At Your Own Risk
by xrxdanixrx
Summary: Everyone at school knows the infamous, rebellious Bella Swan, even straight-laced Edward. But who is she really, apart from the rumors? Edward finds himself stumbling down a dark path trying to understand her. But in the end, will it be worth it? AH EPOV
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**I felt like doing a high school fic. For those that like dark themes and a little mystery, this is probably right up your alley.**

**Thanks to Brandy_D for beta-ing and Irish_Sidheseer, Belindella & AngelStardust for pre-reading/being general supporters of my work.

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_**Warning: This fic contains vulgar language, substance abuse, sexual content**_, **_and other unfortunate behavior that might make you highly upset. _**

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Perfect grades.

Perfect friends.

Perfect family.

Perfect girlfriend.

I had it all.

It was the second week back at school and everything was going well. I was finally a senior this year, and would be going to my dream Ivy League college, Yale University for Pre-Med. Well, I didn't know for sure, but Dad assured me I was a shoe in with my top notch grades, solid attendance, and extra curricular activities.

I pulled up to my usual spot in my brand new Volvo my parents had gotten me over the summer. The spot was conveniently located right against the pathway to the school doors. Even though my name wasn't on the parking spot, per se, everyone knew it was mine. Sometimes, I felt bad, but I figured that if no one was going to park there, then I would shamelessly continue to do so.

As I opened my door and stepped out, a loud horn blared, followed by a large vehicle nearly running me over in the space next to my car.

"Ed! Move or I'll squash you."

I walked out of the space and saw a mop of dark curly hair, which could only belong to my best friend, Emmett. He was smiling smugly at me from the driver's seat of his Jeep Wrangler with his window rolled down.

Adjusting my messenger bag, I walked over to him, and opened his car door. "One day, I really think you _will_ run me over."

He smiled. "I plan on it."

As he fully vacated his Jeep, it was hard to miss how tall he was. I was already tall at six foot two, but Emmett was well over six foot four. He practically hovered over me.

He grabbed his bag, as well as a piece of paper, which he handed over to me. "Here's your essay back for AP Lit," he said.

I placed it into my bag, trying to be careful not to tear it or crinkle it. "Did you have any trouble stealing my ideas?" I teased.

He rolled his eyes. "Nope."

"Now, tell me. Did you even read _Invisible Man_?" I queried.

"Yes. I read Invisible Man…"

"Good," I said.

"…SparkNotes," he added.

"What?"

He chuckled. "Invisible Man SparkNotes. Four bucks at Barnes & Noble."

I snorted. "One day, Em, you're going to get caught, and I'll laugh."

He leaned against his Jeep. "Oh, please. If I've never been busted for not reading any books assigned, then I probably won't now. Besides, if people like me decided to read the books, then how will SparkNotes ever get business?"

His logic baffled me sometimes.

"Anyway, I have a major case of senioritis," Emmett said. "I don't feel like doing anything all year."

"That's ridiculous," I stated, aghast.

"We can't all be wonderful like you, Ed," he joked sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my watch, then frowned. The bell would be ringing soon. "Where's everyone?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "They're supposed to be riding with Rose today."

As if we had been heard, a bright red BMW M3 convertible suddenly pulled into the lot. Emmett and I practically skipped over to it.

"Ahhh, there's my girl," I cooed as my sweet girlfriend stepped out of the passenger side. Her curly, strawberry blonde hair was perfectly styled, framing her smooth, pale skin. She was always dressed to the hilt, her designer clothes probably cost more than the school paid for textbooks.

I shut the door for her and enveloped her in a big hug.

She sighed into my neck. "Eddie, I missed you."

"I missed you, too," I breathed, catching her lips in a soft, slow kiss.

A chorus of coughing sounded behind us, and we pulled apart to see our friends, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice smiling smugly at us.

"Tanya, can you please tell your boyfriend to _not_ make out with you against my car?" Rose barked as she spun around, whipping her long blonde hair in the air.

I hadn't realized, but I had pressed Tanya up against the door.

"Sorry, Rose," Tanya said softly, blushing as she moved further away from me.

Tanya and I met in our freshman year and had been together ever since. A lot of people called us the "perfect couple" and I had to agree. We enjoyed each other's company and never fought once. Plus, my family absolutely adored her.

I grabbed her hand and took her messenger bag from her as we all made our way up the path towards the school.

Jasper walked up next to me, smiling. "Guess what we did last night," he whispered quietly to me.

"Who's we?" I questioned back in a whisper.

"Me and Alice," he said, as if I should've known already.

"Do I really want to know?"

"Come on, even though we're cousins, you're still my friend."

Jasper was probably the family member I was closest to. It probably helped that we both were in the same grade and went to school together, but we still had a lot of fun.

"Alright, fine. What did you two do?" I asked, but not really wanting to hear the answer.

"She let me touch her…you know," he mused triumphantly.

Jasper and Alice had only been dating for three weeks, so I was quite shocked that they had already gotten that far. I'd been with Tanya for three years and we still hadn't had sex…or even went passed second base. The most I'd ever done was grope her breasts while we made out on my bed, but even then, I asked permission beforehand.

It wasn't that we didn't want to have sex, because Lord knows, I definitely did, but we had agreed early on that we would wait till we went to college before taking each other's virginities and moving our relationship forward. I did hope, though, that in the near future, she'd let me do what Jasper did to Alice, at least.

I was just about to respond to Jasper, when a loud backfire and clattering of metal sounded throughout the parking lot. Everyone in the lot, as well as on the walkway, stopped what they were doing to acknowledge the beat up, red Chevy that just entered the parking lot.

"Oh, geez…always has to make a damn entrance," Rosalie huffed, and stalked off into the school with Emmett on her tail.

People began whispering as the Chevy's truck door jarred open. I continued to stare as if in a trance.

There, stepping absentmindedly out of the truck, was the reason everyone still hadn't made a move to the school, even though the bell had just rung.

She had dark hair, and _always _wore black jeans and a black tank that hugged the curves of her body. Her lips were blood red and her eyes dawned her trademark dark blue eye shadow.

She grabbed her beat up orange Jansport backpack from the back of her trunk, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighter from inside, and then swung the bag carelessly over her right shoulder. She lit up a cigarette with her yellow lighter, which had a biohazard symbol plastered on it, and took a few drags, bending her head back and blowing smoke up in the air.

"You ready to go, sweetie? We're going to be late," Tanya said, pulling me out of my daze.

"Oh…yeah," I fumbled. I slung an arm around her and continued to walk with her towards the building.

Looking over my shoulder, I noticed the dark haired beauty was looking directly at me. Never taking her eyes off mine, she took one last drag of her cigarette, and tossed it on the gravel in front of her, stepping on it with the ball of her shoe. She then turned away quickly and disappeared into some bushes nearby.

I turned my attention back to the front of me as we walked into the building, and realized that Alice and Tanya were talking.

"She's so odd…" Alice commented. "I wonder if she'll ever stop being weird."

"That's not nice, Alice," Tanya chastised as she reached for her locker and opened it. "Maybe she's just misunderstood."

Alice opened her own locker next to hers. "Well…I heard that Bella Swan meets with her drug dealer in those woods every morning. That's why she always skips the first couple of periods."

Bella Swan…

Every guy's wet dream, every girl's nightmare.

Bella was one of those girls that just didn't care what everyone else thought. She did what she wanted, when she wanted, and if people didn't like that, it didn't faze her.

I hadn't actually spoken to her in years. Back in our freshman year, we had a lot of classes together and spoke casually, but by the end of the second semester, she began to change slowly. She was this mousy, shy girl, who suddenly began lashing out and skipping classes. When sophomore year started, she didn't even show up until the end of the first semester, and even then, she would continue to skip classes and rebel against the teachers.

She'd already been suspended a couple times for smoking in various parts of the school grounds when she should've been in class. She also refused to do most of her assignments issued to her. I was pretty sure she was failing, which I couldn't understand. I just didn't comprehend how someone would allow themselves to fail. I'd chastise myself even if I received a ninety-eight percent on a test! Which was never…

Aside from all this, many guys in school still sought after her. In the men's locker room during gym, I'd constantly hear about crazy stories involving guys and her, saying how they'd had sex with her under the bleachers, or that so-and-so had a foursome with her and two cheerleaders.

As the years went on, and she became more reclusive, the rumors that constantly floated around about her became more and more salacious. I tried not to listen to them, but sometimes, I couldn't help myself. It wasn't as if I had a crush on her or anything, like most of the guys in school, but I certainly did notice her. She had an unmistakable air of confidence about her that was refreshing, yet she never sought out any attention. If anything, she was intriguing because she was so mysterious.

It was no lie that many girls hated her. Either they felt threatened by her unwanted popularity, or they couldn't understand her. The funny part was a lot of them would wear the same shade of blue eye shadow as her. She had definitely started a trend with that.

"Are we talking about Bella Swan?" Emmett asked, joining us at the lockers with Rosalie on his arm.

"Why?" Rose questioned snippily. "Do you like her like every other goddamn guy in this school?"

Emmett leaned down and kissed Rose's forehead. "You know you're the only girl that's my type."

_Nice save. _

Rose smiled cockily.

Rosalie was extremely vain. She was considered one of the most popular girls in school and she knew it. Of course she was beautiful, but she was also extremely smart. She was acing all of her classes and involved herself heavily in school activities; she was on the debate team, a student council member, and joined just about every committee she could get her hands on.

Alice and Tanya also joined Rose in her quest to dominate the school, only Alice did it because she wanted to get to know people and be active. Tanya did it simply so it would look good on her high school transcripts going into college, since she was following me to Yale to become a doctor as well.

I really admired Tanya for being so dedicated.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Tanya suddenly leaned up and kissed my cheek. "What are you thinking about?" she asked with a smile.

I pushed the hair out of her face and caressed her cheek. "Oh…just you, of course."

She winked at me and pulled on my hand. "We should get to class; I heard there's going to be a pop quiz in AP Chem."

The morning passed quickly, and soon, it was time to go to lunch. I was one of the first people to arrive in the cafeteria, so I quickly grabbed a tray and got whatever food I wanted. I made sure to pick out a granola bar for Tanya, since it was her favorite.

Making my way down the selection of food, I heard a loud gasp.

"Young lady, I saw that! You have to pay for that!"

I turned my head to see the woman, who usually sat at the lunch line check out, huffing and throwing her hands up in the air. Then, I saw who she was yelling at, and I froze, wanting to see what was going to happen.

Bella Swan spun around to face the woman, her blood red mouth set in a hard, thin line. She took an apple out of her backpack and held it up, casting the woman a snide look. "Whatever. How much?" she asked as if it was a nuisance.

"It's one-fifty," the woman stated.

"One-fifty? For a shitty apple?" Bella yelled. She set the apple on top of the cash register. "No thank you." She turned on her heel and began to walk away.

I walked over to where she had left the apple. "Wait!" I called out to her.

She turned around and glared at me. Her expression remained hard as she analyzed my actions. I grabbed the apple and put it on my tray, then quickly paid for everything.

"Here," I said, holding the apple out to her.

She eyed my hand for a few moments, looking as if it was poisonous or something. I lifted my eyebrow and held it closer to her. Her eyes snapped up to mine and she quickly grabbed the apple, then stalked over to a trash can and threw it in. Without looking back at me, she tossed her bag on a nearby empty table, and sat down.

My mouth fell open slightly. I had paid for her damn apple, only for her to throw it away without so much as a thanks. I huffed and found the furthest empty table away from her.

_Last time I ever try to do something nice for her. _

What was her problem, anyway? Why did she try to steal the apple, only to throw it away when I offered it to her? For free!

Before I could get any more worked up about it, the beautiful girl I'd been dying to see entered the cafeteria.

"Tanya!" I called out anxiously, and waved my hand in the air so she knew where I was.

"Hey, honey. I'm just going to go get some food," she said, placing her bag down.

I held up the granola bar. "I already got your usual."

She laughed lightly. "That's sweet of you, but I'm actually a bit more hungry today. I'll be back." And with that, she disappeared into the now growing lunch line.

Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett suddenly came in and located me. They pulled chairs up to the table and sat down without getting any food.

"You guys aren't eating?" I asked.

"We skipped last period and went to IHop," Emmett said casually.

I furrowed my brow. "You _skipped_?" I asked incredulously. "Wait…why wasn't I invited?"

Rosalie laughed. "Like you'd ever skip class, Mr. Perfect Attendance."

That was true. I would've probably turned them down so that I didn't ruin my attendance, but I still would have liked to have been invited. I didn't reply, but merely shrugged and began eating.

The cafeteria suddenly became a bit more quiet. I noticed people looking in the direction of the cafeteria entrance, but Emmett was blocking my view. I moved my chair an inch to the left and saw six dark, large guys making their way into the cafeteria.

"Looks like the La Push guys decided to show for once," Jasper noted.

They walked over to where Bella was sitting by herself, and grabbed some chairs. One of the guys couldn't locate a seat nearby, so he lifted a chair that a small freshman boy was sitting on.

"Hey!" the little boy squeaked, then cowered away when he saw who exactly was stealing his chair.

The La Push guys were feared around the school. Since they were all from La Push, they felt entitled to represent it by only sticking with each other. The exception to that rule, for some reason, was Bella Swan. No one knew exactly why, but they took it upon themselves to guard her…and she actually let them, especially Jacob Black, who constantly followed her around. Bella seemed fairly independent, which surprised me whenever she'd let Black hang out with her.

I watched as Black slung his around arm around Bella's shoulder. She didn't even acknowledge him as she stared out the window of the cafeteria as if in a daydream.

Most people thought they were dating, but then again, no one had ever seen them kiss or anything, so it was hard to tell.

My eyes suddenly locked with Black's. He gave me a death glare and nudged his head to the left. I looked to see what he was trying to make me look at. Tanya was coming back with a tray full of food. I turned back to Black and he narrowed his eyes as if to say "pay attention to your girl, not mine" and then spoke something to Bella in her ear.

"Sorry that took so long. The line was huge," Tanya said, sitting down next to me.

I brought her chair closer to mine and slung my arm around her shoulder, mocking Black. I wasn't afraid of him.

"You okay?" Tanya asked me, looking worried.

"Mhm," I hummed, and continued to eat.

"Oh, Ed," Jasper said, getting my attention. "Your mom and dad told me to tell you they won't be home for dinner. So, it looks like we have the place to ourselves."

Even though Jasper was my cousin, my aunt and uncle were out of the country for the year on business, so he decided to stay with us until he went off to college. It was nice having someone else my age in the house as I had no brothers or sisters.

"Cool," I said. "We can watch some movies or something after I finish my homework."

"Alice is coming over, actually. So…"

Alice sheepishly looked over at me and smiled.

Since they'd started dating, I hardly got to hang out with Jasper, which upset me, but I knew once the novelty of the new relationship ended, we'd find time to hang out together.

"Sure, okay." I turned to Tanya. "You want to come over, too?"

She took a bite of her salad. "I have a tennis lesson, but rain check?"

I pouted and shrugged.

The rest of lunch passed by quickly, and soon it was time to go. As I gathered my stuff, I noticed the La Push guys exit the building through the back door of the lunch room and to the lot, while Bella walked into the hallway.

"So, I'll see you later?" Tanya asked me, picking up her bag.

"Yeah," I said, and pecked her on the lips lightly before we all parted ways.

After my next class, I realized I didn't have my _Invisible Man_ book with me. Figuring I left it in the car, I quickly ran out to the lot, trying to hurry so I could make it to class on time.

As I opened my car door, I saw a puff of smoke fly up into the air nearby. I looked to see Bella leaning up against her truck, staring out into the street, her backpack thrown on the hood of the car.

I tried to ignore her as I rummaged in my car for my book, but the smell of the tobacco was making me feel nauseous. I couldn't understand how _anyone_ could smoke that crap and allow themselves to ruin their lungs.

Finally locating my book, I shut the door. When I turned around to leave, I noticed Bella staring directly at me, the underside of her foot now pressed up against the front bumper of the car.

Even though I told myself I wouldn't be nice to her again, I decided this last time couldn't hurt. "You know," I called out to her as I walked closer, "you really should put that out. A teacher might see you."

It was good advice, right? After all, did she really need to be suspended again?

She continued to stare at me with a blank expression. She brought up the cigarette to her lips and took another long drag, then blew the smoke in my face.

I coughed and sputtered, waving a hand in front of me to quickly diminish the smoke and smell. "Whatever. Sorry for even bothering. I can see you could care less," I spat, and stalked away from her. Before I got to the walkway, I spun around. "Oh, and you're welcome for the apple earlier." Turning away, I walked onto the walkway.

"Hey!" I heard shouted from behind me, which caused me to turn back around.

Bella began to walk over to me, her left fist clenched tightly and her cigarette now on the floor. Stopping a foot away from me, she brought up her fist and threw something shiny at me, which I barely caught.

"It's all I got. Consider this an I.O.U," she rasped out harshly, and stalked off into the bushes.

I stared after her, completely baffled, and looked to see a single quarter in the palm of my hand, which was warm from her holding it before. Placing it in my pocket, I walked silently back inside the school.

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**A/N:**

**Hope you enjoyed this Bella. She's _very_ much OOC. This story will be told from only EPOV.**

**If you liked it, please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**I'm glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter and are already sending your theories my way. It's interesting to see how everyone already views the characters in only the first chapter.**

**Thanks to my beta Brandy_D and my pre-readers Irish_Sidheseer & AngelStardust**

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I glided down the stairs, turned the corner, and into the living room. My mother and father were already seated at the dining table, enjoying their coffee and breakfast in silence. Dad was absorbed in his newspaper and hadn't noticed I'd walked in.

"Oh, good morning, dear," my mom said with a warm smile. "You're up early."

I smiled back and bent down to kiss her cheek. "Yeah, I thought I'd get some studying done for a test I have this morning."

She patted my arm and went back to sipping her coffee. "You're such a good kid," she cooed.

I chuckled. "I try." I realized my dad _still_ hadn't noticed I was here. "Dad?"

He continued reading his newspaper, disregarding I had even spoken.

"Carlisle," my mother barked.

His head snapped up instantly and he folded his newspaper over a little, but still didn't place it down. "Hmm?" he hummed, as if taken out of a trance. "Oh, sorry, Esme. What is it?"

"Your son studied this morning for a test," she notified.

He raised an eyebrow to her. "For what class?"

"Calculus," I spoke out, trying to gain his attention.

He looked at me, took off his reading glasses, and put his newspaper down, making sure to fold it as if he hadn't touched it. "How many hours did you spend studying?"

I sighed. "About one hour this morning."

"And last night?" he asked.

Last night, I hadn't studied at all. Alice had a change of plans and went with Rosalie to some last minute student council meeting. So, Jasper and I spent the evening watching television.

"About an hour, as well," I lied.

Why I felt the need to lie to my father was beyond me. I guess I felt like even though I was doing my best to stay on the course of my life, he still found ways to pick at it every chance he got. I'd sign up for two advanced placement courses; he'd say take three. I'd donate some of my allowance to a homeless shelter; he'd say I should've volunteered instead. Anything I did was just not good enough in his eyes. The only thing I was even remotely doing right was choosing to go into his profession as a physician.

"Two hours would've been more constructive, Edward," he remarked, and went back to his newspaper.

I felt my mom pat and rub the side of my waist. I looked down at her and she gave me a weak smile.

"Yes, sir," I said softly, and retreated into the kitchen.

I wouldn't dare ever challenge him, because at the bottom of it all, I really did want his approval. Though, I did wish that I could have one of those dads who were just proud of everything their child did.

My family might've seemed picturesque on the surface, and it was on most occasions, but could that small fracture between a father and son warrant it imperfect? Apparently, to everyone else, it didn't matter. We had the big house, the nice cars, the husband with a dream job, the wife who was a stay at home mother and involved herself in the community, and the son who would follow in his father's footsteps. And that was all they chose to see.

"Hey," Jasper greeted me as he walked into the kitchen with his school bag.

And then there was Jasper.

Anything Jasper did, my father adored. Jasper didn't have great grades or want to go into a respected profession. He wanted to be an animation designer, for crying out loud. I mean…come on! My father would sit for hours with Jasper, talking about his hopes and dreams, while I'd get a slight nod and a request to go finish my homework and then study.

This all wasn't Jasper's fault, of course. He was still one of my closest friends and I respected him, but I couldn't help but feel completely gypped out of a father-son bond. Maybe if I was his nephew, too, he'd pay more attention.

"Are you ready to go?" Jasper asked, throwing my keys at me and an apple.

I caught both and stared at the fruit, instantly thinking of what happened yesterday with Bella. That girl was entirely too confusing for me to ponder over, but I still slightly wondered why she had given me the quarter. It was clearly not enough to cover the one dollar and fifty cents, but it was still her giving me something in return for a kindness that I had bestowed upon her. A lot of people thought she felt superior to everyone, but maybe she didn't. Perhaps she was just a girl who was misunderstood.

I'd never been misunderstood, so I really didn't know what that felt like.

I took a big bite of the apple. "Yep, I'm ready," I said, chewing. I followed him out the door and to my car.

The entire morning went by pretty quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch, and thank goodness, because I was starving after concentrating for nearly an hour over the Calculus test.

I was on my way to the lunchroom, when I was suddenly being yanked by the back of my shirt into the girl's bathroom. I couldn't see who was pulling me in, but when my back suddenly collided with the bathroom tiled wall, I smiled at who my captor was.

"Tanya, why am I in a girl's bathroom—"

She placed an elegant finger on my lips. "Shhh."

Suddenly, she grabbed the back of my neck and tugged me down to capture her lips in a searing kiss, her tongue forcing its way into my mouth. My eyes widened at her brazen actions. I responded, of course. Why wouldn't I? But it wasn't like her to be so aggressive.

"MmmphTanya," I said against her lips, then pulled away a bit. "You okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she panted, and then crashed her lips to my neck, sucking and licking the skin. She grabbed a hold of my hand and placed it on her firm breast.

My eyebrows shot up. "Tanya, what are you doing?" I hissed quietly, looking around the bathroom, just in case someone was there.

She looked up at me. "Don't you like it?"

_Uh…yeah! _

I did like it, but this was hardly the place to be groping her.

All I could do was nod as I began to feel her nipple harden against my hand, causing a sudden nudge in my pants.

"Then…be quiet," she demanded softly, and continued kissing my neck and collarbone. I tilted my head back, allowing her more access. She lightly scraped her teeth against my neck, which caused me to let out a soft moan. It was interrupted when she grabbed my erection.

Startled, I flew back, quickly unraveling myself from her death grip on my neck, and walked around her. "Whoa! Tanya!" I exclaimed.

"What?" she questioned innocently, her eyes following me.

"Seriously…are you okay?" I asked her again. She was not acting like herself at all.

She walked closer to me. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Because this isn't like you," I remarked.

I didn't mind doing something like that at my house or hers, but not in school. It was entirely inappropriate.

Her energetic demeanor suddenly fell flat and a dejected look appeared in her blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Eddie." She let out a deep sigh. "Some girls were in the locker room, talking about sex. They were all going around discussing their experiences… but then it got to me…" She hung her head, "and I had _nothing_ to say. When I told them I was a virgin, they looked at me funny. Some of the girls laughed a little, and then they went back to discussing their experiences, completely ignoring me."

"Hey…" I pulled her to me, embracing her adoringly, and kissed her forehead. "Don't let them get to you. When the timing is right for us, we'll get there. But right now…in a bathroom…is not the right time."

She looked up at me lovingly and pecked me lightly on the lips. "You're right. Sorry I jumped you," she said, giggling.

I laughed lightly, rubbing small circles on her back. "Don't worry. Let's just go to the cafeteria—"

I was interrupted by someone suddenly clearing their throat. I slowly turned around to see Jessica Stanley, head cheerleader, standing in the middle of the bathroom with an arched eyebrow.

We instantly pulled apart with flushed faces, and I led Tanya out of the bathroom quietly and to the lunchroom.

After we got our meals, we sat down at our usual table where our friends were already seated, but Tanya ran back to the lunch line to get some napkins.

"Try to be a bit more discreet next time," Alice suddenly blurted out to me.

I took a bite of my lasagna. "What do you mean?"

"It's going around that you screwed Tanya in the girl's bathroom on the first floor."

I gasped.

_That evil cheerleading fibber!_

"Way to go, Ed! You finally popped your cherry," Emmett practically hollered out.

I spun my head around frantically, looking to see if anyone had heard that. No one was looking at us, thank goodness.

"You were a virgin?" Rosalie asked, and let out a cackling laugh that pierced through the lunchroom.

"Nice, Rose," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

"Stop!" I yelled. They were talking much too fast. My head was spinning and my face grew warm. "Tanya and I didn't have sex in the bathroom." I began to panic. What if this rumor got to a teacher? Would I be suspended? My dad would flip out. "Alice, how much has this rumor spread?"

She shrugged casually, drinking from her bottle of water. "I don't know. I heard Jessica talking about it to someone in the girl's locker room

I let out a temporary sigh of relief. Even though I still didn't like the fact that there were any sort of rumors about me involving sex, I was still glad it hadn't spread that much. The last thing I needed was something like that to ruin my chances at a future.

"You look sick, Eddie," Tanya noted as she sat down next to me.

I hadn't realized my face reflected my inner fears.

"No, I'm good," I lied.

I began to eat again, when I noticed mostly everyone was looking out the window.

"Lover's spat," Rose chided.

I turned my torso around in my chair and looked out the window. Standing in the lot was Black and Bella. They were arguing intensely, Bella waving her arms around angrily and Black's face turning beet red.

"That girl just _loves _attention, doesn't she?" Rose added sarcastically.

"Quiet, Rose," Tanya snapped.

"What are you? Her friend now?" Rose scoffed

Bella walked away from Black and towards the school, but Black grabbed her arm and spun her back around. He took on a worried expression and looked as if he was lecturing her. Without any sort of warning, Bella suddenly stomped on his foot and stalked off angrily. Black's face contorted in pain as he tried to hobble after her. They both disappeared out of sight.

I heard Emmett snickering, and I turned back around. "That girl has balls," he noted.

"Literally," Rose said under her breath.

The bell suddenly rang, and we all got up and said our goodbyes. Everyone left the lunchroom in a haste. I was a bit slow, now the last person in the lunchroom, as I gathered my belongings and threw my food in the trash. I noticed Emmett had left his tray on the table, which caused me to huff in aggravation, but I begrudgingly threw his away, too. When I turned around, I found myself looking into a pair of dark brown eyes, startling me.

Bella Swan was standing a couple feet away with an emotionless expression, her ratty orange backpack slung over one shoulder. I wasn't sure why she was just staring at me, but I felt extremely uncomfortable.

"Umm," I uttered, unsure of what to say.

She lifted an eyebrow, but still remained silent. After a moment, she held out a fisted hand. I wasn't sure what she was trying to do, so I just remained still. The now empty cafeteria was completely silent, with only the distant sounds of students hustling to their classes. She rolled her eyes at my reluctance, walked over to a nearby table, and placed something on it. Not looking back at me, she began towards the entrance to the hallway.

When I saw that she left a quarter on the table, I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Wait!" I called out to her.

She stopped cold, but didn't turn around.

"What do you want me to do with this?" I asked.

She turned around and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at me with an intensity that made me feel like an ant being scalded by the sun through a magnifying glass.

I cleared my throat and picked up the coin. Walking over to where she stood, I held it out for her to take. "I really don't want it."

Her expression never faltered as she refused to look at my upturned hand with the quarter right in the center of my palm. I was beginning to get annoyed by her lack of response and that she _still_ hadn't taken the coin.

"Well?" I questioned. "Take it."

I heard her inhale through her nose. She suddenly spun around, her long hair practically whipping me, and then stomped off into the hallway.

After I knew she was truly gone, I gritted my teeth and shoved the quarter into my pocket. That girl was a _headache_. I couldn't understand her for the life of me. Who would hand someone a quarter without any explanation at all?

But then, as if a bolt of lightning struck me, her words came tumbling back.

_Consider this an I.O.U._

She had handed me a quarter yesterday, too.

Was she trying to repay me little by little or something? If that were the case, I didn't want her money.

A bell suddenly sounded throughout the empty lunchroom, and my eyes widened.

_I'm late for class!_

"Oh no, oh no, oh no," I chanted under my breath as I made my way into the hallway and down the hall to my next class. I was grateful it was just gym, because they'd most likely be changing right now.

When I entered the locker room, sure enough, all the guys were changing into their uniforms, loudly. They didn't appear to know how to get dressed in silence or hushed tones.

I arrived at my locker to see Emmett casually sitting on the bench in front of it with a bunch of guys surrounding him. He noticed me approaching, and waved. "Ed! Come here," he beckoned, looking angry.

I reached my locker and turned the combination on the lock. "What's up?" I asked.

"Eddie, nice job."

My eyes narrowed, and I turned to see Mike Newton smirking at me with his dirty-sneakered foot up on the bench next to Emmett. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said to him, taking off my blue buttoned down shirt and throwing on the uniform T-shirt.

He snorted. "Oh please! It's going around fast. I heard Bella Swan gave you a blow job in the bathroom."

_Huh? _

I was livid. How did a rumor turn from me and Tanya having sex in a bathroom, to Bella Swan giving me a…? A shutter ran through me thinking about it. I always thought that sort of sexual act was very inappropriate.

"That's not true!" Emmett growled. He turned to me. "I've been trying to tell them it's not true, but they won't listen to me."

Suddenly, there was whistling and hollering at the back of the locker room.

"Yeah, baby!"

"Shake it, girl!"

"Come to see the gun show, hot stuff?"

We all turned our heads when something was slammed against a locker a few rows away from us, but we couldn't see anything.

"Touch me and die, cocksucker."

I recognized that sharp voice instantly, even though I'd just barely become familiar with it.

Bella Swan.

She stomped into my row and stood directly in front of me. Her eyes traveled down to my crotch, and then flew up. "Can you put some fucking pants on?" she seethed.

I looked down at myself and realized I wasn't wearing any pants, just my boxer briefs. Embarrassed, I quickly put on my gym shorts. The guys began laughing boisterously at me, including Emmett. She threw them a murderous glare, and they instantly stopped cold, their smiles converting to frowns, and then they all scuffled away and out of the locker room.

"Yeah…" Emmett trailed off. "I'm gonna go."

I gave him a pleading look not to leave me here with _her_, but he ignored it and quickly scurried away.

Looking back at Bella, I saw her eyes were now narrowed as she continued to stare me down. I swallowed hard, my Adam's apple bouncing in my throat.

"Next time you decide to spread rumors about me and you, think twice for your dick's sake," she spat.

"Excuse me?" I breathed, taken back.

"Do you need a hearing aid or something?" she asked cynically.

I was quite surprised, to be honest. So many rumors floated around about her, and she never cared before. Most of them were ten times worse than this, and she never even acknowledged them. But this one, she was worked up over. Why?

As it was, I was incredibly embarrassed and angry over the rumor, so I knew I had to set things straight. "I didn't start that," I explained.

She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, causing the cleavage peeking out from her black tank top to become more defined. I snapped my eyes up to her face.

"Yeah right," she growled. "You rich kids are all the same. You're all so bored spending your money that you have nothing better to do but make up bullshit to entertain you."

"Us rich kids?" I queried incredulously, irate at her lewd assumption. "How dare you bulk me into some stereotype. You don't even know me."

She inched closer to me, causing me to back up into the lockers behind. The strong scent of tobacco prickled my nose, mixed with something else I couldn't define. "Look," she began harshly. "Just keep your mouth shut, and your little dick will remain intact. Got that?" She then pulled away, placed something on the bench, which caused an echo throughout the silent locker room. Without haste, she began walking towards the exit.

I groaned when I saw that it was _another_ quarter. I grabbed it quickly, and ran up to her as she walked out of the locker room.

"Why do you keep giving me quarters?" I asked, annoyed. "I don't want these."

She continued walking, ignoring me.

"What do you want me to do with these? It's not like I can buy anything with it," I remarked. I noticed we were now out of the building, approaching the parking lot, but I still followed her.

She roughly opened her truck door and hopped inside. "I don't know, Richie Rich," she said with a mock chipper tone as she started her engine and revved it. "Add it to your fucking piggy bank." She slammed her door hard and reversed carelessly out of the space, smoke from her exhaust poisoning the air.

As she drove off, I watched the back of her disgusting mess of a truck speed away.

_The nerve of her. _

Grumbling to myself the entire time, I trekked back into the gym and noticed everyone doing basketball exercises. My gym teacher, Coach Clapp, caught sight of me coming through the door and walked over.

"Detention after school, Mr. Cullen," he said.

"What?" I questioned meekly.

"For showing up tardy for class and leaving the building during school hours," he explained. "Now grab a ball." He turned around and blew his whistle, shouting to move onto the next exercise.

I groaned and became infuriated. If that stupid girl hadn't shown up in the lunchroom or in the locker room, none of this would've happened. I wouldn't have gotten detention and broken the school rules.

When I realized it would go on my record, and that my dad would probably be informed, I couldn't think straight. Normally, I was very good at basketball, but my concentration was ruined and I missed every single shot.

"You okay?" Emmett asked after we got changed and began walking to our next class.

"Yeah, just a little distracted today."

My thoughts went back to Bella and her self-righteous attitude. No wonder she hung out with Black. She was just as much a bully as he was. Maybe even worse! At least Black didn't mess with people's heads and give them quarters randomly.

I was in a full on bad mood by the time I made it to AP Literature. Tanya was seated in her usual spot next to me. She leaned over her desk to kiss me on the lips, but I swiftly kissed her forehead and pulled back, sitting up straight in my desk.

"What's wrong?" Tanya asked me with a pout.

"Nothing," I responded, taking my binder and books out of my messenger back.

"You seem agitated." She grabbed my hand and placed it on her desk, caressing my palm with her finger. "Is it because of the rumor?"

My eyes widened. "You know about that?"

I really hoped she didn't believe the rumor about me and the Swan girl. I had been nothing but loyal to Tanya since we started dating and I would never…_never_…cheat on her in a million years.

"Yes, I know about it. But don't worry; I trust you," she assured, her expression warm. I let out a sigh of relief and squeezed her hand. She looked down at her desk. "It's _her_ I don't trust. Then again…I don't really know her."

I didn't trust Bella, either, to be honest. There was just something about her that was just…off. Plus, she always disappeared in those bushes every morning. What on earth was that about? What was there?

I looked over at Tanya who was smiling sweetly, and decided I didn't care. All that mattered at the moment was that I had a beautiful girl sitting next to me.

I brought her dainty hand up to my lips and kissed it chastely, then lightly set it back on her desk.

"Hey, let's go out somewhere after school. Just you and me," she suggested.

I frowned, remembering I had detention. "I can't," I muttered. "I have detention."

She gasped loudly and her mouth fell open. "What did you say? _Detention_?"

I nodded and looked down, ashamed.

"What for?" she asked incredulously.

"I was late for gym today." I knew I couldn't tell her that I followed Bella out to the lot. It felt so wrong to lie, but was it really a lie by avoiding the second part of the reason why I got detention? Perhaps it was a simplification of the truth.

"Why were you late?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

_Because I was with Bella…_

_Oh no, I can't tell her that. _

"I left some stuff in the lunchroom and had to go back for it," I lied, and opened my textbook.

"Your father is going to be—"

"I already know," I snapped, silencing her. Immediately feeling guilty, I pinched the bridge of my nose, refusing to look at her.

"Hmm," she hummed, and turned forward. "Well…I guess I'll just call you later tonight, then."

The remainder of the day passed and my mood continued to get worse as my fated detention approached. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed, but I didn't want to break anymore school rules. And I certainly didn't feel like hearing from my dad about this.

When the last bell of the day rang, and everyone filed out of school, I said bye to my friends and made my way over to the gymnasium where detention was usually held after school. As I walked in, I noticed a few people that I'd never seen before…or paid attention to. They all looked bored and acted like detention was a burden, as if they'd been there before many times over.

_Ugh…this so isn't me. _

I was a good kid! I didn't break rules and get detention. I got straight A's and had life goals. These guys probably lived for the day, disregarding their futures, which was probably why they were in detention.

But so was I…

_Cause of stupid Swan! _

I hung my head low while I walked to the bleachers, finding a spot as far away from anyone as possible. I took out my Calculus homework and began working on it in silence. After a few minutes, Coach Clapp walked in and analyzed us with his arms crossed over his chest, his bicep muscles flexing.

"Detention has started, so I suggest you all get some studying done or homework—" He cut himself off when a loud slam of the door echoed harshly throughout the gymnasium. We all turned our heads to see Bella Swan stalking into detention brazenly. "Nice of you to show, Miss Swan," he quipped sarcastically.

She disregarded him and walked over to the bleachers where we all were sitting. As soon as she saw me, her eyes narrowed, but then she smiled smugly. When I realized she was swiftly approaching me, I quickly put my head down and continued to do my Calculus homework.

_Let's see… f(x)=(9-x^2)^3/5…_

Against my own will, I briefly glanced up. She was standing directly in front of me, her dark blue shadowed eyes boring into mine with an emotion I couldn't pinpoint.

My pencil suddenly fell out of my grasp as I stared back at her in a seemingly unbreakable trance.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Aww, cliffie. Next couple chapters I'll try to get up quickly, and then I'll go into my regular posting schedule of weekly. **

**Added note: This _will _get angsty. I'm not even joking. It probably doesn't seem much like it now, but it'll build, I assure you. **

**I'll give you a quarter if you review. I'm serious. I have a shit load of these for laundry. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

**Thanks for the interest so far! **

**Thanks to my Beta Brandy_D and Pre-readers Irish_Sidheseer & AngelStardust

* * *

**

My eyes refused to tear away from hers. Even the sound of my pencil clattering against the bleachers didn't jolt me.

She threw her bag on the ground without looking away. "You're in my spot," she snapped quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Move."

Like two cars colliding, it came crashing back to me who this person was and how rude she acted. "I was here first," I said childishly. I looked around at all the empty spaces on the bleachers. "There are so many other places you could sit. Choose one."

She laughed low and menacingly. "No. I want the one you're sitting in. I sit there every time I come here, and I'm not going to change my routine just for some rich goody two shoes. Now, move."

"Swan! Sit down," Coach Clapp growled.

She flared her nostrils without turning around to look at him, and groaned as she flopped down in front of me with a scowl on her face.

I could hear the quiet chortling of the other students sitting nearby. I realized I had quite enough of this. I didn't deserve to be in this ridiculous predicament. Quickly, I put my Calculus homework in my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Coach Clapp eyed me in bewilderment as I approached him.

"Coach," I spoke. "I know I was late to gym today, but it was an honest accident. I swear I won't do it again. I just don't want this to go on my record," I pleaded. "I've worked way too hard to see it go down the drain just for a detention."

He sighed and clapped a hand to my shoulder. "You're a good student, Cullen. I know that. I didn't want to give you detention, but I had to. But if you've learned from your mistake today, you're free to go right now, and I won't notify the principal."

"Really?" I beamed brightly. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, waving me off. "Get outta here before I change my mind."

I smiled and began to walk towards the exit. I felt appropriately arrogant because _I_ got to leave, while Bella had to stay behind. I looked over my shoulder to give her a smug smile, when I noticed she wasn't even there anymore. With my hands on the door, I briefly wondered where she disappeared to, and how she got out without Coach noticing, but I quickly pushed it out of my mind because it wasn't even worth my energy to think about. I felt completely rejuvenated as I exited the gym and to the lot. That was one disaster I was thankful to have avoided.

When I got to my Volvo, I searched for my keys in my bag and pulled them out. A bright burst of light flashed in my eye, temporarily blinding me. I noticed something shiny on the hood of my car, reflecting the sun. I moaned in annoyance when I saw what it was.

Another quarter.

Grabbing it roughly off the hood, I spun around and located the ugly red beast and, just as I suspected, saw a puff of smoke shoot up into the air. When I walked towards the truck, I saw _her _leaning against her door, her cigarette cradled between her middle and pointer finger.

"Stop giving me quarters," I demanded. "I can't do anything with them, a dollar fifty means nothing to me."

She snorted and her eyes turned to slits, analyzing the cigarette before she brought it up to her lips. She exhaled loudly, the smoke swirling around us. "Oh, right. I forgot. Richie Rich can't buy his way out of detention with a dollar fifty."

"I didn't buy my way out of detention. I have goals and can't afford any setbacks like detention." Why was I explaining this to her? She didn't care.

She tapped on the stem of her cigarette, the loose ash falling onto my shoe. I groaned and tried to shake it off.

"Look. I'm not taking these quarters anymore," I said, and threw it into the back of her truck, which had a thin layer of muddy water coating the bottom. "So, just stop, please."

I spun around, leaving her there without looking back. When I got into my car and drove off, I was still in a state of euphoria from getting out of detention, and reminded myself to call Tanya to tell her. She'd be so proud of me.

Pulling into my driveway, I noticed my father's car was here, which meant his shift finished. Normally, when I got out of school, I'd come home to a relatively empty house. Dad would get off a couple hours later.

I went inside the house, keeping my bag firmly slung over my shoulder as I made a beeline for the stairs.

"Hey, Edward."

I froze with my foot on the first step. "Hello, Jasper," I muttered.

Because I wouldn't turn around, he walked up a couple steps and stood in front of me. He was eating a blueberry yogurt.

"What's going on?" he asked, licking yogurt off his spoon.

"Nothing, just trying to get up the stairs," I told him, eyeing him so he'd move aside.

He looked at me curiously, and then had a moment of realization. "Oh!" he exclaimed, stepping to the side. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I said, and began walking up the stairs.

Jasper followed me. "I was worried about you after school. Tanya said you got detention."

I was just about to respond, when a throat suddenly cleared at the bottom of the stairs.

We both stopped moving. Jasper turned around much quicker than I did.

"Oh. Hi, Uncle Carlisle," Jasper greeted cheerily.

My dad was holding a folded up newspaper under his arm as he stared up at us through his reading glasses. "Hello, Jasper," he said, not looking at me. "Why don't you go up to your room. Esme will call you down for dinner soon."

Jasper nodded, and walked up the stairs. I began to follow after him.

"Edward," my father said sternly.

I looked over my shoulder, down at my dad. His newspaper was now in his right hand, and he was looking straight at me.

"Come down here," he demanded sternly, and walked into the living room.

I watched him go for a second, but then took a few steps back down and into the living room. With his back turned, he pointedly slammed the newspaper on the dining table and took off his reading glasses, setting it on top of the paper.

He spun around to me. "Detention, Edward?" he questioned incredulously.

I stared at him blankly, not answering.

"You came home late today because you were in detention. Am I correct?" His tone was harsh and unsettling.

"Yes, Father, but—" I began to explain.

"Edward, you do _not_ spend years working towards a goal, just to blow it all and earn a detention." I could hear his disappointment, and it created a mixture of sadness and anger within me. "What exactly did you do?"

I hung my head a bit and held onto the strap of my bag, treating it as a security blanket. "I was a little late to class," I answered softly, looking down.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is disappointing. I expected more of you." He walked over to the house phone and picked it up. "Now I have to call the school and try to fix _your_ mistake."

A spark ignited within me as I remembered that it wouldn't go on my record. "Dad, the school won't know about it. I didn't actually do detention. Coach let me go," I explained, hoping he'd forgive me.

He set the phone back down and brought his attention back to me. "You are incredibly lucky you maneuvered out of that," he began. "Next time, think twice before being late to class. Leave straight as the bell rings; don't chat to your friends or your girlfriend. There is a time for socializing and it is _not_ during school hours, do you understand me?"

I didn't want to disappoint him again. If I agreed, maybe he'd go easy on me. "Yes, Father…"

"Do you realize the importance of keeping your record spotless? Once you let one responsibility slip, it's easy to let others, as well. Yale only accepts a very small percentage of students, and if they happen to see a detention on your record, don't you think the chances of you getting in might become slim to none?"

"Yes, Father."

"Don't 'Yes, Father,' me and then do whatever you want. Stay on the course, Edward." He pounded his fist into the palm of his hand, emphasizing his point. "Less than a year. That is _all _you have left," he yelled. "Do not ruin your chances before you even get them."

I held on tighter to the strap of my bag as the sound of only our breathing filled the air.

"Go to your room," he demanded, and turned away.

Without another word or thought to upset him further, I quietly walked out of the living room and up the stairs.

"Do your homework and then study!" he yelled out.

I set my bag down on my computer desk and opened it, taking out my textbooks. A soft knock sounded at my door, but I didn't deter my attention away from preparing to do my homework.

"Is it safe now?" I heard Jasper whisper at my door.

I shrugged and sat down, grabbing a pencil and getting to work.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know what I said would get you in trouble," he said remorsefully.

I continued writing with my head down. "It's fine; forget it."

"No, it's not. If I kept my mouth shut, you wouldn't have gotten yelled at. Tanya said not to tell your dad, and then there I went—announcing it to the world, practically."

I grasped the pencil tighter, almost snapping it in two. "I said it's fine," I repeated in a low voice.

He was quiet for a moment, and I almost thought he had left. "Do you want any help?"

"No," I answered flatly, flipping through my textbook.

"Dinner, Jasper!" I heard my mother call from downstairs.

I leaned the side of my head against my hand as I further blocked off my view from him.

"Are you not coming down?" he asked. I could hear his feet shuffling on the carpet.

"I have homework."

"Oh." He inhaled and sighed. "Alright, well…I'm going to go down to dinner…Bye…"

I waited a few minutes, until I knew he was gone, and then threw my pencil down on top of my textbook. I could hear the distant sound of plates clanging and quiet laughter. My stomach tightened involuntarily.

Scooting my chair back, I stood and closed my door softly, locking it, and muffling any outside noise.

I went back to my desk and sat down, attempting to do my homework again. For ten minutes, I went over the same Calculus problem, and still couldn't understand it, yet Calculus was my best subject.

My stomach began to make noises, and I realized I hadn't eaten anything since noon. I threw my head back and rested my elbows on the arms of my chair, my hands clasped together.

I knew I couldn't afford any more slip ups. Dad was right; once I slacked on one responsibility, then it would be easy to let other responsibilities slide. And all for what? Being late to class to talk to someone I didn't even know? Someone who didn't even have a care for anyone but themself?

It was any wonder why Bella Swan even showed up at school. It wasn't as if she stayed the whole day. So, why did she bother showing up at all? It seemed everywhere she went she caused some sort of problem, and now I was being unwillingly dragged into her bubble of instability.

The fact was she had no goals, no future. But I did.

I couldn't, and wouldn't, allow myself to become _that_ sort of guy. The guy who would work hard and then let something stupid ruin his future and have it all be for naught. Every one expected me to succeed, and if I didn't, well…I wouldn't let that happen, now would I?

I was jarred out of my thoughts when my cell phone rang. I hesitated, because if my father heard me speaking on the phone, then he'd go ballistic. Listening out for any sounds of footsteps on the stairs, I took my phone out of my bag and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweetie."

I smiled, feeling instant relief by the sound of Tanya's voice. "Hey, how are you?" I asked as almost a whisper.

"Good, but why are you speaking so low? I can barely hear you."

I sighed. "I got in trouble with my dad."

"What? Oh no…did Jasper tell your father?" She seemed worried, and I was thankful that I had someone that was on my side, at least.

I chuckled bitterly. "Sort of. He brought it up when I got home, but my dad overheard."

She breathed into the phone. "I'm so sorry."

I furrowed my brow. "Why are _you_ sorry?"

"Because I shouldn't have told Jasper."

"It's not your fault…" I trailed off as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Hold on." I stuffed the phone in my bag, making sure not to end the call, and went back to doing my work.

There was a soft knock on my door and I turned my head. My mother was standing in my doorway holding a tray with a plate of food, a glass of milk, and something wrapped in aluminum foil. "Hi, sweetheart. Everything okay in here?" She set the food down on my bed, since my desk was cluttered with books and papers.

I smiled genuinely, her warm presence flowing though my room. My mother was always so thoughtful, and I really did love her. She always appreciated everything I did and would praise me for it. I knew I could depend on her for her undying support.

"Yes, Mom. Just doing some work," I replied, leaning back a bit to observe the food. "What's in the foil?"

"Just some cookies I baked for you and Jasper earlier. You didn't come home straight after school, so it might be a bit cold, but I tried to preserve them as best as I could."

"Thanks…" I said, smiling weakly as I unwrapped the foil.

"He just wants to see you succeed, Edward."

_And he has made that blatantly clear. _

"I know."

She smoothed my already slicked down hair a bit before heading towards the door. "Don't stay up too late."

I nodded and returned to my work, taking a bite out of my cookie. I was able to concentrate a little more now, enough to complete my Calculus homework. But as I was about to move on to my AP Lit homework, I stiffened.

_Oh no! Tanya!_

I quickly dug around in my bag and retrieved my cell phone. The screen was set to my background, so that meant the call had ended. I dialed her number frantically, but her voicemail message came on. After a few more tries with the same result, I gave up and shut my phone off for the night.

For the rest of the evening, I continued to do my work, and when I finished, I spent the remainder of the night studying tirelessly…

X-X-X-X

_The sounds of the ocean tickled my ears as I trudged my way across the sand, step by step. Warm sand slid into my tennis shoes, rubbing roughly against my toes. A trickle of sweat formed on my brow and slithered its way down my forehead and onto the bridge of my nose before it made its decent towards the tip. I reached up and absorbed it with the sleeve of my thick black sweater. _

_A light breeze fluttered from behind me, and I followed its translucent path with my eyes, landing distinctly on the form of a woman standing on the sandbar of the beach, her back facing me as she gazed out over the water. She wore a long, flowing cotton white dress that waved in the mild breeze, her shoulder length light, curly hair flying lightly everywhere. _

_I stopped behind her, but words escaped me. As if sensing my presence, she turned around. The sun shone on her face, defining her pristine features. _

"_Tanya?" I cocked my head to the side…unsure of why she was standing alone on the beach. _

_She smiled endearingly and mouthed something inaudible, the waves crashing on the shore, drowning out her voice._

"_What?" I questioned loudly. _

_The beach went completely silent and the waves continued their movements, but the ambient sounds they provided were completely muted._

"_Honey…" she said softly, placing her delicate hand on my shoulder. "Wake up." _

Everything suddenly faded to black.

"Hmm?" I hummed, coming to my senses. My lids were still closed firmly.

I felt the soft touch of a hand jolting my shoulder. "Wake up, honey. You're going to be late for school."

One side of my face felt completely numb and was tingling as it pressed up against something cold and flat. I sat up slowly and realized a piece of paper was stuck to the side of my face with my warm spit. I groaned and removed it, placing it back on the desk.

"Did you spend the whole night studying?"

Still in a daze, I turned my head and saw my mom, holding a cup of coffee and gazing down at me with a worried expression.

"I have no clue," I croaked out. I remembered studying, but for how long, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that, at some point, I must've dozed off on my desk.

"You normally would've left a while ago," she noted. "I became worried when I saw your car still parked in the driveway."

My mouth felt funny. I really needed to brush my teeth. I looked down at myself and saw that I was still in my clothes from the night before.

My mom pressed a hand to my forehead. "Honey, you don't look well. Maybe you should stay home…"

I shook my head and stood. "No, I'm fine." I looked over at my alarm clock. When I saw what time it was, my eyes widened and I became fully alert. "Jesus Christ! The bell is going to ring in ten minutes!" I ran over to my closet and rummaged through for something quick to throw on. "I'm never going to make it in time."

"You'll make it," my mother assured. "It's raining today, so make sure to drive carefully."

I quickly stuffed my books in my bag, zipping it up in a haste, and slung it over my shoulder. When I sprinted out of my room, my mother followed me out and down the stairs.

"Do you want me to drop you off?" she asked as I grabbed my keys off the key hook.

"No." I flung open the door and walked out.

"Make sure you—"

I shut the door behind me, blocking out her voice. No matter what she had to say, I didn't have any time to hear it.

On my way to school, I popped gum in my mouth and chewed feverishly because I hadn't had time to brush my teeth. With five minutes to spare, I threw open my car door and shut it hard, then began to move toward the walkway.

"You should probably lock your door. You never know who might try to steal your shit."

I stopped my movements and turned around at the voice.

_Of course…_ I grumbled sarcastically to myself. _Can this morning get any worse?_

Bella was sitting casually on the hood of her car, her legs dangling over the bumper. For once, she wasn't smoking, which was odd. She just sat, perched on top of her car, looking in my direction.

I located the little lock button on my keys and pressed it pointedly in cynicism, then began walking again.

"You forgot something else."

I stopped and slumped my shoulders, sighing dramatically.

_Why won't she leave me alone?_

"Your bag," she remarked.

I narrowed my eyes at her and pressed the button to unlock my Volvo, then stalked back over to retrieve my messenger bag. When I got it, I closed my door, making sure to lock it. I even double checked by pulling on the handle several times.

I looked over at her, raising an eyebrow. What I really wanted to say to her was "Is this okay, your highness?" But I just wanted to get out of the lot and into class already.

She brought up her hand and gave me an a-okay gesture. With that, I turned around and neared the walkway.

"And—"

I spun around and stared daggers at her. "What?" I yelled viciously, feeling the agitation of having so little time to get to school fully weigh in on me. "I'm going to be late for homeroom! Do you mind?"

She eyed the top of my head, her eyes shimmering as a small smirk appeared across her face. "Nice hair, Richie."

I groaned and threw up my hands. "It's Edward," I corrected with venom laced in my tone.

She ignored my words as she reached into her bag that was splayed out on the hood of her truck and took out a pack of cigarettes and her biohazard lighter. She jumped off her truck, landing firmly on the ground, and walked directly over to where I stood. Furrowing my brow in confusion, I watched as she brought her hand up to cradle the air around the flame to protect it. As the tip began to smolder, she slipped the filter between her red lips and inhaled slowly. A serene glow masked her face, flushed from the cold. When she blew the residue smoke out, a bit escaped her nose. Without consequence, her dilated eyes locked with mine. Holding my gaze, she took the cigarette out of her mouth and held it out to me.

"What's this?" I asked, hesitant by her action.

She raised an eyebrow as if I should know what she was doing. "Do you want a drag?"

I scrunched up my nose in disgust. No I did not! "I don't smoke," I stated. "And you shouldn't, either."

She huffed in amusement and tapped her cigarette, the ash fluttering to the wet pavement.

"Do you realize how many chemicals and poisons one cigarette contains?" I questioned her, trying to make her see the light. She was practically smoking a stick of death. "I mean, you're talking about arsenic, methane, carbon monoxide, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide, and etcetera. Not to mention, it can cause emphysema, which rots your lungs, as well as strokes, heart disease, lung cancer…"

She yawned dramatically and took another long drag. "Well. You're just a book of fucking knowledge now, aren't you, Richie? Fortunately for me," she smirked, "I didn't listen to a single fucking word you just said."

_Well…your loss if you die early. My gain…_

I furrowed my brow at my own thoughts. Since when did I wish ill will on people?

"Bella, let's go!"

We both turned our heads to see Jacob Black at the other end of the lot by the bushes, leading to the forest. He eyed me up and down, his nostrils flaring and his fists clenching.

She turned her attention back to me. "See ya," she said casually, and walked over to Black. But not before flicking her cigarette onto my car.

_Oh no!_

I quickly ran to my Volvo to see if it left a burn mark of some sort. She was lucky it hadn't! Just in case, I rubbed the spot aggressively with my sleeve.

I looked over to where I knew she walked to, and gave her the darkest, most vicious glare I could muster. She gave me a crooked smile as her and Black disappeared into the bushes, his hand on the small of her back possessively.

When I finally got to homeroom five minutes later, I peeked into the classroom to see everyone either watching the morning announcements on the television or chatting with each other. I looked, briefly, in the reflection of the window to see light stubble on my face, bags under my eyes, and ruffled wild hair sticking up in every which direction. With no time to spare, I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, hesitantly walking in. Everyone turned their heads towards me, a mixture of surprise and astonishment clouding their faces. Mrs. Cope, my homeroom teacher, looked at me with a blank expression.

I made a move towards my assigned desk, but she cleared her throat. "Mr. Cullen." I turned to her, knowing I was about to be busted. "Please come over here."

I obliged and took the walk of shame over to her desk.

"I don't know why you're late, Mr. Cullen, but you know the rules. It's unacceptable to be tardy to school. The bell rang ten minutes ago," she berated in a whisper while everyone went back to what they were doing.

I nodded and swallowed hard, my mouth feeling incredibly dry. I knew I was going to get another detention. I wouldn't be able to get out of this one this time, either.

"I'm not giving you detention," she assured suddenly.

I looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

"You're one of the brightest seniors we have. I know that it was probably an unfortunate occurrence for you to be tardy, so I will let you off with a warning this time, but don't let it happen again."

_Yes!_

I smiled brightly at her. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Cope."

She nodded. "Have a seat, Mr. Cullen."

I found my usual empty desk and sat sound down, breathing in and out a few times in relaxation and relief.

"Uhh...hello?"

I turned my head and saw Tanya looking directly at me from her desk, she appeared absolutely horrified.

"Hi," I greeted, smiling lazily.

"Where have you been?" she whispered.

Mrs. Cope suddenly notified us to stand for the pledge of allegiance. I stood and placed my right hand over my heart, reciting the oath. After we finished, I sat back down quietly.

"What's wrong with your hair?" Tanya asked, reaching over and smoothing my wild tresses flat to my head. "Did you not brush it or something?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame my locks. "I barely had time to dress," I replied. Normally I'd comb my hair out and add a little gel to it, giving it a sleek look. This morning, I had no time.

A hand suddenly clapped against my shoulder hard. Emmett towered over my desk, blocking my view from the TV. "Ed, you look like you rolled in from a wild party."

"Don't be silly, Em," Tanya said. "He wouldn't go to a wild party."

It was true. I never got invited to those things anyway. I guess people thought I was too good to go and I wouldn't enjoy myself. To be fair, I wouldn't. The idea of going to a party with alcohol, drugs, and making out just didn't appeal to me. It was too much of a distraction. I'd rather just stay in with Jasper or Tanya and watch movies that didn't make much sense.

"Well, you look like hell," Emmett remarked to me.

_I feel like hell, too. _

My late night studying was really starting to weigh in on me and I was beginning to feel weak. If I laid my head down on the desk, I was sure I'd sleep for another four hours at least.

Homeroom passed by relatively quickly as I zoned in and out of what Emmett and Tanya were saying to me. As soon as the bell rang, I said a quick goodbye to them, and went to my locker. The halls were flooded with students rushing to get to their next class, and I had a hard time getting to my locker when I felt like passing out.

When I neared my locker, I saw something white sticking out of it. The closer and closer I got, the more I was certain that it was an envelope. I slid it out from its nook, and observed it. It was a just a blank envelope with nothing written on it, but there was definitely something bulky inside. The flap hadn't been stuck down, so I flipped it open with ease. Inside was a folded up note. As soon as I took it out, three quarters fell out and landed loudly on the floor, skidding to various parts of the hallway. One of them landed right by my shoe, and I noticed it had a thin layer of dirt covering it. A couple freshmen squealed, ran over, and picked them up as if they had landed the jackpot, and then ran to class.

I could faintly hear two girls next to me whispering and looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. "I heard Bella owes him drug money…"

Ignoring them, I opened up the letter. I was faced with rough block letter writing.

_**DON'T FUCKING BUY ME AN APPLE AGAIN.  
**_

Before I had time to digest the message fully, I felt my forehead collide with the lockers, and a sharp jabbing pain in my back caused me to collapse to the cold ground. My whole brain completely shut off as I found myself incapable of breathing…

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**A/N: **

**And so we begin...  
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**Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me your thoughts. Who was that at the end?**

**Next update won't be too far away.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to my Beta Brandy_D and to the ladies who help shape my chapters, my pre-readers Irish_Sidheseer and AngelStardust**

**Note: I updated the first chapter with a warning, so I'll repost it in this chapter for those that didn't get to see it and you'll know exactly what to expect. Right now it's really the calm before the storm, but beware.

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**

_**Warning: This fic contains vulgar language, substance abuse, sexual content**_, _**and other unfortunate behavior that might make you highly upset.

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**_

Blow after blow ignited against my stomach, causing my eyes to screw up in pain. A hand wrapped around my neck, suffocating me. I tried to gasp for air, but my lungs wouldn't allow it. The pressure released from my throat, and suddenly, it stopped just as fast as it started. I opened my blurred eyes weakly and focused on a pair of black, dirty combat boots.

I could barely make out his knees bend as he crouched down. "Stay the fuck away from Bella," he whispered gruffly. "You hear me?"

I inhaled shakily and felt my torso expand. A heavy, painful jab seared through my stomach, causing me to choke to catch my breath.

"Answer me, you pussy!" he spat, and my nose suddenly fell numb as his fist came into contact with it, causing the back of my head to slam against the hard floor beneath me.

I grunted loudly, unable to bring my hands up to my face, because they were already pressing into my stomach to dull the overwhelming throbbing.

All I could muster was a small nod in response.

He let out a low menacing chuckle. "You're a fucking joke."

He stood, the hem of his dark jeans straightening out, and I watched with glazed over eyes as his boots walked down the hall and out of sight. I flopped over on my back, groaning out in agony as the, most likely, bruised part of my back flattened against the ground. I tried to sit up, but when I did, my head began to spin wildly and my vision dipped in and out of focus. With one final shallow breath, I completely gave myself over to the feeling of darkness.

X-X-X-X

"_He's not waking up…" _

"_Maybe I should go get someone." _

My entire body ached. The freezing floor underneath caused a shiver to run down my spine.

"_Wait. He's opening his eyes." _

I moaned and sat up slowly, prickling sensations stinging my midsection. Jasper and Emmett were crouched on either side of me.

"You okay?" Jasper asked.

"How long was I out?" I rasped out, ignoring his question. My throat felt tight and dry. I brought a hand up to my pounding forehead, as if that would stop the massive headache.

"We've been here for only five minutes, but we don't know how long you were out before we got here. You were missing from class, so we came to find you," Emmett explained, grabbing my arm.

"OW!" I hissed as my stomach muscles molded to allow me to stand up.

"What the hell happened to you?" Jasper asked. I looked down at his hand and saw a bloody tissue.

I touched my nose and felt dry crust around my nostrils.

"I tried to get as much of it as I could. It wasn't bleeding too much," Jasper assured.

I began to walk towards the men's restroom, but it was more like hobbling. Jasper and Emmett both grabbed an arm of mine and helped me walk into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror over the sink and noticed a black shadow under my right eye, as well as an almost dried up bloody nose. I knew my stomach and back had to be in worse shape, so I lifted my button down shirt a bit and prepared myself for the sight. Blue and purple bruises were beginning to form on most of my stomach and back.

"Who pulverized you?" Emmett asked.

"Can you be a bit more sensitive, Em?" Jasper berated.

I breathed in and out a few times. "I have no clue," I said, answering Emmett's question.

That was a lie. I knew _exactly_ who it was.

Black.

I didn't actually see him, but who else would feel the need to attack me? He had been giving me dirty looks for the last day or so. It had to be him. Plus, he said to stay away from Bella Swan who he constantly followed around. It wasn't like I even _wanted_ to be near the girl!

Were the rumors true about them dating?

It had to be. I was convinced of it now, considering the minute I read her rude, stupid note, he attacked me. They must've tag teamed me. I could imagine how Black reasoned with himself that it was a good idea.

_Hey, Bella Swan, I'm going to beat the bejeezus out of that Edward fellow because he's getting on my last nerve and seems to be following you around places. So, you send him a nasty note and stick it in his locker, and when he goes to read it—it's clobbering time._

Well…he probably would've used more profanities than that, but something along those lines.

So, did that mean he knew about the quarters, too? Maybe the whole thing was a set up to put me in my place because I took pity and bought something for Bella Swan. It was no secret that the La Push guys were dirt poor, since they lived on the rough side of town. And they'd made it blatantly obvious that they had a chip on their shoulder about that. I wasn't exactly sure where Bella Swan lived, since I never really cared to know, but if she was hanging out with the La Push guys, then she had to be poor, too, right?

"You know, if I had been there, I would've pummeled whoever it was," Emmett growled.

I pulled my shirt back down and grabbed a paper towel, wetting it under the faucet. When I touched it to my nose, a slight sting shot through my face, causing my eyes to prickle with unshed moisture.

"I can handle myself," I muttered, dabbing the area around my nose to collect the blood.

"You let whoever it was cream you!" Emmett shouted angrily.

"That's enough, Emmett. You weren't there, you don't know what happened," Jasper chided.

The fact was, I did let him beat me up. I was never much of a fighter because I never had to be. Plus, it had all happened so fast that I didn't have any time to react.

I threw the paper towel in the trash and walked out of the bathroom. They followed me out, right on my heel.

"Do you want me to call Uncle Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

I stopped cold and spun around to him. "NO!" I barked viciously.

The _last_ thing I wanted was for my father to know about this. I didn't think I could stand having one more thing to add to his list of disappointments.

He put up his hands defensively, looking surprised. "Jesus, Edward…fine, I won't."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sorry…" I apologized. "I'm just having a really bad day."

"We all have one of those every now and then," Emmett remarked.

"Not me. I don't _have _bad days," I noted.

This was the first day in my life where everything simultaneously proceeded to go wrong. I just wanted the day to be over.

I began to walk again, but realized I didn't have my bag. I looked around the floor, but the halls were completely empty. "Where's my bag?"

"What bag?" Jasper questioned.

I began to panic, looking up and down the hallway for it. "My messenger bag."

"We didn't see it when we came here," Emmett said.

_Great. Just…__**great**__._

Everything seemed to be going wrong today, and I had no control over it. For the first time in my life, I actually wanted to unleash my frustrations out on something to help take away my aggravation.

I stalked up to the lockers and kicked it hard, causing them to rattle loudly. My foot ached afterward, but I didn't care. What I did care about was that it didn't even work. I was still feeling just as ticked as before.

"HEY!" Emmett exclaimed, grabbing onto my shoulders and pulling me away. "What's the matter with you?!"

I had to get out of here. I didn't think I could stand to stay when the entire morning had been such a disaster. How would I be able to concentrate in class? I wouldn't. And for some reason, I didn't even care about that.

I shrugged out from his grasp roughly and walked away from them.

"Where are you going?" Jasper called out.

I didn't answer as I made my way to the double doors that led to the parking lot. I pushed it open forcefully and walked out into the shrill, cold air, the light breeze burning my sensitive nostrils. On my way to my car, a dark green color caught my eye, and I turned my head. The school's trash dumpster was full with boxes and cardboard, but on top of all the rubbish was a dark green messenger bag.

_Son of a gun…_

My fists clenched as I made my way over to the dumpster and pulled my bag out from the trash.

_Stupid Black._

I opened my bag and fished for my keys, but stopped. I couldn't go home, that'd be skipping. Yet, I really didn't feel like going back to school. But as much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew that I still needed to attend classes or I'd have to catch up on a lot of work.

Sighing, I walked back inside the school reluctantly. I had to complete the day, at least. The setbacks it could cause for just wanting to miss a couple hours would leave permanent damage.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen."

I turned my head at the voice and saw Principal Banner walking out of the front office.

I was in for it now. Had he seen me leaving the school? Maybe he saw what happened and thought _I _had started the fight. I could never do that. Though, if I ever did see Black again I'd…well…I wasn't sure what I'd do.

He appraised my appearance with a raised eyebrow. "What happened to your eye?"

"Uhh…" _Don't tell him the truth, Edward!_ "My friend, Emmett, whacked me with his Jeep door by accident."

"Emmett McCarty?" he questioned.

I gave him a single nod, trying not to swallow too loudly.

He narrowed his eyes, as if trying to decide if what I said was true or not. "Why don't you step into my office, Edward."

_Oh no…_

He opened the front office door for me, and I walked in, heading towards his office. We both entered and he shut the door behind me. Only the hum of the computer monitor could be heard in the silent room. I sat down hesitantly in one of the chairs at his desk across from him, waiting for what I knew would ruin my academic career.

He eyed me for a minute, and then began typing on his computer.

I wished I had smashed my head against the locker instead of kicking it. Whatever was about to happen to me was going to destroy any chances of a future. I knew it.

"Mr. Cullen. How many AP courses are you taking this year?"

_Huh? _

"Uhh…" I fumbled, taken aback by his unforeseen question.

He looked at me expectantly, adjusting his glasses to sit higher up on his nose, and then folded his hands over the desk.

"Six…I think," I replied.

"And what's your spare period?"

"Gym, Sir."

He nodded once and looked at his computer screen. "You'd like to go to Yale, correct?"

I stared at him blankly. "Yes."

"You have very good grades, Edward," he remarked. You're averaging _over_ a 4.0, right now. I'm not sure if that'll change throughout the course of the year, since it's still fairly early, but knowing your previous report cards, I'm sure you won't have a hard time sustaining it." He leaned back in his swivel chair. "_However_, Yale only accepts a small percentage of students, as do most Ivy Leagues. Though your grade point average is impressive, what else do you have to offer?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Do you participate in extra curricular activities? I know you're on our school's swim team, but what else?"

"Key Club," I answered without hesitation.

"Hmm," he hummed. "Don't get me wrong, these are great. But universities like Yale are always looking for more. They want their students to bring something new to the plate."

I tried to absorb what he was saying. "So, what do you suggest?"

"You haven't signed up for any electives this year. Certain electives look great on your transcript. I suggest taking a foreign language or philosophy." He looked at the computer. "You've already taken French for two semesters, so I suppose that's out of the question, but philosophy is a good bet."

"Great!" I said quickly. "Put me in that class."

He shook his head. "It's full."

I frowned. "Okay…" I trailed off, confused why he suggested it in the first place, then.

"What I can do, though, is place you in another elective, for the time being, until a spot opens next quarter, perhaps. A student from there is transferring to a new school soon," he explained.

"Alright, then, that sounds good."

"Most electives are full, unfortunately. The only elective available, at the moment, is Cooking."

_Cooking? _

"Cooking?" I voiced out loud in disgust. I didn't want to do that!

He chuckled and took off his glasses. "It's not so bad. And it would look interesting on your transcript." He clicked his computer mouse, and suddenly his printer was brought to life. "Plus, you get to eat." He smiled.

I scrunched up my nose. Even though I couldn't cook at all, nor did I want to, I still wanted to up my chances of getting into Yale. "It'll only be for a quarter of a semester, right?"

He nodded and reached for the freshly printed paper. "Yes, only a quarter." He handed the sheet to me. "Cooking is straight after lunch, so you'll have to drop Gym. You've already earned the necessary credits for that, anyhow."

I looked over my schedule. "Where is Cooking, anyway?" I honestly didn't even know we had a cooking class in the school.

"Second floor at the far end of the building. It's a bit of a ways walk from the lunchroom, but I'm fairly sure you'll manage." He wrote something on a small piece of paper and stood. I followed him as he walked out of his office. "You'll need to have Coach Clapp sign that schedule so he knows you're dropping his class, and then you can follow your new schedule." He handed me the small paper. "This is so you don't get in trouble for being late to your next class."

I smiled and nodded. Somehow, I managed to avoid another potential disaster. Thank God for Cooking? Nah...

_Ugh…Cooking. _

I was _not_ looking forward to that. That was certainly going to be forty-five minutes of torture.

_It's only a couple of months, Edward._

I knew I'd have to chant that repeatedly every time I went to that class, otherwise I'd surely go out of my mind.

I went off to my next classes, which went by relatively quickly. When I got to the lunchroom, everyone was already seated at the lunch table. I didn't bother getting lunch today, food was the last thing on my mind, especially because I was dreading going to Cooking.

"Hey…" I greeted my friends as I set my bag down.

Tanya gasped loudly, bringing a hand up to her mouth as she looked me over. "What happened to you?"

I shrugged and sat down. She didn't need to know what happened. The last thing I wanted was to upset her.

"Edward got creamed!" Emmett revealed jovially.

I flashed him a death glare. Didn't he know how to keep his mouth shut?

Tanya looked at me with terror evident in her eyes. "Sweetie…who did this to you?" She brought a hand up to my face and brushed her fingertips against my eye that was probably swollen now. I immediately flinched at the contact. "Sorry," she muttered and pulled her hand back.

"Did you at least give him a good black eye, too?" Rosalie asked.

"No," I said.

A big part of me wished I had. If only I had it in me to be able to hurt someone like that, someone who truly deserved to be hurt. Yet, I just couldn't picture myself ever harming anyone purposefully.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You need some man lessons."

"Rose," Emmett scolded.

"What?" she asked incredulously. "When a guy clocks you, you clock him back! It's called _self_-_defense_…duh!"

Tanya wrapped her arms around me, leaning her head against my shoulder. "Well, I think you handled it as best as you could. Fighting is not the answer." She grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. "It can get you suspended, as well."

On instinct, I went to kiss her forehead, but my eyes were suddenly pulled in the direction of the cafeteria entrance. The La Push guys stormed in and stole a table away from some freshman boys. They each glared around the room as everyone eyed them in fear. A moment later, Bella Swan casually came in with her backpack slung over her shoulder. They all stood up instantly to find her a seat, but Black succeeded, placing it right next to him, the seats practically touching. She sat and stared out the window, her eyes glazing over.

"She has them all eating out of the palm of her hand," Alice remarked as we leered at them.

"How does she do it?" Rosalie questioned, even though none of us knew the answer.

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "I heard Bella makes them listen to hypnosis tapes saying they'll worship her."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "And where exactly did you hear that?" I inquired, not really caring for the answer.

"Locker room, of course!" Alice said, smiling. "That's where I find out most of the gossip."

And if anyone knew the school's gossip, it was Alice. Somehow, she managed to worm her way into people's business. It could work for you, or against you. I was quite thankful I never had anything scandalous for her to poke her nose around in.

"What's her deal, anyway?" Jasper asked. "I mean, she barely comes to school, except for lunch."

Alice shrugged. "Daddy issues, probably?"

I raised an eyebrow curiously. "Daddy issues?"

"Her dad used to be Chief of Police…remember?" Alice pointed out.

I vaguely remembered the town going into a gossiping frenzy when Chief Swan suddenly and unexpectedly retired from the force a few years back. He apparently gave no warning. So, everyone made up their own stories as to why they thought he quit.

Alice continued, "I heard from Jessica that her mom saw Charlie drunk in one of those scummy bars in Port Angeles. Apparently, he hangs out there a lot now."

I looked over at Bella, who was still gazing out the window. I was almost tempted to look out there myself to see what she was looking at.

"Isn't he dating one of the La Push guys' mother?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah, for a while now, ever since Bella's mom skipped town," Alice stated. "Sue Clearwater gets just as trashed as him."

"No wonder Bella is all sorts of messed up," Rose noted. "Actually, no…she does that all on her own." Rose smirked at herself.

"Don't be so catty, Rose," Tanya said. "None of us know why she acts the way she acts."

"Well, it's sort of obvious why she acts like that…" Alice said. I looked away, pretending not to listen, but my hearing focused in on her voice. "She's crying out for attention."

"Which is why she doesn't show up to school most of the time?" Emmett questioned.

"Perhaps it's sort of a backwards way of gaining attention," Alice commented.

The bell suddenly rang. We gathered all our belongings and said goodbye. I noticed Bella practically shoot out of the lunchroom before anyone else even made it to the door.

Completely dreading what was to come, I located Coach Clapp in the guys locker room and got him to sign the schedule, effectively dropping me from his class.

"Remember there's swim practice today after school," Coach reminded as he handed me back the schedule.

I had completely forgotten about swim practice. It was a good thing I always kept my swimming gear in my trunk. "Yes, Coach, I'll be there."

I walked over to my gym locker and opened it, making sure to clear out everything I had in there, mainly just my gym clothes.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked as he sat down on the bench, observing me closely.

I glanced at him briefly before closing my locker. I really didn't want to tell anyone what class I had to transfer to. Even though Emmett was my best friend, it was still an embarrassing situation that I didn't want revealed if I could avoid it. "Just cleaning out my locker…" If that wasn't vague enough, I don't know what was.

"I can see that," he pointed out.

I nodded offhandedly and stuffed my clothes into my bag.

"You gonna tell me where you're going?" he asked.

If I told him, he'd laugh at me. If I didn't tell him, he'd scold me later when he _did_ find out. Which did I want?

_Bring it on, I suppose…_

"I transferred into Cooking," I revealed hastily.

He looked at me for a second with a blank expression. I almost thought he was going to be mature about it. Perhaps he'd give me a pat on the shoulder and say, "I support you." But of course, that wasn't the case…

He broke out into a fit of loud guffaws that bounced off the locker room walls, creating an amplified echo. After a good twenty seconds, his face suddenly went serious. "You're joking, right?"

I rolled my eyes and walked off. He didn't follow me, but took up laughing again. When I closed the door after me, I could still hear him. With my mouth set in a thin, hard line, I made my way up the stairs to the second floor and to the far end of the empty hallway. The door was the _very_ last one and it seemed almost eerily deserted at this end.

The door didn't have a window on it, so I couldn't peek in to see what I'd got myself into. Without further adieu, I held my breath, grabbed the handle, and pulled down.

I began repeating my mantra from earlier._ It's only a couple of months, Edward._

When I swung open the door, it creaked loudly. The front of the classroom came into view. I was confused when I saw my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Cope, standing in front of the whiteboard in an apron. She was talking boisterously to the class, but turned her head towards me at the sound of the door. I walked fully inside, not taking in my surroundings, just focusing on her.

"Mr. Cullen!" Mrs. Cope greeted, clearly surprised and happy to see me. "What are you doing up here?"

"Uhh," I said quietly. Instead of answering her, I gave her my schedule card as discreetly as possible.

She smiled sweetly at me. "Joining us, are you?"

I angled my face towards the whiteboard and muttered, "Yes." Out of security, I slipped my hands into my pockets, feeling a sense of relief at the warm lining inside.

She eyed my schedule and then handed it back to me. "Well, it's a pleasure to have you here."

I could faintly hear several whispers floating around the classroom, but I didn't dare look. Not yet. Somehow, I convinced myself that if I didn't look around the class, that I wasn't actually here, embarrassing myself for the sake of getting into Yale.

I mentally sighed. _Only a couple of months, Edward…_

"We're still learning the basics, even though we're a couple weeks in, so it shouldn't be a problem," she explained. She gave me a warm smile and gestured her hand out towards the class. "Why don't you take a seat?"

I gave her an empty smile in return, and turned towards the class, now fully absorbing it. The class was split in half, the front of the room containing regular school desks, and the back accommodating a long counter, where I figured all the cooking happened.

_Oh God_…_**cooking**__…Only a couple of months…_

The seats were filled with many girls with…wait…they were _all_ girls. There wasn't _one_ single guy in the class.

_Great. Just great. _

They were looking at me in shock, some in awe, and I felt as if I were completely naked in front of an audience. One girl actually looked as if she was picturing me naked, too.

I walked down the aisle towards the back, and located an empty desk. But when I saw who was sitting in the far corner desk near what would be my desk, I stopped moving.

Bella Swan was seated perfectly straight and still in her desk, but her blue shadowed eyes trained down to the flat surface.

Based out of habit, I groaned at the sight of her and made a face…but I couldn't help but notice that she looked different than usual. She looked…vulnerable, as if I had found out some unbeknownst secret of hers. And I was pretty sure I did. Who would've thought that Bella Swan—who made it clear she _hated_ school—would be sitting in a cooking class.

I sat down in my desk, not taking my eyes off her. Strangely enough, I _wanted_ her to look at me. Because I wanted her to know that I found her out. She could sit there, staring down at her desk all she wanted, but I knew that she was full of it. She was all tough on the surface, but what was going on underneath? More importantly, why was she presently in a useless cooking class when she skipped almost every other one of her classes?

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I turned away from her and looked at Mrs. Cope while she talked to the class. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bella's head rise and turn to me for a split second before looking at Mrs. Cope demonstrate the differences between a stainless steel pan and an aluminum pan.

The remainder of the class was spent listening to Mrs. Cope talk about the various types of meal courses. The entire time, I was acutely aware of Bella's presence, but I made it a point not to look back at her again during the class. But as soon as the bell rang, I immediately turned to her to give her some impulsive, snarky comment. That was when I noticed her desk was empty. I saw a flash of dark hair by the door and I watched her practically sprint from the class, her orange backpack barely on her shoulder.

I rubbed a hand over my stubbled face, and gathered my belongings. As I walked out of the room, I repeated my mantra.

_Only a couple of months. Only a couple of months. Only a couple of months. Only a couple of months…_

But I knew that this was going to be a _long_ couple of months.

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**A/N: Oh dear.**

**Now that I got the first few chapters up quickly, my posting schedule will begin to even out to weekly postings. **

**Thanks for reading! I'd love it if you reviewed. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**FYI: I love all your theories, I just can't confirm or deny most of them cause I'm a blabber. lol. **

**Thank you to my beta Brandy_D, prereaders Irish_Sidheseer & AngelStardust, as well as those that have been pimping this story out on twitter and elsewhere. I really appreciate it. **

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I dove into the water, my arms breaking through the surface as my body cut into the wet pressure. Bubbles rippled from my nose as I blew out carbon dioxide. A few clear-cut strokes above the water aligned my body perfectly horizontal while I slowly swam to the shallow end of the twenty-five yard pool. The temperature was lukewarm and felt incredible against my bare chest. Whenever my arms breached the freezing cold surface, my body would cry to yank my arms back underneath where I felt basked in tepid serenity.

I was close to the end. Through my UV protective goggles, I could see the floor of the pool begin to rise, and I passed that blue tiled line, indicating I only had a few yards left to go. My fingertips grazed against a smooth surface, and I instantly stood up straight, the top half of my body becoming exposed to the unwelcoming air. I removed my goggles, placing them firmly on top of my head, and I rubbed my eyes to make sure any chlorinated water didn't obstruct my vision.

"I beat you."

I turned my head and saw Emmett half-naked in the lane next to me with a smug smile. He was relaxing in the water, acting as if he didn't just sprint across the pool like a mad man to keep up with me.

"I wasn't even _trying_ to beat you. I was warming up," I assured. "But if I really did want to race you, you know I'd win."

Yeah, I was cocky. I was a _great_ swimmer. Perhaps it was because I was lean, but I also had muscle tone. Emmett was just a monster, to be honest. His body probably sunk to the bottom when he swam. I, on the other hand, always had perfect form in the water.

I joined the swim team my freshman year and had led my team to victory many times and earned us loads of medals. Coach Clapp, as well as the entire school, always praised me and said I was a commodity to the team, and I secretly relished in that. It was great to know when you were good at something.

I also had a tremendous support system. My parents and friends all came to each of my games to watch me swim. Well, except Rose. She only came to see Emmett.

"Think we'll win the next meet?" Emmett asked me.

I shrugged. "Probably. Who knows?" But I already knew we'd most likely win.

He nodded, leaning his back against the pool's edge. "I'd like to win for us just once," he mused.

I looked over at him. He was deep in thought as he stared out across the pool.

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged and pulled away from the edge. "I guess I just want Rose to be as proud of me as Tanya is for you when you win."

I frowned and ran a hand through my drenched hair. I really didn't know what to say to that. "I'm sure she's proud of you already."

He skimmed his arm across the water, ripples forming and spreading out towards me. "I guess…"

I was beginning to shiver and wanted to get out for a bit. Grabbing onto the ledge of the pool, I amassed all my upper body strength to push myself out onto the paved surface, water trickling down my pale skin as I elevated myself. Practice wasn't going to start for another twenty minutes, so I decided to go hang out in the locker room until then.

"You coming, Em?" I called.

"I'm not getting out! It's freezing!" he exclaimed, splashing the water a bit.

I rolled my eyes. "Which is why I'm going to the locker room."

He thought for a long moment, and then shook his head as he sunk his upper body into the water, the surface coming up to his shoulders. "Nah, I'm cool." With that, he kicked off the wall and swam back to the other side.

"Whatever," I muttered, and began looking for my towel.

Just as I located a bundle of white around the other side of the pool, several rounds of loud, harsh laughter crackled through the air like thunder, causing me to jar my head towards the unpleasant sound.

Walking out from behind the bleachers were a few of the La Push guys. They were howling with laughter and glowering at me. Tucked greedily under Black's arm was Bella Swan who wasn't looking in my direction like the guys were, but she did have an indecent scowl on her face.

I bent down and picked up my towel, ignoring their jeers. I really wasn't in the mood at all. I rubbed the large cloth over my body, running it down my chest and to my stomach, collecting the moisture on my skin.

"Nice bikini bottoms, Cullen!" Black called out mockingly. The smirk on his face was palpable even from several yards away.

My eyes snapped to his, and I wanted nothing more than to walk up to him and give _him_ a black eye, but instead, I looked at Bella, who had lost her grimace and was now looking plain bored as she continued to look off into the distance somewhere. For a split second, her eyes flickered to mine, but just as quickly, she looked away again.

"Such a fucking loser…" one of them sneered as they passed by, heading towards the parking lot.

"Faggot!" another one yelled out.

I rolled my eyes and flared my nostrils. I was so sick of their constant bullying. They thought that anyone and everyone were afraid of them. Well, maybe most were, but I sure as _heck_ wasn't. What they said had no effect on me.

"Yeah, thanks for the black eye!" I yelled out to Black's retreating back, feeling bold.

"You're welcome!"

More chuckling sounded as they huddled together and walked further away. I realized then that whoever had just said that didn't sound like Black, and I didn't even see who said it.

_No…it had to have been Black…_

I furrowed my brow and groaned in agitation, throwing the towel over my bare shoulder as I made my way into the locker room.

After swim practice, instead of going straight home, I drove over to Tanya's house, which could actually be labeled as a mansion. It was definitely bigger than my house.

I felt like I really hadn't had time to talk to her at all today and I missed her. Even though we had a lot of the same classes together, the school work was hectic and we barely had a chance to even glance at one another.

I knocked on her front door a couple times and waited. The door opened and I was greeted by Tanya's mother. She was a tall, elegant woman with long light hair and sophisticated attire. If she and Tanya were to have walked down the street, people would've known instantly that they were related.

"Oh, hello, Edward," she greeted kindly, and smiled. "Looking for Tanya?"

"Yes, Mrs. Denali. Is she here?" I asked.

Mrs. Denali stepped aside and held the door open for me. "She's right upstairs with some friends from the tennis club, but feel free to go on up."

I nodded and made sure to wipe any residual dirt from the bottom of my shoes, and then walked in and up the stairs. As I got closer to her room, I could hear the muffled sounds of high pitched giggling growing louder. Her door was almost closed, but I could see Tanya and her two friends, Kate and Irina, walking around the room near her closet.

I had only met Kate and Irina a few times at some social dinners my parents and Tanya's parents attended. Every time I'd say even one word to them, they'd burst into giggles and whisper something to each other. It got to the point where I just stopped acknowledging them.

They began to talk, and I pressed my face close to the crack of the door as I listened intently.

"He's so perfect, Tanya…and _cute_! You're so lucky," I heard Kate muse.

I scowled. Were they talking about me?

"Yeah, you really got lucky. Rich guys our age are usually so…I don't know…_whorish_," Irina admitted.

"Yeah, exactly," Kate agreed. "Has he mentioned marriage yet?"

My eyes went wide. I wasn't sure what to think about it, but I knew I was beginning to get uncomfortable listening in on their conversation. I briefly contemplated walking back down the stairs.

"Marriage?" Tanya questioned hesitantly. "Well, we actually haven't talked about it…Should I bring it up to him?"

"You totally should," Kate urged.

"Oh, yeah. I mean…why wouldn't you? You've been dating since, like, forever…" Irina noted.

It was quiet for a moment, and I thought maybe they heard me and stopped talking, but then there was lots of shuffling around.

"You should definitely take that top with you," Irina suggested in a quieter, less enthused voice.

I raised an eyebrow. _Take?_

"That reminds me," Kate began. "Have you told him yet?"

"Umm…haven't had the chance…" Tanya said softly.

Feeling it was okay to make myself known now, I knocked on her door.

There was a moment of silence.

"Come in!" Tanya called out loudly.

I opened it and was instantly overwhelmed with gasps and giggling.

"Oh my God, Edward! What are you doing here?" Irina asked excitedly, beaming.

Tanya walked over to me with a small smile on her face and kissed my cheek. "Hey…I didn't know you were coming." She looked over at her friends, who were practically bouncing as they sat on her bed.

It was then that I noticed tons of her clothes splayed out on her bed as well as shopping bags and a large suitcase.

"Umm, yeah, sorry…" I said absentmindedly, eyeing everything on the bed.

"What happened to your face?" Kate questioned with a pout. Her fingers twitched, and I was positive she wanted to reach out to touch my face, which caused me to take a millimeter of a step back.

"Oh…uhh…" Tanya fumbled quickly, not looking at me. "Someone accidentally hit a squash ball into his eye. It should heal soon."

I arched an eyebrow at her blatant lie. I knew why I had lied about my eye earlier to Principal Banner, but why had she to her friends?

"Oh! You poor thing!" Irina wailed.

"That's just terrible!" Kate added a half a second after.

I ignored them and gazed at Tanya directly. "What's going on?" I asked.

Kate stood up and smiled. "Oh, we're helping her—" she began before being cut off by Tanya clearing her throat loudly. Kate looked at Tanya, who seemed irritated. "Oh." Kate sat back down on the bed dejectedly.

For a couple moments, it seemed like Tanya, Kate, and Irina were having silent conversations with only their eyes. I was just standing there, watching them with a confused and slightly concerned expression. I had absolutely no clue what was going on.

"Well." Irina stood. "I guess we better go."

Kate stood, too, and they both kissed Tanya on the cheek and said goodbye before leaving hastily. Kate gave me a bashful smile on her way out.

I scratched the back of my neck and walked over to her bed, picking up one of the tops laid out on top of her blanket. It was a black, beaded tank top that I'd never seen on her before. "So, why did you tell them I got hit with a squash ball?" I asked her.

Tanya grabbed the beaded top out of my hands. "I just didn't want to deal with the explanation and their questions," Tanya explained. She folded up the top and placed it into the suitcase.

I furrowed my brow. _Well, she's definitely going somewhere._ "Why are you packing?

She sighed. "Well," she said, exasperated, "I was hoping to tell you this later, but those two…" She groaned in place of her words and threw a hand up dismissively. "Anyway, the tennis club is sponsoring a trip for us to go to Italy for a week."

I wrinkled my nose. This didn't sound like something I would be looking forward to. One week away from Tanya? No way. "Okay…" was all I could say.

Tanya continued, "We're going to play tennis at some top notch academies up in the north of Italy, in Milan and Genoa." She placed a finger on her chin in thought. "I think we might even be going to Turin…"

Yeah, I definitely did _not _like this. She was going to places I'd barely even heard of before. But I wasn't going to say _no_. I wasn't her father or anything.

"When are you going?" I questioned, hoping this wasn't soon and maybe she'd forget all about the trip when the time came. I'd have to make sure of it.

She began clearing everything off her bed. "Uhhh," she began, "This Sunday."

"Th—This weekend?" I stuttered in shock "How is that possible? That's two days away!"

She turned away from me and moved her suitcase to the floor, still opened. "I've actually known about it for a while." She suddenly spun around to me with a worried, scared, and apologetic expression. "I'm so sorry! I've been meaning to tell you. I've wanted to! But things just…have gotten in the way."

I narrowed my eyes at her in suspicion. I'd seen her almost every day; there was no way that was accurate. "Like what?"

She threw up her hands and walked around to the other side of the bed. "I don't know, _Edward_," she said cynically. "Like you having detention, or you getting into brawls!"

I gasped in mortification. "I did not get into a brawl!" I yelled viciously, throwing my hands up in the air. Was she implying that all these things were my fault?

"Okay…" she said quieter, her eyes going wide. "Geez Louise, calm down. I'm just saying that when I've wanted to tell you, you've been a bit preoccupied. That's all."

Well, she was right, I suppose. Things had been a bit backwards lately for me. It was a shame she felt she couldn't tell me despite all that, though.

I looked down at her bed and reached to play absentmindedly with the corner of her pillow. "I don't want you to go…" I confessed softly.

She sighed and crawled onto the bed. She lay back and rested her head against the pillow. I sat on the mattress next to her and pivoted my torso to face her. I placed a hand on the other side of her body next to her waist and looked down into her light blue eyes.

"It's going to fly by quickly. You'll see," she assured, analyzing my face. She held up her finger and gave me a come hither gesture. I gave her a small smile and leaned down towards her, breathing in her citrusy, earthy scent caused by her shampoo, trying to memorize it. I captured her soft lips in a slow kiss, which she instantly responded to. She sighed against my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing me closer. My side was starting to hurt from the awkward angle, but also because of the bruises on my stomach, so I shifted so that I was hovering over her, my knees to the side of her body.

She broke the kiss and pulled away a bit. "Lie on top of me," she whispered, her warm breath blowing on my mouth.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yes."

I looked down between us as I positioned myself on top of her. I didn't want to crush her, so I placed most of my weight on my forearms that were lying flat by either side of her head. "Like this?" I asked, making sure.

She smiled up at me, nodded, and leaned up to place a light kiss on my neck. It felt nice, so I sighed in pleasure. She continued placing short but sweet kisses along my neck and down to my collarbone. I felt her tongue slide out and lick the hollow of my throat, eliciting a small throaty moan from me. I placed my hand on her shoulder and slowly dragged it down to brush lightly against the curve of her breast. I wanted to touch her breasts, like I had once before, but I wanted to ask permission first, just in case she didn't want me to.

"Can I?" I asked.

She held onto my neck tighter. "Yes."

With that, I inched my fingers further and further across her breast. She shivered and closed her eyes, releasing a breath she had been holding. When I reached her peak, it was already hardened, and I could feel the defined ridges through her shirt. I placed my hand entirely over her breast and squeezed lightly, which emitted a breathy moan from her that didn't go unnoticed by my stiffening length. I began to grope and fondle a bit harder. Though this was nice, I had a sudden need to try something new. I wasn't sure how she'd take it, but I decided to risk it, and if she'd let me, then it would be a new step in our relationship.

I trailed my hands down her chest, and down to her flat stomach, my fingertips coming into contact with the waistband of her jeans. I was just about to ask for permission to slip my fingers underneath, when her thighs suddenly separated. My legs fell between hers, our hips coming into direct contact, which caused my eyes to grow wide. Losing access to her, I moved my hand to her waist and held on tightly. My erection was beginning to become more prominent, and I became nervous. I didn't want her to get scared. I mean, it wasn't like she hadn't seen an erection in my pants before, but this was the first time that I had it pressed against her…down there…

Her legs wrapped around my waist tightly and she began to rock shamelessly into me. I let out a strangled moan as her pace quickened. It was beginning to feel good…too good…and I knew we had to stop before it got out of hand. And by out of hand, I meant embarrassing myself by getting us into an uncontrolled, sticky situation.

"What are you doing?" I whispered hoarsely.

Her answer was in the form of running her hands along the sides of my waist and down towards my…

_Whoa!_

I quickly shifted off her and composed myself, trying to catch my breath.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a worried expression, and sat up on her elbows.

"Things were getting a bit…" I trailed off, unable to find the right words.

"Did you not like it?" she questioned, looking dejected.

I frowned and lay next to her, taking her in my arms. "No, that's not it. I was probably enjoying it a bit _too_ much," I assured. "I just know that we want to stick to our plan of waiting till college, and with you…doing things like that…I don't know if I can wait."

She sighed and pulled out of my arms to lean over me, her curls cascading around my face. "Then, let's not wait."

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

She leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth. "I want you," –she kissed the other corner of my mouth— "now." Her lips found mine again and pressed down firmly.

"Mmm…" I hummed against her mouth and pulled away. "Wait. I—We…" I was having trouble stringing words together. There was nothing more I wanted than to give myself to her, but I also knew the promise we made to each other, and I had to honor that for both our sakes. "We can't." I maneuvered myself off the bed and stood.

She sat up against the headboard and drew her knees up to her chest. She looked down at her kneecaps sadly.

I walked closer and grabbed a lock of her hair, rubbing the curl between my fingers. "I'm sorry…"

She nodded and dropped her knees. "It's fine. I guess you're right, anyway." She crawled off the bed and placed her suitcase back over the covers. "I better get back to packing."

I could tell she was pretending to be okay with it. "I really am sorry—"

"Edward!" she exclaimed, laughing without humor. "It's fine…really. Just…" She looked down and folded up more clothes. "I really need to get back to packing if I'm leaving in a couple days." She walked over to her dresser and started grabbing things. "I'll just talk to you later."

I sighed_. I guess that means I need to go. _

Tanya had never been good at hiding her feelings, but I also knew when she wanted to be left alone.

"Alright. I'll call you later," I said glumly.

She nodded half-heartedly and continued packing.

When I walked out, I made sure to close the door behind me.

X-X-X-X

All night, I managed to avoid my parents, some how. I went straight home and up to my room. I told Jasper I wasn't feeling well and was just going to study, and, of course, he told my parents that. They pretty much left me alone the entire night, which was good because if either of them saw my black eye, they would've blown a gasket. My mother would've been worried and want to tend to it, and my father would've gotten angry at how careless I was and he would want to know if a teacher saw. So, avoiding them was my only option for my sanity.

I made sure to set my alarm earlier than usual and quietly slipped out of the house undetected. When I got to school, I parked in my usual spot and studied in my car until my friends pulled up next to me.

I noticed that Tanya wasn't with any of them when they approached me. "Hey, where's Tanya?"

Alice leaned against Emmett's jeep. "Her mom thought she should take the day off today and spend time with her," she said. "Didn't she tell you?"

Tanya and I hadn't talked after I left her house the day before. I wanted to call, but for some reason I didn't feel up to it. I also felt like maybe she didn't want me to, anyway. Though, now, I did feel sad that we didn't talk and that I wouldn't get to see her until after school.

"Not really," I told her as we began walking to our homerooms.

The first half of school passed by with nothing remotely interesting to recap. I tried to do my work, stop Emmett from copying off me, and get to my classes on time. It was pretty average and things seemed to be back to normal, which was a relief.

By lunch, I was ready to relax, so I quickly got my food and made my way over to my table where my friends already were. They were laughing enthusiastically about something, and when I got there, they instantly got quiet and glanced at me a couple times.

Could they have been more obvious?

"Well, if it isn't the Black Eyed Pea," Rosalie quipped with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and set my bag down on the floor next to the empty chair I was going to sit in.

They suddenly looked at each other, their mouths pressed into thin lines as if they were forcefully trying to keep their mouths closed, and then began laughing again uncontrollably.

I grew angry and looked at Emmett. The only reason they'd be laughing is if that goon had told them about me transferring into Cooking. Though, I expected no less from him, especially because he was the type of guy to just say what was on his mind whenever he felt like it, consequences be damned.

"Alright," I said, slamming my tray of food down on the table. "I'm guessing Emmett told you about the cooking."

They stopped laughing and looked up at me in confusion.

"Cooking class," I verified. And that was when I should've stopped. "That I'm taking…" But I didn't. I looked at their increasingly bewildered faces, "…cooking…class…" I finally realized that they had no idea what I was talking about.

Rosalie let out a very long and unattractive snort, and then burst out into loud guffaws. Everyone else joined in immediately.

I looked to Emmett who had a smirk on his face. "You didn't tell them?" I questioned. I was sure he did.

He rolled his eyes. "No, and I'm glad I didn't. This was much more awesome."

I groaned and sat down, stabbing my Jello with my fork.

"So, why _are_ you taking Cooking?" Jasper asked, throwing an arm around Alice's small shoulder.

I shrugged, and instantly felt insecure without Tanya here. "I guess Principal Banner felt like I should utilize my spare period for an elective. So, I switched out of Gym for something that would look good on my transcript," I explained. "Philosophy was full for now, so he suggested Cooking for the time being."

"I honestly didn't even know we had a cooking class," Emmett remarked.

_That's what I thought! _

I nodded. "Well, apparently we do have one. I hate it, but what can I do?"

"You can bake me a pie, if you'd like," Rosalie suggested with a big smug smile. "I like blueberry. Thanks."

I gave her a cynical look and said, "Oh yeah, no problem. I'll make my special spit blueberry pie."

Emmett laughed. "Whoa! Cooking is making Ed feisty. You need to cook more often."

I rolled my eyes and stabbed my Jello again. It had a lot of stab marks already and I wasn't sure how many times during the conversation I unconsciously tried to kill it.

I wondered…if they hadn't been amused by my change in schedule, then why had they been laughing?

"So, then…what was so funny when I walked over here?" I asked, looking at all of them.

Alice giggled a bit, but then saw my annoyed expression and stopped. "There's a rumor going around that you got beat up by a girl," Alice revealed.

"What?" I exclaimed in horror, shock, and disgust.

_Wait…Was it a girl? _

I thought hard, trying to remember. Black combat boots…manly voice.

_NO! It couldn't have been. I distinctly heard a guy's voice telling me to stay away from Bella. _

"That's just what I heard," Alice clarified, eating her salad.

"Well…you heard wrong," I said. "Whoever it was had black combat boots. Would a woman really wear black combat boots?" _And have a man's voice?_

I wasn't going to tell them that I knew for sure that it was a guy based on their voice, because then that would reveal what he had said about Bella. And, of course, that would have begged the question as to why he had said that, and then a whole discussion would've been started about why I had been talking to Bella Swan, and followed her, and somehow managed to get into the same class as her…

_Jesus…_

"I thought you said you didn't see who attacked you," Jasper remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"I didn't," I said, jolted from my thoughts. "I just saw the bottom of their legs and their shoes."

"Though, I bet a girl could take you," Rose declared.

I laughed at how preposterous that was. "Uhh, yeah right." I looked away as I rolled my eyes, and my sight landed on the table that the La Push guys and Bella usually sat at. Neither they nor she were currently there. I could care less where any of them were, but didn't Bella have Cooking with me next?

I looked at my watch and saw that the bell would ring in five minutes. I wasn't too fond of letting people see me go up to the class, so I decided it would be better for me to arrive earlier and avoid any sort of embarrassment.

I packed up my stuff and stood.

"Where are you going?" Emmett asked, looking up at me from his seat.

"Class," I told him, and gathered my lunch tray to throw in the trash.

"Don't forget my pie!" Rose called out as I walked away, ready to face my second day of torture head on.

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**A/N: **

**How many of you thought blindly that it was Jacob who punched him? *raises hand* ALL OF YOU! It still could be him...if Edward isn't sure, then we sure aren't. :-)  
**

**We know where he's headed. What do you think will happen?**

**Next update will most likely be next Thursday, but if I get a good amount of reviews, I might post earlier. ;-) Please don't be shy. Review!**

**Oh, and you're welcome to follow me on twitter for updates and teasers: xrxdanixrx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **

**I had a reviewer complain that my chapters were too short. It's still early in this story and I really don't think that having 7,000 word chapters are necessary. I already write 4,000-5,000 words roughly per chapter. That's more than enough for now, I think. But if anyone is upset with the progress of this story, I'll clarify now, that nothing is going to be solved in one chapter. It's going to be a while. That doesn't mean things won't pick up fairly quickly, because it will, but there's a lot of ground to cover along the way. In my opinion, this story has barely even started. Okay, enough of my blubbering. **

**Thanks to the lovely Dinx for filling in as beta at the last minute, my pre-readers Irish_Sidheseer, AngelStardust, and my newest pre-reader Renas40 who is wicked awesome with her attention to detail. **

**Also, my pre-reader, Jenn, created a thread over at twilighted for this story. If you want to discuss it, feel free to stop by there. The link is on my profile.

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When I got to the classroom, it was closed, and I wasn't sure if Mrs. Cope was already in there or if she'd let me in before the bell rang. Either way, I knocked and waited. The door opened a few seconds later.

"Mr. Cullen," Mrs. Cope greeted with a smile. "Come in. You're early."

I moved past her and made my way inside the empty classroom. But when I looked at the back towards the counter, I saw Bella Swan standing there, staring straight at me with a blank expression. I had to prevent my eyes from growing wide when I saw her appearance. She had her black hair tied back in a high ponytail and she was wearing a pastel yellow apron over her standard black on black attire. My eyes zeroed in on her chest when I noticed that there was a side profile portrait of Snoopy on it. I tore my eyes away as quickly as I could.

Mrs. Cope must've caught me staring because she chuckled immediately. "Oh, yes. Miss Swan is wearing an apron because we're starting an actual meal lesson today." She went over to her desk and opened a drawer, pulling out a clean white apron. "Why don't you wear this for the time being," she suggested and held it out to me expectantly. After analyzing it with reluctance for a few seconds, I took it.

On the way to my desk, I snuck a glance back at Bella and saw her leaning over the counter, her elbows resting on the surface. She appeared bored, as if she didn't even want to be here. So, then, why was she? It wasn't as if she bothered going to any of her other classes, anyway.

I set my bag down and took the opportunity to take in her appearance again.

Bella Swan in an apron?

A _Snoopy_ apron?

_This_ was the Bella Swan most people were intimidated by? I smirked to myself and shook my head. Honestly, at the moment, she didn't look like she could hurt a fly. I wondered if half of the rumors that went around about her were even real. Maybe all of them were completely fabricated.

"Mr. Cullen," Mrs. Cope called.

I broke my gaze at Bella and looked over my shoulder at Mrs. Cope.

"Take a spot in the back. We'll be cooking chicken today," she urged. "And make sure you put on that apron."

I sighed and groaned softly. The last thing I wanted to wear was an _apron_. If any of my friends saw me in this, they'd make fun of me for the rest of my life. I threw the apron over my neck and tried as best as I could to tie it in the back. It took me a few tries because, honestly, how could someone tie something when they couldn't see what they were tying?

I finally got it and went to the counter in the back. Bella was still leaning over the counter with a bored expression, her cheek on her fist. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to stand. Bella was all the way at the end, and I didn't want to be there next to her.

"Just stand next to Miss Swan, Mr. Cullen," Mrs. Cope ordered from the front of the class.

Bella stiffened and stood up straight, but refused to look at me at all. Reluctantly, I walked over to the spot next to her at the counter. She turned her head away and glared at the wall, for whatever reason. I looked at the wall, too, just to see why she was looking there, but couldn't see anything that could've caught her attention, so I turned my head to look straight to the front of the classroom.

Apparently, the bell had rung a while ago and I hadn't even noticed because a flock of girls entered the classroom and made their way to the back with their feminine colored, flower print aprons on.

_Oh God…it's like the Stepford Wives_.

A lot of them giggled as they came closer to me, and I was pretty sure a few of them were arguing to see who would get to stand next to me at the counter.

When class officially started, Mrs. Cope told us we'd be making Chicken Parmesan. My mother made a _really_ good Chicken Parmesan.

_If only she could do this for me and I could…not be here. _

I was doing everything Mrs. Cope was instructing us to do, but when she had said "Dip the breast in milk," I got lost. Well…maybe she had said "Dip the _chicken_ breast in milk _and eggs_," but my brain was playing tricks on me because I was bored out of my mind.

_Just a couple of months, Edward. _

With that mantra in mind, I continued my sorry excuse of a chicken breast, which somehow ended up looking like it was drowning and dying in tomato sauce.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noted Bella's progress. She was slicing mozzarella effortlessly, placing them delicately on both sides of the chicken. I noticed that while she added spaghetti sauce to the dish, she seemed completely relaxed. Her trademark scowl that she usually threw at me was no longer there. Her face was completely void of any malice or cynicism. She looked almost peaceful…not as much on edge. She grated a bit of Parmesan cheese and sprinkled it on top of the chicken.

I instantly became envious. Hers looked…somewhat professional, while mine looked like World War III had hit. I knew Mrs. Cope would probably give me a bad grade if she saw this mess…unless…perhaps Bella could help me out. What would it hurt?

I turned to her and cleared my throat. I wasn't just preparing myself to speak, but I was also trying to get her attention. She didn't even acknowledge me as she placed the chicken into the oven. I decided speaking directly to her was my only option.

"Hi," I said to her.

I wasn't sure if she heard me because she began cleaning up the mess she made, which wasn't much at all.

I inhaled and tried again. "Hi, uhhh…" Was I allowed to say her name? I didn't think I even called her by her name ever when we'd talked. Most of the time I just called her Bella Swan if I discussed her with my friends, which was rarely. I tried never to participate in those discussions. Wasn't calling someone by their first and last name how most people addressed them if they didn't know them personally? I mean, people didn't call Brad Pitt "Brad," right? But I couldn't very well just call her by her full name. That would be awkward. "Hey." I decided that would do for now until I figured out what to call her.

She stopped what she was doing, but still didn't turn her head towards me. I looked at the side of her profile. Her nose was unusual. Rather than having a straight nose like most people, hers sort of curved up at the end. It didn't look bad or anything, it actually suited her, but it was just…different.

_Wait…what was I going to ask her? _

"Uhhh…" I fumbled, trying to remember what I was going to say, but nothing was coming to mind. I scratched the back of my neck as I tried to rack my brain for the question I was going to ask her that now eluded me.

In the meantime, she must've gotten fed up of waiting for me because she turned her back. I watched closely as she went to the sink and switched on the water. She ran her hands under the faucet, the water washing away all the bread crumbs and ingredients that had managed to collect on her hands. She turned off the water and grabbed a towel, drying her hands in silence. When she turned back around, she briefly looked down at my dish, which elicited a frown from her, and then she looked away again.

I looked down at my chicken to see why she had made a face, when I saw the destruction I had made.

_OH! Now I remember…_

"Hey," I started again. That was definitely a decent substitute for her name. "Do you think you can—"

"Look," she snapped in a low voice, turning swiftly as her feral eyes pierced straight through me. A shiver ran up my spine at the unexpected tone in her voice. "I'm not here to talk, okay? Just cook your fucking pathetic chicken and leave me the fuck alone." With that, she stalked over to her oven and peered into it.

I glared at her back, my mouth slightly parted. I wasn't sure why I had entertained the thought that I could approach her when she was still the same Bella Swan from before. The Bella Swan who sent me murderous looks for buying her fruit, the Bella Swan who gave me second hand smoke and nearly destroyed my lungs, the Bella Swan who got me in trouble and landed me in detention. This _cooking_ Bella Swan was no different! Even with her stupid Snoopy apron, pulled back hair, and turned up nose. All of it still made her the same stubborn, unrefined girl that didn't care about anyone but herself.

I turned back to my chicken and tried to scoop some sauce out, even though it was pretty much ruined. I placed it in my oven, and busied myself with cleaning up my mess until it finish. For the remainder of the class, I didn't dare chance a glance back at her, but at one point, I had to pass by her to get to my oven. She hadn't moved from her spot in front of her oven since the last time I saw her there.

Before class ended, Mrs. Cope came by to inspect our dishes. She said that I did a nice job, and I wasn't sure why. My Chicken Parmesan looked horrible! I was actually slightly ashamed, but for whatever reason, Mrs. Cope didn't acknowledge its horrendous state. When she reached Bella's, her face lit up.

"Oh, wonderful, Bella! You did such a marvelous job," Mrs. Cope gushed, taking a taste of her chicken.

Bella gave her a small smile and quickly looked down.

Did she just…smile? I had _never_ seen her smile. Why didn't she do that more often? For a brief moment, she had almost looked liked an entirely different person. Not the tough Bella Swan, but some sort of nice, pleasant Bella Swan that I didn't think existed, and perhaps didn't. Maybe it was just a fluke and I had imagined it. Yep, that had to be it.

The bell rang and I couldn't have taken my apron off fast enough. I darted to my bag, grabbed it, and walked over to the door. I was beat by Bella who practically flew out the classroom, her apron gone and her hair back down over her shoulders. Her speed picked up as she walked down the hall, and for some reason, I found myself following her faster to keep up. She turned a corner and sped down the stairs. I raced down after her, but was suddenly stopped on the first floor; something prevented me from moving forward.

"Hey, Ed, what's up?"

Continuing to watch Bella, I saw her take out a pack of cigarettes from her bag and open the door to the parking lot as she exited the building.

"Ed, I'm talking to you."

"Huh?" I voiced in confusion when I finally tore my eyes away. Emmett stood in front of me and had his hand flat on my chest. I looked down and stared at it. "Why are you touching me?" And where had he even come from?

He yanked his hand away in embarrassment. "Oops. Sorry," he uttered. "You looked possessed, though."

I cocked my head to the side. "Possessed?" I was pretty sure I appeared normal.

"Yeah, coming down the stairs. You weren't, like, blinking at all or anything."

I knitted my eyebrows together.

"Who knows?" he added. "Maybe it was because of your eye. Though, the swelling seems to have gone down."

Shrugging it off, I walked with him to our next class.

X-X-X-X

When I got home from school later that day, I dropped my bag at the door and went into the kitchen to get a snack. Opening the fridge, I peered in, but there was nothing that that looked remotely appetizing at the moment. I scrunched up my nose when I saw Jasper's blueberry yogurts sitting on the top shelf.

Light footsteps suddenly sounded through the kitchen. "Hi, dear," I heard my mother say as I continued to stick my head in the fridge. "What are you looking for? Do you want me to make you something?"

"No, I'm good," I told her, not wanting her to be bothered.

Fed up of looking, I decided to take one of Jasper's yogurts, since that seemed like the quickest thing to eat. He'd probably have a cow later, but I didn't care. I peeled the cover back and threw it in the trash, making sure to grab a spoon out of the drawer on the way.

"Can you pick up your bag and take it to your room," my mother asked.

"Yep," I replied.

I turned around to exit the kitchen and saw my mom sitting at the kitchen table with her head down, reading a magazine. When I passed her, she lifted her head to meet my eyes. I gave her a quick smile, but that soon faded when she suddenly gasped and stood up, her seat falling back against the hardwood floor.

I froze and looked at her in surprise. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She was staring at me in horror, her eyes wide. "Carlisle!" she yelled out.

I looked around me, wondering why she was calling Dad.

"Carlisle!" she called out again louder, panic evident in her voice.

My father suddenly burst through the kitchen, his loud footsteps echoing through the house. "Esme, what is it?" he asked her, concerned. He walked up to her and grabbed her hands, completely bypassing me along the way without so much as a glance.

My mom pointed to me in silence, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. My father turned to me and furrowed his brow. I was so beyond confused as to what was going on. They were both acting strange.

My dad walked closer to me. "What did you _do_, Edward?" he asked. His tone was accusing, but I was used to that by now.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He eyed me for a long minute and then walked out of the kitchen. "Come with me, Edward," he called out.

I watched as my mother sprinted to the refrigerator and opened it.

_What is going on?! _

"Now, Edward!" my dad ordered.

I instantly reacted to his voice by following it, leading me to his den. The office was mostly dark with a small lamp on his desk dimly illuminating it, causing large, ominous shadows to tower over me on the walls. The room was completely filled with various types of clocks. My dad was a huge collector of every kind of clock; antique, modern, etc. He just liked them. The sounds of the incessant ticking filled the large space. I half wondered how he could stand the noise.

Dad opened a few drawers at his desk and pulled out some of his medical supplies. He picked up some sort of cream and opened it.

"Sit on the couch," he demanded.

I did as he told me and backed up to sit on his black, leather couch. He walked over to me, yanked the yogurt out of my hands, and placed it on his desk.

"I don't like food in here, you know that," he stated angrily. "When did you get that?"

I pursed my lips and shrugged. "I got it just five minutes ago from the fridge—"

He cut me off. "Not the yogurt, Edward!" he yelled, annoyed. "Your black eye."

My mouth fell open and my hand flew up to my eye, as if it would've been possible to shield it from him.

My mother suddenly ran in with a frozen steak in one hand and a bag of peas in the other. "I didn't know which was better," she said, looking stressed.

I was absolutely mortified. I had completely forgotten about my eye! The pain had fully subsided and I could barely feel it now. I didn't even think to hide it from them again like I had done yesterday.

My dad analyzed my eye closer. "The swelling isn't too bad, neither is necessary." My mother gave me a worried look and vanished from the den. Dad opened the cream and began applying it to my eye. "Are you experiencing any pain?" he asked in his doctor tone.

I shook my head.

"Don't move your head, please," he scolded. When he was done, he put the cap back on the cream and placed it back in his medicine bag. "The bruising isn't too bad. How long have you had this?"

If I told him the truth, he'd know I tried to keep it from him. "Just today," I lied.

He shook his head and sighed, leaning against his desk. "Edward, I am thoroughly disappointed in you," he started. "I can't even begin to tell you how shocked I am right now."

Wait. Did he think that I got the black eye on purpose? That it was _my_ fault? "Dad, it wasn't my—"

He put up a hand to silence me. "Edward, I didn't say you could speak. You sit there and you listen to me," he commanded. "Getting into a physical fight is _very _reckless of you. A teacher could've seen you!"

_Oh, here we go…_

He continued, "I'm not even sure how to handle this because I never even expected that my own _flesh and blood_ would ever do something as incredibly irresponsible as getting into a physical fight."

Rage brewed inside of me, and I wanted to scream. If he would just let me talk, he would know that the fight wasn't my fault, that it wasn't even a fight because I had just _let_ myself be attacked from God knows who. He would know what a pathetic pansy I was for allowing myself to be practically mauled…

Is this how he wanted me to be?

"You're grounded," he said and packed up his medicine bag.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

Grounded?! I'd never been grounded before. That wasn't me. How could he ground me when he wouldn't even let me explain?

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at me. "You are to go to school and back, you are not to see or talk to any of your friends after school, and you will make sure to do your homework as _soon_ as you get home, and then you will study and go to bed," he said. "Is that clear?"

I allowed my mouth to fall open. This was practically a death sentence! I couldn't see or talk to my friends after school? What about Tanya? She was leaving soon and I needed to see her! "But Dad!" I whined.

"No buts, Edward!" my dad yelled. "This is barbaric behavior." He made a disgusted face, looking at me as if he were ashamed by my supposed actions. "You will do as I tell you and learn your lesson."

Learn my lesson? He had absolutely _no_ idea what on earth he was talking about. Why wouldn't he just let me talk instead of assuming the worst? Did he have to always be so damn shrill all the time? Well, if he refused to listen to me, then I didn't need to be here anymore.

I stood up and stormed out of his den, not bothering to look back at him. My mother was standing outside the office. She had obviously been listening. She gave me a remorseful look as I passed her.

"Edward!" my dad called out. "I'm not done speaking to you!"

I took the stairs two at a time and barged into my room, slamming the door hard behind me. I fell down on my bed face first, my legs and feet dangling off the side. I could hear my mother and father arguing loudly downstairs, obviously about me. I grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and shoved it over my head, muffling out the sounds.

I already knew what was most likely being said. My father was probably saying what an awful son I was and an embarrassment to him and that he wished Jasper was his son instead of me. Then, my mom was probably telling him to pay more attention to me and be nicer.

The end.

There was a knock on my door. I moved the pillow a bit from my ears and could still hear my parents arguing downstairs, which meant it was Jasper at my door.

_GO. AWAY._

His presence only infuriated me more. I wanted him gone. I didn't want to see him at _all _right now.

I didn't bother removing the pillow from my head or even looking up to see him.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked, innocent as usual. "Why is there a screaming match downstairs?"

_Are you stupid or something? Can you not hear what they're yelling about?_

_Idiot._

I remained motionless. I heard the door click and then scuffling around my room.

"Are you going to talk to me and tell me what's going on?" he asked.

_Uhhh, not likely. _

The bed suddenly compressed and I felt him sit next to where I was lying.

"I'm here, you know. If you want to talk," he offered.

_Gee, thanks. _

Did he always have to be annoying and hang around when he wasn't wanted? I just wanted him to go! "Honestly, Jasper," I said, raising my head to speak. "Can you just go? I really don't want to talk to anyone right now."

I could hear him breathing for a few seconds. "Oh," he said quietly. "Yeah." He got up, the bed creaking as he stood. "I'll be in my room if you want to talk later…or something."

After a moment, I listened as the door opened and shut. I didn't want any more unwanted visits, so I got off the bed and locked my door. The only person I really wanted to see was going away in a day to some far away country where I wouldn't be able to talk to her. But apparently, I was _grounded_, so even if she were to stay, I couldn't talk to her, anyway.

Later that night, the house was quiet and everyone had gone to bed. No one had disturbed me at all, and I was partly grateful. Though, I was surprised my mother hadn't bothered to bring me food or anything. Even so, my head was so full of thoughts, that I couldn't bring myself to be hungry.

Looking at the time on my night stand, it was roughly ten o' clock, and I figured no one would be able to hear me, so I took out my cell phone and dialed Tanya. I had to hear her voice if I couldn't see her. Luckily, she picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, sweetie," she greeted.

"Hey. Were you asleep or something?" I asked.

"No, just getting into bed now, why?"

I shrugged, as if she could see me. "No reason. How's the packing?"

"Good. All done. Are you coming over tomorrow? I was thinking we could go to Port Angeles for the day."

I frowned, knowing that I wouldn't be able to see her. I wished I could. "Uhh…I actually…can't."

"What?" she questioned. "Why not?"

"I'm sort of grounded," I mumbled.

"_Grounded_?" She sighed in defeat. "See, this is what I mean about things getting in the way lately. What is going on with you these days?"

"What—" I began to say in shock, but cut myself off. Did she think this was my fault, too? Why was everyone so hell bent on thinking I was always the one to blame? Either way, I was way too over all of this to even question why she'd say that my unexpected problems were getting in the way. "You know what, Tanya? You don't even know what happened, and you sound just like my father when he blames me without hearing my side of things. So, I'm done trying to explain things to everyone." I wanted to get off the phone now. It was clearly a mistake to have called. "Goodnight, Tanya."

I pulled the phone away from my ear and was just about to end the call, when I heard her say, "Wait, Edward!"

I sighed and brought the phone back up to my ear. "What?" I asked, feeling emotionally drained.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want to go off to Italy on _that_ note. How about we just not talk about it?"

She was right, I didn't want us to leave things so negative, but at the same time, I was still frustrated that I couldn't catch a break. "Yeah, that's fine," I agreed. "Are you excited?" Even though I asked the question, I wasn't too interested in whether she was excited or not, for some reason. Normally, I would be, but right now, I was far from it.

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited. It's gonna be great. Kate and Irina are excited, too. I think we're going to have a lot of fun."

"Great," I muttered.

A few moments passed where we didn't say anything. I felt my eyes grow heavy, and knew that I'd probably need to go to sleep soon.

I began to hear rustling on her end of the phone, until she spoke. "Well…I guess I better go," she said. "I know we probably won't be able to see each other tomorrow, so I'll just say now that I'll miss you…a lot."

I rubbed my eyes, trying to stay awake for a couple more minutes. "Yeah, me too, Tanya."

"I really hope things will get better for you while I'm gone. And hopefully, when I come back, you won't be grounded anymore so that I can see you as soon as I get off the plane."

I chuckled sleepily. "Yeah, okay."

"Alright. Well, goodnight, and see you in a week or so."

"Okay. Night," I mumbled.

I ended the call and let the phone slip from my hands, landing near my shoulder on the bed. Within seconds, sleep took over, and I found myself fully relaxed in a place where I was accepted for who I was rather than who I could be.

X-X-X-X

Monday finally rolled around. It seemed like it took forever, considering I was locked in my room the entire weekend. Tanya had left town and I knew I had to face the school week without her. I hadn't had to do that since junior year when her parents dragged her along on one of their business trips to some Asian country. And I thought _that_ had been a long week. It was only the first day and I was completely bored out of my mind.

My morning classes had been less than eventful, and I had to try very hard not to let myself drift off to sleep. Even Cooking was agonizing. Bella hadn't shown up to class, for some reason. Not that I cared. And not that that was actually unusual, considering she skipped all her other classes. In fact, I'd say that was very _usual_ of her.

The last bell rang and school ended. I went over to my locker to take out the textbooks I needed for the night to do my homework. Mostly everyone had left and I shut my locker, prepared to walk out to the parking lot.

As I was heading towards the double doors, I heard the distant sound of lockers slam and someone groaning in pain. Curiosity got the better of me, so I rounded the corner to a separate hallway, and saw Black holding a young boy by his shirt up against a locker. The boy couldn't have been older than fourteen, and I had a strong urge to go over there and drag him away from Black. The kid appeared terrified as Black's face got near his.

"What the fuck do you know?" Black asked the kid, his voice hard and severe.

I quickly moved back behind the wall so that they couldn't see me. I wanted to hear what Black was saying.

"I swear!" the young boy squeaked. "I don't know anything!"

I heard the boy get slammed against the lockers and he cried out in pain. I peeked back over the wall, just to see if he had hit the boy.

"Well, where the fucking hell did you hear that from, then?" Black barked, right in the kid's face.

"I don't know!" the boy wailed, his eyes screwing up at the close contact of Black's face.

Black fisted the kid's shirt tightly and lifted him off the ground, then hovered him over a trashcan that was nearby. "You gonna fucking tell me now?"

"Alright, alright!" the kid cried, relenting as his legs kicked frantically in the air. "I heard Mike Newton talking about it with some of his friends yesterday." He cried more. "Please put me down!"

Black suddenly dropped the boy into the trash can, causing the can to topple over with him still in it. All the trash that was in there flowed out. The boy moaned.

Black kicked the trashcan while the boy was still in it. "Next time I hear Bella's name come out of your fucking mouth, I won't be as nice and throw you in a fucking trashcan. I'll fucking beat the shit out of you. Got that?"

The kid looked up at Black in fear and nodded feverishly. Black took a few steps back, glaring at him, and then disappeared down the opposite end of the hallway.

When I knew Black had fully gone, I walked over to the kid who was trying to pick himself off the floor, but failing miserably because he was still stuck in the trashcan.

"Hey kid, you okay?" I asked him.

He looked up and scowled at me. "I'm fine," he grumbled.

"What's your name?" I questioned.

He tried again to get out of the trashcan, flipping on his hands and knees. "Alec," he muttered.

I picked up the trashcan as he got out. He stood and brushed off his jeans, making sure no trash had stuck to him.

Remembering what Black had said, my guess was that Alec had said or done something that he didn't like. Black had mentioned that Alec said Bella's name, which obviously made him mad. Was that unusual? No. That guy seemed to hate it when anyone even _breathed_ near Bella. So, then, why did he ask Alec what he knew? And what about?

"What did Jacob Black mean when he asked you where you heard it from? Heard what, exactly?" I asked Alec as he picked up his bag off the floor.

Alec froze and narrowed his eyes at me. "Did he send you to ask me?"

I furrowed my brow. "What? No…? I just want to know."

He shoved his arms through the straps of his backpack and began walking quickly. "Well, I don't want anymore trouble! Just leave me alone!" he yelled.

I walked after him, trying to keep up. "What did Mike Newton say that you over heard?" I asked, not caring that he was trying to get away from me.

He walked even faster, almost turning into a run. "I said leave me alone!"

I grabbed his arm so he'd stop walking. "Hey!" I shouted forcefully, the echo bouncing off the lockers. Alec tensed immediately and stilled. He looked at me with fear in his eyes, the same way he'd looked at Black, and I wasn't sure why.

"Please don't hurt me," he sputtered frantically, panicking. "I—I'll tell you." He looked down at where I was grabbing his arm. I followed his eyes, and realized I was grasping onto it a bit too tightly. I immediately slackened my grip and released my hold. Alec didn't relax after that, though. "I heard Mike Newton talking with some friends at his locker. He told them that he was in Port Angeles and saw Bella Swan arguing with a cop at a bar there. She threw a punch at him and she got arrested."

Could that have been true? If it _were_ true, then that would explain why she hadn't even showed up to class today. I used to think the rumors about her were all made up, but with the behavior I'd seen from her in the last few days, I wouldn't have put anything past her now.

Alec took a couple steps back. "I swear; that's all I know!" He quickly ran off down the hall and out of sight, leaving me with my thoughts.

Mike Newton wasn't exactly the poster boy for telling the truth. Last year, he had skipped homecoming and told everyone that he decided to bail because he had a date with some celebrity from a movie called _Juno_. It turned out that he actually had mono and stayed in while his mom took care of him.

But, even though Mike was a big liar most of the time, Bella was still a headache. I wasn't sure who or what to believe. Bella had never been anything but rude to me, but there was still a part of me that wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Though, perhaps it was the good-natured side of me, I wasn't sure.

Realizing I was still standing in the middle of the hallway, I made my way to the double doors leading to the parking lot, my head whirling with unanswered questions.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Farewell Tanya; hello confusion. That would've been a cool chapter title. Too bad I'm evil and not doing chapter titles for this story. **

**You guys are really hating on Carlisle. Some of you are even saying that he's the most hateable Carlisle you've ever read? I may beg to differ. I've read a couple bad Carlisle's that's made me cringe. Oh and btw, to those that asked, Jasper is not retarded. Lmao. He's a nice guy who's getting the brunt of Edward's bad moods. **

**If you'd like to see what Bella's lighter and her cooking apron look like, the links are on my profile.  
**

**Thanks for reading, and please review. I'm trying to reply to all of them, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask, and if it's not too much of a spoiler, I'll throw you a bone or two. **

**Follow me on twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **

**Thanks to my pre-readers Irish-Sidheseer, Renas40, and AngelStardust for pre-reading this. They helped me so much with shaping this chapter, so I owe them a lot. **

* * *

I walked through the front door of my house and set my bag down. I placed my keys on a spare hook of the key rack and went into the kitchen. Since I was "grounded," I knew I had to eat something quickly and then go to my room to do my homework.

The house was eerily quiet as I grabbed a peach from the decorative fruit bowl sitting on the counter. As I took a bite into the sweet, soft flesh of the fruit, I wondered briefly if Jasper had made it home, but then remembered he said he was going bowling with Emmett, Rose, and Alice. Because I was grounded, I couldn't go with them, even though I wanted to.

Wandering out into the living room, my eyes glanced over everything my mom had bought for the house. She liked creamy, warm colors, so our living room pretty much resembled a Crème Saver candy. I looked at the big, flat screen television hanging on the wall and saw my reflection through the black plasma. I didn't quite look like a roughed up hockey player anymore, which was good. My bruised eye was beginning to heal now, thank goodness.

I bent down to look at the DVDs we had on the shelf near the television. It was divided into sections: my DVDs, Jasper's DVDs, and my mother's, which were a bunch of girly movies based on Jane Austen novels. My father didn't have or watch any films, so he didn't have a section…well, unless you counted the few health clinic DVDs he had obtained, which were stowed away in his den.

If anything, I took pride in my collection, making sure that it was perfectly lined up and alphabetized by title. I was a bit of a movieholic and enjoyed times when I could sit back and relax with a great film. I'd always admired some of the great directors like George Lucas, Ron Howard, or Tim Burton for stamping their mark, not just in the entertainment business, but in the world. Good movies not only made people laugh and cry, but also sent out underlying messages whether positive or negative. As a society, we were much more influenced by television and movies than we realized. A part of me was sort of envious of them having the gumption to do something as unrealistic as making films and managing to become a success. Though, they probably had family members who supported them.

Realizing I finished my peach, I quickly trekked back into the kitchen and threw the core away. The sound of the front door slamming caused me to look over my shoulder abruptly.

"Edward!" I heard my dad call out forcefully. He sounded angry, more so than usual.

Without further hesitation, I retraced my steps into the living room. He stood in the entryway holding his briefcase by the handle tightly. His expression was tumultuous and I felt scalded by his menacing stare.

He set his briefcase down and walked into the room. "Sit," he demanded.

I wasn't sure what I did this time, or if I even did anything at all, but I took his order and sat down on the edge of the sofa, not feeling comfortable one bit.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking sorely exhausted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know what is going on with you lately, Edward, but this has got to stop," he chided.

I had no clue what he was talking about. I tried to rack my brain for something specific I had done to make him angry, but I couldn't, because I hadn't done anything.

"I ended my shift early today, but just as I was leaving, I ran into Mrs. Hunt at the hospital on my way out," he started. Was I supposed to know who Mrs. Hunt was? "Her son is a regular patient of mine." He looked at me expectantly, as if I should've magically known who and what he was talking about. I merely shook my head and waited for him to continue. "Her son had bruises down his back because _someone_ threw him against a locker and then in a trashcan."

It suddenly clicked. He was talking about that kid, Alec.

_Oh no…he got bruises? _

It was official. Black was a monster. How could he do something like that to some young, innocent kid? The poor guy may have been sticking his nose in places it probably shouldn't have belonged, but still…he shouldn't have been tortured like that.

"You want to know who he said his tormentor was?" he asked, but didn't even wait for my answer. "You."

My mouth fell open slightly, and my face began to flush in confusion. "What?" I breathed out incredulously.

"Don't act dense, Edward," he seethed.

"Dad!" I pleaded. "I didn't do that! I swear to God I didn't. It was—" I was about to say Jacob Black before he cut me off, of course.

"This is just something beyond anything I thought you could ever be capable of," he barked, throwing his hands up in the process. "This is despicable, and you don't even seem one bit remorseful."

I stood instantly. "That's because I didn't _do _anything. If anything, I helped him," I tried to explain.

"You _helped_ him?" he questioned. "Do you realize that poor boy has a disease that is probably irreversible? Do you realize that he could _die_? Do you enjoy abusing sick kids?" He rubbed a hand over his mouth in a distant thought. "I shouldn't have even told you that. You will not, under any circumstances, breathe a word of what I just told you to anyone, is that clear?" I shook my head vehemently. He turned away, picked up his briefcase and walked into his den, beginning to ramble. "When I saw him in the hospital today, I thought the worst had happened. Then I have to hear that he's not there for the usual reasons but because he has mild injuries from being bullied! Then to hear that _you_ were involved…"

As he continued to talk aimlessly, I stood there in complete shock. How did this even happen? I hadn't even touched Alec except to grab his arm, but that was only to stop him from walking away from me. Those bruises were_ Black's_ fault. The only thing I could think of was that Alec had told my dad it was _me. _Me! And worst of all, my father believed him over his own son. His own flesh and blood!

_Oh, yes, let's believe the sick, dying kid over my obedient son who has never even hurt a fly._

Right.

I briefly frowned at my own dark thoughts. That probably wasn't nice—Wait…no. That kid had thrown me under the bus…The stupid kid _deserved_ it!

"Edward! I'm speaking to you!" my dad suddenly shouted. I was pulled out of my thoughts and saw he was standing directly in front of me with his arm outstretched towards me, his palm upturned.

"What?" I questioned, confused as to how he got in front of me without me noticing and why he was holding out his hand like that.

"Give. Me. Your. Keys," he demanded in a low voice, enunciating each word as if I was stupid.

I flinched back. No. _NO_. That was something I wasn't going to hand over willingly. Not my car!

"Edward, I am not going to ask you again. Now, you give me your car keys or the consequences will be even more severe," my dad threatened.

That was already severe enough for me. My car was my happiness, my reward for doing so well in school. I deserved that car and now he wanted to take it away from me?

I made absolutely no move to take my keys out of my pocket. If anything, I hovered my hand over it, trying to protect it.

"I'm giving you to the count of three," he stated, deathly calm.

_Oh God…what is he going to do? He said the consequences are going to be more severe. What does that entail?_

"One," my father started.

_Will he force me to move away? Will I have to go live with one of my distant relatives I barely see on holidays? I don't want to leave my friends… _

"Two." His controlled expression was beginning to turn volatile.

_Is he going to hit me? I don't want to end up at the hospital with bruises on my back, too. No, he wouldn't hit me. He hasn't before. Oh God…I don't want to give up my car, but what if he really has something else worse in mind?_

"Edward…" he warned menacingly.

I jammed my hand into pocket and took out my car keys begrudgingly. When I slammed it into his hand roughly, he glowered at me, causing me to sink back a bit. As he turned away and began to walk towards his den, my blood began to boil, to seethe, to smolder inexplicably. My stomach churned and my nostrils flared.

"THIS IS _BULLSHIT_!" I screamed suddenly. I'd never cussed to my father before, or anyone for that matter. I should've been surprised at my own outburst, but I really wasn't. I couldn't have cared less.

My father turned around slowly, alarmed out my outcry. He looked completely taken aback but also thoroughly disgusted. "How dare you speak to me like that," he spat. "You will not get your car back unless you learn some manners and respect for others." He stepped forward a bit, challenging me. "Go to your room, do your homework, and then study!" His tone was loud and commanding, which only made me more furious.

Not able to stand looking at him anymore, I stomped off to my room, slammed the door viciously hard, and fell onto my bed, not bothering to do my homework, not even to study. And for the first time, as I heard my family sit down for dinner later, I truly felt like the black sheep of my own family. I didn't emerge for the rest of the night and no one cared to bother me.

X-X-X-X

"You okay?" Jasper looked over and asked me.

We were driving in his car on the way to school. I had to bum a ride with him, since my keys had been taken away from me and were currently locked in some dark location in my father's den. It wasn't like his own parents were here to take away _his_ keys since they were off in another country doing God knows what, and _my_ parents thought the world of him and wouldn't dare take away something of his. Oh _no_. Not Jasper.

"Yes," I muttered in reply, staring out the car window.

"You'll get your keys back," he assured jovially. "Uncle Carlisle can't be that unreasonable. I mean, he gave the car to you as a gift for good grades, and when he sees you still have them, he'll return the keys."

Jasper didn't know why I had gotten my keys taken away and I hadn't bothered to clue him in. It wasn't any of his business. He just went ahead and made his own assumptions that it had been taken away because I got a bad grade or something.

When we arrived at school, our friends instantly asked me why I was riding with Jasper and where my car was.

"His Volvo got taken away," Jasper revealed casually and walked with Alice into the school. I practically growled as I stared daggers into his back.

Rosalie suddenly chuckled as she began to follow behind them with Emmett. "Oh man. He must really have his panties in a bundle. His Volvo is his pride and joy!"

The rest of the morning passed by in a blur of tests, lectures, and note taking. At lunch, I sat quietly at our usual lunch table and stared down at my food, shifting around the peas with my fork. My friends all laughed and joked around me, but I couldn't hear them, I couldn't hear anyone. All I could think about was that my car was gone and that it was all that stupid kid's fault. By the end of lunch, I was enraged again, and part of me wanted to hunt Alec down and ask him what his problem was.

The bell rang and I shot out of my chair, not bothering to throw away my food, and barely remembering to grab my bag. When I got into cooking, I grabbed my apron and threw it on roughly. I couldn't tie the strings at the back, so I left them, my apron hanging open. I walked to the back and stood at the counter, waiting for the class to start so that this day would just be over.

Bella came waltzing into the classroom, but I didn't regard her. I couldn't have cared less about her at the moment, especially because even looking at her for a minuscule of a second reminded me of Black, who reminded me of that kid, which reminded me that my car had been taken away and I was still grounded.

Mrs. Cope told us we were making Beef Stroganoff, and I had no idea what that was, nor did I care. My mind was still in an agitated daze as I carelessly followed the recipe. I had to chop up some onions or the other and place them into a frying pan of oil. I did this and nearly cut up my fingers, causing me to groan in frustration. The oil began to splatter around and burn me, and it wouldn't stop. Mrs. Cope told us to cook them for three minutes, so I had to stand there and let myself be splattered with hot oil.

A soft snort came from next to me, but I didn't turn my head, I only flared my nostrils and continued to allow myself to be scalded, moaning in quiet agony when it'd splash on a sensitive part of my skin.

I thought we were finally done with the oil, but then Mrs. Cope said to add _mushrooms_. I didn't know how much longer I could handle the scorching oil landing on my arms.

Suddenly, a hand reached out in front of me and turned some knobs on the stove, slowing down the sizzling effect of the oil. I followed the arm and saw Bella with an amused look on her face.

_Figures that my agony would entertain her. _

I glanced at her quickly. She caught my eye, and I swiftly went back to stirring…whatever this was, temporarily relieved that I wasn't being burned alive anymore.

A bit later, Mrs. Cope told us we had to "lightly coat beef strips in flour," whatever that meant. So, I took a handful of flour and dumped it on top. I realized then that that wasn't lightly coating, but it was too late.

"You know, you might want to scoop some of that off."

I narrowed my eyes and cast Bella a sideways glance. "I got this. Thanks," I growled at her.

She smiled cockily and threw her hands up in a sarcastic surrender, then went back to her own preparations.

I returned my attention back to my dish and tried to scoop as much flour off as best I could. The beef now had a light layer of flour on it, but I couldn't say the same for my hands and arms, which were coated in thick white flour.

Bella let out a quiet chuckle and shook her head, not looking at me. I was _so_ close to sabotaging her Beef Stroganoff. While I went through ways to do just that, I managed to somehow get close to the end of the recipe, which entailed simply adding salt and pepper.

"Don't add too much," Bella warned, lightly sprinkling pepper on her near complete meal.

I huffed and ignored her, adding the amount I wanted. I liked a good bit of spice to my meals. I'd take it like a man.

When we were all done, and the class was nearly over, Mrs. Cope came by and tasted all of ours one by one. She started down near Bella and made her way across the counter. When she got to Bella, she took a big, generous bite, as if knowing that it would taste good.

Mrs. Cope nodded in appreciation. "Mmm, Bella. This is exquisite, as usual," she complimented. "Very good, my dear." They both exchanged a quick smile and then…it was my turn.

She looked at my dish, hesitating a bit. "How did you manage, dear?"

"Oh, I managed fine, thanks," I told her as kindly as I could in my still agitated state.

A soft, quiet breathing laugh came from next to me. It sounded like someone was laughing through their nose. I held my chin up and waited for Mrs. Cope to try it. When she did, she instantly coughed and brought a fisted hand up to her mouth. "Oh," she sputtered, trying to rein in her choking. I frowned, and she instantly put the fork down and patted my shoulder. "Very…interesting." After that, she quickly moved on to the next person.

Bella leaned over near me and whispered, "Should've listened to me, Richie."

I continued looking straight ahead of me and glared at nothing in particular, her words echoing in my mind. She was really starting to aggravate me with her pompous, superior attitude. I really wished now I had thought of a good way to sabotage her meal.

As soon as the bell rang, I rocketed out of there and on to my next class. The rest of the day passed as slow as it possibly could, sadistically torturing me as if it knew I wanted desperately to go home.

Finally, the last bell sounded, and I was one of the first to make it out into the parking lot. Based out of habit, I walked over to my parking space. When I saw that it was empty, I remembered I didn't have my car to drive home with. Reluctantly, I dragged my feet over to Jasper's car…and waited. I knew he liked to walk out with Alice, so he'd probably be a while.

A strong aroma of tobacco clouded my sense of smell, and I tried to stop breathing. That obviously meant that Bella was nearby, giving everyone secondhand smoke. When I couldn't hold my breath anymore, I released it, and was again bombarded with that retched, chalky smell.

With a loud thud, I dropped my messenger back on the gravel near the front tire of Jasper's car, and took long strides over to the beat up old truck I'd come to hate more and more.

Bella was leaning up against the side of her car, a cigarette between her lips, disregarding that I was now standing in front of her. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the side of her face, challenging her to look at me as she looked off into the distance.

Still looking away, she finally spoke haughtily, "Can I help you?"

She removed the cigarette from between her scarlet coated lips. I watched, entranced, as she pursed them a bit and let the smoke cascade slowly out of her mouth. My vision became fogged as the smoke swirled between us.

"What happened to your eye?" she asked.

Like a full on collision, I was taken out of my brief daze, and my prior anger rushed back to me, coursing through my veins, making my blood simmer. "What do _you_ think happened?" I questioned accusingly. I had no doubt in my mind that she had to have known that I got beat up, because someone from her little gang did it, whether it was Black or not.

She knitted her eyebrows together and tapped her cigarette lightly to release the growing ash. "I don't fucking know. Did you get into a catfight with your hair gel?" she asked, looking up at my hair. She suddenly frowned. "I see your hair is back to normal." She paused and shrugged her shoulders. "Too bad."

Out of security, I wanted to run my hand over my gelled hair, but I controlled myself. I didn't want her to see me even acknowledge what she said. So, I remained still, not uttering a word. It probably seemed to her like I was mute or something because she began to eye me, expecting me to say something.

She took another drag of her cigarette and released the smoke as she talked. "So, why was your dick all twisted and shit in class?"

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. It was like whatever she said sounded foreign to me. She used weird, crass words most of the time, so that was probably why.

"You nearly had a fucking spaz attack with that flour. Did you not notice?" she asked.

Oh. She was talking about my bad mood earlier.

Earlier? Was I no longer in a bad mood or something? Of course I was!

I gave her a sneering look. "I had a lot on my mind."

She flicked her cigarette over my shoulder, narrowly missing my neck. "Oh, excuse _my_ ass, Richie," she said sarcastically.

I furrowed my brow. It seemed that whenever I was around her, the tension in my forehead always began to build up.

"Well, whatever crawled up your dick, it was sure as fuck amusing," she noted with a smirk. "Especially seeing Cope's face screw up like a little virgin's asshole."

My eyes grew so wide, I feared them popping out of my sockets. Where did this girl learn to speak like this? Did she even care what she said? More importantly, why was I still standing here listening to this?

She grabbed her bag from the ground and took out another cigarette, even though she had just finished smoking one. I watched as she ignited the lighter, sparks shooting out sporadically before disappearing quickly as the flame took over. She flung the top of the lighter back on and stuffed it in her bag, taking a quick puff in the process.

She probably noticed my staring at what she was doing, because she held out her hand with the cigarette between her fingers, offering it to me. "Whatever's on your mind, this will help," she said suddenly, leaning back against her car.

I shook my head quickly in the negative, but I briefly wondered how it was that it took away people's stress. It wasn't like drugs where it took your mind off things. This was just tobacco and smoke filling your lungs.

She snorted. "Oh, right. A regular Richie Cunningham." She brought the cigarette back into her mouth and spoke through it. "Hmm," she hummed, looking as if she had realized something. "Looks like _all_ Richie's are as much a tight ass as you."

I fumed. I had no clue what she was talking about, but it didn't sound in my favor, that was for sure. Why did she have to be so incessantly rude to me all the damn time? What did I ever do to her to make her treat me like scum?

"You know," she continued, staring out into the parking lot. "Sometimes you just have to let loose. Just fucking try something new for a change rather than being so goddamn uptight all the fucking time." She turned her attention back to me. "You know what I mean?"

I actually didn't know what she meant. "No," I answered simply.

She jutted out her hand again, offering me the cigarette. "It's a good stress reliever," she reasoned. "Just fucking try it. You don't like it, you give it back to me, and I get the extra puffs. No biggie."

As it was, I was feeling incredibly stressed. Not just from standing here, talking to someone who was a headache to converse with, but also because of everything that was going on in my life. If that little…stick of death…could take away my stress for a few seconds, then it would probably be worth it.

_Did you just reason that you should smoke a cigarette? _

I contemplated it a moment longer, running the risks of smoking through my head, wondering if it would be worth it in the long run.

_The risks are for long term smokers, not someone that just takes one puff and that's it._

Okay.

Very slowly, I reached out and pinched the cigarette awkwardly, removing it from her fingers. I tried to maneuver it so that the filter was facing me.

_Wait…her mouth has been on this. Can I get a disease from sharing a cigarette with someone whose mouth has been God only knows where? _

_How deeply should I breathe? Do I have to just inhale and exhale and that's it?_

_Do I just stick it in my mouth? Should I wet my lips or something?_

Ignoring my inner questions, I brought the filter between my cold lips, trying to set it right in the middle. Bella looked at me expectantly, so I took a very big, deep breath, sucking hard.

Instantly, the back of my throat burned, feeling as if it had been pierced in half, and scalded my sensitive nostrils. My wet tongue suddenly grew dry and I yearned for some water as my head began to spin on its own accord, dulling off into a feeling of lightheadedness. The sounds of students walking to their cars became muffled as I began to hear myself cough and sputter violently, warm smoke flying out of my mouth in short, sporadic spurts. I quickly took the cigarette out of my mouth and held it out away from me. My throat began to itch profusely and I wanted to reach down through my mouth and scratch it aggressively to get rid of the stinging sensation.

"And how does this help relieve stress?" I asked, still choking.

She took the cigarette back and smoked it effortlessly. "You were so busy practically swallowing the cig that you forgot about your problems, right?" My coughing died down, but the itching remained as I glared her over. "You'll get used to it, Richie," she added, one corner of her mouth tugging up.

"That's another thing," I said through my wheezing. "Why do you call me Richie?" I was hoping the question would help me take my mind off the need to scratch my neck, but it only made it worse through speaking out loud.

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh, is that not your name?" she inquired.

I wasn't quite sure if she was serious or joking. "No, it's not my name."

"Ahhh," she mused, tapping her cigarette. "That fucking sucks. Though, I'm still going to call you Richie no matter what. So, you can just bite me."

My eyes grew horrifically wide with that last statement. "I beg your pardon?"

She threw her head back and laughed heartily, then tossed her unfinished cigarette on the ground. She bent down and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. "Toodaloo, Richie," she sang in a high-pitched mocking tone.

Instead of getting into her truck and driving off, she made a beeline for the bushes and disappeared behind them, just like every other time I'd seen her in the lot.

"Ed!" I heard behind me. "What are you doing over there?"

I turned and saw all my friends staring over at me as they walked to their cars. I looked at the ground and saw that Bella hadn't extinguished her cigarette, so I quickly stepped on it, and then ran over to them.

"Why were you standing over at Bella Swan's truck?" Jasper asked.

Oh crap. Had they seen me talking to her? Had they seen me smoking?

"No reason," I said casually, hoping he'd buy it.

Jasper shrugged and kissed Alice goodbye. As soon as I said bye to all my friends, I got into Jasper's car, feeling a strange shift in my mood. This morning, when I had first been in his car, I was annoyed, angry, and felt completely hopeless, but now, the only thing I felt was a sense of…calmness. I couldn't understand why and if it was because of my interaction with Bella Swan, but I found myself wishing I could feel something like that more often.

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**A/N: **

**Maybe it's a good thing Edward is cooking. He should've known better than to add heaps of pepper, haha. Poor Mrs. Cope. Only a person with zero taste buds could handle that. I actually had a similar experience like Edward's where I underestimated what my system could take as far as heat, because I like spice. I popped an entire Habenero chili in my mouth and...yeah...no amount of milk or water would kill the heat of it. I was 16 and had impulsive streaks like a boy. Actually...I still do. Maybe next time I'll force Edward to eat his own cooking. ;-)**

**Anyway! Happy Tanya-less chapter to you all. I know you guys cringe at the sight of her. lol. She's not bad though. I'm starting to feel sorry for her cause you guys hate her so much! **

**See you next update, and please review. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26 and my pre-reader Renas40. Thanks also to the people who have taken a general interest in this story and have tweeted about it or rec'd it out.

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Jasper opened the front door, and I stepped inside after him. We both set our bags down in the entryway and went into the kitchen for snacks. I pulled an orange from the fruit bowl, and Jasper took out one of his blueberry yogurts from the fridge.

"Hey…" he trailed off sadly, "someone ate one of my yogurts."

I turned my back to him as I began to peel the orange. I threw the skin into the trash little by little. "That sucks," I acknowledged, knowing fully that it had been me who ate his precious yogurt.

I heard his footsteps grow distant and the television turn on in the living room. The sounds of annoying cartoons echoed through the house. I rolled my eyes and prayed to God that Jasper wouldn't force me to watch that junk. Finishing peeling the last of the skin, I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Jasper, who ate his yogurt obliviously. I knew I'd get in trouble if Dad was home and saw me lounging around, but frankly, I didn't care.

"Emmett and the girls are coming over," Jasper said, staring at the vivid colors of the childish animation dancing across the screen.

"Thanks for telling me in advance," I remarked sarcastically. I'd always known when everyone was coming over. It bugged me that no one had bothered to tell me this time around.

"Well, I'm telling you now," he stated. "It's not a big deal. We're just going to watch a movie."

I popped an orange slice in my mouth. "Well, have fun," I spoke dryly.

"No, you're staying, too," he said.

Part of me wanted to stay, but another part of me didn't. I just wasn't entirely in the mood to watch a movie, and I knew I wouldn't be good company. "I'm grounded, remember?"

"Uncle Carlisle won't be back until later," he assured. "You're fine."

Of course, because if Dad were to come home early, it wouldn't be him that got in trouble, it'd be me.

There were a few rapid knocks on the door and Jasper instantly stood and disappeared into the entryway.

"Hey, guys, come in," Jasper greeted.

Emmett, Rose, and Alice came inside and into the living room, setting their belongings down on the floor near the couch and sofa chairs.

"Well, hello to you, too," Rose said snippily to me as she flopped down into one of the sofa chairs.

I rolled my eyes and gave her an unamused smile. "Hello, Alice and Emmett," I greeted casually.

Rose huffed and muttered "jerk" under her breath.

Alice and Jasper snuggled up at the opposite end of the couch and Emmett sat down on the floor between Rose's legs. If Tanya were here, which she wasn't, she would've sat right next to me, her head on my chest, with my arm wrapped around her shoulder lazily. With that image in mind, I began to wonder what she was doing right now, where exactly she was, and if she was thinking about me at all. I cursed her silently for not having a cell phone plan that allowed her to call internationally.

"So, what movie are we watching?" Jasper asked me. How was I supposed to know? I wasn't the one who planned this get together. I didn't even know about it up until five minutes ago.

"Let's watch _The Notebook._ I love that movie," Alice suggested cheerily.

"Uh, how about _not_," Emmett scolded. "Plus, Edward wouldn't have a movie like that." He looked up at me from his hard place on the ground. "Please tell me you don't have a movie like that." He was practically begging.

"No, I don't," I assured, and Emmett sighed in relief. "My mom does, though."

Alice practically squealed and bounced on the couch. Emmett let out a very loud groan like a caveman.

"Pop it in!" Alice demanded.

"There are so many comments I can make about that," Jasper teased, and Alice slapped his shoulder playfully.

I laughed, but stayed seated. I really didn't want to watch that movie. Tanya had made me see it a while back and my T-shirt I'd worn had never fully recovered from her fisting my shirt and soaking it with her tears. It wasn't a bad movie, to be honest, but I had paid more attention to the amazing cinematography than anything else. That and Rachel McAdams…

"Wait," Rose chimed. "Before we start any movie, did you guys hear about Newton?"

We all said no, except for Alice who proudly said yes.

"What happened?" I questioned.

"Jacob Black punched him after school," Rose said. "I saw it happen when I was going to my car in the parking lot after you guys all left."

"Oh man!" Emmett exclaimed. "How could I have missed this? That guy so deserves it, too."

I fully absorbed what Rose revealed. Mike Newton had gotten punched by Jacob Black. Did that mean that it was true what Alec had said about over hearing Mike talk about Bella? In turn, that must've meant that Bella getting arrested was true. Black wouldn't go beating up and punching people if it weren't true, right?

"I know why Jacob punched Mike," Alice declared boastfully.

"Why?" I questioned quickly, wanting to confirm what I already knew.

"I heard Bella Swan and Mike were caught by Jacob going at it in the boy's bathroom," Alice answered.

I furrowed my brow, confused. That wasn't what happened at all. Well, I didn't know whether Mike and Bella did that, but I was sure that Black had punched him for other reasons. "No, that's not it," I blurted. A second too late, I realized what I had just said.

"What?" Alice questioned, and then practically jumped over Jasper and sat right, smack-dab, next to me. "What do you know? Tell me now."

There was no backing out at this point. Alice was relentless. She could smell the scandalous knowledge I withheld a mile away and she wouldn't ever give up until she got what she wanted. But what were the chances of me getting another black eye if I told Alice, because I knew that she would go tell everyone and then Black would try to hunt me down. A part of me wanted to know if he would because that would clarify the rumor even more, but also, I wanted a second chance with him, for some reason. Maybe the next time I'd see him, I wouldn't let him get a punch in. But would I have it in me to hit him back?

"Edward," Alice whined as if in pain, and began poking my arm repeatedly. "Please! Tell me!"

With my mind made up, I sat up straight, and leaned away from her incessant jabbing. "Mike apparently went to a bar in Port Angeles and saw Bella punch a police officer in there. She got arrested for it."

Everyone's mouths fell open except Alice's. She was beaming, her eyes glistening with excitement. "This is unbelievable!" Alice exclaimed, and jumped off the couch. She grabbed her purse and whipped out her cell phone, texting fervently.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm texting Jessica," Alice answered, concentrating hard as her fingers danced around the buttons of her phone. "She'd have to know the lowdown. She's dating Mike, after all." She finished and sat back down next to Jasper, placing the phone in her lap but eyeing it every two seconds.

"I totally believe it," Rose said. "She'd do something like that. Punching a cop is so up her alley."

"I know, right?" Alice agreed. "She's so odd."

"She's a freak," Rose stated coldly.

For some reason, what they were saying about her didn't sit right with me, but that still didn't stop me from saying the next word. "Yeah."

They both turned their heads to me at the same time. "You agree?" Rose questioned.

"Yep," I replied automatically. I wasn't sure why I was saying it, when I actually didn't believe it. I guess I felt like if I didn't agree, they'd know I really didn't think she was a freak at all, a bit weird and eccentric, yes, but not a freak.

Rose let out a low chuckle. "Well, that's the first thing you and me agree on. Ever."

I shrugged casually. "I guess."

"And what's with the blue eye shadow _all the time_?" Alice added. "There are other colors, you know. It's funny how all the girls copy her with that."

"Lame, if you ask me," Rose countered. "And she wears the same outfit every day."

"I know!" Alice exclaimed incredulously, as if it were a sin. "I mean, black on black? How morbid."

I cleared my throat uncomfortably and uttered, "Maybe her personality died and she's mourning."

Rose burst into wild fits of laughter. "That's too funny!" she cried.

"Hey, guys," Emmett said sullenly. "Maybe it's all she can afford."

I frowned instantly, ashamed of what I said. God…I hadn't thought that she had been wearing the same outfit because she couldn't afford to wear anything else. That would make sense. And that would make me a complete, heartless monster for saying something so callous about her.

"You _would_ say that, Em," Rose snapped. "I know you find her hot."

"What?" Emmett questioned, laughing a bit in disbelief. "I never said that. When did I say that?"

"Just now!" Rose exclaimed.

"I didn't say that!" Emmett countered.

"You implied it."

Emmett brought his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on them, holding his head in his hands. "Oh, geez…"

"I know you find her attractive. Don't even lie," Rose scolded. "Who here finds Bella attractive?"

My eyes just about fell out of my head from them widening so much. I hoped to high heaven that she didn't expect me to answer that, because I really didn't know what my answer would be.

"I'm not playing this game, Rose," Emmett stated.

"Yeah, me neither," Jasper chimed in.

And I _definitely_ wouldn't play this game. No way.

"It wasn't a game, but now I think I'll make it one," Rose chirped. "Rate Bella Swan on a scale of one to ten." Emmett groaned. "Come on, I'll even rate her, too."

"_You're_ going to rate her?" Emmett asked, brightening up a bit.

"Yep. Now, let's go," Rose urged. "Alice, you first."

"What are we rating on?" Alice inquired.

"Her looks. Duh," Rose said.

"Fine," Alice agreed, and tapped her forefinger to her chin in thought. "Hmm. Well, if she didn't always wear that God-awful eye shadow all the time…I'd have to say an eight."

"_Eight_?" Rose queried, and laughed.

"She's not ugly," Alice admitted. "If she were a normal person and dressed better with actual colors that living people wear, then she'd be more attractive."

"Whatever," Rose brushed off, clearly repulsed. "My turn. Three."

It was so obvious that Rosalie was jealous of Bella for whatever reason, but it was vicious and embarrassing on her part. Before I could stop myself, I snorted loudly.

Rose snapped her head towards me, her eyes feral. "Is there a problem with my rating?" she questioned angrily. "And what would _you_ rate her?" Before I could even begin to think of an answer, she raised a hand to stop me. "Never mind. Not yet. Emmett—go."

"What?" Emmett exclaimed, looking horrified. "How did Edward get skipped?"

"Because I don't care about his answer," Rose clarified. _Ouch. _But it was better for me, anyway. Emmett shook his head vehemently, refusing to give into her. "If you don't answer, I won't…" She bent down to whisper something in his ear.

He looked up at her, shocked. "What? No! _Rose_," he whined. "Come on…"

"Nope," she said in finality, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay," Alice started impatiently, "you need to tell me what you just said to him." Rose leaned over the armrest of the chair and whispered something in Alice's ear. "Oh!" Alice giggled. "That'll do it."

"Fine!" Emmett relented, looking desperate. "Nine."

Rose gasped in disgust. "Oh, now I'm really not going down on you later."

I rolled my eyes. Did I really need to hear that?

Emmett slammed his fists down on the ground. "You told me to say!"

"Yeah, yeah," Rose muttered. "Your turn, Jazz."

Jasper smiled broadly and threw an arm around Alice's shoulder. "Alice is a ten."

"Aww," Alice cooed, and snuggled into his side.

"I didn't say Alice!" Rose snapped.

"Oh." Jasper smiled sheepishly. "My bad."

"Honestly, Jazzy, what would you rate her?" Alice asked.

Jasper shrugged. "Probably like a six or something. She's not really my type." He leaned down and kissed the top of Alice's head. Emmett huffed and narrowed his eyes at Jasper, looking as if he envied his answer.

Suddenly, they all turned to me. I sunk down into the cushions, further and further, trying to avoid their stares. I felt my throat constrict, my palms become sweaty. I swore to God that my heart stopped and that I'd need to be immediately hospitalized.

"What about you, Golden Boy?" Rose questioned with a raised eyebrow. "One to ten. And don't give me a cop out answer like Jazz and say Tanya is a ten, 'cause that's bull."

I tried to run through every single number and see if one of them suited her. I discounted everything below five because only hobbits and trolls could be below five, and Bella was neither. But, apparently, Rose thought of Bella as one of them with her rating. I couldn't say a six because Jasper said that, and I would never follow his lead. I continued discounting numbers, finding reasons to get higher and higher. Before I knew it, I was considering her a nine, and that's where I mentally freaked out.

"Zero," I choked. I could feel myself breathe again, and I inhaled deeply, reveling in the sensation of fresh oxygen.

"Zero!" Rose rang happily, and laughed wickedly. "That's a good answer. You just went up in my book."

Alice's phone chirped and she began fiddling with it. I took advantage of the distraction and stood. I needed a little breather from all this. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets.

As I began to fill the cup with water from the refrigerator's water dispenser, Jasper walked in and threw his empty yogurt carton in the trash.

"No one in their right mind would rate her a zero and you know it," Jasper said, and walked back out.

I furrowed my brow and my lips parted slightly. That was just it. I wasn't in my right mind. Not just because I said she was a zero, but I hadn't been in my right mind for the last few days. Everything had so suddenly shifted dramatically in my life, and not for the better.

My hand began to feel a sudden wave of cold, frigid pressure, and I looked down to see that my cup was overflowing as water spilled down the sides of the clear glass and onto my hand.

"Damnit!" I cursed, and pulled my glass away from the water dispenser, tipping even more water onto the wet floor. I set the cup down on the counter and grabbed some paper towels, cleaning off my hand, and then bent to wipe the floor.

As I was cleaning, I tuned into Alice talking loudly in the living room. "…And Jessica said she had no clue that anything happened and that Mike refused to talk about it after she read my text message. She said that he sounded frazzled and scared. She also called his friends, Eric, Ben, and Tyler, and they all refused to talk about it, as well…"

I stood and bunched the towel up into a ball, staring off into space. Alec had said that he overheard Mike telling his _friends_ what happened with Bella. Did that mean that Black had gotten to them, too? And why was everyone so damn scared of him?

I tossed my towel in the trash and decided to go to my room. I needed to take my mind off everything. I vowed I wouldn't let any of this get to me anymore than it all ready had.

X-X-X-X

_I found myself in a familiar place, a place that I knew I'd been before. The salty breeze made my nostrils tingle. I watched as my sock covered feet stepped onto the sand, several grains attaching themselves to the white cotton fabric. Step after step I took, refusing to look up, just keeping my eyes on the beige colored ground beneath me. _

_It was uncomfortable for me to walk because I was completely drenched in sweat, the hot sun scorching down on my thick black sweatshirt which clung to my skin. The whisper of the ocean grew louder and louder, willing me to look up, and I finally did. My sight immediately set on a woman facing the sea, her strawberry blonde hair fluttering freely with the call of the wind. She wore a long, cotton white dress that came down to her ankles. The hem of her dress slightly lifted as the wind picked up, and it waved unabashedly, twisting and turning. _

_A smile warmed my already heated face as I recognized who she was. When had she come back in town? "Tanya," I called out, waving as if she could see me. I stopped directly behind her, but she had yet to notice I was near her._

_The wind picked up substantially, whistling forcefully. The waves crashed harder against the sandy shore. I wanted her to touch me, hold me. I wanted her to tell me she was here, and everything was going to be okay, that nothing else would happen to me. I needed, yearned for her sweet comfort. _

_I was about to say her name again, but she began to slowly turn around in her spot. When she fully faced me, I let out a horrified gasp. This wasn't Tanya. What had happened? Dark hair fanned her shoulders, dark blue eye shadow coated her chocolate eyes, sinister red lips upturned into a devilish smile, black tank top and black jeans…_

"_Bella?" I questioned. _

My eyes shot open in the dark, and I stared up at nothing.

X-X-X-X

The morning classes whizzed by, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I was starving, not having had eaten much last night. Mom had brought up dinner to my room, but I barely even picked at it, and it ended up getting stone cold.

Although I got a burger and some fries for lunch, I still couldn't seem to touch my food and ended up picking at it again. Everyone spoke to each other and continued to discuss the big Mike Newton fiasco that had garnered much more attention than necessary. The rumors surrounding it continued to become more and more exaggerated as the day passed. The latest version was that Mike Newton and Bella had confessed their undying, forbidden love to each other and were running away together, but Jacob, the angry boyfriend, had caught them and had a showdown with Mike over Bella's affections, and miraculously, Mike got a couple punches in, too. I found it all amusing, at best.

A couple times, I snuck glances at the La Push table, but there were only a few of them sitting there. Black and Bella were missing. Did that mean they were together somewhere? What were they doing? I wondered if that meant Bella wouldn't be going to Cooking, because it seemed that whenever she didn't show up in the lunch room, she'd miss out on class, even though it only happened once, as far as I knew.

When I arrived in Cooking, there were already several girls there, tying on their aprons and situating themselves at the counter. I grabbed my plain apron and threw it on, actually managing to tie it this time.

I went over to my spot at the counter and stood silently. My eyes kept flashing to the door whenever I'd see someone with dark hair nearby. On my fifth time eyeing the doorway, I turned around, leaning back against the edge of the counter, and crossed my arms. Noticing a bit of movement in the corner of my eye, I looked to see a thin brunette, who I'd never seen before. I wondered if she had stood next to me the whole few days I'd been in this class and why I never noticed her. Had she been here from the start of the class? I began to ponder if she'd talked to Bella during class, and what Bella had to say to her.

Angling my body towards her, I took her in more. She seemed pleasant, friendly, I suppose. Would Bella give someone like her the time of day?

"Hi, what's your name?" I found myself asking her.

She turned her head to me in utter surprise. I could scarcely make out behind her now fogged up glasses that she was wearing blue eye shadow. "Angela Webber," she answered quietly.

I rested my forearm on the surface of the counter and leaned my body weight against it, crossing one leg over the other in the process. I tried to muster a charming smile. "Hi Angela, I'm—"

"I know who you are," she huffed. "You're Edward Cullen—star of the swim team. Everyone knows who you are."

I furrowed my brow at that, for a moment, but then remembered what I had been thinking about asking her in the first place. I leaned in close to her, and I could tell she was becoming nervous. "Have you ever spoken to Bella Swan?"

She sucked in a bit of air, taken aback by my question. "Oh—no. No," she sputtered hesitantly, looking at the door as if searching for someone. "We don't speak to her."

_We?_

"Who's we?" I questioned.

Her shoulders tensed and she appeared unsure if she should speak, but after a few moments, she relaxed a bit. "The girls in this class," she whispered.

"Why not?" I asked.

"You're kidding, right?" she questioned, as if I should've already known. "At the beginning of the school year, when this class started, we were all shocked to see Bella here. I mean, she doesn't seem the type to pick up a spatula, you know what I mean?" She looked around for a moment, and then spoke in a quieter tone. "There was this girl, Jane, who used to be in this class. One day, she went and told a couple of her friends that Bella Swan was in the same class as her. Bella got wind of it and threatened them all that if they breathed a word to anyone, they'd find their cars' brakes not working."

My jaw dropped. This couldn't be true. It had to be a rumor…

She continued, "Jane thought she was bluffing and said it out right to her face. But the next day…Jane didn't show up to school…because she got into a _car accident_. It was just in the parking lot here and she wasn't hurt or anything, but still…" she leaned in and whispered, "it was_ her_…I _know_ it was." She pulled back a bit. "And worst of all, she doesn't even care about it. After that, Jane transferred out of here and we haven't seen her since. And none of us will tell anyone about Bella, because we know that if we do, we'll most likely end up with our brakes tampered with, too."

I couldn't believe it. Bella had risked a life for the sake of a little embarrassment? Angela seemed like a stand up girl, so I doubted she was lying, but had anyone actually seen Bella tamper with Jane's brakes? I wouldn't put it past her since she seemed the type to do something like that, but then again, could someone really be that cruel?

Bella suddenly walked into the classroom, not looking at anyone but her spot at the counter, not even me. The girls in the class didn't even flinch or turn their heads in her direction. Angela quickly shuffled back to her spot and refused to look at me again. Bella gathered her black hair in a high pony tail and tied her yellow apron in the back as if she'd done it a hundred times before.

Class began and Mrs. Cope told us we'd be making some sort of Tilapia fish dish. I kept my eye on Bella, but didn't bother talking to her. What would I have said, exactly? Nice fish? Though, the more time throughout the class I spent trying not to talk to her, the more I felt I _needed_ to talk to her. For some reason, I needed to know for myself if some of these rumors were true, the rumor involving the faulty brakes, but more importantly, the rumor involving her in Port Angeles. But how would I approach her with it? She seemed hell bent on not even acknowledging me in class, and I couldn't risk speaking to her after school again with my friends watching.

As class finished, I packed my bag quickly, while Bella grabbed her tattered one. When she moved towards the door, I moved, too. She walked quickly out the door, beating the rest of the girls in class as they slowly gathered their belongings. Students began to file out of their classes, and she managed to dodge them all, while I ran into a few people as I watched the back of Bella's head disappear around the corner and to the stairs. I managed to weave through the crowded hallway unscathed, and flew down the stairs after her. When I reached the ground floor, I located Bella exiting through the double doors leading to the lot. I walked speedily down the hall, adjusting my messenger bag so that the strap hung diagonally across the length of my torso. I pushed open the doors and was instantly antagonized by the frosty September wind that always made my face numb. Through watery eyes, my sight immediately set on black hair, bouncing in the air as she walked across the parking lot towards the bushes.

What did I do now? Call out to her? Run to her? Meanwhile, she got further and further away while I remained rooted to my spot. Instinct took over, and I shouted, "Hey!"

My voice echoed across the parking lot, and she froze immediately, her body stiffening. She turned around and our eyes locked; her hard ones with my inquisitive ones. I wasn't sure how long I stared at her, but I found my feet moving in her direction. Already half way across the lot, I noticed she had bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in days. She looked exhausted. But more than that, it was freezing out, yet she wasn't even wearing a jacket. Her bare arms were completely exposed to the harsh weather. I felt a pang of guilt as I edged closer, comforted by the warmth of my coat.

As I stopped directly in front of her, she analyzed me. For the first time, her indifferent, rigid exterior seemed to waver.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked her, which had been the first thing to pop into my head. I looked over her arms and noticed the slightest bit of goose bumps emerging from her pale, translucent skin.

"No," she answered simply, and clamped her mouth shut.

"Okay," I said, unsure of what to say next.

She furrowed her brow and looked behind me with her sagging eyes. "Don't you have class?"

"Don't you?" I countered.

"_Touché_," she remarked, the slightest hint of a smile playing at her lips. And just like that, the hot and cold Bella I'd come to know was back full force. "Though, I'm not the one trying to be the fucking president." She reached behind her, grabbing her backpack that slung lazily on her shoulder. She undid the zipper and took out her pack of cigarettes as well as her lighter. As she lit one and exhaled, the lucid smoke billowed between us. "So, what can I do for you, Richie?"

Now that I was here, standing right in front of her, having a conversation, I couldn't for the life of me string words together to form what I wanted to know. All I could do was stare at her face, watching as her eyes darted between mine. She brought the cigarette up to her lips two more times before she held it out to me.

"You're doing that tight ass shit again," she said flatly. "Smoke."

I looked down at her hand, and shook my head. One choking attack was enough, yesterday. I wasn't putting myself through that again.

"I promise it gets better after the first time," she assured, an almost nurturing tone in her voice, which caused me to look up at her curiously. There was a sort of softness behind her eyes, which I'd never seen from her before.

Without even thinking, or realizing what I was doing, I took the cigarette from her. The strong scent of tobacco grew stronger as I brought it up to my mouth. I wrapped my lips around the tip, and took a shallow intake of breath. Warm smoke filled my lungs, soothing my throat, making my body feel bathed in numb heat. I couldn't figure out if it was the cigarette making me feel warm, or the temperature outside changing. I sighed in an exhale, the smoke residue flying out of my mouth. Although my throat still felt like it needed a good scratch, the calming, peaceful sensation overpowered it.

"See?" Bella inquired as more of a statement. She took out another cigarette from her pack and lit it. "You can keep that one. You'll just owe me later." She gave me a sharp wink and exhaled smoke through her nose.

Suddenly, it became crystal clear what I wanted to talk to her about, what I wanted to know. The distracting stress I had been carrying around felt like it had vanished, and I prayed that it would never return. But here, standing in front of Bella, I could think clearly, and I had to know if everything about the rumor I'd heard from Alec was true.

"So…" I started.

"Smoke," she demanded with a slight edge to her tone.

It seemed the only way she'd stick around is if I joined her to smoke, so I would do that for now. I took another short puff of the cigarette and exhaled, not feeling the itch anymore. "You missed class the other day," I said. I wanted to add, _not that that's unusual_, but the last thing I wanted was for her to run away when I'd barely gotten a chance to talk to her without her leaving abruptly.

"And?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I shrugged. "I was just wondering if you were okay." That was a bit of a lie. I wanted to find some sort of interlude to talking about what I really wanted to.

"Touching," she noted dryly, "but that's really none of your fucking business."

A shred of inferiority coursed through me, and I had no idea how she could make me feel so crappy in all of a split second. "Right," I affirmed quietly.

"So, is that all?" she asked, appearing bored now.

I tried to scrounge up a bit of the dignity I had left, though it was beginning to simmer off exponentially, so I took another puff of the cigarette quickly, enjoying the security it offered. "No," I said boldly. "It's not."

"Well, then, fucking spit it out!" she exclaimed, waving around her hand grasping the cigarette. She looked entirely impatient.

"Is it true?" I asked vaguely, realizing too late that I should've been more specific.

She seemed to realize what I was talking about, or at least I thought, because she began to chuckle darkly. "Oh yeah," she rang, dragging out each word sarcastically. "Newton and I are fucking in love and we're running off to some shitty place together. How fucktastic is that?" She tapped her cigarette, the ash falling to the ground.

"No, that's not what I—" I began to clarify, before she cut me off.

"And, yes, we fucked like two jackrabbits before we got busted. Though, I have to say, I was a bit disappointed when I saw that his snipped cock was only two inches, but hey…they can't all be fucking perfect." She flicked her half smoked cigarette on the ground. "The showdown was fucking awesome. Faggot Mike won, of course." She looked directly at me, her eyes threatening to burn a whole through mine. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

I couldn't tell if she was messing with me or not. I just figured those rumors were false. What if they _were_ true? _Mike Newton?_ No, that couldn't be right. Only an insane person would do something like that with Mike Newton. Then again, Bella was exhibiting some pretty bizarre behavior. Perhaps she really was insane.

"I actually meant about you in Port Angeles," I said.

Her eyes suddenly grew dark and turned into thin slits. Her fists clenched as she took a few small steps towards me. "Where did you hear that?" she asked in a low menacing voice.

I took a few steps back, feeling scrutinized under her searing gaze. "I—"

"Who did you tell?" she inquired in an angry whisper.

"No one," I assured. What the hell was happening? My back suddenly collided with the side of someone's car.

"You fucking better not have. If I find out that you did—"

"No," I interrupted quickly, shaking my head vehemently. "I didn't tell anyone, I promise."

"Whatever you heard, however you heard it. Fucking forget it. You hear me?" she demanded.

A twig snapped sharply behind her in the bushes. She gasped and looked over her shoulder quickly. I looked at the shrubs and saw nothing out of the ordinary, but she seemed to be panicked, her breathing unstable.

"I need to go," she whispered, and placed her backpack strap higher on her shoulder. "You're fucking welcome for the cigarette."

I watched with wide eyes as she disappeared behind the bushes. I hadn't even noticed that my cigarette had fallen to the ground, filthy dirty from when she had trampled over it in her hasty flight.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Yeah, things are building. We're finding out a little more about Bella and seeing Edward change a bit as a result of his new found interest in Bella. **

**If you're liking it, then review it. :-) See you next week. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

**I don't own Twilight or Much Ado About Nothing. **

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26 for being so lovely *blush*. Thanks to my pre-readers Irish-Sidheseer and Renas40 for their suggestions and insights. You girls are awesome.

* * *

**

The next day at school was nothing short of odd. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time, like I had to watch my step. A few times I even turned around because I felt like I was being watched or something. I chalked it up to my own sense of paranoia.

When I went into Cooking, Bella was there, but we didn't acknowledge one another. I realized that this was most likely how it was going to be; us ignoring each other inside school, yet even outside of school was still sketchy. She wasn't exactly stable emotionally, especially yesterday. One minute she was relatively calm, the next she was freaking out because of a rumor. The only other time I'd seen Bella worry over a rumor was when it involved me. And I still hadn't figured out why that was.

As usual, she dashed from the classroom, but the only difference was that I didn't follow her this time. I went onto my next period as if everything was back to normal. My teacher noted that I had been gone the last couple days, because I had skipped to see Bella, but I had such great grades that it wasn't really a problem. All I had to do was a bit of catch up, and that was nothing I couldn't handle.

The day came to a close, and I took out the necessary text books from my locker that I needed for homework. I made my way to the parking lot and approached Jasper's silver Saab 9-3. He had given me the keys and said to wait for him because he had to run up to the library and check out some books.

I opened the passenger door and threw my bag in the back. I was just about to get in when I heard a familiar voice yelling. I turned around and saw Bella arguing with Coach Clapp. He snatched her cigarette out of her hand and threw it on the ground, stepping on it quickly. They were fairly far away, so I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I could hear what she was saying plain as day.

"It's a free goddamn country!" Bella yelled.

I still couldn't hear what Coach was saying, but he was definitely scolding her. He grabbed something else out of her hand. I tried to look around him to see what he took, but they were too far away for me to be able to tell.

Coach began to walk toward the building in my direction, pocketing something in the process.

"Give that back, you fucking loon!" Bella screamed.

Coach stopped and turned to face her again. "Miss Swan, that's enough. You can serve detention with me tomorrow for that mouth of yours," he berated.

"You can't give me detention when school is over. I can do whatever the fuck I want," Bella countered.

"May I remind you that you're still on school grounds. You break the rules; you get detention." He turned back around and headed for the school.

"I won't fucking show, you know," she declared, not backing down at all.

"Then, risk getting expelled, Miss Swan," he threw over his shoulder.

She laughed wickedly. "Shows what the fuck you know!" she hollered, and spun around angrily. She kicked her tire and then slumped against the door.

I sighed. Her and I hadn't even looked at each other all day, but here I was, contemplating going over to her. She seemed upset over whatever happened, and a part of me wanted to tell her it was okay. But I was cautious. Last time I talked with her, she nearly chewed my head off. I wasn't scared of her or anything, but she was definitely a bit crazy, and I wasn't sure I could really handle that. Either way, I shut my door and walked over to her. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was scowling down at the ground.

"Fuck off," she said to me immediately.

I stopped and huffed. What a way to greet someone who was just trying to be nice. I considered turning around and walking back, but she needed to know she wasn't as intimidating as she thought she was. So, I continued toward her and leaned up against her car next to her.

"What part of 'fuck off' don't you understand?" she asked.

"You know," I started, "I'm not afraid of you."

"Yippee-fucking-doo. Congratulations, shithead. Now, leave," she demanded, and moved to open her car door. She opened it, but I quickly slammed a hand on the window and pushed to shut it. "What the fuck are you doing?" Her tone was quiet and hostile.

I leaned up against her car door and took in her appearance as her eyes trained on the door handle. I moved a little so my body blocked her view. She was flushed with anger and her nose was a bit red from the cold.

"What happened?" I asked.

"None ya'," she barked.

I furrowed my brow. I had no clue what she meant. "'None ya' what, exactly?"

"None ya fucking business is what, now fucking move before I force you," she seethed.

I smirked at her. I was feeling especially cynical and inwardly laughed at her. I found it funny that she thought she could actually force me to move. Was she going to do it physically? Her? She was tiny. I practically towered over her. I would love to see her try, though.

"I saw Coach take something away from you," I said, ignoring her threat.

She snorted and grabbed her backpack off the floor. "That's the third goddamn time that lighter has been taken. I'm sick of having to fucking jump through hoops to get it back."

She was upset over a lighter? Couldn't she just buy another one? Problem solved.

"Well, maybe if you didn't smoke out in the open…" I began to suggest.

"Oh fuck you, asshole," she snapped, and began walking away, but then spun back around to face me again. "That's more than a fucking lighter to me. It's special. Sorry it's not your fucking top of the line gadget that you fucking ordered from Japan or some shit, but it's still worth something to _me_." She turned back around in a huff and headed towards the bushes.

Without even thinking twice, I took a deep, staggering breath and yelled, "Wait!" She froze, but didn't bother to turn around. All sorts of things were running through my mind at the speed of light. Her desperate admission that the lighter meant something to her brought something out in me; some sort of need to see her have it again. I wasn't sure why, but I wanted to bring a little bit of happiness to her, especially since she looked so upset over the situation. Even though she had called me an asshole, even though she had always treated me like crap, the need was there, and it was strong. "I'll get it back for you."

After a moment, her body began to shake. And because she was still turned around, I couldn't see her reaction. At first I thought she was having a breathing problem, and then I thought she was crying, but when I heard a choppy, light-hearted sound escape her that grew louder by the second, I knew she was laughing. Not just a little laugh, either, a big booming guffaw that echoed throughout the lot, slicing through the frigid air like a blunt machete.

I frowned. "Why are you laughing?"

She spun around, her face bright with a playful smile. "You really think you can get it back?" It was a question, but it came out more as a statement.

I returned her smile and shrugged. "Yeah, why not?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and walked back over to me. "Alright, Richie. You go ahead and get me back that lighter," she said with a disbelieving smirk.

"You don't think I can get it?" I questioned.

She chuckled and threw her bag on the ground. "I think it's gonna be hella funny seeing you in detention along with me. I wasn't gonna show, but I think I would if it meant seeing you squirm like a little pussy."

She obviously didn't know me at all and the influence I had. "Alright," I started, "if I get it, you have to be nice to me from now on."

She snorted unattractively. "You fucking serious?" I shrugged at her and crossed my arms over my chest, matching her stance. "Richie, this is as nice as I'm gonna fucking get. You're lucky I'm even talking to you right now."

"Do you want me to get it or not?" I baited.

She rolled her eyes and looked around for a few seconds. "Alright, fine. Go," she relented. "It's in his office, top drawer on the right. But don't say I didn't fucking warn you."

I smirked at her and walked over to the gymnasium, which was around the side of the school. I pulled open the double doors and made my way inside, glancing one last time at Bella, who was now sitting on top of the hood of her truck. She was convinced that I couldn't get her lighter, but I knew that I was different. I was charming, for one. Bella…well…she wasn't. I also had these teachers wrapped around my finger. Not only did it have to do with my grades, but also the respectability of my family, mainly my father, since he probably saved most of these people's lives at one point or the other.

When I walked into the locker room, I noticed Coach Clapp's light on in his office, which meant he was there. Somehow, I had to keep him distracted long enough to get it, or find a way to get him out of the office. Even though I was confident in front of Bella, I began to second guess myself now. At this point, I felt I had to do this, as if I needed to prove something to her.

I took a deep breath and approached the door. Looking through the window, I could only see his legs perched up on the desk. I hesitated a second before knocking. When I did, I could hear metal grating against the ground, and then the door flew open. Coach seemed surprised to see me.

"Cullen, there's no practice today. What are you doing here?" he asked.

I eyed the inside of his office and noticed the top right drawer was open a tiny bit. "I was just hoping to talk to you," I said.

He nodded and opened his door wider. His office was small, barely able to fit a desk and two people inside, but I managed to fit.

"What can I do for you?" he questioned, and sat on his desk. He picked up some sort of stress ball that looked like a mini basketball and began pumping it repeatedly. "You'll be at the meet this Saturday, right?"

"Oh, yeah," I assured, even though I had completely forgotten about that. "Actually, I just wanted to ask you about some stuff." Okay, so my plan wasn't brilliant, but I was improvising.

"Well, shoot," he urged.

Oh crap. I hadn't thought this through at all. I could talk about swimming, but then he'd get so engrossed in that that he wouldn't keep his eyes off me. No, I had to get him out of the office. And then an idea popped into my head, and I smiled to myself. "I heard you're teaching sex-ed this year."

He looked taken aback for a moment, but then nodded. "Yeah…"

"I was wondering where you think I could find…you know," I said. She was going to owe me a hell of a lot after this.

"Find…?" he asked.

"Condoms," I finished.

He cleared his throat and fidgeted, looking uncomfortable. "You know, sex isn't something you should take lightly…"

"Which is why I'd need the condoms," I said. God, this was embarrassing. I hoped Coach could stand to look at me when this was over.

"You should look into Planned Parenthood," he suggested.

"What's that?" I asked. No, seriously…what was that? I had no idea.

He sighed and stood. "I'll be back in a minute." He quickly left the office and disappeared.

Taking my chance, I swiftly opened the top right drawer and searched around for the lighter, shifting around other random trinkets that had been taken, as well, but it wasn't there.

_Crap! Where is it?_

I opened the rest of the drawers below and still couldn't find it. When I got to the last drawer, I came face to face with a porno magazine called _Busty Bimbos_. I scowled and quickly shut that, trying to not ponder on how much of a pervert Coach was. I could hear his footsteps growing louder and I realized I lost my chance. He came back into the office and handed me a purple flyer. I frowned, feeling disappointed in myself that I couldn't get Bella's lighter back.

"There you go, kid. The number and location is on there and everything. Be safe," he said, brushing me off.

I nodded sullenly and began to walk out. Just as I was crossing the threshold from his office to the locker room, something bright yellow caught my eye on the floor, and I glanced down to see Bella's lighter at the bottom of a small mesh metal trash can. I quickly turned back to Coach. "Actually, I think I need another one."

Coach was just beginning to sit down, but then quietly groaned and stood back up. "Alright," he said reluctantly. "Stay here." He walked back out and disappeared again. I snatched the lighter and placed it deep into my pocket. He came back quicker than last time and shoved some flyers at me. "Here you go. There's more than one there. Pass them out or something. And don't be late for the meet."

I nodded and bid him thanks, then exited quickly before he caught on that something was missing from his trash. I walked back across the gym with a triumphant smile on my face. When I opened the double doors and exited, Bella wasn't at her truck. I looked around and scratched my head. Maybe she didn't think I could really get it and just decided to leave?

"Hey," I heard whispered from behind me.

I spun around to find Bella with a raised eyebrow. "Well?" she questioned. I chuckled and handed her the flyers. She took them and looked at the papers as if they offended her. "What the…" her eyes went wide as she read the top flyer, "…fuck?" She suddenly grew angry and crumpled them into a tight ball and then threw it over my shoulder. "Where the fuck is my lighter, you asshole?"

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. "You promised to be nice to me."

"Fuck you, where is it?" she asked. I huffed and took it out of my pocket, but held on tight to it. She eyed it, looking surprised. I assumed she didn't actually think I could get it. "Well done, Richie. I'm impressed." Yet, she didn't seem impressed at all. She jutted her hand out. "Now hand it over."

I stuck it back inside my pocket and patted the outside of the fabric. "No, I think I'll hold onto it," I said cockily.

She flared her nostrils and balled her hands into tight fists. I was thoroughly enjoying this. "Don't make me fish it out of there, because I fucking will."

My eyes grew wide and I nearly choked on my own saliva. Bella's hand in my pocket? I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind. "Okay, I'll give it back to you if you tell me why Jacob Black beat up Mike Newton."

She laughed and took a few steps closer. "Because he has a big fucking mouth, that's why."

"So, then, it's true?" She had basically just confirmed her own arrest.

She stuck out her hand again. "A deal's a deal, Richie. I answered your question, now hand it over."

I sighed and took the lighter out of my pocket and gave it to her. Our fingers brushed briefly, sending a tingling sensation up through my arms and warming the rest of my body. She quickly snatched her hand away and moved past me without a word.

"Hey," I called to her. "A deal's a deal, Bella. You have to be nice to me."

She slumped her shoulders, but continued walking. She made a sharp turn and walked towards her truck. I followed after her and saw her reaching down to pick up her bag. She unzipped it and took out some sort of paper.

"Turn around," she ordered.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Keep a watch out for Clapp," she said.

I turned around towards the direction of the gym and kept an eye out for Coach. I couldn't see anyone in the vicinity, actually. When I heard the sound of her lighter go off, I turned back around. "Are you smoking again?" I asked. "If Coach sees and takes your lighter away, I'm not sure I can get it back…"

"Relax," she urged.

She brought the cigarette between her index and middle finger up to her lips and took a puff. She released the smoke from her mouth, and I inhaled. There was something about the smell, though…it didn't smell like it normally did when she smoked. It was rather pungent and all wrong. She held it out to me and I took it without a second thought. I analyzed the cigarette and realized it didn't have a filter. I figured maybe it was just a different brand of cigarette, so I took a drag of it. The after taste was absolutely disgusting. It tasted worse than it smelled and burned the back my throat even more than before. I exhaled the smoke, grimacing.

Bella smiled at me and snatched it out of my hands. She took a long drag. "So, how'd you get my lighter back?" She blew smoke up into the air.

"Easy," I lied. She passed it back to me and I took another drag, adjusting to the new, different taste. "Though, I don't think I want to look through those drawers again…"

She laughed and nodded, taking the cigarette away from me. "_Busty Bimbos_, huh?" I scratched the back of my neck, but didn't respond. She'd seen that magazine? I felt embarrassed that she had seen it, almost as if it had been my own magazine. "Clapp's a creepy fucker. You don't wanna know some of the shit I've found in those drawers."

When she brought her hand back up to her mouth, I noticed a ring on her index finger that I wasn't sure if I'd seen before. It was a thick stainless steel bluish metallic colored ring with patterns of small, off-white spiders around the band.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the ring.

She looked at the ring as if she'd never seen it before. "It's a ring, Richie," she said casually.

"I know that. I mean, when'd you get it? I've never seen it before."

She shrugged and frowned. "I've had it for a long time. It's just a piece of junk." She threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. "Anyway, it's been real, but I gotta jet." She grabbed her keys out of her bag and opened her truck door. She hopped inside and rolled her window down. "Enjoy it." She laughed, and started her engine.

"Enjoy what?" I questioned.

She began reversing, but quickly stopped. "Oh, and you know how you said that you weren't afraid of me?" I furrowed my brow and nodded in suspicion. "Well…you should be," she warned, glaring at me, and then reversed all the way out and drove off, dirty smoke flying out of her exhaust.

I shook my head and walked across the space that had just been occupied by her truck. I made my way back over to Jasper's car and looked at my watch. Was Jasper _ever _coming out?

Ten minutes later, Jasper walked out of the building and towards the car. "Sorry about that. They didn't have one book I needed but it hadn't been checked out, so they went in the back to look for it." I shrugged and hopped into the passenger seat.

When we pulled out of the lot, he said he needed to stop at a pharmacy quickly, so he headed in the opposite direction of the way home. On the way, I began to feel light-headed. It was almost as if my mind was drifting away from me. I couldn't think straight. The feeling didn't sit right with me, and I figured I was just feeling queasy. Good thing we were going to a pharmacy, because I could get some medicine or something.

As I stepped out of the car, my body felt different. I felt lighter, like I was floating. It made me even more dizzy and I had to hold on to the door for a few seconds to catch myself while everything began to spin.

"You okay?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head a bit, trying to shake off the unsteady feeling, and stood up straight. "Yeah, just feeling a little dizzy." I shut the door and followed Jasper inside.

"I just need to get some notebook paper," he announced, and disappeared down an aisle.

I looked for the aisle where any kind of pills would be, but my eyes were a bit fogged up, so I rubbed my them a bit with my index finger and thumb. I walked down a random lane and came across stacks of candy, chips, and other junk food.

"Okay, done," I heard Jasper call out to me. "You ready?" His voice grew closer, yet still remained far away. It was almost like he was speaking in one of my dreams.

I eyed the chips and realized…I was incredibly hungry. No I wasn't hungry, I was _starving_. It was strange because I hadn't eaten much for the past couple of days, and had been merely picking at my food, but all of a sudden, I wanted to devour everything in this aisle. I grabbed a bag of Fritos and stashed it under my arm. After, I immediately spotted Funyuns. I hadn't had that in ages! I _had _to have it now, so I grabbed that, too.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked.

"Grabbing food." Did I just say that or did he? My voice sounded distant.

"We have food at home," he commented.

I looked at all the candy and saw some Airheads, then snatched them. "Not_ these_," I noted.

_I wonder if they have licorice. _

"Yeah, I saw some at the end of the aisle," Jasper said.

_Whoaaa…can he read my mind?_

"What the hell's the matter with you? You're speaking out loud," he remarked.

_Weird…_

I grabbed a few more things and we checked out. When I got into the car, I opened my bag of Funyuns and began crunching on them. God, it tasted good. Why the hell hadn't I had Funyuns in a while? Was I crazy? I needed to eat this every day. Maybe I could get some sort of subscription. Did chip companies give out subscriptions? I'd have to call them and ask.

"Remind me to call Funyuns," I said to Jasper.

He said something in return, but my crunching blocked out the sound. A minute later, we were home…which was odd, because we had _just _left the store like thirty seconds ago. I began to ponder the possibilities of time warps, when Jasper yelled something.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you coming?" he questioned, seeming annoyed.

I didn't really feel like getting out of the car because I was too comfortable, but I wanted to hide my stash of food in my room for later, so I got out reluctantly. As soon as I made it to my room, I placed my food in the nightstand drawer by my bed, but kept out the licorice and Funyuns. I lay down across my bed, on my stomach, and continued finishing my bag of chips, savoring each one as if it could be my last.

"Hi, dear."

I turned my head and saw my mother standing by my door. I hadn't even heard her footsteps. She must've been stealth. "Hey, Mom," I greeted happily.

"What do you have there?" she asked.

"Funyuns," I replied through crunching. I held out the bag to her. "Want one?"

She sat on my bed next to me and ran a hand over my hair a few times. It felt good. "No, you enjoy them, but don't eat too much. I'll be making dinner soon."

I had no intention of giving up my chips for real food, but I simply nodded.

"Okay," she said. "You seem happy. What's changed?"

I shrugged and flipped over on my back. "I don't know."

She laughed softly and stood. "I'll bring you your food later."

A few minutes later, I finished my bag of chips and moved onto the licorice. There were heavy footsteps growing closer to my room and I looked at the doorway. Jasper appeared at the door holding two messenger bags. That must've been heavy.

"Hey, why do you have two bags?" I asked curiously.

He rolled his eyes and threw my bag in my room. "You left yours in my car."

"Oh, that's mine?" I questioned, but he quickly disappeared. "Whatever…" I slipped off the bed and grabbed my bag. As soon as I got the flap open, I took out _Much Ado About Nothing_. It had been assigned to us to read in AP Lit and I had the rest of the month to finish it. I fell back onto my bed and opened the book to where I had left off.

_**LEONATO**__  
__Dear prince, why don't you speak?__  
_

_**DON PEDRO**__  
__What should I say?__  
__I'd be dishonored if an effort's made  
To link my dear friend to a common tart._

Tart? I forgot to get some Sweet Tarts. Damn…

_**LEONATO  
**__Were these things said, or is this but a dream?__  
_

_**DON JOHN  
**__Sir, they were said, and yes these things are true.__  
_

_**BENEDICK  
**__It's not much like a wedding.  
_

_**HERO**__  
True? O God!_

What did that say?

_**HERO**__  
True? O God!_

Hey…didn't I just read that?

I found myself reading the same line over and over again, and it still didn't make any sense to me. I snapped the book shut and threw it on the floor haphazardly. Grabbing another licorice, I lay back down on my bed.

Bella.

How did she just pop into my mind like that? Either way, it felt natural thinking about her. She wasn't as crazy today. In fact, she was semi-normal. Most of the time it always seemed like she was above everyone and nothing affected her, but when her lighter got taken away, she actually showed some human emotions and reacted like anyone else. Though, I had to admit, it was just a stupid lighter. She could go pick that up anywhere. She claimed it was "special" but how special could something with a biohazard sign on it be?

I shrugged to myself and chewed on my licorice, enjoying the sweet, tangy taste.

Something about her was just…what was the word…? Intriguing, I suppose. She was intriguing. I didn't know her too well, but from what I did know, she was different. She wasn't like all the other girls who cared about what people thought of them. Bella didn't care what _anyone_ thought of her. The only thing that was odd was the whole arrest thing. She seemed to care about _that._

I chuckled softly to myself. _Bella getting arrested…now that would be interesting to see. _My laughter started to grow in intensity and volume, and soon, I couldn't stop. I just kept laughing and laughing. I didn't even know for how long. It felt like hours, though.

Finally, I calmed down exponentially when I began to feel something strange going on in my pants. I looked down, but saw nothing unusual. The stirring continued and it was starting to bother me. I realized then that it was coming from my crotch. I patted the area and felt hardness.

_Holy crap…do I have an erection? _

I covered my hand over my arousal through my jeans, just to feel how hard I was, but the sensation was great, better than I'd ever felt before. It wasn't as if I hadn't touched myself before. I used to do it all the time, in fact. But when the constant worries of my future plagued my mind, I did that less and less. Plus, I needed a clear head to do something like that, and most of the time my head wasn't clear. But now, my head was so clear it was crystal.

I began to fondle myself over my pants, growing more and more at my own touch. God…it felt so good. I let out a deep moan that vibrated in my throat. As I firmly massaged my arousal, my groin tingled from this heightened sensation taking over my entire body. I suddenly had the strong desire to thrust myself into something warm and wet, to feel basked in heated security. When red lips etched itself into my mind, I became even more aroused to the point of straining against the inside of my jeans. I imagined those beautiful lips wrapping around the tip of my length, licking and sucking it slowly, teeth grazing me lightly. Those lips then completely engulfed me, taking me all the way in, as they moved further and further down my…

"Edward, do you have a pen? I ran out of ink," I heard Jasper call out.

I snatched my hand away as if I'd been burned, and I quickly stood. "Yeah, one sex…SEC," I fumbled, mentally berating myself for thinking like a typical teenager. If Jasper had walked in, he would've seen me touching myself. I felt myself grow soft at that thought and I grabbed a pen off my desk. My body felt heavier, a drastic change from the lightness I experienced earlier. The light-headedness that I'd been maintaining was starting to wane now as I approached his room and knocked on his door. There was a piece of paper stuck to his door with a print out of the "BEWARE OGRE" sign from _Shrek._ He was a nerd.

"Come in," he beckoned.

I turned the handle and pushed open the door. My eyes instantly shifted to his bedroom walls. I hadn't been in his room in a while, but he had stuck several movie animation posters to his walls. The most prominent were all the Transformer Autobots.

"Thanks," he said, sitting at his desk. He held out his hand without looking up.

"Yeah." I gave him the pen and began to turn around.

"So, are you done being weird?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You were just…I don't even know how to describe it. You weren't yourself," he explained, leaning his chair back a bit, the front legs lifting off the ground.

I shrugged. "I'm always myself."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm your cousin. I've known you since we were practically born. I can tell when there's a difference, and it hasn't just been today. You've been different for the last few days."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. All the stress I'd been harboring was starting to come back to me again, and I wished I could go back to not worrying about it. "Is that all you need?"I asked.

"Yep," he said, and uncapped the pen I gave him.

I left his room and went back to my own. As I spotted the licorice on my bed, I suddenly lost my appetite. I threw the rest in the trash and sat at my desk. When I picked up my book again, I was able to focus, but I found that I didn't want to.

* * *

**A/N: **

**If you didn't figure it out, yes, Edward got high. He didn't even realize or know that the joint wasn't an actual cigarette. Oh, ignorance is bliss. **

**Bella's spider ring can be found on my profile. It's actually kinda cool.  
**

**I'll be eating my Funyuns and working on the next chapter. If you review, I'll give you a nice tease. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26 and my pre-reader Renas40 for making the chapters what they are.

* * *

  
**

Later that night, after my mother had brought dinner up to me, I went down into the kitchen and filled a glass with cold water. I drank the whole thing in ten seconds, and then went back for another full glass. I gulped half of it quickly, and stopped when I felt like I'd quenched my thirst. I'd been thirsty all evening, and had probably drunk at least nine glasses in a little under three hours.

On my way back to my room, I passed my father's den leading up to the stairs, but I stopped when I heard quiet voices coming from inside. The door was closed, but I could still make out who was in there. My father and Jasper. I leaned my ear up against the door and tried to listen in to what they were saying.

"I think we could manage," my father said.

"You think he'd be okay with that?" Jasper asked. "I mean, maybe I should ask his permission first..."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"That's great," Jasper said excitedly.

"We'd have to dip into his fund, though."

"I'm not sure he'd agree to that…"

"You don't worry about a thing. Let me handle him when the time comes. We'll sort it all out near the end of your school year. It'll be fine," my dad finalized with a hint of softness to his tone that I'd rarely ever heard.

Their voices grew quiet to the point where I couldn't hear anything, and then suddenly, they both burst out into joyous laughter, the sound echoing throughout the house. Hearing enough, I climbed the stairs and shut the door to my room once I was inside. I went into my closet and picked out some flannel pants and an old gray gym shirt. Outside my room, I could hear Jasper's clumpy footsteps walking past. I hoped he would just walk by and go to his room for the night, but just as I was throwing my worn clothes into the hamper, there was a knock at my door.

"Ed, it's me. Can I come in?"

I walked over to my desk and sat down in my swivel chair. "Yeah, it's open," I said. He cautiously opened the door, looking to see what I was doing first before he stepped in. I rolled my eyes. "Just come in, will you?"

He fully stepped in and closed the door behind him, then flopped down on my bed as if it was his own. "I'm exhausted," he exhaled.

How could he be exhausted from talking to my dad? I reminded myself to ask him what the hell that conversation was about downstairs. "Why?" I asked.

He leaned up on his elbows and looked at me. "Today, after fifth period, Alice met me at the art room just as I was walking out and she told me she wanted me."

My eyes went wide. I had no idea Alice could be so forward. I was still interested to hear what happened, though. "What did you do then?"

He laughed. "What do you think? I took her to my car and we drove out to one of those secluded hiking trails nearby."

"So, you...?"

"Had sex? Yeah," he admitted, and leaned back against the bed again.

I knew Jasper wasn't a virgin. He'd told me about his first time with some girl he met at camp one summer. He didn't leave out one single detail, and it was sort of graphic, actually. They snuck out of their bunks at midnight and went to the docks. There were a few canoes tied up there and she gave him a blow job and then they had sex. How someone could have sex in a canoe, I'd never know.

"Was it good?" I asked. I knew it was a dumb question, because of course it would be good, but since I wasn't having any, I had to live through someone.

He sat up and looked around. "Hey, did you eat those Fritos you bought?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and pointed to the drawer I stashed it in earlier. He stood and went over to my nightstand, pulling out my chips. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was good for me, but it was her first time." He opened the Fritos and grabbed a handful, stuffing them in his mouth, then fell back on the bed.

"It was her first time and you did it in a car?" I asked incredulously. Didn't she deserve for her first time to be…I don't know…somewhere other than Jasper's Saab.

He held the bag of chips out to me, and I declined. "She said she was okay with it, so I didn't want to argue."

Figures. Jasper was the king of avoidance. To this day, I don't think I'd ever seen him get angry or involved in a fight. "You think she'll regret it?" I questioned.

He stopped crunching and furrowed his brow. "Do girls care where their first times are?" he asked seriously.

I couldn't answer properly, since I hadn't done anything sexual, but I knew that Tanya had always said she wanted our first time to be in a bed, at a hotel, after we had a romantic dinner. To me, it didn't really matter where, just as long as the location was decent…and clean. I knew for a fact that Jasper's car wasn't clean. He kept all sorts of junk in there. He'd refuse to throw out any fast food bags he'd get after his morning trips to McDonalds, which were almost every day.

I shrugged. "I think they do. Girls are more sentimental about that stuff."

All he did was hum in thought, then he went back to eating the chips. "Are you gonna eat the rest of these anytime soon?" he asked.

I wasn't even sure why I bought them in the first place. I didn't eat chips that much anymore. "You can have them."

"Cool," he said, and continued munching.

I could faintly hear my phone ringing in my bag, and I pulled open the flap. The ringing became louder when I pulled it out. I didn't recognize the number on the screen. In fact, it looked ridiculously long to be an actual number.

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly.

There was rustling, girly giggles, and the sound of cars honking in the background. Nobody said anything in reply to me.

"Hello?" I questioned again, getting irritated.

After a few seconds, I heard more rustling. "Eddie?"

I knew that delicate voice immediately. "Tanya?"

She laughed. "Thank God," she said in relief. "I called you before, but some Asian man picked up." There was some giggling that grew louder, and the sounds of the cars honking became muffled.

"Where are you calling from?" I inquired. It was good to hear her voice. I missed her a lot this week, and it wasn't the same without her. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I'd felt like the fifth wheel with our friends.

"Oh, I'm in Turin right now, calling from the hotel phone. This thing said I needed to dial a country code before entering your actual number, and it confused me because I didn't realize our country had a code. Maybe that's why I couldn't get through to you."

"Is that why I haven't heard from you all week?"

There was more high pitched laughter in the background. "Guys, I'm talking to Edward. Can you keep it down?" There was some whispering, and then Tanya laughed. "Sorry, about that, Eddie. They're watching naked people on the TV."

My eyes went wide. "What?" I nearly choked. "Why?"

"I don't know why they're watching it. Ask them," she said.

_No thanks._

"'Cause Irina met a boy and wants to get educated!" I heard Kate yell out, and then giggle.

Jasper looked at me from the bed with a raised eyebrow. "Who is that?" he asked.

"Tanya," I whispered in reply.

"Sorry. They're a bit drunk. So, what were you saying?" Tanya asked.

I furrowed my brow. "Drunk? What about you?" She didn't sound drunk…then again, I'd never known Tanya to be drunk, so I couldn't really tell.

"No, I'm not drunk. I mean, I drank a little, but not enough to influence me. We're going back out in a minute, though."

I looked at my watch, which read 5:32 p.m. "What time is it there?"

"About…2:30 a.m.," she replied.

"You're going out at night in a strange country at two in the morning?" I asked. That couldn't be safe at all.

"Well, we're not going out alone. We're going with some of the other girls, too. There are these clubs down at Piazza Vittorio Veneto. They're right on the river. The girls wanted to check it out, so I'm tagging along."

I sighed. "Do you really have to go out so late?" I asked

"Why? Are you worried about me?" she asked, and I could tell she was smiling.

"I've been worried about you the whole week. You haven't called to even let me know how you are."

"Well, I've been busy. Sorry. Hey, are you still grounded?" Before I could even reply, she suddenly gasped. "Oh my God! Yesterday we met Pete Sampras."

I frowned. "Who the hell is that?" I practically yelled. Jasper's eyes went wide and asked me quietly if he should go, which I said no to.

"You don't know who Pete Sampras is?" she questioned. She pulled away from the phone and giggled. "He doesn't know who Pete Sampras is, guys." There was a lot of laughter in the background. I was starting to get really annoyed. "Relax, Eddie. He's a famous tennis player."

"Oh," I said quietly, feeling foolish. I knew I could trust Tanya. After all, we'd been dating since high school practically started, and our futures were entwined together.

"Right now?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"No, not you, Eddie. The girls want to leave right now, so I gotta go. See you Sunday! Miss you!" she said excitedly, and before I could reply, she hung up the phone. I groaned and placed my phone on the desk.

"What was with all that laughing?" Jasper asked.

"Beats me. I wish I could say it's because they were drunk, but they always act like that," I said honestly.

He rolled up the bag of Fritos and stood from the bed. "You wanna watch a DVD or something?"

"Yeah, sure," I agreed.

He nodded and made his way over to the door. "I'll go get _Transformers_. I feel like watching it."

"Hey, wait." He stopped and looked over at me. "I overheard you talking to my dad in his office earlier."

He frowned. "You heard that?" he asked nervously. I nodded. "It wasn't my idea, just so you know. He said it'd be fine."

"What exactly wasn't your idea?" I questioned suspiciously.

He raised an eyebrow. "You said you overheard."

"To an extent," I admitted.

"Oh," he said. "Well, I went to him for—"

"Hey, boys."

We both turned our heads toward the doorway, where my mother was standing.

"Jasper," she scolded, looking down at his Fritos. "Chips after dinner? You know better. If you were hungry, you should've told me. Give them to me." She held out her hand. Jasper pouted, but handed them over to her without a fight.

"Ma, he's going to be eighteen in a couple weeks. Are you going to be taking his chips away, then?" I asked with a smile.

"As long as the both of you are living under my roof, you won't be eating junk food after dinner when I've made perfectly good food that you've barely eaten, anyway," she said.

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, but, Jasper. Speaking of your birthday, what do you have planned?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Alice said she wanted to do some sort of bonfire down at the beach. I'm leaving it up to her. I really don't mind either way, as long as I'm with my friends."

She patted his cheek lightly. "Alright." She held up the Fritos. "I'm putting these downstairs. You can have them on the weekend only." She turned and walked away. I remembered how my mother saw me eating chips earlier, but didn't say a word, and that sort of made me happy.

Jasper looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Thanks for telling her those were your chips."

I snorted. "Hey, you decided to eat them, so they officially became yours."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll go get the movie."

X-X-X-X

The bell sounded loudly, and we all packed our bags to go to lunch next. The teacher told us we didn't have any homework for the weekend except to review the chapter we had just learned for a quiz on Monday. I really hated AP Environmental Science, so I was glad I wouldn't have to do much for it across the weekend.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and waited for Rose, Alice, and Jasper to finish packing up. They were going super slow for some reason. Alice and Rose began whispering about something, still stalling.

"What are you guys doing? Hurry up," I urged. I didn't mean to sound rude, but it didn't take longer than two minutes to pack up your things and go. Rose rolled her eyes and continued whispering to Alice.

Jasper slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and walked down the row to me. "They don't wanna go to lunch."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Apparently, there's a rumor going around that the LP guys are going to stink bomb the cafeteria."

I laughed. That would actually be funny, even though the La Push guys were still jerks. "I'm sick of all these rumors. I bet it's not even true."

Rose huffed. "So, you want to risk going in there and then smelling that crap?"

"Yeah," Alice agreed, and pointed down to her pastel yellow sleeveless shirt. "I got this top from Arden B., and if I get any stink on it, I'm going to hunt those La Push guys down and tell them they owe me eighty dollars."

"You know, you can probably get that same shirt from Target, too," I joked. It wasn't like her shirt had diamonds on it or something else that could make it appear expensive. It was honestly pretty plain. I wouldn't have known how pricey it was if she hadn't told me.

Alice made a sound of disgust and moved past me. "I miss Tanya. She at least appreciates designer clothes."

Jasper and I quietly laughed and followed her and Rose as we left the classroom.

"When is Tanya coming back, anyway? It feels like forever that she's been gone," Rose noted.

"Sunday," I told her.

We walked down the hall towards the lunchroom, and they went ahead of me as I stopped at my locker as usual. I unlocked my locker and put my AP Environmental Science textbook in, then took out my AP Lit textbook as well as my copy of _Much Ado About Nothing. _I couldn't even get through reading the book last night, which was weird. I'd actually read it before, and had even been forced by my mom to watch the 1993 movie version, so I should've known what was going on, but it just all escaped me for some reason.

"Shit!" I heard behind me, along with a loud clatter of multiple things falling to the ground.

I shut my locker and turned around. Lauren Mallory, who was on the cheerleading team, dropped her textbooks on the ground near me. Without hesitation, I quickly bent down to pick them up, joining her on the floor as she scrambled to collect them.

"Let me get them for you," I told her.

She stopped and looked at me. "Edward Cullen," she greeted with a confident smile.

I gave her the textbooks and stood. "Yeah, hey, Lauren," I greeted back, and held out a hand to her.

From where I stood, I could see straight down her red low cut top. Her cleavage was practically smushed together and the top of her breasts were spilling out. I wondered if it hurt. I thanked God I was a guy and didn't have to worry about that stuff.

She grabbed my hand and stood, not bothering to adjust her short black skirt that had ridden up significantly. "Thanks for that," she said.

I nodded and grabbed my bag off the floor against the lockers. "Yeah, no problem."

She giggled and stepped closer. "Your girlfriend's been gone a few days and you're already looking down other girl's tops," she acknowledged.

I raised an eyebrow. "No, I wasn't looking down your top," I sputtered, though it was actually a lie. But I didn't look down her top because I _wanted _to. It was all just…there.

She laughed. "Right. You know, I can see why all the girls think you're hot, and I completely agree, but you're just not my type," she admitted with a smile. "I'm really not into the whole" she motioned a hand in front of my body, "perfect guy setup."

She took a few steps towards me, causing me to step back. She was getting way too close for comfort.

"I like my boys bad," she continued in a breathy tone. "Are you bad?" With wide eyes, I shook my head vehemently. She took a step around me with a smirk. "I didn't think so. Better not tell your sweet girlfriend you looked at my tits." She laughed and walked towards the cafeteria.

I narrowed my eyes at her retreating back, and then made my way down the hall and into the cafeteria. I wasn't hungry, so I bypassed the lunch line. Emmett and Rose were sitting at our usual table with Jasper and Alice nowhere in sight.

"Hey, where's Jasper?" I asked them, pulling out a seat and sitting down. Rose and Emmett were sharing a plate of fries.

"Alice refuses to come into the cafeteria. She's somewhere with Jasper, I think," Rose replied, sticking a fry in her big mouth.

"I say, let them stink bomb us. I can take it like a man," Emmett declared, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, I'm not a man. So, I don't need to take anything," Rose said. "The second I smell something funky, I'm getting the hell out of here."

"I had beans last night, baby. Better watch out," Emmett teased with a smirk.

Rose, who looked thoroughly insulted, moved her chair as far away from Emmett as she could. "That's disgusting. If you're trying to turn me on, you lost."

I rolled my eyes. "This is like foreplay to you guys, isn't it?" I questioned. Emmett always tried to gross Rose out in some way, yet she'd just take it and note how sick he was. Then, later, they'd probably be making out somewhere.

"Hell no," Rose snapped. "He's not coming anywhere near me with his little beans."

Emmett frowned. "You didn't call them little beans last night," he said. "If I distinctly remember, you said, 'Oh, Emmett. Let me suck on your big balls, pleeeeease.'" His tone was high pitched and doing an awful job at imitating her.

Rose grabbed a few fries and chucked them at him angrily. He ducked, but they still hit his head.

"I didn't say that!" Rose yelled.

Emmett slyly leaned into me and whispered, "That's exactly what she said."

"I heard that!" she growled.

I shook my head and looked away as Rose continued to throw fries at Emmett. Without even thinking, my eyes scanned the room for Bella. Since I'd become more aware of her, it seemed second nature for me to look out for her. Of course, I knew she wouldn't be in the lunchroom, because she rarely was, but I still did it.

My eyes drifted to the door, and that was when I saw Alice speed walking in, panting, with an agitated Jasper trying to keep up behind her. Alice froze when she reached our table and slammed her hands down on the surface loudly.

"Edward!" she breathed, trying to catch her breath. It took her a few seconds to calm down.

"What?" I asked.

"Jesus, Alice!" Jasper exclaimed, finally making it to the table. "Did you have to take off like that?"

Alice nodded. "I had to quickly get here just in case the stink bomb goes off."

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing's going to happen," I assured.

Alice narrowed her eyes. "When I get covered in stink, it's your fault. But never mind that!" she snapped. "Why, God, _why _would you look at Lauren Mallory's boobs?"

My mouth fell open. I quickly flashed my eyes to where I knew Lauren sat. She was in a huddle with Jessica Stanley, looking over at me every few seconds. Tyler Crowley, who was sitting with them, was staring daggers at me.

"It's not what it seems," I said, because that was the truth. It was annoying to be the center of gossip. Couldn't people just shut up and live their life?

Alice gasped. "So, it's true?"

"Way to go, Edward. I'm sure Tanya will love that," Rose said.

I glared viciously at her. "No, because I wasn't looking at them for the reason you think. She spilled her books on the floor at my locker. She got on the ground to pick them up, and I helped her. When I stood up, I looked back down at her to help her stand, but her top was low and they were just there. It's not like I did it on purpose."

Rose laughed. "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"I don't really care what you think, Rose," I countered. Emmett lightly hit my arm with the back of his hand, warning me to back off.

"Well, Tyler Crowley said he wants to fight you," Alice said.

"Great," I deadpanned. Lately, it seemed everyone wanted to punch me. I was Forks High School's resident punching bag.

"Tyler and Lauren aren't even dating. Why does he even care?" Rose asked.

"Uh…duh!" Alice exclaimed, annoyed. "Tyler is like, in love with Lauren, even though she won't give him the time of day. I thought everyone knew that."

"Don't worry, Ed. I'll be your bodyguard," Emmett said confidently.

I groaned. "I don't need a bodyguard. I can take care of myself."

"Says the guy who let himself get the snot kicked out of him," Rose muttered.

Annoying. That was what Rose was. Did she ever shut up?

"It's kind of hard to fight back when you're ambushed from behind," I remarked angrily.

Emmett snickered like a little boy. "Rose likes to get ambushed from behind…"

"Stop!" she yelled, and grabbed another handful of fries to chuck at him. Before she could, though, there suddenly was a chorus of "ew" throughout the cafeteria.

"Stink bomb!" some guy shouted loudly, causing the sounds of disgust to turn to screams.

Alice's eyes went wide. "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God," she panicked, and pointed at me accusingly. "I told you! This is all your fault!" She quickly ran away, choosing to leave through the exit that led towards the parking lot. Jasper followed after her, but not before grabbing a fry from Rose's hand.

I looked around the cafeteria and saw everyone flying out the entrance doors, leading to the hallway, abandoning their lunches. Lauren and Jessica were screaming obnoxiously and shoving people out of the way to get past.

"Sweet!" Emmett exclaimed happily.

Rose threw down the fries and collected her things casually. "I'm out of here. Let's go, babe," she said to Emmett.

Emmett grabbed Rose's now empty chair and perched his feet on it. "Nah, baby. I'm staying put. This is too good to not watch." She rolled her eyes and left through the door Alice ran through.

Was I the only one who couldn't smell anything? The cafeteria was now almost empty and people were running up and down the hall outside the lunchroom as if the world was coming to an end.

Then…I smelled it. And holy crap did it reek. The skunky scent washed over me, attacking my nostrils. My face scrunched up in revulsion. I could've gotten up and left like everyone else, but I didn't want to show that I was even acknowledging it.

"Get a whiff of that," Emmett said, placing his hands behind his head. "As douchey as those LP guys are, they still know how to deliver a decent stink bomb."

Principal Banner walked by the lunchroom, rounding up the students and saying, "Alright, alright. Everyone go to their next class period."

Emmett clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue. "Principal B always ruining our fun," he muttered, and gathered his book bag. "Alright, Ed, I'll see you later."

I picked up my bag and stood, but took my time leaving the cafeteria, making sure to breathe through my mouth. Everyone was still running around like crazy, scrambling into classes. The smell was even stronger in the hallway on the first floor. When I hit the stairs, I was grateful that the awful aroma wasn't as pungent anymore, and I finally inhaled through my nose.

I made it into Cooking and grabbed my apron off the coat rack. I dropped my bag at my desk and walked to the back, throwing my apron over my head. Almost all the girls were in class all ready, which was unusual, because usually I was one of the first to arrive, along with Bella, who was nowhere to be seen.

I was a bit anxious to see her today. Yesterday, talking with her was…different. It wasn't as tense and abrupt as the other times had been. I mean, she still had her occasional freak out while talking to me, but she wouldn't be Bella Swan to me if she didn't do that. And I had actually told her I wasn't afraid of her. She told me I should be, but what was there to be afraid of? If she meant the La Push guys, then screw them. They weren't all that scary. How could a few guys who released a stink bomb in the cafeteria be frightening? Plain and simple, they weren't.

As if on cue, Bella entered the classroom, stopping at her desk to drop her bag on the floor. She was sporting a small smile, pressing her lips together as if to hide it. But when she saw me, her face immediately fell. It was rare to see her smile. I almost wished she would do it more often, because when she did, her whole demeanor would change. She wouldn't seem so on edge. I decided to smile at her, just to see if it would cause her to smile back. Didn't they say that smiling was contagious? Or was it laughing? Well, I wasn't going to laugh, so I hoped it was smiling.

She eyed me for a few seconds, but didn't return my smile, which died slowly. She tied her long black hair into a high ponytail and took out her Snoopy apron from her backpack. She put on the apron, tying the back carefully, and took her place behind the counter next to me.

The P.A system suddenly turned on and the voice of Principal Banner echoed throughout the classroom.

"_Students. Today in the lunchroom, a scented bomb was released. If anyone has any information on the perpetrator, please tell a teacher at once. The consequences will be severe with an immediate suspension. Forks High School will not tolerate such unruly and inconsiderate behavior. Please note that what may appear funny initially, could very well ruin your future." _

When the P.A system shut off, Bella snorted quietly, her mouth pressed into a thin line again.

"What's so funny?" I asked her, involuntarily smiling.

Her expression turned serious in a flash and she muttered quietly to herself, "Why do you always have to talk to me?"

My smile grew, knowing that I was irritating her. "Does it bother you?" I asked, knowing full well that it did, but I loved seeing her reactions.

She glared straight ahead, gritting her teeth. "Yes," she spoke quietly, aggravation laced in her tone.

My eyes roamed down her slim body and back up. When I realized what I was doing, my eyes snapped back to her face, greedily taking in her profile. "Is it annoying?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes, still refusing to look at me. "Yes."

"Do you want me to stop?"

She huffed. "Fucking _yes_," she growled.

I shrugged. "Too bad," I teased. She turned her body completely away from me, and all I could look at was her head…or her back…or her…butt. "Why don't you like talking to me?"

"I have nothing to say," she spoke, the back of her ponytail swaying slightly, exposing her long, smooth neck.

"Then, maybe that's a problem on my part. From now on, I'll just ask you questions so that you'll have to answer me."

She didn't respond, but remained facing away from me. Her shoulders were tense and her neck appeared stiff. She looked like she needed a good massage or something. I was actually really good at them. My mother would beg me to give them to her occasionally, which I would. No one knew that I massaged my mom, though, and I didn't plan on telling anyone.

"So, did your friends enjoying setting off that bomb?" I questioned. I figured from her reaction to Principal Banner talking about it over the P.A system that she knew about it firsthand. She didn't bother replying, though. "Did you help?" Nothing. "How's your lighter?" She turned her head a little, but I still couldn't see her face. "So, since I saved it and all…would you consider us buddies?"

She spun around quickly. "Whaaaat?" she asked incredulously, looking disgusting.

I smiled triumphantly, knowing I'd gotten her to talk and even look at me. She didn't look happy, though. In fact, she looked pissed. Truthfully, I was just joking about the "buddies" thing, trying to get a reaction out of her, but to be honest, it was a bit disheartening that she seemed repulsed by the very idea of being my friend.

"So, you wouldn't classify us as friends?" I asked her.

She laughed darkly. "I don't do _friends_."

I frowned. "Not even acquaintances?"

She shook her head, her ponytail whipping side to side. "I don't do that shit, either."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then, what are the La Push guys to you?" She hung out with them all the time. She couldn't deny that she wasn't friends with them.

Her heated gaze penetrated through me, her eyes turning to slits. The expression she wore was almost identical to that of when I asked her about the Port Angeles rumor. She took a small step towards me, but I didn't step back, in fact, I stood up straighter.

"It would be wise of you to not go poking your nose in places it doesn't belong," she warned in almost a whisper. She lifted a brow, challenging me, and then turned to face forward.

Mrs. Cope entered the class in a flurry, asking us if we had any information on who set off the stink bomb. I cast Bella a sideways glance and found that she was casting me one, too. She quickly snapped her head back to look at Mrs. Cope. I could've very easily told her who it was, or at least who I suspected, but I didn't. It wouldn't have served any purpose other than being a rat.

When no one said anything, Mrs. Cope commenced the lesson, telling us we were making Cheese Ravioli today. I worked hard through the lesson, trying my best to work with the pasta dough. It wasn't as hard as some of the other dishes we'd made previously, which I was thankful for. In the end, my Ravioli turned out fairly decent. Some of the Ravioli's looked a bit crooked, but hey, at least I tried and didn't even complain internally.

Mrs. Cope made the rounds, tasting our dishes. She got to Bella and, no surprise there, enjoyed her meal, going back for a second taste. But, when it was my turn, she approached me cautiously. She tasted my pasta, and actually smiled contentedly. Even though she appeared to like it, she told me next time to add a little less salt. She should've been grateful it wasn't pepper this time.

After I cleaned my spot on the counter, I collected my bag. I noticed Bella was sitting at her desk, hunched over while writing something on a ripped up piece of paper. I debated whether to try talking to her again, but decided against it. She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to speak to me. And even though I rather liked getting reactions out of her, I didn't like being ignored.

I took off my apron and walked over to the coat rack by the door. When I placed it on a hook, I felt a light tapping at the top of my back near the spine of my neck. I looked over my shoulder and saw Bella behind me with a wary expression. She suddenly slipped something in my pocket, and then practically ran out of the classroom.

"Bella," I called after her, walking to the door hastily to see how far she'd gotten down the hall. But when I stepped out, I came face to face with someone I didn't expect to see leaning against the frame of the door.

"Why did Bella Swan just put something in your pocket?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Aw, man. Just when it was getting interesting...  
**

**Next chapter is already written. So, if you review, I'll give you a teaser. I'm so proud of myself for writing it ahead of schedule. Anyway, it's fairly long and has a LOT of B/E interaction. Prepare to shift gears. :-)  
**

**Note: The legal drinking age in Italy is 16. Irina and Kate are 17, so it's perfectly fine for them to be hammered, even though morally it's wrong. Shame on them. **

**Also, if you want to see how I see the characters, you can check out the polyvores I made, which are linked to on my profile under "Chapter 1". I'll be adding more as the story plays out. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **

**I had this chapter done early and beta'd, so I thought I'd post it a day or so earlier than normal so that I'm not sitting and staring at it. **

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26, who apparently has a crush on Bella now. lol. That's okay, I have a crush on ballsy Bella, too. And a thanks to my pre-reader Renas40, who continues to amaze me with her sharp attention to detail. God, woman! **

**Here we go, shifting gears…

* * *

**

I was at a loss for what to say. If I even knew what was in my pocket right now, then I could decide if I wanted to tell the truth or not, but, as it was, I had no clue what was in there. For all I knew, she could've slipped me some poisonous rat repellent disguised as candy. But, whatever was in there wasn't heavy, so maybe that wasn't it. That meant it definitely wasn't more quarters, thank _God_.

Emmett raised an eyebrow at me, probably because I still hadn't replied to him. His stance against the door frame was unwavering, but his eyes would dart down to my pocket every now and then.

"Ed, dude, what did she give you?" he asked impatiently.

I shrugged as I walked past him and out of the classroom. "No clue," was all I could say. Hopefully, he would leave it at that. But in a flash, he reached into my pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. My reflexes weren't quick enough to grab it back from him. "Emmett! What the hell?"

He opened the folded note, his eyes scanning it greedily. I made another move to grab it back, but he blocked me with his arm, still reading. I began to panic. What could she have written on there? I tried to recall our conversation in class to see if it was in response to anything we'd spoken about, but we hadn't really even talked besides me trying to get reactions out of her.

Emmett laughed and pocketed the note. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. All the students were hurrying to their next class, but we were still standing at the far end of the hallway on the second floor.

"Em," I scolded, "will you give that back to me, please?"

He nodded coolly. "Yeah, sure, I'll give it back to you," he said, "if you tell me when you started hanging with Bella."

I groaned. This was my worst fear realized; one of my friends finding out I'd been talking to Bella. I wasn't sure why that would be so bad, but it just was to me. Bella wasn't someone I would ever consider hanging out with, but for some inexplicable reason, I'd been drawn to her the last several days. I should've stopped talking to her after the day she gave me that note not to buy her another apple…but I didn't.

"I'm not really hanging out with Bella," I told him, and began walking towards the staircase when I noticed that class would be starting soon. "She's in Cooking with me, so we've spoken once or twice."

He chuckled and followed me. "Once or twice? I don't think so. Not from the looks of the note she gave you."

I raised an eyebrow. Now I was desperate to know what it said. Did I even want to know? "What did it say?"

"That she loves you," he said.

My eyes grew wide, and I froze halfway down the stairs. "What?" I choked loudly, my entire body stiffening.

He broke out into a grin and howled with laughter. "Your face! Classic, man. You're gullible as hell," he joked through obnoxious guffaws.

I narrowed my eyes and continued down the steps. "What were you doing outside my class, anyway?"

"I told you. I'm bodyguarding you from Tyler."

"I don't think 'bodyguarding' is an adjective, Em," I said.

"Ten bucks says it is."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, I said I didn't need protection. Tyler's nothing but talk." Tyler Crowley was on the football team, and although he probably would want to deck me, he wouldn't because he was trying to get a football scholarship. He'd be an even bigger dumbass if he jeopardized that.

Just as the bell rang, we walked into AP Lit. The television on wheels was set up at the front of the class, which meant we were going to be tortured with a movie today. Mr. Berty told us we'd be watching _Much Ado About Nothing_. Since I'd already seen it, I was glad just to sit back and dwell in my own frantic thoughts about Bella and the note she gave me…even though the note wasn't in my possession. On top of that, Emmett kept giving me sly glances out of the corner of his eye with a smirk, and it was bugging the hell out of me.

When the lights were off and the movie was ten minutes in, Emmett passed me a bunched up piece of paper. My heart began to race and I bit my lower lip lightly when I realized it could be Bella's note. As quietly as I could, I opened it under my desk anxiously, in between my legs.

_**What's going on with you and Bella?**_

I looked over at Emmett, who was doing a poor job of staring at the television screen. I set the crinkled paper on my desk and wrote underneath his words.

_**I told you. We talked a few times in Cooking. That's all.**_

Mr. Berty was engrossed in a book at his desk, so I threw the note on Emmett's desk. He opened the note and hunched over as he read it. I took a moment to look at the TV screen. Emma Thompson, who played Beatrice, was speaking in confusing riddles as she argued with Kenneth Branagh's character, Benedick. They both couldn't understand each other because they were too much alike. It sort of reminded me of Bella and myself. I couldn't say we were alike in any way, but we definitely couldn't relate to each other. She was mildly crazy, while I was actually sane. She seemed like she was from the rough side of the tracks, while I grew up in above-average comfort.

A balled up paper landed in my lap. Emmett was snickering to himself about something, and I quickly opened the note.

_**So, was that rumor true that she gave you head? How was it? Include details.**_

I glared at Emmett, who was still smiling like an idiot. I figured he was joking, but it wasn't funny at all. I bunched up the note and shoved it in my bag, not bothering to reply to him. Emmett actually pouted.

I knew Emmett loved Rose, it was obvious in the way he always had his tongue shoved down her throat, but I also knew that he was infatuated by Bella, just like every other goon in this school.

_That means you're just as much a goon as all the other guys. _

Yeah, but I had actually interacted with her on occasion, so I had more of a reason than any other guy. And it wasn't like I was infatuated because I wanted to sleep with her. I just wanted to figure her out.

Another note landed in my lap. I thought Emmett had gotten the message that I didn't want to pass notes anymore with him. I reluctantly opened it.

_**YOU REALLY WANNA BE "BUDDIES"? MEET ME AT THE LOT TONIGHT AT 8.**_

I raised an eyebrow. The writing was in harsh block letters, much like Bella's writing. I looked at Emmett, who was observing me carefully. I brought my attention back to the note, reading it several times, trying to absorb what it said.

She wanted to meet me. She wanted to be friends. Or maybe it was all an elaborate hoax to get me to leave her alone. What were the chances that I'd meet her and then get the wind knocked out of me by one of the La Push guys? The odds were stacked high. But, then again, maybe she actually did want to hang out. That would be weird. What would we even do? Talk? We weren't really good at doing that on a daily basis, so how would we even manage a conversation?

_Wait. Am I actually considering meeting her? _

No, I couldn't. Not only would that entail me breaking my father's rules, when I was supposed to be grounded, but that would also mean that I'd be crossing a line that I didn't think I wanted to cross. The fact of the matter was, Bella and I couldn't be _friends_, even if she was pulling the wool over my eyes or not. All my friends were good people. They never got in trouble and they worked hard in school. Mind you, Emmett was a bit perverted, but we weren't all perfect. Bella, on the other hand, she was just all wrong. She wasn't a good person—at least, from what I knew. She'd gotten arrested, hung out with guys who bullied the student body for fun, and she was ruining her lungs by smoking every day. All of that wasn't me. So, Bella and I couldn't be friends at all. Friends had to be like-minded, which we weren't.

"Mr. Cullen, is there something more interesting under your desk than the movie?" Mr. Berty spoke loudly over the television.

I quickly crumpled up the note and kept it hidden in my fist. A few quiet snickers sounded around me. "No, Mr. Berty," I replied, and pretended to watch the movie.

"Hey, Ed," I heard Emmett whisper. I glanced at him quickly, but tried to keep my focus on the television screen. "Are you really going to see her tonight?"

I knew that I couldn't. All the way around, it was best that I didn't even acknowledge Bella from now on. I was getting way too wrapped up in her, and it had to stop. I would make sure of it.

"No," I whispered back, rolling the note unconsciously in my hand.

X-X-X-X

"Wanna order a pizza?" Jasper asked me.

We were lounging out in the living room, finishing our homework. I always had a habit of doing my homework first thing Friday afternoon after I came home from school, that way I didn't have to do anything across the weekend.

"No pizza!" my mom shouted from the kitchen. "I'm making dinner right now."

"Aunt Esme, it's Friday. Do we really have to eat normal food?" Jasper questioned.

"Yes," she replied sternly.

Jasper groaned, and I laughed. Once my mom would decide she wanted to cook something, we had to eat it, no questions asked. It wasn't like my mom was a bad cook, so I wasn't sure why Jasper was complaining. I'd take my mom's cooking over any greasy pizza.

"Can I borrow your Environment Science textbook?" Jasper queried.

"Yep," I answered, and flipped open the flap of my bag on the couch next to me.

Just as I was taking out the book, the front door opened. My dad walked into the entryway, set down his briefcase, and shook off his coat. He looked into the living room at us.

I hadn't really spoken to my dad since he'd taken away my car. Things were pretty tense between us, and I was still angry at him for not letting me explain that I didn't give Alec those bruises. It wasn't as if he made a substantial effort to talk to me, anyway. If he had something to say to me, he'd make my mom pass the message along. I could tell my mom was getting upset having to do it, but I couldn't figure out why she was, then. My mom had never been afraid to tell my father off in the past, so why now? Maybe she also believed that I was getting into fights and beating up kids.

"What are you two working on?" my father asked.

"Environmental Science," Jasper answered, and took the book from my tightened grasp.

I turned my attention back to my homework, not bothering to answer him.

"And you, Edward?" my dad questioned.

I shrugged, without looking up. "AP Literature," I muttered.

"Good," he said simply after a few moments, and walked into the kitchen.

I could hear my parents quietly arguing in the kitchen, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Jasper looked up in the direction of the kitchen, then back at me.

"You think they're getting a divorce?" Jasper asked.

I frowned and strained to listen to what my parents were quietly fighting about. They couldn't be getting a divorce. They'd been together since…forever. There was no way. Then again, that could explain why they were fighting all the time, and why my father was more stern than usual lately. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if they did separate. Where would they both go? Who would I live with? The thought of our family being separated would destroy me. As strained as our family had been lately, it was still a family. These days, families were always being torn apart by divorce, and I hated to think that that could be us.

I didn't want to listen to this anymore, so I packed up my homework in my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I'm going up to my room."

Later that evening, I had nothing to do but lay on my bed. I could've watched TV, but I didn't want to risk getting yelled at.

Dinner had been really awkward. No one had spoken a word to each other, except to Jasper. My father wouldn't acknowledge my mother and vice versa. I, on the other hand, wasn't even there to them. If I'd choked on my mother's lamb roast, they still wouldn't have realized I was in their presence. Jasper talked to my dad for a bit about some special effects course he wanted to take that taught people how to design effects for film and television, then he spoke to my mother about Alice and how her parents wanted to meet him, and finally, he tried to speak to me about my swim meet on Saturday. I pretty much just nodded and barely listened to what he said. Thankfully, he gave up after a while.

I looked around my room for something to do. Everything was neatly in place; the clothes in my closet nicely hung, my desk organized, my floor completely bare besides a gray rug. Any adult would take a look at my room and say that I was a clean person, but to someone my age, they'd say I was boring. I was beginning to think I actually was. It was a Friday night, and I was locked in my room with nothing to do. The highlight of my evening had been doing my AP Civics homework.

Normally, on a Friday evening, I'd be out with my friends, either at one of their houses, or hanging out in Port Angeles. We'd go see a movie; get some dinner. The girls would run around afterward to look at the shops, while Emmett, Jasper, and I would busy ourselves in the music store, which also had a bunch of DVDs. I'd always end up leaving with at least three new movies to watch. Jasper would usually buy some lame indie band's CD.

I glanced over at my alarm clock. _7:35 p.m. _

Bella's note said to meet her at eight. Only twenty-five minutes away. It normally took me fifteen minutes to get to school, depending on how fast I drove. I could be there in ten minutes if I went really fast.

_NO. _

Was I really back to contemplating this? I absolutely could NOT go see her because, one, I didn't have a car, and two, I…I just couldn't! Although, if I was really quiet, I could sneak downstairs and grab my car keys from my father's den…

And, we were back to this.

Why did I keep trying to think of ways to see her? I couldn't lie that I wasn't interested to know what exactly she had planned. Then again, I was definitely not interested in getting sucker punched for a second time.

I looked at the clock again. _7:37 p.m_. Twenty-three minutes to go.

What if she had something important to say? No, she said she just wanted to be friends. But friends could have important things to say, right? If we were going to be friends, we'd have a lot of important things to say—No! There was absolutely no way I could be her friend. Not a chance in hell.

I cast the clock a sideways glance. _7:38 p.m_.

_Crap. _

I stood and went over to my bag. I retrieved my cell phone and stuck it in my back pocket. As quietly as I could, I opened my door, listening out for my parents. They must've all ready gone up to their bedroom on the third floor, which was good because they wouldn't hear me go downstairs. When I stepped into the hallway, I could hear Jasper playing video games inside his bedroom. He was clearly playing one of those shooting games, because he was making mock firing sounds with his mouth.

I crept down the stairs, stopping abruptly when the floorboards creaked underneath. When I got to the last step, I sighed in relief, knowing half the journey was almost over. I glanced towards the living room, just in case my mother or father were still up. All the lights were off, which meant I was in the clear. My father's study door usually made a bit of noise when it opened, so I'd have to go slow and open it little by little to try to avoid sounds. I grabbed onto the gold knob firmly, turning it just a bit…

"What are you doing?"

I released the knob and spun around. Jasper was standing at the top of the staircase, looking curiously at me. He walked down a few steps and eyed the door to my father's den.

"Are you trying to go into his study?" he asked in a frantic whisper.

It had always been an unspoken rule that we weren't allowed to go into my dad's den unless he allowed us to. As kids, when Jasper would come over with his parents, we'd pretend to go on safaris around the house, and the den was always the forbidden place where the monsters dwelled. We'd end up shooting the den door with our finger guns and then declare that the monsters were dead because of our bravery.

"He'll go nuts if he catches you," Jasper said.

Well, I wasn't planning on getting caught, now was I?

"Just go back to your room," I whispered. It didn't concern him. If he could've just minded his own business, I might've been out of here quicker. I tried to refrain from instinctively checking my watch to see how much time I had left.

Realization etched on his face suddenly. "Are you trying to get your keys?"

How did he know? Since when did he become the all-knowing Swami Jasper? If I told him the truth, maybe he'd leave me alone. My fear was that my parents would find out. Jasper never intentionally spilled my secrets, but he had a loose mouth. I knew that he would try to keep it a secret, but it may slip if he were prodded.

I began to wonder if this was even worth it, going out to meet a girl who wanted to be friends, but usually ignored me. It was risky, and I could get in even more trouble if my parents found out I was missing from my room, not that they ever checked on me after they went to bed, but you never know. Was Bella Swan worth it?

"Yeah," I said honestly. "You're not going to stop me, are you?"

The corners of his mouth turned up slowly. "Nah, but I don't think you should take your car."

I raised an eyebrow. My other choice would be to walk or steal my neighbor's five year old daughter's pink tricycle. I refused to do either.

Jasper walked over to the door and grabbed his keys off the key rack. "Take mine." He threw them at me. I caught them with one hand.

"You're giving me your car?" I asked.

He laughed quietly. "I'm not _giving _you my Saab, but you can borrow it for tonight. I won't even ask you where you're going." He shifted his eyes. "Just don't dent it or anything," he added.

He was willingly lending me his car. Hell, I could never do the same for him. I'd freak out that he'd dirty it or forget to put gas in it or something. "Wow," was all I could say. "Thanks, Jazz. I appreciate this…" It was considerably nice of him, considering I didn't treat him all that well most of the time.

He slapped a hand on my shoulder. "No prob, man. I'll cover for you if your parents try to look for you."

"What about if they see your car's gone?" I questioned.

"Don't worry; I'll take care of it," he promised. He walked over to the door, unlocked it, and turned the handle quietly. "See ya later, Ed."

I nodded and walked past the threshold towards the driveway. I heard the door shut softly behind me, and the kitchen light flicked on. I exhaled shakily as I approached Jasper's Saab and manually opened the door. There was a McDonald's bag on the driver's seat, which caused me to groan. I grabbed it roughly and threw it in the back. Taking one last look at the house, I saw the kitchen light go off. I climbed in and instantly felt cramped. Jasper had shorter legs than me, even though we were roughly the same height. I adjusted the seat and mirrors, then stuck the key into the ignition. When the engine roared to life, I nearly had a panic attack. That sounded way too loud; my parents surely had to have heard it. I watched the third floor of the house for any lights turning on, but nothing happened. I put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway smoothly, then into drive.

I felt a sort of blissful freedom as I drove down my street towards the main highway. It was surreal. Almost as if I had been locked up in prison for years and was finally venturing out into the world on my own. I knew this liberation, though unbeknownst to my parents, would be short lived, but I decided I would take full advantage of it while I could, even if it was just for one night.

I looked at the time on the dashboard. _7:48 p.m_. I could make it there in ten minutes if I hurried. Hopefully I wouldn't run into any red lights on the way.

I raced over to Forks High, smiling the whole way, yet incredibly anxious to see what was going to happen. I was also a bit nervous. I would be spending more than a few minutes with Bella. What would I say to her? I suddenly became very aware of what I was wearing. I had on a dark brown cashmere sweater and jeans, but my hair wasn't gelled like it normally was. I'd washed it all out in the shower when I got home from school. Had I remembered to brush my teeth after I ate? Why was I even worried about that?

I pulled into the darkened lot a minute after eight. My headlights illuminated part of the parking lot, and from what I could see, there wasn't a red Chevy nearby. I looked behind me onto the street to see if she'd parked there instead, but the street was completely void of cars. I cut the engine and opened the door. The car beeped incessantly until I shut the door. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and checked the time.

_8:02 p.m._

Had I read the time wrong on the note? Maybe it said nine and I was almost an hour early. I looked around again. There was no one in sight. The school was completely dark. I began to get even more nervous. She was definitely messing with me earlier. There was no way she'd want to meet me here. This had to be a trick of hers, and the La Push guys were going to pop out any minute and take turns punching me. My body would be found on the side of the road after they ran over it a few times with their cars.

_What the hell am I doing here? This is ridiculous._

This wasn't me, sneaking out of my house to see some girl who wasn't even here. I needed to go home and back into my room where I was at least warm and safe. Hell, I would even challenge Jasper to a round of Nintendo Brawl, if he wanted.

I was just about to grab the door handle, when I heard some leaves rustling. I turned my head towards the bushes, but I couldn't see a damn thing. There weren't even lights on along the street to illuminate the way. A few twigs snapped, and I jumped. I desperately needed to leave now.

"Cutting it fine, huh, Richie?"

I could see the outline of a woman in the dark heading over to the car. "Bella?" I called out dumbly.

She appeared on the other side of the car and slowly walked around to me. "Who the hell else would it be?" She stopped when she reached me. In the darkness, I could faintly make out that she was wearing her standard black tank, black jeans, blue eye shadow, and red lipstick. She pursed her lips as she eyed the car. She huffed and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

She stopped and turned around. "Well, you wanted to be _buddies_, so let's go." She spun back around and headed towards the bushes.

"Wait," I called out, jogging up to her. "Are we going behind there?" I pointed to the wild shrubbery lining the side of the parking lot.

"Can you not see that's where I'm fucking walking?" she asked angrily, and began muttering something. All I could catch was "I swear…don't…why…you"

"What?" I questioned.

She sighed dramatically. "Are you fucking coming or what?"

"Yes," I replied meekly, though I was scared out of my mind.

"Well, then, hurry the fuck up," she demanded, and turned towards the bushes. She separated the leaves, and walked through.

I had to admit, I'd been curious why she always disappeared into the bushes and what was behind there. A part of me wanted to know, but another part didn't want to. I wanted to stay naïve and just imagine what I thought was behind there. Over time, a lot of theories had been cooked up about what was there and why Bella and the La Push guys always vanished there. For a while, people were convinced that they murdered some freshman kid and hid the body in the woods, but then it turned out that the kid transferred to the high school in Port Angeles, so that rumor was pretty much debunked. There had been several other rumors about it, but most were just ludicrous to the point of not being plausible.

I pushed apart some leaves and tried to step through. The sticks were sharp and scraped against my shirt, poking me in the chest. I screwed my eyes shut as I tried to maneuver out of the shrubs' leafy claws. When I got out of there, I came into contact with…nothing. Literally. I couldn't see a damn thing. Everything was pitch black and creepy sounds were coming from deep within the forest. I almost took a few steps back, deciding if I should run back to the car or not. A stick snapped, and I gasped.

"Jesus fuck, Richie. You're like a nun's pussy getting a Brazilian wax," I heard Bella say nearby, but I couldn't see her.

"Where are you?" I asked. "How can you even see where you're going?"

She laughed. "Didn't you know? I have fucking night vision." I could hear her footsteps grow distant. I followed the sound, keeping my hands out in front of me, just in case I bumped into anything. A few times, a branch collided with my face, but overall, I managed to successfully walk through the forest without dying.

When I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, I began to freak out. "Bella?" I called frantically.

In the distance, I saw a spark ignite and a flame float in the middle of the dark. "Folloooow the flaaaame, Richie," Bella drawled in a mock-creepy voice. If I wasn't so damn petrified, I would've rolled my eyes at her ability to joke when I was nearly crapping myself.

It seemed like we'd been walking for hours, but it'd only been a few minutes. I reached her and I could see a small smirk on her half lit face, illuminated by her biohazard lighter. She continued to walk, and I followed directly behind her. With the small amount of light shining from her lighter, I couldn't see much except her, but I could barely make out that we were approaching a fairly small sized structure. We got closer and closer and it began to form into the shape of a house or perhaps a shack. It was too small to be a house. It was made of purely wood, which looked rough and worn out. There were two gaping holes in the front. One was the shape of a horizontal rectangle, indicating that at one point, there had been actual windows in place there, and the second was a vertical rectangle in the shape of a doorway, leading inside to more darkness.

Bella flicked off her lighter, ceasing my ability to see properly, and she stepped inside. I hung back in the doorway, listening as she searched around for something. I, honestly, had no clue how she could see what she was doing, but, then again, she did many things that baffled me.

She ignited her lighter again and brought it down to a thin white candle, which was held up in place by an old fashioned brass candle holder set on a wooden crate. She turned and lit another one nearby on another crate. When the shack was decently lit, I could make out the expanse of the room which could probably hold ten people. A very short table stood in the center, which was covered by a ratty, dirty red picnic cloth. Surrounding it were four small wooden crates turned upside down. A few closed cardboard boxes were sidled up against the wall, and there was, what appeared to be, a clunky boombox stacked on top that looked as if it showed up from the depths of the eighties.

Bella took the boombox off the boxes and set it down on the wooden floorboards. The sounds of glass clanking together rang throughout the shack as she searched inside the box. She pulled out a dusty brown bottle. The lettering on it was faded, but I could faintly make out part of it that said whiskey. She took out two red Solo cups, and sat on one of the crates.

"Sit," she demanded, uncorking the bottle. She poured a little whiskey in both cups.

I fully stepped into the shack, the floorboards creaking beneath my feet, and walked to the crate opposite her, where I sat down awkwardly. They weren't exactly comfortable to sit on. She slid a cup across the table to me, and I took it hesitantly.

"I didn't poison it…" she assured, grabbing her own cup, "yet…" She smiled to herself as she gulped down her liquor as if it were water.

I smiled, too, feeling a bit more at ease now. I wasn't worried that she poisoned it, I'd just never been a big alcohol drinker. I'd had wine a few times and maybe a beer once, but other than that, liquor was pretty new to me. I brought the cup up to my lips and took a small sip. The dark liquid instantly burned my throat and burned a hot trail down through my chest, warming my entire body. The taste was strong, harsh, and disgusting.

I noticed Bella pouring more whiskey into her cup, and I took the opportunity to watch her closely. I wasn't sure why she'd brought me here, and what it meant, but whatever this place was, she clearly knew it intimately. Even though it was dark, cold, and dangerous outside, she seemed comfortable and at peace in this beaten up old shack in the middle of the woods.

I took another sip and cringed as a scorching shiver ran through me. This stuff was nasty.

"God, you are such a goody two shoes," Bella remarked snidely. I glared at her and set my cup down on the table. She poured a bit more whiskey into my cup, and then placed the cork in the bottle again. "You'll get used to it."

Déjà vu struck as I recalled her saying the same thing the first time I smoked. "You say that for everything," I noted.

She merely shrugged, and downed the contents of her cup. I was surprised she could handle the taste.

"So, why'd you bring me here?" I asked.

"I thought it was pretty obvious," she stated vaguely, looking down at the picnic cloth.

I huffed. "Why do you always avoid answering questions properly?"

Her eyes flashed to mine. "You said you wanted to be buddies, right? Well, this is us being buddies." She gestured to the whiskey bottle.

"I didn't think you'd actually take what I said to heart," I said honestly. "I was just kidding about the being buddies thing."

Something carnal flashed deep within her eyes, and because it was damn spooky in here, I was actually a bit scared of her.

She stood up and glared down at me. "Why the fuck did I bring you here, then?" she questioned venomously, but it seemed more like she was asking herself. "You said you wanted to be buddies or whatever the fuck you called it, and now you don't?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion. I couldn't understand why she cared so much; then again, I couldn't understand why I was here to begin with. "No, I never said that I don't want to now," I said. I mean, I was here, inside this dingy looking pile of wood. I think it was pretty safe to say that I wanted to at least get to know her. As far as being friends…it was still hard for my mind to wrap around that.

I noticed she wasn't sitting down again, and I wondered if I offended her somehow. In order to show her I was committed to this weird peace offering, I took a generous pull of whiskey. It was actually starting not to taste as bad now. She sat back down and snatched the whiskey bottle, pouring herself more liquor.

"Where exactly did you get this whiskey?" I asked.

She shrugged and set the bottle down. "There was a bunch of old shit here when we found it."

"When you say 'we,' you mean…?"

She eyed me over her cup as she took a long pull. She set the cup down, but didn't offer a response.

"Alright, fine. Don't answer. I'll get it out of you eventually," I teased.

She stood immediately and walked over to the boxes. I could barely see her, but I thought I saw a small smile flash across her face in the darkness. She looked through the box, and then pulled out two modestly small items. She came back over and threw down on the table a withered old deck of playing cards as well as a dusty black ashtray, which read _Stork Club _on the front.

"Deal," she commanded. Out of nowhere, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She fired up one and took a long drag, blowing smoking between us. Her shoulders slumped in relaxation.

I took out the old style print cards and began shuffling. I'd played a lot of cards with my family over the years. I wouldn't say I was an expert, but I definitely knew how to keep up in almost any game.

"What are we playing?" I asked, showing off a bit by fanning the cards out across the table.

"You call the shots," she replied simply, paying more attention to her cigarette than me.

"Know how to play Pinochle?"

She raised an eyebrow. "No."

I gathered the cards and reshuffled, biding time. "What about black jack?"

"No." She tapped her cigarette, releasing the ash into the ashtray.

"War?"

"No."

I paused, trying to rack my brain for more card games. "Speed?"

She looked taken aback for a second. "No."

I sighed and placed the cards on the table, perfectly straight and even. "Go Fish?"

She didn't answer immediately, but after a moment, she, of course, said, "No."

Did this girl know how to play _anything_? "Okay, do you actually know a game? I'm fresh out of ideas."

She set her cigarette into a crevice of the ashtray, and grabbed the cards. She began reshuffling, almost better than I did. She actually did it the proper way of cutting the deck in half and pushing down on the two split decks, while I did it the poor man's way by shuffling the bottom cards over the top repeatedly. She dealt out ten cards each and placed the rest in the center of the table. She took the top card and flipped it over next to the face down pile. I was beginning to think she was lying about not knowing how to play anything.

She casually picked up her cards, holding it almost up to her face. I watched as her eyes darted back and forth while she organized her cards. I wasn't even sure what we were playing, so I just sat there, watching her. Her brow was tense, furrowed in concentration, her lips were pursed slightly. She eyed me over her cards.

"Pick up your cards," she ordered.

I picked them up and glanced briefly at my top card, which was an eight of hearts. "What are we playing?"

"Gin rummy," she said in a condescending tone, as if I should've known automatically what we were doing.

"Okay, what exactly do I do?"

She placed her cards face down, and then, before I could even protest, grabbed mine out my hand. She quickly fanned my cards out in her hand and moved them around swiftly. When she was done, she slammed them in front of me, and picked up her cards again.

I chuckled. Wow, she had no shame. "Bella, you just cheated."

"I don't remember what you had," she said, but I could see a small smile begging to break free on her lips.

"I still don't know how to play, you know."

She sighed and shut her eyes for a moment, her face relaxing. When she opened them, her sight went back to her cards. "We take turns picking up a card from either the upcard or the stockpile, and then add it to our cards. If that card follows the same suit or number of any other card, or contributes to a sequence of three or more, then keep it and throw away a spare card. If you don't want it, throw it in the discard pile. If you have at least three or four sets, you can call gin. Aces low; jokers wild," she explained quickly.

I stared at her with my mouth agape. Not just because of her detailed explanation. "You just managed to say more than one sentence without cussing."

She rolled her eyes. "Fuck you."

I grinned and we began to play. I really had no clue what I was doing, but I tried to follow her lead as much as I could. During the entire gameplay, she kept pouring me more and more whiskey. I'd drink it, just so she wouldn't get angry, but I half wondered how the bottle wasn't running out. After a couple more drinks, and a few times of losing to Bella, I deemed the bottle "the neverending whiskey." I thought I was pretty clever referencing _The Neverending Story_, but Bella had no clue what movie that even was, so it went unnoticed.

After my fourth drink, I was starting to get more comfortable around Bella. Before, it had been a bit tense and everything was uncertain. In turn, she loosened up, too, as much as she could. We started to slowly talk during the gameplay about nonsensical things as we tried to distract the other from playing properly.

"You know, you're not all that bad," I blurted. The whiskey was starting to affect my verbal filter, I think.

"Yeah?" she questioned, picking up a card from the stockpile. "You're not all that good."

I thought about this for a moment. Maybe I wasn't that good like everyone assumed I was, after all. There had been some things I'd done the last few days that people would never believe I did, including sitting in a dark forest with Bella Swan. "Maybe we're like yin and yang," I offered.

She furrowed her brow. "First of all, there is no _we_, second of all…who the fuck is yin and yang?"

I frowned inwardly at her mention of us not being a _we_. Though, I wasn't sure why. "You know, that little circle that's split in half. One side is white, the other is dark, and on each side is a little bit of the other color."

Bella grabbed another card from the pile nonchalantly and placed it in her deck. "Why is it like that?" she asked.

I laughed at her. "Bella, you _cheat_."

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Don't think I didn't see that," I scolded with a smile.

"I didn't do nothing!" she exclaimed. I eyed her pointedly, and she huffed. "Oh, alright." She threw the extra card she had sneakily taken on the upcard pile. "You owe me a fucking card."

I snorted and shook my head. "Anyway, the symbol represents day and night. There's a little bit of each other in both because they can't exist without the other."

She threw a card down. "No, that's not us. I can very well exist without you fucking around in my life," she said.

I pursed my lips and grabbed a card from the stockpile. "That's not the point, though. Night and day may think they can exist without the other, but they can't."

"I'm pretty sure I know if I can exist without your pansy ass, thank you. But I'm not sure you can exist without me," she remarked with a playful smirk.

I threw down a card I didn't want, and took a pull of my whiskey, which was all ready causing me to become lightheaded. "No, I can exist without you," I said seriously.

She suddenly threw her cards face down and stretched her arms in front of her. "Okay, I'm done playing this shit." She grabbed her cup and guzzled down the rest of her whiskey. Her eyes were becoming unfocused, and I could tell she was steadily growing drunk. I wondered if I looked the same. I could certainly feel myself changing; almost as if I couldn't control my thoughts and physical movements as much.

She stood and corked the whiskey, then placed it back into the box. She returned and sat on the crate again. "It must be past your bedtime by now," she joked.

I looked at the time on my phone, which read 9:53 p.m. I couldn't believe we'd been out here for almost two hours, and I hadn't even noticed. "No, I don't have a curfew. I'm not even supposed to be out of my room," I blurted.

"Why not?" she questioned curiously.

I shrugged. "I got grounded. My parents don't know I'm out here."

She laughed. "You got _grounded_? Oh damn. Call the fucking police! There's a fucking Richie on the loose." I rolled my eyes. "And what happens when your parents find out you're not in your princess bed?"

I was pretty sure I actually growled, but I couldn't be sure with the amount of alcohol affecting my brain. "I don't have a princess bed. It's your standard _king_ sized bed," I affirmed. "And I have my cousin, Jasper, covering for me."

She nodded. "That surfer blonde headed guy that draws weird ass pictures on his binders?"

I laughed. "Yeah, that's him."

"He's always with that midget looking chick. They suck face a lot," she remarked, casting her eyes down.

"That's Alice. They started dating recently," I explained. I glanced at her dimly lit face. She appeared sad, for some reason.

"So, why'd you get grounded?" she asked.

I darted my eyes away. I didn't want to tell her the reason I'd gotten grounded, mainly because it indirectly involved her. "Pass," I said.

"Pass?" she sputtered incredulously. "That's so fucking lame, Richie, but whatever floats your goddamn boat. Not like I give a flying fuck."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then, why'd you ask?"

"It's called making conversation. You should try it some time."

I laughed loudly at the absurdity of what she said. I'd only ever tried to talk to her while she'd blown me off or given me vague answers. "Right," was all I bothered to say.

"I'm fucking shocked Mr. Does It All would get grounded. Aren't you fucking studying to be a rocket scientist or some shit?" she questioned.

I looked at her curiously. "No, not a rocket scientist. I'm not _that_ smart."

"Then, what?"

I scratched the back of my neck uncomfortably. "Just a doctor."

She brought her legs up to sit in a pretzel on the crate. "You don't sound so convinced on that."

"I am," I replied automatically.

"Right, whatever," she muttered, and looked at the burning candle, which was half gone now. The other candle had completely burned out sometime during the night.

I sighed and grabbed the corner of the table cloth, rubbing it between my fingers. "My dad is a doctor. He really wants me to be one, too. He has high hopes for me."

Her dark eyes connected with mine, but just as quickly, she looked away. "Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Daddy wants Richie to be a doctor, so Richie obeys like the little pussy he is."

I glared at her as anger seared through my all ready heated body. "Uh, _no_," I snapped. "Being a doctor is a respectable job."

She tossed her head back and laughed darkly. "Respectable my ass. It's only respectable if you enjoy it. You look as if it's a fucking death sentence." I didn't indulge her with a reply. I merely watched as the flame burned the wick of the candle. "What do you _really_ want to do?" she questioned. "Like, if you had a choice or whatever, what would be your ultimate dream job?"

I was all ready starting to feel pretty bad with the effects of the alcohol, but this conversation was an even bigger downer. I knew what my answer would be. I'd always secretly wanted to be a director, but knew it was just an unrealistic pipe dream. It'd only ever been, and will remain to be, something out of my reach. "A director," I found myself telling her. I'd never told anyone that. Not even my own friends. As far as everyone was concerned, I'd only ever wanted to be a doctor.

She broke out into a big grin, her eyes shining as bright as the staggering flame between us. "Now_ that's_ a fucking job," she said "You should do that shit."

I shook my head. "Not that simple." My father would have a cow if I remotely attempted to be anything other than what I already planned to be.

"Everything is fucking simple, Richie."

I hated being subjected to this scrutiny. Since when did she become some wise old Asian man? How would she like it if I asked her the same questions? In fact, that wasn't a bad idea. "And what about you? What do you want to do?"

Her facial expression dropped significantly into a full on scowl. "Nothing," she replied stoically.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" I questioned.

"I mean _nothing_."

"You have to want to do something," I stated.

"I don't have to want to fucking do anything," she snapped.

"That makes no sense," I noted.

She huffed. "Maybe in your world of fake tits and trust funds it doesn't, but in my world, it's not that simple."

Was she referring to the fact that she was poor? That was just silly. "In the words of Bella Swan, everything is simple," I said, throwing her words back at her with a mischievous smile.

"Uh, you forgot 'fucking,'" she remarked haughtily. "Oh, wait. I forgot. Richie Rich doesn't cuss."

"I cuss," I declared, even though I knew that I rarely did, if ever.

She laughed heartily. "I changed my mind. You're too good for your own good."

She suddenly stood and stretched her arms above her head. Her tank top rose slightly, revealing a small sliver of pale skin, illuminated by the golden candlelight. I eyed it shamelessly, not able to tear my sight away. It looked so smooth and soft, and I could see the start of her belly button. My breathing began to grow shallow and quick, while my eyes glazed over from lack of blinking. Her shirt lowered back to its original spot over the waistband of her jeans, and I slowly roamed my eyes up her body, starting from her stomach, to her chest, her neck…lips, nose, and finally, her deep brown eyes, which were staring intently into mine.

Our locked eyes broke its connection as she looked up at the top of my head, and then through the gaping hole in the wall.

"I'm bored," she announced to herself. She looked at me directly again, this time, she didn't deter her sight from mine. "You wanna get outta here?"

Without saying a word, I nodded. My mouth couldn't function, but my brain was practically screaming yes. She bent down over the table, never taking her sight off me. I memorized the glint in her eyes as she blew out the candle in one rush of air. It was the same exact glint I was sure resided within my own.

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**A/N: **

**So, we got some good Bella and Edward time in there. What do you think will happen?  
**

**On my profile are some links of pictures to go along with this chapter. This includes the shack in the forest, which will also be useful for next chapter. As well as some of the old fashioned items, including the candle holder, deck of cards, and stork ashtray—which is a nod off to my other story Hate Me cause I'm sneaky—all circa late 1920s at the end of the prohibition era. For kicks, I've also included the 80s boombox. **

**A few readers have been asking when we're getting a point of view from Bella. Well, we aren't. This whole story is in Edward's POV because he's conceited and only wants it to be about him. Maybe I'll post some outtakes as things unfold, but otherwise, it's all Edward, baby. **

**The chapters will most likely start to get longer now. This isn't certain, but as the plot advances, I want more things accomplished in one chapter, so that means the chapters will be a bit longer. I hope you don't mind. If you're reading this story, and like it, then I'm sure it's no problem. **

**Reviews get teasers for the next chapter.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26 who is always awesome and quick. Thanks, as well, to my pre-reader Renas40, who makes me smile when she analyzes my characters.

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**

I was overwhelmed with the sweet aroma of cherry blossoms plaguing my nostrils as my senses flooded back to me gradually. Something was delicately tickling my nose, so I slowly opened my sleepy eyes. My blurry vision immediately came into contact with black, and for a moment, I wondered if it was still night time, but then the black started to move slightly. When my eyesight fully cleared, I realized my face was burrowed into dark hair. Instantly, I became aware of the rest of my body. Something warm was pressed up against me as I lay on my side, and my right arm had a moderately heavy pressure pinning it down. I tore my head away minutely from within the entanglement of hair, and completely took in the picture before me.

There was a sleeping girl peacefully huddled up against me, her back to my chest. I could only see the expanse of her bare, pale arm moving in rhythm to her slow, deep breaths. A slight stinging sensation warmed the skin of my forearm. I wanted to pull up my long sleeves to see why it was aching, but the sleeping girl's head was resting against my bicep, warranting me incapable of moving.

I briefly looked around and noticed I—or we—were outside in a forest, massive moss covered trees planted around us with their autumn colored leaves sprinkling down. Within the forest, we were in the middle of a small clearing; perhaps an overgrown pasture with tall, green grass blanketing the earth. The sky was still partially dark, offering a bluish gray hue with hints of orange, signaling the start of dawn.

The sleeping girl breathed in deeply, her back pressing even further into my chest. She let out a heavy sigh and whimpered softly. She nuzzled her head against my bicep and then stopped moving, her breaths growing even again. I realized I was frozen, staring at her. As uncomfortable as I should've been, I wasn't at all.

When I noticed there was a bad taste in my mouth and my head was beginning to throb, the weight of the situation fully slammed down on me. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten here and why I'd woken up in the middle of the forest with some girl. I began to panic. I needed to get up. I didn't want to disturb the girl, but I was going to have an anxiety attack if I didn't figure out what in the world happened.

I slowly moved my arm from under the girl's head, trying not to wake her. Her breathing picked up and I stopped instantly, my arm halfway out from under her. When her breaths returned to normal, I continued maneuvering my arm to slide out so her head landed lightly on the grass. She was out cold and didn't realize her head wasn't resting against anything anymore, which I was thankful for. I situated myself to sit up on my knees, my entire body aching along the way. And that was when I noticed…this sleeping girl was not just anyone.

Bella…Swan.

I stared down at her peaceful form, my thoughts screaming at me, insulting me, badgering me to try to figure out this situation. But, I turned my mind off just for a second as I watched her quietly. She didn't look like the Bella I'd come to know. In her slumber, she was at peace, serene…angelic, even. The expression on her face didn't look mad, nor happy, just purely content. The blue eyeshadow she normally wore was almost faded, and her barely there lipstick was smudged slightly, but mostly gone.

I inched a bit closer to her, my knee caps touching her back. I noticed the bottom part of her arm was pink, almost red, and there was something black on her arm, the size of a golf ball. Looking closer, I could make out that it was some sort of tattoo. It looked like a black tadpole with one circular eye near the head…which was weird. When had she gotten a tattoo? I hadn't remembered seeing her with one at school. I wondered if her arm hurt with how red it looked.

Without thinking about it, I brought my hand up to her tattoo. My fingers lightly connected with her smooth skin, sending a warm shiver through me. Bella didn't stir at all, so I began to trace my fingers around the design, drawing the outline of its pronounced shape. I was barely touching her, yet it felt so intimate. I should've pulled my hand away, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. After I outlined her tattoo a second time, I trailed my fingers up the expanse of her arm, past the crevice of her elbow, and found refuge on the skin at the base of her shoulder. She was so soft. I wanted to feel more of her. But, when she moved, I quickly snatched my hand back.

Her eyes fluttered open and she sighed. I remained still, unsure of what to do. Should I say something? Should I get up and leave? She didn't move. She remained laying, looking straight ahead on her side, almost as if she were in thought. I didn't think she'd realized I was here; otherwise her reaction wouldn't have been so…solemn.

"Not again…" she breathed quietly. She suddenly moaned as if in pain and squeezed her eyes shut. "Owww—fucking shit." She brought a hand up to her forehead and rubbed, then observed her arm. Her eyes grew wide.

I knew I couldn't just remain sitting behind her, not uttering a word. I wanted to know what happened to us and why we were here. I wasn't sure why she was still just laying there. I was hoping she'd turn around and see me so that I wouldn't have to speak, but she wasn't, so I cleared my throat softly. She gasped and turned her head. When our eyes connected, her shocked ones with my, probably, confused eyes, she sat up instantly. She winced and brought a hand to her forehead again, rubbing.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she barked angrily, her eyes darting around.

"Don't you think I'd like to know the same thing?" I asked, cringing at the sound of my voice. It sounded awful; hoarse and unused.

She fervently, as if in a panic, looked down at her body, and then let out a sigh of relief. She cast me a sideways glance, her eyes roaming down my body. I raised an eyebrow, wondering why she was looking at me like that. A small smile crept across her face and she let out a small, uncontrolled giggle. I was taken aback by the foreign sound coming from her.

"What?" I questioned.

She fell back against the grass and looked up at me. "Must've been some night."

I furrowed my brow. "Why?" I asked.

"I vaguely remember you screaming like a prepubescent girl watching Hannah Montana," she said, and let out another melodious giggle. "Oh shit, that was funny as hell." She brought her arm up and began tracing her tattoo, laughing quietly to herself.

I frowned. My head began to hurt, and I needed answers. "What do you mean? I can't remember anything. What happened? Why am I here? Why are _you _here? What did we—"

She huffed angrily and groaned loudly, slamming her hand into the grass. "Quiet, goddammit. You're giving me an even bigger fucking headache. Can you just not fucking be Richie…like, just for one goddamn minute?" She stared up at the sky, a wrinkle creasing in her forehead.

I closed my mouth and took a deep breath in through my nose. I was beginning to get angry. How could she just lay there like everything was okay? I needed answers, and she seemed to know them, but she didn't want to offer me any sort of reprieve. She turned her head toward me and let out a small sigh, then closed her eyes.

"Look at your arm," she urged quietly.

I gave her a quick, confused glance, and then looked at my arm. I began to roll up the sleeve, when she interrupted me.

"The other arm!" she snapped, and went back to looking up at the sky.

I rolled down my sleeve and then switched to my other arm, which was still sore. I rolled up the sleeve, wincing at the pain shooting up my arm. I gasped sharply when I saw what was on my forearm.

Bella laughed obnoxiously and held out her arm in front of my face. "I hope you enjoy matching tats…_buddy." _She shook her head, continuing to laugh, and then sat up.

I was in shock, completely mortified. How could this have happened? The tattoo on my swollen, red arm was almost identical to Bella's, only it was simply an outline of the shape with a black circle at the head instead.

"Shit!" I cursed loudly, fully panicking now.

Bella stood and began brushing her jeans. "Relax, Richie. It's just a damn tattoo," she assured, but she wasn't helping me one bit. "Besides, you're the one who suggested it in the first place."

My eyes flashed up to hers, and I stood. "What?" I growled. She had to be lying. I would never suggest getting a tattoo…_ever._ I licked the pad of my thumb, making sure enough saliva got on there, and then swiped it across my tattoo, hoping the ink would smear to show it was fake…but it didn't. It was on there permanently.

_Shit, shit, shit._

I wanted to cry. This was just a mess. God…_a tattoo_...How could I have done this?

"Well…" Bella trailed off, a hint of hesitation in her tone. I was too engrossed in freaking out over my tattoo to question why. "Bye." She suddenly spun around and began walking quickly towards the trees.

She was going? _Now_?

Absolutely not.

"Bella, what the hell?" I called out after her. She didn't stop. She didn't even acknowledge I'd said anything. I groaned, annoyed, and chased after her. "Hey!" My tone was loud and forceful.

She wasn't fazed, and continued walking as I caught up to her. Fully out of the pasture now, and headed into the forest, we came upon a narrow man made path. She followed it as if she'd walked down it a hundred times.

"Stop following me," she demanded.

"Are you going to tell me _anything_ about last night?" I asked.

"You're fucking deaf or something, 'cause I told you we got tats," she replied, sounding irritated.

_Jesus, this woman is infuriating. _

"I'm not deaf, dammit," I yelled at her harshly, which caused her to stop moving instantly.

"Don't fucking yell at me, you dickhead," she seethed. "I'm not the one who wanted to do this." She pointed a finger at me. "It was your goddamn ass that wanted to. I fucking _told _you that you can't get out of it once it's done and you said that you didn't care. Now, you're fucking shouting at me 'cause of something you wanted to do? Well, fuck you." She began to walk again.

Without fully absorbing her words, I grabbed her arm lightly before she could get too far. I brought her back to me and tried to look into her eyes, but she was looking away. "Bella, I'm sorry," I uttered remorsefully. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just really confused here. I can't remember a thing about last night…"

She sighed and brought a hand up to rub her forehead. "Look, I only remember up until the tattoos. We went to a bar, got loaded, got tats," she explained, and then shrugged. "Everything else after that is sketchy." She glanced at me quickly, and then looked away. There was something in her eyes that I couldn't define. She seemed sad for some reason.

"Okay," I said simply. What else could I say? I tried hard to remember going to a bar and getting tattoos, but I couldn't remember. All that was stuck in my head was Bella and I sitting in a dark shack, playing cards and drinking a little. It was almost as if everything after that didn't happen. But I knew it did, because the evidence was on my forearm. And if my pounding head was any indication of the amount of alcohol I had consumed, then it appeared I was hungover. I sighed and looked down at my arm again. "What are these of, anyway?"

"That yang and yin shit you rattled on about," she replied. "I didn't even know what the fuck it looked like up until you drew it on a napkin." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "Jesus fuck, Richie. You really don't remember anything about yesterday, do you?"

Yesterday.

_Oh shit. _

That meant it was Saturday. I had a damn swim meet at ten. I searched my back pocket for my phone, but it was missing. I checked my front pockets and they were empty, which meant Jasper's keys were missing, too. "Where are my phone and keys?" I asked frantically. Jasper would kill me if I lost his car keys.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of keys, holding it up to my face. "Looking for these?" she asked teasingly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed them. "Why do you have my keys?" I questioned.

She smiled and shrugged. "Some things are better left unsaid." With that, she turned and continued walking along the path.

"Bella, just tell me that the car is intact," I pleaded with her, following her steps.

She snickered. "Sure," she replied vaguely.

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. I almost didn't want to see what condition the car was in—Wait…

"Bella," I breathed urgently, "if we were drunk last night, how did we not get into an accident or get pulled over by the cops?"

She laughed. "Skills, Richie. Don't have a cow. We're here, right?"

The path began to curve, and a wooden structure peeked out from behind the trees. As we got closer, I realized it was the shack. Strangely enough, it didn't look any less spooky in the daylight. It did look dirtier, though. I made a face of disgust, remembering that I sat in that hunk of junk.

"Do you have the time?" I asked.

She looked up at the sky, analyzing it for a few seconds. "It's almost seven in the morning. Why? Got a hot date?" she asked seriously.

I raised an eyebrow. "No, I have a swim meet this morning that I can't miss."

She stopped in front of the shack and quickly stuck her head in the doorway, then turned back to me. "Oh, right. That whole Richie thing you do so well," she said distantly, looking at the ground as if searching for something. "Don't let me fucking keep you. I got places to go, too." She turned around and walked into the shack, muttering quietly to herself.

I didn't follow her in, just continued to watch from the outside. I knew I had to go now, but I was confused about the night. I still couldn't believe I'd gotten a tattoo. What would my friends say? What would my parents say? Oh God…my father. I'd be grounded into next year. My mother would probably faint from the trauma of her son destroying and marking his body. And then I realized something…

I was swimming today.

I'd be undressed and everyone would see my tattoo, including my parents. _Shit!_ I was done for. But, I couldn't think about that now. I had to get out of here and back home in my room before my parents woke up.

"God fucking dammit, where the fuck is it?" Bella rumbled from inside the shack, making lots of noise as she shifted things around. I could hear her dragging one of the wooden crates. "FUCK!" Her sudden, loud curse took me by surprise, and I jumped as the sound echoed throughout the forest. I was pretty sure a few nearby birds squawked in fright, and then flew away.

I walked up to the doorway and peered in, hoping she wasn't hurt or anything. She was sitting on one of the crates, the room dark except for a few rays of early morning sunlight shining through the branches of the trees and into the window. She was looking down at a cell phone she had in her hands.

"You okay?" I asked, worried.

She didn't bother to look up at me. "You should probably go," she said, her tone flat. She pressed a button on her phone, and then brought it up to her ear.

"Okay…" I trailed off, baffled over her change of attitude. She was suddenly back to being the normal Bella Swan. "Well…bye." I took a step back and waited for her to say bye to me, but she didn't. She stared at the wall as she waited for whoever she was calling to pick up. I took another step back, and then turned around to walk away.

"Hey…" I heard Bella say, which caused me to turn around, thinking she was speaking to me. "Can you come pick me up?" She was still in the shack, clearly not talking to me, which meant she was on the phone. "No, woke up in the clearing again. I was by myself the entire night."

I furrowed my brow and turned around in a huff. Whoever she was talking with, she was lying to, because she was with _me _last night. Why would she lie? Then again, would I really tell people I was with Bella last night? Probably not…but still…

Last night, I had walked through this forest in the dark, but I had Bella to guide me. Now, I had absolutely no clue where I was headed. I just continued to follow the trail that clearly knew where it was going, even though I didn't.

I knew there was a forest next to the school, but I'd never known that there was anything in the forest besides…well…trees. Did Bella always go to the shack when she'd disappear behind the bushes? Why hadn't I asked that last night? I should've. I should've asked a lot of things, but I didn't. Either way, she didn't appear all that willing to answer anything regarding her secrets that she seemed to be tight lipped about.

I finally came across some bushes that looked familiar. I could see the gravel of the parking lot through them. I pushed aside some of the leaves and forced my way through, realizing it wasn't any easier my second time going through these. They still scratched me on every possible place on my body, even my sore arm.

When I fully got through and stepped into the lot, I froze in shock. Jasper's car was all the way at the other end of the lot, halfway up on the sidewalk leading to the school and partially in the space I usually parked in with my Volvo.

_Shit, what was I thinking? _

I wasn't sure if I had driven or if Bella had, but either way, it was wrong to have driven intoxicated. Bella had the car keys this morning, so did that mean she drove?

"_You're in no state to drive," Bella said, giggling uncontrollably. She held out her hand. "Give me the keys." _

_I held the keys above her head, teasing her to grab them. "In your dreams, Swaaan, and you're in no better state than me," I slurred. "I'm the man; I drive." _

_She punched my arm, not hard at all, which caused me to laugh. "You're such a douche, Edward. If you kill me, I'll kill you!" she yelled, but then cracked up when she realized her contradiction. I joined her, my sides hurting from all the laughing we'd done the entire night._

"_You can't kill me if you're dead," I clarified. "But, I'd like to see you try." I winked at her, and turned to open the passenger door for her. "Get in." _

_She ripped my hand off the door and slammed it shut. "Don't tell me what to do! I'll get in myself!" she exclaimed in a huff, then opened the door herself. She climbed into the passenger seat._

"_God, woman! You're infuriating," I grumbled, and shut the door. When I walked around the other side of the car, I heard her reopen her door and slam it. I shook my head with a smile. She clearly hated me doing anything for her. _

_When I hopped into the driver's seat, I turned to her. She was smiling lazily about something. "Where to next?" I asked anxiously. _

_She turned her head to me and took her bottom lip in between her teeth, biting it tentatively. "To the school. There's something I want to show you." _

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What the hell?" I questioned out loud, coming out of my thoughts. Had I just remembered something from last night? Well, I guess that solved who actually drove. That was sort of weird how…familiar we seemed with each other. And she'd even called me Edward. She'd never addressed me by my name. I replayed in my head how she sounded saying my name, her feminine voice letting it roll off her tongue. I had to admit, I really liked it. I hated when she called me Richie.

My thoughts remembered the last thing I recalled her saying, about wanting to show me something. What exactly did she want to show me? And did she show it? I tried to rack my mind for any other memories of last night, but nothing came to me, so I gave up.

When I finally reached Jasper's Saab, I looked briefly to see if there was any damage to it. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, so I got in the car and drove out of the lot. Checking the time, I noticed it was just now seven in the morning. Bella had been right, oddly enough.

On my way down the street, I stopped at a red light. I found my phone haphazardly tossed on the floor of the passenger's side. I groaned and picked it off the floor, pushing it into my pocket. When I looked back onto the road, I noticed a black motorcycle on the opposite side of the intersection, waiting for the light to turn red, as well. When I looked at who was on the motorcycle, I found two dark, feral eyes staring directly at me.

Jacob Black.

I narrowed my eyes at him, not backing down from his incinerating stare. He lifted a brow, and tightened his grip on the handles. A deep, harsh sound pierced through the intersection, vibrating my windows as he revved his engine obnoxiously. I remained in a constant stare with him, knowing full well that he did that to distract me. In my peripheral vision, I could see that the light had all ready turned green, but I didn't move; in fact, I wrapped my hand around the stick shift and pushed it into neutral. I slammed my foot down on the accelerator, offering Black a louder rev. A carnal groan erupted from deep within the car. The light turned orange, then red. He revved his engine again, and then shot off, running through the red light. He kept his penetrating glower intact as he whizzed past my car and out of sight.

"Stupid asshole," I muttered, and jammed the stick shift into drive.

When I arrived home, parking Jasper's car exactly where it had been last night, I opened the front door as quietly as I could, hoping not to wake anyone up. I breathed a sigh of relief when I successfully shut the door without anyone stirring. I crept up the stairs and slid into my room, still undetected. When I saw my bed, my eyes went wide. There was someone sleeping in it. The covers were over their head, but there was definitely someone there. When I stepped a bit closer, I began to realize that the big lump in my bed couldn't be a person sleeping because the body was too short. It would have to be a midget. I pulled the covers off and groaned. There were two pillows laid out to represent the body, and an old, deflated basketball at the top to represent the head.

Jasper.

He was an idiot. I didn't know whether to laugh at his bad imitation of a body or yell at his poor effort. As it was, I realized I was exhausted, and my eyes were beginning to sag, so I lazily removed the deflated basketball and pushed the pillows up to the top of the bed. Looking at the time briefly, I was glad I had over an hour and a half to sleep.

I removed my jeans and shirt quickly and fell into bed with just my briefs on. My aching body molded to the mattress, instantly feeling soothed by the cold, unslept in sheets. My eyes began to close, dragging me into the darkness I craved.

X-X-X-X

_I watched as I took calculated steps into the sand, my bare feet scorching in the heat of the compacted grains. The bright sun's luminescent rays burrowed down on me, my thick, black sweatshirt absorbing the uncomfortable warmth. I grabbed the hem of my sweat soaked sweatshirt and tried to pull it off, but it wouldn't budge. I released the hem, sighed, and continued forward. _

_My eyes wandered up, taking in the scene in front of me. I was used to being here by now. I felt a sense of familiarity as I approached the shore, little by little. The tide was high. Waves crashed onto the beach unreservedly. Looking around, there wasn't one soul in sight…except for that of a woman, standing knee deep in the murky ocean, her back facing the shore._

_When I reached the shoreline, I could visibly make out her dark hair flowing freely and that she was wearing black jeans and a blank tank…_

_Bella. _

_She was completely still, allowing the waves to move harshly around her as the wind began to pick up exponentially. I stood back cautiously and watched from the dry part of the sand, not wanting to get my feet wet. A part of me wanted to join her, she didn't seem to have a care in the word, but the stronger, dominant part of me knew the risk was too high._

"_Bella," I called out loudly over the roar of the waves. _

_She shifted her head slightly to the side at the sound of my voice, and then went back to staring straight ahead. _

"_Richie, I knew you'd come…" she yelled out, but her voice was barely audible over the groan of the ocean. _

"_What?" I questioned, wondering how she could possibly know that. "Bella, why are you standing in the water?" _

_She turned around and began to walk out of the ocean towards me. The closer she got, the more visibly I could see her face. Her eyelids were bare, untouched by her usual blue eyeshadow; however, her lips were as red as ever. _

_She stopped directly in front of me, her deep brown eyes penetrating me. I became lost in them, wanting to swim in the pools of her dark irises. She reached out toward me, her hands grasping onto the hem of my sweatshirt. _

"_What are you doing?" I asked in a whisper. _

_Slowly, she began to lift it higher and higher, up the expanse of my body. A shiver shot through me at how close she was to me and at the feel of her knuckles skimming lightly up the sides of my body. Even though I wasn't sure why she was trying to take off my sweatshirt, I raised my arms into the air, letting her free me of the drenched article of clothing. When it was completely off, she threw it down into the sand next to us and smiled up at me. But, when her hand reached for the button of my jeans, I went rigid..._

"Come on, man. Wake up…"

"Huh?" I asked in a daze as I slipped back into consciousness.

"Finally. I've been trying to wake you up for fifteen minutes."

I opened my groggy eyes, wanting to shut them immediately when my eyes came into contact with Jasper's bare, hairy legs. "This must be part of my nightmare," I concluded, still out of it. "Put some pants on."

Jasper chuckled, but didn't understand that I was serious. The last thing I wanted to wake up to was a man's legs inches from my face.

"I just need my keys," he said. "I'm heading out soon to pick up Alice."

I shut my eyes. "They should be in my pants."

"Okay," he said, "where are your pants, exactly?"

I groaned and flipped on my back. I took out my arms from under the covers and leaned across to the other side of the bed to get my pants that I'd haphazardly thrown on the floor earlier. However, I stopped when I heard Jasper gasp.

"What is that, Ed?" he asked curiously.

I turned my head to look at him in confusion. I saw he was eyeing my arm.

Shit. My tattoo.

The pain had almost vanished and I'd completely forgotten about it. I looked away, too tired to give a damn at the moment, and grabbed my pants off the floor. I took out his keys from my pocket and threw them at him hard, which he caught. I flipped on my side and closed my eyes again, willing sleep.

"Are you gonna answer me?" he questioned tentatively.

I squeezed my eyes shut further. "No, I'm trying to sleep."

"It's quarter past nine," he revealed.

My eyes flew open in panic. I threw the covers off me and jumped out of bed, running over to my closet. I couldn't believe I'd overslept. Why hadn't I set an alarm or something? I was usually so anal about my responsibilities.

I grabbed some gray sweats and forced my legs through them, then threw on the first shirt I touched in my closet, which was just a dark green long sleeved shirt.

"Is it a stick on?" Jasper questioned.

I groaned, and grabbed my swim bag with my Speedo and goggles in it. "I thought you said you had to leave," I reminded, trying to get rid of him. I didn't have time to answer his questions, not that I wanted to answer them regardless. But, when I walked back into my room to go brush my teeth, he blocked me, standing in front of the bathroom door.

"I told you last night I wouldn't ask where you were going off to, so I'm not going to," he said earnestly, "but whatever you did…it's just not you."

I clapped a hand on his shoulder condescendingly. "Thanks for the words of wisdom, but I think I know what's me and what's not."

He shrugged off my hand and huffed. "Whatever, man. You're on your own." He took a few steps back. "Oh, and your mom and dad aren't going to your swim meet this week," he said, and then backed out of my room.

"Hold on, what?" I questioned. My parents went to every single one of my meets. They couldn't just both skip out. Was this further punishment to add to my never ending grounding?

But, as I thought about it more, I realized how perfect it was. If they weren't there, they wouldn't see the tattoo I'd drunkenly gotten. I'd be off the hook from having to explain the sordid details that I couldn't actually remember.

Jasper stopped in the doorway. "That's just what they told me."

"Well, why didn't they tell _me_?" I questioned. Even though I was relieved they weren't going, it still hurt that they hadn't told me.

"Probably because you've been knocked out all morning? I don't know. Go ask them." He looked irritated and walked into the hallway. "Oh, and you're welcome for last night," I heard him mutter.

I rolled my eyes and continued to get ready at the speed of light. I only had twenty minutes to get to the school before they started warming up. Coach would kill me if I was late, even though I'd never been. But, when I was on my way downstairs, I realized that I had no way of getting to school. My car had been taken away, Jasper had probably all ready left to pick up Alice, and my parents weren't even going. Maybe I could call Emmett?

"Edward," I heard my dad call from inside his den.

I stood still, not really sure if I should go in. I was going to be late if I didn't call Emmett right now.

My mom suddenly came out of the den and looked at me with a soft, welcoming expression. "It's okay, honey," she assured. "Come on in." She reached out her hand and wrapped it delicately around my arm, guiding me inside.

Dad was sitting at his desk, looking up at the door, his expression blank. I swallowed hard and stood next to my mom.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

He leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands together. "Your mother and I won't be going to your competition today."

I nodded, since I all ready knew. "Why not?" I asked, realizing after that I should've just kept my mouth shut so they didn't change their mind.

My dad looked at Esme and then back at me. I looked at my mom, who was looking at me with a weird expression, almost as if she were sad, but not entirely.

"Your father and I are going to Seattle today," my mother answered vaguely. Before I could respond, my father cut in.

"The point is, Edward, we can't be there."

My mother wrapped her arm around my waist and rubbed my side. "We really do want to, though. We promise to make it to the next one. Okay?"

I looked between them a few times, and then nodded in reply.

My father leaned forward a bit in his chair, and breathed in loudly. I felt the mood of the room suddenly shift, and I exhaled through my nose shakily, anticipating what he might say.

"You've been maintaining your grades, I trust?" he questioned.

"Carlisle…" my mother scolded.

"Esme," he chided, "just let me handle this."

My mother released her hold around my waist and moved towards the door, but not before giving my father one last stern look. He didn't acknowledge her, and remained looking at me.

"How is school?" he asked simply.

I shrugged, feeling tension in my shoulders instantly. "Yeah, it's fine."

He nodded. "And you've been keeping up with your school work?"

"Yes," I answered.

He sighed deeply and leaned back. "Your mother seems to think I unfairly punished you. I happen to disagree, but we decided on a compromise." He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a set of keys. _My Volvo keys_. My eyes grew wide; my fingers itched to grab them. "I'm not going to say that I think you deserve these back, Edward, because I don't, but it's also a necessity to have your car for times like today when you don't have an option of transportation." He set the keys down on the desk and slid them to the far end. "Your punishment still remains. You are to come straight home and do your homework, but as far as your car is concerned, you are free to use that to get to school and your extracurricular activities." He eyed me pointedly. "Understood?"

I nodded a few times too many, and quickly walked over to grab my keys. Before I could grab them, he covered it with his hands.

"But, if I you do anything else to undermine my rules and the respectability of this family," he continued in warning, "the car will be the first thing to go. That was given to you as a reward for the hard work you put in over the years, and it can be taken away, too. So, watch your grades and your attitude, son."

"Yes, sir," I said meekly. He lifted his hand, and I hesitantly grabbed my keys.

X-X-X-X

"Good job, Cullen."

"We won, Ed! Thanks to you!"

"You're amazing. You always do so well. I...I really like your tattoo, Edward."

"Hey, man, congratulations. How's your girl?"

I sifted through the crowd of people, some my teammates, some of them peers from the school that had come to watch. They all clapped my wet, bare shoulder and back as I made my way to the locker room.

We'd won the meet against Port Angeles High School. It wasn't too much of a surprise, since we always won, but it was nice to get credit for something I did.

On my way to my car, which was sitting proudly in its usual spot, I opened my trunk and threw my bag in the back, running a hand through my sopping hair.

"Ed, wait up," I heard in the distance. I shut my trunk, revealing a damp haired Emmett jogging up to my car. "Got your car back. Nice."

I smiled and fingered my keys in my pocket. "Yeah."

Without warning, he grabbed my arm and analyzed it closely. "And when were you going to tell me about this…this…whatever it is," he said.

I pulled my arm back. "A tattoo?" I questioned.

He rolled his eyes and folded his arms as he leaned against my car. "Yeah, I know what it is, but what exactly _is _it. Looks like a sperm."

I scoffed at him. "It's not a sperm. It's a yang."

"A what-ee-what?" he questioned with a confused expression.

"Yin yang, Em," I answered. Why was it that no one seemed to know what a yin yang was these days?

"That is definitely not a yin yang," he observed, pointing to it accusingly.

I sighed. "It's half of it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Where's the other half?"

We were getting into dangerous territory. I'd managed to avoid many people questioning my newly acquired tattoo. They'd actually seemed fairly intimidated by it or something, which was weird. Just because I'd gotten a tattoo, didn't mean I was any different. A lot of the girls kept eyeing my arm, and the guys would eye the girls eyeing my arm.

Before I could reply, Rose showed up, holding two paper cups of coffee. She handed one to Emmett, and kept the other for herself.

"Awww, thanks, babe," he cooed, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks for getting me one, Rose," I teased.

She huffed as usual and eyed my arm. "Maybe your body art will keep you warm, but us normal, unmarked people aren't as fortunate."

"Babe, look," Emmett said, and grabbed my arm to show her. "It's a sperm."

"It's not a sperm," I corrected, annoyed.

"Looks tacky," Rose remarked distastefully. She turned to Emmett and gave him a chaste kiss. "I'm heading out, see ya later." She walked off, leaving Emmett and I alone.

"I like it," Emmett said quietly, out of Rose's earshot. "I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but know I never will."

I looked at my arm. The red had vanished, leaving just the design now. I was actually starting to admire it more. Though I'd never been one for tattoos, never desired to have one, now that I did, it was sort of cool.

"Yeah, I'm starting to like it, too," I admitted.

"Starting?" he asked curiously. "When did you get the tattoo and why?"

Here was the dangerous territory again. I knew I could trust Emmett with my life, but that didn't mean I wanted to tell him what I'd been up to last night.

A look of realization suddenly flashed across his face. "No way, Ed," he blurted loudly. "You went out with Bella Swan last night, didn't you?"

I looked around frantically, hoping no one had heard that. "Can you keep your voice down?" I spat.

He merely laughed and shook his head. "You gotta tell me what happened. What does she do at night? I remember that rumor that she worked at a strip club after school. Which one?"

I gave him a look of disgust. "She doesn't work at a strip club." At least, I didn't think she did…

His face fell, looking as if Christmas had been canceled. "Fine. Sooo…what did you guys do? Besides you obviously getting a tattoo."

I sighed, knowing he wouldn't give up if I didn't tell him something. "Alright, but this stays between us," I cautioned.

He nodded. "I'm your best friend, dude. You can tell me anything. I promise I won't even tell my lady." He stuck out his hand for me to shake, and I took it with a firm grip. It was our way of sealing the deal. I felt confident now he wouldn't tell anyone.

"Okay, well…" I began, not knowing where to start. I ended up starting by explaining our encounters beforehand and why she gave me that note. After, I divulged the details about meeting up with her, what she showed me in the woods. I told him how we sort of bonded a bit in a strange way, even though the beginning of our night was a bit tense. Then, when I got to the part where we started to drink, he looked at me as if I were someone else, a stranger, though he was still interested in hearing. I told him how the rest of the night was a blur, since I'd had too much to drink, and that I had woken up in a pasture with Bella, specifically leaving out the fact that I had been holding her close to me when I'd woken up. He especially loved the part when I mentioned seeing Black on my way home.

"Oh, whoa," Emmett said, almost looking like he'd eaten too much dessert. "That's a lot to swallow." So, perhaps metaphorical dessert.

"You're telling me," I agreed.

"Aren't there laws stating you can't get tattoos under the influence?" he questioned.

"Uhhh," I fumbled. That was true. Wherever we'd gotten tattoos could've had their license revoked by giving drunk minors tattoos. "I'm not really sure."

He shrugged it off, and then grinned. "I can't even believe Bella talks to you," Emmett mused.

"She doesn't talk to me."

"What do you mean? You spent an entire night with her!" he exclaimed. "Do you know how many guys in the school would kill to be you?"

"I didn't mean to spend a whole night with her. All I wanted to do was get to know her a bit, to see what her deal was. I didn't expect all this…" I held up my tattooed arm, "shit to happen to me."

"So, now you guys are tattoo amigos," he joked with a snicker, completely ignoring what I said.

I sighed in thought. I wondered how Bella was handling the tattoo situation. She seemed okay with it, which I didn't understand. Most of the time, she hated me. So, why would she be okay with something that tied her to someone she didn't really enjoy talking to?

"I guess," I spoke quietly.

"Hmm…well. I gotta head out," he said, and laughed. "Wonder what Tanya will say when she sees it tomorrow."

My eyes grew wide at the mention of her name. My breathing became shallow. I hadn't even thought once about Tanya, hadn't even considered her. What was wrong with me? What would happen when she saw what I'd done? How would I explain it to her?

I suddenly wished I could go back to the shack. To be somewhere where everything was less complicated, where I didn't have to watch my actions. Somewhere where I was free to be me.

* * *

**A/N: **

**You probably didn't anticipate something like that would happen, right? If you did, good job. **

**The tattoo is essentially split down the middle of the Yin-Yang, but if you don't know what that looks like, you can go to my profile and see the example as well as a few other pics; including, the clearing, the back of the shack with part of the trail ExB walked, and there's also a pic of Jacob's motorcycle.**

**This Sunday, there will be a spoilerific teaser for the next chapter as well as an interview with me posted on a brand new blog called Twific Hall of Fame. It'll have a bit of insight into Edward and Bella as well as the story in general and what the future of the fic might hold. So, if you're interested, check it out. Remember, this Sunday! LINK: **_**twifichof . wordpress . com**_

**Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! Please review and tell me how you're liking the story so far.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**

**The awesome Twific Hall of Fame blog wrote up a review as well as interviewed me for this story. There's some insight into what I have planned for this fic and a little understanding of the lead characters. So, if you're interested, the link to it can be found on my profile. **

**Thanks to my beta Lindz26 for working her magic and getting this back to me quickly, and a special thanks to my pre-reader Renas40 for helping me out so much with each chapter. I really couldn't imagine going through this story without her fantastic feedback.  


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The next morning, I woke up to an empty house. I'd slept in until one in the afternoon, which was abnormal for me. I guess my body needed that extra sleep; I was definitely feeling over tired from my swim meet yesterday. I dragged my aching legs around the kitchen and tried to find something to eat, but we had hardly anything. On the kitchen counter there was a plate with a few blueberry bran muffins along with one partially eaten muffin set next to the plate. Clearly, Jasper had gotten to it. Even though I was in the mood for something bigger to eat, I grabbed one of the muffins and peeled the flimsy wrapper. Just as I finished eating it and began to grab for another, I heard the front door open and the sound of footsteps and Jasper yapping away about something to my mom.

I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to see my mom carrying plastic grocery bags. Jasper was only carrying one while my mom had four.

"Oh, hello, dear," my mom greeted jovially as she struggled with the bags.

I grabbed three bags from her quickly. "Here, let me help you with that, Mom," I offered.

"Welcome to the land of the living," Jasper remarked a bit creepily, and then chuckled as he walked off in the direction of the kitchen.

"Where did you both go?" I asked my mom as we began to follow Jasper.

"Jasper wanted to sign up for his special effects class and needed a guardian's signature, since he's still under eighteen, and I needed groceries, so we killed two birds with one stone," she explained with a smile.

I put the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and began taking items out. My mom saw the partially bitten muffin and huffed.

"Jasper, next time you want to eat something I baked, can you not take one bite out of it and then put it back?" she asked haughtily.

He took one look at the muffin and wrinkled his nose. "It's bran."

"It's good for you and better than that junk you made me buy at the store," she admonished.

"Fruit Roll-Ups are fruit!" he exclaimed. "How can fruit not be healthy?"

I laughed and shook my head. "They have a ton of sugar and are made for kids. That should clue you in right there."

"Exactly," my mother agreed, and grabbed the muffin. She shoved it at Jasper's chest and he grabbed it hesitantly. "Eat the muffin."

Jasper grumbled to himself and stalked out of the kitchen. Thirty seconds later, the television went on in the living room. My mother looked at me and winked with a devilish smile, and I grinned. My mother and Jasper had a completely different relationship to that of my father and him. Since my mom wasn't blood related to Jasper, they were never as close, but she still treated him as family. However, If she didn't particularly like something he did, she'd say, where as my father wouldn't.

"Oh, Edward, honey, we bumped into Mrs. Denali at the grocery store. Have you spoken to Tanya yet?" she asked.

I grabbed the empty plastic bags and stuffed them into the grocery bag holder hanging on the wall by the stove. "No, I haven't. I don't think she's coming home until later."

"She's home right now. Her plane came in at six this morning. She hasn't called you?" my mom asked curiously.

I frowned and began to chew the inside of my cheek. I couldn't deny that I was a bit bummed she hadn't at least sent a text message to let me know she was back. I would've liked to have been at her house when she came home from the airport. Maybe she thought I was still grounded and wouldn't have been able to see her, anyway.

"No, she hasn't," I answered, disheartened.

My mom placed her hand on my cheek and rubbed. "Well, then, you should probably call her."

I nodded, and she brought her hand down to resume cleaning up the kitchen. "Yeah, I guess I will," I said.

Shortly after, I left the kitchen and went upstairs to my room to grab my cell phone. If Tanya wasn't going to call me, then I'd text her and see if she wanted to see me. I was sure she would and that she hadn't called before because she was just tired. The flight had to have been long. I noticed on my phone that I had a few texts from Emmett asking if I could drop off my notes for AP Government at his house. He was such a procrastinator. I sent him a text back saying that I was busy today, and then opened up a new text box to write to Tanya.

_**You're home? Why haven't you called? - Edward**_

I placed my phone on my desk and went into my closet to change out of my sleep shirt. I usually wore short sleeved white undershirts to bed, but since the mysterious tattoo showed up on my arm, I'd decided that I'd wear long sleeved shirts from now on, until I figured out what to say to everyone. Thank God I had the cold weather as an excuse. I didn't know what would happen when spring came around.

As soon as I changed into a pair of dark blue jeans, my phone buzzed, indicating I had a new text message. I put the button through the hole and walked over to my desk.

_**Hey! Yes, I'm here. Come over, if you want. - Tanya**_

I pushed my cell into my back pocket and grabbed my wallet off the desk. Her text still hadn't answered why she hadn't called, but maybe she'd tell me when I got to her house. I quickly jogged down the stairs and grabbed my keys off the hook.

"Going to see Tanya?" my mom hollered from the kitchen.

I unlocked the door and turned the knob. "Yeah, I'll be back later," I called back.

"Get her some flowers. Mrs. Denali said she seemed a little sad. I think she must've really missed you."

"Alright," I agreed, and pulled the door open.

On my way over to Tanya's, I stopped off at a nearby florist and purchased her favorite flowers, which were yellow carnations. Tanya was always adamant in expressing that her favorite color was yellow. Most of her wardrobe was yellow and even her room was entirely that one color. I never understood her fascination with it, but to each their own, I supposed. I had never decided that I liked a certain color. I wore a lot of standard colors like gray, blue, white, brown, sometimes even green. It was never as important to me to choose one color to like.

When I reached her house, I knocked on the front door. Mr. Denali opened it almost immediately. He was a fairly tall, thin, middle aged man with salt and pepper hair that was receding. His dark eyes were always covered by rimless glasses. He was quite stern and was hardly ever around due to his ever growing property development ventures. My father and Mr. Denali got along well and they'd arrange nights where both of our families would sit down and have dinner together to catch up. I didn't mind so much, considering I got to see Tanya, but Mr. Denali would always breathe down my neck about my future and what I was doing to make it happen. I'd always felt put on the spot and like I had to do something extraordinary before the get-togethers. Usually, that wouldn't happen, and then I'd get an odd, disappointed look from not just Mr. Denali, but my father, as well. I guess winning swim meets, having almost all AP courses, and plans to be a doctor just wasn't enough for them.

"Edward," Mr. Denali acknowledged in surprise, and then looked down at his silver and gold Cartier watch that had to have been a few grand easily. He looked up at the bouquet of flowers in my hand, eyeing them for a second, and then stepped aside to let me through. "I'm assuming you're here for Tanya."

I moved past him quickly, as if the threshold to his house was made of fire. "Yes, sir. Is she here?" I all ready knew my answer, because I could hear soft humming coming from up the stairs, and I could recognize her voice anywhere.

He nodded, void of any expression at all, and merely pointed upstairs. Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked through to the ostentatiously decorated parlor. I made my way up the staircase and to the first door on the second floor, which was open wide. I held onto the bouquet of flowers tighter and stopped right outside her room. Tanya was standing by her bed, her hands inside her opened suitcase. She was humming a light tune, a song I didn't know. She pulled out something large that was wrapped in tissue paper and began to open it. I smiled, watching her. She looked exactly the same, almost as if she'd never left. She hadn't realized I was there, but was curious to know how she'd react once she did. I cleared my throat twice and leaned against the frame of her door. She gasped softly and turned to me.

"Eddie! _Ciao_!" she greeted excitedly, and put down the object in her hand.

We both walked towards each other and she fell into my arms. I wrapped them tightly around her and laid my cheek on the top of her head. I hadn't realized how much I missed her being here and how much I depended on her to keep me grounded. I'd felt so out of control while she was gone, and now I had that urge to be who I was before, who I'd always been. It was good to have her back. She raised her head and kissed my cheek softly, and then pecked the other side, as well, which was odd. She began to pull back, unraveling herself from my grasp, but I brought my free hand up to the back of her head and brought her mouth towards mine, stopping just as the end of our noses touched. She breathed in sharply and fluttered her blonde eyelashes. I was just about press my lips to hers, when she suddenly pulled back and looked above her. I realized that I had her carnations pressed into the top of her head. I chuckled and brought them around her front to give to her.

"For me?" she asked sheepishly. I nodded with a smile. "They're beautiful. Thank you." She grabbed them and brought them up to her nose.

I brought my hand up and stroked her curly locks. "How are you?" I questioned.

"_Molto bene, grazie_," she answered jovially, and pulled back. She placed the bouquet on her bed next to her suitcase.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked, having no clue what she just said, except for thank you.

She giggled and picked up the tissue paper wrapped object she had in her hands prior and began to undo the wrapping. "It means 'very good, thanks,'" she explained with a hint of a smile. "Isn't it such a beautiful language?"

I walked over to her bed and moved her suitcase a bit so that I could sit. "Are you unpacking?" I questioned. Her clothes were still in her suitcase, untouched.

She held up the item in her hands, some sort of glittery costume mask that was actually sort of creepy. "Isn't this pretty? It's a Venetian mask. I saw it and I knew I had to have it, so I brought it back." She marveled at her mask and turned around, placing it in various spots where it might look good.

I furrowed my brow. She was acting a bit different. First of all, she'd marginally noticed I was here and she wasn't conversing with me like she normally did. I wanted to know how her trip was, if she was okay, but I wasn't sure I'd get a proper answer out of her. "Tanya," I said stoically.

She froze with her mask and looked at me curiously. "What?"

"Can you put that thing down for a second? I haven't seen you in a week."

Her expression fell and she looked down. She placed the mask on her night stand. "Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I guess I don't really feel like I'm back." I patted my leg, urging her to sit on my lap. She walked over timidly and sat side saddle, looking down as she played with the hem of her shirt.

I began to slowly rub circles on her back. She seemed tense for some reason and her back was stiff as a board. I rested my other hand on her clasped thighs. "What do you mean?" I questioned.

She shrugged and sighed. "I don't know. I had a really, really good time in Italy, probably the best time of my life. It was such an experience and I learned so much. I was sort of reluctant to leave."

Oh, so that was why my mom said she was sad. It wasn't really because she'd missed me at all. I definitely realized when I saw her that I missed her, but had I _really_ missed her while she was gone? I honestly couldn't recall thinking about her much during that whole week. Perhaps my mind had been too occupied with being grounded and…Bella. I shook my head, dispelling my thoughts of her. I was with _Tanya_ now.

She continued, "I mean, things I never cared about before now mean something so different to me."

I stopped rubbing her back and cocked my head to the side. "Like?"

"Like…" She paused for a moment, deep in thought, and then smiled, her blue eyes shimmering. "Like, did you know how religious Italians are? I never even cared about religion before, but being there…_God_, it was just such an awakening." The smile she adorned was something I'd rarely seen from her. She leaned over into her suitcase and pulled out a red book. "Look, I bought a Bible."

I eyed it for a few seconds, then looked back up at her. I didn't think I'd looked inside a Bible before. I knew roughly what was in there, but I just never cared. "That's great," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. She opened the book and flipped through the pages. My eyes wandered down to her neck and I noticed a thin gold chain with a simple cross on it. I brought my hand up and touched the cross with my index finger. "What's that?"

She shut her Bible and looked down at her chest. "Oh! Isn't it nice? I got it in Torino. It's pure gold." She set her book down. "I think I'm going to start going to church. You think there's a Catholic church around here?"

I knitted my eyebrows together. "Tanya, aren't you Christian?"

She laughed. "Catholicism is a branch of Christianity, Edward."

"Okay…" I trailed off. Not that I wasn't glad that she was happy, but I had no idea about any sort of religious stuff, so I wasn't really sure how to respond. I thought the best thing to do was to just change the subject. "So, tell me what else you did."

She went into a very lengthy account of what she did and how much fun she had. She said her favorite part of the trip was Torino, which I was guessing was the Italian way of saying Turin. Even though she said that city was the highlight of her trip, she didn't really tell me a whole lot about what she did there. But, I was really happy that she seemed to have had fun. She hadn't asked me anything about what I did during the week, and a part of me was a bit put out that she hadn't bothered to inquire, but then again, I didn't want to tell her anything about what'd happened, so I knew it was a blessing in disguise.

After Tanya finished rattling on about the gifts she'd gotten and how she wanted to plan for another trip to Italy very soon, I decided to leave her to unpack and get some sleep. She seemed and even looked tired, but she wasn't acting like it. She said that she was too wound up to sleep and that she had stuff to take care of, but that she would see me tomorrow at school.

Something about seeing her was unsettling to me. I'd known Tanya for a long time and she'd never seemed that happy before. The way she fiddled with her Bible and her necklace was an indication that she'd had some sort of revelation about God or whatever, but it just didn't seem like her. Perhaps she changed. Hell, there were things I'd never thought I'd ever do that I did this past week. So, maybe I could understand Tanya a bit more in that sense. Though, I wasn't sure if I could understand myself.

X-X-X-X

Monday morning came quickly and everything pretty much went back to normal with Tanya home—oh, besides the large tattoo on my arm, but I was trying to ignore that the best I could. The only time I'd think about it was when I'd physically see it while getting changed, and then it'd remind me of Bella in an instant. I was trying my hardest not to think about her. For some reason, it just didn't feel right now that Tanya was back. It wasn't like I saw Bella, either. Her truck was missing from the parking lot and she definitely wasn't in Cooking for whatever reason. Even though it felt weird without her presence, I'd been grateful she hadn't shown up. What would I have said to her? Our drunken night had been odd, to say the least. I wasn't sure how to treat Bella now after that whole debacle. Were we friends? Did we have to talk to each other? I really didn't know. And I knew Bella wouldn't be of any help with her being the Queen of avoidance.

The dreamy sort of state Tanya had been in the day before had almost diminished now and she was acting like her old self a bit more. I guessed that she had still been on a metaphorical high from the excitement of her trip and that now it had worn out with the return of school and slipping back into a routine. She'd finally found out that I was in Cooking. Of course, Rose had to reveal that to her, and I hoped upon hope that that was the _only _thing she revealed to her. Tanya was a bit confused at first why I hadn't told her, because she actually thought it was "so sweet." And that was _exactly_ the reason why I didn't tell her, or anyone else for that matter. But, as long as my embarrassing class stayed within our inner circle, I was fine with them all knowing. However, if it would happen to get out, that'd be a different story.

After a rather boring Cooking class of making some sort of bowtie pasta dish that I couldn't even remember the name of, I made my way down the stairs to the first floor where my next period was. I told Tanya I would wait for her at the bottom of the stairs so that we could walk together, and Emmett usually met me there, anyway.

Emmett came out of a nearby classroom and then spotted me hanging by the stairs. When he reached me, he slapped a hand on my shoulder.

"So, your girl is back," he said. "How'd she take the T—A—T—T…" He paused and thought for a moment. "Hold up, are there two T's in there?"

I rolled my eyes. "Tell me, again, how they let you into advanced placement courses?"

He smirked. "I'm a genius, Ed. The school sees my potential. I thought this was obvious," he said, laughing.

I shook my head with a chuckle. "Right. I'm sorry I didn't see that before."

His expression turned serious again. "So, she saw it?" he asked curiously. "Did you guys…you know?" He gave me a sly smile.

"No, we didn't," I answered, annoyed.

"Not even petting or anything? Did you make out?" he asked.

I cleared my throat and shifted my eyes away. "We didn't even kiss," I admitted. "She did this weird thing where she kissed both sides of my cheek, but that was really it."

He wrinkled his nose. "My grandma does that to me all the time when she visits from France. Really annoying." Then, Emmett looked at me like I was crazy. "Hold up, you had a beautiful girl in her room, one you haven't seen for a while, and you didn't even kiss her?"

"I tried," I said, and shrugged. "I guess the timing was off or something."

"So, then, you didn't even tell her about your tattoo?" he questioned, and I was beginning to get a little fed up of him pestering me about it.

I looked around me, seeing if Tanya was in the vicinity. When I saw she wasn't, I turned back to Emmett. "No, I decided not to tell her."

He raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to manage that? She's going to see it eventually. Not to mention, tons of people saw it at the swim meet on Saturday. Someone will clue her in and it'd be better if it came from you and not someone stupid like Mike Newton."

A crease formed in my forehead as I contemplated this. "Yeah, but…" I trailed off. I honestly didn't think Tanya would be able to handle it. I knew her opinions on tattoos. In the past, we'd both agreed that tattoos were ridiculous ways of expressing one's self. She'd argued that if people wanted to express themselves, they could get a haircut or enroll themselves in an art class. I completely agreed with her…at the time. Now, I was pretty much a walking hypocrite for having one. I didn't even want to think about what her reaction would be. "I don't know. I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Like I said, Ed. She's going to find out whether it's from you or from someone else. At this rate, from someone else because you know how gossip flies around here."

I bit my lip tentatively. I guess I'd have to cross that bridge if and when the time came. For now, I just wanted things to be normal.

Tanya came up behind us a few minutes after and we headed towards our AP Literature class. When we were almost there, I told them I needed to go to my locker to get my textbook and binder, so they said they'd see me in class. As I opened my locker to switch out some binders in my messenger bag for my AP Lit binder, I saw Angela from my Cooking class, leaning against the lockers nearby. Ben Cheney, who was on the football team, was standing in front of her, his hand pressed against the locker door next to her head. Her face looked flushed and Ben was smiling down at her.

"It sucks that I don't see you around much," I heard Ben say to her.

She nodded shyly. "Yeah, I guess we don't have any classes together."

He chuckled and placed his index finger under her chin. "No, I'd definitely know if we had a class together."

If possible, Angela's face became even more red. "Oh—oh…well, yes," she stuttered. "I guess you would."

Again, Ben laughed. "What class do you have on the second floor? I just saw you coming down the stairs."

"Um," she fumbled quietly. "I have Cooking."

Ben cocked his head to the side. But, before he could reply to her, Jessica walked up out of nowhere and stood right in front of them with her arms crossed over her chest. Ben immediately dropped his arm. "Cooking?" she questioned, her expression one of disgust. "Why are you in there?" Ben glowered at Jessica and then looked away as if he was bored.

Angela shrugged and her eyes flickered back and forth between Ben and Jessica. "It's not a bad class. It's an easy A, to be honest. Though…it's weird sometimes because Bella and Edward are in there, too, and they're always—"

Jessica gasped, cutting her off, which made me cringe. I opened my locker door wider, trying to hide my head from their sight. I screwed my eyes shut and shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe Angela had opened her big, fat mouth and ousted me. _To one of the biggest gossipers in the school. _Shit, that was just perfect. Just goddamn perfect. Now I'd be the damn laughing stock of the school for being in a goddamn sissy class.

"Bella and Edward are both in cooking? Together?" Jessica asked, her tone overly excited.

"Well, I don't know about together, but—" Angela began to say before being cut off by Jessica again.

"Hold on," Jessica said. "Bella actually shows to that class?"

There was a bit of silence before Angela responded, "Yes…"

Jessica suddenly let out a bellowing, fake laugh, which died down into an exaggerated sigh. "Well, this has been fun," she said cattily. "Ben, don't hang out with the riffraff."

I pulled back a bit and peeked my head around the locker door, only to see Jessica and Ben walking away together while Angela remained leaning against the lockers, her eyes down to the ground with a solemn expression. A burst of anger rushed through me, and I slammed my locker shut loudly. Angela's eyes flickered up to mine in fear and she began to fiddle with the straps of her backpack. I took large steps over to her, fury clouding my head.

"What the hell, Angela?" I barked, stopping right in front of her. "Why did you tell them I was in class with you?"

She shook her head vehemently. "I didn't mean to…I'm s-sorry, I—I don't know why I told him!"

"You told _Jessica_," I seethed. "I didn't want anyone knowing I was in there." At this point, she looked terrified. I wasn't sure how I looked like to her, but I could feel a sense of uncontrolled craze coursing through my veins.

Her eyes darted around, looking anywhere but at me. "I—I just…it was nice for someone like Ben to pay attention to me for once…and I just…" Tears began to well up in her eyes, and a few fell down her cheeks. She wiped at them quickly. "I'm sorry."

I instantly felt awful, and my anger fully dissipated. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, she wanted Ben's attention, which caused her to say something she shouldn't have. I was sure it was an honest slip of the tongue and she hadn't meant to say it. If, by any chance, it got out that I was in Cooking, which it would now, I'd just have to deal with it.

"Hey," I said softly, watching her as she quietly cried. "It's okay. I'm not angry—well, I was before…but not anymore."

Her expression didn't change and she continued to allow the tears to fall. But, suddenly, her entire face contorted in agony and she brought her hands up to her forehead. "Oh God!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…" She continued to rattle off the same two words over and over again.

"What?" I questioned, alarmed at her behavior.

She stopped and her eyes flashed to mine. There was a mixture of fear, pain, and terror there. "Oh God…" she trailed off, took a few steps away from me, and then quickly ran off down the hall.

"Angela," I called out after her. Before I could follow her to ask her what the hell was wrong, the bell rang, and I cursed myself for being late. So, I grabbed my messenger bag and bolted to class.

X-X-X-X

"Hey, Ed! Go long!" Emmett demanded as we walked out of the double doors leading to the parking lot.

Before I had time to react, a book came flying at my head, its edge stabbing into my forehead. The book fell to the ground and I saw that it was a copy of _Much Ado About Nothing_.

"Em, next time you try to throw a book at me, at least _let_ me go long," I chided, and picked up the book to throw back at him, which he caught with an evil grin.

"Hey, I gave you fair warning," he said.

"A second is fair warning?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

I rolled my eyes and stopped on the sidewalk that surrounded the parking lot. Rose and Tanya had said they needed to use the restroom and they'd meet us outside. Alice and Jasper had quickly made a dash to his car and had all ready left. I didn't even want to know why, though I could probably guess.

I scratched the back of my neck and looked around hesitantly. "So…just out of curiosity…" I began, "has there been any talk of me being in Cooking?"

"Hmm," Emmett hummed in thought. "Well, besides me and Rose wondering what you'd look like in a girly apron, no, not that I know of."

After Angela's dash earlier, I hadn't heard any sort of gossip centering around me. I figured Alice would've tried to hunt me down at some point if there had been, but she never did. I wondered if Jessica had told anyone, and if she hadn't, why hadn't she? That girl had a mouth like a fish; she never could keep it shut.

Before I could ponder this anymore, a sudden, loud, ear splitting scream pierced across the bustling lot, and the sound of metal slamming harshly against metal thundered through the air behind me. Emmett's expression instantly became agonized and he let out a loud animalistic yell.

"NO!" he shouted, and ran passed me. I spun around, my eyes following him in bewilderment. That was when I saw what happened.

A beige Honda had backed into Emmett's jeep pretty badly, his taillights completely destroyed, but the damage was mostly done on the Honda. The entire back was crushed and the trunk hood had come unhinged slightly

"Not my car! No, no, no, no!" Emmett cried relentlessly as he approached the scene, no regard whatsoever for the driver in the Honda.

I ran over quickly as a crowd began to form around the crash, quiet whispers fluttering in the air. Emmett was squatted low to the ground where the two cars had collided, trying to see how much damage had been inflicted on his taillights. Because no one seemed to be getting out of the Honda, I looked down through the passenger's window. There was a girl in there, hunched over the steering wheel, unmoving. I couldn't get to the other side because the car was blocking any chance of getting around, but there was a guy on the other side who was watching the accident.

"Hey, you," I yelled to him over Emmett's belligerent cries and curses. The guy looked at me and began running over. "Can you get this girl out of the car?"

He opened the driver's door and carefully pulled out the unconscious girl, lowering her to the ground. I had to stretch up on my toes to look over the hood of the car. "I think she hit her head," he said.

"Who is it?" I asked.

He looked down at the girl in his arms, her dark hair masking her face. "I think it's Angela Weber," he said, and moved her hair out of the way, revealing a pair of bent glasses. "Yeah, it's definitely her."

A few more people rushed to Angela's side, trying to wake her up. I began to silently panic. I'd just been talking to her earlier, and now she was unconscious on the ground of the parking lot. What if she was dead? Ben Cheney suddenly ran over and practically dove over the space where Angela's car had impacted with Emmett's. He pushed past the curious onlookers.

"Move, move!" he urged, and bent low to the ground near Angela. "Is she…Is she dead?" he asked no one in particular.

"I—I don't know…" the guy who pulled her out trailed off. Ben visibly tensed, his face draining of color, and he grabbed his phone out of his pocket.

My eyes began to wander on their own accord around the expanse of the parking lot, looking around at everyone watching. Most of them were just standing there, not even attempting to help. My eyes continued to survey the lot, until they landed on a beat up red Chevy. On the hood of the truck sat Bella, one foot casually perched up on her bumper, the other dangling languidly back and forth. Her expression was completely void of any emotion as she watched the events that were unfolding, a lit cigarette nestled between her index and middle finger. Our eyes connected for the briefest of seconds, her expression unchanging, and she suddenly flicked her cigarette out in front of her towards the direction of the surrounding crowd, and then jumped off her truck in one fluid motion. Without another glance in my direction, she spun on her heel and walked towards the bushes, disappearing behind them. I remained rooted to my spot, my feet feeling heavily weighed down.

I looked back at Angela's still form, and then the bushes again, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd been so busy worried about myself being ousted, I'd completely disregarded that Bella was involved, too. She'd been just as worried about people finding out she was in Cooking than me. And then, I remembered what Angela had told me about how Bella had messed with the brakes of someone else's car that told a few people about her being in our class. I looked at the car smashed into Emmett's jeep. There was only one way that she could've crashed in reverse that hard: if she had floored it and her brakes had failed her.

Anyone would've been disgusted if they'd possibly known another person had done this on purpose. I, however, was mystified more than anything. How could Bella do something like that and not be affected by it? She seemed so detached as she watched Angela's frail body on the ground. Was it that important for her to prevent everyone from knowing she was in a dumb class that she'd put someone's life at stake for the preservation of her own image?

As I watched a howling ambulance pull up and wheel Angela's languid body away, there was one thing I knew for certain above all else.

Bella may have just murdered Angela Weber.

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**A/N: **

**This chapter was originally going to be much longer with more things going on, but I decided to cut it in half so that certain parts didn't go unnoticed in this chapter because of what's in the next. It would sort of overshadow it. So, I had to cut out a couple thousand words. Sorry! **

**A lot of you guys have painted Bella as an innocent soul. I'm curious to know what you think now after this chapter. Has your perception changed? Do you have doubts? Think she's still an angel? I already know the answer, but I'd like to hear from you. So, please review. **

**Next chapter is BPOV! Nah, kidding. It's always EPOV. Don't kill me.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
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	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **

**Thanks to Lindz26, who beta'd this while eating lunch with her kids. Lmao. I probably should've warned her ahead of time. Thanks to my pre-reader Renas40 for pre-reading as usual. And a very special thanks to Belindella for pre-reading and turning my chapter into a giant pink font jungle. And no, B, you'll never live it down, and nope, you can't use another color next time.**

**_Warning: This chapter earns its rating. Please don't eat lunch while reading this like my beta did...unless you're into that sort of thing. Thank you._

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The aftermath of Angela's accident had caused a frenzy within the school. All anyone could talk about was Angela's death, even though no one was actually sure that she was, in fact, dead. She hadn't shown up to school, so the rumors became even more insane. Somehow, the actual events of the accident twisted into a tragic scene of Angela becoming so sick of being the quiet, studious girl, that she ran her car into Emmett's jeep to take her own life. People were always so dramatic and loved coming up with the worst scenarios. As it was, no one knew how the accident came about, except for, perhaps, me. I had an inkling, at least. I remembered Bella's face as she watched the accident with cold eyes and how unfazed she appeared. Everyone around was frantic or curious, but not her, she was bone-chillingly calm as she analyzed the scene. There was no doubt in my mind that she had played a part in the accident.

The next morning, we all pulled into our usual spaces. The only difference was that I had a very sad Emmett riding with me. After Angela's car was towed away, we actually got to see a bit more of the damage on Emmett's jeep, which wasn't too bad, but to him, it was the end of the world. All it needed was some touch up paint and new taillights, but he was going on about how it was so ruined that he'd need a new car now. After all his complaining, he ended up just putting it in the body shop and asking me if he could bum a ride to school in the mornings until it was fixed. He said he would've asked Rose, but she usually picked up Tanya and occasionally Alice, so he didn't want to have to deal with the "chick talk," and he said he needed more "dick talk." Then he backtracked and said that that could be misconstrued as him being gay and wanting to talk about dicks, so he changed it to "not chick talk."

"That was where my Jeep used to park," Emmett mused sullenly, pointing to the empty space next to my Volvo as we pulled in.

I put the car into park and shut off the engine. "Yes, Em, I remember," I said, allowing him to grieve.

"It's like, my space is crying out to be parked in," he said, and got out of the car. "Now I know what you felt like when your Volvo got taken away."

"Glad I could have provided you with a comparison," I commented dryly.

We slung our bags over our shoulders and leaned against the car to wait for the girls to show. I wasn't sure why, but they always arrived at school after us. It wasn't like Rose was a slow driver. She'd drive so fast that if she ran over a dead body in the road, she'd barely even notice.

"You think the girl who nearly blew up my Jeep is dead?" Emmett questioned.

I shrugged, because I honestly didn't know. "I hope she's not."

"She looked dead," he remarked.

A few minutes later, a red BMW M3 pulled up nearby. I walked over instantly and opened the passenger door. Before I could offer my hand to help Tanya step out, she was already getting out of the car. Her eyes were downcast and she turned her back to me as she retrieved her bag.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her. She shook her head, her tight, strawberry blonde curls swaying.

Rose walked around from the driver's side and latched onto Emmett as they greeted. "She's upset with me," Rose admitted flatly.

Tanya whipped her head to Rose, a scowl on her face. "Be quiet, Rose."

Rose detached herself from Emmett and turned to Tanya, a bit remorsefully. "Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't want to hear the same things over and over again about your trip."

Tanya slammed the car door shut with a brutal force and then stepped around me to walk away. I stopped her by grabbing onto her arm.

"Hey," I said to her softly. "You can talk to me about your trip. I'll listen."

Her bright blue eyes wandered up to mine, a world of sadness floating within them. I wanted to take away whatever hurt she was feeling, but I had no clue why she was so sad to begin with and how to take it away. "Thanks, but I'm okay," she said quietly, and her eyes flashed away again.

A loud rumble broke through the parking lot and everyone's heads turned towards the obnoxious sound that invaded our ears. An opaque motorcycle roared into the lot, unaware of the stares, and stopped in a parking spot close by. I narrowed my eyes when not only did I see Jacob Black on the bike, but also Bella. Her arms were tightly wrapped around his waist as if holding on for dear life, her bare thighs brushing against his hips…

_Bare_.

She was wearing a short, leather, black skirt today. My eyes roamed down her smooth, pale legs, starting from her thighs down to her knees and towards her calves, followed by an obstruction of a pair of black boots. I watched her legs bend and straighten out as she got off the motorcycle. My eyes scanned up her slim body and to her arms, which were outstretched. Traveling further across the expanse of her arms, I saw her hands wrapped around Black's as she firmly planted her feet on the ground. They didn't release their hold on each other, though. He said something to her, staring down into her eyes as if she was his world, and she grinned unabashedly. I felt a sudden clenching in the pit of my stomach as I recalled her smiling like that with me just last week as she lay in the grass in the forest. I had been so consumed by confusion that I hadn't processed how warm her smile was, how I could look at it for days upon days and never grow tired of it. My gut wrenched while I continued to glower at them being so casual with each other, so oblivious to everyone around them. I could feel my fingers tighten around something soft and hear muffled voices resounding nearby, but I couldn't focus on them. All my senses were currently clouded by _her_. All I could see was Bella.

I was jerked out of my daze by a smack across my shoulder. I disconnected my eyes from her and turned to see Tanya with a strained expression on her face.

"Edward, you're hurting me. I said let go!" Tanya ordered, and pulled her arm back, which jerked my own forward.

I glanced down and realized I had a firm grip on Tanya's arm. The skin surrounding where my fingers were digging into her were deathly white as if there was no blood coursing beneath. I didn't let go, however. Instead, I grabbed a hold of her other arm and pushed her roughly against the side of the BMW. Tanya's back collided with the metal and her eyes whirled in fright. Without warning, I swooped down and smashed my lips to hers, harshly claiming her mouth. My head began to pound and the flow of oxygen ceased as I stopped breathing. I couldn't think straight, and I didn't want to. My mind felt numb. Her lips crushed beneath mine as I attacked them brutally. I pressed my body hard against hers, feeling her feminine contours. She whimpered against my mouth, or at least, I thought she did, that was until she began to shove against my chest while our lips were still attached. I ignored the clawing and continued my rampage on her wet mouth, sucking her bottom lip in between my own.

"Edward, stop," Tanya breathed urgently against my mouth.

At the sound of her delicate voice, my fingers slackened around her arms and my lips stopped their movement. I let go of the breath I'd been holding and instantly felt the pounding in my head disintegrate. Our eyes locked, hers were petrified, and then I suddenly felt horrible. I'd just forced myself on my girlfriend. She'd been trying to get away from me, and I'd ignored her. What kind of a sick monster was I?

I pulled back, putting a sizable amount of distance between us. "I'm sorry," I whispered, and walked off abruptly. I felt the heated stares on my back as I quickly fled, my head spinning and my chest throbbing.

X-X-X-X

I'd kept to myself most of the morning, remaining encased within my own unthinking thoughts. I refused to allow my brain to take over and force me to absorb what exactly had happened earlier. I hadn't spoken or looked at anyone since, especially not Tanya. She made no effort to talk to me, either, and rightly so. She hadn't deserved what I did to her. Some sort of selfish, animalistic need to control something had taken over my body and unleashed itself on her.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jasper whispered in my ear behind me.

We were sitting in AP Environmental Science while our teacher taught a lesson. I was taking notes as best as I could, but my mind just wasn't in it. I shook my head in response to Jasper and I heard his chair creak as he leaned back. I was afraid that if I spoke, my voice would betray how I was currently feeling.

I was confused, remorseful, but most of all, I was consumed by a desperate need to jump out of my own skin. I didn't want to be me—Edward Cullen, who had always been in control of everything. That feeling of spinning into infinity was scary, but it was also exhilarating and new. And the only time in my life I'd felt that way was with Bella. Seeing her earlier had reminded me of that and I began to crave it again. But watching her with Black was not something I could handle.

The thing was, I'd seen them tons of times together across the years, being exactly the same way, and I never cared. Why now? Why did it matter so much? Truth be told, I'd felt envious. There was Black, a royal jerk, and yet, she smiled and let him touch her. Around me, she was always abrupt and tense. It wasn't like we'd been talking for a while, but I couldn't help but want her to look at me the same way.

I'd thought that coming into this week, everything would go back to normal. I'd sink back into my routine of hanging with my friends, focusing on my grades, spending time with my girlfriend, yet none of that stuff appealed to me at the moment.

I set my pen down on my notebook and sunk lower in my chair. I didn't feel like forcing myself to focus when I knew there was no way I could. I glanced around the room, looking at all my peers working diligently. Rose and Alice were secretly passing notes under their desks to each other, looking at me every now and then. I turned my head forward and blocked them out of my peripheral vision.

As I bored a hole into the whiteboard straight ahead, I saw a flash of dark hair by the window on the door. I looked in the direction and saw Bella's profile pass by. I breathed in sharply and sat up straight, my heart clambering in my chest. She completely disappeared, and I was no longer able to see her. I swallowed thickly. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to talk to her. I shouldn't, but I wanted to. Why was she in the halls and where was she going?

I tore my eyes away and raised my hand high in the air.

Mr. Varner stopped his lecture and looked at me. "Yes, Edward?"

I cleared my throat, trying not to reveal the fact that my entire body felt on edge. "Can I use the bathroom?" I inquired, thanking God that I sounded normal.

He nodded in reply and then resumed talking. I slid out of my seat, ignoring the stares as I took deliberate steps towards the door. When I reached it, I pulled it open. As I stepped out into the hall, my eyes immediately scoured around for Bella like prey heightening their senses for any sight of their predator. I shut the door behind me and observed the very empty hallway. There was no one here. Had I imagined seeing her? Had I become delusional now and was envisioning her when she wasn't really there? Maybe it had been someone else entirely. No, that had definitely been her. I'd watched her side profile so many times in Cooking that I'd have been able to spot it anywhere. I'd practically memorized her face and how her nose turned a little red when she was cold or how she kept her mouth slightly parted when she was in thought, revealing a hint of her white teeth.

I began to walk down the hall towards the bathroom. She wasn't here, which meant I'd definitely been delusional. I wanted to kick myself for being so anxious. She probably wasn't even at school. Most likely, she was with Black. God, I hated that guy. I wished he'd just fall off the face of the earth and leave her alone. Though, I knew she wouldn't want that. For some reason, she actually liked him. An unknown reason that I didn't even want to think about.

I groaned and pushed open the bathroom door a bit harder than I'd meant to and it slammed against the wall. I stepped inside the small restroom with only three bathroom stalls and a few urinals on one side, and on the other were two sinks under a long rectangular mirror that stretched out across the wall. I sighed and pulled up my sleeves as I walked to the sink, looking at my tattoo momentarily. I turned the faucet on and allowed the hot water that immediately scorched my hand to soothe me. Strangely enough, it calmed my body that was so incredibly wound up. I shut off the water and grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser, taking my time to dry my hands. When they were completely void of any water, I threw the bunched up ball of paper into the trash and rolled my sleeves back down. I should've left after that and gone back to class, but I didn't move. Instead, I placed the palms of my hands on the edges of the sink and leaned my body into it, staring down into the drain. All I needed was a few more minutes to relax and then I could try to go back to class and focus.

An eerie, drawn out creaking nose filled the bathroom, echoing off the tiled walls. It stopped suddenly, and I looked up into the mirror. My eyes grew wide as they fell upon a pair of two dark brown irises. I spun around, wondering if I was hallucinating again, but when I took in the form of Bella, standing in an opened bathroom stall in front of me, I knew I wasn't imagining her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my mind not aware that I'd just spoken. I stared into her almost black eyes that appeared to be dilated. She wore the same blank expression on her pale face that she'd had yesterday after Angela's accident. The idea that she could've possibly hurt another human being should've been disconcerting. I should've run out of there immediately. Away from this girl that I couldn't figure out and shouldn't have wanted to. Yet, the thing was, that seeing Bella in front of me was what I'd wanted. But was I ready to talk to her again? My pulse was slamming against the inside of my neck and I had to force my stomach to expand as I took in shaky breaths.

She didn't utter a word. All she did was continue to pierce through me with her stare, her face an expressionless mask. I swallowed hard and gripped onto the sink behind me, unsure of myself or my sanity at this point. She began to take small steps towards me, our eyes locked. I wasn't afraid to hold her incinerating gaze, in fact, I wanted more of it. I wanted more of her.

She stopped in front of me, tilting her head up to look at me, since she was so much shorter. I couldn't hear her breathe, and I wondered if she was breathing at all. She brought her hand up slowly and pressed her palm on the flat plate of my chest. My body immediately reacted, my heart pounding, my shoulders tensing, my hands tightening their vice grip on the sink. This was the first time she was touching me, and although I'd thought earlier that I wanted her to, now the rational side of my mind wasn't so sure. However, the irrational part of me was reveling in her touch.

Her fingers began to fist my shirt, twisting it so her wrist faced up. She took a step backwards, pulling the shirt with her. Without thinking, I let go of the sink and took a step forward to be close to her again. She took more steps back, and I followed, our unwavering connection pulsing through the room. We both stopped and she reached her free hand around me. The loud, creaking sound ignited again and then I realized, we were in a bathroom stall and she was shutting the door behind us. I heard the click of the lock and I merely stared at her.

My mind was racing. I didn't know what to do. Why did she bring me in here and should I really be in a bathroom stall with someone else, especially Bella? Did she have something to say and didn't want anyone to see us talking? Was she scared to be seen with me? More importantly, was I?

All my inquiring thoughts flew out the stall when she pushed against my chest, backing me into the door.

"Bella, what are you—" I began to whisper, but she brought her index finger up to her red coated, pouted lips, silently telling me to be quiet…and I did. She blinked a few times, her long, dark lashes enhancing the depth of her brown eyes that were encompassed with some intense emotion I couldn't place. She removed her index finger from her lips and pressed the pad of it against my chest. I looked down at her hand and then back up at her, uncertain of what she was doing. One corner of her mouth turned up into a slight smirk and then she slowly began to drag her finger down the front of my body. Shivers ran through me while she trailed a path further and further down, taking her time. My abdominal muscles shuddered as she grazed over them. And then, I felt my body react in a way I'd rarely experienced so strongly. I became uncontrollably hard at the feel of her finger journeying closer and closer towards the place I'd never been touched before by anyone else but me. She traced the button of my jeans a few times and then lifted the tab of my zipper. My pulse quickened, loudly drumming inside my ears.

Bright red lights began to flash in my head along with warning alarms. My rational side was screaming at me, telling me to get the hell out of here and away from this girl who seemed to have this strange pull over me. But, when her pink tongue darted out and swiftly wet her lips while she unzipped me painfully slowly, all I could think was _hurry up_. My rational side became but a distant echo.

She hooked her finger inside the unzipped hole of my jeans, and pulled me further back into the stall. I allowed her to lead me, to take control of this moment because my mind was suddenly clouded by her nearness, rendering me incapable of thinking straight. She stopped when she couldn't go back further and sat on the edge of the toilet. Her knees fell open and she pulled me to stand between them. I watched through glassy eyes as she undid my jean button. I tried not to blink, just in case, somehow, she vanished from my sight. Whatever she was doing, I knew it was good, and I didn't want her to stop. She hooked her fingers into the waistline of my jeans, lingering for a moment, before dragging them completely down my legs to pool around my ankles. I swallowed loudly as I watched her exposing me, making me vulnerable to her. I had on boxer briefs and it was painfully obvious what was going on under there. I was almost embarrassed how hard I was that I was nearly poking out. She analyzed my erection for a moment, her eyes flickering around my bulge. Suddenly, she looked up at me from under her dark lashes with curiosity, and it took everything in me not to fully combust. Glancing back down with a look of determination, she pushed her hand through the hole of my briefs. When her soft fingers brushed against the sensitive skin and then fully wrapped around me, I hissed at the incredible sensation. I was unable to stop myself from twitching in her hand as she tightened her hold.

The only things that were running through my mind, that completely dominated my thoughts, was the fact that I was here with Bella–incredibly _sexy_ Bella—and that she had her small hand around me. Those two thoughts all but consumed me and I never wanted them to stop. Surprising me yet again, she pulled me out of my briefs through the hole and began to pump her fist steadily. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. Why she'd want to touch _me_ like this, I couldn't understand. However, my mind completely shut off as my body tingled at the pleasure that was begging to overpower me from her actions. All I could do was clench my teeth and ball my hands into fists at my sides so that I didn't cry out at how good it felt. It was nothing like when I did it myself, which wasn't too often. This was completely different. Better. _So damn good_.

She rubbed the tip with her thumb on the upstroke and smoothed out the glistening moisture that was beginning to form there. The physical pleasure she was giving me felt so surreal, that, again, I wanted to voice my praise, groan, moan, anything, but I knew I had to be quiet. I thought she was going to set a pace with her strokes, but she suddenly stopped, her hand wrapped halfway down my length. She found my eyes again, looking up at me from her subordinate position, and I saw a hint of hesitation there behind the cool exterior she had adorned moments prior. But, before I could question it, she wrapped her full lips around my tip and flattened her tongue against it.

"Shit," I whispered, my breaths coming out unevenly, and I slammed my hands against the stall walls on either side of us. My hips jerked forward a bit at the intense sensation of her wet, hot mouth on me, which caused her to take me in further. Her red lips fully enveloped me and the sight was enough to spark an uproar of pleasure throughout my body that I willed my best to keep at bay. I didn't care why she was doing it. I just wanted her to continue. She began to take me in and out of her mouth slowly, setting a steady pace. Her hand wrapped around the base of my length, which only heightened the intensity. I screwed my eyes shut, trying to ward off the extreme bliss I wanted to feel, but not just yet. But, as her pace quickened with her hand and mouth, I didn't think I could hold back. I could feel the escalation start and I flattened my hands against the walls even more, trying to keep myself upright as my legs began to shake.

A door suddenly slammed against the tiled bathroom wall, and my eyes shot open in fear of being seen. The escalation that had been growing fiercely within me immediately plummeted; however, Bella didn't stop, which kept the overall sensation very much alive.

"Yeah, I'll probably dump her by the end of the school year," a guy said, his pompous voice echoing throughout the bathroom.

I began to panic and tried to step back, since we were no longer alone, but Bella grabbed onto my hips and jerked me forward, which made me slip deep within her tight throat. I gritted my teeth to keep myself from shouting how goddamn amazing this felt.

"Why not do it now?" another guy asked.

Bella consumed my every thought as she swirled her tongue around the tip a few times and dipped into the slit, then set a pace again, but quicker this time. Her fingers tightened around my hips with the movement and I threw my head back, letting my eyes flutter closed. The desire to enjoy this outweighed the need to care that there were people in the bathroom with us.

"You're kidding, right? Eric, my man, she gives fucktacular head. I'm sure as hell not ready to let that go. But, if a certain hot ass chick would give into the temptation of being with the Mike master, then I'd dump Jess in a second."

I was too absorbed by Bella's tongue massaging me as she continued bobbing, that I didn't take in everything he said, but I did figure out that they were Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie. I wanted—no, _needed_ them to go_. Now._ I was so close, almost on the edge, that I didn't want them to be here when it happened. I didn't want to share this with anyone but Bella.

"Who?" I heard Eric ask, and the sound of a urinal flushing rang out.

"Who else? Bella, of course," Mike said matter-of-factly. "Who, by the way, is wearing the fucking hottest skirt I've ever seen. _Goddamn. _I know she wants me."

At the mention of her name, I opened my eyes and looked down at Bella, who had her brow furrowed as she took me deep into her throat again. I exhaled through my nose and clenched my fists against the stall walls, knowing I was going to explode any second now.

"I thought you said you were already with her?"

"Uhh…yeah…I was, but…she's a good lay and I know she likes my dick, so…yeah…" Mike said, their voices growing distant and disappearing as a door clicked shut.

Bella's eyes closed and I saw her shoulders start to shake. She began to laugh with me still in her mouth. The vibrations it caused rocketed through me and I let out an unrestrained groan, not caring who the hell heard me. I completely plunged over the edge and felt my balls tighten. I began to spasm violently as my climax overtook my entire body, immobilizing my mind and causing me to release hot streams into the back of her throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and saw bright white stars prickle behind my lids. She stopped moving, swallowing it all as warm spurts shot out. The sensations slowly died down, but my breathing remained heavy, ghosting out in deep pants. I swallowed thickly, trying to calm down. She took me out of her mouth and fit my now wilting erection back into the confines of my briefs.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked down upon her. Our gazes met, and I could see the same emotionless expression on her face from before. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. If only I could read her mind and figure out if she was just as confused as I was. Something had just changed between us, for that I was certain. I had to know what had just happened, besides the obvious physical act.

"I…" I began to speak. Every single word in the English dictionary, except for that one, escaped my brain, which felt like mush. I couldn't string together a sentence to save my life.

Bella let out a quiet laugh and then stood. Our eyes remained connected with each other and I took in every single detail of her face, her eyes, nose, cheeks. I was trying to find new things about them that I may not have seen before. When I looked down at her swollen lips, I remained there. I felt a pull to them, and I wanted more than anything in the world at that moment to press my lips to hers. I began to lean into her, her lips…so inviting…

She suddenly pulled back and ducked under my arms to get around me. The lock of the stall door clicked and she yanked it open. I tried to turn, but my jeans around my ankles were preventing me. I quickly brought them up, not even bothering to zip up or button them. I took a few hurried steps, trying to follow her. When I got out, she was already at the bathroom door, pulling it open.

"Bella…wait," I pleaded urgently. I needed her to stay. We needed to talk or something about what had just happened. She merely smiled and shook her head, then pressed her finger to her lips again in a silent request to stay quiet. Without a word, she walked out of the bathroom, leaving me alone.

The school bell blasted through the room, signaling the end of class.

X-X-X-X

I walked into the lunchroom, feeling as if I was set on autopilot. Everyone around me was talking and laughing, enjoying their break from school. When I saw Jasper sitting at our usual table, I walked up, grabbed a seat, and flopped down, my body spent.

"That must've been some piss, Ed," Jasper said, taking me out of my zombie state, "you didn't even come back to class."

My eyes fell to the table. "Oh…uh, yeah," was all I could say.

"But, don't worry, I brought your things," he assured, and kicked my bag to me on the floor.

"Yeah, thanks," I replied.

"Are you gonna get lunch?"

I shook my head, and blinked a few times. "No, not hungry."

"What's up? You're acting weird," he remarked with an analytical expression.

I tried to sit up a little straighter and then looked at him. "Everything's fine. Just a little tired."

"Maybe you should go home. You're sweating and…" he began to say, but I tuned him out when I caught sight of Bella entering the lunch room. She looked around briefly and then her eyes found mine. A small smirk spread across her lips, and then she looked away, walking towards an empty table. I never took my eyes off her as she sat down alone.

"Edward," I heard off to my side. I reluctantly turned away and looked to see Rose sitting next to me. "Did you hear me?" she asked.

"What?" I questioned dumbly.

"Tanya went home. She didn't say why, but I'm pretty sure it was because of what you did to her earlier. Are you happy now?"

The mention of Tanya's name shocked the hell out of me, and I abruptly stood, causing the back of my chair to fall to the ground.

"Geez! What the hell's the matter with you?" Rose growled.

_SHIT! Tanya! _

I hadn't even thought of her. The entire time, she never even crossed my mind. Not for one single _fucking_ second. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to slowly slaughter my entire body and watch the light go out of my eyes. How could I have done something like that? How could I have been so stupid, so inconsiderate? I was sick. I was an animal, driven by lust. Because that was all it seemed to be with Bella…pure, unequivocal, lust. I let myself give into her goddamn power that she seemed to have over every guy in this stupid ass school. I was no better than any of them, and I hated myself for it.

Not bothering to right my seat again, I quickly left the table and fled out of the lunchroom as fast as I could, blocking out the stares and my name being called, and especially avoiding Bella's searing gaze. I walked down the hall, not knowing where exactly I was going, just walking as fast as I could, as if that would help matters.

"Ed, wait up!" I heard behind me, but I kept walking, picking up my speed. I couldn't let anyone see me, because I was about to have a goddamn breakdown any minute. "Ed, what's wrong?" The voice was right next to me, and I turned slightly to see Emmett walking alongside me, trying to keep up. Nausea washed over me in waves and I stopped to bend over, placing my hands on my thighs. "Whoa, man…you don't look so good. Are you okay?"

I shook my head and gasped for air. "I'm in so much shit, Em," I choked out, my voice hoarse and laced with fear.

Emmett grabbed onto my shoulders and brought me up. "Dude…," he said in a concerned tone. "Your face is pale as hell…even more so than usual." He laughed.

"This isn't funny," I seethed.

He snatched his hands back and held them up in surrender. "Okay, calm down," he urged. I took a few deep breaths, trying to keep down the insides of my stomach from flying up and out of my throat. "Why don't we go in the bathroom and we can talk about it."

My eyes went wide and I shook my head furiously. "No, I can't," I breathed frantically. I couldn't go back in _there_. Not where she had been. Where we'd…I couldn't even think about it. I'd lose it if I did.

"Well, our only other option is the girl's bathroom and—" He cut himself off when I quickly turned and walked towards the girl's bathroom. "You've got to be kidding me."

I pushed the door open, only to be met by two young girls putting on lip gloss in the mirror. "Get the hell out of here," I growled, annoyed by their presence.

They gasped in fear and fumbled with their stupid little purses, then ran past me and out the door. I stepped in and leaned over the sink.

Emmett followed me in and looked behind him, watching the girls flee. "God, Ed. Did you have to be mean to them? They're just freshmen—"

"I don't give a fuck about them!" I yelled, my harsh voice bouncing against the walls and causing shrill echo.

He froze in his place, and the bathroom grew silent, save for my overzealous breaths of air. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed a hand over my face, my shaven skin beginning to prick me with new stubble. "Tanya…" was all I managed to utter.

"Is it about this morning when you—"

"No," I answered immediately, cutting him off. But, then I realized I had to correct myself, because that was part of the issue, though not for hurting her, which I should've felt horrible for. All of this had started when I saw Bella this morning with Jacob Black. Before that, I'd been perfectly fine. "Yes."

"Is there something else?" he asked.

I nodded solemnly and pushed off the sink, letting out a loud, shaky sigh as I tried to get myself together. "I did something bad," I admitted. I brought my forearms up to rest above my head on the wall of the end stall. I leaned my forehead against my arm and closed my eyes.

"You can tell me, man," he assured softly.

I took a deep breath. "Bella," I whispered simply, cringing at the way my voice seemed to caress her name.

He gasped. "You _did _Bella?"

I dropped my arms immediately and glowered at him. "No, I didn't _do_ Bella."

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "What did you do with her, then?"

"We…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't vocalize it. If I did, it would become all the more real.

"You did _something_, didn't you?" he questioned, but it came out more as a statement. I nodded in reply, feeling miserable that I was admitting to this. "Man…I always teased you about getting with Bella, but I never thought you'd—"

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped desperately. "God, Em. I know what I did, but at the time, it just seemed so fucking right and she…God…she…" I put my hands on my forehead. It was beginning to throb. My skin felt like it was about to burst. It had been like I was possessed by her. I wanted to be near her and had felt drawn to her. I couldn't even explain why I'd allowed myself to let her do something like that to me. And she probably did that all the time with guys, too. I was instantly reminded of Mike Newton's conversation in the bathroom and how he said he'd been with her. I was in over my head to have ever let her take control of me like that.

"What are you gonna do about Tanya?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet," I answered quietly.

I hated having to keep anything from Tanya, but I couldn't tell her about this. I couldn't risk destroying the relationship we'd built. She was not just my girlfriend, but she was my friend, and I couldn't break her heart like that. I'd already treated her like shit earlier; I couldn't add more crap to it. I hoped she never found out, and I prayed that my incident with Bella would disappear from my memory all together. I wished I had never followed her right from the very start. I wished I'd never bought her that stupid fucking apple. My curiosity had gotten the better of me with her, and now it landed me in a pile of shit.

"And…what are you gonna do about Bella?"

It would have to be as if Bella had never entered my life. I had to forget her and go back to the way things were. She was a poison, a goddamn fucking poison that destroyed everything in her path.

"Absolutely nothing."

* * *

**A/N:**

**No, Edward was not dreaming. I'm sure there's mixed reactions out there over what happened. Based on my pre-readers and beta, I'm guessing it ranges from "WTF?" to "Holy shit, yeah!" **

**Well, I'm not entirely sure when I'll get the next chapter up, since it's Eclipse week and I'm going to be practically living at the movie theaters. If I don't get the next chapter out to you guys by next Wednesday, then you'll know it'll be the Wednesday after. However, you can follow me on Twitter and know first hand. I blab a lot there. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **

**Thanks to those that continue to read and were patient while I took my time updating this. Unfortunately, when the writing on my other story Hate Me gives me trouble, my writing for this one gets affected. And hello to all my new readers I got in the two weeks or so I didn't update. **

**My beta is Lindz26 and she's super awesome. She always has good Robporn. My pre-reader is Renas40 is amazing, as usual.

* * *

**

As soon as the end of lunch arrived, I couldn't have gotten into my Volvo fast enough. Emmett offered to bum a ride from Rose after school, so I was off the hook with taking him home.

The streets were empty and wet from the rain as I raced over to Tanya's house. Something in the back of my head nagged at me that things weren't okay between us. I couldn't place it, but the fear was there and it was strong. I knew whatever reason she went home for, it was because of me. It had to have been. The thing was I'd never known Tanya to intentionally skip out on a day of school without having a viable reason. Then again, I'd skipped a lot more classes this year than I ever had in previous years combined, and we were still in the first month of school.

My windshield wipers squeaked to a stop against the glass as I pulled into the Denalis' driveway. I cut the engine and got out of my car. The slight drizzle of rain began to coat my hair and face as I made my way to their front door. However, when I went to press the bell, the door flew open, revealing a very agitated looking Mrs. Denali. Her bright blue eyes widened as she nearly ran into me, trying to exit the house.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, flustered, and took a step back into the doorway in confusion. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to look decently presentable. "Hi, Mrs. Denali. Is Tanya here?" I asked nervously.

She shook her head and then moved past me, pulling the door shut with her. "I don't know where that girl is," she muttered under her breath as she walked over to her a shiny black Lexus.

I followed her. "She's not here?"

She stopped at the driver's door and fiddled with her car keys, trying to press the button to unlock the doors unsuccessfully. She huffed and turned to look directly at me. "She came home all belligerent, acting like a spoiled brat, throwing things around the house and acting like an animal!" she exclaimed in anger. "I told her if she couldn't behave like a proper lady, then she'd better leave." She finally unlocked the car door and then yanked it open. She began to step into the Lexus, but I quickly grabbed the door, attempting to make it look like I was going to close it for her, but really, I just wanted to ask her more questions.

"So, where is she now?" I asked.

Mrs. Denali settled herself in and adjusted the rear-view mirror. She suddenly got caught up in looking at her reflection, making sure her lipstick wasn't smudged. I'd always known her to be a little vain, but this was ridiculous.

"Mrs. Denali?" I questioned, trying to get her attention.

She snapped out of her self-adoration and whipped her head to look up at me. "One of her little tennis friends came and got her—the one whose mother was caught fooling around with their gardener." She shook her head in disapproval. "And to think, she won the custody battle as well as got the house—"

I cleared my throat, interrupting her. "Thanks, Mrs. Denali," I said solemnly. "I'll let you go." I was just about to close her car door, when she held up her index finger to stop me.

"Oh, Edward. We'll be coming over to your house later tonight," she revealed casually. I had to stop myself from groaning in dismay. I wasn't in the mood for one of the usual get-togethers. Mrs. Denali's expression turned venomous in a flash. "Hopefully that child of mine gets her act together before tonight. I will _not_ have her embarrassing me. When you get a hold of her, tell her that if she doesn't show up at your house at exactly seven o'clock this evening, I will hunt her down and drag her by the hair, and then I'll inform her father of her unruly behavior." With that, she slammed her car door shut, and reversed out of the driveway.

I watched as her Lexus pulled away. Tanya's parents had always been much more concerned about their image than most. Though, I'd never known Mrs. Denali to get upset at Tanya before. I wondered briefly why she'd been throwing things around the house, and I hoped it wasn't because of me.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell to call her. I had no clue who Tanya was with—Kate or Irina—but, hopefully, she'd pick up her phone. After the phone rang once, it went straight to voicemail.

"_Hi, you've reached Tanya Denali. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave your name, your number, and a brief message, and I'll—"_

I hung up with a sigh, not bothering to leave a message. She was avoiding me. I expected this after how I treated her earlier, but I had no clue how to rectify the situation. I pondered for a split second if perhaps she had heard about…what I'd done earlier… but I realized it wasn't possible. The only person that knew was Emmett and I could trust him with my life. Well, him and the obvious—the person I'd done it with—but she wouldn't tell anyone, would she?

Hopefully, Tanya would come to my house tonight and I could apologize or something in order to win her over again. I had to make sure we were alright, because if we weren't, I didn't know what I'd do.

X-X-X-X

There was a knock on my bedroom door, and I quickly pushed the strap of my belt through the consecutive loops of my black slacks.

"I'm almost done, Mom," I called out, doing up my belt before picking up my dark brown dress shoes and sitting on my bed. I hated that we always had to dress up for this, but I really never had a say.

"It's your father," a deep, controlled voice wafted through the door.

I froze, holding one shoe on my thigh as I undid the laces. Had I done something? My father never came to my room. I looked around briefly to see if my room was clean so that he wouldn't be disgusted. When I saw that it was, I told him he could come in. The door creaked open and he stepped inside, holding a white paper packet. He was dressed in a dark gray suit with a maroon colored shirt beneath.

He looked around with a blank expression. It was, no doubt, the first time in a while he'd seen the inside of my bedroom. When he was satisfied with his curiosity, he held out the packet for me to take, which appeared to have been opened already. I noticed he had his reading glasses on, so that meant he'd looked through whatever was in it.

"What's this?" I questioned.

He pushed the packet closer to me when I didn't take hold of it. I carefully took it from him and reached inside, pulling out a few papers. It was a college application form to Yale. Most of it had already been filled out. Actually…almost _all_ of it had been filled out, except for the space that required my signature.

"You need to fill out the rest by tomorrow," he urged, and turned to leave.

I huffed incredulously. "I might need a little extra time. Signing my name is extremely difficult, you see," I sneered sarcastically without thinking. A moment too late, I realized I should've just kept my mouth shut.

He spun back around, his expression contorting in infuriation. "Excuse me?" he questioned slowly.

I sighed and placed the application next to me on the bed. "Nothing," I muttered, and went back to putting on my shoes.

He took off his glasses and crossed his arms over his chest. "Have I offended you in some way?" he asked cynically.

"No, sir," I mumbled, looking down as I tied my laces.

"_You're welcome_ would do just fine, Edward," he said. "I was doing you a favor. The sooner you get all of this out of the way, the less time you have to worry about it. But, of course, if my help is a burden to you, then I'll make certain to let you handle your academic career in the future." With that, he turned and swung the door further open to accommodate his hurried movement as he left. It slammed against the wall and bounced back until it crashed shut.

I stared at the door for a few minutes, my neck stiff and my jaw shut tight. I stood and threw the application on my desk, not mindful to treat it with care at all. I couldn't be bothered to sign the dumb thing or even look at it, to be honest. How could he just do everything for me without my consent? It was _my _life. It was almost like he didn't seem to think I could take care of my own future.

There was a knock at the front door downstairs, interrupting my agitated thoughts. I could hear my mother's imitation of an excited voice as she greeted whoever was at the door, who I knew to be the Denalis. It wasn't like my mom didn't like them, but I could tell she put up with Mr. and Mrs. Denali for my father and me.

I left my room and jogged down my steps, nervous and anxious to see Tanya, but more nervous than anything. I had no clue how she'd receive me.

"Edward," Mrs. Denali greeted enthusiastically as I walked down the steps. "It's nice to see you." She smiled brightly at me as if she hadn't acted disturbingly earlier. She had a bottle of wine in her hands that she passed to my mom.

"Nice to see you, too," I said politely, and realized Tanya wasn't with her. I furrowed my brow, wondering if she was going to come at all.

Mr. Denali and my father were already in the living room, talking about what they usually talked about as soon as they saw each other—golf and the stock market.

I noticed Mrs. Denali was looking at her watch and shaking her head. My mom led her into the living room to sit on the sofa.

"Edward," my father called, catching my attention instantly. "Come here." Mr. Denali and my dad were staring at me expectantly. I walked over to them, feeling uncomfortable already.

"Your father and I have been discussing the possibility of you working part time for me at my office in Port Angeles. How does that sound?" Mr. Denali asked, his eyes boring into me through his clear glasses.

Before I could answer, my father chimed in, "I think that is a very generous offer."

I wanted to voice my disagreement, but I knew that once my father and Mr. Denali agreed on something together, the deal was done. But what could I possibly offer Mr. Denali? I had no office skills. I'd never worked a day in my life.

"It'll be good for him to learn some discipline," Mr. Denali remarked to my father quietly.

_That,_ certainly, made me speak up. "With all due respect, sir, I don't feel I'm qualified to work for you. Plus, I'll be going away to Yale next year, if I get in," I replied.

Mr. Denali looked at me as if I defied him in some way. His narrowed his eyes flashed with a hard expression. "You wouldn't be doing anything pressing; sorting through mail, faxes, assisting me when I'm in town. An untrained monkey or even my blonde receptionists could handle it."

My eyes widened at his callousness. My mother always argued that he had no respect for women, and at this moment, I had to agree with her.

"Thank you for the offer, Richard," my dad spoke calmly. "He'll consider it." He then leaned into my ear. "Go with your mother." His tone was harsh and threatening, and I instantly walked away, but not towards her.

I walked towards the stairs to go back to my room. _Screw this dinner_, I thought. _I don't even want to be here._ But as I was climbing the stairs, Jasper suddenly came flying down, almost ramming into me. He stopped just as we were about to collide.

"Whoa," he said, steadying himself on the railing. "My bad. I didn't think anyone would be coming up the stairs, since the Denalis are here." He wrinkled his nose and looked over the banister and into the living room at where my parents were talking to them.

I looked at his appearance and saw he was wearing one of his plaid shirts and jeans. "Why aren't you dressed for dinner?" I asked.

He snorted. "No way am I staying here. I'd rather eat a tub of lard," he said, and continued down the steps.

I followed directly behind him. "You have to be here. We do this all the time, you know that."

He grabbed his keys off the key rack. "Uncle Carlisle said it was okay that I go out tonight," he admitted.

I knitted my eyebrows together. Of course he would let _Jasper_ go out while I had to be put through this hell. "If I have to stay here, you have to stay here."

He rolled his eyes. "Give me a break. I'm not gonna be long, anyway. Just going with Em to see the new M. Night Shyamalan flick."

Damn. I really wanted to see that movie. "_Devil_?" I asked, even though I already knew that was the title.

He thought for a moment and then shrugged. "I don't know. The one where they're trapped in the elevator or something." He jingled his keys at his side. "Why don't you come with us?"

I frowned, because I really wanted to, but I couldn't. "I'm still grounded, remember?"

He nodded and slapped a hand on my shoulder. "I'll tell you how it is, then." With that, he opened the door. "It'll probably be like that bullshit movie _The Village_. His movies blow. They aren't even that scary."

I flared my nostrils and followed him outside into the darkened driveway where his Saab was. "His movies do not _blow_," I reiterated. "_The Village_ was profound. It's about the psychology of fear. His movies aren't meant to be horror films. They're supposed to make you think."

He opened his car door and leaned against it. "Nah, they pretty much blow."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, I wouldn't expect someone like _you_ to understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

_That you're a dumbass. _

A bright light suddenly shined over us and we both held up our hands to shield our eyes. A red Audi convertible suddenly pulled into the driveway behind Jasper's car. The lights turned off, but no one got out of the car.

"Who's that?" I asked Jasper.

"No clue," he answered, "but they better move out of the driveway in about two minutes otherwise they'll find a nice dent in the bumper."

The passenger side of the convertible opened and I saw a mop of curly, strawberry blonde hair appear. I quickly walked around the back of Jasper's car and to the Audi's passenger side. Tanya's eyes landed on mine. In the dark, I couldn't make out her expression, but she turned and bent over to talk briefly to whoever was in the car, before standing up straight.

"Hey," I greeted, unsure of myself.

"Hey," she said back, and looked down at the pavement. Her voice was a bit hoarse, as if she hadn't been using it much.

"Hi, Edward!" a chipper voice said from inside the car. I looked inside and saw Kate smiling brightly at me.

"Oh, hey, Kate," I said a bit unenthusiastically.

"You look _really_ nice," she remarked, eyeing my clothes.

"Um, thanks."

"Tan," she called abruptly.

I moved back so Tanya could talk to her. "Yeah?" Tanya questioned.

"You gonna be okay?" Kate whispered.

Tanya cleared her throat softly. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Okay. Call me if…you know…"

"Alright," Tanya agreed, and stood straight. She placed her hands on the door, half of her palm resting on top of mine by accident. She looked at me, removed her hand swiftly, and then walked away.

"See ya, Edward!" Kate said, and started the car. The headlights lit up the driveway, and I saw Tanya giving Jasper a hug.

I shut the door and stood back as Kate's car pulled out of the driveway. I could hear Jasper and Tanya talking quietly about something, so I walked over to them.

"Yeah, it's fine," Tanya said to him, then stopped talking when she saw me approach.

"What's going on?" I asked them, eyeing Jasper pointedly.

"Well, I'm gonna head out," Jasper said, and smiled sheepishly at us both. "You two have fun in there." He got into his car and shut the door.

I turned to Tanya, but saw she was already walking towards the house. "Tanya, wait up," I called. She froze and turned to me, but didn't say anything. When I got to her, we walked in silence. I held open the door for her and she walked through, turning her head towards the sounds of our parents laughing at something. She began to walk towards them, but I grabbed her hand, keeping her in place. She looked at me with a blank expression, and then I knew for certain that she was upset with me.

In the light of the entry way, I could see that her eyes were puffy and slightly red. Had she been crying? I felt awful and had no idea how to fix this. Tanya and I had hardly ever had a disagreement. None that entailed me having to apologize to her. I really didn't know what to say to put us back where we were before today…or even before she left for Italy.

"Talk to me," I said quietly, rubbing my thumbs over her knuckles.

She shrugged. "There's nothing to talk about," she replied, and slipped her hand out of my grasp. I scratched the back of my neck and followed her into the living room. This was going to be harder than I realized, I guess.

"Tanya, sweetheart, there you are," Mrs. Denali said happily, standing to greet her daughter. Even though her voice was laced with sweetness, she glared directly at Tanya with a scolding look and assessed her clothing. Tanya hadn't changed out of the outfit she wore at school today.

"We were just discussing you, Tanya," my mother said with a warm smile. "I hear you had a wonderful time on your trip."

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen," Tanya replied.

"You'll have to tell me all about it," my mom said.

Tanya merely nodded and looked down at the ground. My mother looked at me and slyly nudged her head towards Tanya. I raised an eyebrow in question. She did it again, this time, moving her eyes, as well. I had no idea what she wanted me to do, but I supposed it had to do with Tanya, so I grabbed her hand and led her into the kitchen. When we were in there, I stopped and let go of her hand.

"Are we going to talk about earlier?" I asked.

Her light blue eyes refused to look at me. "What do you mean?" she questioned.

I sighed and leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. "Look," I started, "I'm sorry I hurt you earlier. I don't know what came over me." At least I was being honest. I had no clue what had possessed me to treat Tanya so disrespectfully.

She finally looked at me with some sort of determination in her eyes. "I'm not hurt," she said, a bite to her tone. She completely turned her head away, looking at the various picture frame magnets on the refrigerator with photos of me and my parents.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

She turned back to me. "Like what?"

"Well, for one, you can barely look at me, let alone talk to me," I explained. "You left early from school today and you didn't even send me a text to let me know why you skipped or if you were okay. Not to mention, you sent my call straight to voicemail when I called you after school."

She blinked a few times and then shifted on her feet. She breathed in through her nose and then exhaled in a sigh. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it and dropped her eyes to the floor again.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" I questioned pleadingly. "I said I'm sorry. What more do you want me to do?"

She hung her head and moved past me, her arm rubbing against mine as she walked by. "Leave me alone, Edward," she said.

I turned around and braced my hands against the counter. Why the hell was she acting so standoffish? I was trying to fix whatever was wrong between us, but she didn't even want to try. Did she want me to grovel on my knees to her or something? Like hell. I wasn't going to do that. If she couldn't accept my apology, then that was her problem, not mine.

My mom called out to me from the dining room, and I made my way out of the kitchen. My dad and Mr. Denali were talking intently as they left the living room, and Mrs. Denali was speaking quietly to Tanya, who seemed to be completely distracted.

"Go sit down, sweetie," my mom said to me.

We all walked to our usual chairs, my mother and father at the heads of the table, Mr. and Mrs. Denali on one side, while Tanya and I were on the other. I pulled out Tanya's chair, like I always did, and she sat down quietly. As I took my seat, I had a brief moment of wanting to make amends with her again, so I went to grab her hand under the table. She quickly snatched her hand away as if I were a leper. I kept my hands to myself after that.

The rest of dinner was tense, as always, at least for me. Mr. Denali talked aimlessly about his business endeavors, as well as made very lame jokes about his investments in the stock market. _A long term investment is a short term investment that failed. _What the hell did that even mean? My father laughed along with him as if it was the funniest, most clever thing in the world. My mother kept looking at me for some reason, and after the third time, I made an effort to completely ignore her. When dinner was almost finished, of course, Mr. Denali asked what I'd done this week, to which I skirted around the answer of "nothing." He gave me one of those looks that always made me want to sink down in my chair.

"So, Tanya," my mother started. "Tell us a little bit about your trip."

Tanya shifted in her chair, not expecting to have been addressed. She hadn't said anything the entire meal. "I don't really know what to say," she said quietly.

There was a tense silence for a moment, before my mother spoke again gently. "Well, your mother told me you went to several cities in Italy. Which city was your favorite?"

"I don't have a favorite…" Tanya answered.

"All you've been talking about since you've been home is Turin this and Turin that," Mrs. Denali piped in, appearing agitated.

"So, you enjoyed Turin?" my mom questioned. Tanya merely nodded, then began fiddling with her fork. My mother started grabbing our plates. "I'll just get the dessert."

"I'll get it, Mrs. Cullen," Tanya offered, and before my mom could reply, she hurried out of the dining room.

Mrs. Denali pushed her chair back and stood slowly. "Excuse me," she said, and followed after Tanya.

My father and Mr. Denali started speaking again to each other, unfazed. My mom gave me another one of her looks that she'd been giving me all evening.

"What?" I asked her in a whisper.

"Go help Tanya get the dessert," she ordered, as if I should've known to do this.

I placed my napkin from my lap on the table with a sigh and stood. I exited the dining room and made my way towards the kitchen. As I neared it, I could hear Mrs. Denali's cold voice. I stopped just short of the door and listened.

"You are embarrassing me, Tanya," Mrs. Denali scolded slowly.

"But, Mother—!" Tanya began to exclaim in exasperation. Her voice was raw and heavy.

"Don't," Mrs. Denali reprimanded. I could hear a loud sniffle, and I realized that Tanya was crying. "Get a hold of yourself. And I can't believe you came here wearing these awful clothes. Since you started hanging out with that stupid girl, Candice, you've been wearing nothing but these revealing outfits."

"Her name is _Alice_, and I can wear what I want," Tanya spat.

"You listen to me," Mrs. Denali said threateningly. "Ever since you came back from that waste of a trip, you've been acting like a selfish brat. If you continue to behave like this, I won't hesitate to send you off to boarding school."

Tanya sobbed quietly and sniffled again. "Dad won't let you," Tanya said defiantly.

"Your father does what _I _tell him to do, and don't you forget that," Mrs. Denali whispered harshly. "Now, you're going to go back out there and behave like the young lady I raised. When Esme asks you a question, you answer it properly. You understand me?" Tanya's sobbing got a bit louder, and they both didn't speak for a while. "Oh, stop your ridiculous crying, child." With that, I heard the clicking of heels growing louder. Mrs. Denali exited the kitchen. She stopped when she saw me, raised an eyebrow, and carried on towards the dining room.

Hearing Tanya continuing to cry in the kitchen, I quickly walked in. She was bent over the counter, her head resting on her arms as she sobbed into them. I knew I'd told myself it was now her problem that she refused to speak to me, but I didn't hesitate to walk over to her. She allowed me to move her away from the counter and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She pressed her face into my chest, her soft cries muffled, and fisted my shirt.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, hoping she'd accept it this time. She grabbed on tighter to my shirt and rested the side of her face against my chest. "This dinner sucks, doesn't it?" She nodded, and I laughed lightly. "Let's go to my room. Don't worry; I'll make an excuse to my mom."

"Okay," she whispered, and slowly let go of me.

"Stay here, I'll be back in a second," I said, and grabbed the cake platter on the counter that had a strawberry cheesecake on it. I carried it out of the kitchen and into the dining room where they were all chatting to each other.

"Just set that down in the middle of the table, dear," my mother instructed. I did as she told me, and then leaned down to her ear.

"Tanya's tired and not feeling well. I'm going to take her into my room and let her sleep for a while," I somewhat lied.

"Should your father take a look at her?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No, she just needs to rest, I think."

"Okay, let me know if she needs anything."

I agreed and walked back out of the dining room and to the kitchen. Tanya was fiddling with the magnets on the fridge, her back to me.

"Come," I ordered, and held out my hand.

She turned and stared down at my outstretched hand. After looking like she was hesitating to take it, she threaded her fingers through mine and followed behind me as we made our way through the house and to the stairs. A few times, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look at me, but when I'd turn my head, she'd glance away.

I held the bedroom door open for her and she walked in, looking around as if she'd never seen my room before. I shut the door behind me and walked over to the bed. I sat down and watched her. She was looking down at my desk at something as she shifted on her feet. She picked up some papers and held them up.

"You haven't sent this in yet?" she questioned, and I realized she was holding up my Yale application. I shook my head and began to take off my shoes. She set the papers back on the desk and sighed. "Me, neither."

I tossed my shoes on the floor and moved higher up on the bed to lie down. She half sat on my desk, half stood, staring at the covers on my bed as if she were deep in thought.

"I told my mom you were tired and feeling sick, so you should probably…" I trailed off, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

"Oh, yeah," she mumbled, and walked around the bed to the empty spot. She took off her shoes and lay down next to me, on her back.

We both stared up at the ceiling, not speaking for several minutes. I couldn't figure out what to say to her. As much as I knew about her, and as comfortable as I'd been in the past talking to her, right now, I just couldn't find any words to speak. Everything just felt…different. I wasn't sure what, but things just didn't feel the same and I couldn't pinpoint it. I tried to convince myself that it was just my annoying need to over analyze everything, and I began to believe that excuse.

I flipped on my side and looked at her. She blinked a few times then turned her head towards me, her tight curls shifting against the pillows. We stared into each other's eyes, both our minds at work. My inner worries began to gnaw at my brain again, telling me something wasn't right and that I needed to fix it.

"Tanya," I whispered, and moved closer to her, our faces but a breath away. Her citrusy aroma filled my senses, something that I hadn't paid attention to in a while. Her lips parted and my eyes automatically went to them. They were pink and full. They were familiar, and I longed for that feeling of familiarity. I wished more than anything that time could rewind to when everything made sense.

Very slowly, I inched my face closer to hers. My lips prickled slightly as I gently brushed them against hers. She remained frozen, unmoving. I pressed my lips firmer against hers and waited…I waited for that feeling. The one that told me things were going to be okay. When it didn't come, I took her top lip into my mouth and sucked lightly. The familiar feeling still wasn't there. I brought my hand up, wrapped it around her small waist, and shifted her so she was on her side, facing me. She let me move her as if she was a rag doll. I kissed her with more intensity and waited again. There was nothing…

Incensed and confused, I moved on top of her, the entire length of my body molding to hers. I grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head as I kissed her roughly. She began to respond, but not quickly enough for my moving lips. I groaned and pressed my slight erection into her. She gasped against my mouth. Nothing could stop the next thought that popped into my head—Bella's mouth sliding down my hardened length slowly, her tongue snaking out and licking my tip. The familiarity I wanted, the one I was desperately trying to seek out, was back full force, and I decided to run with it.

I groaned loudly and began to rock my now straining erection into Tanya. I tore my lips away from hers, panting loudly, and began to kiss down her jaw, neck, and collarbone. The friction was amazing, but I found that I wanted something else…something more. I slid my hand down her arm, past the side of her breast, and to the hem of her top. Without hesitation, or permission, I slid my fingers underneath, feeling the smoothness of her stomach, and began to creep my fingers to her breasts.

"Edward," Tanya breathed.

I licked her neck and sucked the skin into my mouth. When my fingers found her bra covered breast, I groped her, fully filling my palm with her mound. She wiggled against me, causing more friction, which only made me grind harder and faster into her. I pulled down the cup of her bra and began to rub her hardened nipple in between my thumb and index finger.

"Edward," Tanya said softly, and I responded by pinching her nipple. She suddenly jerked away, trying to wriggle out from under me. I kept my weight down firmly on top of her so she couldn't move.

"What are you doing?" I asked roughly against her neck.

"Stop," she demanded, and tried to push me off her.

Something inside me seemed to snap, and I didn't want to get off her. If I did, that would be acknowledging that something was off. I couldn't let that happen. So, I sat up and straddled her legs, making sure to keep her in place. I began to undo my belt quickly, and whipped it out from around my waist.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes wide. I threw my belt on the ground and reached for her top, tugging on it to take it off her. She pushed my hands away and tried to sit up, but I quickly covered my body with hers. "What's wrong with you?"

I covered my mouth with hers harshly and bit her lower lip. Again, she tried to push me away, but I was too strong for her. I moved my hand between us and reached for the button of her jeans. I twisted it until it popped open, then began to pull her zipper down.

"Edward, no—"

"Shut up, Tanya," I growled against her mouth, and slipped my fingers slightly into her panties. But I instantly froze when I felt her chest start to move up and down at a hurried pace and heard her quietly crying. I removed my hand and brought my arm to rest next to her head. I pulled my face away from hers and looked at her. Tears were streaking down her face, her eyes swimming with fear and sadness.

"Tanya…" I whispered solemnly, the reality of what I was just about to do fully sinking in now.

Her expression hardened. "Just get off of me," she commanded forcefully.

I quickly scrambled off her and stood, grabbing my belt off the floor to put back on. She remained still on the bed, her jeans undone and her top revealing half of her stomach. As I pushed my belt through the loops, I began to berate myself. If she hadn't have started crying, I would've taken her. And it wouldn't have been soft and slow like we'd always imagined our first time would be. It would've been rough, controlling, and quick. She was right in asking what was wrong with me. This was not something I'd do. I wasn't this wild, impulsive, uncaring guy. I planned things, I stuck with what I knew, and with Tanya, I was always gentle. This wasn't me.

"Tanya…I—" I began to say before she cut me off.

"Shut up, Edward," she spat, throwing my words back at me. She quickly did up her zipper and moved her top back to rest over the waistband of her jeans. She wasn't crying anymore; in fact, she looked downright pissed.

"Please don't be angry with me," I pleaded, walking around the bed to where she was beginning to sit up. I sank to my knees and grabbed a hold of her hands, which she yanked away from me. "Tanya." I attempted to grab her hands again, but she reacted the same way and glared at me.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed.

I hung my head and closed my eyes. "I don't know what got into me. I just needed…"

"You needed what, huh?" she questioned angrily. "To rape me?"

I gasped, mortified, and looked up at her. "I wasn't going to do that!" I exclaimed.

"I told you _no_, and you didn't listen to me," she said.

"I know, I know," I agreed regretfully, but then remembered something. "A few weeks ago you wanted to…to do it." I knew it was lousy of me to bring up that she'd wanted to have sex, but I wanted to know why she didn't want to now.

She blanched and pushed against my chest. "I can't believe you," she barked, and stood up. "I wanted to when you weren't acting like some psychopath, trying to force me into it."

I frowned and stood slowly. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. "Please forgive me."

She sighed and looked down at the ground. "I want to go home," she admitted, her voice cracking a bit.

I grabbed her hand, holding onto it tight. "Please, no," I begged.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, tears spilling down. "Just let me go. I can't be here. I don't—" She cut herself off and opened her eyes. "Just let me go."

Not wanting to upset her further, I let go of her hand and hung my head in defeat. Without saying another word, Tanya left my room. I could hear her talking on her cell as her footsteps sounded on the staircase.

Ever since she'd left to go to Italy, things had changed. Nothing was the same anymore. I blamed myself. I was different. I'd allowed myself to succumb to certain desires. The desire of something new, something interesting, mysterious. But it had to stop now. I couldn't let this continue on. I had to squash my desires and forget the reason why I was like this now, so confused, out of control. The first thing I would do was try to transfer out of Cooking, because I didn't think I could go through with this while my desires stared me right in the face.

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**A/N:**

**Whew! That was a whole lot of Tanya. I should probably clear something up about her. I know a lot of you have preconceived ideas about her character because of how she's portrayed in the fandom, but my Tanya has much more depth than the jealous, slutty, Edward-hogging Tanya's out there. I'm really not a fan of those Tanya's, to be honest. So, don't be too hard on her until you get all the facts! Just always keep in mind the pairing at the top left of this chapter.  
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**Also, a quick note about the time line. This story, at present, is set in the future for the fall of 2010. When Edward mentions a movie by M. Night Shyamalan, it's not coming out until roughly the middle of September, which is a few months away. Just in case you were all like "Huh? Never heard of this movie."  
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**Yes, Bella will be back next chapter. **

**Thanks for reading and please review. If you have questions, I can try to answer them to the best of my ability.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **

**Thanks for all the responses last chapter. Yeah, yeah, I know you guys missed Bella. But Edward didn't want to see her. **

**There was a lot of questioning about whether Edward would've raped Tanya, so let me clear something up. He wouldn't have violated her. She was responding to him in the kiss, so Edward doing that wasn't against her will. She suddenly decided she didn't want him on her, and his reaction was a bit delayed and rough, but he got off her. He's not THAT out of control where he would rape someone. I promise. But he is out of control in many other ways.**

**Usual thanks to my beta Lindz26 and my pre-reader Renas40 for their work with this chapter. A very special thank you to BelleDean for recommending this story over at The Little-Known Ficster. If you want to read the review she wrote up, the link is on my profile. **

**There are links to polyvores on my profile if you want a visual for this chapter.**

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September turned into October and the days passed just as quickly as the one before. My father started staying at work more, stopping around in the evenings for brief moments, and then heading back. My mother was home alone a lot, and every time I saw her, I swore she had a frown on her face. Jasper continued to think that maybe Dad was having an affair, but I just couldn't believe that. Even with how he treated me, his relationship with my mother always seemed solid…well…that wasn't exactly true. Recently, they seemed to be arguing more, but that could mean anything insignificant, right?

As for Tanya, things hadn't gotten any better, to be honest. The day after the dinner, she was standoffish at school, talking to only Rose and Alice. I tried to speak to her a few times, but she went out of her way to avoid me. I decided after that day to leave her alone. I knew of an idiom that said, "_You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink_." Not that Tanya was a horse or anything, but I knew that by trying to force my company on her, that she wouldn't budge, so I did the opposite in hopes that she would want my attention. That really didn't work, either. So, day after day slipped by and she continued avoiding me, walking ahead to classes without me, talking the entire time to Rose at lunch, not even chancing a glance at me during school. I also noticed that she stopped wearing her cross necklace. It probably meant nothing, but I knew she liked it a lot.

At first, I was upset that she wouldn't even let me make things right, but after a while, I found that it started not to matter. If she wanted to act weird, that was her choice. I'd apologized and that should've been enough. The need to fix things started to wane and was replaced with the need to keep other emotions at bay, particularly involving someone that I hadn't been able to stop thinking about since that day in the bathroom. I wasn't even sure what it was about her I was thinking about. It just seemed to be her overall entity that haunted me. I didn't think about our…_time_ together after that, or at least, I tried not to. When it'd pop in my head, I'd quickly think about something else—calculus, what the chance of precipitation would be that day, Steven Spielberg movies, or anything else that would distract me.

I'd tried as hard as I could to get out of Cooking. I'd gone to my guidance counselor and asked to change my schedule to Philosophy instead. She replied that it was full and I'd have to wait, just like Principal Banner had said when I first changed classes. I got frustrated and said that they could just add another goddamn chair in there—problem solved. Hell, I'd sit on the dirty floor if that was what it took. But, of course, she didn't budge, so I was stuck in Cooking. I decided from then on that I'd just ignore Bella. So, when I'd go to class, I'd simply do the lesson, keeping my eyes either forward or on the meals I'd make. For the most part, she didn't bother me. Actually, I'd say she ignored me just as much as I ignored her. But there was one time I caught her staring at me while I made some beef casserole dish. I saw her through the corner of my eye as she watched me for a few minutes, and then she went back to cooking her own meal quietly. Those whole few minutes, I'd felt my entire body tingle and prickle with the sensation of being watched. My body begged to turn towards her, my eyes screamed to stare back, but my mind knew that it was a bad idea, so I kept up the effort of not paying attention to her.

Now that it was the second week of October, I had something else to worry about. Jasper's birthday. All damn week, Alice had been going on and on about what was going to happen and how we were supposed to act and dress at this bonfire party she was throwing for him. She even tried to dictate what each of us should get him. Her brilliant idea was that on top of getting him individual gifts—with her approval—that we should all get him a combined gift, as well. I told her a flat out "hell no," to which she whined and moaned about. All her gift ideas were awful. She wanted me to get him some volume boxed set containing reprints of Van Gough's letters and notes he'd written. Did Alice not know Jasper at all? He liked to draw giant machines and ugly looking monsters. How did _that_ translate to him appreciating sophisticated art work like Van Gough? I was pretty sure Jasper barely knew who that was. Besides, I'd ordered his gifts online already. I knew he'd like them, too. I'd gotten him three different videos games that he'd been wanting: _Killzone 2_, _Gear of War 2_, and _Halo 3_—all obnoxious, headache-inducing shooting games. Like his brain needed to be anymore damaged…

"Alright, so I got back most RSVP's for the bonfire tomorrow night from everyone except Ben Cheney, and we all know why _he's_ not going," Alice said accusatorily while we sat at lunch.

"No, why?" Emmett asked dumbly, looking at all of us for an answer. I rolled my eyes. Didn't he know it was best not to ask?

Alice got a shining glimmer in her eyes as if it was the greatest question she'd been asked. She took a deep breath to talk, before Rose raised a hand, most likely to prevent Alice's lengthy and excited explanation of the latest gossip.

"Angela Weber," Rose said simply. "That's why."

Around the last week of September, Angela came back to school. It turned out she'd had a mild concussion from hitting her head on the steering wheel and had passed out as a result of shock. Everyone kept up the suicidal rumors, of course, just for something to talk about. As soon as she stepped inside the school on her first day back, a flood of students bombarded her with questions about what happened, if she was on suicide watch, if she and Ben Cheney were dating. I was pretty sure she was about to have a panic attack, because she was starting to look as pale as when she'd crashed her car. But Ben came to her rescue and had hardly left her side since. Alice found out—God only knew how—that Ben had gone to visit her in the hospital periodically.

"I saw her and Ben kissing at her locker before lunch," Tanya said quietly, staring down at the table. We all looked at her in silence. This was the first time in over week she'd joined in on a conversation we were having. Her eyes slowly rose up and found mine, and I quickly dropped mine to my lap.

"So, they're dating now?" Emmett asked.

"Totally," Alice sang with a smile. "Isn't it obvious?" She suddenly turned to Jasper, who was seated next to her. "Can you get me a Diet Coke?"

He kissed the side of her head as he began to stand. "Sure, I'll be back," he agreed, and walked over to the vending machines in the corner of the cafeteria.

She leaned slightly over the table towards us. "That was just to get rid of him for a few minutes," she whispered.

Rose rolled her eyes. "You're very clever," she said sarcastically.

"Oh, shush. It worked, didn't it?" Alice asked. "Anyway, so tomorrow, I'm thinking before we go to the bonfire we'll go out to dinner at this really nice, classy restaurant in Port Angeles. We can all give our gifts to him there, and then head over to the bonfire. Rose, you can give your gift first, then Emmett can go, then Tanya, then Edward, then, of course, me—" She was interrupted by our collective groan. She frowned. "What?"

"No offense, Alice, but can't we just hang out and give our gifts to him whenever?" Emmett asked. "He's turning eighteen. It should be a chill birthday, not planned."

"What?" Alice asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, but I have to agree," Rose chimed in.

Tanya cleared her throat softly. "Me, too."

Alice scoffed and then looked at me. "And you, Edward?" she asked angrily.

I shrugged. "I mean, I know Jasper. He'll just want to have fun and relax."

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine. I'll do what you guys want…even though I planned the bonfire and gave you all the gift ideas." She looked away across the cafeteria. "No big deal," she said, feigning acceptance. She suddenly glanced back at Tanya and Rose with a determined look. "But I get to choose your outfits tomorrow."

"No," Rose said firmly. "Nuh-uh. I'm wearing what I want."

Alice's arms wrapped tighter around her chest. "God! You never let me dress you! Sometimes I wonder if you're even a girl."

Rose glared at Alice. "I'm choosing to ignore that," Rose said dryly.

Jasper came back with a Diet Coke in hand and placed it on the table in front of Alice, but she made no move to take it as she kept her arms crossed with a scowl on her face.

"Are you gonna drink it?" Jasper asked. "I went and got it for you."

Emmett snatched it quickly. "Hell, I'll drink it," he said, and unscrewed the bottle cap. He took long, loud swallows while Jasper glared at him.

"Hey, give me some," Rose ordered to Emmett.

Emmett brought the bottle down from his lips and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Meet me behind the gym and I'll give you some," he teased with a wink.

"You're so disgusting…" she commented.

After lunch, the rest of the day flew by in the same fashion as the last week and a half. I gave Emmett his last ride home, since his car had now been fixed. Personally, I was happy about this. I'd finally get to stop hearing him recount the crash every morning to school and after on the way home. Each time he'd retell the story, it seemed to get more dramatic, and his car seemed to get more damaged. Like the good friend I was, I wouldn't say a word, even though he was acting pretty pathetic. But now that was over and he could go be annoying in his own car. I found that I liked the privacy of being in my Volvo. I could listen to the radio or think in the silence of the closed space. It was a good way to gather my thoughts before going to school.

The next day, my mother made a big birthday breakfast for Jasper before school with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. My dad actually stayed around for that, though I wasn't surprised. It was _Jasper_, after all. My parents also got him a joined gift—an acoustic guitar. I had raised an eyebrow when they revealed it to him. Why would they get _that_ for him? Jasper didn't even play, not even a little bit. He told them it was "totally awesome" and then ran to his room to mess around with it. He tried to play it for all of two seconds and then tossed it on his bed, forgetting it even existed.

At school, he was the center of attention. Everyone wished him a happy birthday. I half wondered how they all knew, but it was no doubt Alice's doing. People actually gave him gifts in school, and by the time we were walking to the parking lot to go home, all of us had to help him carry his presents to his car. He was very casual about the whole thing, not really looking that grateful. He'd always been like that, very detached and unconcerned. That was why a lot of people liked him, I supposed. He was easy to get along with because he was laid back and impassive. However, those were some of the qualities about him that always bugged the hell out of me. I could never be like that.

The evening drew closer, and I changed my shirt to a long sleeved gray one that was woolen. This was probably the warmest shirt I had. We were going to be at the beach and there was no doubt that it'd be cold. I threw on a dark blue fleece sweater, as well, for safe measure. I left my room and jogged down the steps, my car keys jingling in my pocket.

"Jasper, let's go," I called loudly, and rounded the corner into the living room. My father and mother were sitting on the sofa as if they were waiting for us. "We're gonna head out now."

"Have fun, dear," my mom said with a smile. "Please make sure you stay by the fire as much as you can. And don't hesitate to call should anything happen."

I nodded. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

My dad stood, eyeing me, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, just because you get a temporary reprieve from your punishment tonight, doesn't mean you should take advantage," he started. "I expect you to be back here by midnight."

I wanted to groan in frustration. I wasn't sure how long we planned on being out tonight, but it was Friday and I really didn't want to be bound by a curfew…I never had before.

"If you can abide by that, then we'll discuss lifting your punishment tomorrow," he added.

I was surprised, but thankful that there was finally an end in sight to this stupid grounding that I didn't even deserve. I definitely wasn't going to screw things up tonight.

"All set," Jasper said as he came down the stairs. He was dressed in a red fleece sweater, blue jeans, and Timberland shoes. Very unlike Jasper, but I'd heard Alice, at school, telling him to wear it.

"You look like a lumberjack," I remarked with a smirk.

"You look like a combination of things that I probably shouldn't say in front of my aunt and uncle," he joked.

My father let out a loud laugh, which made me jump. "Have fun, Jasper," he said. "Happy birthday." He turned and walked into the kitchen without so much as looking at me.

"Are you going to be warm enough, Edward?" my mom asked.

I sighed. "Yes, Mom, I'll be fine."

"We should go," Jasper chimed in.

"Right," I agreed, and followed Jasper to the door. "See ya, Mom."

"Stay safe," she urged as we walked out the front door.

After a nearly forty minute car ride, we arrived at First Beach, tons of cars already parked along the road next to the wooded area. The beach was just on the other side of it. We got out of my Volvo and made our way through the forest. There was a narrow path that led from the highway and through the woods to the beach. When we grew closer to the other side, the sounds of booming music and talking invaded my ears, and the feel of the cool ocean breeze washed over my face. We made it to the other side and saw a large, controlled fire raging, surrounded by a collection of rocks. Around that were four large logs substituted as seats. A foldable table was set up nearby with tons of food that probably wouldn't even be half gone by the end of the night. Alice was definitely an over doer.

A lot of the people that were here were mostly from the swim team, football team, and cheer squad. Most I knew, but rarely spoke to. We caught sight of Alice by the food table and Jasper immediately called her over to us. She turned around and smiled, running over to Jasper. She was wearing a super short beige dress, one sleeve missing while the sleeve that she actually had only went down to her elbow. Seeing her almost put me in pain. It was ridiculously freezing out tonight. And to top it all off, she wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Alice, where are your shoes?" Jasper asked, almost reading my mind.

"They're over there," she said, pointing to the table where a pair of two very high beige stilettos sat. "Happy birthday, by the way. Do you like the party?"

"Thank you, and yeah, it looks awesome," Jasper said, and kissed Alice on the cheek.

"Where's Em and the girls?" I questioned.

"Rose had to pick up Tanya and they're bringing over the cake, too. Em is probably just late," she said, rolling her eyes. She looked over my shoulder. "Ah, there they are."

I turned and saw Rose and Tanya walking from the forest towards us, holding a somewhat large cake. Tanya's eyes immediately found mine and the corners of her mouth twitched up into a very faint smile. She was dressed in jeans and a ruffled light pink top with thin straps—no jacket. I didn't know how women could stand to be cold for the sake of fashion. Rose was actually dressed much more suited for the cold with jeans and a lacey top with sleeves that came down to her elbows.

"A little help here," Rose demanded, the side of the cake she was holding wobbling a bit. Jasper and I quickly went over and grabbed it from the girls, walking it over to the table with ease. "God, who invited Newton?" We all looked and saw Michael Newton by the fire, making out heavily with Jessica Stanley on a log.

"I didn't," Alice said. "I invited Jess, but I guess she decided to have Mike tag along, too."

"Can't he keep his infested tongue out of her mouth until after we eat cake?" Rose asked, and huffed. "I'm gonna go wait for Emmett." She walked off towards the woods.

I turned and saw Tanya walking towards the ocean. She stopped, just standing there. I went up to her and watched the ocean, as well.

"You're not cold?" I asked her.

She had her arms crossed over her chest, looking a little uncomfortable. She looked down at herself. "Alice told me I had to wear the top and I didn't feel like arguing," she admitted. "We compromised and I got to wear the jeans and boots but had to wear this top."

I chuckled. "You should've just worn what you want."

"She's extremely manipulative when she wants to be. I didn't want to say no. She was already bummed we didn't want to go with her gift giving plan."

"Well, that was nice of you."

"Yeah…" she trailed off, staring into the dark ocean. She turned back around to face the party. "Well, I'm gonna go see if she needs any help." Without a word, she walked off towards Alice, who was making the rounds, bouncing person to person. I remained in place, watching the waves crash onto the beach one by one.

Emmett arrived shortly after, and then things really seemed to get started. Everyone loved Emmett. He was just a great, fun guy to have around and knew how to have a good time. Jasper and him banded together and tried to get Alice to change the music from some pop crap to rock music. When she wouldn't relent, they waited until she was distracted and changed it. She threw a fit, but forgot about it when Jessica came running up to her to talk about Angela and Ben. I spent most of my time by the food table. Normally, I was much more social, but I just didn't feel like talking to anyone tonight. The only time I moved from the table was when Tyler Crowley said he was going to jump through the fire if Lauren would go out with him. When he got scared and backed out, I went back to the table. I looked at my watch and it was nearing ten o'clock. We'd already been here for a couple of hours now and everyone was starting to get progressively louder. Good thing there was no alcohol available, either, otherwise everyone would be vomiting by now, most likely.

I sighed and turned away from the party to take some food from the table. I wasn't hungry, but I wanted to occupy myself with something. I felt someone come up next to me, and I stopped immediately. I looked to my side and saw Tanya.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," I said back.

"Fun party, huh?" she questioned, but not enthusiastically at all.

"Yeah…fun."

She was quiet for a moment, and then cleared her throat. "I was really hoping Tyler Crowley would jump through the fire."

I snorted softly. "Me, too."

"Emmett's trying to get Mike to do it."

I smiled and laughed a little. "I'd pay to see that."

We were quiet, again, for a few minutes, watching everyone as they had fun, paying no mind to us off to the side. Tanya turned to me, looking as if she was struggling to say something. She opened her mouth a few times, and then shut it. I was beginning to get worried.

"What is it?" I asked her, concerned.

"I…" she started, and blinked a few times. Her expression turned solemn and she looked as if she was going to cry. "Eddie…I—"

A loud howl interrupted her from finishing, and everyone turned toward the noise. It sounded like a wolf. The talking completely stopped, and only the obnoxious rock music filled the beach air. Everyone was looking around, as if trying to locate where that sound came from.

"What was that?" Tanya asked.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

In the trees of the forest, I could make out dark figures moving around. There were, at least, six of them. I couldn't see exactly what they were, but could distinguish that they weren't animals. As if on cue, six people stepped out of the woods. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw us. Even with the distance, I immediately knew who they were. The La Push guys. Their expressions were full of fury as they took in the scene before them, as if expecting us not to be here. They turned to each other, talking in secret. It was then that I noticed who else was with them.

Bella.

She was looking at all of us curiously, appearing as if she was taking in one person at a time. When her dark eyes finally found mine, my body stilled, my heart sped up, and a cold chill ran through me. As much as I tried, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her piercing stare. I wasn't sure how much time passed that we gazed at each other, but the connection broke when something large suddenly stepped in front of her. My glazed over eyes adjusted to see Black's murderous black eyes staring daggers into my own that were beginning to narrow in hate. The La Push guys started to walk over to us with hard expressions on their faces. I noticed they were coming towards me. A few of them were holding packs of beer, drinking them as they made the trek over.

"Well, Cullen," Black spat at me. "Decided to have a little preppy party on our turf?"

My fists clenched at my sides. Not at what he said, but just at the fact that he was even speaking to me. "Last I checked, you didn't own this beach."

I noticed Bella standing behind Black, watching me emotionlessly, her arms crossed over her chest. I took in her appearance. She was wearing a black tank top with thin straps, as well as…as…the same damn short leather skirt she wore that day…The day she gave me a—Spielberg movie. _Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. _Did they have to finish it with the aliens? I mean, really…

Okay, that worked…somewhat. Her legs were still distracting me, though. And those boots…_God_…those boots…

"Cullen, I'm fucking talking to you," Black barked, slinging his arm around Bella's shoulder. "Or are you too chicken shit to answer me?" He smiled smugly and turned to the guy next to him. "Paul, what do you think about helping me teach Cullen here to respect our territory and take these cock sucking rich bitches somewhere else?"

Paul laughed wickedly and cracked his knuckles. "Hell fucking yeah. I've always wanted to pound his snotty nosed face in."

I felt my entire body shaking and my face scorch in fiery rage as the blood rushed to it. My knuckles turned white as I clenched it brutally at my sides. "If you don't leave, I swear to God I'll—"

"You'll what?" Black goaded smugly. "Get your dad to pay us off?" He suddenly glanced at Tanya, who was standing frozen next to me.

Paul detached a beer can from its plastic binding. "Catch, Cullen," he shouted, making to throw the beer at me. It almost seemed like he was going to throw it, and I flinched, screwing my eyes shut just in case it hit me. There was a roar of howls, and I opened my eyes to see the guys bent over in obnoxious laughter. "Psyche! You're probably too pussy to have a beer."

"Leave him the hell alone," Tanya yelled angrily.

"Oooh," they all drawled out mockingly with smirks.

"You got a hot ass bitch there, Cullen," Paul remarked, leering at Tanya provocatively. "And she's got a bit of a mouth on her, too. I can think of a few other things she could do with that pretty little mouth—" He was suddenly cut off by Black smacking him in the chest with the back of his hand. Paul looked at him with innocent incredulity. "What?"

I noticed Bella pull out of Black's hold and, without a word, she walked towards the fire, sitting down on a log. Black looked over his shoulder briefly at Bella, and then turned back to us.

"Don't mind if we make ourselves comfortable," he said, a smirk on his face as his eyes raged at me with pure hatred. Black leered at Tanya for a few seconds and then walked away with the other guys in tow.

After they were gone, I turned to Tanya. "You okay?" I asked her.

She crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed her biceps up and down. "Yeah," she said, looking frazzled. "Those guys are jerks."

"What in the world is going on?" I heard Alice question nearby. She practically sprinted over to us with Jasper, Rose, and Emmett in tow. "Why are the La Push guys here?"

"Looks like they crashed our party," Jasper noted, watching as the La Push guys scared off everyone who was by the fire.

"No!" Alice exclaimed, looking exasperated. "They need to go!"

"I don't think there's anything we can do, Alice," Tanya said. "They said we were on their turf."

"It's not like we're not allowed to come here," Rose said. "This is a free beach."

"If they start anything, I'm gonna cream them," Emmett said.

"You're not going to do anything," I said, my rational side beginning to break through. "Just leave them alone. Maybe they'll go."

"Like hell they will!" Alice shouted, flailing her arms. "Do they enjoy destroying my hard work?" She looked like she was about to cry. Jasper wrapped his arms around her to calm her down.

"No, Edward's right," Tanya agreed. "They'll probably go if we don't converse with them at all."

Alice sniffled. "Fine." She turned and walked away with Jasper.

Emmett leaned in toward me. "Maybe now I can get Mike to jump through the fire," Emmett whispered. "Look." He pointed past the roaring flames to Mike, whose eyes were practically attached to Bella like she was a goddamn glass of milk. Thank God Bella was completely oblivious to his disgusting salivating. "He'd totally jump through the fire if he knew Bella would enjoy it. I'm gonna go ask him" He walked off, taking Rose with him.

I quickly looked back at Bella, a mixture of emotions running through me. The fact that she was here tonight was something I never anticipated. I'd been trying so hard to ignore her very presence for weeks now, but now that she was here, I couldn't stop looking at her to save my life. I was so completely torn. I wanted her to desperately leave and take her pack of assholes with her, but I wanted her to stay, too. And I had absolutely no idea why.

Black was like two goddamn inches away from her as she sat on the log by the fire. God! Couldn't he give her some damn room? He spoke to her and she nodded to whatever he said. He suddenly took off his black hoodie sweater and handed it to her. She said something to him and then pushed her arms through the sweater, throwing it over her head and down her torso. It pissed me off. As if sensing my staring, her eyes flashed to mine. I quickly turned and faced Tanya, who was practically shivering.

"Are you cold?" I asked her stupidly, already knowing the answer. Goose bumps were starting to form on her arms, of course she was cold. She nodded, and I immediately took off my fleece sweater to give to her.

"Thank you," she said, and then sighed in relief. Her eyes closed for a few seconds and then opened to look at me. "I think I'm gonna go home."

I furrowed my brow. "Why?"

"I don't know," she said oddly. "I don't feel well all of a sudden." She looked down at the table of food. "I had too much cake."

Oh, right. She always got sick when she had too much frosting. "Yeah, okay," I said. "Do you want me to take you home?" I asked. I looked at my watch and saw it was nearing eleven o'clock. I could just go home now. It wasn't like I actually had fun tonight.

"No," she said. "Rose will take me, I'm sure."

I looked down at the sand and shifted grains around with my foot. "Alright."

"Thanks for the sweater. I'll give it back to you on Monday," she said softly. She took a few steps towards me and wrapped her arms gingerly around my waist, resting her head against my chest. Taken aback, I kept my arms at my side. She pulled back after a few seconds, and then walked away.

I scratched the back of my neck, and then turned towards the woods, staring into the trees. I suddenly felt like I needed to get away from here. The loud music was becoming annoying and all the people were causing me to feel claustrophobic. I walked past the fire, feeling eyes boring into my back, but kept my head looking straight ahead. I led myself right into the woods, listening to sounds of twigs crackling as I stepped on them. It was much quieter here, the music muffled and the talking faint. I leaned against a tree, letting my head fall back. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. My lungs filled with the musky aroma of the woods, a stark difference from the air at the beach, which was salty. I allowed my mind to rest in unthinking thoughts, focusing solely on the sounds of my beating heart and the whisper of the quiet wind rustling the leaves of the trees surrounding me. A few twigs snapped nearby and I opened my eyes. More twigs snapped, drawing closer to me, and my eyes darted around, looking to see who or what was there. Remaining in my spot, I pressed my back against the rough bark of the tree, trying not to make a sound. The twigs snapping grew louder and louder and whatever was here in the woods was almost near me now.

"Hey," I suddenly heard someone whisper nearby. I turned my head to the left and right, but couldn't see anyone around…just trees.

"Jake…hey," a familiar feminine voice greeted, sounding a bit confused.

Black? What the hell was he doing here? Was he following me? That was probably it. He wanted to get another punch at me. I should've revealed myself. I wanted nothing more than to kick the crap out of him. But who was with him?

"What are you doing walking in the woods?" Black questioned.

"Don't worry; I can handle myself," the light voice assured, almost defiantly.

"Oh, I _know_ you can handle yourself," Black said suggestively. Stupid idiot. I heard the woman snort softly in reply. "Did you see Newton running home like the little bitch he is?"

She laughed, but it died. "Yeah."

"He tried to fucking jump through the _fire_. What a stupid fucking loser." There was silence, and I thought I was alone again for a brief moment. "You okay?"

"I don't know," she said, sounding tired, scared. I found that I stopped breathing, trying to listen carefully to her voice. It was soft and breathy, but there seemed to be a world of sadness laced in it.

"Is it _him_? Did he do something to you?" Black questioned.

"No…well…I don't know."

"Want me to handle him again?"

"Maybe…yeah…"

"Alright," he said quietly. "You know I'd do anything for you."

There was more silence, and then twigs splitting and crunching beneath the sounds of heavy footsteps. I figured they both left, but then I heard a quiet, "I know," before sticks snapped again, and I knew I was alone.

After a while, I picked up walking through the woods again. Looking around, I had no idea where I was. I hadn't kept track of my path, but the music was extremely quiet now, so I knew wherever I was, I was far away. I made a left, walking around some trees to see if there was a way out. I heard some footsteps behind me, and my heart beat accelerated as I began to walk a little faster, trying to get out of the forest. After dodging a few low branches and winding through the thick trees, I found myself coming out onto the beach again, but nowhere near where the party was. There were a bunch of large beach rocks around. I looked over the rocks and saw the bonfire all the way down the beach, still roaring. Knowing I was at least nearby, I leaned against a beach rock, looking out on the water. I much preferred the smell of the ocean to that of the forest. The idea of living somewhere near a beach was much more appealing than _Forks_. I couldn't wait to get out of this town. Maybe one day I could go to California. They had lots of beaches there…no…I'd be at Yale next year, all the way on the other side of the country. They didn't have really good beaches there, either…

I was taken out of my thoughts by the crunching of sand behind me. I reacted, quickly turning around with the knowledge that someone had followed me. But I froze instantly when I found myself coming face to face…with Bella Swan.

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**A/N: **

**Sorry for ending it there. The next chapter picks up where this left off. Promise. I debated whether to include what happens after this, but it got too long for my comfort, so I had to cut it somewhere. **

**I've got most of the next chapter written, so if you review, I'll send you a teaser. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:**

** It's been a while, and I'm so sorry for that. My other story Hate Me, which is my priority, has needed my attention as it wraps up. Plus, I was having problems with this chapter. Writer's block = fail. **

**Beta is Lindz26, pre-reader is Renas40. A huge thanks to Belindella for helping me so much with this chapter. She always makes my work better with her support and advice.

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**

**WARNING: Adult situations ahead.  


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I watched Bella intently as she stepped closer to me, her brown eyes trained on nothing else but my curious ones. Her expression was dark, full of determination. I almost took a step back from the sheer intensity of it, but instead, I found myself taking a step forward…towards her. She looked up at me, the moon illuminating her pale skin, making it shine. I was torn again, much like before. Did I want her here, did I not? Her mere presence was almost catatonic, making me forget everything I'd been training myself to think these last few weeks. How could she have this affect on me? Why her? Why now?

"Bella," I began, my tone expressing the internal war I was waging, "I don't think—"

She pressed her index finger up to my lips, silencing me. Her finger was cold, causing my mouth to tingle. "Don't talk, Edward," she breathed, caressing my name with her soft voice. "Just..._do_…"

Bella, saying my name, was what completely emptied out every single doubting thought in my brain. I'd wanted her to say it for a while, and the reality of it had a much different effect than I had ever imagined. Before, I'd wanted to hear her call me by my name just so she would stop referring to me as Richie, but now…I wanted…craved… her to say it the way she just had, like it was a prayer, like it was special, like it was the only name she'd ever say like that.

I knew now. I wanted her to stay.

She fisted my shirt and led me until we were behind a large beach rock, out of sight from the bonfire. I felt the cold, smooth surface of the rock on my back as she pushed me up against it, never taking her eyes off mine. She began to feel me everywhere, sliding her hands over my stomach, chest, shoulders, her eyes following the movement of her small hands that were setting my entire body ablaze. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the hard rock, basking in her touch. Her hands ceased its movement at my chest, causing me to open my eyes. She smiled sweetly at me. My heart stopped. Ever so slowly, she raked her fingers down the front of my body until they paused at the waistband of my jeans.

I knew exactly what she was going to do. However, there was one difference from the last time I was in this position. The difference was that I knew now, completely, what I was getting myself into. I was aware of the consequences. I was aware what could happen by doing this. I just didn't care. I wanted this. I wanted her. God, how I wanted her.

Bella popped open the button on my jeans and pulled down the zipper. She surprised me, however, when she abruptly took a step back. I thought she might've changed her mind, but she merely smirked mischievously at me and crooked a finger. I raised an eyebrow and stalked towards her slowly, savoring the vision of her before me, hoping beyond hope this wasn't a dream, that I wouldn't wake up in a cold sweat with a raging hard-on. She pulled her thick, black sweater up her body and off in one swift motion, dropping it to the sand next to us. I drank in her bare, pale arms, her neck, collarbone, the swell of her breasts peeking out beneath her black tank top.

Bringing her hands up to my shoulders, she pressed down, and I allowed her to sink my body to the sand so that I was sitting. I grabbed her waist on the way down and she moved to stand on both sides of my thighs, my head an inch away from her stomach. I wanted to reach up and lift the hem of her shirt to reveal the smooth expanse of her belly, but she pushed me back to lie on the sand. I rested my head against the cold grains beneath me, not caring that they were getting in my hair, and let my arms fall to my sides, waiting to see what she was going to do next. She stood above me, looking down at me. I could see slightly up her skirt, which instantly caused a painful tightening in my pants.

She was wearing light blue panties. Shit.

I wanted to reach up and peel them down from her body, scraping my fingers along her thighs as I did so, but my hands seemed to be immobilized. I couldn't move anything except my eyes as she slowly fell to her knees, straddling my hips.

Her heat was right over my erection. The only things that separated us were our clothes. My jeans; her skirt. My boxer briefs; her blue fucking panties. I couldn't see them anymore, but I knew they were there, and that was pure torture. I wanted to see them again. I brought my hands—that had been digging into the sand—up to her bare thighs. Trailing my fingers up them, I felt the smooth, soft skin. Her chest rose and fell unevenly, and she shut her eyes, her lips parting. A thrill shot through me, knowing that I caused a reaction out of her from my own touch. Was she affected by me as much as I was of her?

My fingers skimmed the hem of her skirt, marginally teasing underneath. I hooked my thumbs under and dragged the fabric up her thighs. Lifting herself up slightly, she allowed the skirt to bunch. I slithered my hands around to the swell of her ass to further move the skirt up her body. Her blue panties were revealed as I bunched her skirt around her waist. I ran my fingers over the cotton, breathing in the sensation of feeling her heat beneath my fingertips, even if it was shrouded by fabric. She settled back on me and shifted her hips slightly, which automatically caused me to wrap my hands tightly around her waist to still her. The sensation was too much.

"Wait, wait," I choked, trying to convey that she needed to stop moving or I was going to explode right this second.

With a glint in her eyes, she lifted herself up slightly and hooked her fingers into the waistband of my jeans and boxers. I held my breath in anticipation. She pulled both down and I lifted my hips to accommodate. Peeling them down my legs, she moved her body down with them, until they were at my knees. My erection, completely exposed to the frigid air, twitched against my stomach, and she leered at it, looking like she wanted to devour me whole. Was she going to do…_that_ again to me? Maybe she'd let me touch her this time, too. God, I wanted to see under those blue panties so badly. However, she completely shocked me when she crawled back up my body and sat down on my hardened length.

"Fuck," I swore in a strangled growl, screwing my eyes shut. The sensation of my bare erection rubbing up against the hot fabric of her panties was…holy shit…better than anything I'd ever felt.

She grazed her fingers up my chest, neck, and into my hair that I hadn't bothered to style tonight. Tugging firmly on the roots, she ignited a pleasurable shiver within me. She bent down, her lips hovering by my ear.

"I fucking love it when your hair is like this," she admitted harshly, her breath blowing into my ear, sending a thrill throughout my body. She let go of her tight grip on my hair and sat up, her ass pushing against me, which caused me to choke out a sudden breath. She reached down to her panties suddenly, and I wondered what she was doing, my vision focusing on her hands. As she shifted her underwear to the side, my eyes went wide at the sight of her slick center being revealed to me.

She had no hair there. Nothing. Holy…God…My mind immediately registered what she had in mind, and then I began to panic.

"Bella," I spoke nervously. I'd never done anything like this. I didn't know what I was doing at all. "Wait…I don't…Are you—?"

"Edward," she silenced with a knowing smirk. And for some reason, I completely relaxed. "_Just do_." She looked at me, waiting for some sort of reaction or signal.

I stared up at her, the breeze blowing around us, the distant sound of music blending in with the roar of the ocean, this girl—this woman—the only thing on my mind, the only thing I could see. The moon was right above her head in the dark sky, a million stars surrounding her. It was almost like she was a part of the sky…of my sky. But her eyes sparkled with more intensity than the stars, her skin shone with more vibrancy than the moon. Her expression grew soft as I continued my gaze upon her, hints of sadness beginning to prickle its way through. I breathed in and out, my heart crashing against the inside of my chest.

"I don't have protection," I admitted remorsefully, that fact alone causing a damper on my mood. But hers seemed to soar with the same playfulness from before.

She wrapped her delicate fingers around my member and positioned me at her slippery entrance, making me freeze in anticipation. "Pill," she said simply, and began to slowly sink down onto me.

Taken by surprise, I dug my fingers into her thighs. This feeling, that I'd never felt before, was…_God_…She was tight, wet, soft, so many damn things at once. I felt bathed in warmth, away from the cold night. It was almost sensory overload. As she continued pushing me further into her, it felt like she was completely molding herself to me, like a key slipping into a lock. I clamped my eyes shut, pleasure rocketing through me, and tried to keep the inevitable at bay—me coming early, because I knew I wasn't going to goddamn last long with this blissful feeling coursing through me. Shit.

"Ahhh," I groaned, when I was fully inside of her. She stilled above me, and I opened my eyes to see her own closed. She was breathing heavily and her lips were parted slightly. I lifted my head and looked down at where we were joined. The sight alone was something I wanted to imprint into my mind forever. I let my head fall back against the sand and closed my eyes, trying to think of random things to keep my thoughts off what was happening right now so that I didn't lose it all before it even started.

After a few moments, which I was grateful for, she placed her hands on my chest and slowly began to move, her fingers digging into the plate of my chest. I held on tight to her waist and let her do the work. Her hips picked up a steady rhythm, rocking back and forth against me, making me slip in and out of her repeatedly. Our eyes suddenly locked and I knew, in that moment, I had to have this girl, not just once, but over and over again. I didn't know why, and I couldn't explain it, but it was more clear and certain to me than anything I'd ever known in my entire life, and that was saying something.

She looked away briefly before her eyes found mine again. Her pace picked up and the tightening in my stomach began to happen. I was trying to hold out so much, because I wanted this to last. If I had my way, this would never end, but I didn't think I had a choice here, especially with the way she looked, slowly bouncing up and down over me, working me into a spin of raw ecstasy.

A soft moan that I could barely even hear emitted from her throat. I wanted to tell her to moan louder, that I wanted to hear her, but I couldn't seem to form the words. Before I knew what was even happening, and before I could even stop it, a wave of pleasure rocketed through me, my body going rigid.

"Fuuuuck," I growled, and threw my head back. My chest stilled from not breathing, my teeth gritted together, my eyes clenched shut, and my fingers dug into soft skin. I spilled into her with violent abandon, a loud guttural groan erupting from deep within my chest.

After several moments, the incredible feeling began to die and my body went completely limp; however, my breathing only increased as I finally took an awaited breath.

As I was calming down, I felt Bella slip off me and slither down my body. My jeans and briefs began to tug up and, with as much energy as I could muster, I lifted my hips off the sand. She did up my jeans and zipper, and I should've thanked her, but I was completely spent. I couldn't feel her on me anymore and I quickly opened my eyes, afraid that she left, but she was sitting up next to me, her knees drawn up to her chest as she stared out into the ocean. I smiled contentedly and reached for her, grabbing her around the waist and bringing her to lie down next to me. She let me move her and sighed when she rested the side of her face on my chest. The familiar scent of cherry blossoms and cigarette smoke wafted through my senses, heightened by the slight breeze blowing around us. I fiddled with the metallic spider ring on her index finger as she played with my shirt.

We remained quiet for several minutes, neither of us needing to speak a word. The aftermath of what had just happened was beginning to spill over now, and I found that I wasn't scared or frightened in the least. I was happy…euphoric, even.

Bella angled her head to look up at the sky, and her eyes began to dart around. I wondered what was going through her mind right now. If there was anything I could wish for at this moment, it would be to listen in on her thoughts. I wanted to know how she felt about what we just did, what happened next, where we went from here. I needed her to tell me what to do because I had no clue. It was so hard to wrap my mind around this new feeling of wanting someone so much that it completely consumed you. I'd never experienced it before.

"See that sort of V formation up there?" she questioned, pointing her index finger above our heads and tracing her finger into a V. Without a word, I looked up to where she was drawing against the sky. I could sort of make it out, but I'd never been good at spotting that stuff. "That's the Pisces constellation. At the ends of the V are two circles that represent the fish, attached by a string that binds them together. The fish represents Aphrodite and her son, Eros. In order to run away from the monster, Typhon, they turned into fish and jumped into the stream. They tied a string to their tails so that they could stay together."

I turned my head to look at her, taking in her side profile illuminated by the moonlight. She was staring up intently, a crease forming in her forehead. How did she know all this? Even I didn't. It instantly reminded me of when I once asked her the time and she merely looked up and could tell instantly. Shit…she was pretty smart. I didn't know why I didn't see that before, even though I should've known, but I just figured that since she skipped school all the time that she wasn't as educated as most. But she was definitely proving me wrong right now. What was I thinking? Of course she was smart. She was amazing in Cooking. That alone was smart.

"What else?" I asked her, wanting to hear more.

Her eyes lit up briefly as they stared at me before she looked back up at the sky and went into an explanation about the fact that when you look up at the stars, you're looking into the past. The light emitted from a simple star may reach earth almost one hundred years later, even though, a lot of the time, they've already blown up. The whole time, I played with her fingers, lacing them with my own. She shuddered a few times, and I wondered if she was cold. After she was done talking, I glanced at her.

"You know a lot about that stuff," I analyzed.

She nodded against my chest. "I read about it," she admitted almost sadly, and I wondered what was so upsetting about that.

Whatever she was thinking, I didn't want her to be sad about it. To distract her, I tilted her chin up to look at me. Her deep brown pools locked with mine, a flame of emotion burning behind them. I reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek along the way. Her full lips parted and I instantly looked at them. I'd never wanted to kiss anyone more in my life than right now. She was beautiful. Breathtaking.

Without knowing it, both of our faces were growing closer, our noses beginning to lightly touch. She closed her eyes, and I could feel her hot breath on my mouth as her lips hovered over mine. Our lips were so close to touching, not even a centimeter away. If I swiftly moved forward, I could capture her mouth quicker, but I wanted to savor the moment, take my time. Her lips barely touched mine before someone yelling out her name froze us both.

"Bella!" a deep voice called behind the beach rocks.

"Fuck," Bella swore softly, and quickly scrambled off me. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She grabbed her sweater off the sand and began to tug it on quickly.

"Where are you going?" I asked, panicking that she was leaving. She couldn't go; we were just about to…

"Bella!" the voice yelled again. "Where the fuck is she, goddamnit?"

"I don't fucking know," another voice replied as Bella hid behind the beach rock. She shut her eyes tight. "Jake found her wandering around in the woods alone and then the idiot left her there."

I sat up a bit, ignoring the voices. "What are you doing?" I asked her, baffled, but she didn't answer or even move.

"Holy fuck!" a third voice exclaimed. "Do you think a wolf ate her?"

"You're such a fucking goon. A wolf can't goddamn eat a person," the second voice said.

"What the fuck do you know, you ass licker? A wolf ate a girl when she went to her fucking _grandmas_," the third voice said.

"That's a fairy tale, you 'tard!" the second voice yelled.

"You are!"

"Enough!" the first voice growled. "You two are the fucking gayest bunch of shit heads I've ever seen. Get fucking moving. We need to find Bella before he comes back…" The voice faded away until it completely vanished.

Bella's eyes slowly opened and instantly locked with mine. I could see so much fear and uncertainty swirling around in her dark pools. But just as quickly, her expression hardened into her usual cold, indifferent exterior. Her feet began to move closer to me and my pulse quickened just as much as before, when she'd been on top of me, taking control of my body…

She stopped in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest, most likely shielding herself from the cold. I had no idea what to say to her as I stood. It felt like everything had changed from that moment just a bit ago, like reality was crashing down on us. But even then, looking at her now, I couldn't even deny that I still wanted her. That didn't change. I didn't think that would. What we'd done before…it couldn't be reversed, and part of me didn't want it to, but another part wanted to go back to barely knowing she existed.

"You're not going to say a word," she threatened.

What the hell did she mean? She didn't want me to tell anyone what we'd done? It wasn't like I planned to, anyway, but it was sort of a slap in the face, nonetheless.

I frowned as I stared down at her, looking for the girl who'd I'd just shared myself with moments before, the girl who'd given me the best pleasure and then offered me a small glimpse into her mind. "Is that what you want?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice steady, emotionless.

She laughed darkly. "It's what we both want," she answered, and then walked away from me without turning back. She disappeared behind the beach rocks, as if she'd never even been here.

I stared at the spot she'd been standing just a second ago, the frigid air of midnight wafting over me. My feet began to move of their own accord, carrying me along the shore towards the fire that was beginning to fade. My thoughts were barren, giving me the space I needed not to process what had just happened.

When I approached the bonfire, several people were still around, acting exactly the same as when I'd last seen them. Jasper was sitting on one of the logs with a shivering Alice tucked tightly under his arm.

"Hey, where ya been?" he asked as soon as he noticed me hovering nearby.

Bella's voice rang through my head instantly. _You're not going to say a word_.

"Nowhere," I replied vaguely, and sat down next to him, the dancing fire warming my cold skin.

"The La Push guys left a bit ago," Jasper revealed. "It was weird. They didn't even try to harass anyone. They just sat by the fire for a while and then all left at once."

"Th-th-they left th-their beer," Alice sputtered, her teeth chattering.

"Maybe we should take her home," I suggested to Jasper. She didn't look too good at all. Her lips were turning blue.

"I'm f-f-fine," Alice spoke, shivering violently.

"Emmett's loading up his Jeep with some of the leftover food, but we're gonna take off in a bit. I'll probably stay over at his place," Jasper said to me.

I nodded, a bit thankful that I wouldn't have to drive him back home. "Alright, then…I guess I'm gonna head out now," I said. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my room. I stood, getting ready to leave.

"You have sand all over your back…" Jasper remarked, "and in your hair, too."

My eyes went wide and I quickly brought my hands up and tousled my hair, getting the sand out as best as I could. I tried to get the sand off from back, but it was hard to reach.

"Were you lying down in the sand or something?" he asked.

I cleared my throat nervously. "Uh, yeah…"

"Hmm," he hummed simply, raising an eyebrow at me.

We said our goodbyes and I made my way to my Volvo, my body relaxing as I sat in my car. I stalled for a moment, my thoughts taking over. What had happened tonight was completely unexpected, but I couldn't say that I regretted it. It seemed like it all happened fast. One minute I was walking through the woods, the next she was on top of me. I wanted, more than ever, to know what was going through her mind. Why did she follow me? Did she enjoy it?

I groaned and dropped my head to the steering wheel as I realized something. I'd only lasted literally a couple minutes. God…how embarrassing. It didn't even register with me that I'd came so goddamn soon. Weren't guys supposed to be able to hold out for a long time? Why couldn't I? Well, in my defense, it wasn't like I could control it. It all just sort of happened. The thing was that she hadn't commented on it. Had she even…orgasmed? I'd been so consumed by the feeling of her, that I didn't know if she had. How was I supposed to know, though? I mean, obviously, I knew what happened when I was finished, but what would happen with her? I groaned again, feeling ashamed of myself, and lifted my head from the steering wheel. She probably thought I was awful, that was why she wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

I started the car and drove away from the beach and my uncertain evening. It didn't take me too long before I was pulling up to my driveway. The house was completely pitch black except for my father's den. I could see his desk lamp on through the curtains of the window. Why was he up? Usually, when he came home late from the hospital, he'd go straight to bed where my mom was.

As I opened the door, I had an odd feeling. I could hear the incessant ticking of my father's clocks coming from his den. I placed my keys on a vacant hook of the key rack and began to make my way over to the stairs.

"Edward," I heard my father's voice call out from his study, and I halted my steps, one foot on the first stair. I sighed, and walked over into the den. He had his glasses on as he sat at his desk, reading a book. Not bothering to look up at my entrance, he flipped a page of his novel. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

I furrowed my brow and looked at one of the many clocks around the room. _Holy shit_! It was forty past twelve! How the hell did that even happen?

"Dad, I'm sorry…Jasper's party…I didn't even realize…" I stuttered, knowing I really had no excuse this time.

"I told you that your curfew was midnight," he said calmly, and flipped another page.

"Yeah, but I honestly didn't keep track of the time. Jasper didn't, either," I tried to salvage.

"Jasper didn't need to keep track of the time," he said, and set his book down. He looked up at me, and then I knew…I was screwed. "He's not the one with a curfew, nor is he the one who is grounded."

I sighed, entirely fed up with this stupid punishment. "Dad, this is ridiculous—" I began to say before he cut me off.

"Go to your room, Edward," he ordered, and picked up the book again.

I opened my mouth to retort, but quickly shut it and stormed out of his den. Well, there went my freedom. I took the stairs two at a time and shut the door firmly behind me as I entered my room. I breathed in deeply, the night's stresses weighing heavily on me. I didn't want to think anymore, goddamnit. All I wanted to do was crash in my bed and sleep. So, that was exactly what I did.

X-X-X-X

The next day at school, everyone was talking about the bonfire last night as well as the La Push guys crashing our party and then hastily leaving. None of them showed up today, so it gave everyone more to talk about in regards to their abrupt flight. I didn't much care or pay attention to anything my friends said in relation to that. There was only one thing on my mind since I woke up this morning—or one person, rather. Her truck was here today, but she wasn't around. I was almost tempted to go looking for her, and I had no idea why. I mean, she made it clear last night that she was ashamed of what we did. Her words right before she left taunted me over and over. She'd said it was what we both wanted, and I couldn't understand what she meant. Of course, I knew she didn't want anyone to know, but why would she think I didn't? I mean…did I? I had to admit, it would be extremely unsettling if people found out, but maybe I didn't care anymore...

Alright, I sort of cared_…_

People finding out that Bella and I had sex would be awful. My reputation would most likely be tarnished. Someone like me—a hardworker who had goals—couldn't be associated with someone like Bella. If it were to get back to my parents somehow, that would be the end. They'd probably have a coronary. I couldn't upset my mother like that. Not to mention, my friends would stop talking to me. Rose and Alice disliked her—Rose more than anything—and Emmett, as well as Jasper, followed their lead mostly. I'd be out of friends and my parents would become disappointed in me. So, there were definite reasons for people not to know about us…that didn't mean it didn't sting that Bella wanted it, too.

Tanya wasn't really a factor lately. We didn't seem to be a couple anymore—actually, we didn't seem to be much of anything. She'd spoken to me last night at the bonfire, but it was short lived. She'd gone back to ignoring me again today. I had a strong feeling that we were over, and I couldn't say that I was upset about that. Things between us just felt off ever since she got back. I'd thought it was just me, but I was starting to realize that it was her, too. She was different, and I couldn't pin how. She was still the same girl on the surface. She was studious, goal orientated, and responsible. It was more to do with her moods. The bubbly, happy girl I knew before was gone, replaced with someone that was sullen and quiet.

All morning, I'd tried hard not to think about the fact that I'd basically lost my virginity to Bella Swan. God…that thought alone was just ironic. I'd always planned to lose my virginity after high school. I'd never, in a million years, wanted to break that plan. But last night…it was like none of that mattered, and now, looking back, that plan was absolutely bullshit. The fact that I'd _planned_ when I was going to have sex told me a lot about who I was and why I was starting to not like myself. I'd realized these last few weeks that having things set in stone wasn't working out for me, especially when being spontaneous was offering me so much more. As to what it was offering me, I didn't know. All I knew was that it made me feel…alive. But even feeling this way, even with wanting to be different for a change, there was always that nagging voice in my head that told me to stay the course, and annoyingly enough, it sounded a lot like my father.

After lunch, I said bye to my friends and we all went our separate ways. I headed up to the second floor, down the hall, and towards Cooking. As soon as I stepped inside and saw that we had a substitute, I smiled. That would mean we didn't have to cook today. I could just spend the entire period doing my homework. I really did hate wearing that damn apron.

The girls filed in one by one, and as I sat at my desk, I kept my eyes trained on the doorway, looking intently for Bella to show.

_Her truck's here. She'll be here_, I assured myself.

I wasn't sure why I was so desperate to see her. I was positive I wouldn't be able to talk to her, but if I could just_ look_ at her…maybe I could catch her eye and try to see what she was thinking. Maybe I'd know if she thought about us and what we did as much as I thought about it. The chances of that were probably slim to none. I mean, she was Bella Swan. How many rumors had I heard about her screwing someone? I winced slightly at the thought of her with other guys. Though I tried to never believe those stupid rumors, I couldn't deny that she seemed experienced. She knew exactly what to do, where to put things, and how to make me feel like I'd never felt before. So, I was fairly certain she wasn't a virgin. Who had she had sex with, though? Shit…did I want to know? It better not have been Black because I swear to God—

Just as the bell rang, interrupting my inner thoughts, Bella walked into the classroom, her backpack slung loosely over one shoulder. My eyes were glued to her. She kept her head down as she made her way to her desk. A shiver ran through me when she passed by me. I noticed she looked a little tired, like she hadn't slept. Seeing her again after last night wasn't doing anything good for me. The mere sight of her only reminded me of how she looked above me, how her soft thighs felt under my fingers, how her slick heat wrapped around me.

My pants began to get tight, and I turned away from her quickly. Shit! I was hard just thinking about what she did to me. I couldn't let anyone see how turned on I was. I tried to sit up a bit, hoping to take my mind off her.

"Okay, class. Your teacher said you could study or do homework, so take out whatever you need to and get to work," the substitute said, looking like she didn't even want to be here.

I took out my AP Lit paper I needed to work on, but didn't take out a pen. The back of my neck tingled knowing the Bella was behind me in the aisle over. Was she looking at me? I turned my head slightly, wanting to take a peek, but it wasn't far enough, so I rotated it just a bit more. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her looking off towards the direction of the door. She appeared pensive, in her own thoughts. Her brown pools suddenly flashed to mine, and I whipped my head back to the front. _Damnit…at least be sly about it._

Not even a moment later, she whizzed by me, her backpack on her shoulder and a pack of cigarettes in her hand. She was headed to the door.

"Where are you going, young lady?" the substitute asked.

"None of your fucking business," I heard Bella mutter as she flung open the door and retreated into the hallway.

"Young lady!" the substitute hollered, standing up from the desk she was perched at.

In an instant, I stood and walked over to the substitute. I had no clue what I was doing, but I couldn't let Bella just leave without…I didn't even know. I just couldn't let her leave.

The substitute was speedily walking over to the door, until I cut off her path hastily. She stopped in her tracks as she nearly crashed into me.

"What are you doing? Move out of my way," she ordered.

"Uhhh…" I fumbled, "do you think I could go to the…umm…" _What the hell are you doing? In the time it takes you to think up an excuse for leaving, Bella will probably be gone._ So, I spun around and quickly exited the classroom, the substitute's calls echoing throughout the hallway. I practically flew down the stairs and towards the doors leading to the parking lot, where I had the inkling she was.

When I pushed them open, I stepped outside and slowed down my pace to a full stop. My eyes scanned over the lot, landing on her truck, which was still here…but there was no Bella. I looked towards the bushes, wondering if she'd disappeared behind them, though there was no way of knowing she'd gone through there without going there myself. Was she headed to the shack? I hadn't been there for a while, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back. But if she was there, I didn't think I had a choice.

I hadn't even taken a step forward, when the scent of cigarette smoke invaded my senses. Before, I'd have hated that smell, but now, it was familiar, almost relaxing.

"Are you following me?" I heard from behind me.

I instantly turned around to see Bella leaning against the brick wall of the building by the doors. She had a cigarette between her index and middle finger, and brought it up to her lips as she stared me down. How had I not seen her on my way out?

"No," I lied.

She blew out a breath full of smoke. Her eyes narrowed as she moved away from the wall and towards where I was standing, frozen. "You're such a fucking liar," she said, and walked around me.

I followed her as she made her way across the lot. "Can we maybe…I don't know…talk about what happened—?"

She snorted, cutting me off. "Let me guess," she started, her tone appearing amused, "you want another fuck. Am I right?"

Was that what I wanted? Wait...no! That wasn't what I wanted…well…I didn't really know what I wanted, but I did know that looking at the way her black shirt clung to her chest and her black jeans hugged her body, it was doing all sorts of things to me. "I…um," I fumbled.

Without knowing it, we'd made it over to the bushes. She stopped walking and took one last drag of her cigarette before she flung it over my shoulder. She blew smoke to the side and crossed her arms over her chest. I tried hard to keep my eyes on her face.

"Touch luck, Richie. You're not getting another one of those," she said calmly, but I could see anger swimming in her eyes. "Now stop following me." She turned and began to step through the bushes. Not listening to her at all, I followed right behind her. She spun around, glowering at me, and placed a hand on my chest to stop my movement. "Hey." Her tone was threatening and harsh. A wave of warmth shot through my body as her hand firmly pressed into my chest. I looked down at her small hand, not wanting her to move it. She snatched her hand back as if she'd been burned. "Just because I let you through here that one time, doesn't mean it'll happen again. And as for another fuck, don't you have your snooty girlfriend to take care of that?" With that, she moved through the bushes and out of my sight.

After a few moments, I turned around, feeling dejected, and walked back towards the school. Last night, whatever it was that happened between us, meant nothing to her like it had to me. She made it clear that it was just a one time thing. I couldn't keep following her like this and thinking about her if that was all it was to her. Though I wasn't certain specifically what being with her last night meant to me, I knew that it was something that I never wanted to forget. But I had to. I needed to move on now and get on with my life as if nothing ever happened.

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**A/N: **

**Ahhh, teenage boys-budding feelings and prematurely ejaculating. It doesn't get any better than that. **

**I'd like to point out something, and you can just skip over this if you want. I've been getting some reviews saying things along the lines of "It's such and such chapters in and blah blah hasn't happened yet?" Some people think Tanya should be gone by now, some want more ExB time, others think answers to questions should've already been revealed. Last I checked, there's no fanfic rule book that says how many chapters there needs to be before certain things happen. I understand people are anxious, but I assure you that things are changing and answers will come. I have everything plotted out, but I also need to set up a storyline; otherwise, what good are the answers? I just ask that you trust me and know that I will reveal things in their own time when it's appropriate. Revealing answers now would be as pre-mature as Edward losing his virginity to Bella. ;-)  
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**My next update won't be as long as my last one was, I assure you. I went on a writing binge of this story and managed to whip out a few chapters ahead, so expect an update next Wednesday. **

**Thanks for reading to all the old and new readers, and please review. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **

**Thanks so much for your reviews last chapter. I do appreciate them all. **

**Beta is Lindz26 and pre-reader is Renas40. I owe them a lot for their help.

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**_WARNING: Adult situations ahead. _

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As much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. I did everything I could to take my mind off her by busying myself with school work and throwing myself into swim practices. An entire week had passed and all that amount of time did was make me think of her more, even with the fact that Bella hadn't come to school all week. Her truck wasn't even in the lot. I couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with what happened between us, but then again, she didn't want anything to do with me. Would she really skip school as a means to avoid seeing me?

By Friday morning at school, I was fed up of my thoughts being centralized around her, so I did what I had to do. I was a bit reluctant, considering the circumstances as of lately, but I didn't feel I had a choice in the matter.

I made my way down the hall, grasping the strap of my messenger bag positioned on my shoulder, and walked over to Tanya's locker. She was there, spinning the dial in an attempt to open it. We'd been talking a little more here and there, but nowhere near how we used to. Our friends kept asking what was up with us, but I didn't have an answer for them because I didn't know. It wasn't like it was prevalent in my mind, anyway. But when my mother started asking me, as well, I began to feel pressured to figure it out, which was part of the reason why I was about to do this.

"Hey," I greeted Tanya, leaning against the locker next to hers.

She cast me a sideways glance and smiled, then went back to trying to open her locker. "Hey."

"Having trouble?" I questioned.

She sighed. "My locker is jammed. I have the combination right, but I don't know how to get it open. I think there's something stuck in there."

"Here, let me try," I offered. I already knew her locker combination, so I attempted to open it without her permission. She stepped aside minutely and watched me. When I'd spun the right combination, I opened it forcefully, hoping that whatever was stuck in there would have no choice but to move. The door swung open, and her red Bible fell out, crashing to the ground. Before I could pick it up, someone already beat me to it. I quirked an eyebrow when I saw that it was Jessica Stanley.

"Here you go," Jessica said with analytical expression as she held it out between Tanya and me. Tanya didn't acknowledge Jessica, so I took it off her hands. After I told Jessica thank you, she walked off and I held it out for Tanya to take, since it was hers.

Tanya didn't grasp hold of it; instead, she began taking out other books from inside her locker. "Trash it," she instructed.

My eyes went wide in shock. "Excuse me?" I questioned. Had I heard her right?

She pointed to a black trash can a bit down the hall. "The trash is over there. Throw it away."

I looked at the Bible in my hand at then back at her. Was she insane? Wasn't that like…a sin or something? I mean, I didn't believe in religion, but still...it just seemed so wrong. It was like burning the flag or something.

"Uhh…no. I don't think that's a good idea," I said cautiously, and placed the book in her locker.

She rolled her eyes, snatched the book, and then took the necessary steps over to the trash can. She tossed it without a care and then walked back over to her locker, closing the door casually.

"You alright?" I questioned warily.

"Yep," she replied cheerily, and leaned against her closed locker. "What's up?"

I cleared my throat, prepping myself, but I couldn't help but feel a bit reluctant. "Well, it's Friday and I was wondering if you had any plans," I said. There…that wasn't so hard. Yet, I still felt uncomfortable.

She stared at me for a few seconds, unblinking, and then appeared pensive. "Uh, nothing at all," she replied.

"Well, maybe we can go to dinner tonight in Port Angeles," I offered. "You know…like old times."

She frowned and looked down at the ground. "Yeah…old times," she said, and then emitted a small smile as she lifted her head. "Of course, Eddie. But aren't you grounded?"

I shrugged. "I could probably talk to my mom," I said, even though I knew for a fact my mom would be okay with it, since she was the one who suggested it in the first place.

She nodded. "Then it's a date. Pick me up at seven," she instructed, and stepped closer. My eyebrows shot up, wondering what she was doing. She raised herself on her tiptoes and leaned in towards me. I remained stiff as a board. When she pecked me on the cheek chastely and then skittered off towards her next class, I visibly relaxed.

I knew that it was already a bad sign if I was feeling off just at the thought of her kissing me, and I just hoped that things could go back to normal between us during the date.

X-X-X-X

This was a mistake.

I stared blankly into the soaked white linen cloth on the table, splattered in water as our waiter tried to clean it up as best as he could.

The entire date had been a complete bust. I'd picked Tanya up at exactly seven, dressed in a striped black button down shirt and black slacks. She looked her usual done up self in a tight fitting burgundy mini dress with a string of pearls around her neck. On the ride over, we were quiet mostly. She seemed nervous and fidgeted a lot in her seat. By the time we got to the restaurant in Port Angeles, I was nervous myself just because of how she was acting. When we'd situated ourselves at our table, I ordered what I knew she liked, which was what I usually liked, too. When her smoked salmon came, however, she started hacking, saying she couldn't eat it because it had gone rancid. The waiter apologized and assured that he would bring her out the same dish, free of charge. The second attempt was exactly the same. I wasn't sure why she kept getting fish that had gone off, mine tasted fine to me, but I sent my dish back, just for safe measure. On the third attempt, she ordered something completely different, which was just a salad. She seemed satisfied with that, so we continued on as normal…sort of.

Our conversation was nothing short of boring. The thing was that it was stuff we used to talk about all the time, like our grades, our after school activities, our friends. This was how we'd originally bonded and maintained our relationship, but now, I felt completely out of my element. I didn't want to talk about school or my responsibilities. I didn't want to discuss our friends. I wanted…more than this trivial stuff.

Sensing my lack of enthusiasm towards the conversation, Tanya started to overcompensate by talking even more, not allowing me to get a word in. I could tell she was nervous, but what for, I didn't know. She had barely even touched her food she was so consumed by talking.

Then…it all went to hell.

She was using her hands a lot as she spoke and she suddenly knocked over her glass of ice water, which seeped out on the table and into my lap. I stood up, since it was goddamn freezing cold, and tried to pat my pants dry with my napkin. She panicked and tried to help out, but when she stood, the cloth jolted along with her, toppling my own drinking glass onto the floor, where it broke into several sharp pieces, causing the whole restaurant to turn to us. Our waiter rushed over, trying to clean up our mess, and I sat down, completely annoyed and pissed. Tanya, however, reacted differently. Tears welled up in her eyes and she immediately bolted towards the bathrooms.

So, here I was, water in my lap, the waiter attempting to clean up the glass off the floor, and Tanya most likely crying in the bathroom.

My first reaction was aggravation towards Tanya for ruining the evening, even though it was pretty much awful from the start. But once I calmed down a bit, I realized that my anger wasn't helping and that she was genuinely upset. So, I stood and made my way over to the womens' bathroom where I knew she was. I leaned against the door frame and listened for a bit before I knocked. I could hear her sniffling in there, which was amplified with the bathroom acoustics. She didn't respond to my knock, so I sighed and spoke to her.

"You okay?" I questioned her through the door.

"I ruined everything," she sobbed.

I didn't reply straight away, deciding to choose my words carefully. "Well, I'm pretty sure the chef ruined the fish, not you," I joked. She half laughed, half cried in response. "Why don't you come out and we'll get out of here." It was probably best if we just called it a night and went home.

She agreed meekly and I waited a few more minutes for her to come out. Her blonde eyelashes were wet and her nose was slightly red. I paid for dinner, giving our waiter a more than generous tip, and then we walked out of the restaurant. She stopped abruptly, saying the strap of her heel had come undone. As she bent down to fix it, I stared out across the street. There was a noisy bar with drunken people coming in and out. I wondered what it would be like to go into one of those. I'd never had the desire to go into one before, especially since I was underage, but at the moment, it seemed like somewhere I wanted to go to.

While I continued staring, the doors to the bar suddenly opened, and my hands balled into fists when I saw who walked out.

Goddamn Black. What the hell was he doing here? Didn't he have little kids to beat up or something, like he usually did?

He was holding the door open, as if waiting for someone to walk out. He had his usual black leather jacket on, like that would make him any more of an ass. Suddenly, a petite woman walked out and he shut the door behind them. I looked closer, feeling an odd sense of familiarity. She had on a modestly short, brown dress with tiny pink floral prints on it, as well as a light pink cardigan that kept her warm from the cold night. Her dark hair was tied up with wisps of wavy loose tendrils framing her delicate face. It was then that her eyes connected with mine. My heart rate took off at the speed of light.

It was Bella.

She craned her neck to stare back at me over her shoulder, appearing surprised to see me as her and Black walked side by side towards a black motorcycle.

She looked so different, so…feminine. She didn't have her usual makeup on; instead, her face was natural. God…she was…just…fuck…she was so goddamn beautiful. I'd never understand how the guys in school could refer to her as simply hot or sexy when she was clearly breathtaking. And speaking of breath, I hadn't realized I'd stopped breathing altogether as I continued my leer at her. She finally turned away when Black wrapped his arm around her waist to help her onto the motorcycle.

"Okay, ready to go?" Tanya asked me, snapping my attention back to her.

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said quietly, and led Tanya towards my car.

There was a loud crack through the air as Black's motorcycle was turned on. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella wrap her arms around his waist, and they sped off.

On the way to Tanya's house, I couldn't take my mind off Bella. My mood had plummeted considerably. Had she been on a date with Black? They came out of the bar _together_. That surely meant that they were having some sort of alone time with each other or something. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand what she saw in him. It pissed me the hell off that she was with him, especially after what she'd done with me. I wondered if he knew. The thought alone had me smirking to myself when I considered that he might not have known, because if he did, he'd probably try to punch the shit out of me. Maybe I wanted him to find out. It would give me a reason to pay him back for trying to beat me up several weeks ago.

We arrived at Tanya's house and I opened her door for her, helping her as she stepped out of my Volvo. Wanting to get home, I told her I'd see her at school on Monday. Her face fell, looking solemn.

"I would like it if you came inside," she admitted softly. I hesitated. I really should've gone home, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything, especially after our awful date. "At least for a couple minutes."

I sighed and relented, allowing her to lead me inside of her empty house and up the stairs to her bedroom. As soon as I stepped in after her, she shut the door behind us and walked over to her dresser, taking off her string of pearls along the way.

"You can sit on the bed if you'd like," she offered.

I didn't move for a second, considering her words. I'd sat on her bed a thousand times, so what was the big deal? With that in mind, I took a seat right on the edge.

"I'm really sorry about tonight," she said, and walked over to stand in front of me.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," I assured.

She sighed. "There's a lot to be sorry for…but I'd like to make it up to you," she spoke softly, and then hiked up a knee on the bed next to my thigh as if she was going to straddle me. Warning bells instantly went off and I tried to scoot back on the bed, out from under her.

"Tanya, what are you doing?" I questioned nervously.

She reached behind her and quickly unzipped the back of her dress, allowing the fabric to drop from her body onto the floor, which left her in just a light pink matching strapless bra and panties set. My eyes just about bugged out and my pulse quickened as I stared at her half naked form. In a flash, she was crawling up the bed towards me where I remained deathly still.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she purred confidently and ran her hands up my thighs towards my abs.

I finally was able to move and my arms shot out to still her wandering hands that were beginning to fiddle with the buttons on my shirt. "I thought you didn't want to do this," I brought up, remembering the last time we were in a similar position.

She glared at me for a brief moment, and I almost missed it before her expression turned dark and sultry. "I changed my mind. I want it now." With that, she positioned herself to straddle my waist, attempting to move her hands that were still in a tight grasp by my own.

"You-what?" I choked, my mind feeling dizzy.

"I don't want to wait for college," she admitted, her tone low and breathy. "I'm ready. So, take me." She reached behind her to the clasp of her bra, subtle clicks resonating throughout the room as she unsnapped each hook with one hand.

My mind was racing quicker than ever before. In a second, if I let her, she'd be almost naked in front of me. She'd then take off her panties, and I'd take my clothes off, too. We'd have slow sex, considering she was a virgin. Over the next several months, we'd continue our relationship and have more sex and then head off to Yale. After a couple years, our parents would expect a proposal, and I'd follow through. We'd decide to get married after we fulfilled our residencies and then have a lavish wedding with all our friends and families there to support us. No sooner than that, there would be pets and kids. We'd watch our kids and then grandkids grow as we'd remain together until our deaths. That would be our life—the straight and narrow path to security. A lifetime of comfort with everything planned out.

Just as her bra began to fall away from her breasts, I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and removed her off my lap and onto the bed. I quickly stood, my back facing her, and opened my eyes, my breathing slow.

I didn't want this life. I didn't want to be tied down by a plan or revolving my existence around goals that people expected me to achieve. I wanted to be free to do whatever the fuck I wanted, set my own path, and just be fucking _me_. Things had changed—I'd changed. The last few weeks had taught me that life could be interesting if I allowed it to. That one night I'd spent with Bella…though I was drunk most of the time, I'd never felt so free and uninhibited before. The tattoo I'd gotten was a result of that, and I wanted nothing more than to abide by it. Doing this, being here with Tanya, wasn't what I wanted anymore, and I needed to be honest with myself…and with her.

I was pulled out of my epiphany when I heard soft sniffling behind me. Reacting instinctively, I turned around, and my face dropped. Tanya had maneuvered the covers up to her chest, shrouding my sight from her bare breasts. Her eyes were wet and red, tears spilling down her face. I knew she could sense something was different and it filled me with guilt to have not been straight up with her from the start.

"Tanya," I began, and paused, wanting to stall a bit to gather my bearings, "you're a great person—"

"Please, don't, Edward," she pleaded, and hung her head as she sobbed. She knew exactly what I was trying to do.

I didn't speak for a minute, allowing her to settle down. "I'm sorry, but I just have to be up front—"

"What about our parents, huh? Our friends?" she asked, her tone rising through her broken voice.

"I don't care what they want out of me anymore," I answered. They all had plans for me, but if they really cared, they would just let me be.

"What about Yale?" she questioned in whisper.

"I don't know about that yet…" I said honestly, because I didn't. All I knew right now was that I couldn't go on like this anymore. I didn't want to think and mull over it all, either. I just wanted to…_do_.

She shook her head and more tears streaked down her face. "No, Eddie," she begged. "We've had some communication problems, I know that, but we can work it out. We've been together too long to not even give it a try."

"Tanya," I started, considering my next words, "I don't want to work it out." She gasped, her eyes swimming with the rejection I was practically throwing at her. I knew my words were harsher than what I would've liked, but it was the complete truth, and I couldn't deny that anymore. "I'm sorry." And I was. She deserved someone that would want to fix things when times got tough. I just didn't want to. My heart wasn't in it. Several weeks ago, I would've busted my ass to fix us, but things had changed since then. We were no longer the perfect Tanya and Edward that everyone knew us to be.

She didn't respond; instead, she lay down on the bed and drew the covers up to her shoulders as she continued to cry quietly. I couldn't stay here and watch her crumble because of me, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I left.

X-X-X-X

I hated Mondays. I was still half asleep as I made my way out of AP Environmental Science with Jasper, Alice, and Rose. They talked about an upcoming test and I tuned them out as best as I could. I really wasn't in the mood for school today.

We walked into the lunchroom and they went off in a separate direction to get food while I continued towards our usual table. I saw the back of Tanya as she sat there with no food in front of her. I was a bit cautious as I approached, considering we'd broken up and hadn't seen each other all weekend, but I knew we had to talk eventually since we shared the same friends. However, none of them knew I was girlfriendless now.

"Hey," I greeted casually as I pulled up a chair next to her.

She glanced up at me, and then dropped her eyes to the table. "Hi," she greeted back quietly.

I sighed heavily and sat down. "Look, I'm sorry for everything," I apologized.

She shook her head. "No, I understand why you did it," she said, but still looked solemn.

I cocked my head to the side. "You do?" I questioned. She couldn't possibly know about everything that had happened to me since she got back.

She nodded and smiled weakly. "Yeah, it's fine, really. I was upset before, but I'm okay now. It's probably for the best." I internally sighed in relief. I was glad she didn't seem to be taking this too hard. "Can we still be friends?"

I chuckled and threw an arm lazily around her shoulder. "Yep," I agreed.

"Hey, hey, lovebirds," I heard hollered behind me, and I extracted my arm from around Tanya as Emmett pulled a chair up to the table. "What's up?"

"Aren't you getting food?" Tanya questioned.

"Nah, my mom made this big ass breakfast this morning. I'm not even hungry," Emmett answered.

Rose, Alice, and Jasper came over with trays full of food and took seats around the table. Emmett reached out to Rose's tray and grabbed some fries from her.

"Goddamnit, Emmett. Don't eat my food!" Rose barked.

He chewed with a smirk. "Is there something else you'd like me to eat, then?" he questioned, waggling his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes. "You're disgusting," she remarked.

He suddenly stood, and leaned down to kiss the top of Rose's head. "Aww, thanks, babe," he cooed, and then eyed me. He nudged his head, towards the cafeteria exit.

"What?" I questioned, not understanding what he was doing.

"Let's go," he ordered.

"Where are you guys going?" Alice inquired, her ears perking up.

"Relax, Alice. We're not doing anything exciting," Emmett told her. She slumped down in her chair in response, looking bored. "Coming or what, Ed?"

I shrugged and grabbed my bag as I stood, then followed him out of the cafeteria. We walked down the hallway and stopped near a water fountain.

"What's going on?" I questioned suspiciously. He wouldn't leave the cafeteria for anything usually.

"What? We can't catch up?" he queried. "We haven't really talked in a while."

I felt bad, because he was right. We'd barely been able to hang out lately like we used to. "Yeah, sorry about that."

He chuckled. "Nah, it's okay. I know you've been _busy_."

I furrowed my brow at his intonation. "What do you mean?"

He leaned in a bit closer. "You and Bella getting it on," he whispered.

My eyes went wide and I gawked at him. "What—you—how—?" I sputtered frantically.

He laughed, looking surprised. "Oh, dude…so it's true?" he questioned, and then shook his head. "I knew it." His tone was full of amusement and excitement. "So, how is she?"

I shook my head minutely, trying to get my brain to catch up. "Wait, uh, how did you know that?"

He gave me a self-satisfied smirk. "At Jasper's party, I saw you go into the woods. Not even thirty seconds later, Bella was walking in after you. I knew you two were gonna screw."

It had been Bella in the woods talking to Black? How had I not known that, considering she knew where I had gone after I left the forest? But what concerned me now was that if Emmett knew, then who else did? I was guessing that my face reflected my thoughts, because he spoke instantly.

"Relax, man. No one saw anything. I was just walking back from my car and noticed. Everyone else was completely oblivious to it. Well…except Jacob Black, who followed after her."

I rubbed a hand over my face. "Shit," I muttered.

"Like I said, chill out. No one knows. But you gotta tell me how she was," he demanded.

I shot him a glare. "I'm not telling you that."

He pouted, looking like he was five. "Oh, come on. You gotta give me something. Was she flexible? Did she make noise? Does she like to talk dirty? Was she waxed?" he asked, firing off a million questions that made my head spin. But I caught the last question and instantly flushed. Bella was definitely waxed. "Oh man! She's_ waxed_?" He chuckled, and sighed. "This is too awesome. What else?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean what else?"

"Well, you did it at the beach. Where else have you done it?" he questioned.

I cleared my throat. "We…we haven't done anything since then."

He looked disappointed. "Nothing?"

"No, she made it clear that it was a one time thing," I replied sullenly.

"That sucks," he muttered. "So, then…what about you and Tanya?"

"Uhh," I started warily, "we're not together anymore."

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "Man, I thought for sure you two would make it out of high school," he mused. "You both always seemed so solid."

I shrugged, not really knowing how to respond to that. "I guess things change."

"They sure do," he mumbled, and then smiled, patting me once on the shoulder. "Alright, it was good catching up. Wanna head back to lunch?"

I shook my head. I didn't have an appetite at all. "You go ahead. I'm just gonna go to my locker."

We parted ways with the promise that I'd call him later. Since I was still grounded, we couldn't really hang out, so he said he might stop over and pretend he would be there to see Jasper.

I walked down the hall, on my way to my locker. There was no one in the halls, since everyone was currently at lunch. Just as I was about to reach my locker, I could feel someone grab the back of my shirt and tug me backwards. I found myself reversing into a classroom, and I quickly spun around to see who the hell brought me in here. When I saw just who it was, my body hummed with my arousal that I couldn't stop, even if I wanted to.

"What are you doing, Bella?" I asked haughtily.

A small smile played at her lips as she shut the door behind me. Without a response, she fisted the front of my shirt and pushed me against the door. My breathing escalated and I swallowed thickly as she began to quickly unbutton my jeans.

What the hell was she doing? She told me she wanted nothing to do with me, and now I was in—what looked like—an empty art room with Bella trying to undo my jeans. This wasn't right or fair.

I shot my hand out and grabbed her wrist firmly. Her eyes flashed to mine in question.

"Answer me," I demanded forcefully. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck does it look like I'm doing, genius?"

"What happened to that whole running out on me and then basically telling me to get lost?" I asked angrily. I was sick of her hot and cold attitude.

She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand out of my grasp and away from my jeans. "Wow, turning down a fuck, are you? You didn't seem to mind at the beach, huh?" she asked cockily.

"I'm not your toy," I spat, narrowing my eyes at her. Did she really thing I was the type of guy that just wanted sex or that I'd just be available to her whenever she wanted? If she did, then forget this. I turned my back on her and attempted to open the door to leave, but it wouldn't budge. It was locked.

"You need the key," Bella noted, hints of amusement in her tone.

I slowly turned to face her in defeat, and saw her holding up a bronze key. She tossed it on one of the desks nearby, and then crossed her arms over her chest. Why was she even here? Clearly, she was enjoying this. I had to admit that Bella in such close proximity to me was making it hard not to reach out and touch her like I secretly wanted to.

"What about Jacob?" I questioned, my expression flat, giving away no tells whatsoever.

"What about Tanya?" she countered, giving me the exact same look. I kept my face neutral, not wanting to show her how affected I was by her or how incredibly jealous I was that she'd just insinuated that she was with Black. "Had fun on your date Friday night?"

"Yep," I lied, playing this weird power struggle game as we tried to get the upper hand on each other. "You?"

She merely smirked cockily. "Did you two fuck?" she questioned.

Was she…jealous? Why did she care if I slept with Tanya or not? It wasn't like I did or would, but it just seemed like she was fishing. Perhaps she felt the same way about Tanya that I did about Black.

"Is that really any of your business?" I deflected.

She smiled sinisterly. "The key is right there," she remarked, pointing to it resting on the desk.

She was testing me, telling me I could go if I wanted, but now that I was here, I didn't really want to leave. I'd been angry when she first pulled me in, and I still was a bit, yet I had to admit, it was sort of fun messing around with her and letting her think I was still with Tanya when I clearly wasn't. It seemed to get a reaction out of her, even with as much as she tried to hide it.

"Good to know," I acknowledged coolly.

"But you're not really going to go."

"And why is that?" I asked.

She took a step forward and placed her hands on my chest, causing a shiver to run down my spine. "Because I know you want this. I see the way you look at me."

I gazed into her dark brown eyes, not even hiding the fact that I was openly staring at her. "A lot of guys look at you."

Trailing her hands down, she stopped when her fingers skimmed the waistband of my jeans. "Not like you," she admitted confidently, slightly teasing me as she toyed with the button, acting as if she was going to pop it open, but then wouldn't.

"And how do I look at you, exactly?" I queried. At this point, I was ready to pick her up and take her. My erection was screaming at me. But I was enjoying this game of cat and mouse too much.

She grabbed my hand in response and placed it directly on top of her breasts. I fought to keep my eyes from fucking popping out of their sockets. Holy shit. My mind went completely blank and I forgot instantly what we were talking about before. I allowed the weight of her breast to fill my palm and I squeezed slightly, feeling how firm yet supple it was. I imagined what it would feel like without her clothes separating us. She brought my other hand up and placed it on her other breast, then unzipped my jeans. While she was making work of my pants, I played with her breasts, kneading them, cupping them, rubbing my thumbs over them. I could feel her nipples begin to harden, and I wanted more than anything to suck on them.

Before I knew it, my boxers and jeans were wrapped around my ankles and she was undoing her own jeans. Reluctantly, I dropped my hands and pushed her jeans down her hips and past her knees. Her lower half revealed to me, and she was wearing a pair of lavender lacy panties. Fuck…I thought the blue cotton ones were hot, but these…ten times better.

I fell to my knees and grabbed her waist to bring her to me. I lifted her tank top a bit, her belly button exposed, and began to place small kisses down her stomach. Darting my tongue out, I tasted the flesh of her sweet skin. She ran her fingers through my hair, her nails scraping against my scalp, and she moaned.

"Edward," she whispered in pleasure, "take them off."

Figuring she meant her panties, I hooked my fingers into the sides and slowly peeled them down her body to join where her jeans were pooled around her ankles. Her heat was, once again, revealed to me, soaked with her arousal. I brought my face closer and sucked the skin of her pelvis into my mouth, not bothering to be gentle. My hard length twitched in satisfaction when she cursed softly. I grabbed it and pumped a few times to ease the ache, but it was no use. I needed to be inside her right fucking now.

"I want you," I said quietly, and stood. She was looking at me with hooded eyes, and I was sure I was looking at her the same way. I snaked my hands down to her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze, and brought her to me, my member pressing up against her stomach.

Without any warning, I picked her up and moved her to a nearby desk, sitting her down on the edge. She spread open her legs and took hold of my erection. I inhaled sharply as her hands molded around me, and I got lost in the feel of her stroking me slowly. With her rhythm set, I began to breathe more erratically, feeling a tightening in my stomach. However, I didn't want to finish like this—with her hand pumping me. I wanted to be inside of her when I came. So, I stilled her hand and moved between her thighs. I hooked my arms underneath her silky legs and pulled her more towards the edge, then wrapped them around my waist.

My mind was only focused on her. In this moment, it was Bella and Edward—no games, no secrets, just us. I didn't even care that we were in school doing this or that anyone that had a key could walk in. It didn't matter one goddamn bit. I was with Bella. _That _was all that mattered.

I positioned the tip of my length at her slick entrance, hoping that it was in the right location. I knew roughly where it was from the last time we did this. She helped me out and positioned me a bit lower. When her breath hitched, I figured I was good to push in, so I did…very slowly. God, she was so tight.

"Shit," I cursed.

Her warmth was encasing me as I slid in easily, and I never felt so perfectly at home in all my life. She propped her hands behind her, and leaned back marginally. Her chest jutted out and my eyes instantly focused on her cleavage. When I was deep inside of her, I had to stop, feeling a sudden spur of pleasure begging to erupt. I allowed myself to calm down, and then I pulled out all the way until only my tip was inside of her.

"Oh, fuck," Bella moaned. "Don't go slow, just fuck me, please."

Not needing to be told twice, I slammed roughly into her and she cried out. Over and over I pumped in and out, my thrusts erratic with the need to have her the way I'd been wanting to for a long time. She drove me crazy, and it was almost like I was getting out my frustrations over her by pounding the hell out of her. She didn't seem to mind, though; in fact, her eyes were screwed tightly shut and her moans were strangled as she tried to keep as quiet as she could. As it was, I was having a hard time being quiet, too. The feeling of her hot core surrounding me was like an addiction. I wanted more and more.

"Touch me," she demanded breathlessly.

"Where?" I asked, my voice rough and gravelly.

She took hold of my hand, placed it between us, and positioned my thumb so that it touched her swollen nub. "Right here," she clarified. "Rub it."

I did what she asked and began rubbing it in circles slowly. She sighed and threw her head back, biting her lip. The sight was so fucking hot, that it made me rub her faster, just to see what other reactions I could get out of her. She didn't disappoint. As I continued my hard pounding into her, and my circling of her bundle of nerves, she began to rock against me, meeting me thrust for thrust.

Her cries grew louder and I could feel her start to tighten around me, which only heightened the sensation more. Shit! I was seriously going to lose it if she continued doing that. I dropped my forehead to her shoulder and she quickly wound her fingers into my hair, pulling hard at the roots. I grunted in reaction and rubbed her harder and faster. Suddenly, her walls clamped down on me and her moans were loud in my ear. Fuck…she was coming. I couldn't help but smile cockily to myself. She cursed several times before her body went limp and she began to fall back. I wrapped my arms around her, catching her just in time before she fell against the desk, and I hugged her close to me as I started to really go for it by sliding in and out as quick as I could, wanting to come right this fucking second.

In a matter of seconds, a wave of pleasure rose up deep within my stomach and my balls tightened. I hugged her closer to me as I geared up to spill into her.

"Come on, Edward. Come inside me," she encouraged softly in my ear.

That was enough to send me over the edge and I came harder than I ever had, shooting warm spurts of my seed inside of her. She tightened around me, milking me for every last drop. I was in fucking heaven. Everything was white and bright lights prickled my vision. When the sensation began to fade, my breathing came out in puffs, and I nearly collapsed on top of her, struggling to keep myself up. After a few moments, I pulled out of her, hissing at the loss of contact, and then looked at her. Her face was flushed and her hair was sticking to her forehead. She never looked more angelic than she did now.

We remained in our spots in relative silence, both calming down from our highs. She cast me a glance and then smirked. I reached up and tucked her sweaty hair behind her ear before bending down to grab my jeans and boxers so I could cover up. She immediately hopped off the desk, fully recovered, and did the same with her jeans. I subtly watched her bare ass as she bent down, but then it was quickly shrouded in black denim.

"How'd you get that key?" I questioned, breaking the silence.

She laughed and began running her fingers through her hair as if they were a brush. "I swiped the master key," she admitted.

I snorted and shook my head. "So, you have a key to every classroom?"

She shot me a cocky grin. "Just about," she answered, and looked over her shoulder towards the door. "Well, that was fun, but I gotta jam." She turned and began making her way over to the door.

_Oh no you fucking don't._

I quickly followed after her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face me. "When will I see you again?" I questioned hastily.

"A bit confident there, huh, Richie?" she questioned, amused.

The corner of my mouth turned up. "Very."

She ran her finger down my chest. "Well, we go to the same school…" she trailed off with a smile.

"That's not what I meant," I replied.

Maneuvering out of my hold, she pulled away and grabbed the key off the desk, then shoved it into her pocket. "Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow. Same time," she said, her tone playful. With that, she walked over to the door and pushed it open. Just as she walked out, she cast me a glance over her shoulder. My spirits soared, because I knew that I would do everything in my power to make Bella Swan mine.

* * *

**A/N: **

**For those that were unsure of whether Tanya and Edward were over, well there you go. **

**So, Edward's being a bit more assertive with Bella, and she responded to that. Hmm…**

**Polyvore is on my profile for this chapter. **

**Reviewers get a teaser. Thanks for reading! **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **

**Hey guys! I think I need to clear something up based on some of your reviews. Bella is on the pill, which she said a couple chapters ago. They aren't using condoms. Why? Edward's not thinking straight, obviously. He's taking a risk to be with her. Hence the title. **

**Beta is Lindz26 and pre-reader is Renas40.

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Over the course of the next two weeks, I was in a state of euphoria. Everything was going right. My friends began to come over a bit more and hang out. We'd eat food and just talk about insignificant things. It was nice to feel close to them again, since I felt like I was starting to drift away from them all before. My dad was at the hospital more, so I barely saw him. I felt bad for my mom, considering she always seemed a bit down, but I tried my best to hang out with her, too—even if that meant watching sappy movies with her. Jasper would usually hide in his room on those evenings.

The end of the first quarter came swiftly and Principal Banner notified me that there was a space available in Philosophy if I wanted to transfer. He was pretty surprised when I turned him down, but I wasn't at all, considering the change in events. It was funny because at the beginning of school I was ready to chop off my left leg so that I could transfer out of Cooking, but now…no way in hell. I was doing fairly well in the class, not brilliantly, but decent enough; however, that wasn't the reason why I wanted to stay there. The sole purpose of why I was even happy now was in that class with me.

Bella and I had continued our secret romps in the art room on a daily basis. At lunch, instead of going to the cafeteria, I'd go directly to the art room where she'd be waiting for me. No one ever asked me where I was going, and I never bothered to tell them. Actually, that was a lie. Emmett was incessantly on my ass to give me details about Bella and me. I was starting to get a bit ticked off with how invested he was in knowing about her sexually. I mean, I was aware he thought Bella was hot, but seriously…I just didn't like it. I was becoming much more aware of just how much guys in school gawked at her and I wanted to punch them all in the faces one by one. She never seemed to notice them, or if she did, she didn't care. I was almost grateful for that fact.

Though Bella and I met up every day and had the most goddamn awesome sex I'd ever had—even though I only had her to compare to—there was still certain things that threw me off. First of all, and probably most importantly, she refused to kiss me. I didn't understand why. So many times, we'd come close…we'd just be there, and then she'd pull away. I knew she wanted to, so why was she fighting it? The sex was great, yes—fully-clothed, mind you—but I craved for another kind of intimacy with her. I wanted to kiss her and be kissed. I wanted to sprinkle soft pecks down her cheek and neck. I wanted to be bare with her, on top of her, under her as I slid into her. She wouldn't have it, though. I wasn't sure if she'd ever let me, but that wouldn't keep me from trying.

Another thing that bothered me was how tight-lipped she was about herself. I'd known her in the most intimate way, and yet, I didn't know her at all. We would strictly have sex, and then leave, promising to meet up the next day. I was enjoying it, but how long would it last? Would she get tired of me? Would I get fed up of not knowing her more? These questions were always prevalent in my mind, but I pushed them aside every time I would see her. Because all that really mattered was that she was finally with me, and I didn't want to ruin it.

When November hit, I was becoming even happier than I was before. Mainly because I was turning eighteen and that would mean—trust fund. I could use it anyway I wanted. Of course, my dad kept cryptically lecturing me that I needed to save it or whatever. I still had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to use it, but for what, I didn't know. It was going to be there, available to me, and that was good enough for now. Another thing that was great about my birthday was that my mom had somehow managed to get my dad to release me from my prison, so to speak. I was free, effectively starting on my birthday. This meant that my friends wanted to go hog wild in planning my birthday. Alice wanted to do a party, and I quickly shut down that idea. No, I wanted something small with no hassle. Rose suggested all of us going to Port Angeles, and I had to agree.

I hadn't told Bella it was my birthday. I didn't think she wanted to know, to be honest. She barely told me about herself, so why should I? Okay, perhaps I was being a bit resentful about the whole thing, but I had a right to be…right? Well, it didn't matter, anyway, because my birthday was on a Sunday, so she wouldn't figure it out.

On the morning of my birthday, my mom woke me up with breakfast in bed, and I had to practically scramble because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she'd probably see my tattoo, which I was still trying desperately to keep hidden. She went a bit overboard and made me about three different types of dishes—pancakes, waffles, and French toast. When Jasper saw it all, my mom got angry with him because he tried to steal one of my waffles. By the time I finished, I was ridiculously full and almost sick to my stomach, which made my mom happy.

My dad was around, so he and my mom gave me my gift early-a new MacBook Pro. Dad also got me a pair of skis, which was the most bizarre gift ever. I really didn't know what to say when he gave them to me, but my mom was shooting me some sort of stink eye to be grateful, so I nodded and said thanks. He replied with a swift pat on the back before he retreated into his den for whatever reason. It wasn't like I didn't know how to ski, but I had no use for them, really. However, they looked expensive, so I tried not to complain.

In the afternoon, my friends came over so that we could all head over to Port Angeles for the day. They all gave me their gifts one by one. Alice got me some sort of white thermal shirt that looked incredibly tight, saying that girls liked seeing guys in them. I definitely didn't complain about that, hoping to possibly save it for when Bella could see it. Rose got me _Heroes _on DVD, and I loved that. Jasper and Emmett combined their gift for some reason and bought me some mystery item that I wasn't allowed to open until later on. And Tanya said she wanted to give me my gift in private, so we went into the kitchen while the others talked amongst themselves for a bit.

She shifted on her feet as she handed me a blue gift bag with white tissue paper. I reached inside and pulled out the gift. When I saw what she got me, I laughed that she remembered.

"I know you always said you wanted sea monkeys, and I found this at a pet store, oddly enough," she admitted. "There were all these different tanks for them, but I thought they're not going to care, anyway. I mean…they're little tiny specks practically."

I chuckled. "You're right. Thanks," I said, and pulled her into a hug based out of habit. She fisted my shirt, and nuzzled her face into my chest. I could tell she was starting to linger a bit, so I quickly pulled away and cleared my throat. "I'll let Jasper help me out with this. He'll love it." She nodded, but didn't say anything. It was a bit awkward, so I decided we should go back out. "Let's go. They're probably wanting to head out now."

X-X-X-X

"That was awful," Alice said.

"What do you mean? That was sick!" Jasper exclaimed.

"If by _awful_ you mean completely _awesome_, then you're right," Emmett chimed in.

"I don't know how anyone can stomach sitting through that," Rose said.

We'd just come out of the movie theaters where we watched _Saw 3D._The girls all hated it while us guys liked it. The girls were acting as if they'd never seen anything more gruesome, when I knew for a fact that they'd gone to see all the other _Saw_ movies.

"Either you like it or you don't, I guess," I commented.

"Well, I don't," Tanya said.

"How could you even say that when you always cover your eyes during scary movies?" I retorted.

"I watch through my fingers, okay?" she huffed, and I rolled my eyes.

It was starting to get dark, so we debated whether or not we should head back to the house. Emmett wanted to order a pizza and watch more movies, and we all agreed on that. Just as we started making our way back to our cars, Emmett suddenly nudged me discreetly.

"Hey, what's Bella Swan doing here?" he asked us.

I whipped my head at the speed of light and saw Bella walking out of a nearby bookstore. I swallowed thickly in nervousness and excitement.

"Oh great," Rose groaned. "And wow, she decided to skip out on wearing the black on black."

Bella had on a simple blue T-shirt and a denim skirt on, which made my face color in arousal. I loved it when she wore skirts. Her legs were amazing. There were a few times where I'd held onto them while driving deeply into her...

"She's way hot, don't you think?" Emmett whispered to me, and then nudged me again.

I shot him a death glare. I wished he would stop fucking talking about her like that. Actually, I wished everyone would just goddamn leave her the hell alone.

"She probably got her clothes at Walmart," Alice sneered.

"I think even Walmart is too expensive for her," Rose countered.

My blood was beginning to boil, and I had to fight like hell not to tell them both to fuck off. Luckily, Emmett cleared his throat and changed the subject, saying we should get some junk food.

I noticed Bella lingering outside the bookstore, looking around, and I wanted desperately to go over to her. "I'll do it," I offered.

"You're gonna pick up some snacks?" Emmett questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah. I need to fill up my gas tank, too, so I'll just get it on the way," I offered, lying my ass off.

"I'll come with you," Tanya suggested hastily. "I'm sure you'll need a hand."

"Uhhh…" I fumbled, but before I could try to even think of a reply, Emmett cut in.

"He'll be fine, Tanya. You can come with Rose and me," he said, and then snickered. "I'm sure Rose likes threesomes."

"You're sick, Em. But, yeah, come with us," Rose said to Tanya, who was looking hesitant.

Emmett gave me a knowing smirk before they all left for their cars.

Ass.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Though, I probably should've been grateful, because as soon as they were completely out of sight, I began walking towards the bookstore. However, I stopped abruptly when I noticed that Bella was no longer standing there. I frantically looked around, trying to spot her long, dark hair, her creamy legs, anything of hers, really.

Walking down about half a block, I kept my eye open for her. A frown began to play at my lips when I realized that she might've gone home or something. With a sigh, I turned back around and started to walk towards the direction of my car, until I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I spun around and smiled when I saw Bella standing there with her arms crossed in front of her. Wasting no time at all, I grabbed her wrist and tugged her into a nearby alleyway, then pushed her up against the wall. I pressed my arousal into her heat. God…all I had to fucking do was look at her and she turned me on.

"Well, hello to you, too," Bella breathed as she ground her hips against mine.

I inhaled sharply. "You know, when you do things like that, it makes it very hard for me not to take you right this second," I warned, and towered over her by placing my palms against the brick wall on either side of her head.

"So, what's stopping you?" she questioned, sliding her hands up my chest.

I looked around briefly, before my eyes fell back on hers. "The fact that we're in an alleyway," I remarked with a chuckle.

She rolled her eyes. "Right, I forgot I'm dealing with Richie, here," she said with a smirk.

I flared my nostrils and pressed my body against hers, my lips hovering by her ear. "Wanna take that back?" I warned in a whisper.

"No," she replied quietly.

I nuzzled my nose against the shell of her ear and she shivered. "You're infuriating, you know that?" She gently pushed me away, and I frowned. Her expression turned scathing suddenly, and I reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What's wrong?"

"Happy fucking birthday, you dickhead," she spat angrily.

My eyes went wide. How the hell did she find that out? She was giving me a scornful leer, and I just about shrunk back. "Uhh, how do you know-?" I began to question before she promptly cut me off.

"It doesn't fucking matter," she said with an exasperated sigh.

"Are you actually upset I didn't tell you?" I questioned.

"A little goddamn heads up would've been nice," she grumbled.

I raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you tell me things about yourself, you know," I said, trying to get a reaction out of her.

She glared at me. "Well, I got you something, asshole," she huffed.

I knew she was avoiding what I said, but a smile crept up on my lips, nonetheless. "Oh, yeah? What did you get?"

She rolled her eyes, and then smiled mischievously. "It's hidden."

"_Hidden_?" I inquired. "Where, exactly?"

Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and placed it directly over her heat. My eyebrows shot up when I felt something hard and lumpy there. I didn't think this was normal…

"What the hell?" I questioned with a nervous laugh. "What is that?"

"Why don't you reach in and find out for yourself?" she egged on, a wicked gleam in her eye.

I decided to play her little game, because honestly, would I really turn down the opportunity to reach up Bella's skirt? So, I did just that, snaking my fingers inside her panties and trying not to get distracted by the feel of her moist center beneath my fingers. She squirmed a bit, which caused me to involuntarily groan. I finally found the object that she'd stored away in her panties. Reluctantly, I pulled my hand out and observed what I'd collected.

"A pack of cigarettes?" I asked curiously.

She patted me on the shoulder as if I was a toddler. "You're very own," she said, and reached into her back pocket, pulling out her lighter. "Come on, we'll fire one up." She took the pack away from me and grabbed a cigarette out, then lit it and took a drag. As she blew the smoke out, she passed it to me, and I took it without a second thought.

"Okay, I have to ask," I started, and paused as I took a quick puff and released the smoke to the side. I was starting to really become fond of the smoky scent. "Why were they in your panties?"

She shrugged. "I nicked them," she admitted.

I looked at her incredulously. "You what?"

"They were too fucking expensive, so I stole them," she said, and grinned. She grabbed the cigarette away from me and took a long drag before eyeing me closely. "Is that okay, Richie? I mean, it's a free pack of cigs. What's to complain about?"

A while back, knowing that Bella had stolen something, I probably would've looked down on her. Stealing stuff was unnecessary and wrong. But honestly, I didn't mind it now. I was finding out quickly that anything Bella did, I almost envied. Not in a malicious way, of course, but I admired how carefree she was about life. She didn't give a damn what she did or what people thought of her. Spending time with her was allowing me to get what I wanted in a way, which was to be spontaneous and do what _I_ wanted rather than what others expected of me.

She blew two perfect smoke rings in my face and I batted them away. "It's the thought that counts," I assured.

"Well, then, if that's true, I'm gonna show you part two of your gift," she said, and slipped the pack of cigarettes into my back pocket. She ducked under my arm and moved around me, pulling my shirt along as she dragged me out of the alley way.

Five minutes later, she'd taken me into some sort of second hand clothing store. There were endless amount of used clothes on hangers around the shop. It was almost hard to move.

"Okay, why are we here?" I questioned her finally as she perused the aisles, looking intently.

"You dress like shit," she remarked, and pulled out a simple black shirt off a hanger.

I was slightly offended. "You're buying me clothes?"

She chuckled. "No, _you're_ buying yourself clothes," she corrected, and moved further down the aisle.

"Wait," I started, "so I'm buying myself clothing as a gift from you?"

She cast me a quick smirk before she began looking through a stack of jeans. "I'm giving you the gift of not looking like a fucking momma's boy."

I raised an eyebrow and glanced down at my clothes I currently had on. "How are faded jeans and a sweater being a momma's boy?"

She groaned, and pulled out a pair of black jeans from the stack. "Fine. A preppy fucker. Same difference."

"Can I help you two out with anything?" a deep voice asked behind us. I turned around and saw some blond surfer looking guy that obviously worked here. He wasn't even looking at me; in fact, his eyes were on Bella.

"No, we're good," I said sharply, hoping he got the message not to fucking stare at her.

"Actually," Bella said, unaware of his inappropriate leer, "do you have dressing rooms?"

The annoying surfer idiot placed his hand on Bella's back and began leading her over to a few changing rooms at the back of the store. I stared daggers into that fucking hand as I followed them. How dare he fucking touch her? I wanted so badly to rip his goddamn arm off and turn it into a fucking decoration for this shitty second hand shop. He unlocked the changing room and gestured for her to go in with a flirty smile. I quickly walked in after her and swung the door in his stupid face, shutting us inside.

"Alright, put this on," she instructed obliviously, and held out the jeans and shirt she'd picked out. I noticed her dodging her eyes a bit, which caused me to smirk.

I reached over my head and pulled my sweater off, leaving me in just my undershirt. It almost looked like she relaxed a bit. I took the shirt from her and fitted it over my body, then undid my jeans. Again, her eyes shifted.

"It's nothing you haven't seen, Bella," I noted. Honestly, it was odd that I felt so comfortable with her, but I just did. I couldn't even explain it.

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled. "Just hurry up." I rolled my eyes and took the black jeans from her, then tugged them on. She analyzed me for a moment, pursing her lips, then suddenly reached up and tousled my hair with a smile. "Yeah, this is fucking hot. You're definitely getting this."

A thrill ran through me at her words, and I gazed at my reflection in the full length mirror. I looked…different. Not myself. But I hadn't felt like myself for a while. This wasn't bad at all, and Bella seemed to like it. She began to walk over to the door, but I quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her back. She lifted a brow and I reached up to caress her soft cheek with the back of my knuckles. The feeling of having her here with me, especially on my birthday, was something I wanted to remember forever. Her eyes fluttered closed and I watched as her cheeks flushed slightly. I pushed my fingers into her soft hair and brought her closer to me. Her eyes snapped open and she stared intently into mine, her pools glistening with unspoken emotions.

"Kiss me," I spoke softly. Her face fell instantly, and she dropped her eyes. I knew her answer. My heart panged in yearning. "Why not?" My voice was quiet, pleading, betraying my need for her.

"I can't," she answered in a whisper.

My eyes darted around her perfect face, taking in every detail. "It's my birthday…"

Her expression changed, appearing sullen almost. She stepped even closer to me, our bodies molding together, and wound her fingers into my hair slowly. My breathing began to pick up as she stood on her tiptoes and leaned her face closer to mine. I watched her full lips, nearing my own. She was going to kiss me. But just when our lips almost touched, she shifted and lightly kissed the corner of my mouth, then peppered small pecks along my jaw and to my neck. Even though this wasn't what I meant originally, I still couldn't find it in me to tell her to stop. She hadn't done this before. It was new and caused my entire body to tingle. Her tongue darted out at the hollow beneath my ear, and she gently traced a circle.

"Ah, Bella," I whisper-moaned and dropped my hands to her small waist.

She pushed me a little and the backs of my knees came into contact with a chair, which caused me to sit. Within a flash, she straddled me and leaned in again to my neck, sucking the skin into her hot mouth.

"Fuck…you're driving me crazy," I groaned, and dug my fingers into her waist as I pushed my erection into her.

Her teeth scraped along my neck and she began to move above me, gyrating her hips slowly. The friction she was creating felt so goddamn good, and I found myself moving along with her. My hands wrapped around her ass and I pulled the back of her skirt up to feel the fabric of her panties. I took full advantage, rubbing my hands everywhere. Her movements began to speed up and she sucked on my neck harder, eliciting a strangled moan from me.

"Are we really going to do it in here?" I questioned, not able to stop myself from talking.

She ground her hips into me and I squeezed my eyes shut as a tightening sensation began to occur in the pit of my stomach. "You really need to shut up," she whispered in my ear harshly.

There was a sharp knock on the dressing room door, causing us both to whip our heads towards the sound and my arousal to instantly deflate.

"Everything okay in there?"

_Fuck! Stupid surfer freak! _

I was going to kick down the door and sucker punch him if he didn't leave us the hell alone right this fucking second.

"Yep, we're cool," Bella said loudly, and then turned back to me with a smile. "Are you gonna buy the clothes?"

I groaned, wanting her to go back to sucking on my neck. "Yeah," I agreed.

_Anything you want, Bella. _

X-X-X-X

The next morning, I woke up twenty minutes before school was supposed to start, completely exhausted. After I'd hung out with Bella yesterday, I went home and everyone was waiting for me impatiently, saying I took too long. Well, of course I took too long. I had to get the damn snacks, after all. They stayed until the girls were just about ready to crash. Alice had already passed out not even a quarter through watching _There Will Be Blood._ When they were just about to leave, Emmett and Jasper cornered me and told me to open my gift away from the girls. When I did, I was a mixture of shocked and embarrassed.

They'd gotten me _porn_.

The titles made my face flush as I read them—_Lez-Mania_, _Big Boob Orgy_, and _I'm Young, Dumb, & Thirsty For Cum_. There was also a _Seinfeld_ XXX parody slipped in there, but Emmett snatched that and said that was his. I'd never been a porn watcher, so this was a bit awkward, but they said I was eighteen now and had to watch it—that it was my rightful duty as a man.

Now, I had less than fifteen minutes until school, and the only motivation I had for actually getting out of bed was the fact that I'd get to see_ her_. I did my normal daily routine as fast as I could and then went into my closet. The bag of clothes I'd bought yesterday was set by the closet door and I debated whether I should wear it. A part of me was extremely hesitant. It wasn't my style at all, but another part wanted Bella to have the same reaction as she had yesterday when she saw me in the clothes. She'd also told me to get some motorcycle leather jacket along with the outfit.

Deciding I didn't care what people thought, I threw on the outfit along with the leather jacket. I couldn't believe this stuff was second hand. It seemed pretty much new. Who'd have thought that I'd be buying second hand clothes? Not me, that was for sure. I began to wonder if Bella shopped in second hand clothing stores a lot. I mean, we didn't _have_ to go to one; she'd just gone there automatically.

I grabbed my messenger bag and left my room, jogging down the steps into the kitchen. My mom was making a cup of coffee and I walked up behind her, kissing her on the cheek before opening the fridge.

"Hey, mom," I greeted.

"Hi, dear," she said automatically, concentrating on adding sugar to her coffee. "Had a good birthday?"

I took one of Jasper's yogurts out of the fridge and peeled the top. "Yeah, it was great."

"What'd your friends get you?" she questioned.

I cleared my throat, instantly thinking of the porn. "Just a shirt and some DVDs…you know…" I shut the refrigerator door and reached in a drawer for a spoon. At that moment, she did a double take as she stared, shell-shocked, at me.

"Edward," she gasped, and looked down my body. "What is this you're wearing?"

I looked down with a frown. "I got it yesterday in Port Angeles."

She blinked a few times and then shook her head minutely. "Is this what kids in your school like to wear these days?" she questioned.

I laughed and began eating the yogurt. "Not exactly," I answered.

There were loud thumping noises on the stairs and Jasper suddenly burst into the kitchen. "Morning, guys—whoaaaa…" he trailed off as he eyed me in shock. "Did I miss something? Is that for Spirit Week this week or something?"

"Edward bought a new outfit in Port Angeles," Mom divulged warily.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow. "I don't remember you buying that when we were there," he analyzed with his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

I shrugged it off, trying to act as casual as I could. "I got it after," I said, and tossed the barely eaten yogurt in the trash, then moved out of the kitchen.

I grabbed my keys off the hook and yelled out a quick bye to my mom before I went out to my car. Jasper wasn't too far behind, not saying a word, but I could tell he was looking at me.

When we got to school, everyone was dressed in bright colors and zany outfits. I groaned to myself. It was the start of Spirit Week before Homecoming, which meant that each day we had to dress up according to the theme. Today was Wacky Tacky day. Everyone looked like freaks, essentially. Of course, I stood out like a sore thumb because I was dressed in all black, but I didn't give a damn, not like I used to.

I could feel eyes staring at me as I got out of my Volvo. I threw my bag over my shoulder and leaned against my car as I waited for my friends to arrive. Rose's car pulled up first with Alice and Tanya hitching a ride. They stepped out, dressed in flamboyantly bright colors, and their eyes immediately landed on me.

"Uhh, what's with the leather jacket?" Rose questioned, her bright lime green top going beyond tacky, and nearly blinding me in the process.

"Nice to see you, too, Rose," I said sarcastically.

"Why are you dressed like that? Today's Wacky Tacky day," Alice remarked.

"Guess I missed the memo," I quipped.

Alice and Rose exchanged an odd look, and then walked off towards the school together. Tanya stayed back, her eyes raking over me.

"What?" I questioned, not liking being stared at.

"You look…different," she commented, and stepped right up to me. She ran her finger down the front of my leather jacket and bit her lip. "I like this."

A loud backfire echoed throughout the lot and I glanced towards the sound to see a beat up red truck burrowing into the lot. Bella was here. I tried to hide my smile as best as I could and looked back at Tanya. She was still staring at me with some sort of gleam in her eye.

"Alright, well, I'll see ya later," I said, basically letting her know that I needed her to go now.

She frowned and then took a step back. "Oh, right. Yeah…see ya," she murmured, and then quickly left, following after Rose and Alice.

I continued to lean against my car, watching as Bella's truck rolled into a space across the lot. As soon as she stepped out of the truck, and her brown pools landed on me, she froze. Her eyes roamed down my body slowly, and at that point, I couldn't help but smirk. She quickly looked away, threw her bag over her shoulder, and started towards the gym building. I raised an eyebrow, wondering why she was going there. When she disappeared around the side, I looked around briefly and noticed everyone was either in their own conversation bubbles or walking towards the school, so I decided to follow after her.

I neared the side of the building and just turned the corner when I was suddenly being slammed against the brick wall with soft lips attacking my neck.

"Bella, shit," I cursed, my pants growing extremely tight.

I wrapped my hands around the back of her thighs and lifted her. She wound her legs around my waist as I spun us around and sandwiched her between the wall and me.

"What if people see us?" I questioned, breathing heavily.

She pulled back from my neck and stared hungrily into my eyes. "What if I don't care?" she countered, and ground herself into my erection.

I grunted animalistically and brought my lips to her ear. "I guess I don't care, either," I whispered, and sucked her earlobe into my mouth, emitting a breathy sigh from her. She laced her fingers into my hair and tugged, causing me to press her even more against the wall. I wanted her so fucking much. I didn't give a damn who the hell saw, I'd fuck her right here against the goddamn wall.

I trailed my tongue down her neck and scraped my teeth along her smooth skin. She removed her hands from my hair and grasped onto my leather jacket for dear life.

"I'm guessing you like the outfit," I remarked, smirking against her neck.

"Fuck yes," she breathed. "I didn't think you'd actually wear it."

I chuckled and pulled back so my eyes were lined up with hers. "You wanted me to."

She arched an eyebrow, and was about to reply, but never got the chance.

"Holyyyyyy…" a voice nearby said, tapering off at the end.

We both turned our heads and saw Emmett standing a few feet away, gawking at us. Bella pushed against my chest and I pulled back, allowing her to shimmy down my body. I groaned when she unwrapped her long legs from around my waist and dropped her feet to the ground.

"Hey, Emmett," I greeted curtly, annoyed that he interrupted us.

"Hey, yourself," he said smugly, and crossed his beefy arms over his chest.

Bella glanced at me cautiously, and I shook my head, letting her know it was fine. She rolled her eyes and reached down to her backpack which had been tossed carelessly on the ground.

"Hi, Bella," he greeted with a flirtatious smile, and I wanted to groan. I noticed he was wearing extremely loud yellow and blue Nike tennis shoes, but the rest of his outfit was how he normally dressed with jeans and a casual shirt.

Bella took out a cigarette from her backpack and lit it, then took a drag. She didn't respond immediately to Emmett as she stared him down. "Nice kicks," she said dryly, smoke tumbling from her mouth.

He glanced down at his shoes shyly. "Thanks. They're for Wacky Tacky day."

She pressed her lips together, and it almost looked like she was suppressing a laugh. "Right," she responded, and passed the cigarette to me. I took it and brought it to my lips, taking a generous puff before tapping the residue ash and passing it back to her.

"You smoke?" Emmett questioned me with a furrowed brow.

I shrugged. "Sometimes," I replied.

"Well, I gotta jam," Bella suddenly announced. She was leaving? Why? If she was going just because of Emmett, then I'd kill him.

"Bye, Bella," Emmett said low and seductively while casting me a quick smirk. I was going to bash his face in if he didn't stop that.

Bella grabbed her bag off the ground and gave me the same familiar look she'd give me after we'd meet in the art room at lunch. It meant that she wanted to meet there later. I nodded reluctantly, not wanting her to go. She made a dash to the bushes nearby without so much as a backwards glance.

"Oh man!" Emmett exclaimed once she was gone. "Dude, that was…" He chuckled. "She's so hot!"

"Shut up, Emmett," I barked, pissed that he was thinking about her like that.

He merely laughed. "You two were like…" He shook his head, smiling. "You were like all over each other when I came around the corner. That was _intense_. Are you two dating?"

My eyes went wide and I almost choked on air. "No," I answered quietly, getting lost in my own thoughts. What_ were_ we doing? Obviously we weren't dating, because if we were…well, we wouldn't be hiding so much, would we? But something she said earlier was throwing me off now. She'd said that she didn't care if people saw us. Did that mean she wasn't with Black anymore?

"So, you guys are just screwing?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why are you here?"

He gave me an amused look. "We walk to homeroom together every day. Did you forget?"

"Oh, right," I muttered, but eyed the bushes. If I ever wanted to anything right now, it would be to go after her. The last place I felt like going was school. Resigned that I'd see her later, anyway, I followed Emmett to class.

X-X-X-X

Homeroom went by quickly and I began to gather my things to head over to my next class. I told Emmett I'd see him later, and then walked towards the door.

"Eddie," I heard behind me, and I turned, seeing Tanya quickly grabbing her things and walking over to me. "Walk me to Chemistry?" She cleared her throat. "I mean, we're in the same class and all."

"Yeah, no problem," I replied casually with a shrug, and walked out of the classroom.

We walked side by side down the hall. She was going kind of slow, which was annoying. As we passed people, they would stare at me as if they'd never seen me before. It was a bit unsettling, to be honest.

"So, there's something I wanted to talk about," Tanya spoke suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"Umm," she started, looking nervous, "well, I don't know if you remember, but at the beginning of the year, we said we'd go to Homecoming with each other."

I stopped walking. Shit…I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about that. Actually, I hadn't even remembered it was Homecoming at the end of this week. What the hell was I going to do? I'd been looking forward to it at the beginning of the year, but now, it was the last thing I wanted to do—to hang out at a stupid dance. And the worst part was that Tanya probably expected me to go with her, even though we broke up. Fuck. My thoughts drifted, wondering if Bella would go to the dance. If she were there, I'd want to go. I'd have her small body pressed against mine while we danced to a slow song, and she'd wind her arms around my neck, holding me tight. Would she go if I asked her?

"Edward?" Tanya asked, breaking me out my thoughts.

_Shit…forgot about Tanya. _

"Uh, well…" I trailed off, not knowing how to respond.

She looked down solemnly. "I mean, if you don't want to go with me, I understand. I know we agreed on it when we were still together, and now…"

I scratched the back of my neck. My parents and my friends would expect me to go with her. I hadn't told them we'd broken up, and by the looks of things, I didn't think Tanya had, either.

"Did you tell your parents we broke up?" I questioned, voicing my thoughts.

She shook her head. "Um, no…uh…my parents think I'm going to Homecoming with you," she admitted. "So do Alice and Rose."

I didn't really want to go with her if I could avoid it, but if she hadn't told anyone, then it might be a problem. Our parents still thought we were together and when they found out we weren't, they'd probably be really upset. My mom might be okay with it, but I knew my dad wouldn't since he and Mr. Denali were good friends and expected a lot out of the both of us.

The first bell rang for class, which meant we were going to be late.

"We'll talk about it later," Tanya said, and I sighed as we made our way to class.

The first half of school passed by and soon it was time for lunch. As usual, I walked down to the art room and slipped inside, making sure to lock the door after me. Bella had gotten me a master key, too. I swear; I had no idea how she got this stuff, but I sure as hell wasn't complaining.

She was perched on a desk, as she always was, and smirked at me as I came in. I didn't waste any time and took large steps over to her. My heart sped up as I enveloped her in my arms and began kissing a path from her neck up to her jaw. She whimpered quietly and wrapped her arms around my back. When I realized how close I was to her lips, I slowed down my furious kissing and placed brief pecks, inching closer to her mouth. Her breathing slowed, blowing warmth in my ear as she exhaled. My lips tingled with the need to feel hers. I was so close…right at the corner of her mouth. Just one more inch over and I'd be right there…

"Richie," she warned breathlessly. I stopped my movement, and then pulled back dejectedly. I thought I could handle not being able to kiss her, but it was getting to me more and more. I craved the intimacy with her. Would she ever let me? If we were dating, this might not be a problem. What if I asked her on a date? Would she say yes? Maybe she'd go to Homecoming with me…

"What are you doing this Friday?" I asked in anticipation.

She gave me a curious expression. "Why?" she asked, suspicion laced in her tone.

'Well," I started, "you know Homecoming is this Friday, right?"

She snorted. "Yeah. Bunch of preppy shitheads dancing around like retards."

I chuckled nervously and looked down. Most of those people I talked to regularly…or used to. "I guess…but are you going?" I questioned, and lifted my eyes to hers, watching her closely.

Her face fell instantly and her eyes shifted away. "No."

So, that meant no one had asked her. I braced myself, filling my head with positive thoughts that she'd go with me. "Maybe we could go together…"

She sighed and hopped off the desk, then put some distance between us. "No," she replied.

My heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach in rejection. She didn't want to go with me. "No?" I questioned, as if wanting confirmation because I was clearly a masochist.

"I don't do that shit, Richie. I thought you would've known this by now," she said, a hint of anger in her tone.

My sullen mood began to turn into aggravation. "You say I should've known, but you never tell me anything about you, so how should I have known?" I fired at her.

She groaned and threw her hands up in the air as she spun around, making her way towards the door. "Forget this shit," she muttered.

Before she got too far, I quickly grabbed her arm and yanked her back to me, pressing her body against mine. "What the hell are we, Bella?" I asked. I had to know. I didn't think I could stand just being someone she screwed around with.

"Richie," she threatened, trying to pull away from me, but I kept her firmly against me.

"No. Tell me."

She stopped her movements and flashed her eyes away. "We're buddies," she answered.

"_Buddies_?" I asked incredulously. I wanted to laugh. "We're buddies after all that we've done together? After what we continue to do almost every day?"

Her expression turned scathing. "You were the one throwing that fucking buddies crap at me from the start. I didn't want to be that, but you practically jammed it down my fucking throat!"

"So, then, what did you want to even be?" I questioned, my tone raising.

"Nothing!" she yelled. "I didn't want to be a goddamn thing! I wanted you to hang out with your snooty friends and to leave me the fuck alone!" She yanked herself out of my hold and I let her.

My blood boiled and my fists clenched. I was fucking right! She just wanted to use me for a quick fuck. I was her fucking toy. Well, screw that shit.

I moved around her and quickly walked to the door, my head swimming in fury. I unlocked the door, pushed it open forcefully, and it slammed against the wall, echoing loudly throughout the hallway. Making my way down the hall, I hoped no one got in my fucking way because they would seriously regret it. When I reached the cafeteria, I burst through the lunchroom doors and my eyes zeroed in on only one person. I walked up to her as she sat at a lunch table, laughing and talking, and I bent down close to her ear.

"What time can I pick you up Friday?"

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**A/N: **

**Don't kill me too much. Edward's new look is on my profile. Better get used to it...  
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**Teasers if you review. Thanks for reading!**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **

**Beta is Lindz26 and my pre-reader is Renas40. Thank you to both for sticking with me.

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**

_**WARNING: Like I said in the first chapter, this story contains offensive language, **__**substance abuse, sexual content**__, __**and other unfortunate behavior that might make you highly upset.

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**_

Today was the day that everyone seemed to be looking forward to…except me.

All week long, I had to put up with everyone wearing stupid themed outfits, the hype of rallies, who was going with who to the dance, and then, of course, the talk of possible candidates for Homecoming King and Queen.

I didn't give a fuck.

I was just going because…well, I was pissed at Bella. She'd used me and I refused to put up with that shit. So, I was going to go and forget about her. She wanted to be _nothing_; we were going to be nothing.

The entire week, I had to sit through cooking class while she was behind me. I was grateful we didn't cook all week long, because I didn't think I could take standing next to her at the counter, knowing that I actually_ didn't_ want to be nothing. But I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be with her. I just knew I wanted to be something other than just nothing.

Her words ran over and over in my head every evening before I went to bed and I found myself having trouble sleeping. I'd stay up hours just thinking about how I missed being with her in the art room. Every time I'd pass by the classroom during the day, my body would instantly react. I half wondered if people had the slightest inkling what we'd been up to in there…before she said we were nothing.

School was just about over and all I wanted to do was go home and crash before I had to go out tonight and force myself to have a good time.

When the bell rang, I stayed back in AP Government to talk to my teacher. We'd all gotten our report cards and my grades had slipped a fraction. I knew it was a mistake. There was no way I was getting anything below A's in all my classes. But when my teacher told me that the fucking B was mine, I was furious. How dare they say that that was my grade? I was even getting a goddamn A in fucking Cooking—a low A, mind you—but a fucking B in AP Government? That shit was the easiest class I had. Fucking Emmett was in it with me and he was getting a higher grade than I was.

My teacher was getting pissed at me and, frankly, I was going to lose my shit, so I reminded myself to go see Principal Banner first thing on Monday. I had to fix this bullshit soon or else my father would see and have a cow.

After I went to my locker, I walked down the empty hallway towards the parking lot doors. When I went outside, there were only a few cars and people. I reached in my bag and took out my keys, but when the entire length of my car came into view, I had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing correctly.

Bella was perched casually on the hood of my car, one foot drawn up while the other dangled freely. She had her hands propped behind her, her chest more defined, and a light breeze blew her hair gently. As always, the sight of her caused a reaction in me that no one else could evoke, but the fact that she was on my car, when she'd made it blatantly obvious what I was to her, was baffling. She was trying to screw with my head, I was sure of it. Why else would she be here?

I ignored her, or tried to, and opened the backseat of my car to toss my bag in. Once I shut it, I moved to the driver's door and opened a bit more roughly than I'd meant to.

"When there's a chick sitting on your precious car, you don't fucking ignore her," Bella said, her voice ringing in my ears and causing me to stop all movement.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I started sarcastically, "I wasn't aware that someone that's _nothing_ to the girl sitting on my car should give her their attention."

She narrowed her eyes and hopped off the hood. My grasp on the car door tightened as she made her way directly to me. "I'm not gonna tell you I regret saying what I said, because I don't," she admitted, and that was enough for me. I turned away from her and made to get in the car, but she quickly grabbed my arm. "I wasn't fucking finished."

"Like I'm really going to stay after you said that."

"Fuck, Richie—" She stopped abruptly when she saw my eyebrow raised. I fucking hated when she called me that. "_Edward_, whatever. You don't understand what you're asking of me. You don't know me at all. And even if you did, you would regret…" she trailed off, and her dark eyes widened.

"What would I regret?" I asked.

A determined expression crossed her face, and then she suddenly sighed, defeated. "You remember where the shack is?"

I nodded slowly in suspicion, unsure of what she was getting at.

"That's where I'll be tonight," she finished, looking at me expectantly.

"And…?" I questioned, confused.

She rolled her eyes. "That's a fucking invitation."

She was asking me to join her at the shack tonight? Maybe last week I wouldn't have hesitated to say yes, but she hadn't even denied that she didn't think of us as anything but sex. I wasn't going to put up with that in the least, so whatever she had in mind tonight, it would still mean that I was her toy.

"I'm going to the dance," I revealed, showing no emotion.

"Well, blow it off," she said with a casual shrug.

Everything was just so fucking simple with her, wasn't it? Blow the dance off. Steal cigarettes. Ditch school. She had it easy, but I didn't. I fucking had obligations. People expected me to be at that dance and I had to go, but for her, she could just "blow it off" without anyone giving a shit. No one expected her to do any goddamn thing. I wasn't sure if I hated her for that or envied the shit out of her.

"Tanya and I already planned on going at the beginning of the year," I said.

Her brow furrowed, and the relaxed expression she carried before turned to a mixture of agitation and anger. "Well, why the fuck did you ask me, then?" She shook her head and took a few steps back, not giving me a chance to respond. "Forget it. You go have a fucking fantastic preppy time. I could give two shits what you do and who you do it with."

She stormed off, and I half expected her to go towards the bushes, but she didn't. She disappeared around the side of the gym, leaving me in the same spot next to my car. I never knew what to make of her. One minute she wanted me to be with her at the shack, then the next she was telling me she didn't care what I did. Either way, just as she said, I would forget it.

X-X-X-X

I finished dressing, wearing a black dress shirt and black slacks, when Jasper knocked on my door and came inside.

"You ready to go?" he asked, dressed in a brown button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tan slacks. I eyed his shoes and arched an eyebrow.

"Converse at Homecoming?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

I snorted. "You realize who you're going to the dance with, right?"

"Alice won't mind."

"Do you not know her at all?" I asked.

He didn't respond for a moment, and then narrowed his eyes at me. "Do I know _you_ at all?"

Okay…someone was being a douche. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Never mind. Let's just go."

I scoffed. "No, now you obviously mean something, so let's have it," I demanded.

He uncrossed his arms. "Alright," he said sharply, and walked over to my desk. He opened the door and took out the pack of cigarettes Bella had gotten me. Shit. "This is what I mean."

I quickly snatched it, infuriated. _What the fuck_? "Have you been going through my shit?" I questioned, seething.

"I came in here looking for a pen earlier and I found_ that_. What's going on? You're smoking?" he queried incredulously.

"It's really none of your fucking business what I do," I barked. It wasn't like I'd smoked any of them. They'd just been sitting in my draw for the past week.

He looked at me as if I was crazy. "And since when do you cuss? Everyone I know cusses at least a little, but you rarely did. Now, you're smoking, cussing, wearing leather jackets. What the hell, man?"

I shoved the pack of cigarettes in my pocket. "Like I said—none of your business." And with that, I walked out of my room and went down the stairs. "I'm taking my own damn car," I called out to him, and grabbed my car keys off the hook.

Twenty minutes later, I was walking up to Tanya's door. When it opened, both she and Alice greeted me, fully dressed. Alice had on some sort of short, pink, strapless dress with a big, black bow in the front, while Tanya wore a deep blue one shoulder dress with complicated frills on the one strap. I would never understand women's clothing.

I cleared my throat. "You both looked great," I complimented as I remained on the threshold of Tanya's front door. "You ready to go, Tanya?"

"Wait," Alice spoke, "where's Jasper? I thought you were coming together."

I shrugged. "Change of plans." _Fuck that asshole._

"Well, I'm ready to go. Bye, Alice!" Tanya said in a rush and stepped out of the house towards me.

"Hold on!" Alice exclaimed, exasperated. "What am I supposed to do? Just stay here and wait for him?"

"You'll be fine," Tanya assured. "Just make sure to close the door when he comes." She looped her arm with mine and led me towards my Volvo.

"You look nice," I said, because she honestly did.

"Thanks," she replied happily, which was a change to how she'd been for a while now. "You look nice, too."

I opened the passenger side for her and she smiled up at me before settling herself inside. As I walked around to the driver's side, I blew out a breath of air.

It only took us ten minutes to make it to school, and the whole way over, Tanya talked about who she voted for Homecoming King and Queen, which were Rose and Emmett. She told me not to tell Alice because, apparently, Alice was hoping she'd win herself. I hadn't even bothered to vote, but if I had, I would've, without a doubt, voted for Emmett, but I wasn't sure if I would've voted for Rose. She'd most likely win, anyway, just based on how much she involved herself in the school. Actually, it was more like she forced herself on everyone. They would've instantly thought of her when they went to vote because she was fucking everywhere.

When we got there, the entire gym was decked out in stars—balloons in the shape of stars, star hangings, star light projections bouncing off the ceiling. It was Rose's idea to have the theme be "A Night Under the Stars." She definitely was making it clear what the theme was. Everything was a fucking star.

"Wow, this is something," Tanya said in awe as we made our way towards an empty table. She waited for me to grab a seat before taking the one next to mine and scooting close to me. I let her, mainly because I'd chosen to be with her tonight. Moving my chair away wouldn't have been the nicest thing to do, even though I had a reflex desire to.

The problem with being here was that it instantly made me think of Bella. I couldn't help but remember her reaction when I told her I was going to Homecoming with Tanya. I knew her enough by now to know that she always had some sort of affect when Tanya was ever mentioned. Though I wasn't able to figure out what exactly that meant, I knew that bringing up Tanya with Bella was a major button pusher. In general, Bella didn't exactly have a sweet disposition, but in those cases, she'd always get even more disgruntled than she usually was.

"Rose and Em are here," Tanya said quietly to me as if it was some secret.

Sure enough, they were headed over to us, holding hands. I withheld the need to look away. Seeing them together like that only made Bella pop into my head again, and I was trying hard not to think about her.

"Hey," Emmett greeted, and pulled out a seat for Rose before sitting in the chair next to me. "Just letting you know, the punch is spiked."

"What? How? Who did that?" Tanya questioned hurriedly.

"Mike and his band of idiot friends," Rose answered, scowling for a moment before her expression turned excited. "Do you like the decorations?"

I tried my best to suppress a groan.

Without saying anything, Jasper and Alice showed up. Both took seats quietly, appearing disgruntled. They weren't even looking at each other.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Tanya asked Alice.

She leaned towards Tanya. "He wore _Converse_," Alice said quietly.

I smirked to myself. What did I fucking tell him? Ass.

"I'm gonna go get some punch," Jasper grumbled, and stood.

"Should we tell him it's spiked?" Rose questioned.

"Nah," I said, smiling devilishly.

After a while, more people started to show up, and the dance floor became packed. Rose and Emmett had gone off to dance while Alice and Jasper were arguing quietly. Thankfully, the loud music allowed me to easily ignore them. Tanya kept looking over at me expectantly, and I knew why. I hadn't danced with her yet. I was here, wasn't that fucking enough? She wanted me to dance, obviously, but I really didn't want to do that shit.

A corny slow song came on and Alice and Jasper finally went to dance, apparently having resolved their Converse argument. I slid down further in my seat and watched all the couples on the dance floor.

Last week, the fantasy of dancing with Bella here made me happy, hopeful even, now it made me sick to even think about. I wanted to be here with her, but being here was clearly beneath her or some shit. Plus, we were _nothing_. Fuck. I hated that word.

"Did you want to dance?" I heard Tanya ask softly next to me.

I turned my head to look at her. She wore a timid expression. "I don't know…" I said honestly.

"Just one, at least," she reasoned.

I sighed in defeat. I could do just one. "Yeah, okay," I agreed.

We made our way over to the dance floor, Rose and Emmett dancing nearby, completely wrapped up in each other. I settled my hands on Tanya's hips, and a fleeting thought occurred as I pictured it was Bella's. She wound her hands around my neck and we gently began to sway to the music.

"Thanks for coming to the dance with me," Tanya said.

I nodded in reply, but didn't speak.

We stayed silent for nearly an entire minute. My eyes were becoming glassy as I stared into Tanya's bare shoulder. When she brought her hands to rest against my chest, I blinked, clearing my blurry eyes.

"Eddie," she started hesitantly, "I need to tell you something."

I furrowed my brow. "What?"

She sighed, as if gearing up. "We were together for a long time, but did you ever wonder if you were in love with me?" I stopped our movements, staring down at her, taken aback. "We never once said we loved each other. Not once."

Now thinking back, she was right. I'd never expressed any sort of love for her over the years we dated. I hadn't even noticed, to be honest.

She continued, "When I went to Italy, everything just…clicked in my head. I…" She looked away briefly before her eyes found mine again. "When I got back, I was confused. I wasn't sure if I loved you and it freaked me out. But I know now." She wrapped her arms around my back, bringing her body closer to mine. "I'm sure that I love you. It took that time when we broke up for me to realize it, and I'm sorry, but I do…I love you."

My mouth grew dry and my body went rigid. My eyes were wide and my stomach was beginning to churn.

"Say something," she demanded gently.

She was in love with me. _Tanya_ was in love with me. She was who I should be with, who everyone expected me to be with, but the idea of loving her…it just didn't seem right. It was like trying to force a triangle into a square. It didn't fit. We didn't fit. And now, looking back, it was weird that I never once questioned whether I loved her or not.

I retracted my arms from around her waist, breathing deeply. "I'm sorry, Tanya…" I spoke, hoping that was enough for her to get the idea.

She did get it as she dropped her hands to her sides. "I know, and I understand. But I do wish you felt the same way, because I'd really like to get back together," she admitted, her sad, blue eyes piercing into mine.

"Tan!" someone yelled out excitedly behind me.

Tanya's eyes widened as she looked around me. "Kate?" she questioned, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

I looked over my shoulder, seeing Kate with an arm around Eric Yorkie's waist. She was stumbling a bit, and Eric had a shit-eating grin on his face.

"I was invited," Kate practically yelled, as if the music was loud, but the slow song was still playing. She was definitely drunk.

"Oh God, Kate…did you drink the punch?" Tanya asked.

"Yep, she did," Eric said with a cocky smirk. "Do you want some more, Kate?"

"Yeah!" Kate exclaimed, and giggled. Eric didn't waste any time leaving.

Tanya grabbed Kate's arm, bringing her closer. "What are you doing with Eric Yorkie? I didn't even know you knew him."

Kate shrugged and removed herself out of Tanya's hold. "Our mom's hang out at the gym sometimes. Eric needed a date, so here I am."

"You should be careful with him," Tanya suggested. "He doesn't strike me as having your best interest at heart."

Kate scoffed. "It's not like I like him or anything." She glanced at me, finally realizing I was here. "Oh my God, Edward. You're here, too?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes," I answered.

She grinned widely and grabbed a hold of my hand. "We should dance. Let's dance."

Tanya detached Kate's hand from mine immediately. "You're drunk. You should go sit," Tanya instructed.

"Don't tell me what to do," Kate said haughtily, and grabbed my hand again.

"Kate," Tanya scolded, and removed her hand from mine once again. I instantly moved my hands so Kate couldn't reach them again. "Go sit down and stop hitting on my boyfriend."

My eyes turned to saucers. _What? _

"Your boyfriend?" Kate asked, looking confused as her eyes passed between Tanya and me. She pouted. "You know that I've liked him for like, ever!"

"I don't care if you've liked him," Tanya spat. "He's my boyfriend. Get over it."

Kate's nostrils flared. "What on Earth are you talking about? You said you two broke up."

I sighed. What the hell was going on?

"Can you keep your voice down," Tanya seethed in a low voice, glancing around frantically.

"No," Kate shouted, garnering the attention of people close by. "You don't deserve him, Tanya, and you know it."

Without any warning, Tanya shoved Kate, causing her to stumble back into an unsuspecting couple. Kate squealed loudly.

"Shut up, bitch!" Tanya growled, her expression contorting into sheer rage.

I remained still, my body refusing to move as I watched Tanya completely morph into someone I didn't recognize. My mind had stopped working, too, and all I could do was watch.

Kate bounced back, righting herself. "I can't believe you just did that, you piece of trash!" she yelled.

"Screw you, Kate. We're so done being friends," Tanya shot back.

"Oh yeah? Fine!" Kate said, and then her expression grew smug. "I'll just tell everyone here that you—"

Before Kate even got a chance to finish her sentence, Tanya lunged for her, grabbing her blonde hair and pulling hard. Kate screamed and grabbed at Tanya's arms to break herself free.

"I hate you!" Tanya yelled, knocking them both back as people started to gather around and watch them.

"Let go of me, you whore!" Kate spat.

"Oh shit!" I heard behind me, and before I knew it, Emmett had a hold of Tanya, hooking his arms around her waist from behind and lifting her away as she kicked in the air, trying to get to Kate again.

Everyone around was hooting and hollering, egging the fight on.

Kate's hair was a mess, and she quickly tried to fix it, stumbling and swaying a bit. "I can't wait for your stupid, perfect life to crumble," Kate yelled out, then looked at me scornfully. "She _cheated_ on you in Italy." With that, she stumbled away, disappearing completely.

The air completely left my body in a _whoosh_.

"Edward!" I heard Tanya exclaim in desperation nearby, and I turned to find tears streaking down her face. "She's lying—she…" A sudden loud sob completely overtook her and Emmett let her down finally. Tanya and I remained staring at each other for a few seconds before she squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm so sorry…" She walked off, out of my line of vision.

Emmett came and stood next to me cautiously. "Whoa," he uttered.

My brain felt like Jello; I couldn't seem to think properly. This night had already been shit, but it just got ten times worse in the span of ten minutes. How could that even fucking happen?

Tanya…had cheated? _In Italy?_

A part of me refused to believe that—the part that spent over three years in a relationship with her—but another part knew that she'd been acting weird when she got back. The idea that she'd done that was...I didn't even fucking know.

As the realization began to completely sink in, the fury building up inside me grew astronomically. She fucking cheated on me! How dare she? We'd been on the phone when she was in Italy, and the whole time, she was fucking…Hold on. Did that mean she had sex?

FUCK.

That. Fucking. _SLUT_.

I spun around and walked towards the gym doors leading outside.

"Where are you going?" I heard Emmett call out behind me.

I kept my feet moving in front of me, getting closer to the doors, but before I could reach it, someone blocked me.

Rose.

"What are you doing?" Rose questioned angrily.

"Leaving," I said through gritted teeth. _Move out of my fucking way, bitch._

"You need to take Tanya home," she ordered.

"Like fucking hell," I growled, my control slipping further and further away from me.

Rose flinched back slightly, but her stupid face went back to its usual scowl. "When the hell did you turn into a douche?"

"Babe," Emmett said, nearing us, "we'll take her home. Just let him go."

Rose kept a constant glare on me.

"If that's fucking settled," I spat, and moved around her to the door. I shoved it open, breathing in the shrill air. The heavy door slammed behind me, blocking out the stupid ass noise from inside. I reached inside my pocket for the pack of cigarettes I remembered I had there. I needed a distraction quick. But, fuck…I didn't have a lighter.

As if God fucking had a sense of humor, a swirl of smoke appeared not too far away. I tapped the pack against the palm of my hand as I neared it, a dark figure coming into view. When I was able to make out who it was, I was a bit hesitant, but my dry throat overruled it as my feet carried me over to a woman in a skimpy cheetah print dress and black stilettos.

"Well, well," Lauren said, looking amused as she took a drag of her cigarette. "The perfect Edward Cullen smokes. This is a surprise."

I refrained from rolling my eyes, and instead, took out a cigarette. "Got a light?"

She reached down her defined cleavage, smirking at me the entire time, and pulled out a solid silver lighter. I placed the cigarette between my lips and she took the initiative to light it for me. As I blew out the smoke, my body relaxed exponentially. All the anger, resentment, and over all shitty night I had was now dissipating as the smoke whirled around us.

"Quite a show in there," Lauren remarked.

Ignoring her, I looked around, and my eyes landed on the bushes that led to the woods. Taking another drag, my thoughts began to drift to Bella. She'd said earlier today that she was going to be at the shack tonight, which was essentially now. Was she there at this very moment? And to think, I could've been there instead of here. What the fuck was I thinking? I should've fucking took up her offer.

I was a goddamn idiot.

"What's over there?" Lauren asked curiously.

"Nothing," I muttered, and took one last puff before tossing it on the ground and stepping on it.

Without saying goodbye, I walked to the bushes, my body feeling more alive as I grew closer. The familiarity of walking through the bushes warmed me. It was an overpowering sense of rightness. This was where I should've been tonight, not at that fucking shitty dance.

When I got to the other side, the darkness of the woods shrouded my eyesight and the blaring music from the dance became muffled. Sticks snapped as I began to walk blindly. Last time, I remembered Bella used a lighter to see, even though she didn't need it. I made a mental note to get myself one as soon as I could.

I had to stop, not knowing where the fuck I was going, so I merely stood there, trying to look around, but only finding black nothingness. Attempting to take another step, a few sticks snapped, causing me to jump slightly. Fuck. Now I knew what a fucking blind person felt like. They at least had a cane or some shit.

Some twigs broke nearby that were definitely not from me. My eyes glanced around frantically as my body went stiff.

"Richie, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Shit," I choked, nearly wetting myself. Fuck, that was definitely Bella. I wasn't sure whether I was happy or nervous. A mixture of both, I guessed. "Bella, where are you?"

There was a sharp jab on my shoulder, and I winced at the slight pain. "Ow, what the hell?" I questioned.

"Answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"I don't know…"

She huffed. "Wrong fucking answer," she spat, and twigs breaking began to echo. She was leaving.

"Wait, wait," I said hurriedly, hoping she'd come back. "The dance was stupid. I left."

"That's what I fucking said from the beginning," she spoke, somehow much closer to me than before. "Well, you better go back to your snooty friends, Richie. They're probably waiting."

I groaned. "I'm not going back."

She laughed. "Right."

"I'm serious," I said truthfully. I wanted to tell her that I came to see her, that I tried my hardest not to think about her, but she'd managed to slip in through the cracks all night. However, I couldn't say any of this.

"Hmm," she hummed in thought for a moment, but didn't offer anything else.

I sighed. "Is the invitation still open?" I questioned hopefully.

Sticks split loudly, moving further and further away from me. Shit…she was leaving again.

"Are you coming or what?" she asked suddenly, her voice a distance away.

I discreetly smiled to myself, even though it was pitch black and she wouldn't be able to see, anyway. "I would if I could, but I can't," I said. "I can't see a damn thing."

She chuckled lightly, and I could hear her footsteps inching closer. My hand was suddenly being tugged and placed around a soft, warm arm. I tightened my hold around her and she began to walk. Fighting the urge to slide my hand down to grasp hold of hers, I continued following her. There was a deep chorus of laughter coming from somewhere straight ahead and I wondered if somehow we'd wound up back at the dance, but then a glowing orange light appeared.

I could see the outline of the shack, as well as candlelight emitting from the doorway and windows. More laughter sounded, echoing throughout the woods. There were_ people _inside there. Bella wasn't stopping, either; in fact, her footsteps quickened towards the structure.

"Who's in there?" I whispered to her.

"Shh," she replied quickly, tugging me along.

As we stepped right up to the shack, I felt extremely uncomfortable. My heart was racing and my head was telling me to get the fuck out of here, but all I could do was allow Bella to steer me right up to the doorway. I could finally see her face, illuminated by the soft candlelight, and she glanced at me, nudging her head to side, telling me silently to join her. I took a deep breath and followed her.

When I stood in the doorway and my eyes found six pairs of dark eyes staring back at me from inside, I had to fight the strong urge to take steps back out into the woods.

The inside of the shack looked almost how it did last time I was here with Bella, except for the fact that there weren't empty beer cans littered around as well as the fact that six less people occupied it. I recognized most of them generally from school, but I knew one by name. The dark, feral eyes that were glowering into mine belonged to none other than Black.

"The fuck?" Black asked sharply, breaking the silence of the room as he stared me down.

Bella casually sat on one of the available crates and glanced back at me before looking at Black. "Chill out," Bella said to him.

"_Chill out_?" Black questioned. "What the fuck is going on, bringing this faggot here?"

"Shut up, Jake," Bella snapped, and a patted an empty space next to her on the crate. "Sit, Richie."

Black shot right up, never taking his eyes off me. I could tell instantly, I was definitely not welcome here. And what was Bella thinking bringing me somewhere that had people that clearly hated my guts?

"Edward," Bella spoke, instantly causing my eyes to snap to hers. There was a pleading look behind her brown irises, and I found myself doing exactly what she wanted from me. I sat down directly next to her. "Guys, this is Edward. He's cool."

Two of the guys, and I noticed there was a girl, too, suddenly burst out into laughter.

"That shit you took earlier must've really gotten to you," one of the guys said to Bella.

"Fuck you," Bella said, and turned her attention to me. "These idiots are my friends." She began introducing them, going around the makeshift table. On the other side of her was Quil, who kept smiling oddly at me. Next to him was Embry, who was also smiling weirdly at me. Then there was Leah. Bella practically spat her name, and Leah scoffed. Next to her was Paul, who I instantly recognized from the bonfire. On his other side was Seth, and, of course, then there was Black, who was still standing, acting as if I were pariah.

When she finished, she grabbed some sort of paper and leaves off the table, which was when I noticed everything else on there. Besides the candles, there were cans of beer, a few bottles of hard liquor, and white powder formed in a couple lines.

Holy…fuck.

That was fucking cocaine and marijuana.

I tried not to fucking spaz out at the sight of it all. I knew Bella smoked, and I had an inkling that she might've done other things, but seeing the evidence in front of me was fucking different.

"Look at him looking at the fucking blow like it's seeing his pussy parents going to town," Quil said, and cracked up.

"Fuck off," Bella snapped, and reached behind her to her orange backpack. She unzipped it and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, even though there was already alcohol on the table. She unscrewed the cap, took a pull, and then passed it to me. I took a small, hesitant sip, trying not to feel overwhelmed with all the eyes on me. However, the burn of the whiskey helped to soothe my nerves.

"Stealing from him again?" Leah asked, an accusing tone to her voice, causing Bella to go slightly rigid next to me. I barely even knew her and I already didn't like her.

"He's too drunk as fuck to notice it's gone, anyway," I heard Bella mutter under her breath before she grabbed the whiskey away from me. She took another pull before setting it down to go back to rolling marijuana in paper. She seemed to know what she was doing, because she did it quickly, making it into a perfect joint. When she was done, she brought it up to her mouth, and her pink tongue darted out, licking the edge of the paper. I dropped my eyes, trying not to have a reaction to that. All I had to do was see that everyone was glaring at me and it worked like a charm.

"So, why did you bring fuckface here, and does he even talk?" Paul asked.

"He fucking talks, you idiot," Bella said. "If you guys would stop fucking making him shit in his pants, then maybe he'd talk."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm not shitting in my pants," I spoke finally, causing them to go silent again.

"How's the face?" Leah questioned me after a moment with a smirk.

Quil and Embry both laughed hysterically…though I wasn't sure what was so funny.

"What the fuck do you mean 'how's the face'?" Bella asked sharply, just as confused as I was.

Leah merely shrugged and opened a can of beer, not bothering to suppress a smug smile as she brought it up to her lips.

"Leah fucking kicked the shit out of him a while back," Embry revealed, snickering.

"What?" I asked, unsure if I heard him right.

Leah smacked Embry over the head, causing him to flinch. "Shut the hell up!" she yelled.

"Hold up," Bella said, abandoning her unlit joint. "What the fuck are you talking about?" She glanced at Seth, who was looking anywhere but her. "Seth?"

He groaned and folded his arms across his chest. "Fine. But it wasn't my idea. It was all her," Seth said.

Leah huffed. "You guys are all fucking retards," she grumbled.

"We cornered him at school and beat the shit out of him," Seth said with a shrug.

What the fuck? All I could do was listen to this shit. I cast a sideways glance at Black, who was smirking at me. I was so sure it'd been him, but now—Holy fuck…Those rumors that it had been a girl…had they seen Leah doing it? And Seth was involved, as well? I swore I only saw one pair of legs walking away from me after it was all over.

"Why would you do that?" Bella questioned, anger laced in her tone.

Seth and Leah both shrugged.

"They were trying to protect you," Quil uttered.

Leah reached over and smacked him over the head, causing Quil to groan in pain. "Fuck. You guys have bigger fucking mouths than Jessica Stanley," Leah spat.

Quil and Embry chuckled and said "nice" in unison.

"I'm sick of you all doing this shit. Knock it the fuck off. I'm fucking serious," Bella said forcefully. No one seemed to outwardly acknowledge what she said, though.

She went back to her joint and lit it by holding it to the flame of the candle set on the table. She brought it to her lips and took a quick puff before passing it to me. I eyed it warily, knowing that these were different to plain old cigarettes. Did I really want to take that kind of risk?

"It's just pot, Richie," Bella said reassuringly.

I nodded and took a drag, the back of my throat burning, but also soothing. I passed it back to her, and instead of keeping it for herself, she passed it to Quil. They each passed it to the person sitting next to them as they finished taking their share. When it got to Black, he shook his head, still keeping up his glare, and Seth gave the joint to me.

There wasn't too much talking going on. They seemed to just relax as they smoked and drank. I wasn't sure if this was normal that no one was saying anything or if it was because I was here. But in general, they stopped glowering at me as much, except for Black, who hadn't even moved an inch from his standing position since I took a seat.

Every now and then someone would speak. Quil brought up something about Jessica Stanley, which instantly sparked a conversation about Jessica screwing Principal Banner.

"What?" I choked out, the effects of the pot already starting to hit me, causing me to feel lightheaded.

Quil laughed. "He doesn't fucking know."

"Jessica's been fucking Principal Banner for two years now," Bella revealed.

I shook my head in disbelief. "No, that's not possible," I reasoned. Jessica was with Mike Newton, and Principal Banner was...well, old...And wasn't he married?

"It's the fucking truth," Embry affirmed, and took out a cell phone from his pocket. After he pressed a button, he passed it over to me.

The video was taken from an extremely high location looking down at a row of theater seats. Principal Banner showed up and immediately took a seat in one of the chairs. No more than a minute and a half later, Jessica Stanley showed up in her cheerleading outfit and wasted no time dropping to her knees in front of Principal Banner and…

"Shit," I cursed, my eyes widening, and I passed the phone back to Embry before I became scarred for life by the sight of Jessica going down on Principal Banner. "Why did you record that?"

Embry chuckled. "Blackmail, duh."

"How do you think we miss so much school?" Bella questioned with a sly smirk.

"Wait," I said, realization wafting over me, "you use that video to blackmail Principal Banner so you can skip classes?"

"Yep," Bella replied, sounding proud. "He lets us do whatever the fuck we want and we don't tell anyone what a sick fucker he is."

Was it weird that instead of thinking this was awful of them to do, I actually wished I was in on it?

"How the hell did you get so far up in the theater?" Paul questioned, taking hold of the joint as it came around to him.

"We were on the catwalk," Quil answered with a shrug.

"How the fuck do you know the name of that, loser?" Embry questioned, looking at him as if he sprouted two heads.

"Fuck you. I heard one of those theater geeks say it," Quil replied.

"You're both losers for even being in there," Bella observed, causing me to smile slightly.

"It's not like we fucking break out into Shakespeare," Embry said, rolling his eyes.

"Speak for yourself," Quil chimed in. "I'd break out into Shakespeare to get a blowjob from Jessica. That bitch can suck."

Leah took out a dollar bill from her pocket and rolled it up. Everyone else continued to talk about nothing in particular as she casually bent over the table and snorted a line of cocaine. When she was finished, she straightened up and caught me staring at her. She raised an eyebrow, and I quickly dodged my eyes. I'd never done any type of drugs before, so it was weird that I was here and not freaking out.

"So, how's that geeky freak?" Leah asked me, causing Bella to groan.

I observed Bella's reaction before looking back at Leah. "Who?" I questioned.

Leah rolled her eyes. "The chick who rammed her ugly car into that dipshit's Jeep…What the fuck's his name?"

I ignored her question about Emmett, not wanting to think about him at all. "Angela, you mean?" I questioned, and glanced at Bella who was fiddling with the whiskey bottle, appearing in her own world. "I don't know."

"Gotta hand it to Jake and Bella for shutting the bitch up," Embry said with a chuckle.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Bella sighed loudly. "We messed with her breaks," she admitted. I already figured this, but I didn't think Black was involved, too. But of course he was. Did he ever leave Bella alone? "Everyone fucking had a shit fit afterwards and she was all dramatic. How the fuck can someone pass out when you're backing into a car at fucking ten miles per hour. She's a stupid faker." Bella seemed to have a lot of hatred towards Angela, and I wasn't exactly sure why. Then again, I remembered a split moment where I hated her, too, when she'd told Jessica and Ben I was in Cooking.

"Same with that other ho. That blonde chick with the tiny tits," Quil said, snickering.

Bella snorted. "Yeah, Jane, too. Fucking loudmouths…"

The guys opened up another round of beers, and from all the empty cans scattered everywhere, I was surprised they weren't drunk right now; although, they seemed extremely relaxed. I wondered if that was the effects of the pot. They didn't offer me one, but Bella slid the almost empty bottle of whiskey towards me. Our eyes connected briefly before she quickly glanced somewhere next to me, and when I saw that she had looked at Black, who was still fuming quietly, I tried my best not to look at Bella again. Since when the fuck did I even give a shit? I hated Black.

"I fucked Lauren in the ass last weekend," Paul suddenly blurted, causing everyone to laugh, except me.

"You did not," Bella said.

"Woman! I fucking did. She was walking like a fucking penguin for days," Paul replied.

Bella rolled her eyes and took a swig of the whiskey.

"What about you, preppy?" Paul asked, and I noticed Bella sit up a bit straighter.

"What about me?" I questioned in reply.

"How many women have you fucked?"

I cleared my throat awkwardly and shifted a bit on the crate. They were waiting for an answer, and I knew it was most likely going to sound lame. "One," I spoke, trying my best not to look at Bella.

Quil and Embry broke out in hysterical guffaws, calling me a variety of names like "Mama's boy" and saying I must be allergic to "pussies." My face heated in agitation and I tried my best to keep myself under control.

"Who was it?" Paul asked. "That fucking hot ass slut, Tanya?"

I almost snorted in amusement, but Bella tensed up next to me. "That's fucking enough, guys," she barked.

"Why? Do you want her, too? I heard she's a fucking virgin." Paul let out a vulgar grunt. "I bet her pussy is nice and tight—"

"I said that's e-fucking-nough," Bella snapped loudly, and quickly stood. She began quickly picking up all the beer cans on the ground, and when she had an entire armful, she stormed out of the shack.

Not even a second later, Black followed her outside. My eyes narrowed, and I had to fight against my body not to go after her. What was wrong with her, and why the fuck was Black following her?

Paul chuckled. "I've upset the missus," he remarked.

I wondered now if Bella was perhaps ashamed or regretful that we had sex. Though she'd let me come here tonight, she hadn't exactly been her usual self. I was used to her smirking seductively at me, pressing her body against mine, causing my entire being to pulse in arousal. It just seemed like there was some sort of invisible line between us now that I wished would disappear.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing bringing someone like him here?" I heard Black ask outside.

"Shove off, Jake. I'm not in the mood," Bella growled in a quiet voice.

"Are you insane, Bella? Do you realize that asshat is with them?"

"He's not like them," she said, her tone angry. "He's different."

"Hold the fuck up…have you been—?"

"We can hear you!" Leah suddenly shouted.

"Fuck, Leah," Embry said. "I wanted to hear what they're saying."

I couldn't hear Black and Bella anymore, and I assumed they were gone. I wanted to fucking throttle Black. I wasn't sure what the fuck he was talking about with Bella, but whatever it was, she clearly was pissed off.

"Alright, I'm whipping this shit out," Quil announced, and pulled out a small plastic bag from his pocket with what looked like pills. He took them out of the bag and spread them out onto the table. They were all different colors and had little engravings in them.

"A fucking dove?" Embry asked, analyzing a white one. "This is fucking gay, Quil."

"You're fucking gay. It doesn't matter," Quil retorted, and then looked at me. "Pick one."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What are they?" I questioned.

Quil snorted. "They're E, obviously."

"E?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Just take one."

I glanced down at the pills, honestly having no idea what they were. Were they from a pharmacy? I didn't think pills there had pictures on it…well, unless you bought Flintstones Vitamin C tablets or something. Though I wasn't sure what exactly I'd be putting into my system, I didn't seem to care enough to stop myself. The small voice in the back of my brain was telling me to be cautious, to not be so impulsive, but I had an overpowering sense of actually wanting to fit in with these people that Bella hung out with, even though from time to time I'd made fun of them with my friends.

Noticing they all were looking at me expectantly, I picked out one that had a Superman symbol on it. I washed it down with the small remainder of the whiskey. I noticed they were chewing on theirs rather than swallowing with liquid, and I wondered if I did it wrong.

"Ah, fuck. I can't wait to roll," Embry said in a sigh.

It was then that I realized Black and Bella still hadn't come back. It was dark and Bella was out there somewhere. Was she okay? What were they doing?

"Holy fuck!" Quil exclaimed suddenly. "We've gotta do something wicked with preppy here."

What did he mean?

"Yeah…shit, I know. The cliff," Embry suggested.

"The cliff? What cliff?" I questioned.

"Let's go," he said with a smug smile, and everyone stood. Not wanting to look stupid, I stood, too, and followed them out.

We walked through the darkness for what felt like forever, and I was starting to feel a bit sick. My stomach was twisting and turning and everything seemed to grow louder in my ears as I trailed behind them. The wind blew against my skin, causing my body to jerk slightly at the heightened sensation.

The trees passed one by one, almost morphing into a single tree as they whipped by me each time. Leaves were brushing up against my skin, the soft moonlight was peeking in and out from behind the branches…

It was fucking beautiful.

I couldn't tell if my feet were actually moving, but I was pretty sure they were. How else could things be passing by me? Unless I was flying. That would be cool.

The smell of salt wafted through my senses, and I fucking loved it. I closed my eyes for a second. It smelled so fresh, so peaceful.

"Okay, you gotta jump the cliff, man."

The sudden voice made me realize I wasn't alone, and I opened my eyes. Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul, and Leah were huddled around me. They seemed really close to me and I had a sudden urge to step back in panic.

"What?" I questioned, forgetting what was said.

"Jump the cliff," Embry urged. "We've all fucking done it. It's awesome. Makes you feel like you're flying and shit."

I looked over my shoulder and saw the ocean. How did we get here from the shack? Either way, I felt better than I'd ever felt in my life and the idea of flying sounded amazing right now. I wanted to feel alive, free, as the wind swirled around me.

I was going to jump the cliff.

"You doing it?" Quil questioned, appearing excited.

"Fuck yeah," I answered, and began unbuttoning my shirt. Once I got it off, I threw it on the grassy ground and worked on taking off my pants next. My heart was pounding hard in my chest and my ears were ringing.

I slipped off my shoes and then my pants, leaving me in just my undershirt and briefs. As I stepped up to the end of the cliff, I looked down and saw the ocean beneath. It was relatively still, and I yearned to be down there, completely wet and floating through the water.

"Jump, man!" I heard Quil yell behind me.

I took a step even closer to the edge, and closed my eyes to take in the feel of the serene nature around me, but I was interrupted when I thought I could make out an angelic voice calling my name from behind me. Fluttering my eyes open, I glanced over my shoulder.

It _was_ an angel.

Bella…

"Edward!" she called, her perfect lips curving to form my name. I loved it when she called me Edward.

I smiled at her. She was so beautiful. So fucking unbelievably gorgeous. Her skin was glowing and her hypnotizing eyes were gleaming. I wanted to kiss her. I wished I could slip my tongue into her stunning mouth and feel the texture of her own tongue against mine. It would be wet…soft…

"Jump!" someone yelled nearby, but I couldn't make out who. I was too busy staring at Bella, who was far away, but making her way over to me.

Was she here to watch me jump?

The need to impress her, to make her see me differently was all I wanted since I met her. I wanted her to be mine, and if I did this, she would be. I was sure of it.

* * *

**A/N: **

**So, do you think he'll actually jump? **

**My bad about the cliffhanger. Not only was this a good stopping point, but I secretly wanted the chance to declare this as an actual cliffhanger, since he's on a cliff. Just joking. I just realized this coincidence as I wrote the author's note. **

**My posting schedule is going to change a bit. I was posting every Wednesday, but now I'm probably changing to Tuesdays to replace my other story that just finished. Tuesday always sits better with me. Don't ask me why. It's an OCD thing, I think. **

**If you review, you'll get a teaser for the next chapter. **

**Polyvore on the profile. **

**One last note, there's a thread for this story over at Twilighted. If enough people go over there, I'll start posting exclusive teasers over there as well as reveal tidbits about the story. If you're interested, the link is on my profile.  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: **

**Whoa. Major reaction last chapter. Will he jump; won't he jump? I guess you'll see this chapter. **

**Beta is Lindz26, pre-reader is Renas40. They are both awesome. A special thanks to my fictwin, Belindella, for pimping out this story in her author's note of Forgettable. Much love, B.

* * *

**

I was soaring, the wind howling around me, making my face tingle and my skin slightly prickle. The weightlessness I was experiencing was unlike any other sensation I'd ever felt.

It was exhilarating.

I was flying.

All thoughts that normally camped in my brain were gone. I couldn't remember anything about my father, about my cousin, not even about the girl I'd been trying to pursue.

None of it mattered right now.

It was just me and the sea breeze, intermingling into one earthly force.

I could barely make out my body colliding with a harsh, wet substance, but I couldn't see. Everything was white, and pure, and so fucking beautiful. Sounds were serene and I felt completely sheltered, protected. However, when I realized I couldn't breathe, I tried to inhale, only to become aware of my lungs being blocked. My natural instinct was to kick my legs and arms out, and I was certain I was doing that, but why did I feel so numb?

After a while, I gave up, and returned to the feeling of being blissed out, which was growing more and more by the second. I closed my eyes, my head feeling much lighter than before. It was wonderful, this feeling of just not caring about anything except simply _being_. My thoughts weren't centralized around anything specific, and it was such a change—a good change.

I could feel myself slipping further and further into somewhere tranquil, somewhere that was fully accepting of me, for who I was. It didn't scare me in the least; in fact, I felt welcomed.

Just as I grew close to reaching this beautiful, enigmatic paradise, my body jerked violently. I was suddenly acutely aware that something was moving me, and that was when I realized I really, _really_, couldn't breathe. It was becoming uncomfortable.

Life was starting to come back into my hands, my feet, my legs, and I didn't waste time in kicking as hard as I possibly could.

I abruptly collided with something, and I wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't hurt, and the best part was that I could now_ breathe_. I was choking, sputtering, and coughing as I opened my blurry eyes and noticed I was on all fours, hovering over dark sand, a gentle tide washing up against me and then retreating.

My energy was low, and I collapsed on the sand, unable to hold myself up.

Then it clicked.

I'd just jumped off a cliff. A fucking cliff! Holy shit…that had been me. I'd really fucking done it. That was…That was…_fuck_…It was the best feeling in the fucking world.

As I lay in the sand on my stomach, I could make out a shadowy figure making its way over to me through the darkness; however, I wasn't scared. Hell, if I could jump off a goddamn cliff, then who gave a shit about a mysterious figure?

The figure got closer and closer, and I was able to make the person out more, who was approaching extremely quickly. Were they running? I still couldn't tell who it was, and I should get up to see, but my body felt so limp and I didn't know why.

"Edward!" a feminine voice called in distress.

Was that…Bella?

"Bella," I choked, my body instantly coming alive. I attempted to pull myself up with my arms, but wasn't having any luck.

I could hear her voice, though I couldn't understand what she was saying because she was speaking so damn fast.

When she fully reached me, she grabbed onto one of my arms and tried to pull me up. I helped her out a bit, trying extra hard just to make myself stand. Finally, I was on my feet, but swaying a bit. It was weird because my mind was aware, but my body couldn't seem to function properly.

"Edward, look at me. Are you okay?" she asked, concern evident in her tone.

"I jumped," I stated proudly, but my voice was hoarse as hell and hurt my throat.

I noticed that her hands were pressed firmly against my chest, and if I had the strength, I would hold onto them. "You—" she started to say, but I cut her off.

"Did you see me?" I questioned.

God…I couldn't believe I actually did that. There was a time I never would've attempted to jump off a cliff. The adrenaline was pumping through me, and I felt like I could do anything now. That had been such a fucking rush.

She took a small step back, dropping her hands. Though it was dark, I could see her face. Her expression was twisted into a scowl. Was she angry? But I'd jumped!

"You fucking idiot!" she yelled loudly. "How could you do that? They tell you to jump and you just jump?"

As it was, my head was still feeling light, so I couldn't seem to respond back. I didn't understand why she was shouting at me. I'd done it for her. Only her. It was then that I noticed her eyes and cheeks were wet. Was she…crying?

Before I could figure it out, there was a sharp smack against my cheek, and my head flung to the side. I swayed violently, and rubbed my stubbled face that was now throbbing.

She'd just fucking slapped me.

I snapped my head forward to ask her why the fuck she did that, but she was gone. I looked over my shoulder and saw her quickly running down the shore away from me, and she eventually became a dark shadow in the distance.

"Holy shit, man!" a deep voice exclaimed somewhere around me. Turning, I saw Quil and Embry making their way over to me.

"That was fucking awesome!" Embry said excitedly.

I was starting to really feel like shit for some reason, and all I could focus on was the fact that Bella had just hit me and run off.

"I can't believe you did that," Quil said in awe. "And we were totally bullshitting you, too."

_What? _

"Yeah, none of us ever jumped off a cliff on E before," Embry revealed, chuckling, and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. "Well…except Bella. That chick is _hardcore_."

My eyes flickered up to the cliff and then back to the ocean. It easily looked like a one hundred foot drop.

I'd actually jumped that…

I didn't feel quite so pumped up about it anymore.

The full weight of the danger I'd risked came crashing down on me, and my body went numb again. My mind became blank and my hearing was muffled. Embry and Quil were talking to me, but I couldn't hear them, nor could I see them anymore as the ground slipped out from under me and everything became darker than it already was.

X-X-X-X

The next time I opened my eyes, I couldn't feel any breeze or hear the ocean's tide washing up on the shore. Everything was quiet. I was lying down on an orange sofa—a really uncomfortable orange sofa. As I looked around, I realized I was in an extremely tiny living room with practically no room to move around.

_Where the hell am I? _

A throat cleared somewhere behind my head and I quickly sat up, suddenly realizing I was just in my boxers and undershirt. There was a dark-skinned man in here, staring at me. He looked a little older than me, but not by too much.

"You've been passed out all night," he said, and handed me my clothes as he sat on the arm of the couch.

What was I going to do? I was in a strange place with a strange man. I was pretty sure I was in some sort of trailer home, just based off how small everything was.

"A piece of advice," he started, his voice strong and deep, "when Quil or Embry tell you to do something. _Don't_." My body relaxed at the mention of their names. He seemed to know them, so that was okay, right? He abruptly let out a laugh. "Though, I can't say I'm not impressed. You actually jumped off that cliff. We've all jumped off there one time or the other, but not on ecstasy."

Ecstasy? Huh? Wait…was that what I'd been on? Everything was coming back to me now, and I remembered feeling invincible and overwhelmingly calm.

"I was on ecstasy?" My voice sounded tired as I said my thoughts out loud. At the same time, I put on my rumpled up slacks and dress shirt back on.

He chuckled. "And don't take drugs without knowing what the hell they even are." _A bit fucking late now. _"I'm Sam, by the way."

There were footsteps drawing near, and I looked down the trailer to see someone familiar walking towards us. Leah.

"Oh, he's awake," she remarked dryly. She had a glass of water in her hand and gave it to me. "Drink this."

I took it hesitantly, but gulped it down, realizing I was thirsty as hell.

"That was some fucking jump," she said. "The guys won't stop talking about it. Even after you passed out like a little bitch."

"Leah," Sam scolded, which instantly caused her to huff as she walked over to a small table attached to the wall and sat on the only chair next to it. Sam took the glass from me once I was done. "You could've died, you know."

I really didn't think I would've died. It was a big jump, but I ended up okay in the end, didn't I?

Leah snorted. "He's right," she chimed in.

"Leah, you didn't even _try_ to stop him," he mentioned.

She sighed. "Well, I was fucked up. What can I say?"

Sam raised an eyebrow at her, and then turned his attention back to me. "You were lucky. I wouldn't do that again, if I were you."

An image of Bella running away from me flashed through my mind, and she suddenly became all I could think about. Where was she? Was she okay? I remembered her angry tears slipping down her cheeks and how she'd slapped me. Why had she done that?

"Is Bella here?" I questioned, and anxiously looked around.

"Easy there, sparky," Leah said. "She's not here."

"She lives with her dad," Sam revealed.

Her dad? Wasn't he the former Chief of Police? I couldn't even think of his name. However, I did know that he'd stopped being Chief several years back.

"Don't tell him that," Leah chastised quietly.

"He's going to find out, either way."

"Find out what?" I asked curiously.

"Just because _she_ wants him around all of a sudden, doesn't mean some of us do," Leah spat.

I could already tell she was talking about Bella, and that just pissed me off. What was with this girl?

"Look," Sam began sternly, his attention on me, "there are things about Bella that you'll probably end up finding out about, but just to set the record straight, _we protect her_. Just because you're friends with Bella now, doesn't mean you get off the hook if you do anything to her."

Why would he think I would do something to her? I could never hurt Bella. But that just worried me, because now I wondered why they had to protect her in the first place.

"Is she okay?" I questioned Sam.

He shrugged. "Haven't heard from her. But I think she's alright…for now."

"And that's all you get to know," Leah said firmly, standing up. "You can go."

Sam stood, too, and began to walk towards the front of the trailer. "Actually, I've gotta head down to the garage."

I felt disorientated, still unsure how I got here in the first place, but I stood, as well, and followed them both out of the trailer and outside into a secluded woodsy area. The trailer home was much smaller than I'd realized, and looked like it was practically falling apart. How could someone live in this thing?

"Do you live here?" I questioned.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Sam questioned, a bite to his tone.

"No," I said quickly, and turned away from the structure, my eyes instantly falling on a shiny black Mustang with two white racing stripes up the center. It looked a few decades old at least, but still in amazing condition. "This your car?"

"Yep," he answered, sounding proud. "It's a 1967 Shelby GT500. I picked it up at the junkyard when it was on its last leg. Did a bit of rebuilding, installed a 438 cobra jet engine I got cheap, and now it's good to go."

I was surprised that it didn't look like it had been picked up at a junkyard. It seemed like something you'd buy at a classic cars dealership.

"You did this yourself?" I asked in awe.

"Well, I had some of the guys down at the garage help me out, but pretty much, yeah."

"He's gonna sell it and make a fuckload of money," Leah chimed in with a smirk, and then grabbed onto Sam's shirt and pulled him down to smash his lips to hers. They were starting to really go at it as he backed her up against the Mustang, his hands wandering down her thighs.

I turned my head away, the heat rising up to my cheeks.

"What car you got?" Sam asked, sounding out of breath.

I cleared my throat, and saw they weren't practically molesting each other anymore. "A 2011 Volvo S80," I answered.

He looked like he was contemplating something as he pulled away from Leah. After a moment, his dark eyes reflected a sense of finality. "You like Shelby, here?" he questioned with a smile.

I really did like it, actually. Normally, I wouldn't think it'd be the type of car I'd want, but I could definitely see myself in it. "Yeah, it's cool," I stated.

"What do you say we do a switch?"

"Fuck no!" Leah shouted angrily at him. "You worked hard for this. You spent months building it up, and now you want to give it to this rich freak?"

"I wouldn't be giving it to him for nothing, babe. He'd give me his car," he explained, and then I heard him whispering quietly to her. "_I can sell the parts of his ride for a shitload more than I could sell Shelby as a whole. It's a better deal._"

She groaned, glowering at me, and then walked back into the trailer. "Fine. Take her. Whatever."

"You in?" he asked.

Glancing at the car, I sort of did want it. I also couldn't help but picture myself backing Bella up against the side of the car and kissing her hard. Plus, she seemed to hate my Volvo for some reason. "Yeah, I'm in," I agreed.

"Sweet. Where is it?"

"The school," I answered. It'd probably been there all night, now that I thought about it.

"Alright, we'll head over there in Shelby," he instructed, and then took his keys out of his pocket, holding them out to me. "You can drive her; get a feel for her. You know how to drive a stick?"

I shook my head. "No, my Volvo is an automatic."

He shrugged and walked around to the passenger's side. "No biggie; I'll teach ya."

Was I really going to just give away the car that my parents had bought me over the summer?

_Fuck yeah. _

I'd only had it for a few months and I did like it, but this was just _so_ much better.

Screw it. I'd deal with the consequences later.

X-X-X-X

After Sam showed me how to drive a stick—and I stopped stalling the car every damn second—we switched cars in the parking lot of the school. He told me that if there were any problems with the car, to drop it off at his garage in La Push that he owned, and that he'd take care of it. He drove off in my Volvo—well, his Volvo now—and I stood, staring happily at my new Mustang.

It was a Saturday and no one seemed to be around, but I wondered if anyone was at the shack. And by anyone, I meant Bella.

I cut through the bushes and walked down the overused trail. As soon as I neared the shack, Quil and Embry walked out.

"Oh, fuck, it's E," Embry said, giving me some sort of high-fiving handshake. "We're calling you that from now on because of that sick jump you made last night."

"Yeah, you are fucking _KING_," Quil spoke. "And Edward is a faggot name."

"Says the faggiest fag with the faggiest name ever," Embry chastised. "I mean, who names their kid 'Quil'? Sounds like quilt."

"It only sounds like that to you because you sit around with your ho of a grandma and make fucking blankets all the time," Quil countered.

"You fucker," Embry snarled, and locked his arm around Quil's neck, bringing him down to the ground.

"Get off me, man!" Quil choked out, and soon, they were both wrestling each other.

I stared down at them, baffled. "Um, is Bella around?" I questioned.

"Clearing," Embry managed to get out as Quil elbowed him in the gut.

I moved around them and passed the shack as I walked further down the path, finally coming to the small opening of overgrown grass I remembered from the last time I was here.

Sitting in the middle of the clearing was Bella. Her hair was tied up in a graceful ponytail and she had on jeans and a blue T-shirt. The sun's rays were shining down on her at the perfect angle. She couldn't have looked more beautiful. Her eyes were downcast as she thoughtfully gazed at the grass, picking at it delicately.

As I approached, she glanced up at me, but then instantly went back to taking apart the grass. "What are you doing here?" she asked, sounding unenthused.

I took a seat on the ground in front of her. "I wanted to see you," I said truthfully.

She broke apart more grass, still refusing to meet my eyes. "Yeah, well, don't you have more cliffs to jump or something?" she questioned.

I sighed. "No."

She slammed her fist down onto the grass and looked directly at me. "Don't do that shit again, okay?" she snapped.

"Alright," I agreed without any hesitation.

"Promise me," she demanded.

I stared intently at her, hoping to convey that I was serious. "I promise."

She breathed deeply a few times in silence, and then dropped her eyes to the grass again. "Good," she spoke quietly. "And don't do E anymore." She looked up at me through her lashes, causing my heart to skip a beat. "Promise?"

I nodded slowly as I moved to sit next to her. Her neck was exposed to me, and I couldn't help myself as I leaned in and lightly kissed it. Even though I still remembered she called our relationship nothing, my lust for her overruled everything that told me not to touch her. My tongue darted out, gently pressing into her salty skin while I pecked a path to her jaw.

"You slapped me," I brought up in a whisper.

She sighed wistfully. "You deserved it," she breathed.

Everything about her right now was turning me on, but I couldn't get the image of her crying out of my brain.

"You were crying," I noted as I kissed her cheek.

Instead of responding, she pulled away from me. "I made that same jump you did over the summer," she admitted. "That was the last time I took E."

I vaguely remembered one of the guys telling me that she'd jumped the cliff on ecstasy, too, but her telling me ignited a strong reaction. Furrowing my brow, I glared at her angrily. "Why would you do that?" I questioned. Why would she risk her life like that?

She huffed. "Why would _you_ do that?" she countered.

"Were you okay?" I asked, ignoring her, as well as my own thoughts that were trying to answer that question.

"Well, I'm sitting here, aren't I?"

I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and slowly trailed my hand down her neck, shoulder, and arm, feeling her smooth skin. My other hand found her thigh, rubbing it gently.

God, I wanted her. We hadn't done anything for over a week now and I was realizing how much I craved her touch, even if it wasn't as intimate as I wanted it. Maybe that was all I'd ever get from her. Could I handle that? I supposed I would have to if I wanted to be around her…and I did, more than anything.

I inched my hand up her thigh, getting closer and closer to that warm spot I loved to touch.

"Don't" she snapped quietly, and removed my hand.

I tried to push through the stabs of rejection as I regarded her sullen state. "What's wrong?" I questioned.

Her eyes flitted somewhere over my shoulder, and before I knew it, she was standing up and walking away. My eyes followed her in confusion, until they landed on Black, his arms crossed over his chest as he glowered at me.

I stood and followed her, though she was already a considerable distance. She said something to Black that I couldn't hear before she passed him toward the trail. He stayed in his stance as I grew closer. When I was about to pass him, he reached out and pressed a hand against my chest, stopping me from moving. My body tensed, and I had to fight myself not to fucking rip his arm out of its socket.

"Let's just make one thing clear," he started, his voice low and threatening. "Just 'cause Quil and Embry seem to like your stupid ass, doesn't mean I will. You stay the hell out of my way." He dropped his hand. "And as for Bella…she's _off limits_. The other guys will back me up on that." With that, he walked away, towards the shack, and I was left standing alone.

He thought he could intimidate me into leaving Bella alone, but he didn't know that most of the time, she wanted to be with me. As long as she wanted me around, I'd be here. I didn't give a damn about him or anybody else. No one could stop me from wanting Bella.

X-X-X-X

After I saw Black, Bella had disappeared, so I didn't stick around, especially once I realized I hadn't been home all night. When I got to the house, only Jasper was there. I couldn't be bothered to even look at him, but he stopped me as I was walking up the stairs.

"Just so you know, Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme decided to go up to Seattle until Monday, and I covered for you by saying you were staying at Emmett's" he said. After he fucking invaded my privacy last night, it was the least he could do. "But only because it was messed up what Tanya did."

Did he have to go and fucking mention that bitch's name? I could give two shits about her now.

I nodded and continued walking up the stairs.

"But that's the last thing I do for you. I'm done," he called after me.

"Like I give a shit," I muttered to myself as I closed the door behind me.

I went into my closet and changed out of my Homecoming outfit. My cigarettes were still in my pocket, so I took them out and threw them on my desk. To be honest, I wanted to smoke one, but I didn't have a lighter. There were matches downstairs in the kitchen. That could work.

Exiting my room, I jogged down the stairs and into the living room. On my way, I regarded Jasper looking out the window.

"There's an old Mustang parked in the driveway," he analyzed.

I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the kitchen. "Yep," I replied passively.

I went through all the drawers looking for matches, but I couldn't find any. Fuck. What the hell did a guy have to do for some goddamn matches? I wondered if my father had any in his den.

Going back out, Jasper had his eyes narrowed at me as he still stood by the window.

"Where's your Volvo?" he inquired.

Jesus fucking Christ, was he the fucking police or some shit? "Not here," I answered, passing him.

Going into my father's den, I wanted to smash all his stupid ticking clocks. I opened the drawers of his desk and found lots of different kinds of papers that I couldn't be bothered to read, but no matches.

"Fuck," I cursed, and stormed out of his office and back up the stairs.

"You know that if something's going on with you, you can talk to me, right?" Jasper offered from down below.

Ignoring him, I shut the door behind me as I got into my room. Next time I decided to go out, I'd get a lighter.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly while I stayed cooped up in the house, watching movies. Jasper didn't bug me, thank God, and I enjoyed the solitude without my parents around. I had no idea where they were, but when did they ever tell me anything about them? My mom usually did, but lately, she hadn't been.

Monday morning, I threw on my leather jacket that I'd neglected all week long, and grabbed my pack of cigarettes. I stopped off at a gas station on the way to school and got one of those cheap lighters.

As I pulled into the lot and neared my parking space, I could see Emmett and Rose leaning against his Jeep. They both looked confused as I parked my new Mustang.

I got out, grabbed, my bag, and walked over to Emmett.

"Hey," I greeted.

He blinked a few times at me before he spoke. "You got a new car?" he questioned.

"Yep," I answered with a smirk. "You like it?"

"It's crap," Rose chimed in.

I rolled my eyes. "Why, hello, Rose. Nice to see you this morning. How are you doing?" I asked sarcastically.

She crossed her arms. "Have you talked to Tanya at all?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow.

I laughed, because that was funny. "Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because she's your girlfriend," Rose replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I gave her an incredulous look. "If you think we're still together after Homecoming, then you're insane."

The school bell rang and Emmett and I went to homeroom. He asked me a lot about the car as well as where I disappeared to after the dance. I told him where I went, but I didn't let him in on anything else that happened. Me taking ecstasy might've been a bit too much for him to hear, I figured. He pestered me about taking Shelby for a ride one day, and I relented, as long as he didn't crash it or some shit.

In first period, I was finding it hard to concentrate. I kept wondering if Bella would be here today. I hadn't seen her truck in the lot, but I never knew with her. That was one of the things I liked about her. I could never tell what her next move would be. She was the most spontaneous person I'd ever known.

Mr. Jefferson, my Chemistry teacher, was giving us notes, when the classroom door opened. Tanya walked inside, her eyes glued to the floor as she took tentative steps and handed him a piece of paper. She hadn't been in homeroom or at the start of first period—like I cared.

She looked like shit. Her eyes were puffy and her face was pale. Everyone around me was whispering to each other quietly as she took a seat in the desk next to me. Mr. Jefferson resumed the lesson, and I took up taking notes.

"Can we talk?" I heard Tanya ask quietly next to me.

I ignored her, trying hard to pay attention to my fucking notes that made no goddamn sense. I fucking hated Chemistry.

A small torn paper appeared on my desk, and I furrowed my brow as I looked at it.

_**I just want to explain everything. Please give me at least 10 minutes at lunch. **_

I crumbled the paper up nice and small and made a show of throwing it into the trash can in the corner of the classroom near the front door. What was great was I actually made it in, but Mr. Jefferson clearly didn't like that.

"Mr. Cullen, is there something you wish to share?" he questioned, all stern and shit.

"Nope," I answered with a smirk. "Tanya wants to 'talk,' but you can tell her to go to hell."

Everyone around laughed, and I gave Tanya a smug smile as she sunk down in her chair, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment.

_Fucking fake bitch. _

By lunch, it was abundantly clear that the whole school was talking about Tanya and me splitting up. The best rumor I heard was that Tanya cheated on me to be with her pimp. I had to laugh. It was the fucking funniest thing ever and also insinuated such truth, too.

As I entered the cafeteria, I saw Emmett already sitting at a table, and he waved me over. But just as I crossed the lunch room to him, I heard "yo, E," being called behind me.

I stopped and turned around, seeing Embry, Quil, and Paul sitting down at a table. They each gave me expectant looks. Did they actually want me to sit with them? Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Emmett issuing me the same look, but just as Rose and Tanya sat down, I knew what I would do.

When I arrived at the table, there were no seats.

"Oh, I got it," Paul offered, and grabbed the chair behind him. A sophomore boy was sitting on it and tumbled to the ground as Paul shook him off. He set the chair down, ignoring the boy who was scrambling and running away. "There ya go."

"Thanks," I said hesitantly, and sat down.

"Dude, that jump you did on Friday was awesome," Paul complimented.

"I told you. He's King," Quil said.

I tried to contain a smile. Though I wasn't on drugs right now, that jump I'd taken had been pretty phenomenal. I was still surprised I'd even done it. But I couldn't help but realize that it hadn't really been me that had taken a chance like that. It had been the drug.

"You gotta do it again, man," Embry encouraged.

I laughed, but remembered that I'd promised Bella I wouldn't do that again. "I think I'm good for now," I spoke.

"Yeah, you can't top that jump. Even Bella's jump wasn't as awesome as that," Embry said.

I furrowed my brow. "What exactly happened to her when she did that?" I questioned curiously.

"She took some E, but also took some other shit, too. I guess it all hit her pretty hard, because she decided it'd be awesome to jump off the cliff. Can't say I blame her," Embry explained with a smirk.

"Was she okay, though?" I asked.

"Nah," Quil answered. "She was in the hospital for a week straight after that. Jake had to jump in after her when she didn't come up."

My eyes went wide and my breathing sped up. Why hadn't she told me that? The thought of her being in any kind of danger had me feeling paranoid.

"We thought she was dead for a while, too," Paul added. "But she just hit her head on some rocks and didn't wake up after that."

Quil laughed. "Remember how Jake was fucking spazzing that whole week," he said to them.

Embry and Paul joined in, laughing at whatever was supposed to be funny.

"Hey, guys," a breathy voice said nearby, instantly causing my pulse to quicken.

My eyes connected with Bella's, and she gave me a weak smile before glancing away.

"Why are there never any fucking seats in this stupid shithole?" she questioned, sounding annoyed.

"I got it," Paul said, and made his way to a couple tables over, which had Mike sitting there with Eric and Tyler. He stood over Mike, glowering down at him. "Get the fuck off your chair."

Mike looked up at him with confidence, but he was clearly faking it. "No way, man. Get your own," he challenged, his voice cracking.

Paul grabbed Mike's tray of food and dropped everything on it onto his lap, causing Mike to stand up swiftly. "Thanks, loser," Paul said, grabbing Mike's chair and walking back over to us. He set it down near Bella so that she could sit.

"He's such a fucking 'tard," Quil remarked, laughing.

I glanced at Bella, who was trying to suppress a smile. When she saw I was looking at her, she sighed heavily and stood. "I'm gonna go get some food," she said, and walked away.

As I watched her go, I could tell something was up with her. She had barely even looked at me, and her sultry smiles she'd always give me were non-existent at the moment. Wanting to find out, I stood, too, and told the guys I'd be back.

On my way towards the lunch line, to where she disappeared, I saw Rose, Alice, and Jasper glaring at me from their table. Ignoring them, I neared Bella, who was merely standing at the salad bar, just staring at it.

"Hey, you okay?" I whispered in her ear from behind.

She gasped, spun around, and then glared at me. "Don't fucking do that, Richie," she snapped, and turned back to the salad bar.

"Wanna talk?" I asked, since something was clearly on her mind.

"No," she answered.

I placed my hand on her thigh and rubbed slowly. "You wanna go to the art room?" I breathed in her ear. Since we'd started…whatever it was we had together…I'd found she wasn't much of a talker, but she was always game for going to the art room.

She moved away from me, causing my hand to drop to my side. "I really just wanna eat something."

I sighed, giving up. "Fine," I muttered dejectedly, and went back to the table. I tried my hardest not to think about the fact that she'd just turned down sex with me.

"Hey, E," Quil said as I sat back down, "you should come with Embry and me to the theater after lunch. You'll get a fucking good show of Jessica riding Principal Banner."

That was fucking disgusting. "Uh, I've got Cooking after this," I admitted.

They all laughed.

"Stupid fucking class," Paul said. "I don't know why Bella likes that shit. It's the only reason she even comes to this fucking lame school."

"It's the only class she's doing good in without us having to fuck with Principal Banner," Quil revealed.

"Really?" I asked, even though I should've known that Bella was doing well on her own in Cooking.

"Yeah, she has Mrs. Cope right up her ass," Quil said with a chuckle.

"She's probably doing better than me," I admitted, thinking about my pathetic low A in that class.

"Don't worry, man. We'll get you in on the scheme," Embry assured.

"Ah, sweet!" Quil exclaimed. "Looks like we're paying the fucker a visit after lunch. He'll have blue balls all day, not being able to have his daily screw with Jessica."

"Wait, what?" I questioned, unsure of what I was hearing.

"You'll get good grades for the rest of the year like us. It's a sweet deal," Embry answered.

They were actually going to let me in on their blackmailing of Principal Banner? The old me might've felt awful about taking advantage of someone in authority like that, but the new me—the one I'd very recently come to enjoy—could give two fucks, and wanted to utilize the hell out of that shit. This year seemed to be shaping up just the way I wanted it to.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Oh, Riskward. Such scheming ways…**

**So, I won't be updating next week. I need a bit of a break. And I thought I could do Tuesdays, but there are too many technical factors involved that I didn't consider, so the next update will most likely be on a Thursday in two weeks. **

**Teasers for reviewers. Of course, if you check out the AYOR thread on Twilighted, I will post a separate teaser there, as well. **

**P.S. There's a pic of Edward's new ride on the profile. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **

**I'm back. Thanks for the break. I needed it. Just to let you know, I send out teasers to everyone that replies. If you don't get one, it's either because you reviewed anonymously, or there are FFn problems…as usual. **

**Thanks to Lindz26 for beta'ing and Renas40 for pre-reading. These girls are awesome. And a special thanks to Browns, who reviewed AYOR for the Weekly Fic Picks feature at The Twilight Awards. If you want to read her review, the link is on my profile.

* * *

**

The rest of lunch passed with non-stop talk about some good weed Quil got that we all had to smoke after lunch. Bella barely spoke, choosing to lazily pick at her food in silence, and no one even questioned her. It felt like a regular occurrence with her, and I was beginning to wonder if she wasn't just quiet with me.

We'd catch each other's eye every now and then, and she'd give me a small smile, but it never reached her eyes. I wanted to know what was wrong, yet I knew that getting her to open up was a lost cause. I'd been battling that for a while now with little leeway. She was like a closed book I so desperately wanted to read. Why wouldn't she just fucking let me in?

A few times, I felt like I was being stared at, and I already knew who it was—or they, if I were to be more specific. I didn't give a shit about any of them, except Emmett. He was my best friend and I really did feel bad that I didn't sit with him, but I also hoped he understood that sitting with Bella was just…something that I needed to do.

Before the bell even rang, Paul, Embry, and Quil decided to go, leaving Bella and me alone. She began to gather her things, and I picked up her tray to throw it away. She grabbed it back just as I was getting up.

"Richie, you don't need to treat me like a goddamn invalid," she snapped, and threw her trash away.

"It's called a nice gesture, Bella," I said, annoyed as I stood and positioned my bag over my shoulder.

"Whatever," she mumbled to herself, causing me to raise an eyebrow while I watched her walk off.

Catching up to her, I could feel more stares on my back, but I'd begun to grow accustomed to them. Her pace was quick as she climbed the stairs to the second floor and walked down the hall.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I questioned.

She kept her eyes forward as we neared the classroom. "Maybe I'm sick of you treating me like I'm glass."

That definitely wasn't it. "You're lying," I stated.

"And how would you know that?"

"Because you refuse to even look at me right now," I said, causing her to instantly to stop in her tracks and stare at me directly in the eyes.

"There," she spoke. "I'm looking at you. Happy?"

I rolled my eyes as she entered the classroom.

_Closed fucking book._

Mrs. Cope was at her desk when she regarded us. The bell rang while we both grabbed our aprons and Bella quickly walked to her desk. I sat down in the desk next to her.

"Some chick usually sits there," Bella acknowledged dismissively.

Was she trying to tell me to go? For the most part, I decided to ignore that. "I don't really care."

She furrowed her brow. "What happened to your snooty friends?" she questioned.

I shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"I would rather not have that chick with all the hair staring at me every second."

She was clearly talking about Tanya. "Have you not heard the rumors?" I asked. She had to have heard. Everyone and their fucking mother were talking about Tanya's stupid ass.

She didn't answer, but instead, looked straight ahead. I hadn't told Bella that Tanya and I had broken up, but now I was wondering if she actually knew. Of course, I couldn't tell, but if almost everyone in this school had heard, then she had to know, as well, right? But with the way she was completely disregarding me, I was beginning to think she really didn't know. The question was would I tell her?

A wave of sadness washed over me when I considered that she really might not care. It wasn't like it would change things. And things right now seemed to be so gray and unknown between us. I wanted it to go back to all those vibrant colors it was before I had to go and ask her to Homecoming.

Someone cleared their throat quietly, and I turned my attention away from Bella to see a small blonde girl standing next to my desk. Why the fuck was she staring at me like that?

"You're…um…you're sitting where I usually sit," she noted meekly, her eyes darting between Bella and me.

"So?" I questioned, irritated. "Find another."

"But—" she began to say, before I interrupted her.

"Find another desk," I said through gritted teeth. Fucking dumbass. She could see I was sitting here, couldn't she?

Her eyes became saucers, and she quickly scurried off to a desk far away from us. I turned back to Bella, who was watching me closely.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head and dropped her eyes to her desk.

When class started, Mrs. Cope told us we were making Cream of Spinach Soup. We all got up and walked back to the counter. My eyes remained on Bella the entire time. She seemed in her own world as she neared her usual place. Angela was walking sort of slow and didn't realize Bella was right behind her, but I could see the irritation forming on Bella's face.

"Can you hurry the fuck up?" Bella snapped.

Angela looked over her shoulder at Bella, her eyes emitting fear, and quickly walked to her place. "Sorry," she mumbled in reply.

When Bella and I took our places next to each other, I leaned close to her so only she could hear. "You alright?" I inquired.

"She moves like a goddamn grandma," she answered a bit loudly, and I was sure it was on purpose.

I glanced at Angela, who had definitely heard that. She was trying her hardest not to look scared, but wasn't doing a very good job of it. Was she really _that_ afraid of Bella? I knew Bella had tampered with her brakes, but it wasn't like she'd put Angela's life in danger. After all, you couldn't go that far in the parking lot.

To be honest, I was starting to think most people didn't understand Bella. They made up a bunch of crap about her, but none if it ever seemed to be true. It was like they wanted to feel like they knew her. But the things Bella actually did, they couldn't even dream up in a million years. I was convinced everyone in this school was just that fucking idiotic.

Mrs. Cope set us all up, and I tried my best to stir some shit in a pot because it was _really_ hard to do.

Yeah fucking right. Why the hell was I getting a low A again? _Stupid teachers and their stupid grade system. _

Bella was a whiz with all this and barely even listened to Mrs. Cope as she instructed us how to add the milk in. It was fucking milk! You pour the stupid shit in. But _no_, you had to put it in a little at time, not all at once.

Aside from my balls being very blue, I was positive they were shriveling up by the second.

"You wanna talk now?" I asked Bella quietly, stirring the ingredients in the pot absentmindedly.

"Do you ever just fucking give up?" she questioned, clearly aggravated while she stirred, too.

"No," I said, because it was the truth. And she should've known that first hand, considering the amount of times I struggled to even to talk to her in the beginning. But here I was…

She sighed, and stopped stirring. "Your snooty friends probably miss you," she said.

Why was she bringing that up again? "I told you. I don't really care. Is this because I sat with you at lunch today?" She'd seemed weird the whole time. She hadn't touched her food, even though she'd claimed she was hungry, and she'd barely looked at me.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't care where the hell you sit," she admitted.

"Ouch," I said, but cracked a subtle smile. I knew it was just a poor choice of words…I hoped.

"Whatever," she muttered. "You know, this isn't all some fucking game."

I raised an eyebrow, not understanding her. "What?" I inquired.

"You just think you can take some shit, jump off a cliff, and that makes you different?"

I really didn't know where this was all coming from, but she was finally speaking her mind…even if what she was saying I didn't like.

Before I even had a chance to respond, Mrs. Cope came over to me and looked in my pot. She told me I was burning the bottom of the soup, because apparently, I'd stopped stirring when I was talking to Bella.

Bella wouldn't look at me after that, and I decided that after class, I was going to ask her what the hell she was talking about before.

So, when the bell rang, I followed her out to the parking lot. She actually walked next to me, which was a change, considering we'd never done that, but she refused to speak. Although, as soon as the door shut behind us, she turned to me, her eyes conveying some sort determination.

"When Embry was eleven, he was playing with matches in his room and decided it'd be fun to light things on fire when his parents were asleep one night. He took it too far and when his parents woke up and realized what was going on, it was too late. Embry made it out alive, but they didn't," Bella revealed.

I furrowed my brow, wondering why she was telling me this. "Bella—" I began to say, before she cut me off.

"Quil's dad left his mom when he was thirteen. He abandoned them without a fucking penny. They were practically homeless on the streets. One day, his mom finally had enough and killed herself. He had nowhere to go until Embry and his grandma took him in." Her brown eyes softened significantly. "And Jake…his dad used to be on the police force until he was shot in his legs seven times. He couldn't walk after that and has to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. You know where Jake is right now?" She paused, but I stayed stock-still. "He's working a double shift at a car garage to support him and his dad."

I remained staring at her silently. This was the most she'd ever spoken to me, and the most passionate I'd ever seen her. I found myself wanting to think of this all as a sick joke, but she was dead serious. But why was she telling me this?

"Some fucked up shit has happened to all of us," she admitted.

The word "us" hadn't been lost on me. "And you?" I questioned.

Her features became tight, her mouth turning into a thin line. "The point is," she snapped abruptly, "you have your fucking perfect friends, parents, house, your stupid car, and yet here you are with me."

I blinked a couple times, trying to figure out what she was trying to get across. "So, you think that because I have certain things that I don't have problems?" I asked. "Just because I don't have a tragic fucking story, doesn't mean there isn't shit going on in my life."

She looked mildly offended, but then snorted. "Right. Like your dad taking your allowance away?" she questioned sarcastically.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I don't fucking have an allowance."

"Instead of goddamn jumping down my throat, why don't you actually listen to me," she said, crossing her arms, and I matched her stance. "What I'm saying is that you have no fucking clue what you're getting into." She sighed heavily. "I know we're supposed to be buddies and shit now, but I'm no good for you to hang out with."

My mouth curved into a frown. Not just because she was still referring to us as buddies, but also because she seemed to really think that she was bad for me. "Why would you think that?" I asked.

"Because, Richie, I've done some pretty messed up shit," she admitted, a hint of sadness emerging through the tough exterior she was trying to hold.

I shook my head. That just wasn't possible. "If this is about tampering with Angela's brakes—"

"That's not what I mean," she said pointedly. "Your snooty friends—those are the people you should be with. Not us."

My nostrils flared, because who was she to tell me who I should be hanging out with? "I don't want to be with them. If I did, I would. Did you ever think about that?"

"Yeah, I have," she said, her expression becoming cold. "But you just think this is all a fun game, something new because you're goddamn bored with your life."

She was so fucking wrong that I wanted to laugh. Sure I'd felt like my life was boring, and hanging out with Bella was different, but she just didn't get the real reason why I didn't want to have the same life as before.

I scowled and took a step forward to tower over her. "If I thought this was all a game, then why the hell do I wait to be with you every second? Why do I think about you every night before I go to bed? Why is it that everything I do now, I only want to do to impress you?" I knew I was saying far too much, allowing my emotions to run away with me like when I'd tried to ask her what I was to her. But I couldn't help myself. She drove me to this point and I wasn't going to just sit back and not tell her how she made me fucking insane all the time.

I could see her features becoming blank, just like that day in the art room. Fuck.

"So, you're doing this all for me," she spoke quietly.

I had to be honest. I couldn't just lie to her. "Yes."

A crease formed on her forehead, and she started shaking her head. "_No_," she said firmly. "You—" She cut herself off and looked away, appearing to be thinking hard. "I can't be that for you. You know this. _I told you_."

Pushing past the rejection that she was giving me—again—I gave her scornful look. "You fucking tell me that shit, but you haven't told me why."

Her eyes connected with mine, and I could see a hint of desperation in them. "I'm no good for—"

I grabbed her upper arms tightly, as if afraid she'd run away. "Shut up, Bella," I growled angrily. "I don't give a damn what you've done, haven't done, what you have or what you don't have. I like you. You're the best fucking thing in my life right now. Can't you even see that?"

"Edward," she breathed, her eyes wide as she stared up at me. She looked terrified, and that fucking broke me because I had no idea why. "You don't understand. There are things you don't know about me and…"

"And what?" I questioned, wanting her to finish what she was saying.

Tears sprung to her eyes, but didn't fall. "You're going to hate me," she whispered so quietly I barely heard her.

I loosened my hold on her arms, dropping a hand while my other claimed one of hers. Rubbing her knuckles with my thumb, I forced myself to calm down. "I could never hate you. How can you think that?" I asked softly.

"Because you will…" she said, and removed her hand out of mine. "I need to go." She walked onto the parking lot as I remained standing in the same spot.

"Bella," I called suddenly, and she turned around. "Am I the only one feeling anything here?" I had to know if she thought of me as much as I thought of her, because if she said that she didn't feel anything, then I'd have to let her go. But if she said that she did, I'd keep fighting for her and pushing her to open up to me.

With the slight, barely there shake of her head, I got my answer. She quickly spun around and walked away, leaving me to my own thoughts.

She felt the same way I felt for her. She didn't see us as just buddies or even fuck buddies. It was real—whatever was between us.

In that moment, I couldn't have been happier, but I also couldn't have been sadder. I didn't know why she didn't want to give into being with me, but I wouldn't give up on her. Not for anything.

X-X-X-X

After school was finished, I went to the shack, remembering that Quil and Embry had said they were going to be there. I was also sort of hoping Bella would be around, but I had a feeling she wouldn't be. Either way, I just needed to unwind. I was also dying for a cigarette for some reason.

"Hey, E," Embry greeted jovially as I entered the shack. I could already tell he was high off his ass. "Pull up a fuckin' crate, man."

He and Quil were smoking a joint as they sat back. I reached in my pocket for my cigarettes as well as my new lighter, and fired up one. Almost immediately, I relaxed as I blew out the smoke. _God…I fucking needed that. _

"We got you covered, by the way," Quil said. "Banner was practically shitting himself when we showed up."

"But it's done, so now you don't have to go to that lame cooking class," Embry said, taking the joint from Quil.

"Yeah," I agreed quietly, not wanting to admit I only went there for Bella.

"We should set off another stink bomb tomorrow," Embry suggested, abruptly changing the subject as he took a long drag.

Quil guffawed at that. "Everyone goes fucking nuts when we do that. Remember last time?" he asked.

"Yeah, Jessica screamed louder than that time Banner rammed into her from the back."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, the mental image permanently branded in my brain. I took another puff of my cigarette. "Is Bella around?" I queried, interrupting their conversation.

"She went home," Quil answered, and then snorted. "'Bout time, too."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" I asked.

He shrugged. "She sometimes stays here over night."

She would spend the night in the _shack? _In the woods? Alone? "Why?" I questioned, my stomach clenching. I really didn't like the idea of her being by herself at night in a rundown shack.

Quil and Embry both exchanged a guarded look.

"Why does she stay here over night?" I pressed, when they didn't offer an answer.

"Because sometimes being at home for her is too much," Embry answered warily.

I didn't know what to think about that. It was clear to me now that there was something at home that weighed heavily on her. I hoped she was okay. If anything happened to her…

"And you guys let her stay here by herself?" I asked curiously, considering they seemed to be so protective of her.

Embry snorted. "You think we haven't tried to stop her? She does whatever the fuck she wants. She's stubborn as shit, I tell ya."

"Fuck yeah," Quil agreed. "You can't tell her what to do. She'll just come here without any of us knowing. Jake flips the fuck out whenever she stays here, and especially when she wakes up in the clearing."

Ignoring the mention of Black, I focused on the last part he'd admitted to. "She wakes up in the clearing?"I questioned.

"Yeah, she sleepwalks or whatever. It's the creepiest shit," Quil replied.

"I saw a documentary on the _Discovery Channel_ where this chick went into her kitchen to make fucking eggs…_in her sleep_," Embry remarked in awe.

"Loser," Quil blurted in a cough, and smirked.

Embry shot him a death glare. "Fuck you."

"Wait," I interrupted, annoyed at how fast they changed the subject again. "So, she falls asleep in the shack, but then wakes up in the clearing?"

"Yep," Quil answered. "Pretty rad, huh?"

"It's not rad. People can die from sleepwalking," Embry countered.

"Did you see that in your documentary?" Quil quipped. "I bet you watched it with your grandma."

"Fuck you. I did not."

As they continued talking about nothing in particular, I thought about how Bella indicated she felt something other than sexually towards me. I just wished that she would be open with me. I mean, it wasn't like it was completely hard to admit to liking me.

Taking a generous drag of my cigarette, I contemplated whether I could see her today. School was over, and the guys said she was at home, but I had no clue where she lived. Would she be okay if I were to just stop by if I managed to find out?

"Hey," I said to them, breaking their debate on whether 2Pac still lived, "Bella forgot something in cooking class today and I wanted to give it to her. How far away does she live from here?"

They were both pretty out of it, but Embry managed to acknowledge what I said. "She's just a few blocks down from here on K street," he replied lazily. "But I'd make sure only her truck is in the driveway."

I arched an eyebrow. "Why?" I questioned.

"Just trust me," he answered, and took a drag of his joint.

X-X-X-X

I'd never driven down to this part of town before, and surprisingly enough, the houses looked relatively normal. It wasn't like I was expecting her to live in a beat up home with questionable neighbors…alright, maybe I was expecting that.

As I rolled through a stop sign, I could make out her red truck in a driveway of a two story house with an overgrown lawn. In comparison to the other houses, hers was definitely less kempt.

My breathing became a bit shallower for some reason. I supposed it was because this was completely different territory. I'd seen her at school or even at the shack, but dropping by her home was more personal. I felt like I would really get to see her in her element…and perhaps get a look at why exactly she didn't like sleeping at her own house.

Recognizing that there was no other car in the driveway, I pulled up to the house along the curb and simply remained staring. What did I do now? I had no excuse why I was here. I just knew that I wanted to see her again, and now here I was.

Cutting off the engine, removing my seatbelt, and opening the car door, I braced myself to step out…that was until the front door of the house suddenly flew open and Bella came bounding outside with a huge grin on her face.

"Sam!" she called happily, but then came to an abrupt stop when she saw me emerge from the Mustang.

I leaned against the door, my eyes locked with hers. I couldn't make out what she was thinking, like I ever really could…but this was the most trouble I'd ever had.

Several seconds passed and she still hadn't moved, so I shut the door and walked across the grass, over to her. She took a step back, causing me to become slightly insecure.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned, her voice empty.

Good question. I didn't know. I decided to play it off. "Quil and Embry were talking about whether they thought 2Pac was alive or not and I figured I'd get your opinion," I said with an impish smile.

Whatever I said seemed to piss her off, because her blank expression turned into a full on glower. "And you just thought you'd stop by my house?" She looked around me and huffed. I also noticed her eyes kept darting down the street. "Where the hell did you get that car?"

"I traded my Volvo to Sam for his Mustang…which is technically my Mustang now."

"When did you meet—?" she began to ask, but then stopped herself and closed her eyes. "I can't believe you fucking stopped by my house." Her eyes opened, staring daggers into mine.

What was the big deal? It was just a house. It wasn't like I gave a shit where she lived. I just wanted to see her. "So?" I questioned.

"_So_, you can't just fucking stop around when you goddamn feel like it."

This was fucking ridiculous. "You know, I'd let you stop by my house anytime."

She laughed darkly. "Like I really give a shit about going to your fucking rich ass mansion."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "It's not a mansion, and of course _you _wouldn't," I sniped.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you don't give a damn about me or have any interest in getting to know me. Have you even thought about asking for my cell phone number? Are you just so fucking self-absorbed that you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself?"

A crease formed on her forehead and she abruptly pushed me as hard as she could, but I barely moved.

I chuckled sinisterly. "Did you just push me, Bella?" I asked rhetorically. "I thought slapping was your thing." Her eyes turned to slits and she geared her hand back. I quickly grabbed a hold of her wrist. "I don't fucking think so. Not this time." If she thought she could slap me again and get away with it, she had another fucking thing coming.

"Leave," she seethed, wrenching her hand out of my grasp.

I jammed my hand into my pocket and grabbed my car keys. "Gladly," I replied, my voice strained. Without saying goodbye, I walked towards the Mustang. When I opened the car door, I stopped, but didn't turn around. "You know…earlier I asked you if I was the only one feeling anything, and you said no. I really believed you then. Now…I don't." With that, I hopped in my car and started the engine. I didn't bother to look at her as I pulled away from the house.

X-X-X-X

When I got home, my parents' car was in the driveway.

"Fucking great," I muttered to myself.

I briefly debated whether I should park the car in the driveway, against the curb, or even way down the street so they wouldn't see, but I thought I'd just bite the fucking bullet, because honestly, I didn't give a shit what they said about it…especially now. I was in a bad fucking mood after seeing Bella, and almost everything was pissing me off. Even the fucking rose bushes that lined the pathway to the front door bothered the shit out of me.

I needed a fucking cigarette.

When I pushed open the front door and placed my keys on the key rack, I instantly heard the voice of my mother and father coming from his den.

"Edward, is that you?" my mother called out.

"Yep," I answered.

"Can you come in here with us?" she questioned.

I sighed and walked into the den, wishing they hadn't come home. All I wanted to do was lie on my bed and do fucking nothing until tomorrow morning.

My father was sitting at his desk while my mother sat on the leather couch. His expression was serious while hers was warm. Okay, so maybe I missed her, but I definitely hadn't missed him.

"What is it?" I asked.

She patted the spot on the couch next to her. "Have a seat. Your father wants to talk to you."

I didn't understand why she always had to fucking speak for him. It was like he didn't want to be bothered initiating a conversation with me…not like I even _wanted _to speak to him to begin with.

As soon as I sat next to her, my dad cleared his throat. I noticed he was analyzing me curiously. "I just got a call from the school, from your Principal, to be exact."

Just what I fucking needed—some more shit to be grounded over.

Hey…wait a goddamn minute. I hadn't even done anything. I swear to God…if I was being blamed again for something I didn't do, I was going to go fucking ballistic.

"And?" I asked, wanting him to hurry the fuck up.

"We're really proud of you, honey," my mom said with a smile. "Straight A's? That is quite an accomplishment."

I blinked several times in shock. My grades were all A's.

Quil and Embry were fucking geniuses.

"I'm very impressed, Edward," my dad spoke. "I was sure your grades wouldn't be quite as good, but _this_…this is excellent."

He was impressed. My_ father_ was impressed. When was the last time he'd been impressed with something I did?

When I'd agreed to follow in his footsteps by going to Yale and studying to be a doctor.

The thought of that had a negative reaction in me, but who the fuck cared? He was _impressed_ with me.

"Um, thank you," was all I could utter.

"I was going to wait until Thanksgiving to give you this, but I think now is an appropriate time," he said, and pushed an envelope to the edge of his desk.

I stood hesitantly and walked over, grabbing the envelope. When I opened it, I furrowed my brow. "A key?" I questioned.

"It's to a cabin up in Whistler, Canada. I figured you, Jasper, and your friends can go for your Christmas vacation. You have the skis I bought you for your birthday, and your trust fund is available if you need anything while you're up there."

My trust fund? He'd just assumed I would use the money in there for a skiing trip I didn't even have a say in? A skiing trip with people I wasn't remotely talking to lately. Though a part of me was a bit interested in doing this, another part of me, the more dominant side now, was just plain fucking annoyed at the gesture.

"Thanks," I mumbled, looking down at the key.

I'd have to spend Christmas with a bunch of fucking idiots.

My dad stood and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "You should thank Jasper. This was his idea," he admitted.

Oh whoopdi—fucking—doo…fucking Jasper to the rescue with all his brilliant ideas.

"You should have fun, dear," my mother started. "You won't have a lot of time during the summer to do much of anything before you go off to college."

I wanted to laugh at that. College. I hadn't even turned in my application yet. It was still lying on my desk up in my room, probably forming fucking cobwebs on it.

"Keep the key in a safe place," my father instructed.

"We'll get you some warmer clothes to take up there with you," my mom said.

"But…" I started, trailing off, "if we're going up to Canada, where will you two be?"

They looked at each other for a brief moment before glancing back at me.

"We'll be in Seattle," my mom answered.

Somehow, I knew they were going to say that. It seemed that was the only place they were going these days. "Why do you guys keep going to Seattle?" I questioned curiously.

My mom eyed my father, looking like she wanted him to say something, but he didn't say a word. She sighed and stood from the couch. "Perhaps we can have this discussion after Christmas."

"After Christmas?" I questioned, worried. "What's the difference between now and after Christmas?" I paused, remembering what Jasper thought was going on with them. "Are you two…having relationship problems or something?"

My mom's eyes widened. "What?" she asked without skipping a beat, appearing taken aback.

"What gave you that idea?" my father queried, his tone a bit sterner.

"I don't know. Jasper seemed to think—" I began to say before my mom cut me off.

"_That child_," she reprimanded with a shake of her head.

"Esme," my father admonished.

"He has the most insane ideas sometimes, Carlisle. And he's putting thoughts like that into Edward's head. You need to talk to that boy," she scolded.

"No one is putting thoughts into anyone's head. Edward is his own person and can make a judgment like that on his own," my father answered.

"We're not having marital problems," she said directly to me. "We'll be spending Christmas in Seattle, and when we get back, we'll have some things to discuss."

My dad glanced at his watch swiftly. "I need to go to work," he announced abruptly, and walked to my mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek, almost purposefully, before exiting out of the den.

"Are you excited about the trip?" my mother asked me, her demeanor quickly changing to cheerful.

As soon as I heard the front door open, my body went rigid in sudden realization of what was about to come.

_FUCK! _

"Edward," my father called, his voice loud and harsh. "Where is your Volvo and why is there a Mustang in our driveway?"

* * *

**A/N: **

**Well, you knew that was coming. But what exactly do you think his dad will do? And as for Bella, the cracks are starting to show, and Edward is getting fed up of her keeping things from him…**

**See ya next week! Reviews get teasers.  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:**

**I just want to say something quick, without giving anything away, because a lot of you have noted how much my dear Riskward has changed from the beginning of the plot, to now. He's getting progressively worse, and from this point on, you might be shocked at some of the things he does and says. If this bothers you, then I'm truly sorry. I never claimed this story would be a positive one.**

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40. I couldn't do this without either of them. Thanks girls!

* * *

**

"Well?" my father questioned as he stepped back into the den.

I hadn't cared about my new car being in the driveway before, but now that my dad had gone and tried to be all nice and shit to me, I was starting to realize what a mistake that had been. I should've fucking parked down the street.

"My Volvo…" I began to say, but trailed off. I couldn't say that I'd traded the car he'd bought me for another.

"Carlisle, what is it?" my mother asked.

"There is a Mustang in the driveway, right next my car. Edward's Volvo—no, the Volvo _I_ bought him is missing." His cold eyes found mine again, expecting an answer.

"Edward?" my mom's quiet voice asked, searching my face for, no doubt, an explanation.

I tried to rack my brain for something to say that wouldn't end up turning everything into a shitstorm, but every excuse I came up with concluded with the same scenario—my dad yelling at me. What was new?

"Did you use your trust fund to buy a new car?" he asked, his voice controlled.

"No," I answered quickly, though I was becoming pissed that he would assume that. To be honest, I was just angry in general that he was even talking to me like this. I was eighteen. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. "I traded the Volvo for the Mustang."

"You what?" he queried, enraged.

"Edward," my mother gasped, clutching her chest in shock.

"So, you just decided you'd trade a car that doesn't even belong to you?" my dad inquired.

"It belonged to me," I snapped in correction. "I drove it every day."

"Wrong," he barked. "The car is in _my_ name, considering not only were you underage at the time of purchase, but you haven't earned a single penny to afford something like that. Not to mention, I paid for the registration and continue to pay for the insurance. But that didn't cross your mind, did it?"

This was fucking ridiculous. He was talking to me like I was a child. I was an _adult_. "So, what?" I questioned, my temper escalating.

"What you did was inconsiderate, honey," my mom interjected.

"No, Esme. What he did was impulsive and stupid," Dad said.

"_Stupid_?" I asked incredulously. "Yeah, go ahead, Dad. Go ahead and call your son stupid."

"Edward, stop that," my mother scolded.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but your behavior is out of control lately. It's equivalent to that of a juvenile delinquent," he analyzed, causing me to snort loudly. This made him angry, considering his face turned a deep shade of red. "You do realize how severe this is, do you?"

"_It's a car_. If you're that goddamn concerned over the stupid insurance, then I can pay for it myself," I said, even though I knew I didn't even need to have insurance for the Mustang. I could get away with it, I was sure. What was with all the fucking dramatics? He was acting as if I'd just slaughtered a kitten.

"You're not going to touch your trust fund," my mother spoke sternly, her brow furrowed.

My father crossed his arms over his chest, his features appearing to have calmed. "No, I think that's a great idea," he voiced suddenly, his demeanor lighter.

"What?" she asked, horrified.

"He clearly thinks he's an adult and can handle the responsibility on his own," he answered, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "In fact, I think there are a lot of things he can take care of without our help. He already has his college application under his belt, and now the dealings of his new car, so why not add food and board to that list."

"You can't be serious," my mother said to him.

I laughed, because he was clearly trying to break me down or something, but I wasn't going to give into his bullshit anymore, nor was I remotely scared of him. "Relax, Mom. They're just empty threats so that I do what he wants. He forgets that I'm eighteen now and don't need him," I noted, keeping my eyes narrowed on my father.

"You're very mistaken, Edward," he spoke calmly. "I'm going to allow you to stay in this house and eat the food that we provide, but everything else you'll handle on your own. You want to be an adult and treated like one? That's perfectly fine. You'll see firsthand what that's like."

"We don't even know where he got this car. For all we know, it could be stolen," my mother remarked in a panic.

"It's not stolen," I answered confidently.

"He'll have to learn that on his own, Esme," he said, and then held out his palm to me, face up. "You can give me the key to the cabin back. Since this was Jasper's idea, I'm going to let it be his decision whether he wants you there or not."

_Oh, I'm so unbelievably heartbroken_, I thought sarcastically as I gave him the key. He didn't realize that he just saved me a stupid trip to fucking Canada.

"And I'll be taking back those skis," he informed, before turning around and exiting out of the den.

"They're in the basement," I called out with a triumphant smirk, and looked at my mother, who was regarding me closely. I rolled my eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Mom"

"Do you not see what you did?" she asked.

"No, I don't," I answered honestly. Everyone was overreacting for fucking nothing.

"I don't say this a lot, because I rarely am, but I'm really disappointed in you, Edward," she admitted.

A part of me felt slapped in the face by her, but another part was furious, because this was just beyond typical. "Yeah, let's all be disappointed in Edward, because he never does anything right," I quipped snidely, and stormed out.

"Edward, honey," my mom called, but I'd already made it up the stairs by the time she even came out of the den.

Shutting the door, I roughly pushed the chair at my desk so that it toppled onto the ground. Needing to expel the pent up anger I was withholding, I grabbed the Yale college application off my desk, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it across my room, into the dark corner.

X-X-X-X

The next day, I was on edge. I drove eighty miles per hour to school, my tires screeching as I swerved into the parking lot and into my usual space.

It was fairly early, but Emmett was already there, leaning against his Jeep. Too aggravated to even acknowledge him, I walked by, and towards the school.

As I entered the building, the hallways were almost empty.

Almost.

There, leaning up against my locker, was Bella. I avoided her eyes while I walked up and entered my locker combination.

"I don't want to fight," she spoke as I ignored her purposefully. "Will you stop being a douche?"

I switched out some books from my bag from the ones in my locker, shut the door, and faced her. "It doesn't change the fact that I think you're hiding something from me, considering that you all but shoved me off your property yesterday," I said.

She sighed sadly, not responding for a moment. It was as if she was carefully choosing her words. "It's not like we know each other," she replied, staring down into my chest.

I stepped forward, backing her against the locker, and placed my hands on either side of her head. "What's there to know?" I asked. "You know a lot about me, and I barely know anything about you."

"Yeah? Ask me what your favorite movie is," she demanded.

I raised an eyebrow. "What's my favorite movie?" I indulged reluctantly.

"_I don't fucking know_," she answered in a huff, and pushed lightly against my chest so that my arms instantly fell to my sides.

"That's trivial, insignificant shit, Bella. What's really important, you already know," I said, and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Like that I care about you…"

Our eyes were locked, her dark depths penetrating me with emotion that I'd seen so rarely from her. The anger I'd felt from yesterday, that had seeped into this morning, evaporated in an instant, and I no longer could think about anything but what was in front of me.

"Will you come to the shack later tonight?" she asked softly, and my heart skipped a beat at this gentler side of Bella.

"Will anyone else be there?" I hoped there wouldn't be.

She shook her head, giving me the answer I wanted.

"Do you want me to?" I questioned.

Slowly, she nodded.

"How cute," a voice nearby said cynically, instantly breaking us out of our bubble.

We both turned and saw Jessica standing nearby with her hands on her hips. She was dressed in her cheerleading outfit; her skirt was much shorter than it should've been. Bella immediately put some distance between us, causing me to clench my jaw.

"Jessica, go back to your dick sucking," Bella snapped.

"I should be saying the same thing to you," she replied, and eyed me up and down with a smirk. "How long has _this_ been going on?" She gestured her hand to me.

"Nothing is going on," Bella corrected quickly.

There she went again, always fucking rejecting me. The fucked up part was that I was beginning to get used to it.

"Could've fooled me," Jessica said, walking closer to us. "The golden boy and the rebellious girl. Hmm. You know, there's some heavy gossip going around about you two."

"I don't really care," Bella voiced, but tensed slightly as she stood next to me.

Jessica chuckled. "That's good. So, then, I guess I'll confirm the rumor that you two are dating," she said, and quickly spun on her heel.

"Fuck," Bella whispered under her breath. "Jessica, you better fucking fix that or I swear to God..." Her harsh, vicious tone trailed. Jessica froze and turned, crossing her arms over her chest. "You know the deal."

Jessica's eyes turned to slits. "One day, Robert is going to make you wish you guys never tried to mess with him."

Bella snorted. "Banner—excuse me, _Robert_—is too busy fucking a stupid cheerleader to give a shit about getting us back. Believe me."

Jessica huffed and glanced away. "Whatever," she muttered.

"Fix it or I'll fix you," Bella threatened.

Jessica stomped off, grumbling to herself the entire time. I had to admit, the power Bella seemed to have over people was amazing. All she had to do sometimes was look at someone and they'd cower. I could see why people were afraid of her, but then again, I really couldn't. Maybe it was because I got to see glimpses of other sides she masked—sweet sides, sexy sides. I liked all her sides.

"I better go," Bella said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I nodded, and she took one last look at me before walking towards the door that led to the parking lot.

"Hey," I called out, and she stopped, turning to face me. "_The Grapes of Wrath_." She cocked her head to the side, looking as if she was thinking hard about something. "It's a 1940s—"

"I know," she interjected swiftly, and turned back around, but before she did, I caught something that warmed my entire body.

She smiled.

X-X-X-X

When school was over, I noticed Emmett digging around in his Jeep for something. So, after I tossed my bag in my car, I came up behind him and crossed my arms over my chest as he remained oblivious to my presence.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

He jumped about a mile high, his head hitting the bar that acted as its non-existent roof, and then backed out. He rubbed the top of his head as he faced me. There was no usual smile that greeted me; there was no lame joke or remark about whacking his head. His stance was stiff, and his muscular arms became more defined as he crossed them in front of himself.

"Nothing," he answered stiffly.

I raised an eyebrow to him. "What's up? Did you lose those glow in the dark condoms you said you wanted to try with Rose?" I asked with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood with something I knew he'd respond to…but his expression remained serious. Actually, if anything, he seemed to tense.

"I'm looking for my goggles," he replied.

"Alright, well, let me help you," I offered, beginning to move closer to his car, until I realized something. "Wait…why would you be looking for your goggles?"

"I'm sure you'll get it eventually," he said coldly, before he attempted to turn to look in his Jeep again, but I grabbed hold of his arm.

"Hey," I said, concerned over his behavior. "What's going on? Why are you acting weird?"

A flash of anger crossed over his face, and then just as quickly, faded into defeat. "Do you know what day it is today?" he questioned.

What did the day have to do with anything? "Yeah, it's Thursday, why?" I asked in reply.

"What happens on Thursdays?" he inquired, waiting for an answer from me, but I was starting to think he'd lost his marbles by asking me this. He huffed and pushed against my shoulder. "_Swim practice_."

"Aw, shit," I cursed under my breath. "Fuck, I completely forgot." And I left my fucking swim gear at home, too. I wondered if I had enough time to go home and get it. "I gotta go get my gear."

"Relax," he said instantly.

"Why?" I questioned, but my brain was trying to decipher how many minutes it would take to drive to the house and back.

"There's no practice," he admitted. "It was canceled today at the last minute."

I breathed a sigh of relief, my body relaxing. How did I not know there wasn't any practice today? I mean, what the fuck? "Okay…good," I said in an exhale.

"But there was one yesterday."

My brow furrowed. "Are you shitting me right now?" I barked, and he shook his head. "How was there practice yesterday, when I didn't even know about it?"

"Well, Coach told us about the schedule change at the practice before that."

Oh, no fucking way. This had to be a joke. "He never said that at the practice before," I countered.

He scratched the back of his head, taking a moment to respond. "You weren't at that practice."

"Yes, I was," I shot back, my temper flaring. "We started out with a three hundred meter warm up—one hundred of freestyle, one hundred of backstroke, and one hundred of butterfly."

He shook his head with a frown. "That was two weeks ago."

I ran both hands through my hair, gripping the roots. Fuck. Had I not gone to last week's practice? "Okay, well, that's two practices I've missed. No big deal. It's not like it's three—" I cut my self off abruptly when I saw his eyes flash away.

"The last practice was on Sunday. That's when Coach told us about the schedule change."

"Sunday?" I balked. "_Sunday_? The weekend of Homecoming? You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Coach had said that if we missed three practices, we were off the team. But this couldn't apply to me, right? I mean, I practically won all the meets for them. There was no one else like me on the team. No, he'd go easy on me; I was sure of it.

"I've gotta go talk to Coach," I said with determination.

"I'll come with you," he offered, and shut the door to his Jeep.

As everyone filed out of the building and towards their cars, we made our way inside and to the gym. When we got to the locker room, Emmett said he'd wait for me outside the door, so I went inside, alone, and approached Coach's closed office door at the back.

I was fairly confident in myself, but I couldn't help the tiniest sliver of doubt that loomed in the air as I neared.

Knocking twice on the door, I waited for him to answer. After a few moments, there was a click of the lock, but no movement of the door. I assumed, from that, that I was allowed to enter, so I pushed against the wood slowly.

He was sitting at his desk, reading a newspaper, and didn't acknowledge my entrance.

I cleared my throat. "Coach?" I asked.

He lifted his eyes from the paper and set it down. "Cullen, what are you doing here?" he questioned, no hint of anger in his tone. That was good. I was in the clear.

Breathing a tiny sigh in relief, I relaxed my tense body. "Well, I just wanted to clear up my absences for the last few practices. You see, I wasn't aware there were any—"

"There's nothing I can do about that, Cullen," he interrupted, causing me to furrow my brow.

"What do you mean?" I queried.

"You know the rules," he stated.

A moment passed as I let that sink in. Was he implying what I thought? "Yeah, I know the rules, but…come on," I said with a humorous chuckle. "I mean, you're not really saying that I'm kicked off the team just because I missed a few practices."

He arched an eyebrow at me. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

My expression fell instantly into a fierce scowl. This had better be a fucking prank or something, otherwise I was going to go batshit, here. "I'm the best swimmer you've got," I snapped. "You can't just kick me off the team. I can swim circles around those idiots any day, and you know it."

He stood and placed his palms on his desk as he leaned over it. "I don't play favorites, Cullen. Just because you're fast, doesn't mean I'm gonna let you slide on the rules that you've known since you started on the team your freshman year."

"So, that's just it, huh? I'm off the team?" I asked. I felt like my fucking veins were about to pop.

"Yeah, that's just it," he said with a shrug, as if this shit didn't even matter. Well, it fucking mattered to me!

It wasn't like I wanted to be a goddamn Olympic gold medalist, but I did like swimming. It was an outlet to a lot of my frustrations, and something I was known for around the school. Without being on the team, I was…well…I wasn't fucking anything.

"Big mistake, Coach," I warned. "When you lose your next meet, you're gonna wish you didn't let me go." With that, I stormed out of his office, my fists clenching, my fingers digging so fucking hard into my palms.

When I shoved open the door, exiting from the locker room, Emmett was waiting, just like he'd said he would.

"How'd it go?" he asked eagerly, walking along side of me as I kept up a furious pace.

"I'm off the team," I answered begrudgingly. "Can you believe the fucking nerve of that guy actually kicking me off? I mean, it's me, for fuck's sake."

"Whoa," he said, jutting his arm out to stop me from walking. I groaned and clenched my teeth. "You actually got kicked off?"

"Isn't that what I fucking said?" I spat loudly.

"Hey, don't yell at me, man," he said, backing up a bit. "I'm just as shocked as you."

I laughed bitterly. "But you're definitely not as _angry_ as me, now, are you? In fact, I think this is something you've dreamed about for a long time," I accused.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I glared viciously at him. I was enraged and he was in my way. He was going to get the full wrath of my anger. "It means that you've always wished you could be the number one swimmer on the team, but you never got the chance, because it was always me. Not to mention, you're big as fuck. I'm surprised most of the time you don't fucking sink to the bottom of the pool."

He looked at me as if I had two heads, a flash of pain crossing his expression. "Are you out of your mind? And are you actually accusing me of being jealous of you?"

"Well, look at you, being all smart for once," I shot at him. "Who the hell didn't tell me about those practices, huh?" I was livid that he didn't tell me this ahead of time. He was supposed to be my best friend, after all. Didn't friends tell each other shit like this?

He laughed humorlessly and took another step back. "I can't even believe you right now. You think it was my responsibility to tell you about those practices?"

"I would've fucking told you about those practices," I retaliated.

"Yeah right," he said. "When would you have found the time? Especially considering you're trying to be all cool by sitting with a bunch of idiots at lunch who get their kicks from bullying everyone."

I guffawed loudly at that. "You're actually calling them idiots? Does that include Bella? Because if I'm not mistaken, you have a bit of a thing for her, don't you? Does Rose know?" I smirked cockily at him, causing his face to redden in anger. He knew I had him there. And I knew that he was envious that I was the one that got Bella over everyone that wanted her.

"Bella is all cool to look at from afar, but we all know the real deal with her," he said. "I wouldn't want to be with a girl like her, especially with as much as she gets around."

Without wasting a second, I shoved him as hard as I could, sheer rage brewing inside me at his statement. He crashed into the wall behind him. I was fucking seething. My head felt hot as shit and the skin on my knuckles were white from clenching my fists so hard.

No one—_no one_—talked about her like that. I didn't give a fuck who the hell he was. He could've been the fucking pope right now and I'd still want to sock him so hard he saw God.

"You shut your fucking mouth," I spat, pointing a finger at him in warning.

He regarded me with shocked, wide eyes. "You've gone completely psycho," he shouted. "Listen to yourself. You know she's not only with Jacob Black, but she's been with Newton, Crowe, and some of the other guys on the football team and even the swim team."

I grabbed the front of his shirt, trying with everything that I had not to do what I wanted, which was to punch the lights out of this fucker. Our friendship was barely hanging on by a thread as it was, and for the sake of that, I had to control myself, even though he was crossing a fucking line right now.

"You don't know a damn thing about her," I growled.

"Do you?" he asked, and tore my hand away from its death grip on his shirt. "I mean, you're sitting with her at lunch, screwing her, spending every second with her. What about your _actual _friends?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Yeah, my friends who only care about their fucking status or the latest gossip."

"No," he responded, "the friends who spent your birthday with you and took a lot of time figuring out the right gifts to get you. The friends who are freaking out because they don't know how to approach you or Tanya after you broke up, because both of you are acting different. The friends who have been there for you since freshman year. The friends who are all upset you're choosing to hang with other people instead of them. You're throwing that all away for some chick, who is hot but has _serious_ issues."

I took several steps away from him, narrowing my eyes. "You all want that guy who got the perfect fucking grades, listened to his daddy on what he wanted to do in life, and went out with some fake blonde. I'm not him anymore and I never will be again, so you guys can just move the hell on and forget it."

He huffed, shaking his head. A look of pure hatred crossed his face, and I knew instantly that this was the end for us. "Well, then, maybe I don't want to be friends with whoever you seem to be now. Because all I see is a guy hanging out with low-life losers who probably don't even care whether he's dead or alive, or a guy who intimidates people that don't deserve it, or even a guy that is too blind to see that his girl has him by the balls while he follows her around like a puppy. I bet that guy doesn't even have the guts to ask her why exactly she was gone her freshman year. He's too obsessed with sticking his dick in her to remotely question that something's not right about her."

That was it. That was the final straw. He'd not only crossed the line, but he'd sprinted past it. I'd known this guy since I started school; we'd met and instantly hit it off, but right now, I wished I'd never met the dipshit. I fucking hated him.

"We're done," I said in finality. "We're through. You better fucking watch yourself."

"Is that a threat or something? You seem to be good at those lately," he countered, glaring daggers at me.

"Yeah, that's a threat," I replied. "If you see me and my guys—fucking walk the other way, because I swear, you're gonna end up with a dent in your face."

Our cold eyes burrowed into each other—once best buds; now two strangers—and then we walked in opposite directions, the last thread to my former self officially snapping.

X-X-X-X

The sun finally began to set as I waited in my bedroom for night fall. As soon as the moon fully came out, I'd be out of here.

Normally, my parents wouldn't let me go out on a school night with people they didn't know, but I didn't think they had a say anymore, especially with this whole "I'm an adult" deal that I loved so much. Plus, it wasn't like I was going to tell them I was leaving, anyway. They'd just have to deal with it when the time came.

After a long shower, I threw on my black jeans, a white shirt, and my leather jacket. Just as I pushed my cigarettes deep into my pocket, I could hear the door bell ring, followed by familiar voices.

The Denalis.

Fucking hell. Were they doing another stupid dinner? If they thought I'd actually stay for that shit, they'd better fucking think otherwise.

Just as I opened my door, Jasper came out of his room down the hall. He glanced at me once before his expression turned hard and he walked toward the stairs.

_Fucking prick. _

I stepped out of my room at the same time he walked by, and then I crashed my shoulder into his purposefully.

He stopped walking abruptly, glaring at me. "What the hell?" he asked.

I smirked and made my way down the stairs without a backwards glance. "My bad. Guess I should watch where I'm going," I threw over my shoulder sarcastically.

While grabbing my keys, I caught a glimpse of Tanya's curly hair as she took a seat at the dining table with her parents and mine. Jasper passed me, ignoring me completely, and went to the dining table, as well.

"I mean, what do they need all that land for, especially with the deal I'm offering them?" I heard Mr. Denali question.

"Yes, I'd say so," my father agreed.

"Honey, why don't you have some dinner with us," my mom called out when she saw me about to open the front door.

I groaned quietly to myself. "No, I'm good," I replied.

"Your mother is inviting you, Edward," my father said, giving me the eye that insinuated that if I didn't sit down, I'd get a mouthful from him later.

"Thanks, but I've got _adult_ places to be," I said, reminding him of what he'd decided just yesterday.

He arched an eyebrow and turned back to Mr. Denali, picking up conversation again.

"You haven't said one word to Tanya," my mom brought up solemnly.

I glanced at Tanya, who was staring down into her plate as she pushed her food around. _Oh, this is gonna be good._ "Well, that's probably because I broke up with her a couple weeks ago," I revealed with a cocky smile, and then opened the door as forks clattered onto plates and feminine gasps sounded.

Walking outside, whistling vicariously to myself, I could hear Mrs. Denali bitching at Tanya, and it was like music to my ears. No sooner than thirty seconds later, while I unlocked my Mustang, the front door to the house opened and a fiercely angry Tanya came bounding toward me.

"Why would you do that?" she asked in a hiss.

"Because some of us like to live in _reality_," I pointed out, aggravated that she was even speaking to me.

"Reality? You think you're living in reality and I'm not?" she yelled in question. "You have no idea what I'm going through right now. None!"

"Spare me the pathetic pity party, Tanya. I really could care less what you're going through," I shot back dryly, and went to open my car door, when she moved to stand in front of it. "Move the hell away from my car, before I make you."

Not listening to me, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I get you hate me, and that's fine," she said, "but you never even asked why I did what I did."

"Why would I want to know? You cheated on me—end of story. Now, move," I demanded, my anger growing. It was completely dark outside now, the black night wafting over us, which meant I had somewhere to fucking be.

"I think you and I have more in common than you realize, Edward," she started, ignoring me, again. "We've both been told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. And we both got sick of it. When I first went to Italy, I was miserable. I couldn't speak the language, and everything was just different to America. I didn't understand it all. But then, I met Demetri-"

"Fuck no, Tanya," I growled, pissed off. I didn't fucking want to hear about some guy she fucked. I was over it all. "I'm not listening to this shit."

"God, grow up, will you?" she asked in a huff. "It'll take only two minutes, and then you can go."

I let out a throaty groan and took a step back, putting some distance between us, and then gestured a hand for her to continue. The sooner she told me her stupid story, the sooner I could leave.

"Thank you," she said. "Anyway, I was in Turin and I met him when Kate, Irina, and I went out for drinks one night. Um…" She shifted her eyes away. "It was the night I talked to you on the phone. He was older and well-traveled, so his English was great, but he was born and raised in Turin. I had too many drinks that night, just being…well, not me for once. I don't know if it was the alcohol or being far away from home and vulnerable—" she sighed wistfully "—but he swept me off my feet."

My jaw tightened. Even though I was over her, it was still a fucking kick to my balls to hear this. "Great story," I said cynically. "I'm leaving now."

"I'm not done," she huffed, and continued. "We spent every second we could together after that. He taught me about the culture, about the food. He was so religious, and I just ate everything up he said. I honestly fell in love with him. I wanted to think he did with me, too, especially because he said all this stuff about being together.

"When I got back to America, I know I was acting weird. It was because I thought he was serious about being with me. I was in love with this guy, but then I was with you. I began to feel guilty and I was confused more than ever, because you and I got along so well and I really liked you, but I never really felt that…I don't know…that connection.

"It was different with Demetri. It was spontaneous and passionate—two things I'd never experienced before." Her mood instantly changed, turning a mixture of dark and regretful. "A little while after I got back, I tried calling him. A woman picked up the phone, and…it turned out he was _married_." She shook her head, looking as if she was fighting back tears. "I couldn't even believe how naïve I'd been, and then on top of that, I was pushing you away.

"I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry," she said in a sigh, and then looked at me meaningfully, longing swimming in her eyes. "And I know we broke up, but I just want you to know that I started to genuinely fall in love with you after everything that happened, because I realized how constant you were, how sweet you were. I took all that for granted, and I'll never forgive myself for what I did."

As soon as she stopped speaking, I spent a moment collecting myself, and then took a step toward her slowly, backing her completely against the side of the car. Our eyes remained locked deeply, and I could see her chest rise and fall rapidly as I placed my hands on either side of her against the car. My face was a breath away from hers, and she tilted hers up, her pink, moist lips slightly pouting in anticipation.

"If you thought for one second that I would feel sorry and get back together with you after your little story, then you're wrong," I whispered calmly, but sinisterly. "Because all you did was show me even more how desperate and pathetic you are."

Her eyes turned cold in a flash, and she shook her head. "You know, I tried to make things better between us, to at least try to be friends, but now I see there's no point," she said, and pushed against my chest to move out of the cage my arms had her in. "You're a hypocrite, Edward. I may have cheated on you, but I saw the way you looked at _her_ way before I left." I was surprised at her observation, but the mention of Bella pissed me off even more and overruled my shock. "So, you can judge me all you want, but at some point, you have to admit that you've changed, and not for the better. I was starting to like this new side of you, but, frankly, I don't now. You're a heartless, self-absorbed _dick_."

I chuckled darkly, shaking my head in amusement. "That was some speech, Tanya," I quipped. "But if you want to name-call, here's only one word that describes you perfectly." I smiled sinisterly. "_Slut_."

She gasped, her eyes widening, then turned to slits. "The guy I used to know, the one that seems to be lost somewhere inside of you, would've never called me something like that."

"I guess we're all full of surprises, aren't we?" I questioned, regarding her with meaning, and then opened my car door. She didn't even try to block me again as I brought the engine to life with a roar and backed out of the driveway.

My hands were wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel, that I thought I might break it. But fifteen minutes later, when I began to approach the school, the tension in my body seemingly relaxed, and Bella's luminescent face took up residency in my mind.

The parking lot was empty, except for Bella's truck. I parked directly next to it, thinking to myself how good our cars looked side by side.

The woods were quiet, dark, and even creepier than ever. I took out my lighter from my pocket and was able to spot the vague trail that led to the shack; although, I'd been getting more familiar with the area.

There was a dim light illuminating the inside of the shack that I could see through the window as I stepped up to the doorway. When I stood at the threshold and looked inside, sure enough, Bella was sitting at the makeshift table, her eyes downcast. She had a book in her hand and was reading quietly, unaware of my presence.

The corners of my mouth turned up minutely as I regarded her in secret, the light from the single candle dancing across her face. There was something about her that drew me in, and I didn't know what, but I knew it was a good thing.

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why we hadn't known each other before this year. I wished that I had, because maybe we'd be in a different place by now. Maybe…we'd be together, officially, with no miscommunications and no hesitations. It was wishful thinking on my part, but it didn't seem too outlandish.

"Hey," I said softly, not wanting to scare her.

Her gentle eyes lifted from her book and onto mine. She smiled and carefully set the book down on the table. "Hi," she greeted back, almost shyly.

I took a couple steps to her and eyed her book. "What are you reading?" I was intrigued at what she would be interested in filling her mind with. Instead of answering, she allowed me to sit directly next to her on the crate and pick up the book. "_An Edible History of Humanity_," I read out loud, pretty impressed at her choice. "What's it about?"

"You can read the back cover, you know," she said in her usual sarcastic voice, but I could tell there was a hint of playfulness there.

I set the book down and angled toward her. "Yeah, I could do that, but why would I when you could just tell me?" I countered with a lopsided smirk.

She rolled her eyes and fiddled with the glossy cover of the book. "It's pretty self-explanatory. It just goes into how food has shaped and structured civilizations through the ages."

I couldn't keep my fingers from brushing the hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear. She stiffened slightly, but just as quickly relaxed. "That sounds like it touches a lot on history itself," I remarked.

"A lot, yeah," she replied timidly.

"It looks interesting. Maybe I could borrow it sometime."

Her dark eyes remained on mine for a moment, before they dropped to the book and she nodded. "Okay," she said meekly.

There was something different going on here. I couldn't quite pin it, but she seemed like an entirely different person right now—more humane, I suppose. She wasn't this enigma to me anymore; she was someone that I was beginning to understand more and more. I could tell she was a very guarded person and whatever secrets she kept buried deep within her would only be shared if she trusted me, if she knew me, and especially if I knew her.

Whenever I'd find out these little tidbits about her interests, I'd eat it up. She was so multi-faceted, and I knew that I wanted to delve deeper into finding out just how much.

"Is cooking your favorite subject in school?" I asked, sparking a conversation.

She kept her eyes down, but her body slightly angled towards me. "Yes," she answered, looking vulnerable. It was almost like she was willing to be open with me for once. I didn't know how long it would last, but I was going to take advantage…with caution. There were specific things I wanted to know about her, but I needed to start out small for now. Baby steps.

"Is that the only subject you like?" I questioned.

She shook her head in the negative. "I like anything to do with history, science, math, and literature."

I chuckled quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the night around us. "So, that basically means every subject in school," I noted.

She smiled minutely. "No," she replied. "I don't like P.E."

"Well, then, it's good you don't show up," I remarked, and her small smile instantly fell. Damnit…there went taking baby steps. Screw it; I'd already brought it up. "Why don't you go to classes if you like most of the subjects?"

Her hard expression she usually wore began to surface, and I wished I knew how to permanently keep her happy all the time. "I just don't like it," she answered.

"You don't like school?"

"No, I don't like everyone there," she admitted.

I raised an eyebrow, trying to understand what she meant. "What's wrong with the people there that wouldn't make you want to go to class?"

She began to fiddle even more with the book cover. I could tell she wasn't enjoying this questioning, so I gently grabbed her hand, holding it in mine. Slowly, she relaxed, her shoulders less tense than before. "If I'm there, they talk about me, but if I'm not there, they talk about me less," she revealed.

I knew this to be true. Whenever she made an appearance, people would talk about her, and rumors would start, but when she was gone, the gossip would lessen. However, I never would've thought this was a reason why she refused to attend most of the time.

I wanted desperately to ask her why she didn't want them to talk about her, but I needed to stick to taking baby steps. "And you don't like when they talk about you," I observed.

She shrugged. "I don't usually care what they say. They come up with the shittiest, stupidest things ever about me, but…" Her voice trailed in hesitancy. I could tell she was going to hold back.

"But, what?" I pressed, rubbing her soft knuckles with the pad of my thumb. She glanced down at our joined hands. "You can tell me." My tone was gentle, soothing. I hoped this would let her know that she could trust me. I wanted her to trust me so badly.

"I'm afraid that if I'm there, that they'll…find out something about me that I don't want them to know," she revealed.

And there it was, no longer an assumption. She had a secret that she didn't want known, and I was fairly certain now that this was something the guys knew, too, since they all protected her. I also noted that she said "something," meaning it was one thing specifically. My innate curious nature wanted to know, but, again, I wanted her, more than anything, to trust me.

Seeing that she was getting uncomfortable, I decided to stray a bit from this topic. "So, all the rumors about you aren't true?" I inquired, even though I already knew the answer, mostly. I figured most were created by people with big imaginations, but there were definitely a few I was curious about.

She shrugged, a little more comfortable now. "Depends," she replied.

Well…that wasn't reassuring in the least. "Okay…" I trailed off. "What about that one that said you were arrested for punching a cop?"

Her nose wrinkled up slightly. "Well, I wasn't arrested," she answered vaguely.

"What about the cop part?" I asked curiously.

She nodded, causing my eyes to widen. "Yeah, I did that," she confirmed.

"And you weren't arrested for that?"

"No."

I set both of our hands in my lap and continued rubbing, sensing she was getting uncomfortable again. But she wasn't the only one uncomfortable, considering the question I was about to ask. "What about that rumor with you and Mike Newton?" I inquired, trying not to stiffen at the thought of her intimate with him or anyone else.

She snorted, looking rather amused. "I've been with Mike Newton as many times as I've been to church," she said, and I furrowed my brow. "That means I haven't been with him, Richie."

"Oh," I said quietly, and now it was her who was rubbing my knuckles. Electric currents of warmth shot through me, igniting a slight shiver.

"He bugs the hell out of me," she admitted. "Every time I see him, he stares at me like some creep."

I smirked slightly. "I wonder why," I said sarcastically. Mike only thought with his dick.

She raised any eyebrow at me. "Why?" she questioned.

I wasn't sure if she wanted me to spell it out for her or whether she genuinely didn't know, but that wasn't going to stop me from answering. "It's because you're you," I answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"_I'm me_?" she queried, and chuckled. "What the hell does that mean?"

I sighed. She was really going to make me spell it out. "It's because every guy thinks you're hot…and sexy…and…" her large eyes seared into mine, and I became lost within her irises "…and beautiful…"

She glanced away, appearing nervous. "Well, I don't think they—"

"I broke up with Tanya," I blurted unexpectedly, cutting her off. _Fuck, man! Why couldn't I have kept my damn mouth shut?_ But then I wondered why I didn't want her to know I was single, and it suddenly didn't make sense anymore to keep that from her.

Her body tensed instantly, and I tried to rub her knuckles again, but she pulled her hand out of mine, setting it down in her own lap. "I…" she started, her voice tapering off at the end. She seemed deep in thought. After a moment of silence, I was positive that I screwed this up. She was going to detach from me like she'd done before. But then her shoulders eased, and she brought her hair around to the front, toying with the ends. "Why?"

She was really asking me that? To me, it was painfully obvious why I broke up with Tanya, but apparently, not to her. It was a bunch of reasons, to be honest. A lot of it boiled down to us wanting different things, but I knew the dominant reason, which had little to do with that. The dominant reason was sitting right in front of me. However…could I tell her this?

_Baby steps_, my mind kept scolding me.

"It was a combination of many things," I began, "but we just weren't right for each other anymore." That was simple enough, right?

She seemed to accept this answer, but not a moment later, her expression shifted, her brow furrowed, and she cast me an inquiring look. "What was the combination of many things?" she asked.

"Um," I fumbled, not expecting her to ask me that. "I guess we were good together when we had a lot more in common, like our parents getting together a lot, or us having the same friends, or even having the same goals." She nodded, and looked to the side of me, a flash of dejection crossing her face. "But that all changed."

"Yeah," she said softly, seeming as if she was in her own little world.

I brought my hand up to her face, angling it to me again. She avoided my eyes, but as soon as I caressed her cheek with my thumb, her deep pools found mine. "I just want you," I spoke with conviction.

Her eyes sparkled with moisture. "I'm a bad person, Edward," she said, seeming so broken and helpless…so different to how she normally was. But I was quickly seeing that the tough act was all a mask. The Bella sitting before me wasn't tough or mean…she was a reserved, timid, vulnerable girl.

"You're not," I assured. How could someone as angelic as her be bad?

She shook her head, and then placed her hand over mine that was still resting on her cheek. She brought it down into her lap, tightening her grip. "I am," she countered, appearing hopeless. "You're good—too good—and you deserve good things. Me, on the other hand…" her eyes became distant and glassy "…I have to live with what I've done for the rest of my life."

My chest throbbed at her admission. I didn't know how to respond to that. She seemed so sad, and I wanted to take all her pain away. I also wanted to stop the slight fear that suddenly took over me. My mind was asking a million questions. _What had she done? Was it illegal? Could this hinder her life in the future?_ I wanted—needed—it to stop because…this was Bella. Whatever she'd done…she was still her, and I was still crazy about her, beyond belief.

As if sensing my inner turmoil, she began to remove her hand from mine, most likely assuming I'd changed my mind about her or something, but she couldn't have been more wrong.

I tightened my grip and laced my fingers with hers. No matter what she'd done, I was here. She couldn't get rid of me that easily. There was nothing—absolutely nothing—that would stop me from feeling the way I did about her.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," I breathed, and decided to take a risk—one that my body and mind told me was right.

I shifted on the crate, leaning forward at snail's pace. She didn't move away abruptly or tell me to stop, and I was sure she would because it was evident what I was about to do. She remained still, her eyes in a trance as she stared into mine.

The closer I grew, the more I could tell that her breathing was slightly labored, almost as much as mine. No doubt, I was nervous. The pain of rejection was something I was becoming familiar with from her, but at this moment, I felt safe from it.

When our noses barely touched, I stopped purposefully. I wanted to give her an out. She was free to pull away right now, and I wouldn't dare try this again. So, when she didn't pull away, I took that as a sign.

She wanted this.

I wanted this.

Without further delay, I pressed my lips to hers gently. They were everything I'd imagined—soft, warm, inviting. She didn't respond, and I started to worry, until I felt the tiniest push against my lips.

She was kissing me back.

The floodgate had now been opened. I captured her moist top lip, while she sucked on my bottom. My heart was thumping a million miles per hour. I didn't want to let go of her hand, but I also wanted to hold her face like I'd desperately wanted to so many times before. So, I did.

I tiled her head to the side, gaining better access to her mouth. The only sounds that could be heard were the rustling of the light breeze brushing against the trees and our lips moving in tandem. They were the sweetest sounds in the world.

Finally, after some unmeasured amount of time, I slowly pulled back and rested my forehead against hers, listening to our uneven breathing.

For the first time, I felt so certain about something in my life. When I was with Bella, I was a different person. I was everything I wanted to be. She was my reason for even breathing right now. And that thought alone proved one thing for me: there was no way I could wake up tomorrow without her in my life. I needed to know her as much as I needed food or water.

I was certain I was falling for her—there was no doubt in my mind. Though I was tumbling down what seemed like a never ending abyss of strong emotions, I knew, deep within, that she would be waiting for me at the bottom.

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**A/N: **

**There was some bad stuff in this chapter, but I hope the ending more than made up for it. Bella took a big step, believe me. **

**Let's recap a bit, because I know a lot happened: Carlisle gave Edward the reins to his life, Edward got kicked off the swim team, Emmett and he ended their friendship, Tanya clued him in on what went down with her in Italy, and then Bella and Edward—finally—shared a kiss. **

**Teasers for those that review. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **

**Thanks for sticking with me, guys. You all had a lot to say with the last chapter. I think you might have even more with this one. **

**Beta is Lindz26. Renas40 is my pre-reader.  


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**

**_WARNING: this chapter has some violence. _

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**

Since my kiss with Bella last night, I'd been on cloud nine. It was all I could think about. Not to mention, something had fundamentally shifted between us. She was much happier after that and even spoke some more to me about the book she was reading, as well as told me about some other things she was interested in, which was a _lot_.

Reading was something she did frequently, so there was quite a bit of knowledge in her head. Most people would feel intimidated by that, but I found myself liking her more because of it. If she went to her classes, I was sure she'd ace them all without the help of a controversial video.

We'd parted on a good note, sneaking in one more short but sweet kiss by our cars, before we went our separate ways for the night.

I wasn't sure what that made us, but all I kept telling myself was to just give it time. If I started labeling what we were, I was afraid she'd bolt. Plus, I didn't want to ruin a good thing. I'd wanted to kiss her since we started our indistinguishable relationship, and now I finally could.

Flicking my cigarette butt out the window, I pulled into the bustling school lot. I looked briefly in my rear-view mirror and spotted her truck two cars behind me. So, instead of parking in my usual space, I parked right next to where I knew she usually liked her truck to be.

Just as I was getting out of my Mustang, she pulled in, and I didn't waste any time walking around to her side and opening the door, even though I knew she didn't like when I did stuff like that for her. I had to have my damn way at some point, right?

"Hey," she greeted, swinging her legs out of the truck, but didn't hop out as I leaned against the door. "Switching up your parking habits?" She smirked playfully at me.

I shrugged. "Maybe," I said coolly, trying my best to contain the smile that was itching to break free from my lips.

Since I'd been thinking all night about our kiss, I knew that as soon as I saw her this morning, I'd want to do it again…and I was right.

Not able to control myself, I leaned into her, desperately wanting to feel the warmth of her lips on mine again, but was quickly stopped with a finger pressed to my mouth. She dragged her index finger down my chin, neck, and to the collar of my leather jacket, fiddling with it languidly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little put out she didn't want to kiss me.

The corner of her mouth lifted, which seemed to settle the negative feeling in my stomach. "In two minutes, meet me around the side of the gym," she propositioned, and then pushed me back to hop out of her truck.

I arched an eyebrow, wondering why I couldn't just go with her now. She merely shut the door and walked away. The lust-filled look she cast me over her shoulder indicated that she did, in fact, want to kiss me.

I waited anxiously for exactly one hundred and twenty seconds before I walked ultra casually to where I knew she would be. She was leaning against the bricks, regarding me closely as I turned the corner.

There was no greeting; there was no smile. We simply gravitated to each other and crashed our lips together, hands in hair, lips wet and pulling frantically. It was a fight for dominance. I backed her against the wall; she flipped us around, pushing me roughly against the bricks.

Our tongues both peeked out at the same time, searching yearningly for its mate. She tasted like warm cigarettes and mint toothpaste. I never wanted to forget that taste, so I took advantage, sliding my tongue everywhere around hers in her mouth.

She let out a wispy moan, which vibrated against my lips, and then pulled back a fraction to catch her breath. "God…I've been thinking about doing that all night," she admitted, holding onto my hair for dear life.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that," I replied in several pants, and pecked her lips briefly before peppering kisses across her soft cheek.

There was a swift movement in my peripheral vision, and as I brushed my nose against her cherry blossom scented hair, I discreetly gazed in that direction, which came from the bushes. But whatever had been there before was gone now, and I was starting to think I'd imagined a person there. It could've just been the trees rustling from the wind.

Pulling back all the way, I tucked her hair behind her ear. "Let's skip school," I suggested on a whim.

She chuckled and detached her hands from my hair, running it down to my chest. "What about Cooking?"

I shrugged. "We'll ditch it, too," I said. I was sure Mrs. Cope wouldn't miss me much, being that I always seemed to ruin every dish somehow.

She shook her head. "No, that's the only class I don't skip," she replied seriously.

I cupped her chin and brushed my thumb over her swollen red lips. "Alright, fine," I said in a sigh. "We can be back by Cooking, if you want."

She laughed, appearing rather amused. "I'm a bad influence on you, Richie," she observed, and detached herself from me.

I rolled my eyes, choosing to ignore that. "Where should we go?"

She pursed her beautiful lips, thinking for a moment, and then spun around on her heel. "Follow me," she instructed as she walked towards the bushes.

And, of course, I followed her. My eyes scanned over the back of her body as I trailed behind her steps through the woods. Her feminine curves were defined by her slim fitting jeans and tank top. Without even knowing it, her hips swayed slightly as she walked. She was so sexy. I tried to train my eyes to the back of her head so that I wasn't tempted to just take her against one of these big ass trees.

We walked by the shack and into the clearing. I thought for sure her steps would falter, but they didn't. She continued on, trekking across the clearing and into more woods.

"Where are we going?" I asked, finally breaking our silence.

"You're gonna see in a second," she said, not bothering to even glance over her shoulder to look at me.

A few minutes later, I could hear the sounds of the rough ocean, as well as see the end of the forest. Blurred memories flashed in my brain of walking through this very area not too long ago.

When we came out onto the cliff, an uncomfortable feeling protruded in the pit of my stomach. She stopped right at the edge, gazing down into the distant ocean below. Her hair was flowing along with the breeze, and I could see goose bumps forming on her pale arms.

Taking a few cautious steps, I stood next to her, following her line of sight. Directly below us were sharp jagged rocks.

I'd jumped this cliff.

I could've died.

That thought alone made me want to take a step back. Bella, on the other hand, was quite natural as she continued her thoughtful stare.

"Why'd you bring me here?" I asked.

She lifted her eyes, now looking out toward the horizon. "Sometimes I like to come here, just to think," she admitted, and sat, her legs dangling over the ledge.

I kept my eyes on her profile as I took a seat next to her, a small amount of space between us. We fell into a comfortable silence. I could tell she was immersed in her own private thoughts. I wanted so badly for her to share them with me, but I knew how guarded she was, and she still needed to trust me.

"Edward," she spoke softly after a moment. My name rolled off her tongue so easily, and it caused my heart to skip a bit. "Have you ever loved something but hated it so much at the same time?"

I furrowed my brow, unsure what had brought on this musing. "No," I answered. "I always figured, either you love something or you hate it."

She chuckled quietly and looked down at her lap. "Yeah, you'd think," she mumbled, and then glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. "How's the directing?"

"The directing?" I asked.

"You said you wanted to direct. How's that going?"

I tore my eyes away from her and watched the dark blue ocean. "It's not going."

"Why not?"

I shrugged in response, brushing it off. I didn't really want to talk about this.

"That's a shame," she observed quietly.

We were silent again, my mood completely sunken. If I spoke, I was afraid my sudden change in attitude would drive Bella away. So, I stared off into the sea, my thoughts empty.

"When I jumped this, I remember wanting to feel nothing but falling through the air and landing in the water," she spoke with conviction. "I didn't care that I was on ecstasy and wasn't in my right mind or that I was one hundred feet above the water. I didn't care about anything, really. When I was about to jump, the only thought going through my head was 'I don't care what happens to me.'" She paused briefly, playing with her fingers. "When I jumped, my head hit some of the rocks. I woke up in the hospital and the doctor told me I'd been out for a week." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "Where you're sitting right now was where I was standing, but if I'd moved just a little to the left, where I'm sitting, I'd have hit the rocks and died."

I stared at her, my brow furrowed. The mental image of her body splayed against the rocks, broken and bloody, haunted me, and I couldn't understand why she would even think about that.

"Sometimes," she continued, "I wonder what that would be like…"

"Hitting the rocks?" I asked.

She shook her head and smiled weakly. "No…never mind," she replied. A heavy sigh emitted from her. "I think the guys are at the shack. Let's go."

I nodded and stood up. I held out my hand for her to take, and she hesitated before she wrapped her fingers around it and brought herself up to stand.

"Careful," I warned, not wanting her to trip and fall off the ledge.

Her eyes, a light auburn from the sun's illumination, found mine, and I couldn't seem to look away. "I know," she acknowledged, her tone soft and feminine.

Like a magnet, we were pulled to each other, our faces inching closer. When her lips attached to mine, I breathed in deeply, my entire body feeling so at ease. How was it that with just a kiss, I could feel this relaxed?

Our kiss was slow, gentle, and unhurried. When I realized her small hand was still in mine, I laced my fingers with hers.

With a few pecks, we pulled apart, but our eyes remained locked. There were so many different emotions on her face, none that I could define, and I wondered how I looked to her. I wasn't exactly the type of person to hide my feelings very well.

She smiled and grasped on tighter to my hand. "Come on," she said, and began leading us back through the forest.

The entire time, she never unraveled her warm fingers from mine. This moment was something I wanted to remember forever. I'd never had anyone fill my thoughts and emotions like Bella had. It was completely new to me. Was I way in over my head for being so fucking happy that she was simply holding my hand? Probably to anyone else, it would seem pathetic, but to me, I felt on top of the world.

But that didn't last. As soon as we entered the clearing, she removed her hand swiftly. To make myself feel better, I dug my hands deep into my pockets, my fingers crashing into my lighter.

When we walked into the shack, Quil, Embry, and Paul were sitting around, smoking a joint. Bella took a seat on the opposite side of where I sat, not even looking at me once.

It was things like this that pissed me off. We'd just been sharing a moment not even five minutes ago, and then she had to go act all fucking cold. Was I that forgettable to her? Did she not even fucking care about me? However, when her eyes flickered to mine, a discreet smile tugging at her lips, all my skeptic thoughts ceased.

X-X-X-X

God, she was so fucking sexy.

How was it possible for anyone in this room to not fucking come all over the place at the site of Bella licking a spoon?

Oh, right. This class was full of girls. Well, their loss; my gain.

My eyes were glued to her tongue as she continued practically molesting the spoon of cookie batter. That fucking spoon was so damn lucky.

My dick was swelling like a fucking balloon, needing release, and all I could picture was her wet, pink tongue licking up the center of my throbbing length.

She was completely unaware of my gawking, until she set her spoon down and glanced at me. I cleared my throat and tried to calm myself. She smirked, almost knowingly.

"A problem there?" she questioned.

_Yes. There's one currently in my jeans. _

"No," I answered with a sheepish grin.

She rolled her eyes, picked up her tray of unbaked cookies, and walked over to the ovens. I didn't waste any time picking my sorry excuse of cookie blobs on a tray and followed directly behind her.

When she stopped at an oven, I came up right behind her, my crotch brushing lightly against her ass. "You can't lick a spoon and then walk away from me," I said.

"And who's going to stop me?" she asked, and then pressed her ass against my now painful erection.

I hissed in a breath quietly, almost dropping my tray. Fuck…I needed her right this fucking second.

She casually took a step to the side and opened the oven, placing her tray inside. I glared at her as I opened the oven next to hers and haphazardly tossed the tray in there, and then slammed it shut loudly. The sound caught her attention and she turned her head to me. I took a step right up to her and leaned down to her ear.

"That's it, Bella," I whispered harshly. "I need you so fucking badly. It's been too damn long. I don't fucking care if it's outside, in the art room, or even right here, but I want you, _now_."

I heard her breathing pick up, almost as quickly as mine. We were so close to each other, and I was surprised no one had noticed. If they had, they were doing a good job of ignoring us.

"Tonight—meet me at the shack," she propositioned, and stood on her tiptoes. She took my earlobe into her hot mouth, her teeth scraping against the flesh. "I'm gonna ride you so hard." With that, she spun on her heel and went back behind the counter.

Holy shit.

She was going to fucking _ride_ me tonight.

After that, I did everything I could to keep my thoughts from picturing her writhing above me, calling out my name, and my fingers digging into the flesh of her ass as she bounced on my dick.

It was very hard—in more ways than one.

Near the end of the class, Mrs. Cope observed our cookies. She told me I should've balled up smaller pieces of dough because my cookies were humongous and connecting with each other. They were still fucking cookies, for fucks sake. All you needed was a knife or some shit and it'd work the same.

Bella snickered after Mrs. Cope moved on, and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Something funny?" I asked, not amused at all.

"You're the shittiest baker," she said with a smile.

I glared at her, but secretly reveled in the curve of her plump lips turned upward. "I wasn't aware that this was the fucking Baking Olympics," I quipped.

She rolled her eyes. "Why did you even join this class if you hate cooking?" she questioned.

"Had to," I answered. "I needed an elective for my college transcript."

"You don't have to come here anymore, you know," she reminded.

"I guess not," I said, my eyes trained intensely on her, "but there are other reasons I'm here."

She nodded, and looked down at my botched cookies.

The classroom phone rang, garnering all our attention. Mrs. Cope made a beeline for it and picked up. She spoke quietly into it, before her eyes scanned the class, landing directly on mine.

"Edward," she called, "Principal Banner would like to see you in his office. You can leave your things here and collect them after."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering why he wanted me there. Glancing at Bella, I saw she was wearing the same inquisitive look as I was.

"I'll see you later, I guess?" I asked her.

She nodded silently, her brow furrowed.

I walked around the counter and towards the door. As I opened it, I looked back at Bella and winked, reminding her of tonight. The last thing I saw as I exited the classroom was her sexy smile. Shit, I couldn't wait.

I jogged down the stairs to the first floor, wondering to myself why Banner would want to see me. However, as I stepped onto the flat surface at the bottom of the stairs, I was abruptly and violently shoved to the side. I caught my footing, managing not to fall.

"The fuck—?" I began to ask as I spun around to see who the hell pushed me. My eyes landed on Black standing there with a scornful expression.

"On your way to the principal's office, Cullen?" he spat viciously.

Without even blinking, I walked right up to him, my face inches from his. "Got a fucking problem, Black?"

"Yeah, I've got a problem. I told you she was off limits," he seethed.

I chuckled, amused. "Are you gonna threaten me that if I don't stay away from her, you'll hurt me?" I inquired sarcastically, knowing he was full of shit.

He took a step back, his black eyes searing into mine. "No," he answered. Before I knew it, his fist collided with my jaw. I stumbled to the side, pain shooting through my face. "Now, I'm just gonna beat the shit out of you."

Sheer rage burst through me, giving me the strength to run at him, throwing his body into a set of lockers. He collided with a guttural grunt. I fisted his shirt and docked him square in the face.

"Wanna know how many times we've fucked?" I taunted, not able to control what came out of my mouth. I drew my fist back, but before I could pound him again, he twisted out of my hold and shoved my head into the locker. My bottom lip split open on the locker dial, and I fought to not groan in pain.

There was a sharp blow to my back, causing my knees to buckle, and I dropped to the ground. The back of my jacket was grabbed instantly, and I was thrown to the other side of the hallway.

"You touch her again and it's going to be a lot more than just my fist coming at you. I'll fucking kill you," he growled, walking over to me.

I collected myself and stood, my body wanting to fight against me, but my mind ready for this. In a split second, I had him pinned to the wall, my arm digging into his neck. His nose was bleeding, and I reveled in the fact that his face was turning blue cause of my doing.

"You think I'm touching her against her own will?" I rasped out menacingly. "If that's so, then why does she want to be with me tonight?"

His teeth gritted, a hurricane of ferocity whirling in his dark irises. He grabbed a hold of my arm and yanked it away from him, then twisted it behind my back. My shoulder felt like it was going to fucking pop out of its socket, causing me to wince. I tried to maneuver out of his grasp, but I couldn't.

"You're gonna stay the hell away from her. You got that, Cullen?" he barked.

"Fuck you. She's mine," I choked. I wasn't going to let anyone fucking have her but me.

He managed to sock me in the stomach, and I doubled over, the wind knocked out of me.

"I don't think you fucking heard me," he said menacingly. "You're gonna stay away from her, because _she's mine_. The ring on her finger—the one with the spiders on it—I gave that to her. You're a smart ass; I'm sure you can guess why."

Finally able to breathe again, I barely registered what he was saying. "Who the fuck gives a shit about a stupid ring," I said.

He laughed darkly. "I guess I was wrong; you're dumb as fuck. While you were groping her around the side of the gym today, didn't she tell you what that ring was for?" I glared at him, but in my head, I was wondering what the hell he was talking about. "Guess not. I gave it to her when I _proposed_."

No. He was fucking full of it. He was lying. But that didn't stop the blinding rage that coursed through me. I rammed into him with a loud grunt, knocking us both to the ground. Quickly straddling his waist, I proceeded to throw punch after punch at his face.

"Break it up, break it up!" I heard a familiar male voice bellow.

The back of my jacket was pulled, and I was launched off Black with a force. Coach Clapp was holding onto me tightly, preventing me from going after him again. Black quickly scurried to his feet and flashed me a seething glare before running off down the hall.

"Stay away from my fiancée, Cullen!" he yelled out.

"Black, get back here," Coach demanded, but Black had already made it out of the exit door to the parking lot.

"Fuck!" I shouted angrily, wanting to smash my fist into something. My knuckles felt raw and tattered, but that was the last thing on my mind right now.

"Calm down, Cullen," Coach Clapp demanded, then shoved me forward. "You're going to see Principal Banner."

"What?" I barked, trying to stop walking, but he pushed me again, forcing me to move forward. "I didn't even start that. He came at me from fucking nowhere."

"I don't wanna hear it. What's gotten into ya, kid?" he asked.

Instead of going to Banner's office, he pushed me toward the nurse's office. With a groan, I plopped down in one of the uncomfortable chairs.

Coach told the nurse to give me some ice for my bloody lip, which was fucking stinging, and then left. I seethed in my seat until the nurse gave me a bag of ice.

A few minutes later, Banner came waltzing in and stood directly in front of me, scrutinizing my appearance.

"What's this I hear about you getting into a fight?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't goddamn start it," I said against the bag of ice.

"I don't tolerate fighting, Edward. I'm suspending you for a week."

"What?" I shouted, enraged. "You can't fucking suspend me! I didn't even start the damn fight."

"Regardless of whether you started it or not, you were still involved. Coach Clapp said he found you on the floor punching Jacob Black. So, after your lip stops bleeding, we're going to my office."

I smiled smugly, realizing he couldn't fucking do anything to me. "You know, Banner, I don't think you're going to suspend me."

He quirked an eyebrow, but I could already tell his brain was catching up to what I was talking about. "Why's that?" he asked cautiously.

"See, I watched this certain video…" I trailed off purposely.

He cleared his throat, and turned to the nurse, who was regarding us closely. "Lucy, can you please step outside? I'd like to speak with Mr. Cullen privately for a minute."

"I really need to tend to his lip, Robert. It could get infected—" she began to say, before he cut her off.

"_Now_, Lucy," he snapped.

With a worried expression, she exited the room, leaving Banner and me alone. I continued pressing the bag of ice to my lip, feeling cocky.

"You listen to me," he started low and sternly. "You do _not_ discuss that in the presence of another faculty member, do you understand me? I don't know where you came in the picture, but the boys and I have an agreement about this."

"Then I guess you won't be suspending me after all, huh?" I queried, but knew the answer already.

"I can't let you off the hook, Edward. It'll be suspicious if I don't punish you for being involved in a fight."

"Too bad, because you're gonna have to," I said matter-of-factly. "Guess you shouldn't have started screwing a cheer—"

"Shh!" he urged, looking toward the door frantically, which caused me to smirk. "Fine. I won't suspend you, but it needs to _look_ like I suspended you. How about you take the week off."

I raised an eyebrow. "That won't go on my record, right?" I questioned.

"No," he answered.

"What about my parents? You're not going to call them?"

"No, I won't, and your grades will still stay the same."

"What if my parents find out, anyway?" I asked suspiciously.

"They won't; I promise," he assured.

I didn't have to show up to school for a week, my parents wouldn't be notified, and my grades would stay the same? This was working out pretty damn well.

"Deal," I agreed.

Since I was "suspended," instead of going to my next class, I had to collect my stuff from Cooking and then hightail out of the school. Bella was nowhere around, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to see her right now. After my fight with Black, thoughts were swirling around in my head as I played over his angry words that they were engaged.

When I got into my car and pulled out of the lot, I started to think about all the times her mood would shift when Black was around. He always seemed to be around her, and whenever she mentioned him, there would be a softness to her features.

I gripped the steering wheel in fury, my breathing becoming uneven. I recalled when I'd asked her about the ring, she was skittish about it, not really answering me properly. Then there was that time I saw her coming out of the bar in Port Angeles with Black. They'd definitely been together.

And, of course, there was the story about him diving in after Bella when she'd jumped off the cliff, and he'd been freaking out the entire week that she was in a coma.

Fuck…there was no damn way he was telling the truth. It wasn't fucking true. Why would someone as young as her be engaged? Plus, she wouldn't be with me and then be with him. She was sweet, beautiful, and…_mine_.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and briefly closed my eyes. When I opened them again, it was then that I noticed that I ran through a red light. Not giving a shit, I drove faster, unsure of where I was going, but just needing to fucking drive.

I saw the bright red flashing lights in my mirror before I heard the unmistakable siren. _Fuck. Just great._

Slamming my hand against the steering wheel in aggravation, I turned the car onto the shoulder of the road and came to a stop. I wanted to fucking bang my head into the wheel. This was the worst day possible.

The cop tapped on the window, all cocky and shit, and I rolled it down all the way.

"You realize you ran through a stop light?" he questioned, chewing obnoxiously on some gum.

"I guess not," I answered, trying not to go off on him. "Wasn't really paying attention."

"Huh," he said. "License and registration."

I groaned and lifted myself a bit to get my wallet out of my back pocket. When I retrieved my license, I gave it to him. However, when I reached over to my glove compartment, I realized I didn't have any registration for the car.

"I just got this car, so I don't have any registration," I explained.

He arched his eyebrow, smacking on his gum as he observed me, and then walked off without a word. I leaned my head back against the headrest.

But what if Black had been telling the truth? I didn't like the fucker, but it just seemed so extreme to lie about that shit. And it wasn't like Bella was open about her life. The little I got out of her was done because of my pushing, but I was sure if she had her way, I wouldn't know a fucking thing about her.

As I thought more on it, putting the pieces together, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw the cop talking on his radio while he sat in his police car. He suddenly got out, looking determined, and approached my car.

"I need you to step out of the vehicle," he said.

"Wha—? I began to question, but he cut me off.

"Now," he demanded.

Fucking pissed off, I wrenched the seatbelt off and threw open the car door. When I stepped out, he was standing about an inch away from me.

"Hands against the car," he ordered.

"Wait, what the hell? "I questioned, baffled.

"_Hands against the car_," he demanded, more forcefully.

I did as he said, confused out of my fucking mind. He began patting me down, taking out my wallet from my pocket as well as my lighter. I felt fucking violated. I'd never been pulled over before, but I was sure this shit didn't happen just for running a stop light.

He pulled my hands behind my back, and I felt something cold snap on my wrists, holding them together.

"You're under arrest for theft—" he said.

"What?" I shouted, interrupting him. I tried to fight against him, because this was fucking ridiculous, but the handcuffs prevented that.

"You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?" he asked as he led me to his car.

"I didn't do _anything_," I explained.

"Anything you do or say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have…"

As he continued his stupid speech and pushed me toward the car, my thoughts became blank.

Was this what rock bottom felt like?

* * *

**A/N: **

**I'm kind of speechless with this chapter, so I'll let you all do the talking. **

**Review for a teaser of the next chapter.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Rec: **

**_The Little Fish_ by shellwrx**

**If you ever watched Beverly Hills 90210 or any other teenage drama, then you'll probably enjoy this. Edward is the new hot guy at school and Bella is studious and goal orientated. He has a girlfriend back home, but is instantly attracted to Bella. It goes from there and there's drama galore. It's still a newer fic, but check it out.  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:**

**If I haven't said it before, I will say it again. This story is a slow burn type of fic. If you're looking for instant gratification, well…this ain't it. Thanks. **

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40.

* * *

**

"You get one call. Make it fast."

I moved past the officer to get to the pay phone. He'd never taken his eyes off me for one minute since he'd arrested me and brought me here to this stupid police station. He kept trying to intimidate me into admitting to shit, but I hadn't done fucking anything.

Picking up the phone, I dialed the only number I could. I was going to be in so much fucking trouble, but I couldn't think of that now. I just needed to get the fuck out of here. After a few rings, someone answered.

"Hello?"

Shit. It was Jasper. Just my fucking luck.

"It's me," I said.

"Who's this?" he asked. Fucking idiot.

"Edward," I said through gritted teeth, trying to control my temper.

"Oh…what is it?"

"Get my mom," I ordered.

"Can't. She's not here, but Uncle Carlisle is here," he replied.

I groaned, dropping my forehead against the pay phone. I didn't want to deal with my father. He'd flip out. My mother was the better option. "Where the hell is she?"

"I don't know," he answered indifferently. "Where are you?"

"None of your business," I snapped quickly. "Just call her cell phone."

"Why not do it yourself?"

I took a few deep breaths. He wasn't fucking making this easy and I was running out of time. "I can't." I tried to stay as calm as possible. "I need you to call her and tell her to come get me."

"Alright," he agreed, sounding wary. "Where should I tell her to get you?"

I cleared my throat, noticing the cop was scrutinizing me intensely. "Forks Police Station," I mumbled into the receiver.

He didn't speak for a moment, and I wasn't sure if he'd hung up. "Are you in jail?" he asked slowly.

"Stop asking me fucking questions, idiot, and get a hold of my mom," I growled angrily.

"You know what," he started, sounding fed up, "I don't have to do you any favors. Have fun."

Shit, he was going to hang up. "Jasper—" I began to say, but before I'd even finished his name, he'd hung up.

Incensed, I slammed the phone back in place. The cop smirked at me, and then shoved me back towards the holding cell.

The afternoon turned into night and no one still had come to get me. Jasper would've told my mom, right? He couldn't have been that fucking petty by just leaving me here. Though as hour after hour passed, I was realizing that he probably was that petty.

I didn't fucking understand. I'd apparently been arrested for having stolen car parts, but how the hell would they even know something like that? They were full of shit. Not to mention, I didn't fucking steal anything! Fucking cops.

Sitting in this holding cell by myself, all I could do was think. I thought about the day and how everything had been so great and then it all had gone to shit. Right about now, I was supposed to be meeting Bella at the shack, but here I was, in fucking jail.

I kept going over whether what Black said was true. I didn't want to believe it, and a huge part of me didn't, but there were so many damn reasons to believe the fucker. She even admitted that she was hiding something. Maybe this was what she'd been hiding.

No. There was no fucking way Bella would be engaged to that dickhead. Who in their right mind would get engaged at our age? That would fucking be insane. He was blowing smoke up my ass and I was slowly falling for it.

Fucking jail cells making me think.

Where the fuck was my mom?

More hours passed, and I was growing tired. The cop that had arrested me went home, and now there was some other douche keeping an eye on me. I couldn't fucking go anywhere, if they hadn't goddamn noticed. They were acting as if I was going to magically escape. Sure, all I had to do was fucking jam myself through the teeny tiny window near the top of the holding cell that didn't even have a way to goddamn open it. Fucking dumbasses.

I tried to keep my eyelids open, not wanting to fall asleep for one second, just in case. I missed my fucking bed at home and there was no way I was going to sleep on some cold, ugly ass cell bench.

My eyes became heavier and heavier, and soon I was nodding off while sitting, my last thoughts of wondering if Bella was waiting for me at the shack.

When I woke up next, my neck was stiff, and the sun was shining through the small window. Looking around, I noticed the cop that arrested me was back and I was still here.

No one had come for me.

That fucking hurt me as well as made me want to punch something. No one gave two shits about me that they wouldn't bail me out? What was I supposed to do? I couldn't stay here forever.

I was on goddamn edge. A cigarette was what I needed. Actually, a fucking decent family was what I needed.

Some unknown amount of time passed, when one of the officers came by the cell, saying I had a visitor. However, I was stunned to see someone I didn't expect.

"Sam?" I questioned as he walked up to the bars.

"Hey," he greeted in a whisper, looking over his shoulder. "Look, I heard what happened."

I narrowed my eyes. "Your _car_ got me arrested," I snapped.

He nodded, as if understanding why I'd be angry at him. Well, he fucking better. "I know. One of my buddies works here and he told me that you were taken in for stolen parts," he said.

"So, what, did you steal them and then thought you'd give the car to me so that I could get arrested?" I spat in question. I'd spent a lot of time in here, and the more and more I'd thought about it, the more it made sense that he'd just given me the car so he wouldn't get arrested.

"No; I swear," he assured, and then glanced over his shoulder again, before lowering his voice. "I bought those parts cheaper than they should've been, so I didn't steal them, but the guy I got them from could've. I didn't even think about it when we traded cars."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

"Like I said, I know a guy who works here. He'll fix this."

I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "He can do that?" I asked

He nodded. "It'll probably take until tomorrow, though."

Fuck. I didn't want to spend another night in this shit hole.

"And when you're out, stop by my place some time," he offered. "We'll have some beers, smoke a joint. It's the least I can do."

When Sam left, I felt a little more at ease, yet I knew I couldn't rely on him. But who did I have, really? Definitely not my own family. So, he was my only shot at getting out.

More time passed, and I was starting to get hungry, not to mention I was fucking bored out of my mind. I felt disgusting, too. I needed a fucking shower and my hair was probably falling out because I was pulling so much on it.

The stupid cop who arrested me came to my cell a short time later with some keys. I sat up straighter as he opened the cell door.

"You're free to go," he informed, and then smirked. "Looks like someone finally came to get ya."

I quickly walked out, fucking ecstatic that I was free. That didn't last, however. When I saw the face of my father waiting for me, I wished I was back in the cell.

We didn't say a word to each other as I collected my confiscated items and my father signed some things. My Mustang, however, was gone, and I probably wouldn't get it back. I was angry that I didn't have anything to drive. How the hell was I going to get around?

My dad was pissed, obviously, but wasn't showing it as he kept quiet. How the fuck did he find out? If it was Jasper, I swear to fucking God I was gonna—

"Get in," my dad ordered as we got to his car.

We drove out of the police station, tension filling the car. Normally, he'd have a million fucking things to say when I'd screw up, but now, he didn't. It was making me uneasy. I almost preferred the yelling to the silence.

"Dad," I began, unsure why I was speaking, but feeling the need to, nevertheless

"Don't, Edward," he spoke, his tone tight. "We'll discuss it when we get home."

We didn't say another word to each other after that.

The house began to come into sight, and he pulled into the driveway. Instead of getting out, he shut off the engine and merely sat, staring straight ahead.

"You're mother is in there right now," he said. "When we go in, the first thing you're going to do is assure her that you're okay, because all she's been doing is worrying."

I didn't reply, except offer a silent nod.

As soon as we got in, my mother, who had been pacing by the door, flew at me, her arms instantly wrapping around me.

"I was worried sick!" she exclaimed desperately.

"Mom, I'm fine," I spoke dully, hugging her back. I missed the shit out of her.

After a moment, she pulled back, tears running down her face. "How could you do this, Edward?" she questioned.

"I swear; I didn't do anything," I told her.

"That's not what the officer told me," my father interjected, causing me to clench my jaw.

"Oh no," my mother said quietly, her face paling as she stared at my father.

"He not only ran a stop light near the school, but his new car was being tracked for some time now due to stolen parts," he revealed.

My mother clamped a hand over her chest as she turned to me with a horrified expression. "Edward," she gasped.

"I ran the stop light, but I didn't fucking steal anything," I shouted at her, frustrated.

"Don't curse at your mother," Dad scolded.

I turned on him, glaring daggers at him. "I just spent almost twenty-four hours in a goddamn cold, uncomfortable jail cell. I can say or do whatever the fuck I want at this point, especially since no one fucking came for me yesterday."

"I thought you were an adult and could handle your own situations from now on," he said.

I stopped breathing, my face reddening in anger as his words clicked. "Wait a minute," I started slowly, "did you know I was in jail yesterday, but didn't come until today?"

"That's exactly what happened," he confirmed, crossing his arms in front of him.

I chuckled bitterly and ran a hand over my jaw, feeling the rough stubble. "So, you just decided to teach me a lesson or some shit."

"Edward, stop this," my mom scolded.

"Why would I try to teach you a lesson?" he asked, strangely calm. "You're clearly an adult now and if you're arrested, you should be able to find a way out. I did you a favor. Your mother was near the point of having a panic attack, so I used my own money…"

"Oh, I'm _so sorry_ you had to use your own money," I spoke over him cynically. "I'm sure you had that all saved up to buy useless shit. It's just awful you had to waste it on your fucking son."

"Edward, Carlisle," my mom shouted, causing us both to tear our glares from each other. "Please, stop arguing." She pressed a hand to my cheek gently. "Honey, I'm just so happy you're home." She moved her hand to my forehead, a worried expression beginning to form on her face. "You're burning up. Did you come down with something?"

I was too pissed to care if I'd gotten sick. My father had known I was in jail and had purposely left me there, trying to prove some sort of fucking point! Did he even give a shit about me? I could've died for all he knew, but no, he had to be fucking selfish and only care about making me suffer for his own ego. Who the hell was he? Why couldn't I have gotten a father who gave a damn about me?

I realized, in that moment, how much I hated him. There was no love in me for someone as fucked up and uncaring as he was.

"Honey, take off your jacket. You're sweating," my mother said. She walked behind me and began pulling it off for me. But as soon as it was off, she gasped, dropped the jacket on the floor, and clamped a hand to her mouth. "Edward, you got a tattoo?"

Aw, fuck.

She was staring down at my arm in horror. Of all the weeks I'd been trying to hide it, I had to forget it was there right now.

My dad was shaking his head, as if I'd done another thing wrong. Fuck him.

"Yeah, I got one," I answered smugly, just to shove it in his face. However, it practically destroyed my mom as she began sobbing uncontrollably. My face fell slowly. "Mom…" My tone was soft, wanting to comfort her.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. "I don't know my son anymore," she choked, and walked toward the kitchen.

I couldn't have felt more heartbroken in that moment. But as soon as I saw my dad was still standing there, my anger began to come back. We remained in a stare, both analyzing the other.

After a solid thirty seconds, he walked off to the kitchen, without a single word, leaving me in the entryway.

I could hear my mother crying softly and my dad trying to soothe her. It was all too fucking much for me, so I went up to my room and locked the door.

All the emotions within me were swirling around like a cyclone, and all I wished for was something to numb those feelings. The only time I'd remembered feeling numb was when I'd taken ecstasy. I'd never wanted it more than I did now.

X-X-X-X

It was past midnight and I couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't fucking shut up. The more and more I thought about Bella, the more I was convincing myself that she was with Black. It was things like her avoiding kissing me in public, or her denying anything going on between us to others that were making me skeptical of her.

If she was engaged to that fucker, then why was she with me? Was I just sex to her? Something new that she'd mess around with and then tell to fuck off when she was bored? Maybe she had a whole slew of guys she was with…

NO.

She couldn't be like that. I knew her. When I was with her, it was only us. If she was with other guys, as well, she'd be showing them the shack and her cliff spot. Those things she showed to me because we had something special together. There was a connection and heat that I'd never felt with anyone else but her. I was sure it had to feel the same to her.

But what if it didn't feel the same to her and I was just trying to convince myself that it did?

Fuck. I needed to sleep.

I flipped over on my side roughly, kicking the blankets off. I was fucking sweating and I felt like shit, in more ways than one.

My mother would barely look at me without tears forming in her eyes. I didn't know what to do, and with just one look, my father would make me feel even worse for clearly hurting her. I'd avoided them all night. I didn't want the stress. No one bothered me, either.

To be honest, I thought I was going to get a lot more flack for getting arrested than I actually got. My father, of course, didn't hide the fact that he was disappointed in me, but he didn't ground me or tell me to pay back the money he had to cough up for bail. Overall, he remained indifferent and calm. I didn't fucking like it. He was trying to guilt me or something. Well, screw him.

My thoughts were running wild again, and I tried to allow my mind to not think of anything. It worked for one minute, but then images of Bella in a white dress, walking down the aisle to Black flooded my brain.

I groaned, clenching my fists. Why couldn't I stop thinking about this if I was sure it wasn't true? And why, more than ever, did I feel the need to confirm this? I trusted Bella. She would never have lied or kept this from me. If I asked her outright, I was positive she'd get pissed at me for even believing something like that. That thought was settling, even if she would be angry at me. I preferred the anger to her usual silence. At least with the anger, she talked to me, but when she refused to open up, I hated that more than anything.

Where was she now? It was late, but I still wished I could see her. I just needed to know this all was a joke, so that I could sleep easier, so that I could get over this, and so that I could be able to look at her without imagining her with Black.

I had to see her. Right now. I was going out of mind because of her and was infuriated that I was even starting to believe that she was engaged. But I couldn't deny the fact that there was something off about this whole situation.

With my mind made up to see her, I got out of bed and went into my closet to throw something on. Everyone was asleep right now and wouldn't know I was even gone.

As I made my way out of my room, down the steps, and to the front door, I realized something crucial. I didn't have my car. Fuck, how was I going to see her now?

There were three car keys on the key rack—my mom's, dad's, and Jasper's. Well, I'd driven Jasper's car before, and I definitely wasn't going to risk taking my parents' cars, so Jasper's it was.

When I got into his car, I had a moment of doubt. What the fuck was I doing? Was I going to confront her angrily? Ask her if it was true? Was I just going to see her, kiss her, and then forget everything? I really didn't know.

Turning on the engine, I resolved myself to just winging it.

I wasn't sure where I'd be able to find her, so I decided to go to the place I knew she usually was. If she wasn't there…well, I'd worry about that after.

After fifteen minutes of driving, I pulled into the parking lot.

She was here.

Her truck was the only one in the lot as it sat in its usual space. My palms were sweating and I was feeling ridiculously hot, but I forced myself to step out of the car and walk to the bushes.

This was crazy. I had nothing to worry about.

But what if I did…?

Fuck! I needed this settled right now.

Step by step, I walked through the woods. I didn't need any sort of light as I trekked toward the shack. I'd already been down this path several times and it felt like routine now to be here.

I could barely make out the shack in the dark. It wasn't lit at all, and that was already a sign that Bella probably wasn't in there. But where would she be? The guys said she'd sometimes be in the clearing. Was she there now?

On instinct, I decided to check out the shack, just in case. My footsteps were quiet, tentative as I stepped up to the doorway, peering in. The entire interior of the structure was shrouded in darkness. I couldn't see a damn thing.

Taking my lighter out of my pocket, I ignited the flame. It wasn't possible to see too far into the shack, so I lit one of the candles on the table. As soon as I finished, however, there was a heavy sigh as well as rustling.

Looking toward the brief noise, my heart hammered in my chest and broke all at the same time. There were several blankets laid out on the hard floor at the opposite end of the shack. Bundled up in the blankets was Bella, asleep. Her breaths were even and her face was slightly illuminated by the candlelight.

I didn't know whether to be angry or be worried that she was sleeping out here, by herself, in the middle of the night.

Setting that aside, I walked to her, the floorboards cricking. She didn't wake up, surprisingly.

I bent down near her head and just watched her sleeping peacefully. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly, drawing my attention to them. They were wet. Had she been crying?

I didn't want to wake her up, but I also needed to. I had to get some answers right now.

Bringing my hand to her face, I rubbed her smooth cheek gently. She breathed in through her nose deeply and stirred. I watched as her eyelids opened. She seemed in a daze for a moment before she registered that someone was in the room with her. However, she didn't seem alarmed as she looked up at me.

"Edward?" she breathed, as if in awe.

"Yeah," I affirmed. There was a lock of her silky hair on her cheek, so I moved it out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

She sat up and turned her body toward me. There was confusion and...hurt ridden on her face. "Why are you here?" she asked, her voice filled with sleep.

"I came to see you."

Her eyes fell to the blankets. "I waited here yesterday night for you…"

I frowned, hoping she wasn't too upset that I hadn't shown up. "I couldn't make it. I got in trouble." She didn't respond as she kept her sight on the blankets. "I was arrested."

Her head snapped up, and her eyes widened. "What?" she asked incredulously, all traces of sadness fully evaporated. She got on her knees and sat against her heels. "What do you mean you were arrested?"

"They thought I stole car parts."

Her mouth wet agape slightly, and she brought a hand up to her forehead, looking exasperated. After a few seconds, she moved to me. She brought her small hands up to my shoulders, resting them lightly on them. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, feeling comforted instantly. It'd been such a rough couple nights, but she'd immediately made it better from her touch. Hell, even her presence.

Her eyes became distant, as if she was in thought. "Sam knows someone down at the station," she said, and stood up quickly. Not wasting time, she walked over to the other side of the shack. Her orange backpack was there, and she quickly unzipped it, taking out a cell phone. "He can fix it. I know he can."

I stood slowly, watching her. "I already talked to him."

She stopped, staring at me. "Oh," she said, and set her phone back in her bag. "Well, that's good."

"Why do you care?" I questioned. I didn't mean to sound cold, but I honestly just wanted to know.

"What do you mean?" she asked in reply, seeming confused.

I took a few steps over to the corner she was standing in. "Why would you want to fix it?"

She blinked several times with a blank expression. "I don't want it to go on your record," she admitted. "You don't deserve that."

"What do I deserve, then?" I inquired. All I wanted to know from her was that she did give a damn about me, that I wasn't the only one who cared.

She shrugged. "A clean record," she said. Her eyes flickered down to my lips, causing her brow to furrow. She brought a finger up, running it across the scar that had formed there. "What happened?"

That was when everything from the past couple days crashed down on me. My mood changed, and my body went rigid.

Instead of answering her, I picked up her hand that was resting by her side. Staring into her worried eyes, I let my thumb rub over her knuckles before I moved it to her index finger. I could feel the cold metal of her ring there, and I fought not to clench my jaw.

I tore my eyes from hers, dropping them down to her hand. I'd always noticed her wearing that ring, but I'd never really thought about its significance.

Slowly, I slid it off her finger, then brought it up to her face. She glanced at it with a raised eyebrow, but I could also see a hint of nervousness there.

"What's this?" I asked boldly.

I could hear her swallow as the silence filled the shack. "It's a ring," she answered quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

I rubbed the ring in between my fingers. Her eyes never left it. "What kind of ring?" I questioned.

"Just a cheap ring from a pawn shop," she spoke, but she refused to meet my stare. "Can I have it back?"

Ignoring her, I continued questioning her. "Who gave it to you?"

She didn't respond, her face showing no emotions. I wasn't sure what to make of her lack of response. It was a simple question. That alone had me worried.

I turned and took a few steps away, needing a little space to think. She didn't move a muscle, but I could feel her eyes on me.

"You want to know how I got the split lip?" I asked rhetorically, my voice hard, and then I turned to look at her. "Black gave it to me when we got into a fight."

Her face paled considerably, but she still remained frozen. The normal reaction would've been to be shocked or get mad. Hers was off.

"You know what he told me?" I queried, goading her. The unresponsive expression she was giving me was making me angry, and my tone was reflecting it. "He told me to stay away from you. Actually, no. He told me to stay away from his _fiancée_."

I watched as a slight crease formed on her forehead, and her eyes darted away. That told me everything.

It was true.

Bella was engaged.

The girl that I was into and cared about to the point of insanity was engaged.

And she hadn't even bothered to tell me.

I was enraged, inflamed, pissed, and beyond furious. Did I mean _anything_ to her?

"So, is this what you fucking do?" I spat in question. "You fuck me, and then you go to him afterward?"

Her face fell, finally showing some emotion, and she looked at me pleadingly.

She'd fucked him.

FUCK.

I fisted my hand, the ring buried deep within my palm, while my other hand grabbed at my hair, pulling on the roots. She'd been with Black, and she'd also been with me. Only, with him, she was engaged to him, and with me, she was…fuck…she wasn't anything with me.

"You used me, Bella," I accused. "You'd fucking use me, and then you'd run off to him."

"That's not how it is!" she exclaimed, finally speaking.

I stepped right up to her, our bodies inches apart. "Then tell me what the fuck it is, because I'm going out of my goddamn mind trying to understand you," I seethed.

"I…" she began, trailing off, but didn't continue. She looked in turmoil, most likely because she'd been caught.

I couldn't believe I'd fucking thought this wasn't true. _Of course_ it was true. That thought was nearly catastrophic. I didn't want it to be true, and I had no idea why she was with me if she was with someone else.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, my tone softening briefly.

I wouldn't allow myself to be in this fucked up situation. I wasn't her fucking toy. Either she was with me or she was with him, but she couldn't be with both. I needed her to decide.

"Me or him?" I asked bluntly. "Choose."

"Wh—what?" she stuttered. Her eyes were shimmering with moisture, but I couldn't feel sorry for her.

"You heard me. Make a fucking choice," I growled angrily, causing her to blanch.

A single tear streaked down her cheek. I didn't know why she was crying, but my expression automatically grew soft at the sight. I reached up and brushed the tear away with my thumb, then cupped her cheek. Her shimmering eyes stared up into mine, and I knew then that I couldn't lose her. I needed her to be mine.

"Bella, you and me—it's indescribable," I whispered. "You feel it. I know you do." I rested my forehead against hers and listened to her uneven, soft breathing. "I want to make you happy, and I'll spend every waking second trying to, if you just let me."

I brushed my lips against her wet cheeks, then her plump mouth. I captured her still top lip in a gentle kiss, needing her comfort. However, she didn't respond; instead, I could hear a quiet sob from her, and more tears slid down her cheeks.

"Choose me," I breathed against her lips.

A full minute might've passed before I pulled away slightly, needing to look into her eyes. They didn't have the same light in them they normally did when she was around me. They seemed lifeless and cold. She was an entirely different person right now.

"Please, give me the ring," she demanded.

I'd never been stabbed before, but I imagined it would feel something like this, because right now, I felt as if twenty knives had been jammed into my flesh from all angles. The worst part was, it was all because of her—the one person I cared for unconditionally.

I wanted to run, shout, do anything to ease this feeling of utter pain. There was a hardness in her eyes and her lips were formed in a thin line. She was decided.

She'd chosen him.

Maybe it'd always been him.

The mixture of anger and betrayal swirled within me as I observed this person I never really knew. With a force, I threw the ring behind her. It ricocheted off the wall and clattered to the floorboards loudly. She didn't make a move to pick it up. All she did was remain in a stare with me, her emotionless eyes speaking the truth about who she was.

She was a two timing, heartless bitch.

"Thanks for breaking my heart, Bella."

I turned away from her cold exterior and fled out of the shack. I was angry. I was destroyed. She'd played me, and I'd fallen for it so fucking easily. What did that say about me? I wasn't going to let anyone do that to me again. Enough was enough. Bella was as good as dead to me, and right along with her was my heart that she'd shredded into a thousand pieces.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Sorry, guys. Yes, Jake and Bella are engaged. If you don't remember what the ring looked like, the picture link is still on my profile from an earlier chapter. **

**I'm hoping to get the next chapter out next week, but there's a big chance I won't. I have a lot going on right now and haven't had that much time to write. I'm going to try my best, considering the way this ended.  
**

**If you review, you get a teaser.  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **

**I apologize for the long delay. I know last chapter's ending wasn't the best. There was just barely any time for me to write, unfortunately. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me!**

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40. Both are awesome.  


* * *

**

I blew out a smooth string of the sweet tasting smoke, closing my eyes as my body sunk into total relaxation. I fucking needed this so bad. It was good to feel something other than…well, other than what I normally felt these days.

"Got this stuff cheap. I can hook you up, if you want," Sam offered, after I passed the joint back to him. It was strong, but I liked it.

I'd been hanging out with Sam in his trailer for the past week now. He worked down at his garage during the day, so in the evenings we'd smoke, drink, and do nothing.

"Yeah, okay," I replied halfheartedly as I took a pull of the bottle of Jack Daniels we were sharing.

"You're thinking about her again," he said, and stood up from the couch. He grabbed the bottle from my hand, screwed the cap back on, and moved it out of my reach. "That's enough of this, by the way."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not thinking about anyone," I lied.

I hadn't seen her in a week. Apart from not going to school because of my fake suspension, I found out that she hadn't been around. No one had seen her. The real kicker was that no one had seen Black, either. My guess was that they skipped town and got hitched.

Did I care?

Nope.

He sat back down on the couch and passed me the joint. We continued to take slow drags. "Get over her," he said. "It's like I told you. It's gonna happen."

I sat up and placed my head in my hands over my knees. "But why?" I asked, my desperate tone fucking betraying me. It wasn't like I gave a shit about her anymore or whatever…but I couldn't help but wonder about some things.

"Look," he started with a sigh, "I'll ya tell this, but only because you need to hear it. They've been engaged since their sophomore year, and it's not changing. I don't know what she told you, but he cares a lot about her, and she feels the same way."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Awesome," I spoke dully. I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"What you need is a good lay. I'm sure Paul can hook you up if you ask."

Maybe he was right. I could do whatever or whoever the fuck I wanted. Another distraction couldn't hurt, either. The whiskey and weed were working pretty well, but when I wasn't drinking or smoking, Bella would sneak into my mind again.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," I mumbled.

I'd told Sam everything between me and Bella. I hadn't meant to, but whiskey was like a fucking truth serum. What I hadn't expected was for him to be so objective about it all. Since he was twenty-three, he was almost like an older brother to a lot of the guys. He knew pretty much everyone's business, but I felt that I could trust him not to tell anyone about mine. He was a fucking dream compared to my own father, who I hadn't even spoken to in six days.

After my little run in with the law, and my father had bailed me out, a cop from the station stopped by the next day. I leaned back against the couch, remembering what happened.

_I was in my bedroom, when I heard an unfamiliar man's voice echoing through the house from downstairs. I heard my name being spoken, so I opened the door and walked about halfway down the stairs. I wanted to get a look at what was happening._

_There was an officer, dressed in his uniform, talking to my father in the living room. He was tall with dark skin. Anyone would be intimidated by him. _

"_The problem has been handled and everything should be clean," the cop said. _

"_So, you're saying that my son was falsely accused of being in possession of stolen parts?" my father asked angrily. _

"_That's correct, sir. It was an honest mix-up." _

"_And if I call the station, they'll tell me the exact same thing," my father stated. _

"_Exactly, sir. The charges have been dropped. If you come down to the station, we can take care of the bail money you paid as well as give your son back his car." _

_A small smile crept across my lips. Sam, that fucking genius of a bastard, had done it. _

"_Unbelievable," my dad spat. _

_I narrowed my eyes. Of course he'd find this to be a burden. Any normal fucking parent would be happy their son's record was spotless again. _

_The officer began walking to the door, my dad slowly following behind. "We're sorry about the confusion. You take care now," the officer said, and nodded his head at my dad. He glanced over his shoulder, caught my eye with a raised eyebrow, and nodded again._

"_Well?" my father asked, turning to me after he shut the door. _

_I didn't respond. I hoped he realized now how little faith he had in me, and that he was a dick for leaving me in jail just to teach me some sort of lesson. _

"_I'm guessing you heard that the charges have been dropped. Do you have anything to say?" he questioned. _

_I glowered at him sinisterly, and then turned to walk back up the stairs. "I have nothing to say to you," I spoke quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. _

My thoughts broke off when there was a loud knock. Sam got off the couch and walked over to the door. When he opened it, the voices of Embry and Quil flooded the trailer as they stepped inside. Their faces contorted in surprise when they saw me.

"Hey, E, we thought you were dead," Embry said, chuckling. He took steps over to the couch and flopped himself down.

"Yeah, everyone's fucking disappearing, man," Quil said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a lighter. "Got that weed, Sam?"

"Yep," Sam answered, grabbed the plastic bag of weed off the table next to the couch, and then threw it at Quil, who caught it.

"Where ya been?" Quil asked me.

I shrugged. "Around," I replied.

During the day, I'd drive around, trying to keep my mind occupied. A couple of days, I'd get up and pretend to leave for school, but would come back when I knew my parents were both gone for the day. They had no clue I wasn't going to school. I supposed Banner kept his word.

I hadn't gone back to the shack once. It reminded me too much of _her_, and I was so over her and her secrets, and her stupid fucking engagement. I didn't give one shit about her anymore. She was out of my head and out of my life. She could fuck Black and marry him for all I cared. And I definitely _did not_ care.

"What the hell's going on?" Embry asked. "Where's Jake and Bella? They just leave and don't even tell us? Has he been down at the garage, Sam?"

Sam shrugged, pulling up a chair to the small living room area, and sat down on it backwards. "Nope," he answered.

"What about Billy?" Embry questioned. "Who's taking care of him?"

"Leah's been going down there a lot, so I'd imagine she is."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ignore their conversation. They went silent, and all that could be heard was Quil fidgeting with the bag of weed quietly.

"Dude, you know something, don't you?" Embry asked Quil suddenly.

"No, I don't," he answered, not looking up.

"If you don't tell me, I'm gonna tell Jessica you like her," Embry threatened.

Quil snapped his head up and threw the bag of weed at Embry. "You fucker, that was supposed to be a secret!"

"Hey!" Sam shouted, interrupting them, and grabbed the bag away from Embry. "Don't throw the weed, you idiots. And it's no one's business where they are and what they're doing."

"You know something, too!" Embry exclaimed in accusation. "Aw, fuck. Why am I the only one who doesn't know?"

"Yes, I know something, but I won't be telling any of you goons," Sam said. "Quil, how do you know?"

He cleared his throat, looking nervous. "I overheard you talking to Jake last week."

Sam sighed heavily. "Well, just keep your mouth shut, got it?"

Embry stood up abruptly, looking pissed. "Fuck that, man," he said, and exited the trailer.

I grabbed the whiskey that Sam had taken from me, and went back to drinking, drowning my thoughts from thinking about anything but the strong liquid burning its way down my throat.

X-X-X-X

The day I was due to go back to school, I didn't go. It wasn't like I needed to be there, anyway. I spent the entire day in my room while my dad was at work and my mom was out doing whatever the hell she did during the day.

Another five days passed after that, each one just as boring and uneventful. The highlight of my days were getting to smoke some of Sam's weed in the evenings. A few times, I'd smoked so much, that I'd fallen asleep on his couch from being so relaxed. I'd wake up in the morning, feeling disorientated and needing a cigarette.

The only downside to sleeping over at Sam's place was that sometimes Leah would stop over. Sam and she weren't exactly quiet. But most of the time, I'd be too out of it to go back home, so I'd manage to fall asleep again.

Close to the end of November, I was laying on my bed, watching a movie in my room, when I got a call on my cell phone. I grabbed it off my nightstand and checked the caller ID before answering.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You gotta come to school," Quil said.

I checked my watch, seeing that they'd just be going to lunch right now. "Nah," I replied, and propped an arm under my head.

"I'm serious, man. You're gonna get a kick out of the shit that's going down right now."

I sighed. I didn't give a damn what was going on at the school. "I'm cool here."

"I just stole some of Leah's blow, too. If you come down, we'll try it."

The high I had from the weed was starting to die now. I hadn't tried cocaine before, but now was as good a time as any.

"Alright, I'll be down," I agreed.

"We're in the cafeteria," he said, and hung up.

Reluctantly, I got up and left the house. I didn't bother to take my school bag, because I didn't plan on staying long.

When I pulled into the lot, my eyes instinctively scanned for the rusty red machine. My death grip on the steering wheel eased when it was clear that what I expected to be here wasn't.

The school halls were empty, but I could hear the usual chatter coming from the cafeteria, signaling lunch. As soon as I walked into the lunch room, several pairs of eyes flitted to me. I furrowed my brow, wondering why the fuck these idiots were staring at me.

I glanced around, looking for any sign of Quil or Embry, but neither of them were here. My sight landed on the back of a familiar mop of curly strawberry blonde hair, sitting alone at a lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria. Several people nearby were whispering to each other as they glowered at her.

"E," someone said behind me, and slapped me on the back. Embry walked by me and walked to the closest table, which had just been evaded when two young boys sitting there saw him coming.

"What's going on?" I asked him curiously as he took a seat as well as propped his shoes up on the table.

"Quil didn't tell you?" he questioned. "That idiot."

Not even a second later, Quil came out of nowhere and seated himself down. "I fucking heard that," he scoffed.

I refused to sit, staring down at them. "So, what's this big thing you said I'm going get a kick out of?"

"Watch this." Quil rotated his body, looking across the cafeteria. "Hey, Christian whore!" he called out loudly, causing the entire cafeteria to burst out into laughter.

I looked at where everyone was leering, and saw Tanya stand up and quickly grab her bag. I tried to suppress a smile when she practically ran past and out of the cafeteria, tears streaking down her face. This had definitely been worth the trip.

"Sadly, I didn't come up with that nickname," Quil said with a sigh.

"Yeah, that would be your girlfriend, Jessica," Embry said, smirking.

"Shut up. She's not my girlfriend," Quil bawked. "Anyway, Jessica's mom is a gynecologist—" he was cut off by Embry snickering to himself. Quil shot him a glare "—and guess who came into her office."

Before I could formulate any sort of response, Embry beat me to it. "It's that Tanya bitch," he answered.

"You were supposed to let him guess, you ass!" Quil barked.

"And..?" I prompted, getting fed up.

"She got knocked up," Embry revealed.

My eyebrows furrowed together, tension settling in my forehead. A couple months ago, I never would've believed that, but now…it was a different time. Knowing that Tanya had done shit that I never thought she would've in a million years, this didn't seem so far-fetched. In fact, I believed it, and I was cocky about it. Karma was a fucking bitch,

I chuckled. "I'm not surprised," I said. "So, what's with the Christian whore name?"

Quil shrugged. "I guess Tanya's all into religion and shit, I don't know."

I instantly remembered one brief moment when Jessica had picked up Tanya's bible off the ground and handed it back to her. For once, her gossiping was actually entertaining as hell.

"So, it's not yours?" Embry asked.

I choked on air, taken aback. "Fuck no," I spat. "I wouldn't go near her with a ten foot pole."

"God, I hate that bitch," Quil muttered. "Her and her faggot father."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Why her father?"

Embry scoffed. "Like you don't know," he said quietly.

"You know, her dad trying to buy out the rez to build some gay ass apartments or some shit," Quil said. "It's not gonna happen, but the fucker still keeps hounding us all."

I had no idea. Several times, I'd heard his conversations with my father. They'd usually always talk about his property development, and on occasion, I'd heard mention of the reservation, but I never cared enough to listen properly.

"Hey, guys," a light, airy voice greeted behind me, causing my teeth to grate. My entire body tensed, and my fingers dug into my palms as I clenched my fists.

"Well, well. Look who decided to fucking grace us with her presence. That chick, Bella Swan," Quil said.

She walked around the table, entering my line of sight. My eyes immediately dropped angrily to the table, refusing to look at her, to take in how she looked after not seeing her for so long. I had to fight myself not to just glance up. But I had caught that her dark hair was a little longer than before.

"Bella Swan?" Embry asked. "I don't fucking know who that is. Who the hell is that?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny," she mumbled.

The sound of her nonchalant voice caused a mountain of rage to erode throughout me. So, she decided to show up, huh? Was she married now? Did everyone have to call her Mrs. Jacob Black's bitch?

Why the fuck was I still here?

"Catch you guys later," I said to no one specific, and spun around.

My heavy feet carried me out of the lunch room and into the hallway. I wanted to punch something. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be fucking gone doing whatever the fuck engaged people did. Did she show up just to mess with me? Well, she could go to hell, because I was over her.

Down the hall, I could hear soft sniffles. When I glanced in the direction, I saw Tanya with her head practically buried in her locker as she took books out, or most likely pretended. I smirked, feeling my anger shifting in another direction and turning to smugness.

Once I'd reached her, I leaned against the locker next to hers. She didn't look at me, but was obviously aware of my presence, considering she went stiff as a fucking board.

"Just couldn't keep your legs shut, huh?" I questioned, my tone light. I was getting a kick out of this.

"Shut up, Edward," she muttered, wiping her cheek discreetly, acting like she hadn't been crying like a bitch.

"Ouch," I said in mock hurt, clutching my chest. "Pregnant women are mean." She slammed her locker door shut and stalked off; however, I wasn't finished, so I followed her. "So, is it that Italian guy's or some new guy who doesn't want you?"

She abruptly stopped and turned to me, rage and pain in her eyes. "I get it, okay? Loud and clear. You hate me," she stated.

I smiled. "Took you this long to notice?"

"I'm going through enough as it is. So, please, just leave me alone," she begged, rogue tears running down her cheeks.

I put my hands up in surrender. "No problem," I agreed. One corner of my mouth turned up into a devilish smile. "Christian whore."

She choked a sob and ran around me. I laughed to myself as I watched her disappear into the girl's bathroom.

That felt good. And I hadn't even been thinking about…

The sight of Bella taking determined steps down the hall toward me brought me out of my thoughts. Her striking brown eyes were hard, and unlike I'd ever seen as she stared right through me.

Deep within me, I could feel it—my heart twisting into a tight knot within the confines of the steel cage I'd built around it. I wouldn't let her inside. She didn't fucking control me.

I flared my nostrils, remaining in my place as she grew closer. I was sure she was going to stop in front of me, but she didn't. She crashed her shoulder hard into mine and walked past. I spun around in fury, my eyes glaring into the back of her head. I wanted to call her a fucking bitch or a goddamn whore like I'd so easily called Tanya…but my mouth refused to open.

She went directly to the girl's bathroom, opened the door, and then entered without a backwards glance to me. My brow furrowed in suspicion and confusion. What the fuck was she trying to pull? Did she know Tanya was in there?

I walked right up to the door and could instantly hear Tanya's annoying voice.

"No, why would I be?" she asked, sniffling. "Everyone hates me. My own _friends_ won't even look at me."

There was a long pause and the sound of Tanya's pathetic sobs echoed.

"Then maybe they're not really your friends."

I glowered into the door. Why the hell was Bella talking to her? Her tone was soft, almost nurturing. Had she fucking lost her shit?

"It doesn't matter," Tanya choked, "because now, I have no one. My parents are going to find out and they'll hate me, too. Maybe I deserve to be called a Christian whore."

"You're wrong," Bella spoke. "Don't let _anyone_ call you that."

I wanted to fucking pound the door in, I was so pissed. I couldn't believe what a fucking traitor Bella was. She knew Tanya was my ex. She had to have known how much I hated her. Now, suddenly out of the blue, she was talking to her as if she was her fucking friend? If this was some sort of plot against me, she could forget that shit. I wasn't going to fall for it.

"Are people fucking in there?" someone asked behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Quil and Embry standing there with smirks on their faces.

"Bella's in there with Tanya," I said quietly.

Their faces both contorted into a mixture of bewilderment and disgust. They quickly moved past me to press their ears to the door.

"Why are you being so nice? I thought you hated me," Tanya said.

There was a heavy sigh. "Things change," Bella replied.

"Holy shit," Quil whispered.

Embry slapped him on the arm. "Shut it; I wanna hear."

Well, I certainly didn't. Without a word to them, I turned and walked away. Screw Bella and screw Tanya. If Bella wanted to waste her pathetic energy on a bitch like Tanya just to piss me off, then fine. It would be an effort wasted, though, because I wasn't coming back here again. No, I was done with school. And once summer came, I'd get as far away from this shit town as possible.

X-X-X-X

I watched from my window as my father and Jasper loaded up their cars full of suitcases. I could hear my dad's muffled voice rattling off instructions to him in case there was an emergency in Canada.

I hadn't expected winter vacation to come so quickly; although, to me it wasn't a vacation at all. It was just another string of days that I'd have to myself, only this time, I really would be by myself.

If the situation had been different, I would've most likely been leaving with Jasper right now, but that wasn't even a possibility anymore. I hadn't spoken to Jasper in over two weeks. We both refused to even cast one glance toward each other. A few times, I'd heard my mother trying convince him to speak with me so that I would magically decide to go, but he knew that I wanted nothing to do with him and his stupid friends.

I wanted nothing to do with anyone.

There was a soft knock on my door, causing me to look over my shoulder. My mother stood in the doorway with a wary expression on her face.

"We're leaving now," she spoke. "I left the number to our hotel room on the fridge in case you need us."

"I won't," I said, my tone showing no emotion.

She sighed. "There's also some money on the counter for you, just in case."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Does Dad know?"

"No, but I'm allowed to set money out for my son, and your father knows that," she said, and took a step closer to me. "Listen, Edward. I'm not going to tell you what to do, because you're an adult now, but I expect a real change over these next couple weeks from you. You can't continue to ignore your father and your cousin out of spite."

"Maybe I just don't want to speak to them. Did you ever think about that?"

"Honey, all your father wants is to protect you."

"Protect me?" I scoffed incredulously. "Is that why he left me to rot in jail?"

"I know that to you it may have seemed like he was abandoning you, but it really was for your own good."

I didn't respond immediately as I felt like I was looking at her for the first time. My mother was supposed to be the good one; the one that cared about me—not the one that agreed with my father's actions. Why was it that everyone had turned on me?

"Right. Thanks a lot, Mom. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year," I spat bitterly, and turned my back on her to stare out the window again.

I heard her feet slowly move out of the room, and then my door shut quietly. Within five minutes, all the cars were gone from the driveway except mine. I felt uneasy, my throat itching for a cigarette and the need to feel some sort of comfort. I'd told myself that I would be happy once they all left, but now I realized something. For once in my life, I was truly alone.

X-X-X-X

Day after day passed in a blur of smoke and alcohol. I hung out with Sam, Quil, and Embry almost every night at Sam's place. I'd barely known them for a couple of months, yet they were the closest I was to anyone right now. They didn't care who I was, where my future was going, or any shit like that. All they cared about was getting high, drinking until they passed out, and talking about shit that didn't even mean anything. When I was with them, I didn't feel like my entire life was shit. I'd completely zone out, into my own secluded space, and simply exist.

"Shit's fucked up, man," Embry said, blowing smoke from his mouth.

"I know," Quil agreed. "Jake's fucking disappeared."

I craned my head back against the couch as I took a swig from the can of Bud Light. For a few days now, they'd been bitching and moaning about Black. Who the fuck cared? They acted as if it was the end of the world or some shit.

"And Bella is being all weird," Embry added.

This was another thing I didn't fucking care about.

"You know what I heard? That Tanya bitch got kicked out of her house and Bella fucking took her in."

"Took her in?" I found my voice asking. My body was sluggish, but I managed to sit up straighter.

"Nah. Bella wouldn't do that shit to us," Quil said, casting it off. "That's just another lame ass rumor."

"Hey, guys," Sam interjected, and glanced at me quickly before looking at the other guys. "Leah's coming over, so are you sticking around?"

"Fuck no," Embry and Quil both said in unison, and shot off the couch.

"Sit the hell down. She's not coming now," Sam said angrily, and they groaned as they took a seat. "If Edward can tolerate her, then you two can."

I snorted. "She doesn't even talk to me. It's not that hard," I said. Leah was one of those people that always held a grudge. She clearly hated me for whatever reason, and made it known by shooting me sinister stares when she thought Sam wasn't looking. I wasn't afraid of her or anything, but I was convinced that she was just psycho.

"You're damn lucky, E," Embry said in a sigh.

We spent the rest of the evening drinking beer after beer, becoming completely trashed. Quil and Embry ended up crashing on the floor for the night while I sprawled out on the couch. I hadn't been spending much time at home, anyway. There was something about being alone that didn't sit well with me, but I wasn't going to fucking admit that to anyone.

The great thing about drinking was that I always had a dreamless sleep that night. For a while, my subconscious kept dipping into memories that I didn't want to remember…memories that brought out a weakness in me that I had a hard time controlling.

For several weeks, my dreams had been filled with rays of sunshine illuminating creamy skin, soft fingers wrapped with mine, cherry blossoms filling my senses. When I started drinking more, all that whisked away, making the images fade, dilute into nothingness.

Sometime later, I came out of my sleep, my hearing waking up before the rest of me. There was some sort of knocking that was fucking disturbing me and causing my head to throb from having one too many beers. I shifted on my side, turning my back from the obtrusive noise.

"Fuck," I heard Sam's unmistakable voice coming from his bedroom.

"Who the hell is that?" Leah asked, her tone aggravated and ridden with exhaustion.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be back," he whispered. His heavy footsteps stumbled past Embry, Quil, and me, and was soon replaced with the squeaking of his front door opening.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Sam asked quietly, his voice sounding surprised.

"I, um…I'm sorry to come over this late."

My eyes shot open in the dark. I knew that voice _anywhere_. This had to be some sort of fucked up nightmare.

"Bella, you know you shouldn't have come," Sam scolded, but there was a softness to his tone.

Shit. Why was she here? A small part of me wanted to get off my ass and go see her, because I hadn't in so long, but that was exactly why I couldn't.

"I know…and I thought about it a thousand times…but I had to."

Sam sighed heavily. "Is he still gone?"

"Yeah, it's over." Her tone was sullen, making my jaw clench because as always, she seemed to bring out my fucking emotions that should've been dead from the last time I spoke to her.

"Come here," Sam said softly, and there were light footsteps that didn't seem to move very far. "It's for the best."

"I know."

There were no words for a long moment, and I half wondered if they were still there. I tried to fight with myself to just go back to sleep and forget she was ever here. I was doing everything I could to not listen to their conversation.

"Is he here?" she asked. I really couldn't ignore that. I immediately thought she was talking about me…but of course she wasn't. Why the fuck would she?

"You already know the answer to that, Bella."

"He hates me, doesn't he?"

"Those aren't my words to tell you if he does."

"Does that mean he does?"

"Bella…"

"Okay, fine," she said, resigned. "Can you just…Can you give this to him, please?"

"I don't know…"

"Please. Just this."

"Alright, I will," he agreed.

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to tell him it's from you?"

"No," she said, her tone clipped. "He'll know."

Sam quietly came back inside, his footsteps drawing closer. I pretended to be asleep, not wanting to know anything about why she was here. It suddenly felt like he was a little too close to me, but then his steps disappeared into his bedroom.

The chilling silence of the room was unsettling, apart from Embry's loud snores. I turned on my back and then sat up, my head instantly feeling about three hundred pounds. But as soon as I placed my feet on the ground, my eyes caught sight of something resting on the arm of the couch.

It was a book.

I couldn't see jack shit in the dark, so I grabbed it and brought it close to my face.

_An Edible History of Humanity._

My entire body froze as I stared at it, not even chancing a single breath. I didn't know what to think. I was sure this couldn't be for Quil or Embry, especially considering I'd been the only one to see her read it.

I set the book back on the arm of the couch, and then rubbed a hand over my stubbled jaw. Shit like this really punched me in the gut. Why did she have to fucking come here tonight and make me think about her and shit? Why the fuck would she give me a book that she knew meant something between us at one distant time?

The part that really grated me was the fact that she'd been the only person to give me a gift, except for the one message on my voicemail from my mother.

Reaching for my cell phone in my pocket, I turned it on, looking at the time. It was ten minutes past Christmas.

X-X-X-X

On New Year's Eve, I found myself driving around, not feeling like going anywhere specific. I couldn't be home in that empty house, and none of the guys seemed to be available.

When I was tired of driving, I decided to turn around and go home, even though I didn't want to. But when I saw that I was in Port Angeles, I hung back. Almost every single bar and restaurant were open, with crowds of people coming in and out. However, there was one that didn't have any people around it, so that was exactly where I went.

As soon as I stepped in the run-down establishment, the smell of stale smoke and strong liquor wafted over me. There was hardly anyone in here, except for a few big ass guys playing pool with tattoos all over their arms, neck, and even face.

I walked past them and toward the bar, ignoring their creepy fucking smirks at me. There was a man sitting at the corner of the bar by himself, hunched over the counter as he stared into his glass of liquor. Not wanting to invade his space or, frankly, have him invade mine, I sat a few stools away from him. There was no one even behind the counter, so I just sat there, listening to the sounds of billiard balls clacking together.

"Bartender's out on her smoke break," the lone man sitting near me said. His voice was gruff, hard, and it was evident that he'd had a lot to drink. "Bitch is always out there smoking."

I glanced at him, furrowing my brow. He was wearing a dark brown leather bomber jacket with rugged wool lining the inside. His thick beard masked his guarded, aged face. There was something about him that seemed strangely familiar to me; however, I was sure I'd never seen this man before in my life.

"That's fine," I said distantly.

"What's someone your age doing here on New Year's?" he asked, still staring into his drink. My eyes shot to him. Did he know I was underage? "Don't worry, kid. I won't tell anyone." He reached over the counter, grabbed the nearest bottle, as well as a glass. He poured it clumsily, most of the liquid spilling out, and then slid it over to me. "Whiskey's on me."

I hesitantly grabbed the offering, and took a generous pull. "I'm not celebrating that shit."

He snorted and poured whiskey into his near empty glass. "It's a waste of a day, if you ask me," he slurred. "Just another excuse for people to act like idiots with permission." He drank down all his liquor in a few swallows, and immediately filled another glass. "You ain't with family?"

"I don't have a family," I said bitterly. A family wouldn't have left me alone for the holidays while they all had the fucking time of their life. I knew I didn't want to go with my parents, but they hadn't even bothered in the first place to ask if I wanted to go with them.

"Me neither."

I nodded, taking another pull of my whiskey. There was something about the drink that made me think of _her_. Perhaps it was the fact that I knew whiskey was her favorite. I'd managed to not think about her once since Christmas. It wasn't too hard, especially with all the alcohol I bought with the money my mom gave me.

"You got a girl you're thinking about?" he asked.

I was surprised he knew, but then again, I was never good at hiding my emotions. "No one important," I answered, and set my empty glass down on the counter.

"They're trouble," he said. "I don't trust any of 'em." He pushed the bottle of whiskey my way, and I took it, topping off my glass. "She leave you?"

I chuckled darkly. "She was never mine to begin with."

He snorted. "Let me guess. There was another guy."

My lips formed into a tight line. How the fuck did this guy know this shit? "Yep," I replied tersely.

"They're all the same."

I shrugged passively, swishing my drink around in the glass. "Guess so."

"You in love with her?"

My body went stiff and my fingers tightened around the glass. I'd never been in love, and I probably never would, but I knew for certain that I could never give my heart to someone who didn't want me…who used me for her own selfish fucking needs. I didn't care anymore about how interesting or beautiful she was to me. None of that fucking mattered. She'd chosen who she wanted to be with, and I wasn't going to be that pathetic asshole who cut off my dick to force her to love me the way I…

Nope. I was certain I didn't and would never love Bella. However, I found myself saying a different answer. "I don't know…" I replied.

He set his glass on the counter and folded his arms on the surface as he stared straight ahead. "That's 'cause there's no such thing as love, kid. It's a load of horse shit," he said, his voice thick with alcohol. "Thought I was in love once. Turns out that was a bunch of bull." He picked his glass back up and continued drinking.

We both went into silence, effectively dropping the subject. There was nothing left to say about it. The sounds of people cheering could be heard in the distance from outside, which meant it was officially the New Year. And what a fucking New Year it was. There was only one thing good about this day…I could drink as much as I fucking wanted.

* * *

**A/N: **

**I've had a fairly consistent weekly schedule up until now, but unfortunately, that most likely won't be the same with some added commitments I've taken on. I need a huge chunk of time to sit down and write these chapters, and I just don't have that anymore. I update my other story regularly because it's been pre-written. So, if I can manage to get a chapter out in a week, then I will try my best, but if not, you can follow my writing progress on Twitter. **

**Make sure to leave a review to get your teaser. **

**Until next time!**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Recs: **

**_A Thousand Leaves_ by BellaSunshine**

**Got into this a few weeks ago. Edward was awful to Bella when they were kids. Years later, he's accused of the murder of her mother. This is a compelling story and you're always looking forward to what's going to happen next.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:**

**Mega thank you to the amazing people who have been so accepting and supportive of my schedule change. I've just gotten a job, enrolled in school, and have taken on other fandom commitments, so it's not that easy anymore. Riskward gives you two thumbs up, when he's not holding a doobie. **

**This chapter is a bit of a doozy. I would warn you ahead of time on what it specifically entails, but I feel that if you've read up this far, you know what this story is capable of.**

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40. Thank you, ladies.

* * *

**

"_Robert Banner, highly respected principal of Forks High School, was arrested Monday morning after several videos and pictures were found of him having sexual relations with a young student by the name of Jessica Stanley_. _There has been a mixed reaction around the school."_

"_I had no idea. He was always like our father and did so much for us." _

"_Not surprised. Jessica gets around, if you know what I mean." _

"_According to faculty members, Robert Banner's wife, Rebecca Banner, had recently found out that she was expecting a child. No word on whether she will be filing for a divorce—"_

I switched off the television angrily and shoved my hand in my pocket for my phone. After dialing the number I needed, I glared at the black screen of the television, grating my teeth as I waited.

School had started two days ago, but of course, I hadn't bothered going. Now, this shit had to happen...

"Yeah, I know. I've been watching," the agitated voice on the other line spoke.

"Embry, what the fuck?" I hissed in question.

"I don't even know what happened, man. Me and Quil were in the theater hanging out on Monday and taking pictures of Banner and Jessica with my phone. I couldn't find my cell later on...I guess I left it there."

I groaned, grasping onto the roots of my hair. "So, what does this mean?" I asked.

"My grandma's gonna kill me if I don't get into college, so I have to start going to all my classes."

Shit. I was hoping to have the rest of the year off without stepping foot back in that school. I hadn't really thought about what would happen after graduation, but I'd always envisioned myself going to college...I just didn't give a shit about going to Yale. Now, without the blackmail, it looked like I had to go back.

"You coming?" he inquired.

I sighed. "Yeah, I'll see you there."

After I hung up, I went and shoved the books I hadn't touched for weeks into my messenger bag, grabbed my cigarettes and lighter, and then went downstairs. Jasper was sitting on the couch, eating a yogurt. We ignored each other, as usual.

My parents were still gone, doing God only knew what. My mother told us in a message that they would be back on the weekend, which was still a few days away. I was fine with or without them, to be honest.

Being back in school pissed me off. Not only had I missed a shit load of work and had no idea what the hell was going on, but _she_ was here, too. I was definitely not looking forward to Cooking, and I even considered ditching, but without the blackmail, I knew I couldn't do that.

And fuck…she was just a girl. What did I care if I saw her? She was nothing to me. Knowing that helped me get through the first half of school.

"Can you believe Cope?" Quil asked as we sat down at a table in the cafeteria at lunchtime. "She was all nice and shit when she was a teacher, but now she becomes the principal and she turns into robo-bitch."

One huge difference in the school now, since Banner had been arrested, was that Mrs. Cope had taken position as Principal. She'd spent about twenty minutes solid in the morning, going over the rules and regulations over the P.A system, making it a point to lecture how a student-teacher relationship should be.

"Think we can get her? I bet she's got some serious shit we can use as blackmail," Paul said eagerly, propping his feet up on the table."

"Cope is like a fucking nun. I bet she hasn't even let one rip in public," Quil said.

"Unlike you," Leah scoffed.

I hadn't realized Leah even went to this school until she showed up this morning. All the guys had shown up…well, except Black.

"Leah, go back to sucking dick," Quil fired.

"Bite me," she countered with a scowl, and then looked off to the side. Her brow furrowed. "What the hell is she doing with that bitch?"

All our heads turned, but as soon as I saw what she was referring to, I went back to looking forward without a second thought. Bella was with Tanya, sitting at the other end of the cafeteria by themselves.

"Oh, yeah, haven't you heard? Bella doesn't give a shit about us anymore," Embry said, a bitterness to his tone.

"They're, like, attached at the damn hip or something," Quil spoke.

Leah's seething eyes found mine. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?" I queried.

"Don't act all innocent, you ass," she spat. "I've been onto you this whole time. Her father's been throwing money and shit at us in exchange for our land, and then suddenly, you're all hanging out with Bella, and now Tanya's friends with her, too."

"You think that we have some sort of scheme going on?" I asked angrily. "Maybe Tanya does, but I don't."

"You're wrong, Leah," Quil interjected. "E has nothing to do with that."

Leah pushed her chair back forcibly and stood. "You all are idiots if you think he's actually your friend. He's just like that manipulative bitch sitting with Bella. _They want our land_." With that, she stormed out of the cafeteria.

"I don't want your land," I assured them. "I didn't even know her dad was trying to buy you out until you guys told me."

Embry shrugged. "We know. Leah's just a bitch and thinks everyone's out to get her."

"I'm ready for this shit to be over today," Paul said, looking bored and stretching his arms over his head. "We need to have a big ass party with chicks and beer."

"Fuck yeah," Quil agreed. "Tonight at the beach."

"No way. It's cold as hell," Embry whined.

"That's what a fire is for, you idiot."

"My grandma will be pissed if I catch pneumonia."

"Why don't you marry your grandma," Quil said.

"Shut up, you douche!" Embry exclaimed, and attempted to lunge across the table to Quil, but Paul grabbed him by the back of the shirt and forced him back into his seat.

"We'll do it at someone's house," Paul said coolly, and looked at me. "What about yours?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Mine?" I asked dumbly. I'd never had a party at my house…well, not the kind they were thinking about, anyway.

"Yeah, it'll be awesome. You have a mansion, right?"

I chuckled. "No, definitely not. It's just a two-story house."

"Hell, it's bigger than my piece of junk," Paul stated.

My parents wouldn't be home, so it wasn't like they'd know about it. My only problem was Jasper, but I'd handle him.

"So, are you down?" Paul asked.

It would be just like every other night getting drunk, only there would be more people. Though, I wasn't sure about the whole "chicks" aspect. I'd rather smoke and drink than have to deal with another girl, to be honest. Then again, it could just be sex and nothing else…

After lunch, my mood plummeted. The last place I wanted to go to was Cooking. As soon as I stepped in, everyone looked at me in surprise. I took a seat in my usual desk, throwing my bag down carelessly. It hadn't escaped my notice that Bella wasn't here.

Mrs. Cope—or Principal Cope now—came into the classroom with some unknown middle aged woman just as the bell rang.

"Class, can I have your attention, please?" Cope asked. "As you know, I'm no longer a teacher, so I won't be teaching this class anymore. This is Mrs. Hopkins, and she'll be here for the remainder of the year." Cope's eyes suddenly found mine. "Ah. Mr. Cullen. You've been gone for quite some time, haven't you? I was never notified why it was exactly that you weren't here. Why don't you stop by my office later and we can discuss it."

Fuck.

Before I could even think of something to say, there was feminine laughter in the hallway, growing closer. My brow furrowed, because I recognized both of those laughs. Bella suddenly walked into the classroom, a large grin on her face. Tanya came inside shortly after with the same expression. Her stomach had a defined bump. If I'd ever had any doubts before that she was pregnant, I sure as fuck didn't now.

But what the hell was she doing here?

"Miss Swan, Miss Denali. Nice of you both to show after the bell has already rung. Take your seats," Cope ordered tersely.

I pretended as if I didn't give a shit that Tanya had just walked into the classroom with Bella, but I was about to fucking go ballistic. Tanya was in this class now? Absolutely fucking not. It was bad enough that I had to see Bella here, but her, as well? I wasn't going to stand for this shit. I was transferring out of this dumb ass class as soon as I could.

Bella and Tanya giggled under their breath as they walked to the back of the class and sat in empty desks. I kept my eyes forward, my jaw locked, as I fought with myself not to just walk out of here. They didn't mean anything to me, so I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. However, that didn't stop my paranoia, because I felt as if Bella's eyes were on me.

When class started, our new teacher introduced herself and shit, and then we were told to go to the back counter so we could make some sort of white bean soup that sounded disgusting.

For a while, I managed to ignore them both as I focused on dicing onions and trying not to slice my fingers off. But honestly, they were making it hard because they just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"What do I do now?" Tanya asked as she stared into the large pot in front of her on the stove.

Bella set her large wooden spoon on the counter and observed what Tanya was doing. "Just stir it every now and then so that the bottom of the pot doesn't burn," she advised.

"Hmm," Tanya hummed, sounding impressed as she followed Bella's instructions. "How do you always know what to do when cooking? You should be a chef."

"I don't think so…" Bella said, trailing off.

"I'm serious. Chefs can make a lot of money, too. When I was younger, my nanny was studying to be a chef, and when she finally got accepted into _Le Cordon Bleu_ in California, she quit. Last I heard, she's going to be competing in one of those racing chef shows on the Food Network. You can so do that."

"What's _Le Cordon Bleu_?" Bella questioned.

Tanya stopped stirring and looked at Bella incredulously. "Are you kidding me? It's only one of the most famous and prestigious culinary programs, ever. How can you not have heard of it?"

Bella merely shrugged.

"Well," Tanya continued, "your stuff is good enough for _Le Cordon Bleu_. In fact, you cook way better than my nanny did, who's all rich and famous and probably doesn't remember me."

Bella turned back to her own pot, giving her soup a few stirs. "Funny how people forget so easily…"

Yeah, and funny how people can be so fucking two-faced. Bella was being more open with Tanya than she'd ever been with me. It pissed me off so badly that I was almost tempted to turn to her and say something about it, but I couldn't let her know that I was even remotely thinking about her.

When class was done, it took me only five seconds to grab my shit and get the fuck out of there. The rest of the day flew by. I barely paid attention in any of my classes. Not having been here for so long put me behind, but I didn't have the will to want to catch up, to be honest.

The last bell rang, releasing us from school. Principal Cope had ordered me to go to her office, but like hell I was going. She'd probably forget about it, anyway, with all that was going on with the school lately. The guys had told me earlier that they were going to the shack; however, I wasn't up to it. Sam had given me some of his weed last night to take with me, so I couldn't wait to go home and light one up. My mouth was watering for it, and the only way to ebb the urge was to have a cigarette in the meantime.

As I walked to my Mustang, I flicked open my brand new lighter I'd bought from Port Angeles, which was just a simple black one. The smoke soothed my throat and lungs, and temporarily took away the need for something stronger.

I threw my bag into the passenger seat and was just about to get in, when Tanya and Bella suddenly passed my car, speaking in hushed whispers and discreetly glancing at me. I narrowed my eyes, my temper flaring in a split second. I couldn't even control it, and this time, there was no fucking way I could ignore them. Whatever reason they were suddenly friends was clearly just to piss me off—I was sure of it. Why else would they suddenly be all tight and shit?

I stomped my cigarette out, slammed the car door, and walked after them. They stopped in front of Bella's truck, continuing to whisper about something. However, when they realized I was a second away from them, they stopped abruptly and stared at me.

"Leave, Tanya," I demanded through gritted teeth as I glowered at Bella.

"Don't talk to her," Bella snapped, her brow furrowing in anger.

"What are you, her bodyguard now or something?" I spat in question.

"Um, I'll just come back in a minute," Tanya said quietly, and walked off.

"Yeah, you do that," I said sarcastically, then focused my entire attention on Bella, whose expression was the same as always when she was around me—an emotionless, guarded mask.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"What do _I_ want? I wanna know what the hell you're playing at."

"Excuse me?" she questioned, as if she didn't know.

"I mean, hanging out with that Christian whore."

Her nostrils flared and her eyes turned to thin slits. "Don't fucking call her that again," she seethed. "If you do, I swear to God, I'll—"

"You'll what?" I egged, taking a step toward her and towering over her small frame. She should know by now that I was the last person that would ever be intimated by her.

She stared up at me, her eyes never leaving mine, challenging me. "You know, not everything is about you."

"Right," I chuckled. "You just, out of the blue, decided to befriend her because you like her. Very believable."

"It's not out of the blue," she admitted. "Everyone in this damn school has been giving her a hard time, calling her names, even pushing her around. I got tired of seeing it."

"So, you took it upon yourself to play the martyr. How noble of you. You're such a _great_ person," I sneered cynically.

"Better than you," she said coldly.

I rolled my eyes. "Ooh, _ouch_. Hit me where it hurts, Bella." I turned to leave, seemingly done with this conversation, until I felt her soft hand on my arm. I quickly pulled my arm away as if I'd been shocked, and turned back to her with a glare.

"Richie," she said in a sigh, looking defeated.

"Don't call me that," I spat.

She sighed again and glanced away. "Look, I can empathize with her, okay? She needs someone and no one's there for her. Not her family, who kicked her out of her own home, her friends, who won't even talk to her, and not even you, someone who treats her as if she's the scum on their shoes." She looked at me, emotions swimming in her brown depths. However, in a flash, her expression turned hard. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to let _you_ stop _me_ from being there for her. So, just mind your damn business and go back to smoking weed, drinking, or whatever the hell it is you do lately."

"Oh, I will. You can count on that," I said. "You know, you two are perfect for each other. Both of you like to fuck around with guys' heads, keep them on leash, and get rid of them when you feel like it." I couldn't control the words coming out of my mouth. But it sure felt good to tell her off.

Her brow furrowed, turning quickly into a fake ass frown, like she was actually insulted by what I said. "Did Sam give you something recently?"

I kept my expression the same—stone cold. "The only thing he's given me is some crappy book. I threw it away. Wasn't worth my time." With that, I turned and went back to my car, feeling satisfied, and not feeling empty at all…not even a little.

X-X-X-X

The guys came to my house in the evening, bringing along about thirty or so people with them. I had no clue who most of them were. I was sure some looked like people from school, but I was so high, I didn't give a shit to look closely.

There was loud rap music blaring and people talking and laughing over the noise. I was sitting on the couch with Sam, smoking a blunt with him, while watching Embry, Quil, and Leah do shot after shot of rum.

"One…two…three," Leah said to them, and they all tipped back their umpteenth shot.

"I think that's your last one, Leah," Sam urged, passing the joint to me.

"I think not," she said, and poured another shot of rum to the brim, then tossed it back quickly. "I can drink you all under a bus."

"Or under a fifty year old molester, roaming the streets at night," Embry said with a snicker.

"That's not funny," Sam spoke, shaking his head.

"It's kinda funny."

"I thought it was hilarious," Quil interjected, and smirked at Leah, who rolled her eyes.

By the front door, I saw a mop of blond hair, causing me to groan in frustration. I handed the joint back to Sam and then stood. "Jasper," I called.

He had his backpack over his shoulder, most likely having gone to Alice's house straight after school. When he realized I said his name, he walked into the living room with caution, looking around at all the people.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you get my message to not come home tonight?" I asked, aggravated.

"So, you tell me to do something, which means I have to do it?" he fired back.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever. Feel free to hang out, have a beer, smoke some weed with us. Oh, but wait, you're too good for that shit, right? Whatever will Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme say if they find out?"

"I've smoked weed before," he said, crossing his arms in front of him.

I chuckled. "You're such a daredevil," I said dryly. "Look, just stay out of my way and we won't have a problem, got it?"

He rolled his eyes. "Like I want to even hang out with you and your loser friends," he said, and walked to the stairs.

"Cocksucker," Embry said in a cough, causing Jasper to glare at us over his shoulder before he disappeared.

I couldn't help but laugh as I sat back down.

Over the next hour, I'd had a few shots of rum, drunk a beer, and tried cocaine for the first time. The high didn't last too long, but when it had, it was as if I'd gotten all this extra energy out of nowhere, making me talk more and become extremely alert of what everyone else was doing. It was fucking awesome.

I was onto another joint as I chilled on the couch alone. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back and feeling calm. This feeling was the best in the world. My mind was empty, my entire body was at peace, and my usual stresses were gone. If I could sit here all the time like this, I would.

There was a dip in the couch next to me, causing me to open my eyes slightly and look to the side. My vision was bleary, but I could make out long blonde hair. When I blinked a few times, I realized who it was, and knitted my eyebrows together.

"Lauren," I said, my voice coming out raspy. "What are you doing here?"

She crossed her long, bare legs, her short red miniskirt hiking up her thighs slightly. "Paul invited me," she answered, and angled her body to me. "Why are you sitting here by yourself?"

I shrugged. "Feel like it."

"Wanna give me a hit of that?" she asked, nodding at the joint in my hand. There wasn't much of it left, but I passed it to her. She took a generous puff, blowing the smoke in front of me, and then gave it back. "That's nice. Where can I get some of that?"

"Got this from a friend, but I'll ask him for you," I offered, and took a long drag.

We were comfortably quiet for a while. I could feel her light blue intense eyes on me the entire time. I liked it and hated it all in one shot.

"So, you went from Mr. Swim Star, to Mr. I Don't Give a Shit," she observed. "Interesting."

"Glad I could interest you," I replied.

"What changed?"

_Everything. _

"Nothing much," I answered vaguely.

"Hmm," she hummed, and then traced a pattern lightly along my upper thigh. Her finger, so close to my dick, caused it to stir slightly. I almost moved away, but at the last second, I decided to sit still. "I never imagined you as the type to smoke and hang with the tough crowd."

"Guess we're all full of surprises," I said, a touch of bitterness to my tone as my mind decided to betray me and force me to think of someone I shouldn't be thinking about.

Her finger moved a little higher and a little closer to the place that was coming more and more alive by the second. It was feeling good, and I didn't particularly want it to stop right now. I inhaled sweet smoke, and her touch felt even better.

"Well, it's definitely a turn-on," she said, her tone lower. She pressed the palm of her hand to my thigh and began rubbing in small circles. When her fingers brushed against my now prominent erection, I jumped a little.

"Lauren, is there something you want?" I questioned tersely, my jaw tense.

She chuckled and then slowly palmed my length through the thick denim. I sucked in a breath, but didn't exhale, nor did I move. It felt good. It felt bad.

"That depends," she said flirtatiously. "Is there something you wanna give me?" I didn't answer her, my mind going blank as she continued to knead me through my jeans. She shifted her body closer to mine and brought her mouth to my ear. "I've been watching you for a while. I used to think you weren't my type at all…but now, you so are." Her hot tongue flicked out, wetting my ear.

My brain was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't understand it through the thick haze that was there. She removed her hand and ran it up my stomach as she slowly swung a leg over and straddled me. She was firmly placed on top of where I was straining against my jeans. Part of me wondered why, all of a sudden, I was reacting this way to her. I'd never so much as looked at her before…but now, I had an erection because of her.

She took the joint out of my loose fingers, set it in the ashtray on the coffee table behind her, and then placed her hands on my shoulders as she leaned down and ran her tongue up the expanse of my neck. My body protested at that, now fully aware that she was fucking straddling me when I hadn't said it was okay.

I almost pushed her away, suddenly wanting her to get the ever-lovin' fuck off me. But then I realized, I _should_ be letting someone like Lauren crawl onto my lap and practically grind on me. I was a free fucking agent and it was high time I started acting like one. Bella had chosen someone else over me, and now, here was my chance to choose someone else over her.

Lauren breathed against my jaw, warm air tickling me. "Does that feel good?" she asked huskily.

"It's alright," I answered, trying to keep my brain focused on the sensations alone.

Her lips weren't soft and plump like I liked, but I let her kiss my neck. Her moan wasn't wispy like I enjoyed, but I allowed her to take her pleasure from me as she rocked into me.

My dick was painfully hard. It clearly had a mind of its own, because I was quickly realizing that I just wasn't fucking into this at all. It wasn't like Lauren wasn't hot—she definitely was. But to me, it'd never been about looks. However, I wasn't going to let that stop me. From now on, I'd let my dick make the decisions, not my mind.

Her hands were wrapped in my hair, her teeth grazing my collarbone, her ass pushing into me over and over. The more she worked me, the more I just couldn't get into this. In one last-ditch effort, I grabbed a hold of her thighs and rocked her harder into me, causing her to moan into my ear. My dick enjoyed it, but it didn't actually do anything for me, personally.

Why couldn't I just fucking disconnect? She was a chick. She was hot. She had breasts, a pussy, and long legs that any guy would want wrapped around them. This should be easy for me. I should get up, take her by the hand, lead her up to my room, throw her on my bed, and sink into her.

"Got a place we can move this?" she questioned, running her hands down my chest.

_Now or never. Go up to my room with her. Be a goddamn man and fuck her like she wants._

I wrapped my hands around her hips and halted her movements. This didn't feel right in the least, but it was what needed to happen. If I had to admit it, and if the world didn't fucking hate me, there would be another girl I'd be considering leading up to my bedroom, but she was no longer an option to me. If I did this, the last thread keeping me attached to her would snap, and I could finally get over her.

Just as I was about to give Lauren an answer, my sight lined up with shimmering mahogany ones. My blood ran cold, my heart just about fucking stopped, and my entire body stiffened. Bella was standing on the opposite side of the living room, staring through the sea of people at me, with an expression that could've shattered me right then and there. It was a look of heartbreak, betrayal, and hopelessness.

When I realized she could see Lauren straddling my lap and me grasping tightly onto her hips, I knew instantly what this looked like to her. And it was exactly what it looked like.

Not even thinking properly, I dug my fingers into the flesh of Lauren's hips, overwhelmed by Bella's presence. An irrational wave of guilt burst through me. I didn't want Lauren on me anymore. "Get off me, Lauren," I demanded, my voice come out gruffly.

"What?" she asked, shocked. "I'm not even done."

"I am. Get off."

She traced her finger down my stomach and toward the button of my jeans. "I'll get you off if you just shut up and let me do this."

I grabbed a hold of her wrist tightly, causing her to flinch. "I mean it, Lauren. If you don't get the fuck off, I'm gonna throw you off."

She scoffed and climbed off me. When she stood, she glared down at me. "Whatever, Edward. You're gonna wish you had me. And when you come find me later, which I know you will, maybe I won't be available to you." Lauren grabbed the joint from the ashtray and walked off.

My eyes instantly went back to Bella just in time to see her suddenly spin around and begin moving hurriedly to the front door. _Fuck_. I didn't understand. Bella and I weren't together, and I'd just kicked Lauren off me, as if I'd been caught cheating or some shit. I hadn't betrayed Bella…_she'd betrayed me_. I was allowed to screw anyone I wanted because I didn't care about her anymore.

Then why was I standing?

Why were my feet moving?

Why was I pushing past people to get to her?

Who the hell was I kidding? I did fucking care about her. Every second I hadn't been with her for the past few weeks had made the hole in my heart grow larger. And even though she'd chosen someone else, I still wanted her. I wanted her body, her mind, her soul. I wanted to know every little thing about her. I wanted her to be mine and to be hers in turn. I wanted to love her and for her to love me back.

And that was when I felt it. A burst of heat inside me, a purifying energy that shot through my very core. It was exhilarating yet terrifying all at the same time. It was everything I'd never felt and everything I'd always wanted to feel.

From the moment I met her, she was an enigma, and in many ways, she still was, but that was what drew me to her, among other things—her stubborn tenacity, the secret soft side she rarely showed, her daring independence.

When the man in the bar on New Year's had asked me how I felt about her, I hadn't known. Now, it was as if I couldn't know anything else but it. She'd been everything to me for the last several months, and I'd given myself completely to her; put myself on the line for her.

I loved her.

"Bella," I called to her retreating back. I couldn't let her get away.

She swung open the front door and disappeared outside. I quickly made it to the entryway and ran out into dark, still night. She was already halfway down the walkway.

"Will you stop?" I begged desperately, and was about to jog after her, when a black motorbike came burrowing down the street and jolted to a stop right in front of my house.

Fucking Black! I was gonna murder him for showing up here. Who the fuck had invited him?

Bella picked up her pace, walking over to him as he turned off the engine. In a sudden move, she grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled his face to hers. Her lips crashed against his passionately, and he immediately responded with enthusiasm. His hands wrapped around her back, grasping onto her and pulling her to him as if he hadn't seen her in ages.

My entire soul split in two as I remained glued in my spot, not able to take my eyes off the scene before me. It'd felt like a thousand daggers had been thrown at me from every single angle, piercing the soft flesh of my battered heart.

Seeing the girl I was in love with, kissing another was enough to send me over into the deep. And the only thing I could wish for at the moment that would be better than this was death. So, with a hurricane of emotions thundering through me, I decided to be impulsive, but I knew, after it was done, I still wouldn't feel better.

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**A/N: **

**Oh no. What's he going to do? Can't say much. Don't want to give anything away. Next chapter—some might hate me, some might love me. Can't wait. Will try to get it out as soon as possible, just don't badger me.**

**You'll get a teaser if you review. **

**On another note, AYOR was nominated for several awards including "Best Angst,"**** "Best Shock Value," and "Best Must Read." I'm very honored and thanks to whoever nominated for these awards. I can honestly say that next chapter might definitely live up to shock value. If you'd like to vote, the links are somewhere on my profile.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx  
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**Rec: **

**_We Come to Life Beneath the Stars_ by Lillybellis  
**

**Bella and Edward work together, but don't get along. That's all I can say, even though it's a lot more than that, but I don't want to spoil it. If you're like me and you love not only an office fic, but a realistic Edward who's not exactly the perfect guy, then you should definitely read this. It's also, in my opinion, one of the best written fanfictions to come around in a while.  
**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: **

**That was an interesting response to the last chapter. Some hated Bella, some hated Riskward, and some just hated me. Yes, guys, this story is **_**angst**_**. I'm sorry to those that didn't see it before, but it's clearly stated above the chapter. Actually, it's angst/drama. But as usual, thanks to those that are sticking with me. Not everything is as it seems, and things could always change on a dime. **

**This is the hardest, most frustrating chapter I've ever had to write, so thanks for your patience as I took time to get it out to you all.**

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40-thank you both for your massive help. I'd like to say a special thank you to my fictwin, Belindella, for all the pre-reading and advice she gave. I really needed a crutch for this chapter and she went above and beyond helping me. Love ya, B!

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**_WARNING: there are parts of this chapter that might make you highly upset and may be quite hard to read. Please read with caution. Adult situations ahead. _

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My feet carried me to where I was convinced I needed to go. All that ran through my head was Bella kissing that cocksucking fucker who was currently putting his slimy lips all over the girl I loved.

Two steps. Three steps. Four steps. Five steps, and I was there.

Just as I reached Bella and Black, they pulled apart. I couldn't see her, because my eyes were only focused on him. He was _smirking_ at me.

"Well, Cullen. Guess you see now that—"

He didn't even get to finish that sentence before my fist connected with his nose. He and his motorbike both toppled sideways. The heavy machinery had one of his legs pinned to the ground, so I placed one foot on his motorbike, pressing down further. Blood was streaming from his nose, and his face was contorted in an expression of agony. Adrenaline was pumping through me, egging me to press harder on the bike.

_Snap his fucking leg_, my brain kept baiting me in a chant.

I could hear Bella's gasp next to me, but it didn't matter. I was still doing this.

"You're crushing his leg!" she exclaimed desperately, trying to pull the heavy bike off Black unsuccessfully.

"I'm gonna do a lot more than fucking crush his leg," I admitted, and pressed down further on the bike, igniting a throaty groan from Black. I was calm on the surface, yet internally I was boiling. I'd never felt this enraged in my entire life. "First, I'm gonna put him in a wheel chair just like his dad, and then when I've had enough enjoying that, I'm gonna kill him."

"Fuck, Cullen," Black choked, his eyes screwed shut as he tried frantically to get out from underneath. "Get this shit off me."

Bella began trying to push against me to move, but I wouldn't budge. "Stop! You don't know what you're doing!" she shrieked.

I stepped even more on the bike. I knew exactly what I was doing.

"Jesus fuck!" Black yelled, helpless to move.

"Please stop," Bella pleaded in a sob, grasping onto my shirt as she attempted to move me.

I whipped my head to her, regarding the angry tears streaking down her face. "You got what you wanted. You broke my heart to be with him. Now, you'll have him all you want—with one missing leg."

"I'm not with him," she choked.

"What the hell is going on here?" I heard Sam's distinctive, powerful voice yell out from behind me. "Edward, what are you doing?"

I ignored him, staring at her. What the fuck did she just say? "What?" I asked sharply, glaring at her.

"I'm not with him!" she shouted venomously, her dark eyes cutting through me. "I've never been with him."

I felt Sam push against me, and I let him, too stunned by Bella's words to stick with what I'd been doing before. He grabbed a hold of the bike and lifted, bringing it to an upright position. Black was lying on the ground, propped up on his elbows as he looked down at his limp leg.

"Can you get up?" Sam asked him.

"It's fucking broken!" he growled. "I can't do shit with it."

Bella's cries were quiet behind me. She was trying to mask it. I was still so fucking pissed, but now I just wanted to know what the fuck she was talking about.

"You mean to tell me that you're not with him, even though you were just kissing him?" I questioned in disbelief.

"Enough of this crap. You two need to work your stupid shit out," Sam seethed to Bella and me.

"You're fucking psycho, Cullen!" Black snarled, still sprawled out on the concrete ground like the pathetic shit he was.

"I'm not doing anything with him. I'm going home," Bella snapped to Sam.

"Like hell, Bella. Get your ass inside," Sam ordered.

"Yeah, Bella. Get your ass inside," I parroted, and grabbed her wrist tightly, yanking her toward the house.

She resisted against me, trying to pull her hand out from my grasp. "Let go of me, you dick licker."

I chuckled and stopped walking. In a quick move, I brought one arm down to the backs of her knees and lifted her bridal style. She was light as fuck. Did she ever eat?

"Let me go! I don't want anything to do with you anymore!" she growled.

"You really need to shut up," I said, speed walking us both inside.

The door wasn't as hard to open as I'd originally thought when I first decided to pick her up like this. Going up the stairs wasn't that hard, even. What was difficult was the fact that she was trying to sabotage the journey every step of the way. She tried holding onto the doorway, the banister, and yelling out for help over the loud music, but nothing worked.

For once, things were going to go my fucking way.

As soon as we got in my bedroom, I swiftly dropped her feet to the ground and locked the door behind us. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared daggers at me as I guarded the door, knowing she was going to bolt if I gave her the chance.

"Move out of the fucking way, Cullen," she demanded.

"Oh, it's 'Cullen' now? What happened to 'Richie'?" I questioned with a smirk.

"Would you prefer to be called douchebag?" she asked, her big eyes burning a hole through me. Even in her infuriated state, she still made me feel things that I'd never felt with anyone else. Her cheeks were colored with anger, a stark difference from her smooth, alabaster skin. I couldn't seem to find the will to be mad anymore. I just wanted to know what she'd meant outside.

"If that'll make you happy," I said, and smiled, amused.

Her nostrils flared, and she spun around, immediately walking over to my desk. She began grabbing random objects off it and chucking them at me. All I could do was try to block. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way!" She finished practically screaming and threw a book at my chest, which I blocked speedily. It dropped to the floor by my feet.

"Quit throwing shit at me!" I barked.

"Why don't you go back to Lauren?" she goaded, her hands firmly planted on her hips.

I raised an eyebrow. Was she fucking serious right now? "Why the hell would I bring you up here if I wanted to go to Lauren?"

Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, and she clenched them tighter if possible. "Move, now," she demanded through her locked jaw.

I leaned my back against the door, keeping my guarding stance. "No."

She actually _growled_, and then bent to the floor, picking up the book by my feet. She fucking hit me with it repeatedly on my chest, and I let her.

Abruptly, she stopped, a mixture of shock and confusion ridden on her face as she stared down at the cover of the worn copy of _An Edible History of Humanity_. "You told me you threw this away," she spoke in a gasp.

At the time, I'd just wanted to hurt her. I knew the book meant a lot to her, and by telling her I'd thrown it away, it was like I was getting my payback after she'd so blatantly hurt me. The thing was that I'd spent every night after that reading the book word for word. It was the only thing I had left of her.

I shrugged. "I guess I lied."

Her eyes snapped to mine, blackened by rage. She took a large step back and threw the book at me, before running into my bathroom and locking the door.

My head sagged forward in exhaustion. I ran both hands over my face, trying to gather myself. I was so fucking tired of this. I just wished that I could live in a world where Bella and I were normal fucking people that were happy all the damn time. Even though I loved her, I knew she didn't love me back. And in that normal world, maybe she'd actually return my feelings and not choose someone else over me.

I took steps to where she was, the door blocking me from fully getting to her. All I could do was stand there with my hands pressed against the door as I tried to wrangle with myself on what needed to be said.

"Why were you so upset when you saw me with Lauren?" I asked softly.

I heard a quiet sniffle. She was crying. "I wasn't," she spoke steadily, trying to disguise the rasp her voice carried.

I dropped my forehead to the cool wood of the door, wishing I could see her. "You were."

"I guess I never thought you'd be that kind of guy," she said so quietly, I barely heard her.

"What kind of guy do you mean?"

No answer.

"Bella," I said in a sigh. "I don't understand. I was told you're marrying Black, but now you say you were never with him. Which is it?"

Another sniffle. "Why do you care?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I don't know how to not care about you," I admitted. "I shouldn't care. I should be downstairs with someone else, to be honest."

"Then why aren't you?" she asked sadly.

"Because I…" _love you _"…Because I see you, and it's like I'm back to where I was several weeks ago. Even though I should be with someone else, I just can't."

There was silence for a long time. I continued leaning against the door, and her sniffles would echo every now and then. I wished she would come out, but at the same time, I felt more secure with her in there, where I couldn't see her face as she rejected me yet again.

After a while, I heard her sigh. "We were never together," she spoke. "We were engaged, yes, but never a couple."

I shook my head, not able to wrap that around my head. "How's that even possible?"

"It's possible," she snapped defensively, and then sniffled again. "We had a sort of…arrangement."

I furrowed my brow. "What kind of an arrangement?"

The door suddenly flew open, revealing a fierce Bella, her narrowed eyes red and full of moisture. "This isn't any of your business," she seethed, and stalked past me.

I grabbed her arm, spinning her around to me. "You're my business, Bella."

"What do you care, huh?" she asked. "You've done everything possible to avoid me these last few weeks."

"Because you_ chose_ someone else over me," I hissed, my temper flaring.

"I didn't have a choice at the time."

"And now you do?"

Her eyes became softer. "I called the engagement off."

I wanted to believe that she did, but I couldn't with what happened only several minutes ago. "So, your choice was to practically shove your tongue down Black's throat tonight," I analyzed bitterly, my entire body stiffening at the memory.

"I only did that to make you angry."

The kiss had pissed me off, but this…this pissed me off even more. "Why would you do that? After weeks of making me think you were going to get married."

"I tried to tell you at Christmas," she said, desperation slipping through the cemented cracks. "I knew you were at Sam's; I went there with the book. You were asleep, so I left it with him. You were supposed to see the book and come find me, but instead, you avoided me and lied to me by saying you threw it away."

"You think a damn book was going to solve everything?"

Tears began streaming down her face, and she batted them away swiftly, trying to hide them. "I didn't know what to do. I've never been in this situation!"

"What situation?" I asked loudly. I was getting fed up of this shit.

She pressed her lips together, refusing to respond.

I let out a single laugh in incredulity. "Bella, you don't care for me half as much as I do you."

"What?" she asked quietly. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"You don't even know the truth."

"Yes, I do. I have feelings for you, but you don't for me."

Her expression turned to one of utter heartbreak. "You think I don't have feelings for you?" she queried in a single breath. "Edward, you're seriously blind. Since the moment you bought me that stupid apple four months ago, all I could ever do was think about you. You pissed me off because you made me want to be a better person, even though I never will, and I hated you for it. But somehow, as much as I tried not to, I managed to fall in love with—" She stopped abruptly, vulnerable fear crossing her features.

Was she going to say what I thought?

My entire body became alert, my pulse quickening, the beating of my heart escalating in speed unnaturally. If I was right, she was going to say what I'd just realized tonight. Was she telling the truth? Did she actually return my feelings? Wouldn't I have seen the signs, if so? Maybe she was just that damn good at hiding it. I needed to know…she needed to tell me.

"Fall in love with who, Bella? I prompted, stepping right up to her.

"No one," she whispered. She looked like a deer in the headlights.

I brought my hands up to her face, cupping her angelic cheeks delicately. "Tell me. Who?" She was hesitating. I knew her answer, but I wasn't happy, because I wanted her to acknowledge it. "Don't be scared. Tell me."

She closed her eyes, her wet eyelashes fanning the tops of her cheeks. "You," she uttered so softly that it'd almost been inaudible.

I rubbed her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, trying to put her at ease, but it also did the same for me. In all the weeks I'd been angry and resentful, I finally felt like a huge, black cloud had moved away from me.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I requested, and she slowly did, her dark pupils settling on me. "Why are you so afraid to say that?"

"Because…if I put myself out there, and then you find out what I've done, I'll be the one with the broken heart."

I looked at her—really looked at her—and I knew that there was nothing, absolutely nothing, in this world that she could have done that would make me change my mind about her. My feelings for her were locked, the key thrown somewhere into the void I was leaving behind.

Leaning down, I hovered my lips over her plump ones, wanting to touch them, but needing her to know one solid thing first. "I'm not going anywhere."

She understood. The way her eyelids fluttered closed, a tear slipping out from underneath, showed me she finally got it.

Needing no permission, but knowing I already had it, I delicately molded my lips to hers, breathing in a contented sigh at doing this with her again. I could feel her small fingers barely touching my sides as she began to warily respond, tilting her head to the side.

Our kiss was slow, intimate, and everything it'd never been before. When we used to kiss, there was always a desperate need between us from not knowing what would happen the next day, but that wasn't the case this time. We weren't needy, because we finally had an understanding.

She pulled away slightly, keeping us close, but looking into my eyes sadly. "What about when school is over and you leave?"

I shook my head. This wasn't something that needed to be discussed at the moment. "Not right now, Bella," I whispered, and captured her lips again, just needing to be close to her like this. We could talk all we wanted later, but for the time being, I physically needed her.

She fully gave in, wrapping her arms around my neck and moving her mouth in time with mine. What was sweet before, now morphed into lustful passion. She pressed her breasts against me, exciting every part of my body. _Every_.

My hands had a mind of their own, feeling the contours of her back and moving down to her firm ass. I cupped both cheeks in my hands, grasping hard to let her know how much she fucking got me going.

She began to move backwards, so I followed her, not wanting to lose the connection. I had no idea where she was going until we both toppled onto the bed. I tried to shift my weight off her, but she kept me directly on her, attacking my mouth with a ferocity I'd never experienced from her before.

We were half hanging off the bed, so I tried to move us at least up further, because I knew I couldn't waste a second being apart from her just to lay us correctly. After a little maneuvering on my part and flipping her on top of me, we were finally comfortable enough to really get into it.

I was faintly aware that there were still people downstairs, but in my room, none of that existed. It was just a fleeting thought in my head, soon being overtaken by the sound of her breathy moan I loved so much.

Wrapping my arms tightly around her back, I rolled us so we both were face to face. I slowed our kiss and finally pulled back to look at her, my breath coming out in shallow pants.

"Should I get a condom?" I asked hopefully. I'd rather feel her without one, but with the amount of time we'd been apart, I was sure she'd most likely stopped taking the pill.

"If you want, but I'm still on the pill," she said, and pressed her lips to mine; however, I didn't kiss her back.

I moved my face an inch from hers. "You've been on the pill this entire time?" I didn't want to draw assumptions, but my mind was beginning to race with speculating thoughts of what exactly she'd done while we were apart.

"Yes."

"Have you…?" I began to ask, swallowing thickly. "Have you been with anyone else recently?"

Hesitancy clouded her eyes, causing my insides to churn. If she'd been with someone else, I didn't know that I could do this, at least not now. The idea of her with anyone else fucking killed me.

"I haven't."

I breathed easier, my thoughts coming back to solely her. "Good."

"I haven't been with anyone except you."

I furrowed my brow, confused by her words. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes dropped to my chest. "The first time with you was the first time I'd done something like that."

She was a virgin the first time we had sex? That couldn't be possible. Not only had she seemed so experienced to me, but I was sure she'd been with other guys from school. I never usually believed the rumors about her, but those ones were one of the few I actually considered to be true just because she always appeared so confident in her sexuality.

Looking at how vulnerable she looked, I could tell she wasn't lying, but I couldn't help feeling like there was more to this. However, I was sure now that she really hadn't been with anyone else but me. Knowing that I'd been her first was…it was indescribable. I hadn't ever considered it a possibility that we'd shared something in common when we first got together, but now I knew that we'd both really put ourselves out there for each other. I wished I'd have known that back then…things may have gone differently.

"You were only with me," I repeated, wanting to hear what it sounded like out loud. I lifted her chin, wanting her to look up at me. When she did, there was so much clarity swimming in her eyes. I felt like I could really understand her now. She'd wanted me all this time just as much as I'd wanted her. "You were my first, too, you know."

She nodded. "I know."

"You do?"

"That night in the shack when you said you'd only been with one person, I knew then. I hadn't known that it'd been your first time before that. If I had…I wouldn't have done that to you."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "Is that why you were so upset after that?" I remembered she'd hastily left the shack, appearing shaken up.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I hated that I took something like that away from you. Your first time should've been better than that, but it was wasted on me."

I rolled her onto her back, hovering over her so I could look down into her sullen brown eyes that were beginning to glisten. "_Wasted_?" I questioned, fucking offended. "My first time was with a beautiful girl, who doesn't seem to see herself very clearly. She's taught me a lot and has been the brightest part of my life, when things haven't been going so well. Don't ever refer to yourself as a waste again, Bella."

For a split second, she emitted a small smile, but then she turned her head away from me. "You don't understand…"

I angled her face back to me. "I understand that I love you," I spoke earnestly, feeling so liberated that I could be able to say that, knowing that she actually felt the same way, too. "How could I ever think of our first time as a waste when I feel this way about you?"

"I don't want you to regret it. I know what it's like…to regret."

I lightly pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, then her cheek. "I don't regret anything about us." I ran my hand down the side of her body, to her hip, and skimmed my fingers underneath her top, lightly teasing the soft skin there. "Do you regret anything about us?"

Her breathing changed, becoming shallower. "No."

I placed a short kiss on her jaw, and then moved across to her mouth. When our lips met again, there was so much resolve there. For the first time, I felt like we were on equal footing. We were just two teens, figuring out our lives together. I knew there was so much more to her than meets the eye, and I wanted to know everything, but I also needed trust between us. Right now, even after everything that had transpired, I felt like I could trust her. I knew she was mine. I knew that she could open herself to me. I knew we could be each other's bright spot.

"Do you trust me?" I asked against her mouth.

She nodded in silent response.

With that, I got on my knees and sat back on my haunches. She moved to a sitting position, a curious look reflecting from her eyes, and I brought my hands down to the hem of her shirt. I paused, letting her know what I was going to do, so that she had the option to stop. It was a surprise to me when she lifted her arms over her head. Given full permission, I lifted her shirt up and off, revealing valleys of smooth, white skin to me.

She wore a simple burgundy bra, enticing me to stare at her defined chest all night. I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, making sure she was okay to move forward, but apparently, she didn't need to be soothed. Her hands were already on the bottom of my shirt, pushing up slowly. I helped her by whipping it off and tossing it blindly. She wasn't shy, running her fingertips over my stomach muscles I'd once worked hard for with swimming.

"Lay down," I demanded gently, and she did, glancing up at me anxiously.

I bent down, first placing a kiss on her beautiful lips, then pressing another to her chest, between her full breasts, and a last one to her flat stomach. My tongue came out in a flash, licking a warm circle around her belly button. Her fingers wound into my hair, rubbing my sensitive scalp and making me want to fast forward to the main event.

I took my time, memorizing her feminine body in my brain as if it was the last time. Even though we'd been together before, it'd never been like this. This was different, slow.

My fingers toyed with the button of her jeans, wanting to pop it open. When she covered her hand over mine, I took the next step and unbuttoned them, pulling down the zipper afterward. She helped me by lifting her hips off the bed so that I could remove the denim completely.

She was just in a pair of panties and a bra. I wasn't trying to hide my blatant leer at her. I wanted her to know that she was sexy to look at. Her hips had a feminine curve to them, her breasts were the perfect size to me, and on top of that, the expression in her eyes was sensual, drawing me in and making me want to devour her on the spot.

Sitting up on my knees to her side, I brought my hands to her breasts purposely, kneading them, enjoying the feel of them. Her bra was great to look at, but I wanted to feel her skin-to-skin, so I moved the straps down her shoulders. She sat up, unhooked her bra, but didn't remove it. It was it like unwrapping an expensive gift. I wanted to savor every second until the reveal.

The straps fell further down her arms as my fingers tugged on the cups, unveiling two pink, pebbled nipples. I swallowed hard, feeling nervous for the first time tonight. She was giving herself to me so fully, something she hadn't done before. This was really happening. Though the nervousness was there, it wasn't enough for me to even think about wanting this to stop. I needed this to move forward.

"Are you just going to stare at me forever?" she asked, her tone teasing.

My eyes lifted to hers, and I smirked. "I'd love to, but there's something else I'd rather do."

She lay back on the bed, looking all delicious as she fanned her arms out. "Well, get to it."

I grabbed one of her hands and placed it at the top of my jeans. "You first," I said. Just as much as I wanted to take control, I also wanted her to do the same.

Instead of undoing my jeans, she skimmed her hand down the front and fully cupped my stiff erection. My breath hitched, taken by surprise. She fondled me freely, not timid at all with her firm groping.

"You're so hard," she observed, and finally moved her fingers to the button, popping it open in a swift movement.

"I guess that means I want you," I replied with a smug smile.

She rolled her eyes and tugged down on my jeans, taking my boxers with them. My dick was freed from its confines, bared completely to her. She'd seen it before, but this was different, I was sure.

I hopped off the bed briefly, removing my shoes, socks, jeans, and boxers. When I climbed back on the bed, I was naked and fully aware that she wasn't yet. Her matching burgundy panties were made of simple cotton, nothing fancy, but fuck, did they do things to me.

Hooking my fingers on the sides of her panties, I brought them down the expanse of her long legs, skimming my knuckles against her soft skin as I went. She lifted her legs for me, giving me easier access to take them off. After the fabric was merely a pile on the floor, her legs suddenly fell wide open, and my eyes flitted to her sacred area.

Shit.

How the hell was she this goddamn sexy? She'd never been with anyone else, and yet she knew exactly what would make me want to fucking explode.

I climbed over her and sunk down between her thighs, my length rubbing up against slick flesh. Our bodies were flush with each other, and all I could do was stare at her meaningfully. This was what I'd wanted all along—to have this kind of soul-baring intimacy-and now I was going to have it.

I propped myself on my forearms and kissed the top of one breast, earning a quiet sigh from her. Moving further down, I took a hard nipple into my mouth, sucking sensually. After running my tongue around her peak a few times, I moved to the other, wanting both to have equal attention.

When I finally broke away, I lined up my face with hers, eyes to eyes, lips to lips.

"I love you," I whispered, and brushed my nose gently against hers.

"Love you," she repeated in a sigh, wrapping her legs around my ass.

I shifted my hips a bit, aligning myself with her. When I was poised at her entrance, I stared into her depths, seeing not only her, but myself reflected back.

Without a second thought, I pushed into her, hot and moist walls conforming around me. She was tight, making everything feel so fucking good.

"Ungh," she moaned, closing her eyes.

My arms dug between her back and the mattress, holding her close to me as I pushed as far as I could go. I stilled once I reached maximum capacity, allowing her to adjust. She placed her hands on the back of my head, moving my face so my mouth came down on hers fervidly. Our tongues came out, massaging, tasting, feeling.

I couldn't be still anymore. I began to move, small bursts of pleasure already building in the pit of my stomach. Our pace was slow, appropriate to the mood. We'd always gone fast, too fast, and now, we were taking our time. Every second I was inside of her was precious to me, and it was important she knew that.

Her hips moved with mine, seeking her own pleasure. Remembering what would always set her off, I slipped a hand between our bodies. As soon as my fingertips made contact with her swollen nub, she ground her hips into mine, moaning loudly. She was so slick there, that it was easy to slide my finger in quick circular motions.

"Faster," she breathed.

I wasn't sure if she meant move faster inside of her or work her clit faster, so I did both. The only problem with moving quicker within her was that it was setting off my own pleasure, and I couldn't finish before her. It'd been a while since we'd been together, and my body was anxious for a release.

"Baby, I need to slow down," I spoke gruffly.

"No, don't," she begged, grasping onto the roots of my hair and gyrating her hips against mine. _Oh, fuck._ "Just keep going."

I grunted, dropping my forehead to between her neck and shoulder. I hoped I could keep this at bay or that she'd come quickly. As it was, her breathy moans were growing louder. She removed her hands from their tight hold on my hair and slithered them down to my ass, squeezing both of my cheeks hard. I slipped into her even further than before, causing me to groan. My entire body was becoming numb with sensation, meaning I was about to fucking blow.

"Ah, shit, Bella," I cursed in a choke, scrunching my eyes up. This was too much, yet felt so fucking good.

"I'm there," she whispered, scratching her nails up my back.

I slammed into her now, wanting her to come so badly. "That's it. Come on, baby," I encouraged.

Her fingers dug into my back, and she released a long moan. Her walls were convulsing around me. _Shit, shit, shit_. It was setting off my own climax, and soon, I was falling into the deep end, spilling everything I had into her. I pumped hard three more times, and then slowed.

Our breaths were uneven and loud. We were both sweating, hot flesh sticking to one another, yet I wouldn't change a thing. For a while, we didn't say anything, and I didn't move off her, except shift my weight a little so I wasn't crushing her.

That whole experience had made me feel closer to her. I wanted this moment to never end, but I also wanted to create more moments like this with her.

I pecked her cheek and slowly pulled out of her begrudgingly. When I moved off her small frame and rested on my back, she turned and molded to my side, resting her head on my upper arm.

"Thank you," I said, truly meaning it. I stroked her hair languidly, calming down from my euphoric high only moments ago.

She placed her hand on the side of my head and nudged me to look at her. As soon as I did, her lips were on mine. The kiss was lazy, since we were both exhausted from our activity, but in no way lacking our desire for each other. I rubbed her arm, feeling goose bumps forming.

I pulled away a fraction. "Cold?" I asked, and pecked her swollen mouth again.

"I'm hot," she replied.

I smirked. "Yeah, you are."

She snorted and lifted her head, looking down. "We're not even laying the right way on the bed," she observed.

We were still horizontal. It wasn't very comfortable, but I didn't have the will power to rest us both against the pillows. "Guess we aren't," I quipped, and wrapped my arms around her snuggly.

Her eyes were flitting around. "So…this is your room."

"Yeah," I replied, watching her.

"And your house."

I chuckled. "Yeah," I said. "I'm surprised you came."

"Sam invited me. He told me that I should tell you some things."

"What things?" I asked curiously.

She let out a shaky breath. "I don't know…"

I stroked her back, trying to get her to relax. "Hey, you can trust me. I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

For a moment, she simply stared at me, until I saw determination cross her features. "I do trust you." She began drawing patterns on my bare chest. "Remember in our freshman year, I was gone for a while?"

"Yeah, I kind of remember." I hadn't really known her back then, but I recalled her absence in a few classes for several months.

"A lot of people thought I just chose not to come, but I really couldn't."

"Why?"

"My father was the Chief of Police back then and every day after school I'd walk to the station. He'd be on duty, so I'd get some homework done for a while before we'd go home. We weren't exactly rich, so my mom couldn't pick me up. My dad always told me to stick to walking the main roads to get to the station, and I always did.

"One day, I was walking on the main road. I passed one of those small alleyways. I'd passed by it a million times and nothing ever happened. Out of nowhere, I was pushed into the alley and my head shoved against the brick wall. I blacked out, and when I woke up…my skirt had been ripped and there was blood running down my legs…"

I stopped breathing, feeling like my lungs were caving in on me. "You…you were raped?" I asked her, but I already knew the answer.

She nodded, her expression blank. It was as if she was completely detached from it. However, there was a mixture of anger and hopelessness running through me. Anger, because I wanted to fucking hunt down whoever did that to her and kill them, but hopelessness, because I knew I couldn't.

"I was scared, so I ran to the station. I wasn't sure at the time what happened…I was so young, not just in age but also mentality. I was the little, innocent, studious daughter of the golden parents everyone loved so much."

"Who was it?" I asked, trying to control my tone and stay calm for her.

She looked away, staring up at the ceiling. "It's not important."

"The fact that you were raped by someone isn't important?" I spat, my temper flaring. If I found out who took advantage of her, I was going to murder them.

Her eyes snapped to mine. "Don't," she said tersely.

"Don't what?"

"Don't think you can do anything about it. It was a long time ago."

I sprung up and off the bed, reaching for my carelessly tossed boxers and jeans. In a flash, I put them on, my blood coursing like never before.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, sitting up on the bed. I wanted to admire how beautiful she was, her bare body having a moist glow to it from her sweat, but I was so enraged that I couldn't think about anything but justice.

"I'm gonna go find the bastard," I spoke hurriedly, throwing on my shirt.

"And where exactly are you going to find him, huh?" she asked. "You don't know who did it, and it was a long time ago."

"Was it Black?" I asked impulsively.

"What?" she near shouted, and climbed off the bed. She snatched her underwear from the ground, slipping it on. "He would never do that. _Ever_."

I sat down on the bed, trying to get a hold of my incensed emotions."Who, then?"

She'd already clasped her bra and was now pulling up her jeans. "Just drop it, Edward. Please," she begged.

I sighed, gazing up at her. I wanted to help her, protect her in some way, but I felt powerless, especially if she wouldn't tell me who did it. I was sure, though, that I would find out, and when I would, they'd pay.

I stretched to the ground, picking up her shirt, and then stood. After bunching up the fabric, I pushed her arms through the sleeves and over her head. She pulled it down the rest of the way.

"There's something else…" she spoke quietly, and sat on the edge of the bed.

I looked down on her for a brief moment before sitting next to her. "What is it?"

"I wasn't…" She paused. "I wasn't just raped."

"What do you mean?"

She breathed in deeply, as if gearing herself up. "He…I ended up having a baby."

I remained still, not breathing, not moving a single muscle. Had I just heard her correctly? "Baby…?" I managed to rasp out, but my mind felt like mush. I couldn't seem to digest it. "What do you mean?"

"I became pregnant and gave birth. That's why I was gone for a while."

It finally clicked in my head, my body becoming stiff from the shock. Of everything, I'd never thought this in a million years. Part of me didn't want to believe it, but the other part knew, for certain, that this was true. Her absence, her overall reluctance to get close to me, it all tied in with that.

I rubbed a hand over my face, completely exasperated. I couldn't even find any words to say in response.

"Please say something," she whispered, and when I didn't, she stood. "I knew I shouldn't have told you."

"I just…I don't know what to say."

Her eyes fell to the ground, and she nodded. "I understand," she spoke, and turned toward the door.

She thought I was turned off by this. I couldn't let her think that, so I quickly grabbed a hold of her hand, halting her from moving. "I told you, Bella. I'm not going anywhere," I spoke with ease. Even though I was a little shaken up, there was one thing I knew for certain, which was that this didn't change how I felt about her. "I just need a second."

She remained standing, frozen in her place as she looked upon me with guarded yet apprehensive eyes.

"Who knows about this?" I questioned finally.

"Embry, Quil, Paul, Leah, and Sam know roughly what happened to me, but not specifics."

"It always seems like they're trying to protect you."

"They are," she admitted. "They mean well, but I don't need protection."

I sighed, because all I wanted to do now was protect her. "What about Black?"

She took a step back toward the bed and sat, staring down at her hands in her lap. "He knows more than them."

I furrowed my brow. "Why?"

"He and I have been friends since we were toddlers. Our fathers were best friends and both worked down at the station, so our families were always getting together. When it happened, I couldn't look him in the eye anymore, or anyone, for that matter. I didn't want him to know and stop being friends with me. The only problem was that he knew something was up and kept hounding me to tell him…so I finally did.

"Everything changed after that. He stopped coming over, and on the chance that I would see him, he acted distant, like he wanted nothing to do with me. It completely destroyed me, because the one person I confided in couldn't stand the sight of me. I felt truly alone for months.

She shifted, looking uneasy. I wanted to reach for her hand, but I was too stiff to move. "It wasn't until I finally went into labor that we reconnected again. My dad was…well, he was gone, and my mother…" She shook her head, as if dispelling some memory. "She was gone, too. I stayed home, alone, scared, with no one to help or guide me. When I was about to have…the, um, baby, Jake came miraculously. And it was like we'd still been friends all those months, like nothing had ever changed. He was the_ only_ one that came for me, that even cared.

"After the birth, he told me that all those months, he'd been working a couple part time jobs and saving up for me and the baby. He'd ignored me for so long because he was afraid I would find out and stop him." Her voice became raspy, and I noticed a single tear trickling down her cheek. She'd remained calm up until now, but this seemed to upset her. I was finally able to move, and I did what I should've done before—I grabbed her hand. She glanced at me with sparkling eyes, before regarding the floor. "I couldn't believe he'd done something so selfless, when I was planning on doing something entirely selfish."

"What was that?" I asked.

"I was going to abandon it," she said, no emotion in her tone.

"Where?"

"I hadn't thought it through at all, and I didn't care where. I just wanted it gone. When Jake cut the umbilical cord and cleaned everything up, he tried to get me to hold…the baby. I couldn't even hold it because I wasn't going to touch something that belonged to _him_." Her voice was laced with malice and bitterness. "Jake told me that he'd take it somewhere if I wanted, and so he did."

"He just took it, and you don't know where?"

She didn't respond immediately. "No, I know where. I found out that he dropped it off at a Catholic church up north. Without anyone seeing, he left it on a church pew with all the money he'd saved up. He hadn't even told me he was going to do that. When I found out, I was so angry." A sob finally escaped her.

In a flash, I had her in my arms, holding her to my chest as she cried. "Why were you angry?"

She sniffled, rubbing her nose. "Because there I was, the fucking mother of that baby, and I didn't even look at it twice after the birth, but there was Jake, someone not even related to it, and he cared more for it than I did. I'm a cruel, awful person that doesn't deserve any happiness."

I held onto her tighter as she continued sobbing helplessly. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't relate, obviously, but because of how I felt for her, I wanted to know her pain. If I could've taken away her past, I would've.

"Bella," I started, my voice barely above a whisper, "you were raped and then got pregnant because of it. With how young you were, no one would've expected you to be happy about keeping the baby."

We stayed silent for a few minutes, with my arms tightly wrapped around her shaking body. I realized that though Bella seemed so together most of the time, she wasn't, as I was witnessing now. She kept herself distant and emotionless, but in reality, a flood of emotions were always lingering right on the edge.

"There's one thing I don't understand," I began, once her cries had died down to mere sniffles. "Why were you engaged to Black?"

She pulled out of my grasp, and I let her, but her body was still angled toward me. "After everything, my entire life took a nosedive. That's when I started using, drinking. One day, he gave me a cheap ring from a pawn shop with a promise to take me away from all the bullshit in my life once high school was finished. I knew that he'd always had feelings for me, so his proposal meant something for him. After all he'd done for me, I felt like I owed him, that I needed to do something for him in return. My life is nothing, anyway, and I'll just end up being a waste of existence, so I agreed."

Anger fueled inside of me at her words. How the fuck could she say that? Did she even give a shit about herself? Did she have _any_ self-worth? "The last thing you are is a waste of existence, Bella."

She sighed, looking tired, the life completely gone from her. "I think I wanna go home."

Although I wanted her to stay, I couldn't argue with her, especially after everything she'd told me. But, to be honest, I was worried about her. All I wanted to do was keep her by my side and protect her, to let her know that she wasn't a waste of existence.

"I'll take you home," I offered.

She shook her head. "I drove my truck here, so it's fine."

"We can leave your truck here overnight and pick it up tomorrow."

"I don't know…" she spoke, appearing wary.

I rubbed her cheeks with the back of my knuckles. "Please, Bella. I need to do this." I felt like I had to do something to keep her safe.

"Fine," she relented. "This will only be a onetime thing, though, right? The guys try to protect me enough, and I don't need another person trying to do the same. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, just this once," I lied. I wouldn't tell her that I planned on doing so much more than simply protecting her.

X-X-X-X

The entire way to her house, I had my hand in her lap, our fingers lacing and unlacing with each other's slowly. The ride was silent, both of us absorbing the thoughtful mood we were in.

My mind was racing with so many theories, accusations, and questions. The fact that she was raped was one horrible thing, but then to have a child as a result…

I could tell her past was a sore subject, so I didn't ask any more questions, but I hoped one day she could fully confide in me just who could fucking do a thing like that to someone so damn sweet, like she said she once was. She was still sweet to me.

When I pulled up to her dark house, we both looked at the car that was parked half on the driveway, half on the front lawn. I knew from what I'd been told that she lived with her father. She was staring at the house in a daze, and I suddenly became worried.

"You okay?" I asked.

She barely nodded her head. "My dad is home," she spoke quietly. Her voice was uneven, and she seemed nervous for some reason. I didn't know why, but I suddenly didn't want her going in that house alone.

"Tell me what's wrong."

She looked at me, trying to mask her emotions, but I wasn't fooled. "He's not usually around. I'm just surprised to see his car here, I guess."

I unclicked my seatbelt. "I'm coming in with you," I said with determination. Like hell I was letting her go in there with someone that couldn't even fucking park properly in the driveway.

"N—No," she stuttered desperately, her eyes swimming with fear. "Just go home, okay?"

I refused to listen to her as I opened my door and climbed out. I heard her call my name from inside the car. She stepped out into the black night just as I walked around to her side.

"Did you hear me? I said _go home_," she demanded haughtily.

"I think you're the one who didn't hear me. I told you I wasn't going anywhere, didn't I?"

She sighed in defeat and slowly began to walk to the front door, as if taking her time would delay actually going inside. I followed directly alongside of her. There was a flashing light coming from one of the dark windows. I gathered that it was the light from a television.

When we reached the front door, she cast me a sideways glance. I could see the doubt, worry, and pain on her face. I didn't know what would happen on the other side of that door, but what I did know was that I wasn't letting Bella out of my sight.

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**A/N:**

**Well, Bella's secrets are out. Imagine trying to get close to someone after what she's been through. Now you see why she couldn't be with Edward, knowing she had made life plans with Jake, who she's indebted to. It's a lot to swallow, I know. And there's still so much growing Bella and Edward need to do.**

**The next chapter is almost finished, so maybe there will be an update in a week? I hope so. But I can't make any promises.  
**

**Until then, review for a teaser. **

**Rec: **

**_Oceans of Doubt _by Belindella**

**Hot surfing Edward and a Bella that doesn't need anyone. Both genuinely dislike each other. They are both on winter vacation and go with their families down to Mexico. Since they're all friends, except Edward and Bella, they share the same house. Their chemistry is fantastic and the sexual tension is thick. Edward is quite the mystery, too. The link to it can be found on my favorites.

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**

**AYOR made it to round two of the Avant Garde awards for "Best Shock Value." Thanks for voting during the first round! If you would like to vote this round, the link should be on my profile. But the voting starts on the 11th.  
**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: **

**Thank you all for being so patient with the amount of time I took to post this chapter. Holidays and other projects distracted me. But here I am now. I know I should've sent out teasers to everyone, but my beta got this back to me quicker than I anticipated. I figured you'd all want the update instead of the teaser. So, tadaaa.**

**I'd like to say thanks for handling the last chapter with so much maturity. I didn't have one flame, which was great. And I'm glad none of you faulted Bella for not wanting to keep a daily reminder of something bad that happened to her. **

**Beta is Lindz26 and Renas40 is pre-reader. Both are amazing for giving this back to me so quickly during the holidays.

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**

The entire house was dark, save for the flashing glow of the television, with a low volume emitting from it.

Bella looked into the darkened living room, then back at me. "You really should go. I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered as quietly as possible.

There was a loud grunt that echoed toward us. Both of our heads whipped to the sound. I could make out a black figure rising up from what looked like a recliner, facing the television.

I grabbed a hold of Bella's arm, keeping her by my side as I watched the figure moving closer slowly.

"Maybe you should come with—" I began to say, but was cut off by a loud, gruff voice.

"Who the hell's there?"

"Edward, _go_," Bella whispered in demand, pushing against my side to move to the door. I stayed rooted, determined. Giving up, she turned to the voice. "Dad, it's just me, Bella. I'm going up to my room." Her tone was casual, as if she said that all the time.

Her dad walked into the entryway, holding an uncapped silver flask. The moon shining in from the windows illuminated his face, and it was then that I realized I knew him. I'd seen the same man at the bar in Port Angeles on New Year's. He had the same thick beard, leather bomber jacket, and a hard, worn expression.

He stared directly at Bella, as if not seeing me at all, and took a swig of whatever was in his flask.

"You can go back to watching TV, Dad," Bella said, her voice betraying her now as it shook slightly.

He took one step forward, staggering a bit. "Renee, you're late," he said, his voice hoarse.

_Renee?_

"I'm Bella," she replied, and gestured to me. "This is Edward. We're just going up to my room."

His glazed over eyes finally found mine, growing darker as he sized me up. "Who the goddamn hell is he, Renee?" he growled, and took another staggering step. I moved slightly in front of Bella protectively. "So, you're fucking someone on the side, huh?_ I knew it._"

She grabbed onto the side of my shirt, grasping it tightly and trying to tug on me. "Dad, stop."

"I knew that was the reason you've been gone so much," he barked, and abruptly threw the flask over her head. We both ducked, even though it was far off from hitting either of us. It crashed loudly against the wall, then clambered to the floor, the liquid spilling out.

I tried to push her directly behind me, but she was already moving to the stairs, pulling roughly on my wrist.

Her father stumbled to the stairs after us, but didn't walk up. "I've got someone on the side, too, ya know!" he shouted. "And she's a better lay than you ever were!"

We reached the top of the stairs, and she quickly turned and led us into a room.

"You hear me, Renee? I don't need a whore like you anymore, because I've got a better one who does whatever the hell I ask her to!"

She shut the door hastily and walked toward the nightstand next to a small, double-sized bed. I noticed she didn't lock the door, so I did it for her.

She turned on the lamp, dim light flooding part of the room. "You don't need to do that," she said, sounding absurdly calmer.

I ignored her, my head spinning. "What the hell was that?" I asked angrily. Did she have to put up with this shit all the time?

She sat on her bed with a sigh. "He drinks a lot."

"Yeah, I got that," I snapped. After all, he fucking threw a flask at her head, practically.

"You can move from the door, Edward. He won't come in."

I hadn't moved an inch, guarding the door just in case that asshole decided to burst through, and also, I was too shocked to even move. Listening to her, I took only one step forward, my eyes roaming her room. The walls were dark purple, as well as her bed. Opposite, there was a small bookshelf, but that was really it.

"Who's Renee and why was he calling you that?" I questioned.

She didn't reply for a moment, until she finally shifted how she was sitting, bringing one foot up on the bed and resting her chin on her knee. "She's my mom."

"He thinks you're your _mom_?" He should be in a fucking loony bin. The thing was that he hadn't seemed so insane when I'd spoken to him at the bar.

"Only whenever he's drunk. Normally, he's not here. He has a girlfriend…or a fuck buddy, whatever," she said, sounding bitter. "Sometimes, he'll come here when he hasn't been drinking, but we don't even bother crossing paths. When he's like that, I usually stay up here in my room or go somewhere else."

"Has he ever hurt you?" I asked, feeling my hands clench at my side.

She shook her head, looking down. "No."

I finally walked to her, sitting down on the bed by her side. I felt like she was lying to me. "Bella, I'm getting you out of here." I couldn't chance her getting hurt by her own father.

"No," she said pointedly. "Like I said, he doesn't even come around that much. I don't know why he's here tonight, but he'll be gone in the morning."

"What if he comes up here? I'm not going to risk that."

"He doesn't. That's why I said you didn't need to lock the door. He just stays down there. Hasn't been up here in years."

I furrowed my brow. "He hasn't come up here at all? Not even to sleep?"

"No, he usually sleeps on the couch…the recliner…the floor…"

All I wanted to do was steal her away. I couldn't believe she put up with this shit, regardless of whether he rarely came around. He seemed fucked up, and she didn't need that…especially if he'd hurt her, which I was banking he had.

"So, all he does is get drunk," I observed.

"He wasn't always like that. He used to be normal, happy, even. He and my mother had the picture perfect marriage. They were liked by everyone. But when everything happened with me, my mom left."

"She left just like that?" I asked incredulously.

"Just like that," she said, her tone controlled, but had an underlying resentment. "She stayed for a while, but she was paranoid the town would find out and our reputation as a good family would be tarnished. When we found out I was pregnant, I guess her paranoia got to her. One day, she said she was going to the grocery store and then never came back."

I was at a loss for words. To think that she had barely anyone over the last few years, especially during a time when she needed guidance.

"How could someone just abandon their—?" I stopped myself when I realized what I was saying, and then glanced at Bella, who had her hands balled into fists. Fuck, how could I be so insensitive?

"I ended up just like her," she said tersely. "Only, I'm worse."

I grabbed her hands in mine and rubbed her knuckles. "You're nothing like her. What she did was for her own benefit."

"And what I did wasn't for my own benefit?"

"No. You were young and angry because you'd been violated. _She _was an adult and chose to leave because she didn't want people to think differently of her."

She chuckled once cynically and shook her head. "Anyway, my dad didn't take it all too well."

If he was gone a lot, that meant she stayed by herself most of the time. That had to get lonely, but it was probably better than having an insane father around. Though, I did remember she had someone here lately.

"Wasn't Tanya staying with you?" I asked.

She didn't answer straight away, I guess surprised I would bring Tanya up. "Yeah, for a while, but her parents finally got their heads out of their asses and told her to come home."

"Oh," was all I said.

"That was the longest my dad was gone," she said. "I don't know if he knew she was here, but he stayed away."

I smirked. "Natural repellent."

She glared at me. "She's a nice person, and she's lucky."

"Why is that, exactly?"

"Even though her mom and dad kicked her out for a while, at least they came back into her life." Her voice held a shred of sadness, and I knew exactly what she was referring to.

I brought her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her, needing to feel her close. "You may not have your mom, or even your dad, but you have your friends, right?"

She nodded slowly. "But sometimes, you need more than that."

I held onto her a little while longer. I liked that she was being open with me, but I could tell it was taking a lot out of her. She was getting tired and would need to sleep soon.

When there was a loud crash downstairs, I knew I couldn't have her staying here with someone so unpredictable.

"We're leaving," I commanded, and stood, bringing her up with me.

"I told you that he doesn't come up here."

"I don't care, Bella. I'm not letting you stay here. Now, let's go."

She groaned, crossing her arms over her chest. "This is where I live. I can't keep running away."

"You run away?"

She sighed heavily. "I sometimes sleep at the shack."

I remembered that one time I found her sleeping on the ground there. How often did she do that? And how could she stand the hard floor?"

"We'll go to my house. My parents are still on vacation," I offered.

"I'm not going there," she snapped.

I arched an eyebrow. "Why not? I've got a bed, a bathroom. Jasper's there, but he knows not to bug me—"

"_I said_, I'm not going there, so just drop it."

What the hell did she have against my house? Either way, I wasn't going to argue with her.

"Fine. We'll go to the shack, then," I relented.

I helped her gather some items she said she usually took with her—two blankets, two pillows, and some toiletries that she stuffed in her school bag.

When we were done, she walked toward the door, but I wasn't letting her go down there again, so I climbed out her bedroom window and onto the thick branch of a tree near it. It wasn't that far down, so once I got about halfway, I jumped to the ground. She threw her backpack to me from the window, followed by her pillows and blankets. She was able to climb down herself, but once she was within arm's reach, I grabbed a hold of her waist and gently dropped her feet to the ground.

From there, we got in my Mustang and drove to the school. I briefly wondered what was happening back at my house, but I was too caught up in Bella to really care. I probably had a big ass clean up, though. Good thing my parents wouldn't come home for another few days.

We arrived at the shack and lit one of the candles, providing us with a soft glow. She laid out both blankets on the ground, along with the pillows. It was already past midnight, and we'd have to get up for school early in the morning, so I set the alarm on my phone.

After she got settled, I slid between the blankets after her. This shit was uncomfortable as hell, but I put up with it. Resting on my back seemed to provide me with the least discomfort. She turned, facing me, and laid her head on my upper arm.

"I don't know how you can do this," I commented, wrapping one arm around her.

"You get used to it after a while."

"Why don't you want to sleep at my house?"

She sighed. "I really don't need your charity, Richie."

"Is that what you think?" I asked. I'd never meant for my offer to come across like that. "It's not charity. I want you there. Anyway, I kind of like the idea of sleeping with you in my bed."

She chuckled and maneuvered herself so her chin was resting on my chest as she stared up at me. "Well, when you put it like that, maybe it doesn't sound so bad."

I smiled. "Good, then you'll come over tomorrow night?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she grumbled.

"And you're not going to ignore me tomorrow at school, are you?"

She snorted. "You're the one that's been ignoring me lately."

"But I won't now."

She smirked up at me. "Does that make us boyfriend and girlfriend?" she teased in question.

"Yes," I answered automatically, to which she frowned. "What's that for?"

"I don't think I'd make a good girlfriend."

I furrowed my brow. "Why not?"

"Well, for one, I'm not exactly someone you can take around your parents."

I hadn't thought about that, but to be honest, Bella was someone that I wanted in my future. I knew she wasn't the perfect angel parents would hope their children would date, but I loved her, and that was what counted. "You don't know that. Besides, I'm not exactly on speaking terms with my parents right now."

"Oh, right. Daddy wants you to be a doctor, and you don't."

"Something like that," I murmured. "Anyway, don't worry about whether you'd make a good girlfriend. I like you the way you are."

Even in the slightly dark room, I could see a small smile forming on her face. I looked down at her lips, wanting to kiss them, but it didn't feel…right, so I pecked her forehead instead. Her eyebrows knitted together momentarily before she rested the side of her head on my chest again.

We lay there for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the night and watching the candlelight flicker across the walls. I could feel her hand suddenly creep down my stomach slowly. My dick was already reacting against my own will. We couldn't do that. It wasn't right.

I grabbed her hand and gently placed it back on my chest. After a few seconds, her hand began to go south again.

"Bella," I whispered in warning, setting her hand back where it was before.

She scowled up at me. "Why do you keep doing that?"

I shifted uncomfortably, not just from the fact that I was lying on a hard floor. "It's late, and we have school tomorrow."

"Oh, really?" she questioned haughtily. "If I hadn't told you what happened to me, would you be moving my hand away right now?"

I sighed and brought my free hand up to my eyes, rubbing them. I wanted her to touch me, and I wanted to do the same to her, but I didn't want anyone taking advantage of her again. If that meant I couldn't do anything with her, then so be it.

"I don't want to hurt you," I said softly, hoping she'd understand.

"When have you ever hurt me?" she asked. Without giving me a chance to reply, she moved away from me and flipped on her other side. "Forget it. Night."

She was mad at me. It was probably just as well, because I knew I wouldn't be able to be with her without thinking about her being violated.

An unmeasured amount of time passed, when I finally heard her breathing even out. I wasn't able to sleep, my mind racing. I was mentally exhausted, but all I could do was watch her. She turned over, facing me. When she slept, her entire features would become so serene, so innocent. Right now, it comforted me to see her like that, and slowly, my eyes began to shut on their own accord.

When I woke up next, the shack was shrouded in darkness, the candle having gone out. I retrieved my phone from my pocket and saw that it was five in the morning. From the light of the cell, I noticed that the spot next to me was empty.

Where was she?

I sat up, looking around. She wasn't even here. Whipping the blanket off, I stood, my back protesting. Lighting up my phone again, I could see her backpack was still sitting in the corner.

Inwardly starting to panic, I walked outside hurriedly. _Shit, I should've stayed awake!_ The moonlight was shimmering between the trees, allowing me to see where I was going as I jogged past the shack and to the clearing.

What if something happened to her?

As I entered the open space, I noticed a large, black figure lying on the ground toward the center of the clearing.

That had to be Bella.

As fast as I could, I moved toward her, hoping like hell she wasn't hurt.

Her eyes were closed and her chest was slowly rising and falling. She was sleeping. Had she come here sometime in the night? I knew she sleepwalked sometimes, but wouldn't I have heard her leaving?

She looked so peaceful, curled up in a ball with the tall grass surrounding her. It was fairly cold out, so, with a sigh, I bent down, placing a hand under her head, another one under the back of her knees, and then lifted. She moaned softly in reluctance, not liking having been disturbed, and burrowed herself into my chest. I walked us back to the shack.

"Edward?" I heard her rasp quietly. Looking down, I watched her eyes flutter open.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered, just as I walked us inside. I set her back on the floor, making sure to cover the blanket over her.

"What time is it?" Her voice was groggy, waking up.

"Past five," I guessed.

She groaned, rubbed her eyes, and sat up. "I need a cigarette."

I patted my pockets and frowned. I left my pack at home. I'd have to run back before school and get it. "I don't have mine with me. We'll go to my place and get my pack. I need to change, anyway."

She shook her head. "You can go. I'll stay."

Absolutely not. "No, you should come with me."

"I'm not going to your house just to get your cigs, Richie. You go, get changed or whatever, and when you come back, I'll bum one off you."

"I would really feel better if you just came with me."

She muttered something inaudible to herself before standing and regarding me with determined eyes. "Look, I get it, okay? You want to protect me. They _all_ want to protect me. But shit might happen to me regardless, and you can't always be there to watch me. I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a while now. So, please, for the love of all fuck, just go get your goddamn cigs."

My jaw tensed. I was angry that she thought she was invincible and was too stubborn to let me take care of her. However, I didn't want to upset her, especially after yesterday, so with a displeased grunt, I exited the shack.

I only got a few steps, before I thought better of it and turned around. I stormed back inside and to her. In a flash, I had my fingers pushed in her silky hair and my mouth on hers firmly. She grabbed onto my waist, bringing me closer. We stumbled around a bit, our lips pushing and tugging.

Finally, the kiss slowed to a stop. I pulled back all the way, taking in her dazed expression. Without a word, I left the shack again, a smirk on my face.

X-X-X-X

A long string of smoke swirled from her mouth and toward me. The smell of tobacco so early in the morning really got my mouth watering.

"This is awful," she said, taking another puff of my cigarette.

"Then why are you smoking it?" I asked.

We were leaning up against my Mustang a few minutes before we knew we had to go inside the school. I'd gone home and come back quickly, but was surprised to find there wasn't one part of the house that showed signs of there being a party. Either the house had magically fucking cleaned itself, or Jasper had. Part of me wanted to be mad at him, just because that was the norm lately, but I really couldn't.

"Do I have any other options?" she questioned. "I'm getting my own pack from home at lunch. These should be too strong for you, considering you just started smoking."

I chuckled. "I can handle them," I assured, and took the cigarette from between her fingers, taking a quick drag before giving it back to her.

She shrugged and inhaled one last time before stomping it out on the gravel. "Okay, I'm ready." She picked her bag up from the ground, pushing one arm through the strap.

I slung my arm around her shoulders as we walked toward the building. I was aware all the idiots were looking at us, probably wondering why we were so chummy with each other, but I didn't give a shit, really. She was letting me treat her like how I'd wanted to for a while, so that was all I was focusing on.

"So, you're coming over to my house tonight, right?" I questioned, shooting her a quick smirk. I hadn't forgotten our little conversation last night.

She sighed. "You're not gonna drop it, are you?"

"Nope."

"Then I guess I have no choice."

"I guess you don't." I held open the door for her, so she could walk inside ahead of me. Her hand instantly attached to mine as we walked down the hallway. A few months ago, I never thought we'd ever be doing this.

Bella suddenly stopped just as we passed the main office. The door was open, Tanya coming out with her mother.

Aw, shit…

"Bella," Tanya greeted with a genuine smile, walking out of the office and toward us—or her, rather.

"Hey, what are you-?" Bella began to question, until Mrs. Denali walked out stiffly.

"Tanya, let's go," she demanded, and caught my eye. She turned up her nose and regarded Tanya again. "Now."

"Just hang on, Mom. I'll be out to the car in five minutes," Tanya replied.

Mrs. Denali sighed. "If you're not out there in five minutes…"

"I will be. Don't worry."

With a sharp half-turn, Mrs. Denali clicked her heels right out of the school.

"I guess that's your mom," Bella commented with a chuckle.

Tanya glanced down at Bella's hand interlaced with mine. "So, you're—?"

"Yeah," Bella answered, cutting her off.

"Good."

I furrowed my brow. What the fuck were they saying? Some weird girl language.

"Why were you in the office?" Bella inquired.

"Oh," Tanya started, looking down. "I'm leaving this school."

"What?" I questioned, surprised.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Bella asked. I could clearly hear the sadness in her voice.

"Well, my parents are letting me come home under the condition that I get homeschooled for the remainder of the year and go to the college of their choice."

"That's a fucking prison," Bella snarled. "Can't they just let you go home without all that controlling bullshit?"

Tanya shrugged. "It's a good deal for me, Bella. I can't go to Yale anymore, but they want me to go to U-Dub in Seattle next year. They're going to pay for a nanny to take care of the baby and everything."

"Oh," Bella said sullenly, grasping onto my hand tighter.

"I don't know what I want to be, but at least I won't have to give up going to college. I thought that'd be something I wouldn't be able to do now."

"No, you're right. It's a good deal."

Tanya smiled at Bella sadly, and then moved closer to wrap her arms around her in a hug. She let go of my hand to hug Tanya back.

"Thank you so much for everything you've done for me," Tanya said, and pulled back to look at her. "Out of everyone, I never thought, in a million years, you'd be the person to help me when I needed someone, and for that, I'd love it if you could be Godmother."

Bella looked at me quickly, shock and glee interwoven on her face, before staring back at her in awe. "Really?"

Tanya giggled. "Of course."

"Thank you," Bella said, and hugged her again.

Tanya's blue eyes found mine just as Bella stepped back. "Edward, I know you and I haven't exactly been on the best of terms lately. But you should know that I'll always think of us as friends, because when I've needed you in the past, you've been there for me, and I know that guy is still there. I'd like it very much if you'd be the godfather."

My eyes went wide. I wasn't fucking expecting that! "Uhh…" was all I could say.

"You don't have to give me an answer now. Baby's not due until the summer," Tanya said with a smile.

I glanced at Bella, who was looking at me with such earnest hope. She clearly wanted me to say yes, but I had no clue how to be a godfather. But then again, how hard could it be? I mean, that shit was just tradition, right? It wasn't like I'd actually get the kid if something happened to her.

Also, something Tanya said struck a chord in me. I used to always be there for her, and now I wasn't. Even though we weren't together anymore, we still had three and a half years of friendship under our belts. Saying no would dismiss all the times we'd both relied on each other.

"Okay, yeah," I agreed.

Tanya grinned, but didn't respond. "I better go. Mom's bitchy because she had to come all the way down to school when she was supposed to be at her Pilate's class."

After the girl's exchanged goodbyes and Tanya left, I turned to Bella. She was smiling, but there was something solemn about her that I couldn't place.

"What's wrong?" I inquired, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "Going to miss her or something?"

"It was nice having a girl to talk to, but no."

"Then…?"

She shrugged. "She's keeping the baby and still gets to go to college and do stuff like normal people."

"She may be going to college, Bella, but it's not somewhere she would've ever picked for herself. Tanya always liked the idea of a prestigious college and having a big career afterward. She's probably not going to have any of that now."

"But she has support."

She clearly didn't see the difference between her situation and Tanya's. "Her support is in the form of money, but her parents could probably care less about her or her baby." In fact, I was pretty sure that her mom only wanted Tanya in homeschooling for selfish motives, to protect her own reputation.

The first bell rang, signaling us to head to homeroom. Bella and I gazed at each other, knowing we'd have to part for now.

"See you after lunch?" she asked.

"Why not during lunch?"

"That's when I'm going home to get my cigs."

"I'll take you," I offered immediately.

She sighed heavily. "Richie, I can take myself."

I arched an eyebrow. "You don't even have your truck."

She groaned. "Alright, fine."

I smiled triumphantly and leaned into her ear, her breathing deepening automatically. "Love you," I whispered, and walked around her to get to my homeroom.

At the end of AP Environmental Science, the lunch bell echoed loudly in the classroom. I packed up my crap and swung my bag over my shoulder. As I exited the room, Jasper, Alice, and Rose walked in front of me. They didn't acknowledge me, nor did I give them a second thought. It was common practice now that they pretended I didn't exist. It wasn't like I was begging for their attention, anyway.

I waited at the bottom of the stairs near the cafeteria for Bella, since I knew her class was on the second floor. When she walked down, a smile instantly took over my face. How could just her walking down stairs make me happy? Her eyes flitted to me almost instantly, and her smile matched mine. Apparently, me standing at the bottom of stairs made _her_ happy.

From there, we hightailed out of the school in my Mustang. She talked to me the whole way about a book she was assigned to read in her English class, which she had to write an essay for. It was easy to see she enjoyed reading. I loved that I knew this side of her that not many people, if any, would ever get to see.

We made a short pit stop at my house to get her truck, and I followed directly behind her all the way to her neighborhood.

As we pulled up to her house, I checked if her father's car was in the driveway, which it was not. Bella had assured me he wouldn't be home, but his presence last night had thrown her for a loop, so it didn't hurt to be cautious.

The inside of her house looked a lot less ominous than it had last night. I followed her up the stairs to her room, where she tore everything apart, looking for her lighter that had seemingly vanished.

"Damnit. Where the hell is it?" she grumbled, checking under her pillows.

I was looking at her bookshelf, observing her novel choices. Mostly classics—_The Catcher in the Rye_, _The Great Gatsby_, _To Kill a Mockingbird_, _The Scarlett Letter_. They were all worn, appearing to have been read more than once.

"This is a good one," I stated, plucking out _War and Peace_. "Have you seen the 1950s movie?"

"No," she answered, looking in her nightstand drawer. "I don't watch a lot of movies."

"Really?" I questioned, setting the book back in its place. "If I had to choose between reading a book or watching the film adaption of it, I'd choose the latter."

She snorted, and shut the drawer. "Of course you would, Mr. Film Director."

I cracked a smile, and regarded her books again. She still couldn't find her lighter, so she was going to check downstairs, even though I told her she could use mine. The impression I got was that it was more about finding the lighter itself than finding it just so she could smoke.

As my eyes scanned book after book, there was one that didn't have a title on the spine. I picked it out and looked at the cover, seeing that it was just a dark blue book with no title or words written on it. I flipped it open, only to have a bunch of folded up papers from inside flutter to the ground.

"Shit," I cursed to myself, and bent down to pick up the several papers. However, I stopped myself when my eyes curiously roamed over the words on a paper that had unfolded.

_Dear Thomas,_

_The pain, the anger, the mourning of my innocence, I want it all gone. It's because of you I'm like this, and I hate you for it. Every day, I think I hate you more. Want to know why? _

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I stopped reading immediately, Bella's angry voice pulling me from finishing. Flustered, I looked up into her venomous eyes.

"I don't know," I uttered. "All these papers fell out of this book…"

She stomped over to me, stepping on the scattered papers, and snatched the book out of my hand. "I never said you could fucking read my journal," she growled, and bent down, picking up the papers frantically, as if trying to hide them.

"I didn't know it was your journal," I assured. "It looked like just another book on your bookshelf."

She walked to the far side of the room, away from me. Her eyes held a storm of rage and pain. "How much did you read?" she asked, sounding like she was trying to control her tone.

"Of what?" I asked, not sure if she was talking about the papers or the journal.

She waved the papers in the air. "Of my fucking letters!" she shrieked, appearing to have snapped. "How much did you read?" Holy fucking shit. She'd completely lost it.

"Bella, what the fuck?" I questioned. "Calm the hell down."

"What did you see?" Her tone was back to normal now, thank God, but she was still acting crazed.

I'd barely even had time to register what I read, but I knew I should be honest. "It said, 'Dear Thomas—'"

"Oh my God," she choked, and covered her face with the letters and journal.

"Why are you so upset about this?"

She brought down the letters and journals, but her eyes were still closed. "Get out," she seethed.

"What?" I asked. Was she fucking serious?

Her eyes snapped open, glaring directly at me. "Get the fuck out of my house!" she shouted.

My temper flared on the spot. Why the fuck was she yelling at me like this? I hadn't seen any fucking thing, except a few damn words.

"Fine. That's what you want?" I asked angrily, and walked out of her room. I could hear the sounds of papers rustling as I flew down the stairs and stormed out of the house.

I stopped on her lawn, turning back around and looking up at her window. I couldn't see her.

What the fuck was her problem? I knew that was obviously some personal shit, but hadn't she told me everything about her past? Was there _more_? The fact that she went ballistic showed that there was something there that she didn't want me to see. I thought we were past this fucking secretive bullshit.

As I got into my Mustang in a huff and drove back to the school, only one thing was running through my mind. And it enraged me beyond belief.

Who the fucking hell was Thomas?

* * *

**A/N: **

**Don't worry. This isn't a step back for these two. It's a step forward. But Charlie is a bit loco, isn't he? **

**Until next time…Happy New Yearrrrr.**

**Teasers in the reviews. For real this time.  
**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Rec: **

**We Were Here by lolapops**

**Bella, high school cheerleader, cheats on boyfriend, Jasper, with the Edward, an outcast. As a result, Bella's set life gets thrown off its axis. It's only a few chapters in, but it hooks you in the first. If you've read Lola's other story, Summer of Salt, you know what to expect from this. It's angst. But it's good angst. Not the kind that makes you vomit. **


	30. Chapter 30

**I appreciate all your support with this storyline. Don't tell my readers from my other stories, but you guys always give me great, insightful reviews. Shhh. Thanks!**

**Beta is Lindz26. Prereader is Renas40.

* * *

**

Thomas.

_Thomas. _

By the time I got to school, I became more pissed as I began to figure out who that was. The part of the letter I read said that she was in pain and was angry. All because of _Thomas_.

I fucking hated Thomas.

The thing that stood out the most was when she wrote that she mourned her innocence. Had this Thomas fuckface been the one to violate her?

If she'd written a last name, I'd have Googled the shit out of him. He deserved to be fucking flattened by my car.

I just wished Bella wouldn't have flipped out like she had earlier. I would never judge her for writing to her rapist. Wait…why the fuck was she writing to her rapist? Was she out of her goddamn mind?

No…I wasn't going to judge her.

Fucking pissed me off, though.

I was sitting at my desk in Cooking, staring at the door. Bella hadn't shown up to class. Now thinking about it, I shouldn't have ditched her at her house, but her kicking me out was like a slap in the face. So, I left.

Mrs. Hopkins was talking to us about what we were making today, when Bella suddenly walked in. Her raging eyes went immediately to mine. I tried not to look physically affected by her entrance. It was hard, though.

"Miss Swan, do you have a tardy slip?" Mrs. Hopkins asked.

Bella ignored her and walked to her desk, directly next to mine. She didn't sit down; instead, she set her backpack on the chair, unzipped it, and pulled out some papers.

"Miss Swan, did hear me?"

"Yes, I fucking heard you," Bella snapped angrily. "I don't have a damn tardy slip."

The classroom was silent, everyone staring at Bella. She suddenly placed the papers on my desk.

"I don't tolerate foul language. Take your things and come with me," Mrs. Hopkins demanded. "You'll be paying Principal Cope a visit."

"Whatever," Bella murmured, and bent down close to my ear, her hair tickling my cheek. "I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. I want you to—"

"Now!" Mrs. Hopkins ordered, her tone louder.

Bella stood straight, glowering at her. "Fuck off, lady. I heard ya," she barked, and regarded me again. "Read them, please." She swung her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the classroom.

"Do homework or study until I come back," Mrs. Hopkins told the class, and followed after Bella.

All the girls began talking up a storm. I sat quietly and looked at what Bella had given me. They were two of the letters I'd found in her journal. After yelling at me for barely looking at them, she now wanted me to read them?

My eyes roamed over the words I remembered reading earlier, as well as new words with her usual abrasive, all-capitalized script.

_Dear Thomas,_

_The pain, the anger, the mourning of my innocence, I want it all gone. It's because of you I'm like this, and I hate you for it. Every day, I think I hate you more. Want to know why? Because I know, as much as I hate you, I love you ten times more, and it kills me knowing that. _

_Giving you up had been so easy at the time because you were evidence of what had been taken from me. How could I ever look at you, when you were part of him? Now, all I can think about is how I wish I could see you once, just to know that you're okay, smiling, laughing, being a kid. If I had been less resentful, if I had the courage, the heart, I would've kept you._

_I always think what my life would be like now if I had. Would I be at the store, buying you an endless amount of toys? Would I be dropping you off at daycare? Probably not…I'm too poor for any of that._

_Maybe it's better the way things are. I can't give you anything like a normal mother should. I wouldn't be able to spoil you with toys like you deserve. I wouldn't be able to take you places like every kid. I can barely take care of myself, so how could I take care of you?_

_When you were born, Jake said he wanted to take care of the both of us, but he's not your father, and I could've never expected him to always to be there. That would've been asking way too much of him, and he's already done a lot for you and me. For us._

_Bella_

My eyes remained on the word "us."

This was a letter to her…son? Thomas was her son…

Now, her reaction earlier to me reading this letter made sense. It was a little scary to see just how much she had bottled up inside. Perhaps that was why she constantly rebelled against everyone and everything. After all these years, she had to keep all she was feeling inside, for fear of revealing her secrets.

With as much as I'd gotten to know her, this level of raw emotion was something I still hadn't seen from her. But for some reason, she wanted me to read this. It was almost like she was opening a new part up to me. She was putting herself out there. It was such a huge risk.

I set the first letter down and picked up the second, taking note that it was another letter to Thomas.

_It's Christmas. It's times like these that I sit and wonder what I would be doing if you were around. I guess that's all I'll ever do—wonder. I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a while. So much has happened unexpectedly._

_I met a guy. He goes to my school. I'd seen him around with his perfect friends before, but never really looked at him twice. I never looked at anyone twice, and he was no exception. In fact, my friends and I used to make fun of him. I never knew why they were making fun of him, probably because he was such a goody two shoes, but I knew why I was. I was jealous. He had everything I didn't have and more. _

_While my dad is a forgotten, drunken ex-cop, his father is a well-known doctor around town, saving lives. He gets to go to Yale, even though he bitches and moans about it, while I get to go absolutely nowhere. He's so damn lucky, and he can't even see it. I would trade lives with him in a heartbeat. But I can't. And I would never subject him to my condemnation. _

_When he first talked to me, acting all superior, all I wanted to do was tell him to shove it. I wanted to break him down, change him, make him something I wouldn't be envious of. It worked too. He changed. I got what I wanted. The only problem was I fell for him in the process. _

_His innocence and intelligence reminded me of something I once was before I had you. With as much as I tried, it wasn't hard to fall in love with him. And now, I have to watch him get drunk and high, just like me. The waste of nothing I am. How could I do that to him? Will I always do wrong to the people I love? First abandoning you, then breaking Jake's heart, and now destroying the innocence and goodness of the only guy I've wanted to give my entire self to. _

_I'm a bad seed, and sometimes I wish I just never existed. It would solve a lot of problems. Jake wouldn't have put so much time into saving up money, Edward wouldn't have thrown his life down the toilet, my father wouldn't have done what he'd done, and you wouldn't have been born into a world where you have a cowardly, sorry excuse of a mother. But this is me, this is who I am. I guess I will have to live with it. _

_Merry Christmas, Thomas. You are always in my thoughts as well as my heart. _

_Bella_

I didn't know what to think with this letter. Why had she wanted me to see this? It was mostly about me. How she used to make fun of me. How she tried to change me. How she felt envious of me. She thought my life was down the toilet and that it was her fault.

Why did she have to blame herself for everything?

I was the way I was because of me—not her.

I was going to read the letter again, when Mrs. Hopkins came back into the classroom, commencing the lesson for today. Making a mental note to reread both letters later, I folded them up and stuck them in the front pocket of my bag.

After Cooking was done, I was walking down the stairs, when I saw Bella standing at the bottom, her orange bag casually slung over her shoulder, her arms crossed in front of her. Though happy to see her, I was surprised.

"I thought you were at Cope's office," I said, garnering her attention.

She snorted. "Cope was in there with someone else. Stupid Hopkins walked me down and ditched me, so I left."

I smirked, loving that she never played by the rules. "Well, now, I don't have to hit Cope over the head and steal you away."

The corner of her mouth twitched, but soon fell into a slight frown. "Did you…?" she asked warily, her voice trailing at the end.

I nodded. "Yeah, both of them," I answered, and sighed. "Bella, why did you—?"

"Where are they?" she asked, the slight panic in her voice betraying her.

"It's okay, they're in my bag."

She looked relieved. "Okay. We'll talk about it later."

At the end of the school day, I met Bella at my car and we left, on our way to my house. Her hand was on the stick shift, and mine was on hers.

"Put it into third," I requested, and she obliged. The car jerked a bit, but she seemed to be doing a good job.

Her hand slipped out from under mine and found refuge on my knee. It was very innocent, but my dick thought otherwise. I shifted in my seat, keeping my eyes on the road.

A minute later, her fingernails began lightly scraping against my kneecap, causing a slight shiver to run through me.

When her hand moved an inch down my thigh, I wondered if maybe this wasn't as innocent as I'd originally thought.

The tips of her fingers were stroking my inner thigh gently, and every single part of me was focused solely on that. I had a hard time keeping my attention on the road, wanting to take her hand and move it to the spot that was swelling for her.

Again, she moved even more down, but didn't stop this time. Her fingers were on a dangerous path. I had to stop her while I had the good sense to.

"What are you doing?" I asked in warning, my cheeks flushed and my eyes staring unblinking on the road.

She suddenly took off her seatbelt and turned in her seat to face me. In a second, her lips were pressed right at my ear as her fingers dug into my thigh. I inhaled sharply, intoxicated by her nearness.

"You think too much sometimes," she said huskily, and ran her wet tongue up the shell of my ear.

Against my own will, I closed my eyes, succumbing to the attention she was giving me. God, I wanted her to keep doing that. Something was telling me I needed to stop this before it got out of hand.

Her tongue dipped into my ear.

Fuck…well, if she wanted to…who I was to stop her? Maybe I'd pull over somewhere, throw her into the backseat, and take her hard, not even worrying about properly undressing.

_No, shithead, you can't do that to her. Not after what's she's been through. _

That knocked some sense into me, causing my eyes to fly open. I was veering into another lane, so I quickly swerved the car back, igniting a screeching sound from the tires.

Bella chuckled, unrelenting in her ministrations. "Am I distracting you?" she questioned in a hot whisper, sucking my earlobe into her mouth. Her hand finally found my dick, cupping it firmly.

"Jesus, Bella…you need to stop," I choked, grasping the steering wheel with a vice grip.

"No." She scraped her teeth along the side of my neck, followed by her tongue leaving a wet trail down to my collarbone.

I groaned, slipping under her spell. "Please," I begged pathetically. "I don't want to crash."

"Liar," she hissed, her tongue continuing its dance. "You're just trying to protect me."

There was a traffic light, thank God, so I stopped the car. With my hands now free, I set her hand in her lap. She placed it back on my dick, groping it even more tightly. I grunted, loving the feeling of her hand treating me roughly, but hating myself for it.

"Can't you just do what I want for once?" I asked gruffly.

"You're saying you don't want a blowjob?" she questioned with a smirk.

_Shit, yeah, I do._

NO. Fuck. This was wrong.

"Bella, _please_, go back to your seat," I pleaded.

Instead of listening to me, her hand came up to my hair, her fingers tugging onto the roots. She brought my mouth down to hers, and I lost it. She'd won.

The lust I felt for her spiked inside of me, causing me to open my mouth to her. Our tongues were bold with each other, sliding over familiar spots.

My hands were on her face, the sides of her neck, shoulders, arms, and finally, her breasts. I squeezed them hard, taking out my frustrations for giving in so quickly. She moaned against my lips, and it was like fucking music to my ears. I loved those sounds. I wanted to hear them over and over again. We needed to get home _now_. I wouldn't be rough with her. I would try to be gentle and slow, like she deserved.

A car horn suddenly blared, making us pull apart. I looked in my rearview mirror angrily, pissed that someone had interrupted us.

Fucking Mike Newton. What a stupid douche. Did he really want to test me right now? My boner was just as much pissed off as I was.

"Idiot," Bella muttered, glaring at him behind us.

"Fuck this guy," I spat.

"Ignore him. The light's green," Bella remarked.

I groaned and changed gear to first, setting the car in motion. However, I took great pleasure in rolling down my window and flipping that asshole off, and even more so at seeing the color drain from his face.

When I pulled into my driveway, Bella became tense. There were a few cars parked outside the front of the house. I knew exactly who they belonged to. I assured her it was fine and they wouldn't bug us, because she seemed reluctant to move.

Once I got the front door open, their voices flooded to us. Rose with her usual catty tone, Emmett's loud laugh, and Alice with her aimless banter.

I dropped my messenger bag against the wall of the entryway and attempted to take her bag to set it next to mine, but she shook her head, keeping a tight hold onto the strap of her backpack.

When we passed by them, they immediately stopped talking. I didn't bother looking at them as we approached the stairs, but I could see out of my peripheral that Bella was.

As soon as we were in my room, I took her backpack away from her and set it on the bed. My arms went around her small frame and my lips found the pulsing beat of her neck. I kissed it, licked it, wanting her to know how crazy she drove me, but I soon found out that she wasn't responding.

Pulling back, I looked down on her. "What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

She shrugged casually and stepped around me to my bed. "We should do homework."

I furrowed my brow, wondering why she wasn't into it, but decided not to question her further. "I don't have any, but you can if you want to…"

She nodded and took out a textbook and binder from her bag. She climbed on my bed and flipped through the binder.

"Can we talk about the letters?" I asked.

She looked up at me. "Oh, yeah," she answered, and closed her binder. Her full attention seemed to be back, her distant look from before vanishing.

I sat on the bed next to her. "Why did you write letters to him?" I inquired curiously.

Her fingers were playing with a loose thread on my blanket. "It was my way of dealing. I've written others, but the letters in my journal are the ones I read more than once."

"Why didn't you want me to see them at first?"

Her eyes flitted to the side before they went back to me. "It was sort of a natural reaction when I saw you looking at them. I don't want anyone knowing, aside from who I've told."

"You think people will judge you?" I asked, but already knew. They would.

She nodded silently. It always seemed like she never cared what anyone thought of her, but now I was finding out that she did. It must've all been a huge front so people wouldn't try to figure her out.

"Will you ever send them to him?" I inquired.

"No," she said pointedly, her voice reflecting her certainty. "I don't want him to know how much of a fuckup I am."

I sighed, wishing she wouldn't criticize herself. "How old would he be?"

She frowned. "Two and a half," she spoke quietly.

Wow. It was strange to think she had a two year old son out there. Did he look like her? Maybe he had her beautiful, dark eyes. "I think he's a bit too young to think that about you."

"He will one day."

"I'm sure by then, he'll just want to know you in any way he can."

She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. "I don't want him to."

I arched an eyebrow. "You don't want him to know who you are?" I asked, and she shook her head. "You don't even want to see him again?"

She rested her cheek on her knee, looking vulnerable. "No," she answered, but I wasn't convinced in the least. She was putting up another front; however, I was sure if she had the opportunity, she might consider.

"You're too hard on yourself, Bella," I said, and brushed my fingers against her soft cheek.

She dropped her feet back to the ground and began flipping through her binder again. We eventually moved, her lying on her stomach as she wrote an essay. I rested on my side next to her, propped up on my elbow while I watched her.

The room was silent, save for her pen scratching against the paper. She was entirely focused on her work, but I was focused on her delicate neck, my eyes on a small beauty mark she had there. I moved her hair around to her other shoulder to get a better look. She shuddered briefly, but otherwise, seemed unfazed.

The mark was small, just below her ear. I hadn't seen it before. Leaning in, I pressed my lips to it lightly. She chuckled. I smiled at her reaction and kissed it again.

"I can't write with you doing that," she said, her tone light.

"Then don't write." I flicked my tongue over the tiny mark.

Her pen scratching resumed, only more harshly. She abruptly shook it up and down and then dropped it to the paper. "My pen is out of ink. Do you have one?"

I didn't pull my lips away from her neck, not wanting to move a centimeter. "Desk drawer," I mumbled, and got one last peck in before she got up and opened the drawer.

"What's this?" she questioned, and pulled out a rectangular paper with random people on it doing different educational tasks.

"A brochure to Yale."

She looked closely at it, her brow wrinkled, and unfolded the pamphlet. Her eyes raked over what was inside. "Have you thought about where you're going?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

"Why not?"

"I'm fine where I am."

She huffed and tossed the pamphlet to me. "You should reconsider this."

I scoffed, flicking the brochure off the bed and onto the floor. "Are you kidding me? I'm not going there."

She bent and picked it off the floor. "I don't understand why you're not even considering going there. You don't have to be a doctor, but Yale is a good school."

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you really going to breathe down my neck about Yale? Because that's exactly what my dad does and why I rarely talk to him." I wasn't trying to threaten her, but I was so sick of the very word "Yale."

Her hands went to her hips. "Yeah, well, maybe I agree with him."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're not serious, are you?" I asked, praying that she was lying.

She sighed heavily, set the pamphlet on my desk, and moved to stand directly in front of me. Her fingers twisted into my hair, lightly caressing my scalp. "It doesn't need to be Yale, but I want you to have a future."

I set my hands on her waist. "Bella, I want to go to college. I just don't want to go _there_. I haven't thought about where I'm going yet. I need time to figure things out."

Her lips pouted. "Okay," she spoke softly. "As long as you don't waste your life."

That reminded me of what I'd read earlier. "In your second letter, you said you wanted to change me," I brought up, and watched as her eyes drooped down. "Do you honestly take credit for changing me?"

She nodded. "I made you take up smoking, when I shouldn't have. I even slipped you a joint one day and you didn't know. I enjoyed seeing you deteriorate."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "While that's amusing, you have to realize that it wasn't you who changed me. I gave into all those things because_ I_ wanted to change."

"I was the one who encouraged you, though."

"So?" I asked. "It was still my choice, in the end, to be a different person."

I didn't care if she'd hated me before and wanted to ruin my life. With as much regret that was written on her face, I knew that she changed her mind later because she fell in love with me. Nothing about how we were before mattered. What mattered was how we were now.

"Do you like me less now?" she questioned, looking so innocent.

I laughed at the silly girl in front of me. "No. I love you more," I said honestly, and moved my hands to her back, bring her into a hug.

We spent the rest of the evening in my room. She finished her homework, and I decided we were going to watch a movie—_War and Peace_. We lay on my bed, under the covers, her head on my chest. The movie was barely halfway through when I heard her breathing became louder and deeper. She'd fallen asleep. My goodness, was I the only one that thought this movie wasn't boring?

I reached for the remote control on my night stand, trying not to move my body, except my arms. After turning off the television, I attempted to gently roll her off me and onto her back. Her eyes blinked open and instantly looked into mine.

"Did I fall asleep?" she questioned.

"Yeah," I said with a frown.

She looked sheepish. "Oops. Sorry."

I glanced at the time. It was nearly nine. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

"Me, too. I'll go get us something."

I left her in bed, looking cute with her disheveled hair, while I went downstairs. The living room was empty, so it looked like everyone had gone home. When I stepped into the kitchen, Jasper was there, putting bread into the toaster. He didn't acknowledge me.

I opened the pantry door and grabbed a box of Corn Flakes along with milk from the refrigerator. As I took two bowls out of the cupboard, I noticed Jasper glance at me briefly before regarding the toaster again. With a sigh, I turned to him.

"Did you clean up the house after the party?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Yeah," he answered, his eyes focused on the toaster slots.

"You didn't have to."

He shrugged. The toast popped up, and he set it on a plate.

I opened the utensil drawer and took out two spoons. After organizing everything in my arms, I began walking to the exit of the kitchen, but stopped when he spoke.

"Your dad called that night. He wanted to talk to you and asked where you were. I said you were sleeping."

"Okay," I said, surprised he was telling me this.

We didn't say anything else, and when I went back upstairs, I realized that was probably the most we'd said to each other in a while.

Bella had her back turned, staring down at something. I noticed she'd changed out of her clothes and into one of my pajama shirts. She didn't put on any pants, leaving her in just her white cotton underwear. My eyes were wide, staring at the back of her bare thighs. God, she looked sexy.

"I see you found one of my shirts," I analyzed with a cocky smirk. Yeah, I definitely liked seeing her in my clothes. "What are you looking at?"

She turned around and held up a DVD case. I nearly dropped everything when I saw what was on the cover.

"What's this?" she asked haughtily.

Oh, crap.

"Uh," I uttered, standing stock-still. "That's just a gift Jasper and Emmett got me for my birthday."

"They got you _porn_ for your birthday?" she questioned, and sneered down at the case. Her face suddenly turned curious. "Have you watched it?"

"No," I said quickly. "I've never been interested in that stuff."

She narrowed her eyes at me briefly before setting the case back on the DVD rack. I wanted to sigh in relief, glad she wasn't going to talk about it anymore.

Bella enjoyed the cereal and even slurped down her milk. Apparently, she hadn't had cereal in ages, so it was a treat for her. I let her have the rest of mine, too.

After stripping down to my boxers, we both got under the covers. She seemed exhausted, so even though we were in a bed, with no parents in the house, I didn't try to make a move. However, we did kiss for a few minutes. When the movement of her lips became lazy, I decided it was time to sleep. With my arms wrapped protectively around her, I envisioned doing this all the time with her as my eyes shut.

X-X-X-X

"Are you really going to eat that?" Bella asked, disgusted.

"Fuck yeah!" Embry exclaimed.

We were at lunch the next day, Bella sitting sideways on my lap as we watched Embry and Quil mix several condiments together with an abundance of salt and pepper.

The guys took finding out Bella and me were together pretty well, except Leah. She'd scoffed and stomped off, which was something she seemed to always be doing, regardless. Apparently, they'd already figured something was going on between us, but just never said anything because of Black and Bella formerly being engaged.

Bella was worried because she'd called Black, but he wasn't picking up his phone. The guys told her that he just had a sprained ankle, much to my dismay, but still wasn't coming into school. She had a permanent frown on her face, because of it. Was he avoiding her, perhaps? She was better off not seeing him, if it were up to me.

"Hey, E, try some," Quil said, holding out a fry, covered in mystery sauce.

I shook my head. "No, thanks."

He tried to give it to Paul, who rolled his eyes and turned away. With a shrug, Quil popped it into his mouth.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and pecked my cheek. I looked at her, a smirk on my face.

"What was that for?" I questioned.

She smiled—the first real smile I saw from her today. "I don't know."

"You two are making me want to hurl," Embry remarked, pretending to look sick.

"Then I guess you better avert your eyes," I warned, and captured Bella's lips with mine. I could faintly hear Embry's protests. Bella responded eagerly, her tongue wetting my lower lip. She squirmed slightly, her ass causing friction through my jeans. That was when I knew I needed to pull away.

"Get a fucking room," Quil scoffed.

I brought my lips to Bella's ear. "Wanna get out of here?"

She nodded, smiling knowingly, and stood. We picked up our bags and barely said goodbye to the guys as we walked to the exit of the cafeteria, my hand on the small of her back.

We stepped into the hallway and stopped, looking at several people crowding around the school bulletin board on the wall, right next to the doors of the cafeteria.

"What are they looking at?" she questioned curiously.

I shrugged, not really caring. "I don't know. Do you want to go to the art room?"

"They're looking at me," she said quietly.

That was when I noticed that the crowd of people was, in fact, stealing glances at Bella. A few of them started to disband, walking quickly into the cafeteria while whispering to each other.

Bella was already walking to the board. The remaining people noticed she was there and hurriedly walked away. She stood in front of the board, her eyes scanning over the papers that were stuck on there. Her face suddenly paled.

I finally joined her, wanting to know what was making her look practically sick. As soon as I saw what had been pinned there, a mixture of anger and confusion whirled inside of me.

The two letters that she'd given me to read were on the bulletin board for everyone to see.

My head whipped to her. Her hands were balled into fists and she looked on the verge of either screaming or crying. She ripped the letters from its place and practically ran into the nearby girl's restroom.

How did someone get those letters? They should've still been in my bag.

I opened the front pocket of my bag and saw that the letters weren't there. Fuck! Who the hell had taken them? It wasn't like I threw my bag around carelessly. I always kept it with me at school—either on my shoulder or by my feet when I sat.

Oh…shit. She trusted me with those letters and now the entire school would find out almost everything. She probably thought_ I _did this.

"I mean, doesn't Bella know what a condom is?"

I turned my body, seeing two young boys—a wiry blond and a short redhead—walking in my direction. Pissed as fuck, I stalked over to them, grabbed the blond, and pinned him against the wall. His eyes were frightened, staring into mine.

"Who the fuck put those letters there?" I questioned in a growl.

He shook his head vehemently. "I don't know!" he exclaimed, trying to wrangle out of my hold. "They've been there since lunch started."

I narrowed my eyes, clenching my teeth together. Fisting the front of his shirt, I threw him away from the wall. Not able to keep his balance, he toppled to the floor. His friend, who had been watching us, wide-eyed, ran to him and helped him up.

Once they scurried off, I didn't waste a second, storming right into the girls' bathroom. She was hovered over the sink, tears streaming down her face, as she lit the letters on fire with her lighter. The flames grew with her sobs.

"Fuck, Bella," I said frantically, and quickly turned the faucet on to distinguish the fire.

"No! Don't touch it!" she yelled, trying to shove my hands away.

I grabbed hold of her arms and led her from the sink as the water ran. Her wet cheeks were flushed, the anguish apparent in her sparkling eyes.

"I promise you, I didn't put those up there. I swear, Bella. Please, believe me," I pleaded.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. "I believe you. You would never do that."

I sighed in relief and brought her into my chest, allowing her to cry freely. While keeping her in my arms, I walked us to the sink and turned off the faucet. Her letters were soaked, most of the ink bleeding through the paper and running down the drain. Those words had been precious to her, and now they were gone.

"Who put them there?" she questioned in a croak.

I stroked her hair, trying to sooth her. "I don't know, but I'm gonna fucking find out," I seethed. What kind of goddamn cruel person would want everyone to see something so personal? To humiliate someone who didn't deserve the scrutiny. Someone who had enough bullshit in her life.

"They know," she whispered.

I hugged her tighter. I knew that any sort of scandal usually spread like wildfire here. This would be no different. And since a lot of people took an interest in Bella, it would be ten times worse. I wouldn't dare say this to her; however, I was pretty sure she already knew.

She sniffled and pulled back. I wiped the tears from under her eyes with my thumbs. She was so heartbroken and helpless. I didn't know what to do, except just be there for her right now.

I took her hand in mine and led her into one of the bathroom stalls. After breaking off some toilet paper, I dabbed her eyes dry. She was calming down, not as in despair as she was before. She simply looked deflated.

"Nothing's going to happen, Bella," I promised. "I won't let it. I'll protect you. The guys, too." She shook her head, disagreeing. "Yes. Let us take care of you. Let _me_ take care of you." If she'd let me, I'd do whatever it took to keep her from ever being sad again.

I could hear a voice speaking outside, nearing the bathroom door. I shut the stall door and looked at Bella. She was leaning against the wall of the stall, staring down at the ground. I took her hand and brought it to my lips. Her shimmering, sad eyes looked up into mine.

"Everyone will know by the end of the day."

I furrowed my brow at the familiar, sharp voice. That was Rose.

"I don't know…"

And Alice.

Bella barely took notice, her eyes returning to the floor. I, however, wanted to listen to them. Maybe they knew something I didn't.

"Jesus, Al. Why are you acting all skittish now? You were game for this last night," Rose huffed.

"I didn't think you were serious about it!" Alice exclaimed.

"Calm down, will you? You think she cares? She's probably off having sex with him or whatever it is they do," she said snippily. "Those two are made for each other."

Bella's hand went stiff in mine and her eyes grew wide. I mouthed "what?" to her, but she turned her attention to the door of the stall.

"I just…" Alice said in hesitation.

"You just what?" Rose snapped.

"It was bad enough we took those letters out of Edward's bag and read them, but you shouldn't have put them up on the board."

The blood coursed through me, and I only saw red, my temper going from zero to one-hundred. Before I could think twice about it, I unlocked the door and wrenched it open with a force, revealing them to me. They were standing by the sinks and snapped their heads in my direction, looking shocked.

"What?" I barked, my voice ricocheting off the walls.

Alice's jaw dropped, her eyes bouncing back and forth between me and Bella, who was standing behind me. "I…" she started, her face drained of any color. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to go that far. Bella, I'm so sorry." With that, she quickly exited out of the bathroom.

Rose made a scoffing sound, causing me to glower at her. I swear to fucking God, if she was a man, she'd be on the floor right this fucking second with my shoe jammed in her face. She was damn lucky.

"It's not enough just being a bitch, huh, Rose?" I asked, seething.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please," she said, appearing bored. "Tell me, Edward, has your IQ dropped now that you're screwing her?"

I looked behind me at Bella, who was staring at Rose with a blank expression. I doubted she was going to say anything. She didn't need to; I'd do it for her.

"This is all because you're jealous of her."

She laughed cynically. "_Jealous_? Of_ her_? She dresses like shit. She looks like shit. She hangs out with the riffraff, and you think I'm jealous of her?" she questioned, and crossed her arms in front of her. "The only reason I put up those letters was to show everyone what kind of a person she really is." She glared at Bella. "She clearly can't keep her legs closed and got knocked up. Since she can't afford an abortion, she had the baby and threw it away like yesterday's trash."

My fists clenched. I was about to do something I knew was wrong, but definitely wouldn't regret. "You need to leave," I said through gritted teeth.

"What, Bella? You have nothing to say?" Rose egged. When Bella didn't answer, Rose pouted. "Boo-hoo. I finally shut up the infamous Bella Swan."

As I watched Rose walk out cockily, my heart pounded in fury. The sweet girl standing quietly behind me didn't deserve this shit. No one knew what she went through. They thought they could just see a couple letters and understand what happened? They couldn't.

I wanted to rip everyone's heads off.

I wanted justice for her.

Rose had just ignited something she was going to fucking regret. There was only one thing that I wanted more than anything right now.

Revenge.

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**A/N:**

**So, we found out those letters were to her son and that she has a lot of pent up emotions towards it. How will Edward get revenge on Rose? Do you think Bella will want in?**

**Teasers in the reviews. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: **

**I apologize for the long delay. I became single-minded with my other WIP as it wrapped up.**

**Some of you are pretty sure Bella wouldn't want to be involved in any sort of revenge, and others thinks she would. All I can say is that I'm fairly adamant in keeping my characters' personalities in tact as much as possible. Edward, for example, even though he has changed significantly, sometimes you can still see remnants of his old self. Bella is not a coward, and she doesn't back down easily. It takes a lot for her to be shaken up, as you witnessed in the last couple chapters.  
**

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40.

* * *

**

Bella was practically a zombie for the rest of the day. We skipped school, went to the shack, and spent the afternoon smoking pot. We didn't speak a word to each other. I was there for her, though. If she wanted to talk, I'd listen to her. But she didn't.

When Quil, Embry, and Paul found out what happened, they immediately wanted to get back at Rose. Even though I was angry at Alice, too, I knew from what I'd overheard that she hadn't had a hand in putting up the letters, so I let her off the hook on this one. It was all Rose.

The four of us eagerly hatched a plan, deciding to meet at the school's parking lot later on that night. We didn't include Bella in the plan, deciding she needed to stay out of it. I wasn't even sure whether she'd want to be a part of it. Either way, I refused to put her at risk for what we were going to do.

When I asked her if I could drop her home, she knew something was up. How? I didn't know. Maybe I wasn't very good at trying to sound casual.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously as we made our way through the forest, on our way to the lot.

"What do you mean 'why'? That's where you live," I answered.

"You're up to something. I saw you guys whispering. I'm not stupid."

"Bella," I sighed, wanting her to just drop it.

"If it's something to do with me, I want to know," she said. "And don't tell me it's not, because I know it is."

"Fine, okay?" I relented. "Yes, it is something to do with you, but not something you're gonna be a part of."

She stopped walking. "Why the fuck not?" she questioned, her tone rising.

I slowed down my steps and turned to her. "Because it's too risky, and you could get in a lot of trouble."

She snorted. "I'm always in trouble, Richie. Tell me what you're doing."

I sighed. "We're just getting back at Rose, that's all."

Her brow furrowed for a moment, before she picked up walking again. "I want in," she said, her voice monotone.

I moved along with her. "No," I said pointedly. I should've known she'd want to go with the plan. She did, after all, enjoy tampering with people's brakes when they pissed her off.

"You won't be able to stop me. I'll just ask Embry or Quil to let me in on it."

I groaned, aggravated. "They don't want you involved, either."

"They do what _I_ want," she spoke confidently.

I grabbed her arm gently, halting her steps. "Bella, please. Just let me take you to my house. You can stay in my room, and I'll be back later tonight."

Her nostrils flared as she glowered at me. "I'm not fucking staying cooped up in your stupid room. I'm going with you whether you want me to or not. This isn't _your _revenge, this is _my_ revenge, and I want in."

"We're doing this for you."

"Don't," she snapped, and resumed walking ahead of me. "I'm coming."

I gave in, knowing I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to. So, I took her out to eat at a diner close by, until it was time to come back. She was distant the entire time, lost in her head. I just watched her—watched for any sort of indication that she wasn't okay, but in all honesty, she seemed fine, which I didn't understand. She was a little spacey, but there was no malice or sadness there that I could see. That, in itself, worried me.

When night had fallen, and we pulled into the parking lot, Embry was already there with Quil and Paul, leaning against a minivan. Bella and I got out of the car and made our way over to them.

"Aw, shit. You told her?" Paul questioned, annoyed.

"Whipped!" Embry said, chuckling.

"Shut up," Bella spat. "You guys are always trying to keep shit from me, and I'm done. Let's just go."

They all groaned and got into the minivan. Bella sat up front with Embry as he drove, while the rest of us got into the back.

"Hey, fucker. Don't put your shitty shoes on my chair," Embry complained to Paul. "My grandma will kill me if I dirty her van."

Paul scoffed, ignoring him as he kept his shoes propped up by Embry's head. "She actually knows what you're using the van for?"

"No, she thinks I'm going to get her ointment from the pharmacy, so put your shoes down."

Paul laughed, muttering "loser" under his breath, but obeyed and brought down his legs.

"Make a quick stop at my house," Bella demanded.

"Why?" Embry questioned, starting the engine.

"Just do it, dipshit," Bella snapped.

"Geez fucking Louise, alright," Embry said, exasperated.

I reached around the front seat to Bella, taking hold of her hand, because she seemed a little on edge. She linked her fingers between mine, but didn't look back at me.

When we arrived at Bella's house, she quickly exited the car and dashed inside while we waited. I took of advantage of the moment to question them about something that had been worrying me.

"What's the deal with her dad?" I asked curiously.

Quil scoffed. "When's there never a deal with Charlie?"

"All he ever does is get drunk," Embry said.

"She kinda seems afraid of him," I remarked. It'd get to me whenever I'd see a vulnerability surface at the mention of her father.

"She won't admit it, but she is," Paul spoke. "She pretends as if he doesn't faze her."

"Yeah, and half the time, we've gotta come get her, 'cause of his drunken ass doing stupid shit," Quil chimed in.

I furrowed my brow. "Like what?"

"Well, one time, he came home drunk, and she got in his way, so he locked her in the downstairs closet," Embry revealed.

"What?" I questioned, shocked and angered. "He just locked her in there and then what?"

"He barricaded the door with the sofa and just left," Paul answered. "We noticed she hadn't shown up to school the next day, so we stopped by and found her there."

"Was she okay?" I queried tensely.

"Yeah, she was fine, so she said. That shit kinda scars you, though. And she got him good for that. Went down to the bar in Port Angeles he goes to and punched him in the gut," Paul said, and chuckled.

"I heard about that," I realized. "I thought it was just a rumor."

"Nah. He didn't even remember doing that to her, though. What an ass."

This conversation only made it clearer that this dickhead was unstable. If he fucking locked her in a closet, then God only knew what other sick things he'd done to her. My mind was running away with me with what he could've possible inflicted on her. It solidified that I did _not_ want her near that fucker ever again.

The rear door of the van suddenly clicked open, followed by items being shifted around.

"What did you get?" Embry asked her.

Without answering, Bella closed the rear door and got back into the passenger's seat. She seemed flustered, making me want to pull her out of the car and ask her in private if she was okay.

"Can we go now?" Quil whined. "It's almost midnight, and I'm tired as fuck."

We drove across town, where the houses became bigger and the cars looked more expensive. Rose's family had a lot of money. Probably more so than most of the kids in school put together. And she was a spoiled bitch, too. Whatever she wanted, she got.

Including her precious BMW.

She loved that car more than Emmett. I was sure of it. I'd known her for years, after all. If there was one thing that would destroy her, it would be vandalizing her car.

Embry parked the van a block away. We got out and gathered some of the items Paul had brought along for this—spray cans, tools, and various items from Sam's garage he worked at.

Quil and Embry took the spray cans, while Paul and I decided we'd let the air out of her tires. Bella looked a little lost and unsure of herself. I kissed her forehead, showing her that we were doing this for her. She remained by my side as we walked down the street toward Rose's house.

The bright red BMW was parked in the driveway of a three-story mansion. The neighborhood was supposed to be "safe," so no one bothered putting their overpriced cars in garages, apparently.

Big fucking mistake.

The house was pitch black, signaling everyone was asleep inside. In fact, the entire neighborhood's houselights were off. We knew we'd have to keep it down in order to not get caught.

For the next ten minutes, Quil and Embry spray painted the foulest words on her car, one being, _Cum guzzler on board_. Their favorite was their masterful drawing of a hairy dick entering a large ass, which was supposed to be Rose's.

Paul and I worked on all four tires, letting the air out. I only wish I'd be there to see her start her car the next morning, only to find all this shit done to it. Fucking bitch.

"Jake's missing out, man. He'd love this," Quil noted.

Bella sighed as she stood out of the way, watching us. "How's he doing?"

"Still being a little bitch and complaining about his leg," Quil said, chuckling and causing me to do the same. Black had a fucking sprained ankle. Who the hell cared?

"Give me the keys to the van," Bella ordered Embry.

"Why?" he asked, pausing his spray painting.

"Stop fucking asking me questions and just do it," she growled.

"Goddamn, woman," he whined, and took his keys out of his pocket. "You better not drive off in it." He threw them to her, and she caught them easily.

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

She turned on her heel in a huff. "I'll be back. Stay here," she said, and took off down the street. Something wasn't right with her. She didn't seem okay for some reason. I wished I knew what she was thinking.

A little over five minutes later, I saw Bella making her way back to us. She had something in her hand—long and silver. What the hell was she doing with a baseball bat?

There was a fire of determination waging in her eyes as she stepped up to the side of the BMW. The guys were staring at her, awestruck, unsure of what she was doing. In two swift movements, she wound the bat back over her shoulder, then swung it forward, crashing it straight into the driver's window.

The car's alarm instantly went off, screeching into the night.

"Jesus fuck, Bella!" Quil exclaimed, taken by surprise.

My eyes were wide, watching her as she did it again, destroying the window next to the smashed one. It was as if she was possessed, anger and rage spurring her on. I'd never seen her so out of control, yet so _in_ control.

The lights suddenly flicked on in the house and nearby dogs were barking loudly. So much for fucking being stealthy.

Bella got a hit into one of the back taillights. I decided enough was enough. The guys were already hauling ass, warning us we needed to go, but Bella wasn't listening. When she wound back the bat for a fourth strike, I grabbed it, keeping her from continuing. I wrapped an arm around her front, trying to steady her.

"Let go of me," she demanded, struggling to break free from my hold.

"Baby, stop," I spoke urgently. "You've done enough damage. Her parents are going to come out here and see us, so we need to go."

Her body relaxed, relenting to my words, and she allowed me to drag her away from the scene before the front door of Rose's house opened. As we ran toward the van, which was already on with the engine running, we could hear Rose's shrill scream echoing down the street.

"Shit, Bella. What the fuck got into you?" Embry asked as we practically threw ourselves in.

"Just drive!" Paul shouted.

Embry made a quick U-turn, going in the opposite direction. I reached around the front seat and grabbed her hand, not just to comfort her, but to comfort myself.

X-X-X-X

On Saturday morning, I woke up with Bella next to me, sound asleep. She'd stayed over after we finished our revenge last night. I was thankful she'd come without a fight.

She was fucking scaring me to death with her calm exterior, yet she was clearly holding her emotions back. I wanted her to open up to me, to tell me what was going on in her head, but maybe I'd never find out. Maybe that was just her way of dealing—to bottle emotions up until they came to a head.

I turned on my side, molding my front to her warm back and wrapped an arm around her to bring her closer to me. She stirred slightly, leaning back into me. Knowing that she was waking up, I propped myself up on my elbow and kissed her ear lightly.

"Mmm," she groaned grumpily.

I chuckled and did it again. I smoothed my hand over her stomach, wishing my undershirt she was wearing wasn't in the way.

"I'm sleeping, Richie," she said, but moved her hand to rest over mine.

"Well, wake up," I whispered, and pressed my lips to her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed. "Fine."

"Last night was kind of intense, huh?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. Her eyes opened, and she stared at nothing vacantly.

"Tell me what's going on with you."

She was quiet for a moment, before she shifted slightly. "I just don't want her getting away with that," she spoke quietly.

"She didn't, and she won't," I assured.

"She did, though. She got what she wanted, which was to make me look like a bitch, who can't keep her legs shut. And now the entire school knows what I did because of her."

I nuzzled my nose into her neck, breathing in her sweet aroma. "You're strong, Bella. Everyone will get over this, I promise."

"No, they won't."

"I'm here," I reassured. "I'm not going to let any of them hurt you."

"I don't need a savior."

"Everyone needs a savior," I said. "You're mine, you know that?"

She turned her head a fraction, casting me a sideways glance. "I'm your savior?"

I smiled warmly. "Yep. Like I said, everyone needs one. Let me be yours."

Without a word, she flipped over and dug her face into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, securing her in my heat. She was going to let me save her, just like she was saving me.

We stayed like that for a few more minutes, until I finally pulled away slightly.

"Are you hungry?" I questioned.

She shook her head in response.

"Mind if I grab something from downstairs?" I asked.

"Okay."

"I'll be quick," I assured, and got up, leaving her in bed.

Downstairs, I looked for something I could take up with me. There was hardly anything in the fridge, so I just grabbed some bread and popped two slices into the toaster. As I waited for them to be ready, I heard bare footsteps behind me. Before I could turn, two arms wound around my stomach.

"Hey, why are you here?" I asked, worried, and turned around, wrapping my arms tightly around her. I noticed she was wearing a pair of my boxers, as opposed to just her panties. I wasn't sure which I preferred, but seeing her in my clothes definitely did things to me.

"I changed my mind," she admitted.

"Well, I'm making toast. Is that okay?"

Before she could answer, Jasper suddenly stepped into the kitchen. He stopped as soon as he saw us, and Bella went stiff in my arms.

"Uh, hey…" he said cautiously, and cleared his throat.

I didn't say a word, staring him down. I wondered if he knew about the letters and what Rose had been up to. If he was even a part of it in the slightest, his head was gonna be on a fucking platter.

"Bella," he spoke softly, causing me to glare at him. How dare he talk to her?

She looked at him silently, her fingers digging into my back.

"Alice told me what happened," he continued, clearly not seeing how uncomfortable Bella was with him here. "I just want you to know, I had no clue Rose was going to post those letters. I didn't even know about them until they were up on the board. I can't speak for Rose, but I know that Alice feels really sorry for reading them, and she wishes she could take it back."

Bella didn't respond, and I didn't expect her to. She was doing this a lot more lately, staying silent, while a thousand thoughts went through her head. It was a drastic change from the girl I knew before, who always spoke her mind, and I wondered if the fire in her had been put out by these events.

"I'm really sorry this happened to you. No one deserves that kind of humiliation," he said.

I brought Bella more into me and nodded at him in approval. He took the hint and walked out of the kitchen.

Even though I knew Jasper wasn't Bella's biggest fan, it took a lot for him to probably say that, when he didn't have to. He wasn't condoning what happened, even though Rose was a friend of his. He defended Alice, yeah, but I didn't really think Alice had much to do with posting those letters.

"Can you take me home?" Bella's quiet voice asked.

"Yeah," I agreed, and kissed the top of her head.

After grabbing the toast, we both went upstairs to change into our clothes. On the way over to her place, I scarfed down my toast while she merely picked at it. She wasn't speaking to me, but I wasn't offended. I was just glad she was allowing me to at least be with her during this time.

When I turned down her street, my eyes immediately saw her dad's car, parked in the driveway of her house.

_Oh, fuck no. _

I slowed the car almost to a crawl, deliberating what to do. I'd thought more about who Bella's attacker had been, and all the signs were pointing to one person—her dad. She didn't want me or anyone to know who it was, she was practically frightened of the guy, even though she stood up to him a lot, and he was a fucking drunk. People did crazy shit when they were intoxicated. Maybe that was why her mother actually left, because he took advantage of her, and she was ashamed.

My mind was set, and I knew exactly what to do now. I drove into her driveway and parked. Bella tried to tell me I could just go home, but like hell I was going to do that. She was obviously tired of fighting me, so we walked side by side as we made our way into the house.

After I shut the door behind us, heavy footsteps grew closer. He walked into the entryway, narrowing his eyes at me. It was clear I wasn't welcome in his home.

"Bella, where—" he began to say, before I promptly cut him off.

"Don't you dare even talk to her," I growled. "Don't even look at her."

"Edward," Bella breathed in shock at my side.

"Who the hell are you, keeping my daughter out all night?" Charlie questioned angrily.

"Oh, now you want to play father, after what you did to her?" I accused.

"Excuse me?" he inquired venomously.

I flared my nostrils and gently pushed Bella toward the stairs. "Pack your shit, Bella," I demanded. A plan formulated in my head—I'd take out the money from my trust fund, and we'd go somewhere. I didn't know where, but we'd figure it out.

"What?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Go upstairs, pack your shit, and come back down here. We're leaving," I said angrily. Now wasn't a time to fucking question things!

"I'm not packing anything or going anywhere!" she exclaimed.

My eyes shot to her, giving her a baffled look. "You're gonna stay here after what he did to you? Over my fucking dead body, Bella. Go pack, or I'll do it for you."

"What the hell are you going on about?" he asked loudly. "Bella, you stay in your damn place."

My fists clenched at my sides. "You think I'm going to let her stay with the asshole who raped her?"

Bella's gasp caused me to look at her. She looked horrified and tears were welling up in her eyes.

"You told this rich son of a bitch about that?" he questioned her furiously.

"I told you not to talk to her, you fucker!" I yelled, taking a step closer to him menacingly. "I'm going to have you fucking arrested for taking advantage of her."

"Edward!" she cried, and sobbed, causing Charlie and I to turn to her. "My dad didn't do that to me!" Tears spilled down her face, and she suddenly ran up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door loudly.

I was stock-still, taking in what she just said. Was she serious that it hadn't been him? I didn't think she'd lie to me.

"Get the hell out of my house, kid," Charlie said calmly, but in warning, "or _I'll _have you arrested."

Ignoring him, I began taking the stairs two at a time, needing to go to her.

"Did you hear me?" he shouted from below, but didn't dare walk up the stairs after me.

When I pushed open her door, she was laying on her bed, her back facing me. Her small frame was shaking from crying, and her sniffles caused an ache in my chest. I closed the door behind me and walked around the bed to her. Her eyes were moist and the pillow beneath her head was tear-stained. I knelt by her side and moved a lock of hair out of her face.

"I don't know who attacked me, okay?" she uttered, her voice cracking.

"What do you mean?" I questioned softly, the back of my fingers caressing her wet cheek.

"I didn't see him. I didn't see anyone," she admitted. "I passed out before I saw, and whoever it was must've really enjoyed it, because nine months later, I was popping out his kid." She squeezed her eyes shut, appearing tortured. "When I woke up, I was alone, and all I remember thinking was I wanted my dad. He spent ages after that trying to find out who hurt me." She cried a little harder. "He went crazy trying to find him, neglecting his job and my mother and me. People began to talk, and my mom couldn't take it, so she left. When he realized he'd lost everything, he went into a depression, and he hasn't been the same since."

My fingers were frozen over her cheek. "Was the guy ever caught?" I questioned.

She shook her head. "He got away." More tears slipped from her eyes.

I remained on my knees by her bed, listening to her soft cries and wanting so desperately for her to have a different life other than this one, even if that meant me not being in it.

* * *

**A/N: **

**I know this chapter was shorter than usual. I had it longer before, but I felt the revenge and the ending of this chapter needed to be on its own. Anything else would've been information overload. Trust me on that, because we still have a lot of stuff to cover in a short amount of time. There are only a few chapters left.**

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**

**Rec: **

**Branching Inward by LifeInTheSnow**

**An interesting premise with an Edward who has lost his taste for life. He's really very sweet, but there's a lot of pain there. Bella is patient with him as he sorts through his issues. I think it's an intriguing read and written differently to other stories. Give it a go.  
**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: **

**B****eta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is Renas40/FFpassion.**

* * *

"You sure you're okay with going today?" I asked Bella.

My car was parked in the school lot, ten minutes before the bell was bound to ring. I thought Bella might want to stay home from school after what'd happened the last couple days, but she was hell bent on going.

She sighed. "I'm sure," she answered, and got out of the car.

I followed suit and went around to her side, throwing my arm over her shoulder as we walked toward the building.

"Ed," I heard called behind, causing me to glance over my shoulder. Emmett was trying to catch up to us.

I flared my nostrils and moved a little faster. "Keep walking, Bella," I said.

A hand grabbed at my arm, stopping me. "Hey, wait. Can you hold up?" Emmett asked.

"What?" I snapped angrily. How dare he talk to me after everything that had happened?

His expression was solemn. "I just wanna say…" he paused with a sigh "…I broke up with Rose over the weekend."

I furrowed my brow. "And why exactly would that matter to me?" I questioned. They'd probably get back together in a few days, anyway.

"I don't like what she did," he admitted, glancing at Bella. "I always knew she had a thing against Bella, but I never thought she'd stoop this low. Anyway, she's not coming back here."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"She got expelled," he revealed, surprising me. "Alice told Principal Cope about the letters. She got suspended herself."

I looked at Bella, who wore a stony expression. "You ready to go?" I asked her, to which she nodded. I regarded Emmett again. "Alright, see ya."

"Wait, that's it?" he questioned.

"Yeah, that's it," I shot back. "A shit load of other things have happened besides Rose being a bitch. Just because you broke up with her, doesn't mean I'm gonna sit around a campfire and sing _Kumbaya_ with you." With that, I tugged Bella into the school.

"You should cut him some slack," Bella suggested as we walked down the hall.

I gave her a dry look. He thought I was just going to forget the past few months? Well, I wasn't. "Anyway," I started, changing the subject, "are you doing okay?"

"I guess," she spoke quietly. "I mean, she's gone, but it doesn't change anything."

I entwined my fingers with hers and brought her hand up to my mouth, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "But she got what she deserves. That's what counts, right?"

She shook her head. "No," she replied, looking down at the ground. "What counts is that everyone in this school knows now."

I stopped walking and took hold of her face gently. "Bella, I've told you before, and I'll say it again. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Their heads will be jammed into a locker before they even get a chance to speak of it."

She chuckled weakly and wrapped her arms around my waist. I kissed her forehead in adoration.

"Bella?" a voice called behind us. Principal Cope's modest heels clicked against the floor as she neared us.

"Yes, Mrs. Cope?" Bella questioned.

"I'd like to see you in my office," Cope said, a softness to her tone. "Will you please come with me?"

Bella looked up at me, concern in her eyes.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked.

"Edward, this doesn't concern you, so you can go on to class," Cope said.

"It's okay. I'll be fine," Bella assured, and unraveled her hand from mine.

I watched as they walked away, Bella glancing over her shoulder at me. I had a bad feeling she wouldn't come out of Cope's office in a happy mood.

By lunch, I was anxious to see Bella to know what happened, but she hadn't come into the cafeteria yet, making me worry. The guys were amused that Rose got expelled, considering she had high grades and was involved in almost every school activity.

Black was back at school, unfortunately, using crutches. He sat at the table, glaring at me the entire time. Probably because he knew I could fully kick his ass if I wanted to. I wouldn't have minded a repeat, quite honestly.

"Hey, where's Bella?" Embry asked.

"Yeah, where is she, Cullen?" Black seethed.

I scowled at him. "What, you think I locked her away somewhere?" I questioned. "Last I saw her, she was with Cope.

Black stood, gathering his crutches, and wobbled away.

"Where the hell are you going?" Paul asked to Black's retreating back.

"Where do you think? To find her," he shouted over his shoulder.

I grabbed my backpack off the floor and followed after him. Like hell he was going to look for Bella. That was my job.

"Go back to the table, Cullen," Black ordered.

"She's _my _girlfriend, just in case you forgot," I said as we exited the cafeteria.

He stopped and glared at me. "Look, you dick. I don't like you." He suddenly sighed and looked down to the ground. "But I gotta admit, what you helped Bella do over the weekend was something I would've done for her. So, when it comes to her, fine—protect her, fight for her—but other than that, you stay the fuck outta my way." He picked up walking with his crutches. "She seems to trust you or some shit, which I don't get."

"So, what are you saying? For her sake, we can call a truce?" I asked.

"I'm saying you can help me look for her now, but don't start asking me to fuckin' share my feelings."

I chuckled. "Like I give a damn about your feelings."

"Well, good, then," he said. "I don't know where the hell she is, do you?"

"I think I might know," I admitted.

I led Black to the girl's bathroom. He was wary to go in, where as I burst through the door, not caring who was in there.

Bella stood at the sinks, tears streaking down her face. When she saw me, she turned away.

"Hey," I said softly, and went for her, wrapping my arms around her body. "What happened?"

"Bella, you alright?" Black asked as he hobbled into the bathroom.

"Jake?" she croaked, noticing him. "What are you doing here?"

He rolled his eyes. "Going to take a piss," he joked. "What do you think?"

"I'm fine," she assured, wiping at her eyes.

"No, you're not," I said, absorbing the moisture on her cheeks with my sleeve. "Did Cope say something to you?"

She shook her head. "She just wanted to talk about the letters. And I pretty much told her everything," she admitted, and sniffled.

"Why would you do that?" I questioned.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she whispered. "She asked me if I'd ever want to see him when he's older."

"And what'd you say?"

More tears fell from her eyes. "I said yes, and I hate myself for it." She dug her face into my chest, sobbing.

I looked back at Black, who seemed shocked, and then I kissed the top of Bella's head. "Why would you hate yourself for that?" I inquired.

She laughed bitterly. "Yeah, like he'd really like to know what a fucked up mother he has," she spat.

"You're not fucked up," I assured. "I think it's good you want to see him at some point."

She pulled away and turned to the mirror, gazing at her gaunt reflection. "Well, it doesn't matter, anyway. I don't even know where he is."

The door clicked shut, and Bella and I realized Black had left.

"He's pissed at me again. Great," she muttered, and grabbed some paper towels to pat her eyes dry.

"Stay here. I'll be back in a second," I said, and left the bathroom.

Black was right by the door, waiting. He looked determined. "I know where he might be," Black spoke to me in a low voice.

"You do?" I questioned.

"Well, I don't know exactly, but I dropped him off at a church a state over. Chances are he's with some family around there."

Black and I both looked at each other, the same thing on our mind. I knew exactly what needed to be done.

X-X-X-X

When I got home from school, Dad's car was in the driveway, which meant he and mom were finally back. I sighed as I went into the house.

"Edward, is that you?" Mom called out from the kitchen.

"Yep," I answered.

She came out with an almost sad smile on her face. "Hi, sweetie," she said, and gave me a hug. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm just gonna head on up to my room."

She looked over my shoulder, and her face immediately fell. "Just let him eat first, Carlisle," she pleaded.

My dad stood in the doorway of his den with his arms folded. He seemed different, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Had he been gone that long? "I think now is as good a time as any," he said, and looked at me. "Come into my office, Edward." He turned and disappeared inside.

"What's going on?" I questioned my mom.

She sighed. "Everything will be okay," she assured, and patted me on the back. "Go on, and I'll have dinner ready for the both of you after."

I went inside Dad's office hesitantly, where he sat at his desk, scribbling a pen over a paper.

"Close the door behind you, will you?" he requested.

I did as he asked and sat down across from him, suddenly having a bad feeling. "What is it?" I questioned.

He sighed and set down his pen, finally looking up at me. "You're aware of all the trips your mother and I have been making to Seattle, correct?" he asked, taking off his reading glasses.

I merely nodded.

"I was in surgery," he admitted.

A crease formed on my brow. "Surgery…? What for?"

He leaned back in his chair, observing me. "I've been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer."

I blinked at him several times before I could wrap my mind around what he said. Cancer? No…that wasn't possible.

"The surgery didn't exactly go how we'd hoped," he continued, his words sounding dull and lifeless. "And now, we have to move forward."

"Cancer?" I questioned, still not able to believe it. My dad couldn't have cancer. He was a healthy, middle-aged man.

"Yes, son. Cancer," he replied.

"How long have you known about this?" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me before—?"

He held up his hand, cutting me off. "I didn't feel you were in the right place to hear it."

"Right place?" I asked incredulously, my tone rising. "When is the right place, Dad?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Edward, calm down."

I stood up, enraged. "You come home after days of not being here, saying you've been in surgery and have cancer, and then you tell me to _calm down_? Don't tell me to calm the fuck down!"

"That's enough!" he shouted in a commanding tone, his temper finally spiking. "Sit down, Edward!"

I was furious. I felt like my blood was going to boil over. "I can't believe you didn't tell me," I spat, and walked out of the den.

Mom was standing by the door, and she grabbed my arm. "Edward, please. Don't be angry," she begged.

"You knew about this, too, and you didn't tell me. I expect this bullshit from Dad, but not you," I accused. "I bet Jasper was in on it, as well, huh?"

"No," she gasped. "He doesn't know a thing."

"Lucky me," I muttered, and climbed the stairs to my room.

"What about dinner?" she asked.

I stopped on the top stair and turned to her. "Mom, shove dinner up your ass," I growled, and vanished into my room, slamming the door loudly.

X-X-X-X

The next several days passed with my mind on auto-pilot. I barely stayed in the house for more than a minute. As soon as I'd wake up, I was dressed and out the door, and when school was done, I stayed out late with Bella.

I didn't tell her about my father's illness. Not that I was trying to keep secrets from her, but I just didn't want to even think about it right now. Plus, she had her own problems, and burdening her with mine would've been selfish.

As it was, today was Bella's eighteenth birthday. I decided this day would only be about making her happy. We were currently sitting in the clearing, the sun shining down on us. She'd opened my gift, which was a lighter with a Yin-Yang design on it—an ode to our shared tattoos. She loved it, thanking me with a kiss.

Next, she handed _me _a gift, wrapped in newspaper comics.

"You got me a gift on your birthday?" I asked her with a chuckle.

She smiled shyly. "Yes," she replied. "Now, open it."

I tore open the wrapping, surprised at what revealed to me. It was a camcorder.

"I didn't know if you had one already, but I figured you'd need one to film stuff so you can be a hotshot director one day," she said.

I looked up at her in awe. "You bought this for me?"

"Well, it's secondhand," she admitted with a frown.

I set the camcorder down and pulled her into kiss. She responded instantly, pushing her fingers into my hair. I pecked her rosy lips once more and sat back to look at her. "This is one of the best gifts I've ever gotten," I said. "Thank you."

She smiled. "You're welcome," she responded. "I love you."

I brushed the back of my fingers over her soft cheek. "I love you, too."

"You said you had another gift for me?" she questioned eagerly.

I chuckled. "Yes, but it's not here."

She glanced around, as if she could see it. "So, where is it?"

I stood from the ground and helped her up. "Not here," I answered.

We walked back through the forest and to where my car was parked. She questioned me the entire drive, not letting up. I kept my responses vague and mysterious, which frustrated her.

"Why are we stopping at Jake's house?" she asked, suspicion laced in her tone.

Black came hobbling out of his run down, one-story house. I had to step out so he could get in the back. He threw his crutches in the backseat and settled inside next to them.

"Jake, what's going on?" Bella asked with a whine in her voice.

"Hello to you, too, Bella," he said, laughing. "And Happy Birthday."

She groaned. "Thank you, but where are we going?"

"Can't you just sit in your seat and wait until we get there?" I asked.

She crossed her arms with a huff. "Maybe," she muttered.

We took off, leaving our small town and heading east. For twenty minutes, we were relatively silent, lost in our own heads and listening to alternative rock on the radio. However, when I glanced down at my dashboard, I let out a frustrated groan.

"What is it?" Bella questioned.

"Out of gas," I replied, berating myself inwardly.

Black scoffed in amusement, and I flashed him a glare through my rearview mirror.

Unfortunately, we had to pull into a gas station off the freeway, which would shave valuable minutes off our commute. After filling up, I went into the store to pay. While I was here, I figured I'd take a leak quickly, so I was directed around the side of the building.

The bathroom was disgusting, which I expected, but shit, I had to go. I washed my hands when I was done and was about to go back out, when the door opened. Bella came waltzing in.

I looked around, as if someone else would witness her in here. "What are doing?" I asked, confused.

She smiled as she approached me. "Was just wondering what took you so long," she responded, and placed her palms on my stomach.

I observed her with an arched eyebrow. "Well, I'm done in here now, so we should head back out." Before I could even move to the door, her fingers griped tightly onto my shirt, keeping me in place.

"I'm not done," she spoke quietly, and attached her soft lips to my neck.

I closed my eyes, breathing out heavily through my nose. "Bella, we don't have time," I whined reluctantly, wishing we could forget today's plan.

Her slippery tongue came out, licking circular patterns on my skin. She offered no response except that.

"Did you hear me?" I asked in a weak attempt at scolding. God, her tongue…

"Loud and clear," she whispered, and raked her fingers down my stomach to the waistband of my jeans.

My hips automatically jolted away from her touch, gaining some sense. "No. We need to go," I reprimanded.

"Alright," she agreed easily, "but first…" Her hand cupped my growing erection, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from me. She massaged me ever so gently, teasing the hell out of me.

Oh, fuck it. I was giving in. Who gave a damn about a time schedule? Her fondling me through my jeans felt so much better than keeping a fucking time schedule.

"Feels good?" she asked softly, her voice shooting right to my dick.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning too loudly. "Harder," I demanded, my breathing coming out sporadically.

Her mouth was on my neck again, and the grip her hand had on me tightened a bit, eliciting a loud, groaning moan from me.

"Richie?" she questioned lightly, her voice blending in with the noises I was making.

"Yeah?" I managed to ground out.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

My eyes snapped open, and I shook my head. "Bella, no—" My words were cut off with her hand tightening around my dick even more. I panted and dug my fingers into her waist, trying to get a hold of myself before I came in my jeans.

"Please?" she asked innocently.

Goddamnit. I was gonna cave; I knew it. "Alright, stop, stop, stop," I urged, and her hand froze as she stared up at me expectantly. I took a few seconds to work myself down from all the pleasurable torture. "Post Falls, Idaho."

She dropped her hand. "Why there?" she queried suspiciously.

I scratched the back of my neck, unsure whether I should reveal this tidbit, but I already knew my course of action. "To see Thomas."

Her eyes widened as she stared blankly at me.

I cupped her cheeks. "Are you okay?" I queried, worried. Fucking hell, I shouldn't have said anything.

Her lips parted slightly, shock still etched on her face. "You…you're taking me to see him?" she asked in a whisper.

I nodded. "It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday." I tried to decipher what she was feeling. There seemed to be a mixture of so many emotions emanating from her.

Her hand came up to cover her mouth, and suddenly, she was silently sobbing, her eyes scrunched up.

Oh no.

No, no, no.

I grabbed her shoulders. "Bella, I'm sorry. We'll turn back around," I spoke quickly, terrified I'd upset her. We hadn't exactly asked her permission to do this. Maybe it was too much for her.

"No!" she cried, her eyes blazing. She shook her head slightly, and slowly, a small smile crossed her lips. She let out a choked chuckle. "I'm going to see Thomas?"

I rubbed her arms soothingly. "Yeah, if you want to."

A brilliant grin erupted on her face. "Are you fucking kidding me? This is…" She paused, catching her breath. "This is the best gift anyone could ever give me!" She abruptly rushed out of the bathroom, leaving me alone.

Two seconds later, the door opened again, and she poked her head in.

"Come on!" she hissed at me, and vanished again.

Needless to say, we peeled out of the gas station in under a minute, continuing on to our destination. Black was pretty pissed that I'd ruined the surprise. He might've even used the term "pussy-whipped," but I'd tuned him out some time ago after passing the second Jack in the Box along the freeway. To me, as long as Bella was happy, which was an understatement, then nothing else mattered.

When we were a little over halfway there, Bella became increasingly quiet. I wondered what was going on in her mind. She had always been so difficult to read. I reached over to her lap, where her hands were clasped, and gently forced my hand between hers. She glanced at me with a small, content smile, and turned her attention out the window.

As we pulled up to the First Presbyterian Church of Post Falls, Bella's knee started bouncing. I parked the car in the parking lot around the side and turned off the engine. All three of us merely sat in silence for a few minutes. It appeared the journey was over and now we had to make a move.

Black was the first to break the bout of silence. "So…are you two going in?" he asked us.

I furrowed my brow at him. "You're not coming?" I questioned.

He shook his head, looking down, but didn't offer a reason why.

Bella sighed. "That's okay, Jake," she said empathetically, and opened the door. "Come on, Edward."

I did as told and got out, leaving Black sitting in the car. She came around to my side, and we made our way to the front entrance of the two story brick building. We just reached the double wooden doors, when I impulsively grabbed onto her arm, stopping her. She regarded me in bewilderment.

"Are you okay?" I asked, needing the reassurance.

She placed a hand on my cheek. "I am," she answered, her face more serene than twenty angels.

I leaned in and touched my lips to hers softly. She sighed whimsically and brushed her hand down my neck before dropping it to her side. We both pulled back, taking a moment before I knocked on one of the closed doors. I wasn't entirely sure if anyone would be here, since it wasn't a Sunday, but it was worth a shot.

The heavy door opened loudly, squeaking as it revealed a small, silver-haired woman dressed casually.

"May I help you?" she asked, her voice airy and meek.

Bella didn't respond, appearing to be frozen in her spot, so I took the initiative.

"Yes, we were wondering if we could speak with someone that works here," I requested.

The woman smiled softly. "I'm Charlotte, the Director of Youth Ministry. What can I do for you?"

I took a quick glance at Bella, before looking back at Charlotte. "A couple years ago, an infant boy was left inside the church…"

Charlotte's eyebrows quirked up, and her eyes darted between Bella and me. She suddenly took a step back and opened the door further. "Come in," she urged.

The inside of the church wasn't grandiose by any means, but it was small and welcoming. The stained glass windows allowed little sun to shine through, yet provided an overall ambient glow.

As soon as the church door was shut, Charlotte turned to us with a sigh. "Are you his parents?"

My eyes shot to Bella, wondering how I should answer.

Bella cleared her throat quietly. "Um, just me," she responded.

Charlotte nodded. "We don't usually have the doors open, except on Sunday," she started, "but that Saturday, we had the kid's choir practice. I was in the office an hour before the rehearsal was to begin. I heard the door open. When I went to see who'd come inside, there was no one." She turned and pointed to one of the pews. "He was dropped off right there. Never cried or fussed. He was a gift from God."

I rubbed Bella's back, watching as tears slipped from her eyes.

"What happened…after that? I questioned.

"Sally, the organist, took him in, until a home could be found for him."

"Is she around?"

She shook her head, frowning. "Sally passed away a year and a half ago."

My brow furrowed. "So, then, what happened to him?"

She smiled weakly and looked at Bella. "May I ask why you're crying?"

Bella sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I'm just…I don't know."

Charlotte placed her hand on Bella's shoulder. "Why don't we take a little walk?"

Bella looked at me in permission, to which I nodded. "Okay," she answered.

Charlotte led Bella down the aisle and toward the sanctuary, speaking words to her that I couldn't hear. I stayed near the double doors, trying to give them space but keeping an eye on Bella, whose face remained reflective as she listened to Charlotte.

They both sat down at the first pew and continued their conversation. I couldn't imagine what was going through Bella's mind right now. I knew she was excited to see Thomas, but at the same time, she felt immense guilt for abandoning him.

After a long while, Bella began sobbing, her shoulders shaking violently, and Charlotte rubbed her back. I started taking steps down the aisle, when Charlotte looked back at me with a soft look and shook her head. I froze, a crease forming on my brow, and waited anxiously for Bella.

It felt like years passed when Charlotte stood and made her way back to me, leaving Bella sitting in her place.

"I have some preparations to make for the rehearsal, but please feel free to stay as long as you want," she offered kindly, and sighed lightly. "She'll need a lot of support and love in the coming days. I'd like you to call the church in a week, ask for me, and tell me how she's doing, okay?"

"Okay…," I spoke, confused. "What happened?"

"I think that's something she would have to share with you," she said, and patted my arm before disappearing into a room.

I looked back at Bella, not able to see her face, but could easily tell she was still crying. With cautious strides, I approached her. Her eyes were puffy, red, and filled to the brim with moist despair.

"Bella," I spoke, trying to garner her attention.

She sniffled and let out a shaky breath.

I sat next to her quietly, allowing her to speak when she was ready.

"Well, I know where he is," she uttered, her voice cracking.

"Where?"

She finally looked at me, making my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. "In the ground," she replied, a stony expression forming. "He's dead."

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**A/N: **

**Only two more chapters left, though I wouldn't say the story is winding down. Next chapter deals with some pretty heavy stuff. **

**I can't say I'll get it out to you quickly, given I'm now working two jobs. And, unfortunately, I never pre-wrote this fic, which I regret now, but that's how it is. So, please, don't pester me to update. You'll be sorely disappointed. However, I always indicate my progress through Twitter. **

**Twitter: xrxdanixrx**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: **

**Beta is Lindz26. Pre-reader is FFpassion. This is the last chapter.**

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**WARNING: a portion of this chapter deals with attempted self-harm.  
**

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I stepped away from the front door and craned my neck upwards, hoping to get a glimpse of Bella in her room. All I could see was darkness up there. So far, I'd knocked three separate times with no answer. School was about to start in fifteen minutes and she wasn't here. Maybe she needed more space, so she took herself.

That day we'd gone to the church, she'd asked that I give her some time. The news of her son's death had hit her hard, and all I could do was give her what she needed. So, I hadn't spoken to her all weekend. That didn't mean I hadn't seen her. I drove by her house Saturday evening, just to make sure she was safe. Her bedroom light had been on, and I was able to catch a brief glimpse of her walking past the window.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, debating if I should call her. A beat up car came into sight and stopped right in front of me. Black hobbled out of the passenger side, balancing himself on the door.

"Where is she?" he asked me, wasting no time.

Sam got out of the driver's side and walked around the car toward the house. Black threw a silver key at him to catch.

"What's going on?" I queried.

Black took out a folded paper from his jeans' pocket. "Found this weird letter from Bella in my mailbox. I need to talk to her."

"Why'd she send you a letter?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, genius."

I narrowed my eyes, but didn't get a chance to retort when Sam came running out of the house holding a piece of paper.

"She wasn't there," Sam said, "but I found this in her room." He handed the paper to me. "It's got your name on it."

My eyes scanned the messy scrawl.

_Dear Edward, _

_I don't even know how to start this. It's taking every bit of strength in me to write. You mean so much to me. From the first moment we talked, you brought light into my otherwise dark life. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your kindness and love. I only wish I had it in me to return it the way you deserve. And you deserve so much. _

_I want you to know, I'm not ignoring you. I've just needed time to figure some things out. So, don't for one second think that any of this has to do with you. I'm just not sure how I can live in a world without him in it. _

I crumbled the letter and dropped it to the ground, not bothering to finish reading the rest. Without a backwards glance, I raced to my car.

"Where the hell are you going?" Black called out, grabbing his crutches from out of Sam's car.

"I know where she is," I said, getting inside and turning on the engine.

I barely pulled out of the driveway when Black came to the rear, blocking my path.

"Get out of my fuckin' way!" I yelled out. There wasn't any time for this bullshit.

Black came to the passenger side and got in. "You're taking me with you." He stuck his head out the window. "Sam, find Charlie and sober his ass up."

"Well, hurry the fuck up," I ordered, gripping the steering wheel.

Gunning it through town, it took us less than ten minutes to get to where we needed to go. Black and I decided to split up. He was going to check the beach, even though I knew she wouldn't be there. No, I knew exactly where she was.

Running as fast as I could, I made it to the cliff in time. Her dark hair waved freely in the wind as she stared out across the water. Even from a distance, I could see the goose bumps on the back of her arms.

"Bella!" I called.

Her head whipped over her shoulder. Fear was evident in her shimmering, red-rimmed eyes. "I told you not to come!" she shouted over the crashing of rough waves.

I took slow steps to her, just in case. "I didn't get that far in the letter."

She shook her head and faced forward again. "Go home, Richie." There was such pain in her voice, and I was grateful I'd gotten here now instead of later.

"Black got a letter from you, too. He's really worried."

She didn't offer a response.

I was right behind her now, able to see the bloody cuts on her wrists and forearms. Fuck, how could she do this to herself?

"Step back from the edge, Bella." I attempted to take her arm, but she anticipated it and took a small step forward, causing my heart to stop beating. "Don't. Please, don't."

Her sobs of agony were drowned by the roar of the sea. "He's dead," she said. "My son is dead, and it's all my fault."

"SIDS is said to be common."

"I don't care," she choked. "If I had taken care of him instead of dumping him like a pile of trash, he could still be alive. He could've gone to college and married a nice girl. Had tons of kids. And now, that's not even possible, and it's all because I couldn't get my fucking shit together."

"You can't blame yourself. How could you have known he'd pass away? Sometimes, these things just happen—"

"They don't just happen," she interrupted, and cried harder. "How can I live with myself?"

There seemed to be a battle waging in her head, and I was trying with all my might to keep her with me. I tried taking her arm again, and this time, she let me. Her skin was freezing. I turned her so she was facing me. Her glassy eyes refused to line up with mine.

"If you're not staying for yourself, then please, stay for the people who love you," I started. "All your friends, me, and your father—"

She scoffed. "My father. Like he'd even care."

"He would," I assured, and cupped her cheek. "You say you can't live in a world without your son…well, I can't live in a world without you. So, if you go…I'm going next."

Her eyes flashed to mine, tears streaming from them. "No, Edward. You don't mean that."

"You think I'd lie about something like this?"

She hung her head and closed her eyes, trying to hide her sorrow.

"I need you, Bella. If you go, who will I love? Who will be my wife one day? Who will have my children? No one can make me as happy as you can. There'd be no point sticking around."

"Bella, get away from there!" Black called in the distance, making his way toward us as fast as he could.

She ignored him, choosing to turn her head to the water. "I don't have the will to live, Edward," she spoke.

"I have enough will for the both of us," I replied, and rubbed her arms up and down. "We need to get you inside."

"I don't want to move."

"You don't have a choice." I lifted her into my arms. She didn't put up a fuss as she curled into me.

"What the fuck just happened?" Black asked, finally catching up to us. "Is she okay?"

I passed by him. "We're going back to the car so I can get her home. Try taking less than an hour."

"Fuck you."

Back at Bella's house, I placed her limp body in bed. She'd fallen asleep in the car, leaving me to deal with Black on the way to dropping him off at his place. He'd asked relentlessly what happened, but I made sure to stay away from the truth as much as I could. I'd known from the letter that Bella would try to take her own life. I wasn't sure if she'd have actually gone through with it, but I sure as hell hadn't wanted to find out.

"You're home," I said softly to her, brushing a hand across her forehead.

She surprised me by speaking. "I don't want to be."

I sighed and retrieved a wash cloth from the bathroom. As I cleaned her dried up, bloody wrists, she watched me.

"You deserve a good girl. Someone better than me," she said.

"I deserve you."

"You must think really low of yourself, then."

"Stop it," I barked, causing tears to well up in her eyes. My shoulders slumped. "How could you do this to yourself, Bella?"

She glanced away.

I took off her shoes next and covered her in a blanket. Sitting next to her as she stared up at the ceiling, I thought about what could've happened if I'd lost her. It would've been the end of me, surely. It made me realize how precious our time is on this earth. My dad could very well die soon, yet I was still claiming to be angry with him. Was that really fair to either of us?

An hour later, Bella had finally fallen asleep. The door downstairs slammed shut, putting me on full alert. That was either Black, who had the house key, or it was…

"Where the damn hell is she?" I heard Charlie question himself downstairs.

I climbed off the bed quietly and shut the door behind on the way out. Charlie's eyes narrowed as I walked down the steps.

"Is she up there?" he asked, waving a piece of paper in the air. He looked like he'd just woken up from a hard night of drinking. "Why'd she write me this ridiculous letter?"

"Sir, your daughter is…" I began, pausing. "She's not in the best shape right now. Something happened—"

"What'd you do to her?" he questioned, jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"I didn't do anything."

"Well, what happened?"

"It's not my place to say."

"Since when the hell has that stopped you?"

"I know you and I haven't exactly agreed on things before, but there's one thing we can agree on. I know you love your daughter. Well, so do I. More than anything. But right now, she needs her father."

He glanced at the stairs and back at me, reluctance in his eyes that looked so much like Bella's. Some sort of resolve crossed his features, allowing him to slowly climb the stairs for the first time in years. When he'd made it to the top, I followed. I watched him from the top step as he entered her room cautiously and stood by her bed.

Bella blinked her eyes open, taking her father in. She let out a choked sob. "Daddy…"

He wasted no time, sitting on the bed and taking her in his arms. "_Shhh_, _shh_. I'm here, baby girl. I'm here."

I went back downstairs and out the front door, feeling confident I could leave them alone for a while. They needed this time to take away each other's demons.

Once back home, I went into my father's study. He was seated at his desk, reading the newspaper, and looked up at me.

"Dad, can we talk?"

X-X-X-X

Over the next five days, I gave Bella the space she wanted. A small part of me was afraid to leave her alone, but a bigger part had faith that she wouldn't attempt anything rash again. She was born to live, and I hoped to make her realize that.

My father and I had been spending some time together. For the first time, he was actually making an effort to hear what I had to say. He listened as I told him how pressured I felt to please him, how I'd changed into a new person as a result. I also divulged the career path I wanted to take. Of course, he disagreed with it, but after some convincing, he offered his financial help. I turned him down.

I ran my fingers over the second hand camcorder I'd received as a gift from Bella. It'd been perched on my nightstand so I could look at it whenever I was in bed. Without her around, I needed something to keep me connected to her.

From my room, I could hear the clattering of cutlery downstairs. I hadn't had my mother's cooking in ages. Apprehensively, I followed the smell of roast chicken. Sitting at the dining table, my mother, father, and Jasper were quiet as they ate. My presence caused their heads to turn.

"Edward, honey," my mom greeted with a small smile. "Are you hungry?"

I was surprised she could be so kind after the way I'd treated her. Nevertheless, I took a seat next to Jasper. My father nodded at me in approval, letting me know I made the right move. For a while, the last thing I sought out was his approval, but I found that having it now meant something to me.

"Is Bella doing better?" Jasper asked me.

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Mike was at the hospital because he broke his thumb, and he said he saw Bella there with her dad."

I looked at my father, who wore a straight face, but I could instantly tell he knew something about it. "I haven't seen her in a few days, so I don't know," I said. "Why was she there?"

"Beats me," Jasper said.

"Dad?" I asked. "Did you treat her?"

"No," he answered.

"But you know why she was there, right?" I was regretting leaving her alone for those few days.

"She's fine, Edward," he assured. "She's in great shape and back home now."

I sighed, wanting nothing more than to drive to her house and see her, but I was waiting for her to make the first move.

The doorbell rang, interrupting dinner.

"I'll get it," Jasper offered, getting up.

Mom reached over and filled my glass with water. "So, a film director, huh? Do you want to be like that N. Night Shamalana," she said, looking confused.

I chuckled. "It's M. Night Shyamalan. And I don't know my style yet."

"That's something that'll form as you go," my father chimed in.

"I hope so," I said. "UCLA has a good film program. I'm thinking I might want to go there."

"Will it be too late to send in an application?" Mom asked.

"I might know someone on the—" Dad started.

"It's fine," I said. "I'm just going to try my best. That's all I can really do at this point."

"Edward," Jasper called, "can you come here?"

I got up and found him in the living room. "What is it?"

"Bella's at the door."

Thank God. I hoped it wouldn't be too long before she came around. Though, I figured she'd call; not stop around my place. I wasn't complaining.

I went to pass him, but he stopped me.

"Hey, I just wanna say I'm sorry for all the crap that's been happening lately," he said. "I hope you and I can be friends again."

I nodded and patted him once on the shoulder. He went off to the dining table, while I went to the front door. Seeing Bella after everything that had happened was cathartic. She looked…different. And it wasn't just the blue jeans and lavender shirt she was wearing; it was something else. Something had changed.

"Hey," she said, a weak smile on her face.

My eyes roamed down her arms that had ACE bandages wrapped around them. "I heard you were in the hospital."

She looked down at the ground. "My dad took me. He was worried about the cuts on my arms and wrists. And, as it turned out, I had a really high fever." She shifted on her feet. "They had me on suicide watch. I have to go to counseling every week."

"I'm sorry," I said, my hand reaching out to hers. I hooked my index finger with her pinky.

Her eyes moved to our hands. "Me, too. I was selfish and wasn't thinking straight. Even if you hadn't shown up, I don't think I would've been able to go through with it. I was hesitating."

"I'm glad you were. I can't stand the thought of you not around me."

She finally looked up at me with a pout on her lips. "I feel the same way. I don't want you to worry about me, okay? I'm gonna get better."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, crushing her to me. "I know you will." I pulled away slightly and pressed my mouth to hers. It wasn't heated or desperate. Our mouths weren't even moving. It was simply our way of being close.

She dropped her forehead to my chest. "My dad is getting help, too."

"Really?"

"He hasn't had a drink in days and he's stopped going around Sue's."

"Is that what you want?"

She nodded. "I missed him."

I hugged her tighter. "Do want to come in?"

"Your family's in there."

"So?" I asked.

"I don't think they'd want me around."

"Since when do you care what people think?"

"I've always cared."

"Well, you have nothing to worry about. And it's probably about time they get to know my girlfriend."

"Okay," she whispered, though I could tell she was nervous.

I kept my arm around her as I led her inside. My parents and Jasper stopped eating when we came in. Their eyes were squared on Bella.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella, my girlfriend," I introduced. "Bella, you already know Jasper."

"It's nice to meet you all," Bella spoke timidly. "I'm sorry to interrupt your meal."

"Oh, don't be silly," Mom said. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, she is," I spoke for Bella.

Mom quickly gathered more cutlery and stacked a fresh plate sky high with food. Bella looked overwhelmed yet content. I squeezed her leg under the table in comfort.

"So, Bella. Have you heard my son's going to be a film director?" Mom started.

Bella chuckled. "Yes, he'll be a very good one."

"But UCLA is so far away," Mom droned.

Bella glanced at me.

"Where have you applied?" Dad asked bluntly.

Mom and I shot him a glare.

"I'm, uh…I don't—" Bella fumbled, taken aback.

"She's still looking at all her options," I threw in. "She has a passion for cooking."

Bella frowned.

"Then I'm sure you've looked into Le Cordon Bleu?" Dad asked.

"Well…no," she said.

Dad decided to drop it, thank God. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I'll help her," I spoke, and heard her sigh quietly next to me.

After dinner, I walked her outside. It was cold out, so I gave her one of my jackets.

"So…UCLA," she brought up.

"Hopefully," I said.

"That's all the way in California." She was trying to hide her emotions.

I played with the ends of her hair. "It'll be good for us."

She furrowed her brow. "You mean for you. I'll be here and you'll be there."

"So, you're not coming with me?"

"What?" she asked. "What would I do in California?"

"School," I said, causing her to look away. "What's wrong?"

"I think you forget who I am. I'm not the type that's going to go to college and have a big career. I applied at the diner down the road, and if they offer me a job as a waitress, then I'm going to take that."

"Are you crazy?" I questioned, baffled by her decision.

She scoffed and moved away from me. "What's wrong with being a waitress?"

"Nothing, but it's not you. You love cooking. You should do something with that."

Her nostrils flared. "And where exactly am I going to get the money for that? Where am I going to get the money for anything? If you haven't noticed, my dad's a deadbeat and I'm really not far from that myself. My future is in this stupid town."

"Bella—" I started.

"No," she interrupted. "Just go to California. Live your life. You deserve it." She began to walk down the driveway, but I stopped her. She wasn't getting away that easily.

"I don't think you remember, but your grades are great…even though they're fabricated, but who cares? You're smart and you'd have those grades anyway. As far as money goes, you can look into scholarships and loans. It's not the end for you. I want you with me wherever I go. Don't you want that, too?"

"Of course I do," she said in a sigh. "I just don't—"

I pressed a finger to her lips. "You just don't know how you're going to manage it all. It's going to be a lot of work, but you're going to do it a step at a time. I'll be with you the whole way."

She took my hand in hers. "I sometimes think I deserve to be stuck in this town."

"If Thomas were still around, he'd want his mom to be happy. Would that make you happy?"

She shook her head, her eyes shimmering. "The only way I'd be happy is with you."

I smiled. "I'm glad you said that, because now I won't have to kidnap you and drag you with me."

A laugh escaped her, and we embraced. Both of us had a lot to figure out, and it might be a challenge, but as long as we did it together, we could accomplish anything.

**- The End -**

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**A/N: **

**Thanks for following along. Over the year and a half since I started this fic, I learned a lot about writing and who I've wanted to be as an author. This plot was a stretch for me, but I wanted to do it to show myself I could. I'm so glad to finally put a complete stamp on it. **

**Lindz and Irene – thank you so much for being my constants throughout this journey. I'm so grateful for all your help. **

**In regards to an epilogue, most of you know I hate doing them, because I feel they tie up stories too nicely, but when I originally started this fic, I imagined an epi. So, even though my outlook has changed, I feel I should honor my initial plan. My other story, Washed Up, is my priority, but I'll make an effort to get an epilogue posted here. **


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